Hitting the road can feel liberating UNLESS you've got some tricky issues with food. 😰
For some, it can feel stressful, unpredictable, unsafe, and out of control.
For others, it can feel like leaving rules behind but still packing in the guilt.
Is it possible to travel without thinking much about food at all?
It absolutely is possible!
I talk about traveling with my previous relationship with food and so many rules.
Spoiler: it was not fun.
After adopting Intuitive Eating and making changes with my relationship with food, travel has been easy peasy.
I feel bad for my former self AND my travel companions to feel the need to contend with so much restriction and fear.
Join me in this chat about creating a more positive narrative in your travels.
Together, we'll learn to enjoy every moment of our meals and deepen connections with our travel peeps.
It's good for the body and the soul! ✌🏼
…..
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Need support overcoming emotional eating? Work through my guidebook, Don’t Eat It. DEAL With It! Second Edition: Your Guidebook on How to STOP Eating Your Emotions, to create a healthier relationship with food. ✍🏼
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What would it feel like to just travel, literally
look at a map, pick a place,look at a menu, pick some food,
eat it and then move on withyour life?
Like, how would that feel tojust be free enough that you can
make choices, feel happy withyour choices and then move on,
(00:21):
enjoy your company and enjoy theconversation, enjoy the view,
whatever it is, but that you'renot stressed out about what
you're about to eat, what you'reeating or what you already ate?
Hi and welcome to the Air weBreathe, finding well-being that
works for you.
I'm your host, heatherSayers-Layman.
I'm a National Board CertifiedHealth and Wellness Coach,
(00:44):
certified Intuitive EatingCounselor and Certified Personal
Trainer.
I help you get organized andconsistent with healthy habits,
without rules, obsession orexhaustion.
This podcast may contain talkabout eating disorders and
disordered eating.
There could also be some adultlanguage here.
Choose wisely if those areproblematic for you.
(01:06):
Hi, and welcome to this episodeon food and travel.
Why talk about food and travel?
Well, in my own life, eatingwhile I've been out of town has
been problematic for a lot ofreasons, and then, as a coach, I
(01:28):
see this come up a lot withpeople and I wanted to take a
bit of a deeper dive becauseI've been traveling a lot lately
and talk about how it haschanged for me.
So when I look at many of thesituations my clients have been
in when it comes to travelingand their mindset about food in
(01:53):
their everyday life, thentraveling would open this sort
of Pandora's box of like, oh mygosh, they have everything, I
can eat everything, I want toeat everything.
Now I feel bad.
This huge cycle of eating morethan they felt like they wanted
to and then feeling guilty and Iwould say I would temper all of
(02:16):
that with I don't know thatthey ate more than they should
have.
They just felt like they atemore than they wanted to.
So that whole concept is veryloaded and I will break that
down a little bit as well.
When I used to travel, when Iwas, we'll just say, like the
(02:37):
healthiest eater, when I had aneating disorder and I was very
afraid to eat anything thatwasn't extremely healthy I've
talked about it before, butorthorexia is so applauded in
some circles of like, oh my gosh, you've got such great
willpower or I can't believeyou're not eating that, and it's
like, oh, I'm afraid that myfood is going to kill me, so
(02:58):
that's why I can't eat anythingelse.
It's not a great place to bewhen you can only eat.
I would say you know I hadwhole groups of foods that I
wouldn't eat and you know onlyeating, whatever you want to
call it.
You know more whole foods, realfoods, clean foods there's so
many ways to say it and none ofthem are great.
(03:20):
So traveling like that was sostressful because I either
needed to pack a ton of foodthese are kind of my whatever,
safe foods, these are foods thatI can eat or the research was
intense of okay, so if we'redriving and at this time it'll
(03:43):
probably be at lunchtime, likewhat is in this area, at this
exit and because it was solimited, like that usually
wasn't very much of an optionanyway.
So it was stressful in a waythat I found incredibly
unhealthy, and especially tolook at it now, because there
(04:06):
are certainly people that youknow pack their food and will
eat only certain things I'mtalking about.
What was problematic for me andwhat was problematic was how
much stress that caused.
Also, how much I put outeverybody that was with me.
So when my kids were youngerand traveled like that, I would
(04:27):
definitely bend my rules to beable to eat with them, and that
was about the only thing thatwould make me eat differently.
I would also be so stressedabout it and I'm sure that it
did not look like a normalnatural meal because I was like,
oh my gosh, I can't believe I'meating this, like I just feel
(04:47):
my thyroid getting worse by theminute All sorts of incorrect
assumptions I had about food.
So, all in all, like it wasvery disruptive to have to
travel because of the way that Iwas relating to my food and I
mean really looking back on itnow, it was so taxing, it was
(05:07):
really such a drain.
And when we talk about, like howunhealthy stress is, well, I
was creating tons and tons ofstress with this and I see it a
lot, you know, in clientsbecause they are traveling then
what I perceive and what peoplehave told me, then it becomes
more of like what they feel likeis a free for all of.
(05:29):
Oh my gosh, I can never havethis food.
So now I'm going to have it.
I'm never allowed to eat thisand it was really their rules
that they had around food werecausing them to eat probably
more than they wanted to.
More than that made themcomfortable from everything they
were telling me.
So there are a lot of differentreactions to disrupting your
(05:50):
regular schedule, traveling, andhow that interacts with food.
So I would love to do anepisode where it's like here's
just five things.
But because everybody's allover the map with how they react
to traveling, I wanted to talkabout some pieces of intuitive
helping intuitive helping orintuitive eating that were
(06:11):
really beneficial to makingtravel so much easier, so much
more joyful and, above all, Icould be so much more present
with whoever I was with.
Because that's one thing if youare stressing about food,
you're not present for thepeople that you're with.
If you are so disturbed byingredients or what time I'm
(06:35):
eating, how much I'm eating, Iwill tell you, probably not
paying a ton of attention to thepeople that you're with, and
that's so costly, because it'snot very fun to eat with
somebody who is not payingattention to you and they're
just really in their head.
So I do think that this isreally important, because what I
(07:00):
see when it comes to healthyhabits are people, you know,
making rules and making veryrigid rules.
When the reality is, life willcome at you and life is not all
about rules and we have to adaptand not having the ability to
adapt or do something different,it can be extremely detrimental
(07:22):
.
Also, this is so glorified oflike, oh my gosh, like you're so
strict, like you never mess upor you know whatever people say.
When somebody is on a strictdiet and it's like, well, it's
not necessarily a really goodthing.
So I try not to talk about likethe distinct behaviors I have
(07:44):
had when I had an eatingdisorder, because that can be
very triggering for people.
So I usually make them verygeneral and you might hear that
and be like why isn't she sayingexactly what she did?
Just because it's not healthyfor a lot of people to hear that
.
So when we look at intuitiveeating, to hear that.
(08:08):
So when we look at intuitiveeating, it's really trying to
find this land between rules andhaving to rebel against the
rules, because, absolutely, ifyou give yourself rules, our
brains are like, oh, I wouldlove to rebel against that.
Thank you so much.
And when we don't have a lot ofrules, then our brain doesn't
need to rebel.
And that's where intuitiveeating is incredibly beneficial
(08:28):
is to help you reject the dietmentality and get out of this
rule-based relationship withfood.
Also, I have to preface thisall the time, because sometimes
people feel like if there's norules, then absolutely it's some
kind of kind of free for all,where I only eat pizza and
Doritos three meals a day.
Now you can do that and that isabsolutely your choice.
(08:53):
That's not what intuitiveeating is about, because you're
really focused on how you feelwhen you are eating food, but
what sounds good, what'ssatisfying.
It's so much more than justeating whatever you want and, as
somebody that has some healthconditions, I do try to be
mindful about what I eat,because different things make me
(09:16):
feel better than other things.
So, again, if we get back tothis rules piece, always when
we're looking at intuitiveeating or if you're trying to
get away from this, being ableto trust yourself without rules
is a big challenge for manypeople, and when a lot of people
(09:38):
start intuitive eating, they doreally eat a lot of things they
haven't been able to eat, thatthey have forbidden themselves.
And I will say just for myselfI ate all of the things.
When I started intuitive eatingbecause there's so many things
I had not had in years and someof it was so fun to eat, and
(10:03):
then some of it.
I was like this makes me feelterrible or I didn't know, I
don't really like cheese.
Like all of these differentthings come up when you start
paying attention.
So there is always a curve whenyou start practicing intuitive
eating because, again, whatyou've forbidden from yourself,
you can have.
And that can be alsochallenging emotionally because
(10:27):
you're like, oh my gosh, like Icould eat everything.
And it's like you can eateverything.
And so I definitely did and hada lot of things that this is
also during the pandemic.
So my husband was baking andyou know we just had like so
many fun treats, whichhabituation happens.
(10:47):
So things are super fun untilthey're not super fun and you
get habituated to the fact that,okay, yeah, we have muffins on
the counter, I'm not very hungryand I really don't want one
right now.
Or I had muffins for breakfastyesterday and I started getting
a headache because I didn't haveany protein.
So I definitely want moreprotein this morning.
(11:08):
But you start looking at otherpieces.
So I think this trust piecethat you are able to not have
rules is what gives you a lot offreedom than when you're
traveling, because well, now Ican have different things, I'm
not rebelling against anythingand it really takes the shine
(11:30):
off of, you know, doing whateverI want or having a free for all
and man, do I not like the wordfree for all?
There are some things that arejust so loaded there's literally
no way I can say it that itsounds like it's not loaded.
What I would say when I sayfree for all is just it could be
(11:56):
a binge and it could be, youknow, eating until I feel
uncomfortable or eating thingsthat make me very uncomfortable,
like if I had like too muchdairy, please.
That makes me veryuncomfortable.
So the term is also not used inthis conversation as a negative
(12:17):
, because there's not a value oneating more or eating until you
are uncomfortable or eatingfoods that make you not feel
well.
There isn't a moral judgment, Iwould say socially.
A lot of people put that outthere, but in this conversation
there is not.
(12:37):
Have you ever felt like thedo-it-yourself approach to
improving your healthy habitsends up doing nothing except
making you feel overwhelmed,guilty and defeated?
Have you been struggling tofind sustainable routines that
work for your responsibilities,lifestyle, budget and personal
preferences?
You don't need more rules,influencers or structured
(12:58):
programs.
You don't need more rules,influencers or structured
programs.
Let me help you discover whatyou want, what works for you and
how to maintain healthy habitsduring the ever-changing
circumstances of your life.
If you're ready to createsystems that stick head to
heathersayerslaymancom backslash, health dash coaching and click
, let's do it.
Health-coaching and click,let's do it.
(13:26):
So I think that in my recenttravels it's been so much easier
because I could eat anywhere, alot of the things that I had
restricted before.
I had comfortably startedeating again and I didn't have
negative effects because Ithought like oh my gosh, I'm
allergic to this, I can'ttolerate that.
And as it turns out, that wasnot true.
There are many people who can'ttolerate certain foods.
(13:49):
That was not the choice for, orthe situation for me,
ironically enough, as it turnsout.
Ironically enough as it turnsout.
So I feel like that temptationbeing lifted makes everything a
lot more pragmatic and practicaland also revolves around what
(14:10):
sounds good, what feelssatisfying, because within
intuitive eating, there areobviously 10 different
principles.
If you haven't read the book byTribbley and Rush, I highly
recommend it.
It's also available at thelibrary if you don't want to
purchase, and Christy Harrison'sAnti-Diet is also a fantastic
book as well.
(14:30):
But really, looking at all ofthese concepts, but the
satisfaction factor, I think, isso important.
Concepts, but the satisfactionfactor, I think, is so important
.
What sounds good, because we'veall been there when we are
feeling like, oh my gosh, Ishouldn't eat this.
So let's just say I reallywould love some tamales.
(14:50):
Tamales sound so good, I wantthe beef ones, I want red sauce
with them.
Obviously, if we're doing that,I want chips and guacamole and
I want a really big Diet Coke.
So if that sounds good to me,and then I'm like you know what,
let's just have half a peanutbutter sandwich and we'll have a
ton of water and then let's seehow we feel.
(15:12):
Okay, that didn't hit thesatisfaction factor.
You know what?
I've got some frozen tamalesand a lean cuisine meal, so
maybe I'll try that.
So we end up going through allof these other foods and
probably eating much more thanwe were going to in the first
place Because we never hit thatsatisfaction factor.
(15:34):
And I know you've all felt thatwhen you've had a meal that you
maybe weren't that jazzed about,wasn't what you wanted, and
then you're like, hmm, likewhat's next?
Is there something else?
Is like dessert going to behelpful here, but it generally
will cause us to eat more thanwe set out to in the first place
, because we're really neversatisfied.
(15:55):
So I think that, looking at allof the options so I was just in
San Francisco with my son, whomoved there recently and he
lives in a walking area youdon't need a car, there's
restaurants all over the place,there's movie theaters, like
(16:16):
everything is pretty muchwalkable.
And I would look at the map onmy phone like, okay, here, look
up lunch or look up restaurant,and I would be like, oh my gosh,
there's so many places andliterally everything.
There is a Greek place, there'sEl Salvadorian, peruvian,
(16:38):
italian, all kinds of thingsthat I'm like I haven't even
heard of this.
I don't know what Peruvian foodis.
I can't even tell you what abasic toddler palate I have also
.
So it's not a surprise that Iwouldn't know what Peruvian food
is.
But being able to just look atthat map and be like what sounds
good and I would talk to my sonas well, like I don't know like
(17:01):
what sounds good to you, and sowe were really working off of
the satisfaction factor to picka place, and sometimes it would
look different.
There was one night where wewere walking somewhere.
So this place needed to be sortof on the way and I felt like I
(17:22):
just really wanted somevegetables.
I hadn't had a ton of vegbecause we drove all the way
from Arizona to California andyou know we're just eating stuff
that's in our car or whereveryou can stop that has a place
for a 16 foot truck towing a car.
So options were limited and mybody just doesn't feel great.
(17:45):
My GI system is like can wehave some more fiber please, or
I'm going to end up making youvery mad.
So you know, we stopped at apizza place where we could split
a pizza and have a salad aswell.
So it was really looking at whatsounds good, what feels good,
(18:06):
and I think this lens can bevery challenging to get into,
especially if you're leaving aregular diet land, because
that's never been the question.
What sounds good Likeeverything sounds good, like a
hamburger and fries sounds good,pizza sounds good, stir fry
(18:29):
sounds good.
But then you really startasking yourself a lot of
questions because I factor intolike what time is it?
Because I don't want to eatsomething really heavy before I
go to bed, just because I feellike like my gird will go nuts
and I will just be like burpingand so uncomfortable and the
(18:49):
fire in my chest from heartburn.
It's not my favorite.
So asking myself a lot ofquestions around like what
sounds good also is like what isgoing to feel good with your
body as well.
And even when I was there, myson's roommate is lactose
intolerant.
So he factored the dairycontent in with just how much
(19:12):
lactate he needed to take,because if it sounded really
good to him, then he was like,oh yeah, absolutely, because I
want to get a cheeseburger.
Like, hang on, before we go,I'm going to take lactate,
because he knew that that wouldmake him feel better.
So I think that there's a lotto be able to get to a place
(19:34):
where the satisfaction factormeets up with what I'm worth
having.
Because I think theconversation for so long has
been like what can I eat?
That's going to make me thesmallest and it's not about your
taste or it's not about whatyou want, it's about getting
your body to obey in a certainway.
(19:55):
So then when we take thosethings off the table and it's
like what sounds good to you,then absolutely our body and
mind are like who is this?
What do you want from me, likewhy are you asking me these
questions?
And I think that it's okay tobe very confused when you first
(20:16):
start doing this.
And what I just really wantedto stress is I've been doing
this for several years and it'sreally so much easier now If
I've said anything, and maybe Icould really just do a 45 second
podcast.
It's so much easier now.
It was really challenging when Istarted, because all of these
(20:38):
voices on the committee arepiping up of like are you sure
you should eat that?
Or like ooh, that seems like alot.
Or oh, it's kind of late to eatthat.
Or what are you doing in themorning?
Are you going to take a biglong walk?
All of the voices had somethingto say.
And I will say persisting inthis direction, with this
(20:59):
relationship with food, has paidoff in spades, because I mean
just this year I think, I had togo to Indiana where I helped my
best friend remodel her laundryroom and then I went to her
father's funeral.
So I was there for several daysand just eating, kind of
(21:23):
whatever everybody else wanted,like what's close?
Like what can we get whatsounds good to you?
And then I flew from there toFlorida to be with my husband
for a conference he was at, andwhile we were at the conference,
it was conference food, likehere's what dinner is, and so I
ate whatever dinner was.
And again, both of thosesituations would have been
(21:46):
impossible before, when I wasvery extreme with what I needed
to eat and I didn't sweat any ofit a bit.
The pool restaurant had fruitand then this yogurt dip and I
ordered that, I think, threetimes, because I don't know what
it is about me, but if somebodyelse cuts up my fruit, I'm just
(22:07):
happy as a clam.
So I got that several timeswhile I was there because I was
just like, oh my God, cantaloupe, pineapple, strawberries, like
what's happening?
This is so great, but it mademe.
I was so satisfied when I hadthat because I just felt great,
so that this piece gets so mucheasier.
(22:30):
And I think the best way to tryto leverage making this change
is to really look at what itcosts me to either feel like I
have to be so restricted.
I have to, you know, only eatthese things.
And here's what I'm going to do.
You know, when I go to myin-laws or when we go on
(22:51):
vacation, it's got to be thisand that costs me presence.
That is so stressful.
I'm not thinking of otherthings, I'm not present for the
people that I want to be withbecause I'm so focused on oh my
gosh, what is dinner?
What do they have?
Can I look a menu up online?
(23:12):
And then also, on the other hand, when I see people that have so
many rules and they feel likethen vacation, they can eat
everything that they never letthemselves eat, and then they
came back completely upset withthemselves, kind of is
(23:33):
minimizing it, but they feltlike they failed and they felt
like they didn't really takegreat care of themselves, just
because they were so excited tobe able to have the permission
to eat what they really wanted.
And again, if we don't have alot of rules to begin with, then
when we go on vacation and youknow we can have pizza and wings
(23:57):
or whatever it is that soundsgood, then there's no reason to
beat yourself up or to feel bad.
And I also find with myselflike I don't necessarily end up
eating more than I'm comfortablewith, because I could also have
this at any time, like pizzaand wings is readily available
(24:18):
for me anywhere.
That I am, and I think keepingthe mindset of not having rules
then takes the shine off when wego somewhere and we can have a
lot of different things.
And I think there are, like, ifI go to Costa Rica, like the
pastries are really differentthere.
(24:39):
And then there are some foodsum, gallo Pinto is really not
special, it's beans and rice,but the way they make it is so
delicious.
So I definitely eat a lot ofthat while I'm there, because I
can't really get that here, andsome of the pastries that I
definitely want to have whileI'm there, because I can't
really get that here, and someof the pastries that I
definitely want to have whileI'm there.
But it's about enjoying it andit's not about the calories.
(25:00):
I would have no idea how manycalories are in any of those
things.
It's not about the portions.
It's really about going andthen my husband and I finding a
place that looks really good forbreakfast and then let's go
there, being present, enjoyingthis food, stopping when I feel
like I've had enough and thenfeeling really satisfied with
(25:21):
what I have.
So the leverage piece of gettingaway from how bad you may feel
when you travel and then arerestricting yourself so much in
general, and the way that youfeel, maybe when you get home,
I'm like, oh, like man, thestress really takes a toll.
(25:44):
So what would it feel like tojust travel, literally, look at
a map, pick a place, look at amenu, pick some food, eat it and
then move on with your life?
Like, how would that feel tojust be free enough that you can
make choices, feel happy withyour choices and then move on,
(26:07):
enjoy your company and enjoy theconversation, enjoy the view,
whatever it is, but that you'renot stressed out about what
you're about to eat, what you'reeating or what you already ate?
And I think that that feelingcan be great leverage to be able
to want to make some changes,because we all know what it
(26:29):
feels like to be incrediblystressed about this, whether
it's stress while I'm there orstress when I get back home.
But looking at those feelings,be like okay, I know I don't
want that, what do I want?
I just want to feel peaceful, Iwant to feel content, I want to
feel nothing about it, I wantto feel like yum, that was good
(26:54):
and I just don't want todedicate any more energy to
feeling bad about food orfeeling bad about myself, like I
feel done with it, andintuitive eating can be a great
step for you, because I knowalmost everybody I know is sick
of it.
They're just sick of it, sickof feeling bad about food and
(27:18):
their body and intuitive eatingas one tool it doesn't work for
everybody.
For the people that it works,for, the freedom that they get
really is priceless.
And I will say for myself,being able to take all of these
trips I've had planned trips,I've had emergency trips, trips
(27:39):
for fun, trips for seriousmatters, and food was one of the
last things on my mind Duringthese trips.
I was there to be be there forsomeone.
I was there to be there forsomeone.
I was there to be with people.
I was there to learn something,and that took precedence, and
food did not take precedence,and that's very, very possible
(28:02):
for you.
So, absolutely, if you feellike you are struggling with
traveling and eating, intuitiveeating is a piece that I think
is worth looking at in how can Icreate a much healthier
relationship with food so thatit's not the headliner of my
(28:26):
trip?
You can always reach out to me.
I'm happy to chat with youabout intuitive eating, because
it's been a game changer for me.
All right, thanks for listeningand safe travels.
Thanks so much for listeningtoday.
Do you know what would bereally fun?
If you popped over to myInstagram at Heather Sayers
(28:46):
Lehman and dropped me a DM andlet me know what topics you want
me to cover?
Something bugging you,something holding you up?
Please just let me know and Iwill tweak some content and get
an episode out just for you.
As always.
Please follow show or you canleave a five star review on
Apple or Spotify.
That would be fun to see in thenext episode.
What would it feel like to just travel, literally
look at a map, pick a place,look at a menu, pick some food,
eat it and then move on withyour life?
Like, how would that feel tojust be free enough that you can
make choices, feel happy withyour choices and then move on,
(00:21):
enjoy your company and enjoy theconversation, enjoy the view,
whatever it is, but that you'renot stressed out about what
you're about to eat, what you'reeating or what you already ate?
Hi and welcome to the Air weBreathe, finding well-being that
works for you.
I'm your host, heatherSayers-Layman.
I'm a National Board CertifiedHealth and Wellness Coach,
(00:44):
certified Intuitive EatingCounselor and Certified Personal
Trainer.
I help you get organized andconsistent with healthy habits,
without rules, obsession orexhaustion.
This podcast may contain talkabout eating disorders and
disordered eating.
There could also be some adultlanguage here.
Choose wisely if those areproblematic for you.
(01:06):
Hi, and welcome to this episodeon food and travel.
Why talk about food and travel?
Well, in my own life, eatingwhile I've been out of town has
been problematic for a lot ofreasons, and then, as a coach, I
(01:28):
see this come up a lot withpeople and I wanted to take a
bit of a deeper dive becauseI've been traveling a lot lately
and talk about how it haschanged for me.
So when I look at many of thesituations my clients have been
in when it comes to travelingand their mindset about food in
(01:53):
their everyday life, thentraveling would open this sort
of Pandora's box of like, oh mygosh, they have everything, I
can eat everything, I want toeat everything.
Now I feel bad.
This huge cycle of eating morethan they felt like they wanted
to and then feeling guilty and Iwould say I would temper all of
(02:16):
that with I don't know thatthey ate more than they should
have.
They just felt like they atemore than they wanted to.
So that whole concept is veryloaded and I will break that
down a little bit as well.
When I used to travel, when Iwas, we'll just say, like the
(02:37):
healthiest eater, when I had aneating disorder and I was very
afraid to eat anything thatwasn't extremely healthy I've
talked about it before, butorthorexia is so applauded in
some circles of like, oh my gosh, you've got such great
willpower or I can't believeyou're not eating that, and it's
like, oh, I'm afraid that myfood is going to kill me, so
(02:58):
that's why I can't eat anythingelse.
It's not a great place to bewhen you can only eat.
I would say you know I hadwhole groups of foods that I
wouldn't eat and you know onlyeating, whatever you want to
call it.
You know more whole foods, realfoods, clean foods there's so
many ways to say it and none ofthem are great.
(03:20):
So traveling like that was sostressful because I either
needed to pack a ton of foodthese are kind of my whatever,
safe foods, these are foods thatI can eat or the research was
intense of okay, so if we'redriving and at this time it'll
(03:43):
probably be at lunchtime, likewhat is in this area, at this
exit and because it was solimited, like that usually
wasn't very much of an optionanyway.
So it was stressful in a waythat I found incredibly
unhealthy, and especially tolook at it now, because there
(04:06):
are certainly people that youknow pack their food and will
eat only certain things I'mtalking about.
What was problematic for me andwhat was problematic was how
much stress that caused.
Also, how much I put outeverybody that was with me.
So when my kids were youngerand traveled like that, I would
(04:27):
definitely bend my rules to beable to eat with them, and that
was about the only thing thatwould make me eat differently.
I would also be so stressedabout it and I'm sure that it
did not look like a normalnatural meal because I was like,
oh my gosh, I can't believe I'meating this, like I just feel
(04:47):
my thyroid getting worse by theminute All sorts of incorrect
assumptions I had about food.
So, all in all, like it wasvery disruptive to have to
travel because of the way that Iwas relating to my food and I
mean really looking back on itnow, it was so taxing, it was
(05:07):
really such a drain.
And when we talk about, like howunhealthy stress is, well, I
was creating tons and tons ofstress with this and I see it a
lot, you know, in clientsbecause they are traveling then
what I perceive and what peoplehave told me, then it becomes
more of like what they feel likeis a free for all of.
(05:29):
Oh my gosh, I can never havethis food.
So now I'm going to have it.
I'm never allowed to eat thisand it was really their rules
that they had around food werecausing them to eat probably
more than they wanted to.
More than that made themcomfortable from everything they
were telling me.
So there are a lot of differentreactions to disrupting your
(05:50):
regular schedule, traveling, andhow that interacts with food.
So I would love to do anepisode where it's like here's
just five things.
But because everybody's allover the map with how they react
to traveling, I wanted to talkabout some pieces of intuitive
helping intuitive helping orintuitive eating that were
(06:11):
really beneficial to makingtravel so much easier, so much
more joyful and, above all, Icould be so much more present
with whoever I was with.
Because that's one thing if youare stressing about food,
you're not present for thepeople that you're with.
If you are so disturbed byingredients or what time I'm
(06:35):
eating, how much I'm eating, Iwill tell you, probably not
paying a ton of attention to thepeople that you're with, and
that's so costly, because it'snot very fun to eat with
somebody who is not payingattention to you and they're
just really in their head.
So I do think that this isreally important, because what I
(07:00):
see when it comes to healthyhabits are people, you know,
making rules and making veryrigid rules.
When the reality is, life willcome at you and life is not all
about rules and we have to adaptand not having the ability to
adapt or do something different,it can be extremely detrimental
(07:22):
.
Also, this is so glorified oflike, oh my gosh, like you're so
strict, like you never mess upor you know whatever people say.
When somebody is on a strictdiet and it's like, well, it's
not necessarily a really goodthing.
So I try not to talk about likethe distinct behaviors I have
(07:44):
had when I had an eatingdisorder, because that can be
very triggering for people.
So I usually make them verygeneral and you might hear that
and be like why isn't she sayingexactly what she did?
Just because it's not healthyfor a lot of people to hear that
.
So when we look at intuitiveeating, to hear that.
(08:08):
So when we look at intuitiveeating, it's really trying to
find this land between rules andhaving to rebel against the
rules, because, absolutely, ifyou give yourself rules, our
brains are like, oh, I wouldlove to rebel against that.
Thank you so much.
And when we don't have a lot ofrules, then our brain doesn't
need to rebel.
And that's where intuitiveeating is incredibly beneficial
(08:28):
is to help you reject the dietmentality and get out of this
rule-based relationship withfood.
Also, I have to preface thisall the time, because sometimes
people feel like if there's norules, then absolutely it's some
kind of kind of free for all,where I only eat pizza and
Doritos three meals a day.
Now you can do that and that isabsolutely your choice.
(08:53):
That's not what intuitiveeating is about, because you're
really focused on how you feelwhen you are eating food, but
what sounds good, what'ssatisfying.
It's so much more than justeating whatever you want and, as
somebody that has some healthconditions, I do try to be
mindful about what I eat,because different things make me
(09:16):
feel better than other things.
So, again, if we get back tothis rules piece, always when
we're looking at intuitiveeating or if you're trying to
get away from this, being ableto trust yourself without rules
is a big challenge for manypeople, and when a lot of people
(09:38):
start intuitive eating, they doreally eat a lot of things they
haven't been able to eat, thatthey have forbidden themselves.
And I will say just for myselfI ate all of the things.
When I started intuitive eatingbecause there's so many things
I had not had in years and someof it was so fun to eat, and
(10:03):
then some of it.
I was like this makes me feelterrible or I didn't know, I
don't really like cheese.
Like all of these differentthings come up when you start
paying attention.
So there is always a curve whenyou start practicing intuitive
eating because, again, whatyou've forbidden from yourself,
you can have.
And that can be alsochallenging emotionally because
(10:27):
you're like, oh my gosh, like Icould eat everything.
And it's like you can eateverything.
And so I definitely did and hada lot of things that this is
also during the pandemic.
So my husband was baking andyou know we just had like so
many fun treats, whichhabituation happens.
(10:47):
So things are super fun untilthey're not super fun and you
get habituated to the fact that,okay, yeah, we have muffins on
the counter, I'm not very hungryand I really don't want one
right now.
Or I had muffins for breakfastyesterday and I started getting
a headache because I didn't haveany protein.
So I definitely want moreprotein this morning.
(11:08):
But you start looking at otherpieces.
So I think this trust piecethat you are able to not have
rules is what gives you a lot offreedom than when you're
traveling, because well, now Ican have different things, I'm
not rebelling against anythingand it really takes the shine
(11:30):
off of, you know, doing whateverI want or having a free for all
and man, do I not like the wordfree for all?
There are some things that arejust so loaded there's literally
no way I can say it that itsounds like it's not loaded.
What I would say when I sayfree for all is just it could be
(11:56):
a binge and it could be, youknow, eating until I feel
uncomfortable or eating thingsthat make me very uncomfortable,
like if I had like too muchdairy, please.
That makes me veryuncomfortable.
So the term is also not used inthis conversation as a negative
(12:17):
, because there's not a value oneating more or eating until you
are uncomfortable or eatingfoods that make you not feel
well.
There isn't a moral judgment, Iwould say socially.
A lot of people put that outthere, but in this conversation
there is not.
(12:37):
Have you ever felt like thedo-it-yourself approach to
improving your healthy habitsends up doing nothing except
making you feel overwhelmed,guilty and defeated?
Have you been struggling tofind sustainable routines that
work for your responsibilities,lifestyle, budget and personal
preferences?
You don't need more rules,influencers or structured
(12:58):
programs.
You don't need more rules,influencers or structured
programs.
Let me help you discover whatyou want, what works for you and
how to maintain healthy habitsduring the ever-changing
circumstances of your life.
If you're ready to createsystems that stick head to
heathersayerslaymancom backslash, health dash coaching and click
, let's do it.
Health-coaching and click,let's do it.
(13:26):
So I think that in my recenttravels it's been so much easier
because I could eat anywhere, alot of the things that I had
restricted before.
I had comfortably startedeating again and I didn't have
negative effects because Ithought like oh my gosh, I'm
allergic to this, I can'ttolerate that.
And as it turns out, that wasnot true.
There are many people who can'ttolerate certain foods.
(13:49):
That was not the choice for, orthe situation for me,
ironically enough, as it turnsout.
Ironically enough as it turnsout.
So I feel like that temptationbeing lifted makes everything a
lot more pragmatic and practicaland also revolves around what
(14:10):
sounds good, what feelssatisfying, because within
intuitive eating, there areobviously 10 different
principles.
If you haven't read the book byTribbley and Rush, I highly
recommend it.
It's also available at thelibrary if you don't want to
purchase, and Christy Harrison'sAnti-Diet is also a fantastic
book as well.
(14:30):
But really, looking at all ofthese concepts, but the
satisfaction factor, I think, isso important.
Concepts, but the satisfactionfactor, I think, is so important
.
What sounds good, because we'veall been there when we are
feeling like, oh my gosh, Ishouldn't eat this.
So let's just say I reallywould love some tamales.
(14:50):
Tamales sound so good, I wantthe beef ones, I want red sauce
with them.
Obviously, if we're doing that,I want chips and guacamole and
I want a really big Diet Coke.
So if that sounds good to me,and then I'm like you know what,
let's just have half a peanutbutter sandwich and we'll have a
ton of water and then let's seehow we feel.
(15:12):
Okay, that didn't hit thesatisfaction factor.
You know what?
I've got some frozen tamalesand a lean cuisine meal, so
maybe I'll try that.
So we end up going through allof these other foods and
probably eating much more thanwe were going to in the first
place Because we never hit thatsatisfaction factor.
(15:34):
And I know you've all felt thatwhen you've had a meal that you
maybe weren't that jazzed about,wasn't what you wanted, and
then you're like, hmm, likewhat's next?
Is there something else?
Is like dessert going to behelpful here, but it generally
will cause us to eat more thanwe set out to in the first place
, because we're really neversatisfied.
(15:55):
So I think that, looking at allof the options so I was just in
San Francisco with my son, whomoved there recently and he
lives in a walking area youdon't need a car, there's
restaurants all over the place,there's movie theaters, like
(16:16):
everything is pretty muchwalkable.
And I would look at the map onmy phone like, okay, here, look
up lunch or look up restaurant,and I would be like, oh my gosh,
there's so many places andliterally everything.
There is a Greek place, there'sEl Salvadorian, peruvian,
(16:38):
italian, all kinds of thingsthat I'm like I haven't even
heard of this.
I don't know what Peruvian foodis.
I can't even tell you what abasic toddler palate I have also
.
So it's not a surprise that Iwouldn't know what Peruvian food
is.
But being able to just look atthat map and be like what sounds
good and I would talk to my sonas well, like I don't know like
(17:01):
what sounds good to you, and sowe were really working off of
the satisfaction factor to picka place, and sometimes it would
look different.
There was one night where wewere walking somewhere.
So this place needed to be sortof on the way and I felt like I
(17:22):
just really wanted somevegetables.
I hadn't had a ton of vegbecause we drove all the way
from Arizona to California andyou know we're just eating stuff
that's in our car or whereveryou can stop that has a place
for a 16 foot truck towing a car.
So options were limited and mybody just doesn't feel great.
(17:45):
My GI system is like can wehave some more fiber please, or
I'm going to end up making youvery mad.
So you know, we stopped at apizza place where we could split
a pizza and have a salad aswell.
So it was really looking at whatsounds good, what feels good,
(18:06):
and I think this lens can bevery challenging to get into,
especially if you're leaving aregular diet land, because
that's never been the question.
What sounds good Likeeverything sounds good, like a
hamburger and fries sounds good,pizza sounds good, stir fry
(18:29):
sounds good.
But then you really startasking yourself a lot of
questions because I factor intolike what time is it?
Because I don't want to eatsomething really heavy before I
go to bed, just because I feellike like my gird will go nuts
and I will just be like burpingand so uncomfortable and the
(18:49):
fire in my chest from heartburn.
It's not my favorite.
So asking myself a lot ofquestions around like what
sounds good also is like what isgoing to feel good with your
body as well.
And even when I was there, myson's roommate is lactose
intolerant.
So he factored the dairycontent in with just how much
(19:12):
lactate he needed to take,because if it sounded really
good to him, then he was like,oh yeah, absolutely, because I
want to get a cheeseburger.
Like, hang on, before we go,I'm going to take lactate,
because he knew that that wouldmake him feel better.
So I think that there's a lotto be able to get to a place
(19:34):
where the satisfaction factormeets up with what I'm worth
having.
Because I think theconversation for so long has
been like what can I eat?
That's going to make me thesmallest and it's not about your
taste or it's not about whatyou want, it's about getting
your body to obey in a certainway.
(19:55):
So then when we take thosethings off the table and it's
like what sounds good to you,then absolutely our body and
mind are like who is this?
What do you want from me, likewhy are you asking me these
questions?
And I think that it's okay tobe very confused when you first
(20:16):
start doing this.
And what I just really wantedto stress is I've been doing
this for several years and it'sreally so much easier now If
I've said anything, and maybe Icould really just do a 45 second
podcast.
It's so much easier now.
It was really challenging when Istarted, because all of these
(20:38):
voices on the committee arepiping up of like are you sure
you should eat that?
Or like ooh, that seems like alot.
Or oh, it's kind of late to eatthat.
Or what are you doing in themorning?
Are you going to take a biglong walk?
All of the voices had somethingto say.
And I will say persisting inthis direction, with this
(20:59):
relationship with food, has paidoff in spades, because I mean
just this year I think, I had togo to Indiana where I helped my
best friend remodel her laundryroom and then I went to her
father's funeral.
So I was there for several daysand just eating, kind of
(21:23):
whatever everybody else wanted,like what's close?
Like what can we get whatsounds good to you?
And then I flew from there toFlorida to be with my husband
for a conference he was at, andwhile we were at the conference,
it was conference food, likehere's what dinner is, and so I
ate whatever dinner was.
And again, both of thosesituations would have been
(21:46):
impossible before, when I wasvery extreme with what I needed
to eat and I didn't sweat any ofit a bit.
The pool restaurant had fruitand then this yogurt dip and I
ordered that, I think, threetimes, because I don't know what
it is about me, but if somebodyelse cuts up my fruit, I'm just
(22:07):
happy as a clam.
So I got that several timeswhile I was there because I was
just like, oh my God, cantaloupe, pineapple, strawberries, like
what's happening?
This is so great, but it mademe.
I was so satisfied when I hadthat because I just felt great,
so that this piece gets so mucheasier.
(22:30):
And I think the best way to tryto leverage making this change
is to really look at what itcosts me to either feel like I
have to be so restricted.
I have to, you know, only eatthese things.
And here's what I'm going to do.
You know, when I go to myin-laws or when we go on
(22:51):
vacation, it's got to be thisand that costs me presence.
That is so stressful.
I'm not thinking of otherthings, I'm not present for the
people that I want to be withbecause I'm so focused on oh my
gosh, what is dinner?
What do they have?
Can I look a menu up online?
(23:12):
And then also, on the other hand, when I see people that have so
many rules and they feel likethen vacation, they can eat
everything that they never letthemselves eat, and then they
came back completely upset withthemselves, kind of is
(23:33):
minimizing it, but they feltlike they failed and they felt
like they didn't really takegreat care of themselves, just
because they were so excited tobe able to have the permission
to eat what they really wanted.
And again, if we don't have alot of rules to begin with, then
when we go on vacation and youknow we can have pizza and wings
(23:57):
or whatever it is that soundsgood, then there's no reason to
beat yourself up or to feel bad.
And I also find with myselflike I don't necessarily end up
eating more than I'm comfortablewith, because I could also have
this at any time, like pizzaand wings is readily available
(24:18):
for me anywhere.
That I am, and I think keepingthe mindset of not having rules
then takes the shine off when wego somewhere and we can have a
lot of different things.
And I think there are, like, ifI go to Costa Rica, like the
pastries are really differentthere.
(24:39):
And then there are some foodsum, gallo Pinto is really not
special, it's beans and rice,but the way they make it is so
delicious.
So I definitely eat a lot ofthat while I'm there, because I
can't really get that here, andsome of the pastries that I
definitely want to have whileI'm there, because I can't
really get that here, and someof the pastries that I
definitely want to have whileI'm there.
But it's about enjoying it andit's not about the calories.
(25:00):
I would have no idea how manycalories are in any of those
things.
It's not about the portions.
It's really about going andthen my husband and I finding a
place that looks really good forbreakfast and then let's go
there, being present, enjoyingthis food, stopping when I feel
like I've had enough and thenfeeling really satisfied with
(25:21):
what I have.
So the leverage piece of gettingaway from how bad you may feel
when you travel and then arerestricting yourself so much in
general, and the way that youfeel, maybe when you get home,
I'm like, oh, like man, thestress really takes a toll.
(25:44):
So what would it feel like tojust travel, literally, look at
a map, pick a place, look at amenu, pick some food, eat it and
then move on with your life?
Like, how would that feel tojust be free enough that you can
make choices, feel happy withyour choices and then move on,
(26:07):
enjoy your company and enjoy theconversation, enjoy the view,
whatever it is, but that you'renot stressed out about what
you're about to eat, what you'reeating or what you already ate?
And I think that that feelingcan be great leverage to be able
to want to make some changes,because we all know what it
(26:29):
feels like to be incrediblystressed about this, whether
it's stress while I'm there orstress when I get back home.
But looking at those feelings,be like okay, I know I don't
want that, what do I want?
I just want to feel peaceful, Iwant to feel content, I want to
feel nothing about it, I wantto feel like yum, that was good
(26:54):
and I just don't want todedicate any more energy to
feeling bad about food orfeeling bad about myself, like I
feel done with it, andintuitive eating can be a great
step for you, because I knowalmost everybody I know is sick
of it.
They're just sick of it, sickof feeling bad about food and
(27:18):
their body and intuitive eatingas one tool it doesn't work for
everybody.
For the people that it works,for, the freedom that they get
really is priceless.
And I will say for myself,being able to take all of these
trips I've had planned trips,I've had emergency trips, trips
(27:39):
for fun, trips for seriousmatters, and food was one of the
last things on my mind Duringthese trips.
I was there to be be there forsomeone.
I was there to be there forsomeone.
I was there to be with people.
I was there to learn something,and that took precedence, and
food did not take precedence,and that's very, very possible
(28:02):
for you.
So, absolutely, if you feellike you are struggling with
traveling and eating, intuitiveeating is a piece that I think
is worth looking at in how can Icreate a much healthier
relationship with food so thatit's not the headliner of my
(28:26):
trip?
You can always reach out to me.
I'm happy to chat with youabout intuitive eating, because
it's been a game changer for me.
All right, thanks for listeningand safe travels.
Thanks so much for listeningtoday.
Do you know what would bereally fun?
If you popped over to myInstagram at Heather Sayers
(28:46):
Lehman and dropped me a DM andlet me know what topics you want
me to cover?
Something bugging you,something holding you up?
Please just let me know and Iwill tweak some content and get
an episode out just for you.
As always.
Please follow show or you canleave a five star review on
Apple or Spotify.
That would be fun to see in thenext episode.
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