June 29, 2025 • 51 mins
In this episode of The Aging Well Podcast, Dr. Armstrong and Corbin Bruton welcome Dr. Lloyd Glauberman, a clinical psychologist, innovator, and founder of Lifestyle Intelligence (LQ). With over 25 years in private practice in New York City, Dr. Glauberman has dedicated his career to helping individuals reshape their habits and adopt a healthier lifestyle. His groundbreaking work includes the development of the LQ app, a cutting-edge mobile tool designed to guide users in optimizing their eating, sleeping, and moving habits for improved well-being.Dr. Glauberman discusses the critical importance of lifestyle management, focusing on the roles of sleep, nutrition, and exercise in overall health. He emphasizes the need for lifestyle intelligence, which he defines as the awareness and understanding of how our daily choices impact our well-being. The discussion also covers the effects of stress on mental and physical health, the development of the LQ app designed to support sustainable lifestyle changes, and the common imbalances seen in patients that affect their stress and mood. In this conversation, Dr. Glauberman discusses the importance of lifestyle choices, particularly in relation to exercise, nutrition, and mental health. He addresses the obesity crisis, emphasizing the role of screen addiction and societal factors. The discussion also highlights success stories from his methods, the significance of focusing on children's health, and insights from psychotherapy. Dr. Glauberman shares personal practices for aging well and offers actionable steps for listeners to improve their lifestyle intelligence incrementally.Learn more about Dr. Glauberman and the LQ app at https://lifestyleintelligencelq.com
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Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
In this episode of the Aging Wall Podcast, we welcome Doctor
Lloyd Glauberman, an expert in lifestyle management, in a
science of timing and rhythm in our behavioral ecosystems.
Dr. Glauberman is a clinical psychotherapist, innovator, and
founder of Lifestyle Intelligence.
With over 25 years in private practice in New York City, he
has dedicated his career to helping individuals reshape
(00:26):
their habits and adopt A healthier lifestyle.
Doctor Glauberman will share insights on how harmonizing 3
core elements, eating, moving, and sleeping can improve stress
management, facilitate behavioral change, and enhance
overall well-being. Join us as we explore how
optimizing these daily rhythms can help combat anxiety, mood
(00:46):
disorders, and contribute to Aging well.
So, Doctor Glauberman, welcome to the Aging Well podcast.
Let's begin by having you tell us a little bit about yourself
and what inspired you to focus on lifestyle management and the
role of timing and rhythm and behavior.
Well, I've been around for a while.
I grew up in, I was born in 47. So I grew up in the 50s and the
(01:09):
60s. And during that period of time,
everybody was blind, deaf and dumb to these issues.
They didn't exist. Nutrition meant you had enough
to eat, exercise with something you did in gym and sleep with
something that you did so you didn't have to take a nap in the
afternoon. That was the totality of
understanding of those issues atthe time.
(01:30):
And I lived my life as a kid whowas very, very active.
I was a little bit overweight and that kind of thing.
And so I, I grew up and as I didand, and the world began to
change, I began to change as well.
And I noticed that after gettingsome feedback from some people
that I wasn't taking very good care of myself.
(01:50):
So all of this began with me, with somebody basically
insulting me and got me to beginthinking about these issues
personally. OK then as everything evolved in
the culture, I became aware of patterns that obviously were
were happening and people neededto pay more attention to right
(02:13):
having to do with how important lifestyle is, how the eating,
sleeping, moving the self-care portion of our lives was
critically important. Especially sleep, which for me
is the linchpin of everything. And I remember back in the time
when I was attempting to be a, a, a rock'n'roll star, which
(02:35):
obviously didn't work very well.I remember not getting very much
sleep because I was working a day job in a mental hospital.
And then at night I was playing and I was getting sick,
including getting a, a case of the flu that I'd never had
before. And I was in bed for for a week.
I didn't put two things togetheruntil much later I realized, OK,
sleep is essential for a varietyof reasons, not the least of
(02:57):
which is the one that it that itis least spoken about.
The one issue that's critical that needs to be addressed when
sleep is involved is weight. Because most of the time when
people think about sleep, they think about OK, yeah, it's real
important to clean your brain. We know that.
It's real important for cognitive functioning.
We know that those are obviouslybig ticket over the top kinds of
(03:21):
reasons why you need sleep. But in addition to the quieter
problem with that is your appetite gets amped up, right?
That's what happens, why you're awake more, your brain needs
more energy. So it basically creates
artificial hunger. And this isn't the kind of
people just overeating because they're overeating and sloppy
and stupid. No, this is real hunger as you
(03:45):
perceive it. So what happens?
You're sleep deprived, you eat more and then you start gaining
weight. When then when you couple that
with the overall lifestyle that most people have today, which is
looking at a screen, being completely immobile and not
paying attention to anything happening inside their head and
(04:06):
body because they're so drunk onthe screen and the information
they're trying to create by thatkind of a lifestyle to, to use
to adding a little humor. When I grew up, there actually
was something called self esteem.
It was built on the way you perceived yourself based on your
interactions with the world, right?
Self esteem doesn't exist anymore.
(04:28):
It's been replaced by selfie esteem, the artificial self
created as you go about the business of navigating through
all the apps and all the things that you do to let people know
who you are, what you do, and what you're thinking at every
moment in time. So from that, everything that
I've just said, you can kind of get a sense of who I am and what
I do and how I think. But there is nothing more
(04:50):
important than lifestyle intelligence.
Nothing because it's the foundation for everything else.
Just noted. There they go.
That's everything I know all. Right, that was a 5 minute
podcast. Yeah, yeah.
But I mean, things are so important right now, right?
For varieties of reasons. But the idea of people paying
more attention to themselves is essential.
(05:13):
And it's hard to do when everything tends to make it
difficult, especially for the critically important kids.
Older kids go to high school. I think we've got something
where we 1213 million public high school kids.
Do you know what time they have to get there?
Most of them average high schoolstart time.
Probably 8:00 or 8:30 I would imagine. 8:00 You're right on
(05:34):
the money. OK, now I.
Have teenagers. What?
What time do these kids go to sleep?
If it's my daughter, I don't know because I'm in bed for
probably 4 hours before she goesto sleep.
I think for her she stays up. Yeah, it's usually well after
12. Right.
And what time does she get up? I usually get her up about 6:45.
OK, so she's a little bit short sleep, right?
(05:57):
So all of those things begin to take place.
And, and that, that's why this, these issues are so important
because younger people, kids, high school kids, college kids,
all the diseases that are that we, we, we think about having to
do with time, heart disease and all that kind of stuff that's
starting much earlier now. So you're going to see more and
(06:19):
more cases of blocked arteries, kids early 20s, mid 20s, if they
continue doing what they're doing.
And at this point in time, there's no, there's nothing to
suggest anything is going to be changing because when money's
involved, and that's why kids going to have to go to school
earlier. If there's always having to do
with, it's going to cost more money to get kids later because
(06:40):
things have to be reorganized. And whenever money's involved,
we know what happens. Follow the money.
So unfortunately, that's the dilemma that we're in right now.
Yeah, I love this. A lot of.
Problems and then, but lifestyleis singularly the most
important. I love that the schools say that
the reason is because the kids need more sleep.
And it's like, it's such nonsense.
(07:01):
Yeah, that's, you know, we started at 8:30, you know, it's.
But then they have school activities and things like that
to keep them later. And it's just there's no sense
to how they schedule things. No, and kids don't care because
kids live forever. And when we all remember being
young, right, we're going to. We will definitely be here
forever. We're young, we're strong, we're
having fun, and we're 18 years old.
(07:23):
Sky's the limit. Wow, does that close quickly?
Really quickly. I feel like we're just kind of
scratching the surface here, butI think we should really dive
deeper in this subject. Would you, could you, could you
explain with a little bit more depth the interaction of Yeah,
(07:45):
could you explain with a little bit more depth on how the
interaction of eating, moving and sleeping will influence our
mental and physical health? OK, well, to begin with, to, to
use the the traditional model, when you sleep enough
cognitively, you perform better,your thinking is clearer, you
have more mental energy, you canfocus more easily.
(08:09):
OK, In addition to that, if you get enough sleep emotionally,
you're going to find yourself a little bit more stable.
Sleep deprivation tends to get people edgier.
So there's more conflict, there's there's more anger.
I'm not sure what what the mechanisms are in the brain
which causes that, but clearly sleep deprivation gets people
(08:32):
ishier and obviously you're not going to have as much physical
energy, so you're not going to move much.
So all of that gets disrupted. In addition, the average person,
when it comes to the quality of food that they eat, given all
the information that that's available today, you would think
that more people would tend to make better choices for what
(08:55):
they have, what they put in their body, right?
Does that happen? I don't think that happens that
that much. People tend to want to eat what
they eat and, and, and since they're so distracted by other
things, they don't pay much attention.
I mean, look, look at the TV commercials for food.
Have you ever seen a bigger hamburger in your life or a
(09:16):
cheeseburger that comes right atthe screen, right?
It looks, it looks like a spare tire that it looks like the size
of a spare tire. And, and people don't pay
attention to what quality means in terms of nutrition and what's
needed for all that other kind of thing.
So and, and movement, we, we allknow exactly what happens when
you don't move enough in terms of your body and your brain.
(09:40):
Things just happen much more quickly, but you get distracted
very easily. Hence, unless something is done
on on a on a on a bigger scale, unless schools begin to
incorporate these ideas into early childhood education, I
don't see this changing anytime soon.
(10:03):
Because the earlier that you intervene, obviously, the more
likely it is that children are going to be able to adapt to
this and start healthy patterns,right?
How difficult would it be to weave proper nutrition, movement
and sleep into stories that children read when they're in
elementary school? So the rhythm of these ideas
(10:25):
gets installed because they hearthem over and over again, right?
Same with early mathematics, right?
You can put labels on the numbers, like how many steps did
we walk today? OK, in the morning, we walked
300 steps in the afternoon, put labels on these things.
So all of these concepts are part of cognitive activity early
(10:47):
on. And kids will at least have the
opportunity to have this in their head, right?
I don't know any educational publisher that is involved with
this at all because it would be well known by now.
It would be a great story. This publisher was doing stuff
that's really useful for kids, early childhood education.
But I don't I don't know if anybody's doing it.
I. Think we'd also have to have a
lot of teachers and professors that are not only teaching it,
(11:11):
but actually practicing what they're teaching as well.
And from personal experience getting educated in the public
school system. I don't know if that's, I don't
know if a lot of teachers who were.
Practicing it. In other words, they're not
going to be on the way you want to see them.
Yeah. Exactly.
(11:32):
It's kind of like going to a hypnotist to stop smoking and
you'd find out he smokes. I mean, that would be that kind
of thing. Yeah.
But it's we're dealing, we're dealing with serious business
right now. And this foundational triad of
eating, sleeping, moving is the cornerstone for everything.
It doesn't mean everything's going to go well, but at least
(11:53):
it puts you in a position where you can hopefully make the best
choices for yourself. And you can get, no pun
intended, quality feedback. I'm glad Corbin went to the
public schools instead of his university training because I
was his professor and undergrad.And so if he had gone to the
college professors, I would havebeen all over him because I do
(12:14):
try and model those things. You know, we do try and model
sleep and exercise and proper eating and all that.
And it is something that even ifwe're doing it right, you know,
we can have challenges with it. I mean, I'm, I am challenged
right now with sleep. I get to bed at a regular time.
I have good sleep hygiene, but I'm still trying to figure out
why are there some nights that Idon't get good restorative
(12:36):
sleep? So what are some of the other
common disruptions that could affect this balance?
And ultimately, how do they affect our stress and our mood
disorders? Well, what you, the word that
you just said, stress is, is critically important.
The problem is, are we sensitiveenough to what's happening in
our lives so we can pinpoint those little changes that are
(12:59):
occurring that are poking at us but we're not paying any
attention to? Because the way our culture is
set up and the way our lives areset up, there's so many
distractions that people have a tendency not to suddenly
realize. Oh, that's really bothering me.
It means you have to be honest with yourself.
And it's like, oh, that set of circumstances I have to deal
with, but I haven't. And then you go back to your
(13:23):
daily routine, but that hasn't been dealt with.
What happens? You overeat, right?
You get into an argument with somebody, you're less likely to
go to the gym. So there's a certain amount of
self-awareness. So if you, if you build a model
that says, OK, what typically happens when I'm upset about
something? What can I sense that's
differently? Where can I sense it?
(13:45):
Is it subtly in my when, when I'm working with somebody, the
first thing I, I mean, people come into my office, they sit
down and when I know them after a little bit of time, you can
you can see stress on their faceimmediately before they say,
before you, they utter a word, I'll say, what's wrong?
They'll say, what do you mean what's wrong?
I'll say something's wrong. And they say, oh, oh, Oh, yeah,
(14:07):
yeah, there is something wrong. So often people get so
distracted because there's so much noise in their in their
ecosystem. They don't pay enough attention
to so little conflicts that theymight be happening.
The anxiety about something that's upcoming that they didn't
anticipate they have to be involved with, or they did or
said something to somebody they're upset with and they
(14:29):
should be apologizing and they're not.
So what happens, what happens when you're when you're anxious?
What's the what's the typical emotional response when you're
anxious? All right, that's a that's a
difficult question. I'm sorry.
It's the same. It's the same as what happens
when you're guilty. You get angry because guilt is
other than shame than shame doesn't happen that often.
(14:50):
For most people, guilt is the worst feeling you can have.
So how do you get rid of it? You get angry and you distract
yourself from the responsibilityof doing what you have to do to
clean up the mess that you make.If you don't, what happens is
you get angry and you'll probably be eating.
So there are all these little subtleties that happen to people
that they need to pay attention to.
(15:11):
Pause. Ask yourself what's happened in
the last 24 to 48 hours that hasme upset.
And if you act as your own therapist, you might be able to
come up with, oh, yeah, that's the that's why I'm having
trouble sleeping. I haven't finished that or I
haven't started that, or I owe somebody that apology that I
didn't apologize when I should have.
Those little subtle nuances. Because our lives are so full of
(15:35):
stuff, so full of input in termsof the everyday stuff, plus the
stuff you're online where you have so much noise in your head,
you have a hard time listening to yourself.
But it can be done. But it takes time and focus.
And the world we live in today doesn't give you much time and
focus time for yourself. But ask yourself what's
different now that I'm feeling this way?
(15:56):
My guess is you'll probably be able to find it.
And then what do you do with it?But if you do it once, then
you've got a model, and that's a, that's a good start to be
able to handle stuff. By the way, as I was talking,
were you thinking about episodesin your life that fit what I
just said? Probably, yeah.
Because it looked, it looked that way.
It looked like you were going, hmm, does that fit?
(16:18):
Oh, maybe right. And that's what your faces look
like that had that maybe look. And that's my job as a therapist
is to read faces like that. So there you go.
You didn't expect that, did you?No, no, can't hide anything from
a therapist. Well, that depends.
That depends. Yeah, it's almost like, it's
(16:40):
almost like we're having an internal fight or flight when
we're under that level of stress.
And even though it's internal, there's an external expression,
right? Almost like a defense mechanism
where maybe consciously we're unaware of it, but
subconsciously we're saying, I, I don't like this.
And so we're reacting in that way.
(17:01):
Is that safe to say? Absolutely.
That's background. Absolutely.
Yeah, we are complex beings. We're kind of, I mean, our
existence is, I mean, every so often, just as we pause and
think about our existence and how we are the universe that has
recreated itself, right? So it literally like started in
(17:21):
the same kind of metaphor of TheBig Bang, right, Where sperm
meets egg and the whole thing issilently explodes.
And the next thing we went from that one cell to 35 1/2 trillion
cells. Our existence is really strange.
We are the universe. We don't know a whole lot about
it, but we are. So what led you to develop the
concept of lifestyle intelligence, and how does it
(17:45):
differ from other Wellness approaches?
Well, it doesn't differ in termsof when you get down to the
nitty gritty of what's going on.It's different just conceptually
in terms of how it's organized. And I think it's easy to
understand when it's organized as a as an intelligence.
So if it wasn't for three psychologists, you and I, we're
(18:05):
not talking. And that that is Dan Goldman,
who made emotional intelligence famous, and the two
psychologists who got the idea from Peter Sullivan and John
Mayer, who wrote a couple of articles in psychology journals
about emotional intelligence. And Goldman, who had a huge
audience because he used to write for the New York Times.
(18:27):
So he wrote that book. He made that.
He made EQ and intelligence. So now we had two intelligences,
IQ and EQ, and it made and and making all of those emotional
issues as an intelligence, it gave it more gravitas, more
important, because now it was anintelligence and now it's all
over the place. It's part of the culture.
(18:47):
People don't realize this was until I think of the early 1990s
when his book was published thatpeople even knew what the
concept was. Now it seems like it was always
here. So when I was looking at that
lifestyle stuff, I said, does lifestyle fit that model?
Should it be considered an intelligence?
Well, we were born with it. We were born with that
knowledge. You don't.
(19:08):
Infants don't say to themselves,am I full?
Am I still hungry? No, they stopped.
When they're sleepy, they fall asleep.
And have you ever seen a kid notmove when he wanted to move?
Right. Those three things were wired
into us and understood. But due to the power of the
hypnotic power of culture and family, those sensory
(19:31):
experiences disappeared because we sat at the table and watched
what mommy told us what we were supposed to eat.
I mean, I grew up in the 50s. I mean, come on.
I used to eat on the average meat twice a day.
You know, I'd come home from school at 3:30.
My mom said my mom was your typical stay at home mom, right?
And she was a wonderful woman, but she she didn't know anything
(19:52):
and she was happy when I was eating because it made her feel
she was a good mom. I come home from school.
What do you want to eat? I'll have a salami sandwich
that's at 33630. Is dinner.
Am I hungry? Of course not.
Did I eat? Of course, why it's dinner time.
So that kind of family hypnosis and cultural hypnosis was part
of my lifestyle growing up. So I had, I was, I was clueless
(20:14):
until I had an incident where somebody made reference to my
size. So I, I went through the entire
process when I in 1969, I drove by my high school.
I graduated from this high school in 1965.
I drove by the high school and Isaw a guy running around the
track 1969 and I said to myself,what in the world was that?
(20:36):
Is that idiot doing? Seriously?
I mean, today who says anything other than, oh, there's a guy
who takes good care of himself and I'm labeling this this guy
as an idiot? Little did I know that I would
be doing that a lot in the coming years, but it would like
be six or seven years till all of that stuff hit, which was in
the in the 70s and and obviouslythe 80's.
(20:58):
The irony is all of the information that was never
available to people from my generation is available now,
right? All the health information,
everything we need is right there.
But what's happening, things have gotten worse.
So information in and of itself is not going to do it.
It's how it's packaged, when it's packaged, to whom it's
(21:21):
packaged. This culture has a lot of work
to do in addition to the chaos that's obviously happening
independent of taking care of yourself.
But by the way, that's not goingto be helping All of that stress
that's now in the culture is is going to partially manifest
itself in in really bad ways as people traffic.
That's a different issue altogether.
That's not why I'm here talking politics.
(21:42):
And it's interesting, you know, in the 60s, early 70s, when you
were younger, you were the oddity being that the fat kid,
right? Whereas now it's the norm.
And yeah, we have all that information.
I didn't get heavy until I graduated from college, right?
Little by little by little by little, incrementally.
(22:03):
So this happened as a consequence of the normal
evolution. But then my wife and I moved to
California for a couple of years, where obviously you're in
a car and you never move around,right?
And I gained weight without knowing it.
And I had a friend come visit methat I hadn't seen in seven
years. He heard I was living in
California. Say, hey, Lloyd, now it's come
on over. I said, let's have dinner.
(22:24):
I open the door. The first thing he says to me
is, Gee, man, did you get fat? So that moment in time changed
the trajectory of my life forever.
And it had nothing to do with health.
It had to do with change. I was embarrassed.
And I didn't know anything abouthealth back then other than
whatever I'm doing now. Ain't a good ain't good.
So like stop drinking soda. You know, the, the kind of
(22:46):
obvious things and slowly but surely, and here we are.
I didn't stop. That was it.
I was going to. And I and the one thing that you
find out when you make changes every day, you've got to do it.
This is an every day thing, right?
One of the problems that's nevertalked about with people losing
weight successfully is when they're successful.
(23:09):
That becomes a very difficult moment because now the journey
is over. You're there, so now you have to
cope with being there because all you're thinking about before
was OK, it's time to lose another 10 lbs.
It's time to do this. It's time to do that now.
(23:30):
It's not about getting there, it's about staying there.
Completely different psychology.That's why so many people have
problems at the end, just because all of that energy, they
have to have a new model of reality.
And the reality is it's now it'sjust every day I've got to
sustain what I've achieved. That's a totally different
thought pattern. Not a lot of people, a lot of
people have trouble with that because it's once you're there
(23:53):
doesn't mean you're there that'sOK, but you don't have that
model in your head. The timeline, the movement that
stopped you got there, congratulations.
Now the hard part, you have to stay there because we all know
lots of people who've gotten there and then didn't starting
over again. OK, that one I know, right?
(24:14):
If that's in our head, that movement, but then pause, pause.
Oh, this is different there you go.
I've talked to a lot of people, so that's one of the storylines.
Not everybody, but yeah, some people do it.
It's a difficult thing, as evidenced by we now have
medication and we have illness, right?
(24:35):
We have weight gain is what? Where did that come from?
As a Deep Throat said in all, the president's men followed the
money, right? Yeah.
And so you developed the LQ app,right, as a guide for users to
be able to make those more sustainable lifestyle
improvement. So how does that work?
(24:55):
OK. The app is divided into two
parts. The first part is the focused
conscious mind educational part.I show up every day for three
minutes. During that 3 minutes of time, I
focus on one particular issue, like what I just talked about in
terms of the difference between getting there and staying there.
All of the different issues, I come at them from different
(25:17):
perspectives. So every time I talk to you, it
may be the same piece of information, but it's done in a
different kind of way. OK, so that allows for ongoing
repetition. I'm there.
This is important. Repetition is really important
to keep you going. So there is those 3 minute
segments. Then as a secondary component, I
(25:39):
have an audio technology I developed a while back and it's
called hypno peripheral processing and is obviously a
variation on hypnosis, but very,very different from typical
structural hypnosis as everybodyimagines.
I tell you stories, adult fairy tales, and each 30 minute
segment has three stories, An introductory story of a myth of
(26:04):
the hero Joseph Campbell kind ofthing, of a person with a
problem goes out in the world, meets a magical person or a wise
person, and then they have thesetransactions.
OK, but there's a pause 5 minutes in and then 2 completely
different stories start up simultaneously, one in each ear.
Now that's usually the time whenpeople are listening to me tell
(26:26):
this and they go, how do you follow two stories
simultaneously? It's a legitimate question, and
the answer is I don't want you to.
Everything is told very slowly. I want you drifting away,
because when you drift away, youtend to drift into that magical
space in between waking and sleep.
The hypnagogic state. Now, it's incredibly powerful in
(26:50):
terms of your being able to process information, but you're
only in it very briefly every day as you fall asleep.
This audio technology has a tendency to be able to get you
to stay in that for a 15 minute period of time.
And then while that's happening,the stories then contain, they
interact with each other and form positive messages for
(27:14):
changing the way you think, the way you feel, the way you sense
and the way you behave. You won't notice many of them,
but that doesn't mean you haven't processed.
So you get the value of the information in a very unique
way. Plus you get to manage your
stress really well, no pun intended there.
(27:36):
See, everybody, anybody wants todo stress management, OK, And
everything they typically want to do meditation, that yoga and
all those things, all of those things that you want to, those
are really useful things, but will you sustain doing them?
This does it for you in terms ofaltering your consciousness.
So you go through all the brain wave states, beta and then
(27:58):
alpha, the relaxation part of this, then Theta, which is that
in between hypnagogic state. And then obviously afterwards,
hopefully doing all of this stuff will help you sleep
better. And that's delta.
So this kind of covers all the brain waves in a way that's,
that's useful. These, these programs are around
for a long time. I, I first started doing it in
(28:19):
the 1980s and they, they sold very well back then.
And now I'm bringing them back in this particular product
because I think it's really useful.
I think it hangs everything together in a way that allows
people to to focus. And you can test it out.
Two weeks doesn't cost you anything if you're interested.
So what are some of the most common lifestyle imbalances that
you see in your practice and howdo they impact stress, mood,
(28:43):
longevity and all those for yourpatients?
People the, the obviously the key stressors are the ones where
marital relationships tend to totend to pop up a lot.
OK. And right now, given the way
things are, there's so much additional stress in work
situations. So stress is now pretty much
(29:05):
over the top for everybody, in addition to just worrying about
the country as a whole, which isa layer nobody ever thought
about was ever going to be there.
But obviously is now everything that we share can be stressful.
I mean, the sense of all of us as humans, the issues being a
parent, that's not easy, right? Being a spouse and understanding
(29:26):
what marriage really is, right? It's, it's different.
It's not about love and happiness.
It's, it's about trust and and appreciation.
If you have those in your marriage, you've got something
really good. All those other, other stuff
that's nice, but trust and appreciation of the variables
that make for a solid relationship.
You don't want to have to worry.And if you don't have to worry,
(29:47):
you appreciate it. That's what I have found.
And we're all more alike than weare different.
So how does stress disrupt our behavioral ecosystem, and what
are some practical strategies for managing it?
Well, obviously the, the, that goes back to the eating,
sleeping, moving thing, right? Exercise is something that's
essential because you're going to burn stuff off, right?
(30:11):
You feel better after and as a consequence of that, you can
make better choices. But the problem is when people
are stressed out, usually they tend to do what they should be
doing less often because they have I don't want to do that
right now. I got I'm just you know what I
mean. So it's you have to be on top of
yourself and watch when that voice in your head tries to con
(30:33):
you out of doing something. You know you should be.
Everybody has a self Conner in their head.
We only will know that voice in the back of Ah, come on, you
don't have to do it today. You can do it.
Come on, What's what's a, what'sgot an extra supply right now?
Doesn't matter. It's all that kind of stuff.
All the self cons. The more you're aware of them,
the more likely slowly over timeyou'll be able to make changes.
(30:54):
But you don't go for perfection.And, and it's a matter of fact,
failure at something sometimes can be a very, very powerful and
useful. If you can rally back and do it
again and succeed, then you havefound out something about your
side. So when it terms comes to the
lifestyle stuff, if you do the right thing, 2/3 to 3/4 of the
(31:16):
time that's going to be successfully.
Don't go for perfection, you're doomed to failure.
How's that? Sounds perfect.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's kind of go back to
the obesity thing a little bit. What are your, what are your,
some of your thoughts on this current obesity crisis?
I mean, I talked to my students.I mean, the statistics in the
(31:37):
last several years have just skyrocketed, particularly after
COVID, but there's a lot more deeper things than just simply
the fact that we went through a pandemic.
What are your thoughts on this current crisis and how it exists
in our country? It's.
Given as we, as we were talking about before, given what we know
about what we should be doing, we have to look at the fact that
(31:59):
right now the lifestyle of most people is doing what we are
doing right now, sitting lookingat a screen right now.
This is a work related thing, OK, But we all know that as we,
we started off with selfie esteem, Everybody, how many
times are they looking at their phone?
(32:19):
How many times are they're checking out what's going on on
Instagram or Facebook or something like that?
So, and that's addictive. And that's what's happening more
than anything else. The, the addiction to screens
limits our movement in addition to a lot of people are working
remotely. So they don't have, they don't
(32:39):
have that everyday kind of movement to go to work.
Nobody thinks about that in terms of losing weight, gaining
weight. We just don't think about it
because it's not part of that. But if you were used to getting
up walking to a subway station, which was 1/2 mile away, right,
and now you're doing that, you're not doing that 3-4 miles
(33:00):
that you were doing every week, 3 or 4 miles over 50 weeks.
It's 150 miles, right? Before you know it, you've
gained seven, 8 lbs without any idea that that's happening.
And that's when it's not just necessarily, that's not an
overeating thing. That's now you're moving less.
So there's so many instances of lifestyle that is making what,
(33:21):
well, these drugs wouldn't be needed if this wasn't happening.
But there's a lot of money to bemade by these drugs and people.
Now, the problem is when young people start thinking about
their life, their responsibilities, their bodies,
and you label something as an illness that licenses a lot of
other things that might happen down the line.
(33:41):
Well, if this is an illness, what about this and this and
this and this? Before you know it, everything
is an illness that we have. Do you guys really think that
that most people's weight gain is an illness or they're stuck
in a bad, bad patterns, right. Right.
Now, it's not that these drugs can't be useful at times.
Yeah, in extreme cases, absolutely, but not at the
routine level. For which they're being used,
(34:02):
Right? Yeah.
I'm one that I have huge issues with this idea that obesity is a
disease. You know, it is a root cause of
a tremendous number of diseases.But I don't find it to be a
disease rather than, you know, asymptom of a broken society and
culture and really just bad habits.
(34:23):
And hopefully people that are listening to this podcast are
doing it while they're exercising and moving rather
than, you know, we've kind of shifted to this video portion of
this, but people are now sittingand watching on the screen.
We don't want. To you know, that's a that's a
great that's a great idea for that riff that that you just
played to to me about if you're going to be watching myself, I'd
(34:45):
really like you to be exercisingwhile you're doing it.
That's that that was brilliant that I never heard that I didn't
hear. I'd never heard anybody say that
before. Who was in your business?
Think about doing what you should be doing and you can do
it while while I'm on air and you can learn and be taking care
of yourself simultaneously. That's a nice synergy.
Can you repeat that statement that you said it was brilliant?
(35:10):
You were brilliant. Thank you.
I appreciate that. Yeah.
Yeah. It's almost like it's it's
almost like we have a desire forhuman connection, but we lack
the desire for human interaction.
And it's crazy. Like even as you were explaining
that, you know, just walking to work or walking to the transit
(35:34):
station or walking to whatever ads, that's, that's exercise
people don't even think about. That's crazy.
Mind blowing. What tip?
What pro tip? What?
What you're saying is absolutelycorrect, and it also is what I
just going to say. When people don't move around a
lot, they interact less. Their ability to interact over
(35:57):
all decreases. So we're basically training
people not to be as interactive and social as they can be
because they're simply not doingit as much.
Therefore the skill set is is going to suffer.
So you brought up a really important point that that lack
of of movement means they're going to interact less because
(36:18):
they're going to be isolated andit's going to affect them in
multiple ways. And which is which is showing
up, starting to show up in the culture?
Well, I think we're going a little negative with this.
Let's let's talk about some success stories.
So can you share a success storyof someone who's transformed
their well-being using the LQ app or the HPP method?
(36:42):
Well, I mean, I've had a lot of people tell me that using well,
the the audio tapes programs to,I mean are, are more they, they
stand out. So people will will say to me,
it's really strange. For instance, I had I remember
going to a workshop and that a that a friend of mine was giving
(37:05):
and he had some of my stuff thathe used in it.
And after people had an opportunity to listen, we asked
for comments and people made some comments about how relaxed
they were and whatever. And right before we closed that
segment, a woman stood up from the back and said she talked
about how relaxed she was and then paused and said, wow,
(37:27):
that's the first time I ever stood up and talked in a group
in my life. So it's, it's interesting
because especially with the audio programs, they're
basically focused on the part ofyou that can process information
outside of awareness. The three minute segments are to
build up your understandings andto keep reinforcing importance,
understandings, ways to go aboutmaking changes, conscious mind
(37:50):
stuff. The other stuff, well equally
important is completely different because it's on the
edges of awareness and most of the time you don't know what's
going on. So putting it all together, I
think everybody wants to put everything together so that they
can see and experience themselves in the best way
possible. Life ain't easy right now and we
all need as much support as we can get and, and strategies.
(38:14):
I mean, there are, there are a lot of great self help products
out there on the market. Use something right, Figure out
something that that you can, that you do and you know helps
you, even if it's just getting you more relaxed for a little
bit of time. That's going to be profound over
time. I'm not the only guy in the loop
here. There's a lot of people who are
who are good. Right.
So is there any particular groupthat is most at risk for serious
(38:36):
health, health problems as you kind of look through the lens of
LQ? Well, I'm into, we've been
talking about it and, and I'm most concerned about because the
longer a pattern sustains itself, the harder it is to
bring most from most of us growing up earlier on in other
decades, weight issues didn't, didn't appear until much later
(38:56):
as people got older and then themetabolism slowed down.
So it's, it's kids. We need to, we need to pay as
much attention as we can and make as many changes as we can.
And we've, we've covered a lot of that, but we there's so many
other things now on the culturallandscape that is dominating our
consciousness that this is not as important as it is.
(39:17):
This won't get as much attentionas the chaos that we're all
consumed by at the moment. But that doesn't mean we can't
talk about it. We need to.
That's what you're doing. That's why you're on the air.
That's right. Yeah.
You guys doing well? Well, thanks.
My pleasure. What key insights from your work
have been most surprising or impactful in the field of
(39:40):
psychology and lifestyle management?
Well, the, the, the one thing that stuck out for me is that
obviously I practice psychotherapy and I've read a
lot of books dealing with various versions of
psychotherapy and I've been to alot of workshops.
And what I came away with after all this time is that, and this
(40:05):
is just my opinion, and I'm surethere'll be a lot of
disagreement. That psychotherapy is less about
the technique and more about thepractitioner that you can find
across the board of all the different kinds of therapies.
They're going to be some people,and every one of them are really
good and some people doing presumably what the latest,
(40:26):
greatest psychotherapy is, and nothing happens worthwhile.
It has to do with who you are and the overall talent you have.
Using words, creating a warm environment, giving emotional
support, all those kinds of things is like so often we get
hooked into labels when it's theinteraction with a particular
(40:46):
person that it's all about. I mean, I was just reading about
this. I was doing some writing
recently. And that appears to be the case
because if you see the evolutionof psychotherapy, you had first
all of the psychoanalytic Freudian things.
And those models changed over time.
And finally we got into behaviorism and it went from
regular, it went to all the all the variations on kinds of
(41:12):
behavior. Cognitive behavior has been
dominating for half a century, but that's changing now.
And there's little doubts about whether it's really any better
than any other therapy. So after a while, human
interaction is the primary vehicle.
Some people are good at it, somepeople not forget the labels
that they have. Which kind of goes back to that
we, we crave that human connection.
(41:34):
We just lack the human interaction.
But I agree with you, I think itis not necessarily about the
techniques. I think it's about the the
person. And I think it's the
personality. Because in your line of work,
you probably are putting individuals which they recognize
that there's a problem, but they're trying to come up with a
solution. And in order to come up with
(41:55):
that solution, they have to openthemselves up and show a level
of vulnerability that they wouldn't normally show with
other people, let alone themselves, because they've
subconsciously buried it. And so I think that by you
showing that that personality ofan individual that they can
(42:16):
trust and they can open up to and, and you're not going to
crush them. I I feel like that would go a
long ways in that line of work. You would.
I was just going to say what youjust said in terms of trust,
because it's it's all built on that.
And I mean, I've heard a lot of stories when people tell me
about people that they've been with and there are times I go to
(42:36):
myself. What did that therapist say to
you? Yeah.
OK. Well, it's what's what's strange
about that this profession is that nobody is ever evaluated
before you. They get into a training
program, psychology, social work.
You yourself, as an individual are not evaluated to whether you
(42:58):
should occupy this role. If you want to do it, you just
do it. You just apply and then you're
there. Does that make any sense?
No. Yeah.
I mean, if you were a dentist and you had a one of your hands
shaking, I don't think they would allow you to be a dentist.
But. Right.
But they don't. That's not the same with the
psychotherapy person, you know, all that kind of stuff.
Nope. Anybody can do it if they get if
(43:19):
they pass the exams and score high and more like this.
No, no, a lot of changes. Well, that's a whole.
That's a whole. Another podcast episode.
That's an. That's an encyclopedia.
Where this stuff right there? That's yeah, that's.
So to be doing all this. You got to be doing it yourself,
right? So what are you doing personally
to age? Well, I most of the time I'm
(43:41):
asleep. By 839 o'clock I used to go to
bed about 10:30, which was stillcool.
But then COVID came and for somereason, and I don't know what
the reason was, I began to go tosleep earlier.
So I get up early, I get up like430, OK, go to bed at 8:30, get
up 4:30, get plenty of sleep. I walk the dog.
She's important. She keeps me healthy, right?
(44:02):
And I work out every morning foran hour.
That's I don't negotiate with myself.
There's no, you're not doing it today.
No, I'm sorry. Unless I'm, I'm really not
feeling well. I have a cold or something.
I will obviously, but other thanthat, I keep doing that and I've
been doing that now for 47 years.
I've got, I've got that one down.
So I feel I have some credibility when it comes to
(44:22):
these things. And because and I and I know how
to eat. I've been, I haven't had a piece
of red meat in 50 years. I, I'm, I'm, I'm careful.
So what can I tell you? That's it, It's easy, right?
No, but I don't negotiate with myself and there's a guy in my
head who keeps trying to talk meout of it.
Like this week I had a lot of things that that were on my mind
(44:44):
and but there was a part of me that said, do you really, really
want to play with those weights today?
Do you really want to? And part no, I don't want to do
that. No, you're doing it.
You're doing sorry. It's non negotiable.
People have to get to that pointwhere it's non negotiable and it
needs you to get to because thatother boys doesn't want to give
up power. It's all about power.
Sounds like David Goggins. He has that same approach.
(45:07):
He was in a different country. And he's like, well, I don't
know the roads so but I need to go on a run.
Maybe I'll just go to the gym. And he had a thought in his head
where he was like, I don't want to run on a treadmill.
And he, he said he caught that thought and he goes, oh, we're
going to have weak mindedness. Not, not in my world.
(45:27):
And he just said he hopped on that treadmill and ran for like
6 1/2 hours on the treadmill just just to say I just to just
to prove a point to himself, Like I will never have a weak
thought. I won't give in to that craving.
I'm not going to, I'm not going to do it like it's he's just
dedicated his life to being a different person.
(45:51):
Hopefully somebody will a. Handful of people out there will
have be thinking about these issues slightly differently if
all of us banging around today, you know what I mean?
I think there's there was enoughthat if they if it if people
take one or if they take one thing away from our talk, that's
good 2 that's ideal, right Because even if people are
(46:11):
watching right now and thinking,oh, there's so much there, you
go back to your world and very quickly you start fading on what
you just happened because yeah, you got to go back into the
world and do what you have to do.
But hopefully as a consequence of our talking, people will pick
up a few few things and improve the quality of their life.
That's that's what you guys are trying to do right, right.
(46:31):
Make sure day in and day out, make sure people improve the
quality of their life, which is a which is nice.
You guys do well, so in in case they don't.
Pick it up. What are three simple,
functionable steps our listenerscan take today to start
improving their lifestyle intelligence?
Which would be the easiest? Change to make.
(46:53):
First, just do one thing right, whether that's changing what you
eat at dinner in terms of content or quantity, is it
increase the amount of workouts you do by one day a week.
And if that means if you're not doing anything, do it one day
and build on that. Those kinds of things.
(47:14):
Don't say to yourself, OK, as a consequence of this, I got to
change everything because if yousay that to yourself, you're
doomed to failure. And that's the last thing we
want to have happen. Make these changes
incrementally, so as one gets installed, there's a new one to
take its place as the upfront thing to focus on.
(47:34):
So after a while, maybe a coupleof months, you've got everything
happening most of the time. But remember, failing a little
bit but being able to bounce back from it, that's essential.
So we don't want perfection because that's doomed to
failure. So that's what I would say.
Begin notice it's not going to be easy.
You're going to have days where you're not going to want to do
(47:54):
anything. Bounce back from that and you
find Armstrong. That sounds like.
Baby steps? That sounds like baby steps.
Is that is that one of your themes?
Yeah, one of my favorite. Movies that I've used in class
before is what about Bob, You know, with Richard Dreyfuss as
the psychologist. Oh, what's his name?
Leo Marvin. Shouldn't forget that name
(48:16):
because Doctor. Doctor Marvin.
Doctor Leo Marvin with Bill Murray, great movie, but it it
really talk. It really underscores that idea
of just the small baby steps, you know, little thing every day
can work us toward, you know, some pretty dramatic changes in
behavior. Be prepared.
For that old voice to come back and actually it's important
(48:39):
because you have to learn how todeal with it, right?
This is because this is. We don't want the New Year's
resolution theme to be what happens because we all know the
what did you say is this is going to be my new use
resolution. You know, you do with a failure,
which people are making the samething over and over again.
No, no, don't, don't do a New Year's resolution.
I tell people don't do that. That's useless.
(49:00):
Don't do it. You want to make a change, do it
at other times. Don't do the New Year's
resolution and bullshit yourself.
Yeah, I always say every moment.Is the time to make the change.
You know it's where you at in this moment.
Why you have to wait till January 1st to change a
behavior? Because like January 2nd, now
you got to wait a whole 364 daysbefore you change of behavior.
(49:21):
Do it now. There's no need for resolutions
at all. But is there anything we've
missed? We've covered a lot today.
Is there anything else we missedto talk about?
I pretty much think. We did it and I thoroughly
enjoyed it. You guys are good.
This is going to be a good podcast for people to.
Exercise to get on that treadmill whether you want to
walk on the treadmill or walk outside, put those headphones on
(49:41):
and listen to this, not watch itand keep moving yeah, I
appreciate being and. Having the opportunity to be on
meeting both of you, delightful Dr. Gloverman before we head
out. How can our guests learn more
about you and your methods? Is there a website, social
media? How can they connect with you
lifestyle? Intelligence L q.com and they
(50:06):
will be all about how that app is set up.
There's a short video of me talking about it and from there
you can find out any information.
Then Lifestyle Intelligence LQ and we'll include a link to that
in. The description note so that as
they get off that treadmill, they can click the link and go
to Yeah. And not spend too much time
(50:27):
sitting at the computer processing it and doing all
that. Just get that information and
run with it, literally. OK All right.
Well, this has been a fascinating conversation.
I've learned a lot. Look forward to kind of diving
into the app a little bit more, probably some personal
applications that I can apply inmy own life with it.
So I really just appreciate yourtime today.
(50:49):
I love what you're doing. Just keep doing it and just keep
aging well. I thank you.
Very much this has been a delight and I wish my entire
life was as good as this. Was this the last hour?
This was good. Completely enjoyable,
intelligent, nice people and that's what else needs to be.
Take good care. Thanks.
Thank you for listening. I hope you benefited.
(51:11):
From today's podcast and until next time, keep aging well.
In this episode of the Aging Wall Podcast, we welcome Doctor
Lloyd Glauberman, an expert in lifestyle management, in a
science of timing and rhythm in our behavioral ecosystems.
Dr. Glauberman is a clinical psychotherapist, innovator, and
founder of Lifestyle Intelligence.
With over 25 years in private practice in New York City, he
has dedicated his career to helping individuals reshape
(00:26):
their habits and adopt A healthier lifestyle.
Doctor Glauberman will share insights on how harmonizing 3
core elements, eating, moving, and sleeping can improve stress
management, facilitate behavioral change, and enhance
overall well-being. Join us as we explore how
optimizing these daily rhythms can help combat anxiety, mood
(00:46):
disorders, and contribute to Aging well.
So, Doctor Glauberman, welcome to the Aging Well podcast.
Let's begin by having you tell us a little bit about yourself
and what inspired you to focus on lifestyle management and the
role of timing and rhythm and behavior.
Well, I've been around for a while.
I grew up in, I was born in 47. So I grew up in the 50s and the
(01:09):
60s. And during that period of time,
everybody was blind, deaf and dumb to these issues.
They didn't exist. Nutrition meant you had enough
to eat, exercise with something you did in gym and sleep with
something that you did so you didn't have to take a nap in the
afternoon. That was the totality of
understanding of those issues atthe time.
(01:30):
And I lived my life as a kid whowas very, very active.
I was a little bit overweight and that kind of thing.
And so I, I grew up and as I didand, and the world began to
change, I began to change as well.
And I noticed that after gettingsome feedback from some people
that I wasn't taking very good care of myself.
(01:50):
So all of this began with me, with somebody basically
insulting me and got me to beginthinking about these issues
personally. OK then as everything evolved in
the culture, I became aware of patterns that obviously were
were happening and people neededto pay more attention to right
(02:13):
having to do with how important lifestyle is, how the eating,
sleeping, moving the self-care portion of our lives was
critically important. Especially sleep, which for me
is the linchpin of everything. And I remember back in the time
when I was attempting to be a, a, a rock'n'roll star, which
(02:35):
obviously didn't work very well.I remember not getting very much
sleep because I was working a day job in a mental hospital.
And then at night I was playing and I was getting sick,
including getting a, a case of the flu that I'd never had
before. And I was in bed for for a week.
I didn't put two things togetheruntil much later I realized, OK,
sleep is essential for a varietyof reasons, not the least of
(02:57):
which is the one that it that itis least spoken about.
The one issue that's critical that needs to be addressed when
sleep is involved is weight. Because most of the time when
people think about sleep, they think about OK, yeah, it's real
important to clean your brain. We know that.
It's real important for cognitive functioning.
We know that those are obviouslybig ticket over the top kinds of
(03:21):
reasons why you need sleep. But in addition to the quieter
problem with that is your appetite gets amped up, right?
That's what happens, why you're awake more, your brain needs
more energy. So it basically creates
artificial hunger. And this isn't the kind of
people just overeating because they're overeating and sloppy
and stupid. No, this is real hunger as you
(03:45):
perceive it. So what happens?
You're sleep deprived, you eat more and then you start gaining
weight. When then when you couple that
with the overall lifestyle that most people have today, which is
looking at a screen, being completely immobile and not
paying attention to anything happening inside their head and
(04:06):
body because they're so drunk onthe screen and the information
they're trying to create by thatkind of a lifestyle to, to use
to adding a little humor. When I grew up, there actually
was something called self esteem.
It was built on the way you perceived yourself based on your
interactions with the world, right?
Self esteem doesn't exist anymore.
(04:28):
It's been replaced by selfie esteem, the artificial self
created as you go about the business of navigating through
all the apps and all the things that you do to let people know
who you are, what you do, and what you're thinking at every
moment in time. So from that, everything that
I've just said, you can kind of get a sense of who I am and what
I do and how I think. But there is nothing more
(04:50):
important than lifestyle intelligence.
Nothing because it's the foundation for everything else.
Just noted. There they go.
That's everything I know all. Right, that was a 5 minute
podcast. Yeah, yeah.
But I mean, things are so important right now, right?
For varieties of reasons. But the idea of people paying
more attention to themselves is essential.
(05:13):
And it's hard to do when everything tends to make it
difficult, especially for the critically important kids.
Older kids go to high school. I think we've got something
where we 1213 million public high school kids.
Do you know what time they have to get there?
Most of them average high schoolstart time.
Probably 8:00 or 8:30 I would imagine. 8:00 You're right on
(05:34):
the money. OK, now I.
Have teenagers. What?
What time do these kids go to sleep?
If it's my daughter, I don't know because I'm in bed for
probably 4 hours before she goesto sleep.
I think for her she stays up. Yeah, it's usually well after
12. Right.
And what time does she get up? I usually get her up about 6:45.
OK, so she's a little bit short sleep, right?
(05:57):
So all of those things begin to take place.
And, and that, that's why this, these issues are so important
because younger people, kids, high school kids, college kids,
all the diseases that are that we, we, we think about having to
do with time, heart disease and all that kind of stuff that's
starting much earlier now. So you're going to see more and
(06:19):
more cases of blocked arteries, kids early 20s, mid 20s, if they
continue doing what they're doing.
And at this point in time, there's no, there's nothing to
suggest anything is going to be changing because when money's
involved, and that's why kids going to have to go to school
earlier. If there's always having to do
with, it's going to cost more money to get kids later because
(06:40):
things have to be reorganized. And whenever money's involved,
we know what happens. Follow the money.
So unfortunately, that's the dilemma that we're in right now.
Yeah, I love this. A lot of.
Problems and then, but lifestyleis singularly the most
important. I love that the schools say that
the reason is because the kids need more sleep.
And it's like, it's such nonsense.
(07:01):
Yeah, that's, you know, we started at 8:30, you know, it's.
But then they have school activities and things like that
to keep them later. And it's just there's no sense
to how they schedule things. No, and kids don't care because
kids live forever. And when we all remember being
young, right, we're going to. We will definitely be here
forever. We're young, we're strong, we're
having fun, and we're 18 years old.
(07:23):
Sky's the limit. Wow, does that close quickly?
Really quickly. I feel like we're just kind of
scratching the surface here, butI think we should really dive
deeper in this subject. Would you, could you, could you
explain with a little bit more depth the interaction of Yeah,
(07:45):
could you explain with a little bit more depth on how the
interaction of eating, moving and sleeping will influence our
mental and physical health? OK, well, to begin with, to, to
use the the traditional model, when you sleep enough
cognitively, you perform better,your thinking is clearer, you
have more mental energy, you canfocus more easily.
(08:09):
OK, In addition to that, if you get enough sleep emotionally,
you're going to find yourself a little bit more stable.
Sleep deprivation tends to get people edgier.
So there's more conflict, there's there's more anger.
I'm not sure what what the mechanisms are in the brain
which causes that, but clearly sleep deprivation gets people
(08:32):
ishier and obviously you're not going to have as much physical
energy, so you're not going to move much.
So all of that gets disrupted. In addition, the average person,
when it comes to the quality of food that they eat, given all
the information that that's available today, you would think
that more people would tend to make better choices for what
(08:55):
they have, what they put in their body, right?
Does that happen? I don't think that happens that
that much. People tend to want to eat what
they eat and, and, and since they're so distracted by other
things, they don't pay much attention.
I mean, look, look at the TV commercials for food.
Have you ever seen a bigger hamburger in your life or a
(09:16):
cheeseburger that comes right atthe screen, right?
It looks, it looks like a spare tire that it looks like the size
of a spare tire. And, and people don't pay
attention to what quality means in terms of nutrition and what's
needed for all that other kind of thing.
So and, and movement, we, we allknow exactly what happens when
you don't move enough in terms of your body and your brain.
(09:40):
Things just happen much more quickly, but you get distracted
very easily. Hence, unless something is done
on on a on a on a bigger scale, unless schools begin to
incorporate these ideas into early childhood education, I
don't see this changing anytime soon.
(10:03):
Because the earlier that you intervene, obviously, the more
likely it is that children are going to be able to adapt to
this and start healthy patterns,right?
How difficult would it be to weave proper nutrition, movement
and sleep into stories that children read when they're in
elementary school? So the rhythm of these ideas
(10:25):
gets installed because they hearthem over and over again, right?
Same with early mathematics, right?
You can put labels on the numbers, like how many steps did
we walk today? OK, in the morning, we walked
300 steps in the afternoon, put labels on these things.
So all of these concepts are part of cognitive activity early
(10:47):
on. And kids will at least have the
opportunity to have this in their head, right?
I don't know any educational publisher that is involved with
this at all because it would be well known by now.
It would be a great story. This publisher was doing stuff
that's really useful for kids, early childhood education.
But I don't I don't know if anybody's doing it.
I. Think we'd also have to have a
lot of teachers and professors that are not only teaching it,
(11:11):
but actually practicing what they're teaching as well.
And from personal experience getting educated in the public
school system. I don't know if that's, I don't
know if a lot of teachers who were.
Practicing it. In other words, they're not
going to be on the way you want to see them.
Yeah. Exactly.
(11:32):
It's kind of like going to a hypnotist to stop smoking and
you'd find out he smokes. I mean, that would be that kind
of thing. Yeah.
But it's we're dealing, we're dealing with serious business
right now. And this foundational triad of
eating, sleeping, moving is the cornerstone for everything.
It doesn't mean everything's going to go well, but at least
(11:53):
it puts you in a position where you can hopefully make the best
choices for yourself. And you can get, no pun
intended, quality feedback. I'm glad Corbin went to the
public schools instead of his university training because I
was his professor and undergrad.And so if he had gone to the
college professors, I would havebeen all over him because I do
(12:14):
try and model those things. You know, we do try and model
sleep and exercise and proper eating and all that.
And it is something that even ifwe're doing it right, you know,
we can have challenges with it. I mean, I'm, I am challenged
right now with sleep. I get to bed at a regular time.
I have good sleep hygiene, but I'm still trying to figure out
why are there some nights that Idon't get good restorative
(12:36):
sleep? So what are some of the other
common disruptions that could affect this balance?
And ultimately, how do they affect our stress and our mood
disorders? Well, what you, the word that
you just said, stress is, is critically important.
The problem is, are we sensitiveenough to what's happening in
our lives so we can pinpoint those little changes that are
(12:59):
occurring that are poking at us but we're not paying any
attention to? Because the way our culture is
set up and the way our lives areset up, there's so many
distractions that people have a tendency not to suddenly
realize. Oh, that's really bothering me.
It means you have to be honest with yourself.
And it's like, oh, that set of circumstances I have to deal
with, but I haven't. And then you go back to your
(13:23):
daily routine, but that hasn't been dealt with.
What happens? You overeat, right?
You get into an argument with somebody, you're less likely to
go to the gym. So there's a certain amount of
self-awareness. So if you, if you build a model
that says, OK, what typically happens when I'm upset about
something? What can I sense that's
differently? Where can I sense it?
(13:45):
Is it subtly in my when, when I'm working with somebody, the
first thing I, I mean, people come into my office, they sit
down and when I know them after a little bit of time, you can
you can see stress on their faceimmediately before they say,
before you, they utter a word, I'll say, what's wrong?
They'll say, what do you mean what's wrong?
I'll say something's wrong. And they say, oh, oh, Oh, yeah,
(14:07):
yeah, there is something wrong. So often people get so
distracted because there's so much noise in their in their
ecosystem. They don't pay enough attention
to so little conflicts that theymight be happening.
The anxiety about something that's upcoming that they didn't
anticipate they have to be involved with, or they did or
said something to somebody they're upset with and they
(14:29):
should be apologizing and they're not.
So what happens, what happens when you're when you're anxious?
What's the what's the typical emotional response when you're
anxious? All right, that's a that's a
difficult question. I'm sorry.
It's the same. It's the same as what happens
when you're guilty. You get angry because guilt is
other than shame than shame doesn't happen that often.
(14:50):
For most people, guilt is the worst feeling you can have.
So how do you get rid of it? You get angry and you distract
yourself from the responsibilityof doing what you have to do to
clean up the mess that you make.If you don't, what happens is
you get angry and you'll probably be eating.
So there are all these little subtleties that happen to people
that they need to pay attention to.
(15:11):
Pause. Ask yourself what's happened in
the last 24 to 48 hours that hasme upset.
And if you act as your own therapist, you might be able to
come up with, oh, yeah, that's the that's why I'm having
trouble sleeping. I haven't finished that or I
haven't started that, or I owe somebody that apology that I
didn't apologize when I should have.
Those little subtle nuances. Because our lives are so full of
(15:35):
stuff, so full of input in termsof the everyday stuff, plus the
stuff you're online where you have so much noise in your head,
you have a hard time listening to yourself.
But it can be done. But it takes time and focus.
And the world we live in today doesn't give you much time and
focus time for yourself. But ask yourself what's
different now that I'm feeling this way?
(15:56):
My guess is you'll probably be able to find it.
And then what do you do with it?But if you do it once, then
you've got a model, and that's a, that's a good start to be
able to handle stuff. By the way, as I was talking,
were you thinking about episodesin your life that fit what I
just said? Probably, yeah.
Because it looked, it looked that way.
It looked like you were going, hmm, does that fit?
(16:18):
Oh, maybe right. And that's what your faces look
like that had that maybe look. And that's my job as a therapist
is to read faces like that. So there you go.
You didn't expect that, did you?No, no, can't hide anything from
a therapist. Well, that depends.
That depends. Yeah, it's almost like, it's
(16:40):
almost like we're having an internal fight or flight when
we're under that level of stress.
And even though it's internal, there's an external expression,
right? Almost like a defense mechanism
where maybe consciously we're unaware of it, but
subconsciously we're saying, I, I don't like this.
And so we're reacting in that way.
(17:01):
Is that safe to say? Absolutely.
That's background. Absolutely.
Yeah, we are complex beings. We're kind of, I mean, our
existence is, I mean, every so often, just as we pause and
think about our existence and how we are the universe that has
recreated itself, right? So it literally like started in
(17:21):
the same kind of metaphor of TheBig Bang, right, Where sperm
meets egg and the whole thing issilently explodes.
And the next thing we went from that one cell to 35 1/2 trillion
cells. Our existence is really strange.
We are the universe. We don't know a whole lot about
it, but we are. So what led you to develop the
concept of lifestyle intelligence, and how does it
(17:45):
differ from other Wellness approaches?
Well, it doesn't differ in termsof when you get down to the
nitty gritty of what's going on.It's different just conceptually
in terms of how it's organized. And I think it's easy to
understand when it's organized as a as an intelligence.
So if it wasn't for three psychologists, you and I, we're
(18:05):
not talking. And that that is Dan Goldman,
who made emotional intelligence famous, and the two
psychologists who got the idea from Peter Sullivan and John
Mayer, who wrote a couple of articles in psychology journals
about emotional intelligence. And Goldman, who had a huge
audience because he used to write for the New York Times.
(18:27):
So he wrote that book. He made that.
He made EQ and intelligence. So now we had two intelligences,
IQ and EQ, and it made and and making all of those emotional
issues as an intelligence, it gave it more gravitas, more
important, because now it was anintelligence and now it's all
over the place. It's part of the culture.
(18:47):
People don't realize this was until I think of the early 1990s
when his book was published thatpeople even knew what the
concept was. Now it seems like it was always
here. So when I was looking at that
lifestyle stuff, I said, does lifestyle fit that model?
Should it be considered an intelligence?
Well, we were born with it. We were born with that
knowledge. You don't.
(19:08):
Infants don't say to themselves,am I full?
Am I still hungry? No, they stopped.
When they're sleepy, they fall asleep.
And have you ever seen a kid notmove when he wanted to move?
Right. Those three things were wired
into us and understood. But due to the power of the
hypnotic power of culture and family, those sensory
(19:31):
experiences disappeared because we sat at the table and watched
what mommy told us what we were supposed to eat.
I mean, I grew up in the 50s. I mean, come on.
I used to eat on the average meat twice a day.
You know, I'd come home from school at 3:30.
My mom said my mom was your typical stay at home mom, right?
And she was a wonderful woman, but she she didn't know anything
(19:52):
and she was happy when I was eating because it made her feel
she was a good mom. I come home from school.
What do you want to eat? I'll have a salami sandwich
that's at 33630. Is dinner.
Am I hungry? Of course not.
Did I eat? Of course, why it's dinner time.
So that kind of family hypnosis and cultural hypnosis was part
of my lifestyle growing up. So I had, I was, I was clueless
(20:14):
until I had an incident where somebody made reference to my
size. So I, I went through the entire
process when I in 1969, I drove by my high school.
I graduated from this high school in 1965.
I drove by the high school and Isaw a guy running around the
track 1969 and I said to myself,what in the world was that?
(20:36):
Is that idiot doing? Seriously?
I mean, today who says anything other than, oh, there's a guy
who takes good care of himself and I'm labeling this this guy
as an idiot? Little did I know that I would
be doing that a lot in the coming years, but it would like
be six or seven years till all of that stuff hit, which was in
the in the 70s and and obviouslythe 80's.
(20:58):
The irony is all of the information that was never
available to people from my generation is available now,
right? All the health information,
everything we need is right there.
But what's happening, things have gotten worse.
So information in and of itself is not going to do it.
It's how it's packaged, when it's packaged, to whom it's
(21:21):
packaged. This culture has a lot of work
to do in addition to the chaos that's obviously happening
independent of taking care of yourself.
But by the way, that's not goingto be helping All of that stress
that's now in the culture is is going to partially manifest
itself in in really bad ways as people traffic.
That's a different issue altogether.
That's not why I'm here talking politics.
(21:42):
And it's interesting, you know, in the 60s, early 70s, when you
were younger, you were the oddity being that the fat kid,
right? Whereas now it's the norm.
And yeah, we have all that information.
I didn't get heavy until I graduated from college, right?
Little by little by little by little, incrementally.
(22:03):
So this happened as a consequence of the normal
evolution. But then my wife and I moved to
California for a couple of years, where obviously you're in
a car and you never move around,right?
And I gained weight without knowing it.
And I had a friend come visit methat I hadn't seen in seven
years. He heard I was living in
California. Say, hey, Lloyd, now it's come
on over. I said, let's have dinner.
(22:24):
I open the door. The first thing he says to me
is, Gee, man, did you get fat? So that moment in time changed
the trajectory of my life forever.
And it had nothing to do with health.
It had to do with change. I was embarrassed.
And I didn't know anything abouthealth back then other than
whatever I'm doing now. Ain't a good ain't good.
So like stop drinking soda. You know, the, the kind of
(22:46):
obvious things and slowly but surely, and here we are.
I didn't stop. That was it.
I was going to. And I and the one thing that you
find out when you make changes every day, you've got to do it.
This is an every day thing, right?
One of the problems that's nevertalked about with people losing
weight successfully is when they're successful.
(23:09):
That becomes a very difficult moment because now the journey
is over. You're there, so now you have to
cope with being there because all you're thinking about before
was OK, it's time to lose another 10 lbs.
It's time to do this. It's time to do that now.
(23:30):
It's not about getting there, it's about staying there.
Completely different psychology.That's why so many people have
problems at the end, just because all of that energy, they
have to have a new model of reality.
And the reality is it's now it'sjust every day I've got to
sustain what I've achieved. That's a totally different
thought pattern. Not a lot of people, a lot of
people have trouble with that because it's once you're there
(23:53):
doesn't mean you're there that'sOK, but you don't have that
model in your head. The timeline, the movement that
stopped you got there, congratulations.
Now the hard part, you have to stay there because we all know
lots of people who've gotten there and then didn't starting
over again. OK, that one I know, right?
(24:14):
If that's in our head, that movement, but then pause, pause.
Oh, this is different there you go.
I've talked to a lot of people, so that's one of the storylines.
Not everybody, but yeah, some people do it.
It's a difficult thing, as evidenced by we now have
medication and we have illness, right?
(24:35):
We have weight gain is what? Where did that come from?
As a Deep Throat said in all, the president's men followed the
money, right? Yeah.
And so you developed the LQ app,right, as a guide for users to
be able to make those more sustainable lifestyle
improvement. So how does that work?
(24:55):
OK. The app is divided into two
parts. The first part is the focused
conscious mind educational part.I show up every day for three
minutes. During that 3 minutes of time, I
focus on one particular issue, like what I just talked about in
terms of the difference between getting there and staying there.
All of the different issues, I come at them from different
(25:17):
perspectives. So every time I talk to you, it
may be the same piece of information, but it's done in a
different kind of way. OK, so that allows for ongoing
repetition. I'm there.
This is important. Repetition is really important
to keep you going. So there is those 3 minute
segments. Then as a secondary component, I
(25:39):
have an audio technology I developed a while back and it's
called hypno peripheral processing and is obviously a
variation on hypnosis, but very,very different from typical
structural hypnosis as everybodyimagines.
I tell you stories, adult fairy tales, and each 30 minute
segment has three stories, An introductory story of a myth of
(26:04):
the hero Joseph Campbell kind ofthing, of a person with a
problem goes out in the world, meets a magical person or a wise
person, and then they have thesetransactions.
OK, but there's a pause 5 minutes in and then 2 completely
different stories start up simultaneously, one in each ear.
Now that's usually the time whenpeople are listening to me tell
(26:26):
this and they go, how do you follow two stories
simultaneously? It's a legitimate question, and
the answer is I don't want you to.
Everything is told very slowly. I want you drifting away,
because when you drift away, youtend to drift into that magical
space in between waking and sleep.
The hypnagogic state. Now, it's incredibly powerful in
(26:50):
terms of your being able to process information, but you're
only in it very briefly every day as you fall asleep.
This audio technology has a tendency to be able to get you
to stay in that for a 15 minute period of time.
And then while that's happening,the stories then contain, they
interact with each other and form positive messages for
(27:14):
changing the way you think, the way you feel, the way you sense
and the way you behave. You won't notice many of them,
but that doesn't mean you haven't processed.
So you get the value of the information in a very unique
way. Plus you get to manage your
stress really well, no pun intended there.
(27:36):
See, everybody, anybody wants todo stress management, OK, And
everything they typically want to do meditation, that yoga and
all those things, all of those things that you want to, those
are really useful things, but will you sustain doing them?
This does it for you in terms ofaltering your consciousness.
So you go through all the brain wave states, beta and then
(27:58):
alpha, the relaxation part of this, then Theta, which is that
in between hypnagogic state. And then obviously afterwards,
hopefully doing all of this stuff will help you sleep
better. And that's delta.
So this kind of covers all the brain waves in a way that's,
that's useful. These, these programs are around
for a long time. I, I first started doing it in
(28:19):
the 1980s and they, they sold very well back then.
And now I'm bringing them back in this particular product
because I think it's really useful.
I think it hangs everything together in a way that allows
people to to focus. And you can test it out.
Two weeks doesn't cost you anything if you're interested.
So what are some of the most common lifestyle imbalances that
you see in your practice and howdo they impact stress, mood,
(28:43):
longevity and all those for yourpatients?
People the, the obviously the key stressors are the ones where
marital relationships tend to totend to pop up a lot.
OK. And right now, given the way
things are, there's so much additional stress in work
situations. So stress is now pretty much
(29:05):
over the top for everybody, in addition to just worrying about
the country as a whole, which isa layer nobody ever thought
about was ever going to be there.
But obviously is now everything that we share can be stressful.
I mean, the sense of all of us as humans, the issues being a
parent, that's not easy, right? Being a spouse and understanding
(29:26):
what marriage really is, right? It's, it's different.
It's not about love and happiness.
It's, it's about trust and and appreciation.
If you have those in your marriage, you've got something
really good. All those other, other stuff
that's nice, but trust and appreciation of the variables
that make for a solid relationship.
You don't want to have to worry.And if you don't have to worry,
(29:47):
you appreciate it. That's what I have found.
And we're all more alike than weare different.
So how does stress disrupt our behavioral ecosystem, and what
are some practical strategies for managing it?
Well, obviously the, the, that goes back to the eating,
sleeping, moving thing, right? Exercise is something that's
essential because you're going to burn stuff off, right?
(30:11):
You feel better after and as a consequence of that, you can
make better choices. But the problem is when people
are stressed out, usually they tend to do what they should be
doing less often because they have I don't want to do that
right now. I got I'm just you know what I
mean. So it's you have to be on top of
yourself and watch when that voice in your head tries to con
(30:33):
you out of doing something. You know you should be.
Everybody has a self Conner in their head.
We only will know that voice in the back of Ah, come on, you
don't have to do it today. You can do it.
Come on, What's what's a, what'sgot an extra supply right now?
Doesn't matter. It's all that kind of stuff.
All the self cons. The more you're aware of them,
the more likely slowly over timeyou'll be able to make changes.
(30:54):
But you don't go for perfection.And, and it's a matter of fact,
failure at something sometimes can be a very, very powerful and
useful. If you can rally back and do it
again and succeed, then you havefound out something about your
side. So when it terms comes to the
lifestyle stuff, if you do the right thing, 2/3 to 3/4 of the
(31:16):
time that's going to be successfully.
Don't go for perfection, you're doomed to failure.
How's that? Sounds perfect.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's kind of go back to
the obesity thing a little bit. What are your, what are your,
some of your thoughts on this current obesity crisis?
I mean, I talked to my students.I mean, the statistics in the
(31:37):
last several years have just skyrocketed, particularly after
COVID, but there's a lot more deeper things than just simply
the fact that we went through a pandemic.
What are your thoughts on this current crisis and how it exists
in our country? It's.
Given as we, as we were talking about before, given what we know
about what we should be doing, we have to look at the fact that
(31:59):
right now the lifestyle of most people is doing what we are
doing right now, sitting lookingat a screen right now.
This is a work related thing, OK, But we all know that as we,
we started off with selfie esteem, Everybody, how many
times are they looking at their phone?
(32:19):
How many times are they're checking out what's going on on
Instagram or Facebook or something like that?
So, and that's addictive. And that's what's happening more
than anything else. The, the addiction to screens
limits our movement in addition to a lot of people are working
remotely. So they don't have, they don't
(32:39):
have that everyday kind of movement to go to work.
Nobody thinks about that in terms of losing weight, gaining
weight. We just don't think about it
because it's not part of that. But if you were used to getting
up walking to a subway station, which was 1/2 mile away, right,
and now you're doing that, you're not doing that 3-4 miles
(33:00):
that you were doing every week, 3 or 4 miles over 50 weeks.
It's 150 miles, right? Before you know it, you've
gained seven, 8 lbs without any idea that that's happening.
And that's when it's not just necessarily, that's not an
overeating thing. That's now you're moving less.
So there's so many instances of lifestyle that is making what,
(33:21):
well, these drugs wouldn't be needed if this wasn't happening.
But there's a lot of money to bemade by these drugs and people.
Now, the problem is when young people start thinking about
their life, their responsibilities, their bodies,
and you label something as an illness that licenses a lot of
other things that might happen down the line.
(33:41):
Well, if this is an illness, what about this and this and
this and this? Before you know it, everything
is an illness that we have. Do you guys really think that
that most people's weight gain is an illness or they're stuck
in a bad, bad patterns, right. Right.
Now, it's not that these drugs can't be useful at times.
Yeah, in extreme cases, absolutely, but not at the
routine level. For which they're being used,
(34:02):
Right? Yeah.
I'm one that I have huge issues with this idea that obesity is a
disease. You know, it is a root cause of
a tremendous number of diseases.But I don't find it to be a
disease rather than, you know, asymptom of a broken society and
culture and really just bad habits.
(34:23):
And hopefully people that are listening to this podcast are
doing it while they're exercising and moving rather
than, you know, we've kind of shifted to this video portion of
this, but people are now sittingand watching on the screen.
We don't want. To you know, that's a that's a
great that's a great idea for that riff that that you just
played to to me about if you're going to be watching myself, I'd
(34:45):
really like you to be exercisingwhile you're doing it.
That's that that was brilliant that I never heard that I didn't
hear. I'd never heard anybody say that
before. Who was in your business?
Think about doing what you should be doing and you can do
it while while I'm on air and you can learn and be taking care
of yourself simultaneously. That's a nice synergy.
Can you repeat that statement that you said it was brilliant?
(35:10):
You were brilliant. Thank you.
I appreciate that. Yeah.
Yeah. It's almost like it's it's
almost like we have a desire forhuman connection, but we lack
the desire for human interaction.
And it's crazy. Like even as you were explaining
that, you know, just walking to work or walking to the transit
(35:34):
station or walking to whatever ads, that's, that's exercise
people don't even think about. That's crazy.
Mind blowing. What tip?
What pro tip? What?
What you're saying is absolutelycorrect, and it also is what I
just going to say. When people don't move around a
lot, they interact less. Their ability to interact over
(35:57):
all decreases. So we're basically training
people not to be as interactive and social as they can be
because they're simply not doingit as much.
Therefore the skill set is is going to suffer.
So you brought up a really important point that that lack
of of movement means they're going to interact less because
(36:18):
they're going to be isolated andit's going to affect them in
multiple ways. And which is which is showing
up, starting to show up in the culture?
Well, I think we're going a little negative with this.
Let's let's talk about some success stories.
So can you share a success storyof someone who's transformed
their well-being using the LQ app or the HPP method?
(36:42):
Well, I mean, I've had a lot of people tell me that using well,
the the audio tapes programs to,I mean are, are more they, they
stand out. So people will will say to me,
it's really strange. For instance, I had I remember
going to a workshop and that a that a friend of mine was giving
(37:05):
and he had some of my stuff thathe used in it.
And after people had an opportunity to listen, we asked
for comments and people made some comments about how relaxed
they were and whatever. And right before we closed that
segment, a woman stood up from the back and said she talked
about how relaxed she was and then paused and said, wow,
(37:27):
that's the first time I ever stood up and talked in a group
in my life. So it's, it's interesting
because especially with the audio programs, they're
basically focused on the part ofyou that can process information
outside of awareness. The three minute segments are to
build up your understandings andto keep reinforcing importance,
understandings, ways to go aboutmaking changes, conscious mind
(37:50):
stuff. The other stuff, well equally
important is completely different because it's on the
edges of awareness and most of the time you don't know what's
going on. So putting it all together, I
think everybody wants to put everything together so that they
can see and experience themselves in the best way
possible. Life ain't easy right now and we
all need as much support as we can get and, and strategies.
(38:14):
I mean, there are, there are a lot of great self help products
out there on the market. Use something right, Figure out
something that that you can, that you do and you know helps
you, even if it's just getting you more relaxed for a little
bit of time. That's going to be profound over
time. I'm not the only guy in the loop
here. There's a lot of people who are
who are good. Right.
So is there any particular groupthat is most at risk for serious
(38:36):
health, health problems as you kind of look through the lens of
LQ? Well, I'm into, we've been
talking about it and, and I'm most concerned about because the
longer a pattern sustains itself, the harder it is to
bring most from most of us growing up earlier on in other
decades, weight issues didn't, didn't appear until much later
(38:56):
as people got older and then themetabolism slowed down.
So it's, it's kids. We need to, we need to pay as
much attention as we can and make as many changes as we can.
And we've, we've covered a lot of that, but we there's so many
other things now on the culturallandscape that is dominating our
consciousness that this is not as important as it is.
(39:17):
This won't get as much attentionas the chaos that we're all
consumed by at the moment. But that doesn't mean we can't
talk about it. We need to.
That's what you're doing. That's why you're on the air.
That's right. Yeah.
You guys doing well? Well, thanks.
My pleasure. What key insights from your work
have been most surprising or impactful in the field of
(39:40):
psychology and lifestyle management?
Well, the, the, the one thing that stuck out for me is that
obviously I practice psychotherapy and I've read a
lot of books dealing with various versions of
psychotherapy and I've been to alot of workshops.
And what I came away with after all this time is that, and this
(40:05):
is just my opinion, and I'm surethere'll be a lot of
disagreement. That psychotherapy is less about
the technique and more about thepractitioner that you can find
across the board of all the different kinds of therapies.
They're going to be some people,and every one of them are really
good and some people doing presumably what the latest,
(40:26):
greatest psychotherapy is, and nothing happens worthwhile.
It has to do with who you are and the overall talent you have.
Using words, creating a warm environment, giving emotional
support, all those kinds of things is like so often we get
hooked into labels when it's theinteraction with a particular
(40:46):
person that it's all about. I mean, I was just reading about
this. I was doing some writing
recently. And that appears to be the case
because if you see the evolutionof psychotherapy, you had first
all of the psychoanalytic Freudian things.
And those models changed over time.
And finally we got into behaviorism and it went from
regular, it went to all the all the variations on kinds of
(41:12):
behavior. Cognitive behavior has been
dominating for half a century, but that's changing now.
And there's little doubts about whether it's really any better
than any other therapy. So after a while, human
interaction is the primary vehicle.
Some people are good at it, somepeople not forget the labels
that they have. Which kind of goes back to that
we, we crave that human connection.
(41:34):
We just lack the human interaction.
But I agree with you, I think itis not necessarily about the
techniques. I think it's about the the
person. And I think it's the
personality. Because in your line of work,
you probably are putting individuals which they recognize
that there's a problem, but they're trying to come up with a
solution. And in order to come up with
(41:55):
that solution, they have to openthemselves up and show a level
of vulnerability that they wouldn't normally show with
other people, let alone themselves, because they've
subconsciously buried it. And so I think that by you
showing that that personality ofan individual that they can
(42:16):
trust and they can open up to and, and you're not going to
crush them. I I feel like that would go a
long ways in that line of work. You would.
I was just going to say what youjust said in terms of trust,
because it's it's all built on that.
And I mean, I've heard a lot of stories when people tell me
about people that they've been with and there are times I go to
(42:36):
myself. What did that therapist say to
you? Yeah.
OK. Well, it's what's what's strange
about that this profession is that nobody is ever evaluated
before you. They get into a training
program, psychology, social work.
You yourself, as an individual are not evaluated to whether you
(42:58):
should occupy this role. If you want to do it, you just
do it. You just apply and then you're
there. Does that make any sense?
No. Yeah.
I mean, if you were a dentist and you had a one of your hands
shaking, I don't think they would allow you to be a dentist.
But. Right.
But they don't. That's not the same with the
psychotherapy person, you know, all that kind of stuff.
Nope. Anybody can do it if they get if
(43:19):
they pass the exams and score high and more like this.
No, no, a lot of changes. Well, that's a whole.
That's a whole. Another podcast episode.
That's an. That's an encyclopedia.
Where this stuff right there? That's yeah, that's.
So to be doing all this. You got to be doing it yourself,
right? So what are you doing personally
to age? Well, I most of the time I'm
(43:41):
asleep. By 839 o'clock I used to go to
bed about 10:30, which was stillcool.
But then COVID came and for somereason, and I don't know what
the reason was, I began to go tosleep earlier.
So I get up early, I get up like430, OK, go to bed at 8:30, get
up 4:30, get plenty of sleep. I walk the dog.
She's important. She keeps me healthy, right?
(44:02):
And I work out every morning foran hour.
That's I don't negotiate with myself.
There's no, you're not doing it today.
No, I'm sorry. Unless I'm, I'm really not
feeling well. I have a cold or something.
I will obviously, but other thanthat, I keep doing that and I've
been doing that now for 47 years.
I've got, I've got that one down.
So I feel I have some credibility when it comes to
(44:22):
these things. And because and I and I know how
to eat. I've been, I haven't had a piece
of red meat in 50 years. I, I'm, I'm, I'm careful.
So what can I tell you? That's it, It's easy, right?
No, but I don't negotiate with myself and there's a guy in my
head who keeps trying to talk meout of it.
Like this week I had a lot of things that that were on my mind
(44:44):
and but there was a part of me that said, do you really, really
want to play with those weights today?
Do you really want to? And part no, I don't want to do
that. No, you're doing it.
You're doing sorry. It's non negotiable.
People have to get to that pointwhere it's non negotiable and it
needs you to get to because thatother boys doesn't want to give
up power. It's all about power.
Sounds like David Goggins. He has that same approach.
(45:07):
He was in a different country. And he's like, well, I don't
know the roads so but I need to go on a run.
Maybe I'll just go to the gym. And he had a thought in his head
where he was like, I don't want to run on a treadmill.
And he, he said he caught that thought and he goes, oh, we're
going to have weak mindedness. Not, not in my world.
(45:27):
And he just said he hopped on that treadmill and ran for like
6 1/2 hours on the treadmill just just to say I just to just
to prove a point to himself, Like I will never have a weak
thought. I won't give in to that craving.
I'm not going to, I'm not going to do it like it's he's just
dedicated his life to being a different person.
(45:51):
Hopefully somebody will a. Handful of people out there will
have be thinking about these issues slightly differently if
all of us banging around today, you know what I mean?
I think there's there was enoughthat if they if it if people
take one or if they take one thing away from our talk, that's
good 2 that's ideal, right Because even if people are
(46:11):
watching right now and thinking,oh, there's so much there, you
go back to your world and very quickly you start fading on what
you just happened because yeah, you got to go back into the
world and do what you have to do.
But hopefully as a consequence of our talking, people will pick
up a few few things and improve the quality of their life.
That's that's what you guys are trying to do right, right.
(46:31):
Make sure day in and day out, make sure people improve the
quality of their life, which is a which is nice.
You guys do well, so in in case they don't.
Pick it up. What are three simple,
functionable steps our listenerscan take today to start
improving their lifestyle intelligence?
Which would be the easiest? Change to make.
(46:53):
First, just do one thing right, whether that's changing what you
eat at dinner in terms of content or quantity, is it
increase the amount of workouts you do by one day a week.
And if that means if you're not doing anything, do it one day
and build on that. Those kinds of things.
(47:14):
Don't say to yourself, OK, as a consequence of this, I got to
change everything because if yousay that to yourself, you're
doomed to failure. And that's the last thing we
want to have happen. Make these changes
incrementally, so as one gets installed, there's a new one to
take its place as the upfront thing to focus on.
(47:34):
So after a while, maybe a coupleof months, you've got everything
happening most of the time. But remember, failing a little
bit but being able to bounce back from it, that's essential.
So we don't want perfection because that's doomed to
failure. So that's what I would say.
Begin notice it's not going to be easy.
You're going to have days where you're not going to want to do
(47:54):
anything. Bounce back from that and you
find Armstrong. That sounds like.
Baby steps? That sounds like baby steps.
Is that is that one of your themes?
Yeah, one of my favorite. Movies that I've used in class
before is what about Bob, You know, with Richard Dreyfuss as
the psychologist. Oh, what's his name?
Leo Marvin. Shouldn't forget that name
(48:16):
because Doctor. Doctor Marvin.
Doctor Leo Marvin with Bill Murray, great movie, but it it
really talk. It really underscores that idea
of just the small baby steps, you know, little thing every day
can work us toward, you know, some pretty dramatic changes in
behavior. Be prepared.
For that old voice to come back and actually it's important
(48:39):
because you have to learn how todeal with it, right?
This is because this is. We don't want the New Year's
resolution theme to be what happens because we all know the
what did you say is this is going to be my new use
resolution. You know, you do with a failure,
which people are making the samething over and over again.
No, no, don't, don't do a New Year's resolution.
I tell people don't do that. That's useless.
(49:00):
Don't do it. You want to make a change, do it
at other times. Don't do the New Year's
resolution and bullshit yourself.
Yeah, I always say every moment.Is the time to make the change.
You know it's where you at in this moment.
Why you have to wait till January 1st to change a
behavior? Because like January 2nd, now
you got to wait a whole 364 daysbefore you change of behavior.
(49:21):
Do it now. There's no need for resolutions
at all. But is there anything we've
missed? We've covered a lot today.
Is there anything else we missedto talk about?
I pretty much think. We did it and I thoroughly
enjoyed it. You guys are good.
This is going to be a good podcast for people to.
Exercise to get on that treadmill whether you want to
walk on the treadmill or walk outside, put those headphones on
(49:41):
and listen to this, not watch itand keep moving yeah, I
appreciate being and. Having the opportunity to be on
meeting both of you, delightful Dr. Gloverman before we head
out. How can our guests learn more
about you and your methods? Is there a website, social
media? How can they connect with you
lifestyle? Intelligence L q.com and they
(50:06):
will be all about how that app is set up.
There's a short video of me talking about it and from there
you can find out any information.
Then Lifestyle Intelligence LQ and we'll include a link to that
in. The description note so that as
they get off that treadmill, they can click the link and go
to Yeah. And not spend too much time
(50:27):
sitting at the computer processing it and doing all
that. Just get that information and
run with it, literally. OK All right.
Well, this has been a fascinating conversation.
I've learned a lot. Look forward to kind of diving
into the app a little bit more, probably some personal
applications that I can apply inmy own life with it.
So I really just appreciate yourtime today.
(50:49):
I love what you're doing. Just keep doing it and just keep
aging well. I thank you.
Very much this has been a delight and I wish my entire
life was as good as this. Was this the last hour?
This was good. Completely enjoyable,
intelligent, nice people and that's what else needs to be.
Take good care. Thanks.
Thank you for listening. I hope you benefited.
(51:11):
From today's podcast and until next time, keep aging well.
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