Episode #122 - Why Men Pull Away: Unpacking Fear, Intimacy & Masculine Conditioning
In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Avrum Weiss, psychotherapist and award-winning author of Hidden in Plain Sight: How Men’s Fears of Women Shape Their Intimate Relationships. This conversation dives into the emotional landscape that many men carry but rarely talk about—fears that can profoundly affect the way they connect with women and show up in intimate relationships. We explore fears of being controlled, overwhelmed by emotion, not being enough, or being left. While these fears are often hidden, they quietly influence so many relational dynamics.
Avrum and I discuss how traditional socialization teaches boys to shut down emotionally, how that creates barriers to true intimacy, and what’s needed for men to feel emotionally safe and seen. We also touch on how these patterns shift across generations, and why creating space for emotional literacy and community support is essential—not just for men, but for all of us.
Whether you're in a relationship, raising boys, or simply seeking to understand the masculine emotional experience more deeply, this episode offers a compassionate and eye-opening perspective on what’s really going on beneath the surface—and how we can all relate with more awareness and heart.
Sound Bites
"Men fear being controlled by women."
"Men are often emotionally unavailable."
"We all suffer under the same system."
Takeaways
- Many men fear being controlled by women in relationships.
- Men are often socialized to suppress their emotions.
- Understanding men's fears can improve relationship dynamics.
- Women often misinterpret men's withdrawal as disinterest.
- Men's emotional needs are often overlooked in society.
- The importance of emotional literacy for both genders.
- Community support is crucial for emotional well-being.
- Generational changes are leading to more emotionally aware men.
- Men benefit significantly from close relationships and marriage.
- Awareness of emotional dynamics can lead to healthier relationships.
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