May 1, 2025 • 24 mins
In this episode of The Aging Well Podcast, Dr. Armstrong and Corbin Bruton explore the growing trend of having children later in life, discussing the health benefits, cognitive advantages, financial stability, and the unexpected joys that come with being an older parent. The hosts share personal experiences and insights, emphasizing the importance of preparation and self-care for prospective parents and parents looking to… age well.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:09):
Welcome to the Aging Well podcast.
In this episode, we discuss a topic that challenges
conventional wisdom, the surprising health benefits of
later age pregnancy. While many discussions around
parenting focus on the challenges of having children
later in life, new research suggests that giving birth in
your late 30s, forties, or even beyond may come with unexpected
health advantages for both parents and children.
(00:31):
As someone who became a first time father in my early 40s,
I've experienced first hand how later age parenting shapes
physical health, emotional resilience, and even cognitive
longevity. My Co host Corbin is in his
early 30s and on his own path toparenthood, giving us two
different perspectives on this fascinating topic.
We'll explore findings from recent research studies that
(00:53):
suggests a link between later age and a longer lifespan,
improved brain function, and a lower risk of cognitive decline.
We'll also discuss the social and financial benefits of
waiting to have children, as well as the challenges and
considerations that come with it.
So whether you're a parent thinking about starting a family
or just curious about how age, reproduction, and longevity
(01:14):
intersect, this episode is packed with insights you won't
want to miss. So Corbin, today we're diving
into something that's becoming more common in today's society,
having children later in life. As you know, my wife Pam and I
had our son Liam when we were inour early 40s, and so I've kind
(01:35):
of lived this experience first hand.
And my wife and I, well, you know, we're in our early 30s.
Well, me and my mid 30s, she's in her early 30s.
So while we haven't had kids yet, it's definitely something
that we talk about. So Pam shared an article with me
recently titled The Surprising Health Benefits Linked to Having
a Baby at 35 and older, and it shed some light on some
(01:57):
unexpected advantages to having later age pregnancy.
It's. Interesting that my generation
is trending towards waiting to have kids, yet the common
perception is waiting comes withcertain risks.
And what are some of the key takeaways from this article?
Yeah, that's always been, I mean, that was our concern when
when we were trying to get pregnant when we first got
(02:18):
married, because we got married late.
It was that, you know, there's amuch more increased risk of Down
syndrome and all of these different things that come with
having later pregnancies. And so, yeah, there tends to be
a lot more concerns for individuals who are looking to
start families a little bit later in life.
And apparently it it isn't as concerning as we have kind of
(02:41):
been led to believe. So one of the key takeaways is
that women who give birth later in life may experience increased
longevity, which I think is pretty cool.
And it's not just a speculation.There's scientific research to
support this. Yeah, it really stood out to me.
The article mentions the studieshave found a correlation between
later age, pregnancies and longer telomeres.
(03:03):
For the viewers and listeners who might not be familiar with
telomeres, what are these? Well, telomeres are the
protective caps at the ends of our DNA strands.
Longer the telomeres that tends to be linked with a better
cellular health and even longer health span.
So think of the telomeres as there's little plastic tips on
(03:24):
the shoelaces. I'm kind of reminded of the show
Phineas and Ferb. I don't know if you watched
Phineas and Ferb, that was one of the shows that, you know, the
kids used to watch a lot growingup.
And I actually kind of like the show, but there was 1 episode
where they did this whole song and dance about aglets,
hermaglets. Nobody knows what those little
(03:44):
ends on the shoelaces are called.
We always just kind of, you know, those little tips of the
the shoelaces, they're actually called the aglets for your
information. So when you.
And if you do have kids later, you know, and they ask you what
the end of your shoelace is called, you know, it's an aglet.
But it's also something we can think of when, you know, we're
trying to explain what telomeresare and you know, you think of
(04:05):
when the shoelace tips begin to wear down, the shoelace starts
to fray. Well, the same thing happens in
our cells is the telomere shorten, We begin to age faster.
And so the theory is that pregnancy related hormone
chaining changes can help to preserve these telomeres and
actually lead to a better overall health in the long run.
(04:26):
That was wild. And that's, that's actually a
really good description as well.Hey, Speaking of hormones, the
article also touches on how pregnancy later in life may help
maintain cognitive function. Yeah, I seem to recall that,
though I wasn't pregnant. So a lot of stuff I feel like it
should be relating to me, but itmostly relates to the women.
(04:48):
But yeah, estrogen and progesterone, which tend to
surge in pregnancy, have been shown to have protective effects
on the brain. And so some studies even suggest
that women who become pregnant later in life and have children
later in life have a lower risk of developing dementia or
cognitive decline. So I'm wondering, does this
(05:09):
apply to fathers as well? Did you notice any cognitive
benefits of having Liam? Yeah, I'd like to think so.
Though really, to be honest, allthose sleepless nights and
trying to kind of manage the early months probably balanced
out any brain boost I might havehad.
But really, on a serious note, Ido think that being an older
(05:33):
parent does tend to keep you a little bit more mentally
engaged. You're constantly learning,
problem solving, adapting to your child's needs.
I mean, I think of, you know, kids doing homework and stuff
like that, it's, it's forcing meback into things I learned over
40 years ago. You know, at the time when they
were probably learning, it was probably more like 30 years ago.
(05:53):
But yeah, you get the point thatyou're, you're challenging your
brain a lot more because, you know, your kids learning
calculating. So I got to revisit all the
calculus I learned in college, you know, and stuff like that.
So, you know, what are your thoughts?
I mean, do you, I know you have kids yet, but you know, do you
see how engaging the brain a little bit more because you're
(06:14):
you have kids are going to be challenging.
You have to think on things can actually have a benefit to you.
Totally. I mean, as a, I'm not a parent
yet, but I, I do work with youtha lot and it's a, it's kind of a
different world from when I grewup.
So just kind of staying on top of things and really paying
(06:36):
attention to the non verbals, atleast just to be more social
intelligent, because you can go up to a kid and you can say,
hey, how's it going? They react and then they go into
(07:01):
it. So it's it's like a new way of
thinking and communicating. Plus the technology that they
(07:24):
have is leaps and bounds from even when I was growing up.
And so kind of staying on top ofthat and to not get left behind.
I know that's so I hope that kind of answered your question.
Yeah, I think so. I mean, for me it hasn't.
It's been the technology to a certain extent, but it's, you
(07:46):
know, trying to manage the language and, you know, all the
little acronyms and things like that that my daughter throws at
me. And it's like, you know, we used
to talk in full sentences. Yeah.
You know, when I write a text message out, I I punctuate
because that's how I was raise. You know, when you're
communicating you full sentence,proper punctuation, proper
(08:07):
spelling. I spell check myself and I get
this stuff for my kids. It's like, what the heck is
this? I got to try and think my way
through the text message to try and understand what the heck
they're trying to say to me. Yeah, yeah, it's a the language
is really, it really throws me off because sometimes just being
a millennial, I know millennial slangs, I even know Gen.
(08:30):
X and Boomers slang, but this new generation, they're speaking
English, but they it sounds likeit's a different language
sometimes and it's hard to connect, but it's it's fun.
It's it's fun to do Well parenting at my age is I'm
assuming it's going to be mentally stimulating, but I can
(08:52):
see how it could be especially beneficial later in life when
keeping your brain active is so important.
Yeah. And another interesting point
that the article makes is that children born to older mothers
tend to have fewer behavioral problems, and that might be due
to kind of more increased emotional maturity, patience and
(09:13):
life experience that often comeswith age.
But from my experience though, Idon't know that that's
necessarily the case. You know that that makes sense.
I imagine an older parent might have also more financial
stability which can reduce the stress and create more of a
secure environment for their children.
(09:33):
Yeah, I, you know, I'm mixed on that because then part of it is
the economy has changed so much.And, you know, when I we, we got
a daughter who's preparing for College in another year and
we've looked at how much collegetuition has really gone up.
And, you know, from a financial standpoint, yeah, in theory you
(09:56):
should be more financially stable coming into that point.
But for a lot of parents now there's been a lot of, you know,
financial changes, people, you know, losing jobs later in life,
you know, changing, moving. You know, when Pam and I got
married, you know, economy was actually pretty good.
(10:17):
You know, she did well selling her place in DC as we, you know,
moved out and moved out to Western Michigan.
And, you know, we, we were able to buy pretty good housing
prices. But then, you know, we had a
change and we moved out here wasright at, you know, they bubble,
you know, when everything kind of busted.
And so, you know, we didn't makeas much money kind of selling
(10:40):
the house in Michigan to move out here.
But fortunately we would buy here at a much lower price.
If you look at it now, you know,they the prices of housings of
all them has doubled in the about 16 years we've been here.
And so, yeah, there's greater, Ithink there's overall going to
be greater stability. There's, you know, you're
generally in a career, you know,I think when you're looking at
(11:05):
your 30s forties, that's probably the most financially
secure period of time where as you kind of get into the 50s,
you start working toward retirement.
It may be a little bit more challenging because now, you
know, not only you looking at the expenses of college, but
you're also looking at, OK, if Iretire, I have to manage living
(11:26):
on a lower income plus pay for college.
And so there can be some challenges with it, but I think
overall, our ability to deal with the stresses of finances
tend to be a little bit better as we're older.
We also have a greater likelihood of being a bit more
stable. We should have more savings.
And I think that's one of the key points in there is that, you
(11:48):
know, as people are preparing tohave children a little bit later
in life, they should be preparing for that financial
burden that it will be. And and it's a better
opportunity to be more prepared.Whereas if you're in your 20s,
you know, when my parents were married, you know, they had my
oldest sister at 19, didn't exactly have hadn't finished
college and they didn't have quite the finances that I was
(12:11):
able to have, you know, going into marriage and into having
kids, right? So financial security, you know,
it can make a huge difference inparenting when you're not having
to worry about constantly havingto worry about making ends meet.
You can be a little bit more present and focused on your
child's development. And so it it can be, I think a
(12:33):
reasonably good benefit to beingolder and being more financially
stable as you go to have children.
Yeah. Another thing is when they, when
an individual is having childrenat an older age, they're already
grown as a person. They're already more mature,
(12:54):
right. So for example, my parents had
me at a fairly young age, you know, early, early 20s.
And I think about, man, if I hadkids around the time that they
had me, I might mess those kids up because I myself was figuring
out who I was and I was going through life and trying to
(13:16):
figure out life. And so I think that also plays
a, a role is you, if you just make this decision to have kids
when you're older, you've already figured things out.
Well, for the most part, right? Anyways.
Well, I, I don't know about having things figured out per
SE. You know, life.
(13:36):
I don't think we ever really figure out life.
You know, it is an important discussion to have of, you know,
as you are starting to prepare to have kids, who do you want to
be? Who you becoming?
Are you ready to have kids? And one of the biggest concerns
is that there is a increased risk of complications during
pregnancy. And those can be things like
(13:58):
gestational diabetes, preeclampsia.
And there's also a slightly higher chance, as I mentioned
earlier, of birth defects, you know, Down syndrome and even
just birth defects in general. That's why it's crucial for
women who are considering havingchildren later in life to really
work closely with their doctors.Yeah.
And I imagine that stain and good physical health plays a
(14:20):
major role in managing those risks.
Oh, absolutely. I mean, just thinking of the,
the risk of gestational diabetes, you know, if you are
more fit and active, you're going to have, you know, better
insulin sensitivity. And so, you know, you're less
likely to have gestational diabetes.
And we know that, you know, women who have gestational
(14:42):
diabetes have an increased risk of developing type 2 diabetes
later in life. Being more fit can minimize that
risk to a certain extent. There's, you know, obviously
just being in better muscular shape prepares the muscles for
both carrying the baby as well as delivering the baby, you
know, better cardiovascular health.
(15:03):
All these things can contribute to just a better overall
pregnancy, same as it would for a younger individual.
But if we consider that most individuals aging are declining
somewhat physically, then we have to consider that OK, if we
have declined physically, then that puts at a greater risks
during that pregnancy. And so staying in better shape
(15:26):
leading into the pregnancy is going to be much better for both
mother and the child. And that's where the six pillars
of aging well come in. You know, exercise, healthy
diet, maintaining a healthy bodycomposition, sleep hygiene,
avoiding smoking and purposeful social connection.
These are all crucial factors for a healthy pregnancy and for
(15:47):
staying energized as an as a parent.
I mean not only as a parent, butas a aging individual.
That's great advice, honestly, and that also applies to younger
parents as well. But let's flip the perspective
for a bit. From your experience, what are
some of the unexpected joys of having a child later in life?
(16:08):
That's a really great question. And, and for me, one of the
biggest joys is the level of appreciation I have for
parenting. You know, at 40, I felt much
more present and aware of how precious the experience was.
I also had more life experience.And so it really helped me to
kind of stay patient and keep things in perspective.
(16:30):
To be honest, I, I'm not sure how well I've done that in terms
of, you know, staying patient and keeping all these things in
perspective. But I imagine how much worse I
would have been as a parent if Iwas 20 years younger.
And so all the things that I've screwed up, being a A more
mature parent, I can only imagine that I would have messed
(16:51):
it up a lot worse being a younger parent.
Yeah. And that kind of goes back to
what I was saying earlier about one of the benefits of having
children at A at a later age in life is you yourself have
figured out a lot of things in life.
You figured out who you are, youfigured out how to deal with
your emotions. You figured out all these things
(17:12):
and it's it's cool because you can pass that information on to
your children instead of figuring all that out while
simultaneously raising children as well.
Yeah. So I mean, it's it's great that
we can bring that experience, that wisdom, that knowledge into
(17:33):
parenting that can help us to hopefully be a little bit
better. You know, we, we also have
experienced a lot more, you know, so as I'm dealing with my
kids either going starting into college, planning for college,
or in Liam's case, he's midway through college and trying to
plan careers, I am further alongin the career.
I've made some of the mistakes. It's like, you know, for
(17:55):
example, Liam is considering, you know, he's majoring in
English and literature and I think he's leaning into being a
professor, which kind of like, oh, dude, really?
Is that what you want to do? Did you not learn from my life?
But, you know, so I've at least experienced things.
Whereas, you know, if you're just head starting off on your
(18:15):
career and you have kids, you don't have quite that same level
of experience as they're maturing and going through
because they're not that far removed from where you were in
life. And so, yeah, I think it's, it's
good to have that experience andto be a bit more patient, be
more more perceptive, be a bit more retrospective in terms of
(18:39):
your, your parenting abilities well.
That should also be flattering that he's making that choice to
follow in your footsteps as a dad.
I assume a little bit of you is probably, you know, flattered.
I don't know about that. All right.
Well, regardless, this has really been inspiring here.
And from a longevity standpoint,having kids later might actually
(19:03):
encourage people to take better care of themselves so they can
keep up with their children. Yeah, I'm very competitive, even
with my kids. So having children later in life
kind of gives you a real incentive to stay healthy and
fit because you don't know you want to be there for them as
they grow up and you want to push them to be in shape as
(19:26):
well. And so you want to be that
example to them. You know, for a lot of parents
that are younger, they're kind of becoming grandparents in
their 40s and 50s. And so for them, it's kind of
regaining that fitness so they can keep up with the grandkids,
but they also know that they canhand the grandkids back to the
parents and and go and recover. You know, so they come and visit
(19:50):
for a weekend. They might get exhausted from
playing with the kids for that period of time, but then they go
and relax. As a parent, you don't have that
vacation time. You know, you don't have that
time to hand. I mean, yeah, you can get a few
hours here and there going off on a date night or whatever.
Or you can, you know, go on a vacation without the kids.
My parents did that many times. Pam and I have rarely done it,
(20:13):
but you know is. An older parent, you know, you
need to be in better shape to beable to keep up with these kids.
And it's been incentive for me. I mean, I, you know, I look at,
you know, kids that my kids associate with and their
parents. And, you know, there's a certain
part of me that's like, you know, yeah, I'm 60 now, and I'm
(20:34):
in better shape than these younger parents.
And it is a bit of an incentive to just kind of keep up at it,
keep with it and keep aging wellwith it.
Yeah, that's it. Nailed it.
I think that those words, the whoever's listening to this
think that's pretty encouraging.So for our listeners who might
(20:55):
be considering having children later in life, what is your
advice? Well, my advice would be first
to focus on your health, you know, do your research, make
sure that you have a good support system in place.
And really most important is to trust your instincts.
You know, every family's journeyis going to be different and
there are no right or wrong ways.
(21:17):
There's no single right time to have kids, you know, So plan
when it is best for you. You know, evaluate your life.
Look at where am I financially? Where am I physically?
Where I am I geographically, youknow, is this where I plan to
want to raise kids? You know, maybe you've taken a
(21:38):
job early in life and it takes you to New York City and you're
like, OK, I'm going to work herefor a while, but my goal is to
go somewhere else. And, you know, when I was in my
old was, I was shortly after college.
I was probably in my later 20s. I took a job in New York and I
had no intention of staying in New York.
My goal was to be there about a year or so and then go back.
(22:00):
And then I spent a little bit longer than I anticipated there.
But I don't know that I would have wanted to have raised a
family there. But the plan was always, you
know, I can financially improve my situation and then go and and
start a family. Well said, and for our listeners
who want to dive deeper into this topic, we'll include a link
to the article in our show. Notes Yeah, so I think this has
(22:21):
been a great conversation. I it was surprising to me when
Pam shared the article that, youknow, there are health benefits
that go along with being older parents.
You know, we, we generally tend to focus on the risks, but it
really appears that there is an advantage maybe not to waiting
into the 40s as I did. But you know, looking at, you
know, the trend in society todayto be kind of waiting into early
(22:46):
30s, mid 30s before really starting to have kids instead of
in their 20s is, you know, much of my generation, my parents
generation had done waiting until maybe the latter part of
that, you know, 4th decade of life and have your kids a little
bit later when you're more financially secure in planning
that, you know, plan for your fiscal, your financial fitness,
(23:09):
your physical fitness, but also be focused on your mental health
as well. And I think, you know, giving
out a little another shout out to Jay with the spies.
I think this spies is something that we develop a little bit
more with maturity. And I think that can add to our
ability to be better parents when we are more spiritually,
(23:30):
physically, intellectually, emotionally and socially well
centered. And so those are things to
consider. And, you know, it doesn't matter
when you decide to have kids or whether you decide to have kids.
Some of our listeners might like, I have no desire to have
kids or, you know, we have listeners who maybe for whatever
reasons cannot have children andthat's OK as well.
(23:51):
It's like there's there's no right or wrongs when it comes to
when and whether to have kids. The key is, you know, just
whether you're having kids, not having kids, just keep aging
well. Thank you for listening.
Hope you benefited from today's podcast.
And until next time, keep aging well.
Welcome to the Aging Well podcast.
In this episode, we discuss a topic that challenges
conventional wisdom, the surprising health benefits of
later age pregnancy. While many discussions around
parenting focus on the challenges of having children
later in life, new research suggests that giving birth in
your late 30s, forties, or even beyond may come with unexpected
health advantages for both parents and children.
(00:31):
As someone who became a first time father in my early 40s,
I've experienced first hand how later age parenting shapes
physical health, emotional resilience, and even cognitive
longevity. My Co host Corbin is in his
early 30s and on his own path toparenthood, giving us two
different perspectives on this fascinating topic.
We'll explore findings from recent research studies that
(00:53):
suggests a link between later age and a longer lifespan,
improved brain function, and a lower risk of cognitive decline.
We'll also discuss the social and financial benefits of
waiting to have children, as well as the challenges and
considerations that come with it.
So whether you're a parent thinking about starting a family
or just curious about how age, reproduction, and longevity
(01:14):
intersect, this episode is packed with insights you won't
want to miss. So Corbin, today we're diving
into something that's becoming more common in today's society,
having children later in life. As you know, my wife Pam and I
had our son Liam when we were inour early 40s, and so I've kind
(01:35):
of lived this experience first hand.
And my wife and I, well, you know, we're in our early 30s.
Well, me and my mid 30s, she's in her early 30s.
So while we haven't had kids yet, it's definitely something
that we talk about. So Pam shared an article with me
recently titled The Surprising Health Benefits Linked to Having
a Baby at 35 and older, and it shed some light on some
(01:57):
unexpected advantages to having later age pregnancy.
It's. Interesting that my generation
is trending towards waiting to have kids, yet the common
perception is waiting comes withcertain risks.
And what are some of the key takeaways from this article?
Yeah, that's always been, I mean, that was our concern when
when we were trying to get pregnant when we first got
(02:18):
married, because we got married late.
It was that, you know, there's amuch more increased risk of Down
syndrome and all of these different things that come with
having later pregnancies. And so, yeah, there tends to be
a lot more concerns for individuals who are looking to
start families a little bit later in life.
And apparently it it isn't as concerning as we have kind of
(02:41):
been led to believe. So one of the key takeaways is
that women who give birth later in life may experience increased
longevity, which I think is pretty cool.
And it's not just a speculation.There's scientific research to
support this. Yeah, it really stood out to me.
The article mentions the studieshave found a correlation between
later age, pregnancies and longer telomeres.
(03:03):
For the viewers and listeners who might not be familiar with
telomeres, what are these? Well, telomeres are the
protective caps at the ends of our DNA strands.
Longer the telomeres that tends to be linked with a better
cellular health and even longer health span.
So think of the telomeres as there's little plastic tips on
(03:24):
the shoelaces. I'm kind of reminded of the show
Phineas and Ferb. I don't know if you watched
Phineas and Ferb, that was one of the shows that, you know, the
kids used to watch a lot growingup.
And I actually kind of like the show, but there was 1 episode
where they did this whole song and dance about aglets,
hermaglets. Nobody knows what those little
(03:44):
ends on the shoelaces are called.
We always just kind of, you know, those little tips of the
the shoelaces, they're actually called the aglets for your
information. So when you.
And if you do have kids later, you know, and they ask you what
the end of your shoelace is called, you know, it's an aglet.
But it's also something we can think of when, you know, we're
trying to explain what telomeresare and you know, you think of
(04:05):
when the shoelace tips begin to wear down, the shoelace starts
to fray. Well, the same thing happens in
our cells is the telomere shorten, We begin to age faster.
And so the theory is that pregnancy related hormone
chaining changes can help to preserve these telomeres and
actually lead to a better overall health in the long run.
(04:26):
That was wild. And that's, that's actually a
really good description as well.Hey, Speaking of hormones, the
article also touches on how pregnancy later in life may help
maintain cognitive function. Yeah, I seem to recall that,
though I wasn't pregnant. So a lot of stuff I feel like it
should be relating to me, but itmostly relates to the women.
(04:48):
But yeah, estrogen and progesterone, which tend to
surge in pregnancy, have been shown to have protective effects
on the brain. And so some studies even suggest
that women who become pregnant later in life and have children
later in life have a lower risk of developing dementia or
cognitive decline. So I'm wondering, does this
(05:09):
apply to fathers as well? Did you notice any cognitive
benefits of having Liam? Yeah, I'd like to think so.
Though really, to be honest, allthose sleepless nights and
trying to kind of manage the early months probably balanced
out any brain boost I might havehad.
But really, on a serious note, Ido think that being an older
(05:33):
parent does tend to keep you a little bit more mentally
engaged. You're constantly learning,
problem solving, adapting to your child's needs.
I mean, I think of, you know, kids doing homework and stuff
like that, it's, it's forcing meback into things I learned over
40 years ago. You know, at the time when they
were probably learning, it was probably more like 30 years ago.
(05:53):
But yeah, you get the point thatyou're, you're challenging your
brain a lot more because, you know, your kids learning
calculating. So I got to revisit all the
calculus I learned in college, you know, and stuff like that.
So, you know, what are your thoughts?
I mean, do you, I know you have kids yet, but you know, do you
see how engaging the brain a little bit more because you're
(06:14):
you have kids are going to be challenging.
You have to think on things can actually have a benefit to you.
Totally. I mean, as a, I'm not a parent
yet, but I, I do work with youtha lot and it's a, it's kind of a
different world from when I grewup.
So just kind of staying on top of things and really paying
(06:36):
attention to the non verbals, atleast just to be more social
intelligent, because you can go up to a kid and you can say,
hey, how's it going? They react and then they go into
(07:01):
it. So it's it's like a new way of
thinking and communicating. Plus the technology that they
(07:24):
have is leaps and bounds from even when I was growing up.
And so kind of staying on top ofthat and to not get left behind.
I know that's so I hope that kind of answered your question.
Yeah, I think so. I mean, for me it hasn't.
It's been the technology to a certain extent, but it's, you
(07:46):
know, trying to manage the language and, you know, all the
little acronyms and things like that that my daughter throws at
me. And it's like, you know, we used
to talk in full sentences. Yeah.
You know, when I write a text message out, I I punctuate
because that's how I was raise. You know, when you're
communicating you full sentence,proper punctuation, proper
(08:07):
spelling. I spell check myself and I get
this stuff for my kids. It's like, what the heck is
this? I got to try and think my way
through the text message to try and understand what the heck
they're trying to say to me. Yeah, yeah, it's a the language
is really, it really throws me off because sometimes just being
a millennial, I know millennial slangs, I even know Gen.
(08:30):
X and Boomers slang, but this new generation, they're speaking
English, but they it sounds likeit's a different language
sometimes and it's hard to connect, but it's it's fun.
It's it's fun to do Well parenting at my age is I'm
assuming it's going to be mentally stimulating, but I can
(08:52):
see how it could be especially beneficial later in life when
keeping your brain active is so important.
Yeah. And another interesting point
that the article makes is that children born to older mothers
tend to have fewer behavioral problems, and that might be due
to kind of more increased emotional maturity, patience and
(09:13):
life experience that often comeswith age.
But from my experience though, Idon't know that that's
necessarily the case. You know that that makes sense.
I imagine an older parent might have also more financial
stability which can reduce the stress and create more of a
secure environment for their children.
(09:33):
Yeah, I, you know, I'm mixed on that because then part of it is
the economy has changed so much.And, you know, when I we, we got
a daughter who's preparing for College in another year and
we've looked at how much collegetuition has really gone up.
And, you know, from a financial standpoint, yeah, in theory you
(09:56):
should be more financially stable coming into that point.
But for a lot of parents now there's been a lot of, you know,
financial changes, people, you know, losing jobs later in life,
you know, changing, moving. You know, when Pam and I got
married, you know, economy was actually pretty good.
(10:17):
You know, she did well selling her place in DC as we, you know,
moved out and moved out to Western Michigan.
And, you know, we, we were able to buy pretty good housing
prices. But then, you know, we had a
change and we moved out here wasright at, you know, they bubble,
you know, when everything kind of busted.
And so, you know, we didn't makeas much money kind of selling
(10:40):
the house in Michigan to move out here.
But fortunately we would buy here at a much lower price.
If you look at it now, you know,they the prices of housings of
all them has doubled in the about 16 years we've been here.
And so, yeah, there's greater, Ithink there's overall going to
be greater stability. There's, you know, you're
generally in a career, you know,I think when you're looking at
(11:05):
your 30s forties, that's probably the most financially
secure period of time where as you kind of get into the 50s,
you start working toward retirement.
It may be a little bit more challenging because now, you
know, not only you looking at the expenses of college, but
you're also looking at, OK, if Iretire, I have to manage living
(11:26):
on a lower income plus pay for college.
And so there can be some challenges with it, but I think
overall, our ability to deal with the stresses of finances
tend to be a little bit better as we're older.
We also have a greater likelihood of being a bit more
stable. We should have more savings.
And I think that's one of the key points in there is that, you
(11:48):
know, as people are preparing tohave children a little bit later
in life, they should be preparing for that financial
burden that it will be. And and it's a better
opportunity to be more prepared.Whereas if you're in your 20s,
you know, when my parents were married, you know, they had my
oldest sister at 19, didn't exactly have hadn't finished
college and they didn't have quite the finances that I was
(12:11):
able to have, you know, going into marriage and into having
kids, right? So financial security, you know,
it can make a huge difference inparenting when you're not having
to worry about constantly havingto worry about making ends meet.
You can be a little bit more present and focused on your
child's development. And so it it can be, I think a
(12:33):
reasonably good benefit to beingolder and being more financially
stable as you go to have children.
Yeah. Another thing is when they, when
an individual is having childrenat an older age, they're already
grown as a person. They're already more mature,
(12:54):
right. So for example, my parents had
me at a fairly young age, you know, early, early 20s.
And I think about, man, if I hadkids around the time that they
had me, I might mess those kids up because I myself was figuring
out who I was and I was going through life and trying to
(13:16):
figure out life. And so I think that also plays
a, a role is you, if you just make this decision to have kids
when you're older, you've already figured things out.
Well, for the most part, right? Anyways.
Well, I, I don't know about having things figured out per
SE. You know, life.
(13:36):
I don't think we ever really figure out life.
You know, it is an important discussion to have of, you know,
as you are starting to prepare to have kids, who do you want to
be? Who you becoming?
Are you ready to have kids? And one of the biggest concerns
is that there is a increased risk of complications during
pregnancy. And those can be things like
(13:58):
gestational diabetes, preeclampsia.
And there's also a slightly higher chance, as I mentioned
earlier, of birth defects, you know, Down syndrome and even
just birth defects in general. That's why it's crucial for
women who are considering havingchildren later in life to really
work closely with their doctors.Yeah.
And I imagine that stain and good physical health plays a
(14:20):
major role in managing those risks.
Oh, absolutely. I mean, just thinking of the,
the risk of gestational diabetes, you know, if you are
more fit and active, you're going to have, you know, better
insulin sensitivity. And so, you know, you're less
likely to have gestational diabetes.
And we know that, you know, women who have gestational
(14:42):
diabetes have an increased risk of developing type 2 diabetes
later in life. Being more fit can minimize that
risk to a certain extent. There's, you know, obviously
just being in better muscular shape prepares the muscles for
both carrying the baby as well as delivering the baby, you
know, better cardiovascular health.
(15:03):
All these things can contribute to just a better overall
pregnancy, same as it would for a younger individual.
But if we consider that most individuals aging are declining
somewhat physically, then we have to consider that OK, if we
have declined physically, then that puts at a greater risks
during that pregnancy. And so staying in better shape
(15:26):
leading into the pregnancy is going to be much better for both
mother and the child. And that's where the six pillars
of aging well come in. You know, exercise, healthy
diet, maintaining a healthy bodycomposition, sleep hygiene,
avoiding smoking and purposeful social connection.
These are all crucial factors for a healthy pregnancy and for
(15:47):
staying energized as an as a parent.
I mean not only as a parent, butas a aging individual.
That's great advice, honestly, and that also applies to younger
parents as well. But let's flip the perspective
for a bit. From your experience, what are
some of the unexpected joys of having a child later in life?
(16:08):
That's a really great question. And, and for me, one of the
biggest joys is the level of appreciation I have for
parenting. You know, at 40, I felt much
more present and aware of how precious the experience was.
I also had more life experience.And so it really helped me to
kind of stay patient and keep things in perspective.
(16:30):
To be honest, I, I'm not sure how well I've done that in terms
of, you know, staying patient and keeping all these things in
perspective. But I imagine how much worse I
would have been as a parent if Iwas 20 years younger.
And so all the things that I've screwed up, being a A more
mature parent, I can only imagine that I would have messed
(16:51):
it up a lot worse being a younger parent.
Yeah. And that kind of goes back to
what I was saying earlier about one of the benefits of having
children at A at a later age in life is you yourself have
figured out a lot of things in life.
You figured out who you are, youfigured out how to deal with
your emotions. You figured out all these things
(17:12):
and it's it's cool because you can pass that information on to
your children instead of figuring all that out while
simultaneously raising children as well.
Yeah. So I mean, it's it's great that
we can bring that experience, that wisdom, that knowledge into
(17:33):
parenting that can help us to hopefully be a little bit
better. You know, we, we also have
experienced a lot more, you know, so as I'm dealing with my
kids either going starting into college, planning for college,
or in Liam's case, he's midway through college and trying to
plan careers, I am further alongin the career.
I've made some of the mistakes. It's like, you know, for
(17:55):
example, Liam is considering, you know, he's majoring in
English and literature and I think he's leaning into being a
professor, which kind of like, oh, dude, really?
Is that what you want to do? Did you not learn from my life?
But, you know, so I've at least experienced things.
Whereas, you know, if you're just head starting off on your
(18:15):
career and you have kids, you don't have quite that same level
of experience as they're maturing and going through
because they're not that far removed from where you were in
life. And so, yeah, I think it's, it's
good to have that experience andto be a bit more patient, be
more more perceptive, be a bit more retrospective in terms of
(18:39):
your, your parenting abilities well.
That should also be flattering that he's making that choice to
follow in your footsteps as a dad.
I assume a little bit of you is probably, you know, flattered.
I don't know about that. All right.
Well, regardless, this has really been inspiring here.
And from a longevity standpoint,having kids later might actually
(19:03):
encourage people to take better care of themselves so they can
keep up with their children. Yeah, I'm very competitive, even
with my kids. So having children later in life
kind of gives you a real incentive to stay healthy and
fit because you don't know you want to be there for them as
they grow up and you want to push them to be in shape as
(19:26):
well. And so you want to be that
example to them. You know, for a lot of parents
that are younger, they're kind of becoming grandparents in
their 40s and 50s. And so for them, it's kind of
regaining that fitness so they can keep up with the grandkids,
but they also know that they canhand the grandkids back to the
parents and and go and recover. You know, so they come and visit
(19:50):
for a weekend. They might get exhausted from
playing with the kids for that period of time, but then they go
and relax. As a parent, you don't have that
vacation time. You know, you don't have that
time to hand. I mean, yeah, you can get a few
hours here and there going off on a date night or whatever.
Or you can, you know, go on a vacation without the kids.
My parents did that many times. Pam and I have rarely done it,
(20:13):
but you know is. An older parent, you know, you
need to be in better shape to beable to keep up with these kids.
And it's been incentive for me. I mean, I, you know, I look at,
you know, kids that my kids associate with and their
parents. And, you know, there's a certain
part of me that's like, you know, yeah, I'm 60 now, and I'm
(20:34):
in better shape than these younger parents.
And it is a bit of an incentive to just kind of keep up at it,
keep with it and keep aging wellwith it.
Yeah, that's it. Nailed it.
I think that those words, the whoever's listening to this
think that's pretty encouraging.So for our listeners who might
(20:55):
be considering having children later in life, what is your
advice? Well, my advice would be first
to focus on your health, you know, do your research, make
sure that you have a good support system in place.
And really most important is to trust your instincts.
You know, every family's journeyis going to be different and
there are no right or wrong ways.
(21:17):
There's no single right time to have kids, you know, So plan
when it is best for you. You know, evaluate your life.
Look at where am I financially? Where am I physically?
Where I am I geographically, youknow, is this where I plan to
want to raise kids? You know, maybe you've taken a
(21:38):
job early in life and it takes you to New York City and you're
like, OK, I'm going to work herefor a while, but my goal is to
go somewhere else. And, you know, when I was in my
old was, I was shortly after college.
I was probably in my later 20s. I took a job in New York and I
had no intention of staying in New York.
My goal was to be there about a year or so and then go back.
(22:00):
And then I spent a little bit longer than I anticipated there.
But I don't know that I would have wanted to have raised a
family there. But the plan was always, you
know, I can financially improve my situation and then go and and
start a family. Well said, and for our listeners
who want to dive deeper into this topic, we'll include a link
to the article in our show. Notes Yeah, so I think this has
(22:21):
been a great conversation. I it was surprising to me when
Pam shared the article that, youknow, there are health benefits
that go along with being older parents.
You know, we, we generally tend to focus on the risks, but it
really appears that there is an advantage maybe not to waiting
into the 40s as I did. But you know, looking at, you
know, the trend in society todayto be kind of waiting into early
(22:46):
30s, mid 30s before really starting to have kids instead of
in their 20s is, you know, much of my generation, my parents
generation had done waiting until maybe the latter part of
that, you know, 4th decade of life and have your kids a little
bit later when you're more financially secure in planning
that, you know, plan for your fiscal, your financial fitness,
(23:09):
your physical fitness, but also be focused on your mental health
as well. And I think, you know, giving
out a little another shout out to Jay with the spies.
I think this spies is something that we develop a little bit
more with maturity. And I think that can add to our
ability to be better parents when we are more spiritually,
(23:30):
physically, intellectually, emotionally and socially well
centered. And so those are things to
consider. And, you know, it doesn't matter
when you decide to have kids or whether you decide to have kids.
Some of our listeners might like, I have no desire to have
kids or, you know, we have listeners who maybe for whatever
reasons cannot have children andthat's OK as well.
(23:51):
It's like there's there's no right or wrongs when it comes to
when and whether to have kids. The key is, you know, just
whether you're having kids, not having kids, just keep aging
well. Thank you for listening.
Hope you benefited from today's podcast.
And until next time, keep aging well.
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