In this raw, validating, and deeply somatic episode, Lauren Zoeller takes you behind the scenes of her signature membership, HOME, to explore one of the most disorienting parts of nervous system healing: when the love you’ve always wanted finally shows up—and your body starts to panic.
Pulling from real questions asked inside her community, Lauren unpacks what’s really going on when safe love feels unfamiliar, why your survival system confuses calm with danger, and how to stop sabotaging the very thing you’ve been calling in.
This episode is a reminder that healthy love isn’t always “easy” for the nervous system—it’s new.
And new doesn’t always feel safe… until it does.
If you’ve ever run from someone kind, gotten the “ick” when things got real, or spiraled into worst-case scenarios with someone who actually shows up—this conversation will ground you in the truth:
You’re not broken. You’re just healing.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Why secure love can trigger panic when your body is wired for survival
- How “safety” can feel boring—or even unsafe—when chaos is your baseline
- A personal story of how Lauren almost walked away from her healthy relationship (and what stopped her)
- What’s actually happening when you fantasize worst-case scenarios in a healthy relationship
- Why deeper healing begins after love arrives—not before
- How to regulate your nervous system instead of running, fixing, or fawning
- The importance of learning to co-regulate inside safe partnership
Quotes:
“Safe love doesn’t always feel safe at first. Especially when your body’s used to earning love, not receiving it.” — Lauren Zoeller [00:11:02]
“I was standing at the door with my bags packed. And I had to ask my body: are we leaving… or are we just scared?” — Lauren Zoeller [00:07:45]
“Your nervous system will always choose what’s familiar over what’s healthy—until you show it a new way.” — Lauren Zoeller [00:21:09]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode
Manifest Your Dream Relationship Training
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