249. You Built It…Now You’re Scared to Share It? Let’s Fix That.

You know that electric rush when you finally build the business you’ve been dreaming about? And then, right as you’re about to tell people… you freeze?

In this episode, Carly and Joe dive into one of the least discussed but most universal solopreneur struggles: the fear of actually putting yourself out there. Why do so many solopreneurs, yes, even the wildly successful ones, get stuck right at the moment visibility matters most?

From perfectionism to vulnerability to the dread of “seeming salesy,” we break down why this happens, the hidden costs of staying quiet, and the powerful mindset shifts that help you move forward with confidence (including why “I’m not selling-I’m helping” changes everything).

If you’ve ever hesitated to hit publish, announce your business, or send that first promo email, this conversation is going to feel like a giant exhale. You’re not alone, and after this episode, you won’t stay stuck.

FAQs From The Episode

How do I promote my business without feeling salesy or annoying?

Absolutely, this comes up constantly. The key is reframing. Promotion isn’t about pushing; it’s about helping. Share stories, tips, and solutions that genuinely support your audience. If your intent is to serve, people won’t experience your message as “salesy," they’ll experience it as valuable. And the people who aren’t your ideal clients? They’ll self-select out. That’s a good thing.

What if my work isn’t perfect yet? Should I wait until it’s ready?

Short answer: No. Long answer: still no. Perfectionism is fear wearing a fancy outfit. Your audience can’t benefit from what they can’t see. Put the version out that is good enough to help someone right now. Then improve it based on real feedback instead of imagined critique. Visibility creates clarity.

How do I get comfortable being visible if it feels so vulnerable?

Start in your comfort zone and expand outward. If video feels like jumping off a cliff, start with written posts. If posting publicly feels overwhelming, start by sharing with a small circle. Momentum comes from micro-bravery. And remember: every solopreneur you admire felt this same discomfort. It’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong; it’s a sign you’re doing it.

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Episode Transcript

Carly Ries (00:00):
What if the scariest part of building your business

(00:02):
isn't the strategy, the tech, orthe sales, but simply telling
people it exists? In thisepisode, Joe and I break down
the invisible force that stopsso many solopreneurs from
sharing their work with theworld, and that is the fear of
being seen. From perfectionismto vulnerability hangovers to
the worry of looking salesy, weunpack the real reason
solopreneurs hesitate to gopublic and the massive

(00:24):
opportunities that disappearwhen they hide. If you've ever
felt excited to build yourbusiness but terrified to
announce it, this conversationwill help you reframe visibility
as service, take back yourconfidence, and finally get your
work out there. You're listeningto The Aspiring Solopreneur, the
podcast for anyone on the solobusiness journey, whether you're

(00:44):
just toying with the idea,taking your first bold step, or
have been running your own showfor years and want to keep
growing, refining, and thriving.
I'm Carly Ries, and along withmy cohost, Joe Rando, we're your
guides through the crazy butawesome world of being a company
of one. As part of LifeStarr, adigital hub dedicated to all
things solopreneurship, we helppeople design businesses that

(01:07):
align with their life'sambitions so they can work to
live, not live to work. Ifyou're looking for a get rich
quick scheme, this is not theplace for you. But if you want
real world insights fromindustry experts, lessons from
the successes and stumbles offellow solopreneurs, and
practical strategies forbuilding and sustaining a
business you love, you're in theright spot. Because flying solo

(01:27):
in business doesn't mean you'realone.
No matter where you are in yourjourney, we've got your back.

(02:15):
Joe, we work with hundreds ofsolopreneurs at this point in
our community and and eventhousands beyond that with
people that receive ournewsletter, people we've talked
to on their show. Like we've hada lot of solopreneur time. we
try to find patterns between thepeople we talk to. And something
that I have found fascinating isthat people get so excited to

(02:36):
build their business, but thenthey get so scared to actually
put their business out there.
And tell their friends, telltheir family. We've had a few
podcast guests who are verysuccessful, who really struggled
with that in the beginning. So Ijust wanted to cover that topic
today because I think it'ssomething a lot of people
experience, but not a lot ofpeople talk about. We talk about

(02:57):
impostor syndrome and all that,but there's a genuine fear, like
a vulnerability of being visibleto your audience once it's ready
to go. Do you have thoughts?

Joe Rando (03:07):
Yeah. I have a few. I think there are a couple of
different ways that this, youknow, root causes, I guess, and
ways that it manifests. But oneof the root causes is
perfectionism. So it's notperfect. And I'm guilty of that.
I've been struggling with thatmy whole life. just it's not
perfect, and therefore, it isn'tready. And sometimes you just

(03:28):
gotta get it out there andfigure out which imperfections
are actually relevant to yourcustomer, because they might not
all be. so that's one thatreally, I think, holds a lot of
people back. There's that fear,like you said, of vulnerability
of being being out there andmaybe being criticized. That can

(03:49):
be really scary. And I think thethird one that pops into my head
is the idea that, oh, I don'twanna seem salesy. I don't seem
like I'm selling to people.
And Then they're gonna be like,oh, he's just trying to sell me
stuff. It's like, oh, it's likeAmway. You know?
They're trying to just treatfriends as customers. And,

(04:12):
they've all got, you know, acore validity. Right? I mean,
people aren't crazy for thinkingthese things.

Carly Ries (04:18):
Oh, no. Not at all. I mean, I think that's why so
many people experience it. But Ithink it creeps up on people.
Because I think they leavecorporate America, they start
their own thing, they're reallyexcited.
And I think, like oh, I actuallyhave to show people this. I
think it catches them off guard,it's a fear that they don't
realize they have until theyhave to face it. But I agree

(04:39):
with you on everything you said,but there are real costs to
that, obviously. And I think,you miss opportunities with
clients, partnerships, I mean PReven, getting your name out
there. And I think you have tokeep all these missed
opportunities in mind as a wayto help overcome them.
I mean, you can be so impactfulif you reframe it as, I'm not

(05:04):
selling, I'm helping. If I don'tput myself out there, then the
people that I serve will notbenefit. And think of everything
you do for your business aslike, I'm not selling, I
genuinely need to give peoplethis product or service because
they need it, and I'm the onethat's gonna get it for them. So
if you reframe it as, I'mhelping people, it is amazing. I

(05:30):
feel like I'm gonna make thisstat up because this is not a
known stat.
But I feel like 90% ofentrepreneurship is just a mind
game.

Joe Rando (05:39):
I'm pretty sure it's 93.241%.

Carly Ries (05:42):
There it is. There it is. Source unknown. But I
think if you could reframe thatmentally instead of being like,
oh, I'm gonna get exposed, it'sI'm gonna be helping people. And
then instead of I might fallflat on my face if people see
what I'm doing, every mistakedon't look at it as a mistake.
actually there's somebody Ifollow on LinkedIn. She just

(06:02):
said this today. She was like, Ionly know about winning and
learning. There's no losing.Because anytime you feel like
you're losing or failing atsomething, it's just a learning
experience that you can use toeducate yourself, pivot, and
keep moving forward.
And even my daughter the otherday, she was struggling with a

(06:22):
math problem. And she was like,what if I mess up a thousand
times? And I was like, wellthen, you're a thousand times
closer to getting the rightanswer. And so just reframing
that. I Feel like I'm ramblingat this point, but it's just
such a shift in perspective thatI think can help people overcome
that vulnerability feeling. Imean, yeah, just to kind of add

(06:44):
on to that, I think an importantaspect of this is, that you're
saying, I'm helping people.

Joe Rando (06:50):
So as long as you're thinking about that clearly,
that you are trying to helppeople, that it's not just a
mantra, but actually what you'redoing. And, therefore, you're
willing to walk away from peoplethat don't really need your
service. You're not pushing andpitching people that really
don't need what you're doing.And the people that are, you're
trying to help them.
And you wanna help them for freeto some degree to engage them

(07:12):
and to let them, trust you andresonate with you. But then you
don't wanna give away the farmeither because, you know, you
gotta make money. So you'vegotta have this kind of line
that you draw. You put it outthere. Here are some free things
to show that, I'm helpful.
And then here's the line where,oh, now we need to engage. And
don't be afraid of that. It'sokay. Anybody that thinks that

(07:34):
you shouldn't get paid for thehard work that you do and all
the experience you've had inyour life up to date, they're
not real.
They're thinking clearly. Weneed to be paid for our work,
because otherwise we don't eat.

Carly Ries (07:50):
Well, and I think there are two other things I
wanna say. People I think alsoget scared because they're doing
something that's really out oftheir comfort zone. So try to do
things that are really authenticto you to start, and then grow
from there. So if you'reterrified of video, which so
many people are, then start witha written LinkedIn post or
something.

(08:10):
And work your way up. Start inyour comfort zone, so that you
can work up to that scary out ofyour comfort zone feeling, just
get started. The other thing Iwould say, again, ninety two
point three four, whatever yousaid, percent of entrepreneurs
are uncomfortable. Nobody'scomfortable putting themselves
out there at the beginning.maybe they're excited about it,

(08:32):
but it's an uncomfortable place.It just is. You're putting
something new out there as asolopreneur that's very very
personal. So just know you'renot alone. This is something
that most solopreneurs, at leastmost solopreneurs we talk to,
experience,
Anything else you wanna add?

Joe Rando (08:49):
I think we got it. I think we covered it.

Carly Ries (08:51):
Perfect. We just wanted to put that out there
because we've been hearing it alot lately, so just know you're
not alone, and we got you.Listeners, thank you so much for
tuning in. As always, pleaseleave that five star review,
share this episode with afriend, and subscribe to the
show on your favorite podcastplatform, including YouTube. And
we'll see you next time on theAspiring Solopreneur.

(09:16):
You may be going solo inbusiness, but that doesn't mean
you're alone. In fact, millionsof people are in your shoes,
running a one person businessand figuring it out as they go.
So why not connect with them andlearn from each other's
successes and failures? AtLifeStarr, we're creating a one
person business community whereyou can go to meet and get
advice from other solopreneurs.Be sure to join in on the

(09:36):
conversations atcommunity.lifestarr.com.