11 Why Men Don't Recognize Abuse and What to Watch For

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Most men don’t see themselves as abuse survivors. DV advocate Jenn Doe explains why this silence is deadly.

🔗 Full show notes, resources, and transcript: www.americanmasculinity.com

Men are taught to be strong and never show weakness. But what happens when these expectations trap them in cycles of abuse they can’t even name? In this powerful episode, licensed psychotherapist and veteran Tim Wienecke is joined by Jenn Doe – a seasoned domestic violence advocate and educator specializing in supporting male and female survivors.

Together, they dive deep into the hidden reality of male abuse survivors, how traditional masculinity norms create dangerous silence, and why so many men don’t recognize what’s happening to them. Jenn shares her expertise working directly with survivors and systems, offering nuanced insights and recognition tools to identify abuse beyond just physical violence – including emotional manipulation, coercive control, financial abuse, and psychological warfare.

👉 Subscribe for honest conversations about masculinity, mental health, and being a man in America.

⏰ Chapters

00:00 – Intro: The Cost of Silence
 04:12 – Masculinity and Why Men Don’t Recognize Abuse
 12:45 – Control, Escalation, and Abuse Patterns
 23:30 – Beyond Physical Violence: Emotional and Psychological Abuse
 35:10 – The Hidden Psychological Costs for Men
 46:55 – Frameworks for Recognizing Abuse Dynamics
 54:20 – Closing Validation and Next Steps

If you’re a man questioning your experiences, someone supporting a male survivor, or a professional working with men, this episode offers crucial insights and hope.

📞 Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone]
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.