In this raw, relatable, and deeply empowering conversation, Lauren Zoeller sits down with leading relationship coach and author Sabrina Bendory to unpack one of the most common (and confusing) questions in modern dating: Should I go back to my ex?
Sabrina shares her personal story of marrying her high school ex—after a decade-long journey of emotional chaos, deep healing, and radical self-responsibility. Together, she and Lauren dive into what it really takes to create healthy love after heartbreak, why “just love” isn’t enough, and how somatic integration, identity shifts, and nervous system work are the missing pieces for so many women stuck in love loops.
They explore how patterns like anxious attachment, self-abandonment, and unworthiness play out in relationships—and why the real transformation happens when you stop performing growth and start living it.
Whether you’re questioning a past relationship, struggling with detachment, or wondering why healthy love still feels hard, this episode will meet you right where you are—and show you how to rise from the inside out.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Sabrina’s full-circle love story (and what had to change before it could work)
- The role of nervous system regulation in dating and relationship repair
How your identity and self-worth shape who you attract (and keep)
Why getting back with an ex only works if the work has been done on both sides
The power of discomfort as a portal to growth in love - Why insight isn’t enough—and implementation is everything
How to challenge deep-rooted stories like “I’m broken” or “Everyone leaves” - What it actually looks like to choose yourself first and show up for love
Quotes:
“You can want something so badly and still sabotage it—because your nervous system isn’t ready to hold it.” — Sabrina Bendory [00:15:11]
“Love doesn’t conquer all. Compatibility, commitment, and healing do.” — Sabrina Bendory [00:36:22]
“Your reality is a reflection of what you think you’re worthy of. Change the belief, and the world around you changes too.” — Lauren Zoeller [00:49:08]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.