August 12, 2025 • 26 mins
Have you ever considered how profoundly the people around you shape your reality? Your inner circle doesn't just influence your thoughts—it literally co-regulates your nervous system and determines the altitude of your potential.
This deeply personal episode explores the transformative power of building what I call a "conscious community"—relationships that reflect your values while challenging your growth edges. Drawing from my own recent revelations about shedding the exhausting "prove-it mentality," I share how carefully cultivated connections have become my lifeline during seasons of transition and doubt.
The quality of your relationships directly impacts your ability to rise. Those in your conscious community tell you the truth about your blind spots while simultaneously reflecting back your brilliance. They create safe containers for vulnerability without judgment, hold you accountable to your highest vision, and address conflict with love rather than avoidance. These connections transcend age, distance, and circumstance what matters is the shared intention for growth and authentic exchange.
I guide you through practical steps to audit your current relationships, identifying which ones energize versus deplete you. You'll learn to recognize what season each relationship is in, how to embody the energy of the friend you wish to attract, and create gathering points for meaningful connection. Most importantly, you'll discover that when you allow yourself to be witnessed in your imperfect process, you create space for others to do the same.
Ready to transform your social ecosystem? Take one intentional step today whether initiating a coffee chat or joining a growth-minded community and watch how quickly your consciousness expands to match your elevated connections. Your future self is shaped by who you surround yourself with now.
If you felt something shift inside you today… hold that. Honor it.
This is how we rise — one choice, one voice, one brave breath at a time.
If you’re ready to go deeper, download your free ARISE Activation Workbook at www.arisewithanita.com
And if this message landed in your soul, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a woman who’s done playing small.
Because we don’t just rise alone — we rise together.
I’ll see you in the next episode. And until then… stay rising.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Rise With Anita podcast, the space
where soul meets strategy anddreams are no longer optional.
I'm your host, anitaKurdayan-Kurges, a
transformational mindset coachand founder of the Her Method.
This show is for the woman whoknows she's meant for more, who
feels the call to rise higherbut sometimes feels trapped by
her old stories, patterns orcircumstances.
(00:22):
Here we don't just talk aboutgrowth, we embody it.
We activate the woman inside ofyou who leads, who creates, who
claims her next level.
You'll hear a mix of soulepisodes from me and interviews
with soul-driven leaders, thebest in their fields, who live
what they teach and rise byexample.
Each conversation is a catalystfor your next breakthrough.
You're not broken.
(00:43):
You're breaking through.
Let's go ahead and risetogether.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Welcome back to the Rise with Anita podcast.
I am so excited for thisepisode because not only is it
timely in my own life in thesense that I had this
realization of what an amazingcommunity I've built.
I've spent the better part ofthis last year, especially the
(01:11):
better part of the last fourmonths, really focused on
cultivating and nourishingrelationships and friendships
that are going to be what I callbuilding a community.
That's conscious, sounds great,but what do I mean by that?
(01:34):
So, if you're sitting herewondering, it's the people in
your circle whether that'smentors, friends, family members
are going to be the ones to notonly be real with you but to be
able to be there.
(01:54):
When you are in a funk, in amoment where life is changing
and you're in a transition,perhaps if you're in a season
that's actually going freaking,phenomenal these are the people
(02:15):
who are there to encourage you,to love on you, to show you what
you might be missing, right,you, what you might be missing,
right.
So what do I mean?
What you might be missing?
If you're like me and here'swhere I'm going to get
(02:40):
vulnerable with you guys I hadand am still working through a
prove-it mentality.
I will prove to you, I willearn my place in this world, and
this is something very real andraw.
So I just I want to take asecond before I dive really deep
(03:05):
here to acknowledge one thing,and that is part of this
podcasting journey for me is mesharing my own growth with you,
but also showing you how I'mgetting out of things, how I am
managing things.
(03:29):
How I am managing and a bigpart of this phase is really
acknowledging that I have someamazing people in my life right
now, which Jim Brown has a quotethe five people you spend the
most time with is who you willbe most likely to become, and so
for me, with that knowing, withbeing in a season of transition
, I realized I needed to startto be selective of who I'm
(03:56):
allowing into my corner, but notfrom a stance of are they
benefiting just my growth?
I look at it right now.
I've raised such standards thatI'm in a place that it's not
just do we align on our values,though that's a big part of it,
(04:19):
it's.
Do I accept the way I'm beingtreated in these relationships?
Do I accept the terms andconditions that are on myself,
my standards right now, where Ineed to be in order to grow,
stretch and improve my life.
(04:39):
So a conscious community is,for me, the people who are going
to uplift you.
They're going to look at youand tell you you're bullshit.
They're going to be the ones topoint out where you can grow,
but also where you're alreadyamazing.
(05:00):
Amazing, and the way that Irealized and discovered that I
actually had built this is I washaving a conversation over the
last week with someone veryimportant to me and they pointed
out that I still had a bit ofthat prove it mentality,
(05:32):
mentality, and I thought abouthow part of my life's lessons
for this lifetime is todisengage and disassociate from
that lesson of always earningand proving my worth, because a
big mic drop.
Realization I had is no matterhow much you attempt to prove
yourself to someone else,realization I had is no matter
how much you attempt to proveyourself to someone else, when
your anything bite you, you'regoing to lose your authenticity.
(05:52):
You're going to lose who youare in that process if you are
not careful, especially if youare altering who you are to fit
someone else's mold.
So that realization alone mademe ask a few of these amazing
friends I had when you think ofme, what do you think?
(06:16):
And this was not.
I want to also acknowledge onething, though this was not from
a baited place of tell me howgreat I am.
It was.
I want to understand myselfbetter.
I want to see what other peoplesee in me.
And on the flicker of that, Ialso asked what I can improve.
(06:37):
Now I knew I was doingsomething right when I was able
to have the same answers comeacross.
I believe it was six differentpeople, which half of them don't
(06:57):
know each other and have notinteracted with each other.
And the core question I askedoutside of accomplishments,
because I wanted to know myessence.
I wanted to understand what Iwas maybe not seeing about
myself Outside ofaccomplishments.
Who am I?
(07:18):
What do you think of when youthink of me?
And the answers?
Honestly, I challenge everyperson listening to this.
If you're having a moment whereyou're having uncertainty about
yourself or you're in atransition, borrow someone
else's belief.
This was actually a topic Ijust talked on with a person
(07:41):
who's coming out to the podcast.
So, if we think about it, ourcommunity, who we surround
ourselves with, is literallythose who are going to help us
(08:01):
sail our boats or sink it.
Right, if you have voices inyour ear.
Right, if you have voices inyour ear that are telling you
what you cannot do or are asource of doubt, that doubt will
start to penetrate your mind.
But if you have people who areable to combat and be in this
(08:28):
what I call buffer position of Ican tell you the truth, but I
can tell you what's great aboutyou or how you can improve it.
That is where the success lies.
So right now, I want you totake a moment and, as we're
having this discussion, justpause and think about who in my
life is actually playing a roleof a buffer, a conscious
(08:56):
community member, someone wholifts me up.
There's a mentor.
I have that.
At the beginning of the year shewas having us write out our
people who are in our lives andshe had two columns we had.
It was basically your heroes orthose who are your confidants,
(09:23):
those you can go to withanything much like what I'm
saying right now, your consciouscommunity.
And on the other end, it waswho is it that I need to let go
of or maybe just distance from,because who you surround
(09:50):
yourself with is who you become,and I know I said that already
in this episode.
So I just realized so much ofmy life has been transformed by
the people that's in my liferight now and when we think
about it.
Why is this human connection soneeded?
It's because we are in need ofconnection, but we need
connections that add life to us,that speak life to us, that are
(10:13):
able to remind ourselves inthose moments of, to remind
ourselves in those moments ofI'm losing my doubt, to have
someone just speak life over you.
Recently, I was in a seasonwhere the doubt had hit me
harder than it had in a verylong time, and normally I myself
(10:38):
would just use all my tips,tricks and tools, and in that
moment, because I had it pointedout to me I ended up reaching
out to someone that I caredabout, and I was like, hey, I
usually don't come to you inmid-process, but I'm
experiencing doubt in thiscapacity and I just need you to
(11:02):
hold space for it and just beingable to share and be able to
witness, be witnessed.
What a beautiful reminder thatwe don't need to always look
like we have it together.
There's something to be saidabout processing and leaning on
(11:27):
your community and relying onpeople and allowing yourself to
be seen in that light, and, ifwe look at it, humans have a
need for belonging right.
It's part of our root chakrawisdom.
(11:47):
It's part of us meeting thatfundamental need of wanting to
be seen, wanting to connect,wanting to have real
conversations, but if we're notopen to being vulnerable, we're
not able to have thoseconversations.
(12:08):
Our nervous system and sense ofsafety are literally
co-regulated by others.
The people that are around youcan affect your baseline.
So what I'm learning, though andthis is where I say the HER
(12:28):
method really embodieseverything that I really want to
teach on, and that is like acheck, like, if you look at HER
method like a checked like.
If you look at her method healand body rise it comes down to
really owning the fact that therising is that manifestation
(12:49):
process taking root and herhealing.
Embodying is just the journeyto get there.
Embodying is just the journeyto get there.
So, from relationshipprinciples, we're working on
being worthy of that type ofrelationship, and when I say
worthy, I don't mean you have tobe something more than you're
(13:12):
not.
The whole point and this is whyI started off with the reality
of me having that provingmentality that I'm shaking off,
that I'm working through is it'snot that you're worthy by
needing to change yourself foryour relationships.
You're already inherentlyworthy and you have to start
(13:34):
honing them from the get-go.
So, if you think about it, thepeople we align with that we
truly align with I'm not talkingabout people that you have to
change yourself to be around.
They reflect your values, theystart to reflect your beliefs,
they reflect the level ofconsciousness I don't know if
(13:57):
you've ever had it where youfollow someone on social media
or you are around someone andyou're going through the same
thing, or you're having similarconversations.
Because of the consciousnessthat you're vibrating at you,
tap into a different frequency,and these are all big words but
essentially like attracts, likeYou'll end up finding the people
(14:20):
who are meant for you at theright time.
Friends connect as mirrors foryour strengths, blind spots,
your limiting beliefs.
I think there was a beautifulconversation I just recently had
where a friend of mine wasreflecting some of the same
(14:45):
issues and I don't want to callthem issues, but the same things
I've started to work on or havebeen working on and I remember
listening to her as she sharedand at one point I told her I
can see why we're friends, I cansee why we connected, and it's
because we have the same thingswe're working on in this
(15:07):
lifetime, it's thisconsciousness, that we're able
to ping pong back and forthwhat's working, what is helping
that person, what's working,what is helping that person.
And while not every tip, toolor trick will work for you,
having that connection over thereal, the raw, the vulnerable,
(15:28):
is what is actually important.
So I just really want to remindyou guys because this is
something that's been comingthrough for me is everyone has a
unique curriculum.
We're in this earth school for areason.
We came here for a differentlesson.
(15:48):
We came here for growth right,and that growth entails us to
learn what we're learning butalso share it and share the
journey along the way.
So what makes a consciouscommunity?
(16:09):
I would start off with justhaving a shared intention.
Those who are in my consciouscommunities that I have really
connected with are people I havemet through different phases of
my life, through differentgrowth journeys, and have
connected with, regardless oftheir age or my age, because I
(16:32):
have friends that are 30, 30like myself and friends who are
pushing their 50s and for me, Ican learn something from each
one in the middle.
So my point is it wasn't aboutthe typical age range and
whatnot.
It was about the fact that wehave a set intention together.
(16:54):
It was about the fact that wehave a set intention together.
We met through differentconscious communities as it
existed.
Most of them came from like theTony Robbins world or just
different events I've attended,personal growth Courses I've
taken and people I've alignedwith and have met on.
Zoom can become a consciouscommunity.
(17:16):
It doesn't have to be thepeople that you're necessarily
surrounding yourself with on aday-to-day wobble.
In fact, I have a running jokenow Most of my text messages
tend to hit around 5 to 8 am mytime.
I live on the West Coast.
People I'm really close withare living on the East Coast,
(17:37):
and the point with this is westill feel like we're together
and we're in this together,regardless of the miles and the
distance between us.
So just set an intention.
If this is what you're callingin right now, for the people and
the energy that you're going tocall in, what are they like?
(17:58):
What are they growing through?
And, as part of that, you justhave to create a safe space.
And I really want to hold homenow on this one, because one of
the top feedbacks I got was youmake me feel like I can tell you
anything without judgment, andI can honestly say that's one of
(18:21):
my favorite compliments I'veever received, because that
means the person feels safe,especially when we're talking
about vulnerabilities and I'msharing with you the parts of
life that don't look curated.
That is, what's necessary is asafe space, presence, the
(18:44):
ability to listen, to hone in,but, with.
That being said, there's alwaysboundaries and agreements that
are making those spaces safe.
I always recommend just allowingpeople to talk and not
(19:04):
interrupt them, and I thinkthere's a beautiful thing in
asking specifically,specifically do you want to have
feedback in this moment or doyou want me to just hold the
space?
Because there is a differenceand, for me, I've had moments
(19:27):
where I've needed someone tocoach me and to guide me as I
was processing, but I've alsohad moments where I just needed
to say what I needed to say andto be witnessed.
So there's that difference of doyou need support or do you need
guidance, and I think abeautiful part of this is it
(19:51):
should be mutual support andaccountability.
Having people that you can tellyour goals and your dreams to,
or what you're working on, andhaving them hold you accountable
.
Having them not necessarilychecking on whether or not
you're doing it, but havingpeople who can ask you about a
(20:16):
project that you said you weregoing to start, five, six months
down the line, to be like, hey,did you ever actually start
that?
What's the status on that?
Where are you taking this?
I think, when we're a part ofthese online communities,
there's something magical aboutbeing able to see the growth
(20:38):
within different people and itjust is a beautiful way of
creating friendship.
I had a friend who reached outto me and we were having this
heart-to-heart and because we'vemet through networking and just
having been in the right spaceat the right time.
(21:01):
But it was a personaldevelopment space and she was
like you know, I want toappreciate you for a moment
because a lot of people I've metI thought were friends, but it
turned out they were looking atme as just like a client our
friends but it turned out theywere looking at me as just like
(21:23):
a client, and sometimes it'sgood to just find your soul home
and find the people that makeyour soul sing, because business
is great, but so is a realconnection, and sometimes you
have to decipher, and for meit's always intuitive.
I have to feel is this person aclient potential, or can I just
(21:48):
be real and authentically messywith them and share this
journey along the way?
And there's something sobeautiful in that.
So, final steps, I'm gonnarecommend just start auditing
your current circle.
Who gives you energy, who feelslike it drains you?
(22:17):
And, with that being said, whatseason are your relationships in
?
Do you feel like you're in aspringtime, where things are
budding and you're starting tosee the fruits of your labor, or
planting the seeds?
Is it summertime You'restarting to actually see the
fruits of your labor?
Is it's summertime, you'restarting to actually see the
fruits of your labor?
Are you in winter, stillplanting the seeds, but maybe
(22:40):
not having seen anything?
Are you going through a toughtime and start embodying the
energy of the friend you want toattract, of the conscious
collective you're bringing in?
Start to be that person whochecks in on people, who's there
for people, who holds peopleaccountable, who motivates and
(23:04):
inspires them.
Because when we pour intoourselves, into others excuse me
, not ourselves from up yourplace of I just want to serve
you.
I just want to connect with you.
I want to see you grow there'ssomething so beautiful in that
and, lastly, just nurture therelationships, create gathering
(23:29):
points with them, whether that'sa Zoom call these days or take
time to actually set up a coffeedate and honestly riff off
ideas.
I think there's something sobeautiful in having these
moments where we connect andgenuinely just interact and feel
(23:50):
how grateful it is to be inalignment with people, to
understand your journey and ifyou do hit points where you
disagree or you havemisalignment, address that
head-on.
Conscious does not mean conflictavoidant.
(24:10):
It means conflict is handledwith love, it's handled with
care, it's handled by actuallyaddressing what you need to
address.
I learned that the biggestthing that can deteriorate a
relationship is not being honest.
I hope you guys enjoyed this.
(24:32):
I did not mean to go on such along-winded rant, but for me,
I've really realized havingamazing people along my journey
is what helps me keep going.
(24:58):
Take one step to find a newfriend, a new community you can
be a part of, whether that'sjoining a membership online or
interacting and initiating acoffee chat with someone you
already know.
But reach out to someone andstart making the aligned actions
and interactions connections.
Aligned actions andinteractions connections Create
(25:18):
space for deep conversations.
We don't need more of thesurface level how's the weather
in Vegas today?
And invite them to startsharing their visions with you.
If this episode moved you, ifyou got something from it,
(25:46):
please let me know.
I would love to hear yourfeedback and, honestly, I'm just
so grateful I get to do thisweek over week.
Thank you for tuning in anduntil next time, if you can
leave a review, rate it and letme know your thoughts.
I am so grateful for theability to do this and that is
all for now.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Thank you for rising with me today.
If this episode moved, youshare it.
Tag me at AriseWithAnita andmake sure to subscribe so you
never miss a future activation,and if you feel cold, leave a
quick review.
It helps more women find thespace and rise into their power.
Your next level is alreadywaiting.
Now go claim it.
I'll see you in the nextepisode.
Welcome to the Rise With Anita podcast, the space
where soul meets strategy anddreams are no longer optional.
I'm your host, anitaKurdayan-Kurges, a
transformational mindset coachand founder of the Her Method.
This show is for the woman whoknows she's meant for more, who
feels the call to rise higherbut sometimes feels trapped by
her old stories, patterns orcircumstances.
(00:22):
Here we don't just talk aboutgrowth, we embody it.
We activate the woman inside ofyou who leads, who creates, who
claims her next level.
You'll hear a mix of soulepisodes from me and interviews
with soul-driven leaders, thebest in their fields, who live
what they teach and rise byexample.
Each conversation is a catalystfor your next breakthrough.
You're not broken.
(00:43):
You're breaking through.
Let's go ahead and risetogether.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Welcome back to the Rise with Anita podcast.
I am so excited for thisepisode because not only is it
timely in my own life in thesense that I had this
realization of what an amazingcommunity I've built.
I've spent the better part ofthis last year, especially the
(01:11):
better part of the last fourmonths, really focused on
cultivating and nourishingrelationships and friendships
that are going to be what I callbuilding a community.
That's conscious, sounds great,but what do I mean by that?
(01:34):
So, if you're sitting herewondering, it's the people in
your circle whether that'smentors, friends, family members
are going to be the ones to notonly be real with you but to be
able to be there.
(01:54):
When you are in a funk, in amoment where life is changing
and you're in a transition,perhaps if you're in a season
that's actually going freaking,phenomenal these are the people
(02:15):
who are there to encourage you,to love on you, to show you what
you might be missing, right,you, what you might be missing,
right.
So what do I mean?
What you might be missing?
If you're like me and here'swhere I'm going to get
(02:40):
vulnerable with you guys I hadand am still working through a
prove-it mentality.
I will prove to you, I willearn my place in this world, and
this is something very real andraw.
So I just I want to take asecond before I dive really deep
(03:05):
here to acknowledge one thing,and that is part of this
podcasting journey for me is mesharing my own growth with you,
but also showing you how I'mgetting out of things, how I am
managing things.
(03:29):
How I am managing and a bigpart of this phase is really
acknowledging that I have someamazing people in my life right
now, which Jim Brown has a quotethe five people you spend the
most time with is who you willbe most likely to become, and so
for me, with that knowing, withbeing in a season of transition
, I realized I needed to startto be selective of who I'm
(03:56):
allowing into my corner, but notfrom a stance of are they
benefiting just my growth?
I look at it right now.
I've raised such standards thatI'm in a place that it's not
just do we align on our values,though that's a big part of it,
(04:19):
it's.
Do I accept the way I'm beingtreated in these relationships?
Do I accept the terms andconditions that are on myself,
my standards right now, where Ineed to be in order to grow,
stretch and improve my life.
(04:39):
So a conscious community is,for me, the people who are going
to uplift you.
They're going to look at youand tell you you're bullshit.
They're going to be the ones topoint out where you can grow,
but also where you're alreadyamazing.
(05:00):
Amazing, and the way that Irealized and discovered that I
actually had built this is I washaving a conversation over the
last week with someone veryimportant to me and they pointed
out that I still had a bit ofthat prove it mentality,
(05:32):
mentality, and I thought abouthow part of my life's lessons
for this lifetime is todisengage and disassociate from
that lesson of always earningand proving my worth, because a
big mic drop.
Realization I had is no matterhow much you attempt to prove
yourself to someone else,realization I had is no matter
how much you attempt to proveyourself to someone else, when
your anything bite you, you'regoing to lose your authenticity.
(05:52):
You're going to lose who youare in that process if you are
not careful, especially if youare altering who you are to fit
someone else's mold.
So that realization alone mademe ask a few of these amazing
friends I had when you think ofme, what do you think?
(06:16):
And this was not.
I want to also acknowledge onething, though this was not from
a baited place of tell me howgreat I am.
It was.
I want to understand myselfbetter.
I want to see what other peoplesee in me.
And on the flicker of that, Ialso asked what I can improve.
(06:37):
Now I knew I was doingsomething right when I was able
to have the same answers comeacross.
I believe it was six differentpeople, which half of them don't
(06:57):
know each other and have notinteracted with each other.
And the core question I askedoutside of accomplishments,
because I wanted to know myessence.
I wanted to understand what Iwas maybe not seeing about
myself Outside ofaccomplishments.
Who am I?
(07:18):
What do you think of when youthink of me?
And the answers?
Honestly, I challenge everyperson listening to this.
If you're having a moment whereyou're having uncertainty about
yourself or you're in atransition, borrow someone
else's belief.
This was actually a topic Ijust talked on with a person
(07:41):
who's coming out to the podcast.
So, if we think about it, ourcommunity, who we surround
ourselves with, is literallythose who are going to help us
(08:01):
sail our boats or sink it.
Right, if you have voices inyour ear.
Right, if you have voices inyour ear that are telling you
what you cannot do or are asource of doubt, that doubt will
start to penetrate your mind.
But if you have people who areable to combat and be in this
(08:28):
what I call buffer position of Ican tell you the truth, but I
can tell you what's great aboutyou or how you can improve it.
That is where the success lies.
So right now, I want you totake a moment and, as we're
having this discussion, justpause and think about who in my
life is actually playing a roleof a buffer, a conscious
(08:56):
community member, someone wholifts me up.
There's a mentor.
I have that.
At the beginning of the year shewas having us write out our
people who are in our lives andshe had two columns we had.
It was basically your heroes orthose who are your confidants,
(09:23):
those you can go to withanything much like what I'm
saying right now, your consciouscommunity.
And on the other end, it waswho is it that I need to let go
of or maybe just distance from,because who you surround
(09:50):
yourself with is who you become,and I know I said that already
in this episode.
So I just realized so much ofmy life has been transformed by
the people that's in my liferight now and when we think
about it.
Why is this human connection soneeded?
It's because we are in need ofconnection, but we need
connections that add life to us,that speak life to us, that are
(10:13):
able to remind ourselves inthose moments of, to remind
ourselves in those moments ofI'm losing my doubt, to have
someone just speak life over you.
Recently, I was in a seasonwhere the doubt had hit me
harder than it had in a verylong time, and normally I myself
(10:38):
would just use all my tips,tricks and tools, and in that
moment, because I had it pointedout to me I ended up reaching
out to someone that I caredabout, and I was like, hey, I
usually don't come to you inmid-process, but I'm
experiencing doubt in thiscapacity and I just need you to
(11:02):
hold space for it and just beingable to share and be able to
witness, be witnessed.
What a beautiful reminder thatwe don't need to always look
like we have it together.
There's something to be saidabout processing and leaning on
(11:27):
your community and relying onpeople and allowing yourself to
be seen in that light, and, ifwe look at it, humans have a
need for belonging right.
It's part of our root chakrawisdom.
(11:47):
It's part of us meeting thatfundamental need of wanting to
be seen, wanting to connect,wanting to have real
conversations, but if we're notopen to being vulnerable, we're
not able to have thoseconversations.
(12:08):
Our nervous system and sense ofsafety are literally
co-regulated by others.
The people that are around youcan affect your baseline.
So what I'm learning, though andthis is where I say the HER
(12:28):
method really embodieseverything that I really want to
teach on, and that is like acheck, like, if you look at HER
method like a checked like.
If you look at her method healand body rise it comes down to
really owning the fact that therising is that manifestation
(12:49):
process taking root and herhealing.
Embodying is just the journeyto get there.
Embodying is just the journeyto get there.
So, from relationshipprinciples, we're working on
being worthy of that type ofrelationship, and when I say
worthy, I don't mean you have tobe something more than you're
(13:12):
not.
The whole point and this is whyI started off with the reality
of me having that provingmentality that I'm shaking off,
that I'm working through is it'snot that you're worthy by
needing to change yourself foryour relationships.
You're already inherentlyworthy and you have to start
(13:34):
honing them from the get-go.
So, if you think about it, thepeople we align with that we
truly align with I'm not talkingabout people that you have to
change yourself to be around.
They reflect your values, theystart to reflect your beliefs,
they reflect the level ofconsciousness I don't know if
(13:57):
you've ever had it where youfollow someone on social media
or you are around someone andyou're going through the same
thing, or you're having similarconversations.
Because of the consciousnessthat you're vibrating at you,
tap into a different frequency,and these are all big words but
essentially like attracts, likeYou'll end up finding the people
(14:20):
who are meant for you at theright time.
Friends connect as mirrors foryour strengths, blind spots,
your limiting beliefs.
I think there was a beautifulconversation I just recently had
where a friend of mine wasreflecting some of the same
(14:45):
issues and I don't want to callthem issues, but the same things
I've started to work on or havebeen working on and I remember
listening to her as she sharedand at one point I told her I
can see why we're friends, I cansee why we connected, and it's
because we have the same thingswe're working on in this
(15:07):
lifetime, it's thisconsciousness, that we're able
to ping pong back and forthwhat's working, what is helping
that person, what's working,what is helping that person.
And while not every tip, toolor trick will work for you,
having that connection over thereal, the raw, the vulnerable,
(15:28):
is what is actually important.
So I just really want to remindyou guys because this is
something that's been comingthrough for me is everyone has a
unique curriculum.
We're in this earth school for areason.
We came here for a differentlesson.
(15:48):
We came here for growth right,and that growth entails us to
learn what we're learning butalso share it and share the
journey along the way.
So what makes a consciouscommunity?
(16:09):
I would start off with justhaving a shared intention.
Those who are in my consciouscommunities that I have really
connected with are people I havemet through different phases of
my life, through differentgrowth journeys, and have
connected with, regardless oftheir age or my age, because I
(16:32):
have friends that are 30, 30like myself and friends who are
pushing their 50s and for me, Ican learn something from each
one in the middle.
So my point is it wasn't aboutthe typical age range and
whatnot.
It was about the fact that wehave a set intention together.
(16:54):
It was about the fact that wehave a set intention together.
We met through differentconscious communities as it
existed.
Most of them came from like theTony Robbins world or just
different events I've attended,personal growth Courses I've
taken and people I've alignedwith and have met on.
Zoom can become a consciouscommunity.
(17:16):
It doesn't have to be thepeople that you're necessarily
surrounding yourself with on aday-to-day wobble.
In fact, I have a running jokenow Most of my text messages
tend to hit around 5 to 8 am mytime.
I live on the West Coast.
People I'm really close withare living on the East Coast,
(17:37):
and the point with this is westill feel like we're together
and we're in this together,regardless of the miles and the
distance between us.
So just set an intention.
If this is what you're callingin right now, for the people and
the energy that you're going tocall in, what are they like?
(17:58):
What are they growing through?
And, as part of that, you justhave to create a safe space.
And I really want to hold homenow on this one, because one of
the top feedbacks I got was youmake me feel like I can tell you
anything without judgment, andI can honestly say that's one of
(18:21):
my favorite compliments I'veever received, because that
means the person feels safe,especially when we're talking
about vulnerabilities and I'msharing with you the parts of
life that don't look curated.
That is, what's necessary is asafe space, presence, the
(18:44):
ability to listen, to hone in,but, with.
That being said, there's alwaysboundaries and agreements that
are making those spaces safe.
I always recommend just allowingpeople to talk and not
(19:04):
interrupt them, and I thinkthere's a beautiful thing in
asking specifically,specifically do you want to have
feedback in this moment or doyou want me to just hold the
space?
Because there is a differenceand, for me, I've had moments
(19:27):
where I've needed someone tocoach me and to guide me as I
was processing, but I've alsohad moments where I just needed
to say what I needed to say andto be witnessed.
So there's that difference of doyou need support or do you need
guidance, and I think abeautiful part of this is it
(19:51):
should be mutual support andaccountability.
Having people that you can tellyour goals and your dreams to,
or what you're working on, andhaving them hold you accountable
.
Having them not necessarilychecking on whether or not
you're doing it, but havingpeople who can ask you about a
(20:16):
project that you said you weregoing to start, five, six months
down the line, to be like, hey,did you ever actually start
that?
What's the status on that?
Where are you taking this?
I think, when we're a part ofthese online communities,
there's something magical aboutbeing able to see the growth
(20:38):
within different people and itjust is a beautiful way of
creating friendship.
I had a friend who reached outto me and we were having this
heart-to-heart and because we'vemet through networking and just
having been in the right spaceat the right time.
(21:01):
But it was a personaldevelopment space and she was
like you know, I want toappreciate you for a moment
because a lot of people I've metI thought were friends, but it
turned out they were looking atme as just like a client our
friends but it turned out theywere looking at me as just like
(21:23):
a client, and sometimes it'sgood to just find your soul home
and find the people that makeyour soul sing, because business
is great, but so is a realconnection, and sometimes you
have to decipher, and for meit's always intuitive.
I have to feel is this person aclient potential, or can I just
(21:48):
be real and authentically messywith them and share this
journey along the way?
And there's something sobeautiful in that.
So, final steps, I'm gonnarecommend just start auditing
your current circle.
Who gives you energy, who feelslike it drains you?
(22:17):
And, with that being said, whatseason are your relationships in
?
Do you feel like you're in aspringtime, where things are
budding and you're starting tosee the fruits of your labor, or
planting the seeds?
Is it summertime You'restarting to actually see the
fruits of your labor?
Is it's summertime, you'restarting to actually see the
fruits of your labor?
Are you in winter, stillplanting the seeds, but maybe
(22:40):
not having seen anything?
Are you going through a toughtime and start embodying the
energy of the friend you want toattract, of the conscious
collective you're bringing in?
Start to be that person whochecks in on people, who's there
for people, who holds peopleaccountable, who motivates and
(23:04):
inspires them.
Because when we pour intoourselves, into others excuse me
, not ourselves from up yourplace of I just want to serve
you.
I just want to connect with you.
I want to see you grow there'ssomething so beautiful in that
and, lastly, just nurture therelationships, create gathering
(23:29):
points with them, whether that'sa Zoom call these days or take
time to actually set up a coffeedate and honestly riff off
ideas.
I think there's something sobeautiful in having these
moments where we connect andgenuinely just interact and feel
(23:50):
how grateful it is to be inalignment with people, to
understand your journey and ifyou do hit points where you
disagree or you havemisalignment, address that
head-on.
Conscious does not mean conflictavoidant.
(24:10):
It means conflict is handledwith love, it's handled with
care, it's handled by actuallyaddressing what you need to
address.
I learned that the biggestthing that can deteriorate a
relationship is not being honest.
I hope you guys enjoyed this.
(24:32):
I did not mean to go on such along-winded rant, but for me,
I've really realized havingamazing people along my journey
is what helps me keep going.
(24:58):
Take one step to find a newfriend, a new community you can
be a part of, whether that'sjoining a membership online or
interacting and initiating acoffee chat with someone you
already know.
But reach out to someone andstart making the aligned actions
and interactions connections.
Aligned actions andinteractions connections Create
(25:18):
space for deep conversations.
We don't need more of thesurface level how's the weather
in Vegas today?
And invite them to startsharing their visions with you.
If this episode moved you, ifyou got something from it,
(25:46):
please let me know.
I would love to hear yourfeedback and, honestly, I'm just
so grateful I get to do thisweek over week.
Thank you for tuning in anduntil next time, if you can
leave a review, rate it and letme know your thoughts.
I am so grateful for theability to do this and that is
all for now.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Thank you for rising with me today.
If this episode moved, youshare it.
Tag me at AriseWithAnita andmake sure to subscribe so you
never miss a future activation,and if you feel cold, leave a
quick review.
It helps more women find thespace and rise into their power.
Your next level is alreadywaiting.
Now go claim it.
I'll see you in the nextepisode.
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