April 10, 2024 • 11 mins
Bare with Meredith this week, she was in a lot of pain when she recorded and edited this episode!
With a full week of estrogen priming under her belt, Meredith talks through the pain she’s experiencing, updates on third party clearance for Kindbody, and refreshes the “What do we call Michael?” situation.
ITEMS MENTIONED:
IKEA Klipsk Bed Bed Tray: https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/klipsk-bed-tray-white-00258882/
Read the full blog post for this episode - https://backupplanpod.com/30-estrogen-priming
---
I'm becoming a single mother by choice using a known donor; I'm so stoked to be having a baby with my gay best friend. After a few tries with the turkey baster in 2023, I turned to IVF in Spring of 2024.
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Created, produced and hosted by Meredith Kate, co-produced by Julian Hagins.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
In college, my gay best friend and I joked that if
we hadn't found love by 40, we'dhave a baby with each other 20
years later.
I'm pulling the ripcord Fromdeciding on solo motherhood to
choosing IVF.
I'm Meredith and this is theBackup Plan.
This is my second week oftaking medication for IVF.
I'm taking Estradiol, which yousaw me take in the last episode
(00:23):
.
That first pill, it is thegeneric version of Estros.
So you may be asking yourself,as I asked myself, what is
estrogen priming?
So I'm going to give you alittle primer here.
This is from a Polish website,but Polish women's bodies are
the same as mine.
So, estrogen priming protocolthis is the protocol in which
(00:45):
estrogen pills are used in thecycle before planned stimulation
Following ovulation.
Estrogen pills are usually takenin the amount of two times two
milligrams.
True, I've been taking one inthe morning and at night.
This is usually administered towomen with low ovarian reserve.
It down regulates the growth offollicles, thus increasing
their number available forstimulation.
(01:06):
In addition, it bettercoordinates the growth of the
follicle and possibly increasesthe number of eggs to be
collected.
So look, it's worth the priceof admission.
That being said, this has beenthis has been a terrible week
like awful.
I have never had back pain likethis.
So I started doing researchonline.
(01:28):
It's like what are the sideeffects of Estradiol, of Estros,
estrace, estridol, whateverthese pills?
And I didn't find anybodyreally talking about back pain
as much.
I did find one or two websitesthat did mention it said there
was a low chance of that as aside effect.
(01:49):
It did say that the sideeffects that you get during your
period are increased, andthat's true.
Normally the first day of myperiod I have like a you know, a
little bit of a crampiness,just a little bit.
Usually my gut is very churnyduring that time, but my gut's
always churny.
I have had pain in my backthat's so bad that it feels like
(02:12):
all of the vertebrae in my backare like condensed and like
bone on bone.
It hurts so bad.
Usually when I'm up and aboutduring the day, it's okay-ish.
It's when I'm going to bed atnight that I'm absolutely dying
and I can't really take painmedication for it because of the
(02:34):
antidepressant I'm on.
If I take Aleve or if I takeAspirin, my doctor's recommended
that I don't.
They say, just take Tylenol,which normally works for me.
Also.
I have my mother's arthritis.
Strength Tylenol here, nothingLike it's.
It's just terrible, it's awful.
And so at night what I havefound works best is a hot shower
(02:57):
, which I take, a shower beforeI go to bed every night, and
I've been falling asleep with aheating pad on.
But the problem is that in thedays leading up to my period I
have the night sweats so bad soI am just a sweaty, sweaty lady
with all of this body pain.
It feels like I've had a feverfor a week.
Basically it's awful.
(03:18):
So I'm getting like, I think,four or five hours of sleep a
night and then during the day Ijust feel like doing nothing
because I have no energy,because I'm getting like, I
think, four or five hours ofsleep a night and then during
the day I just feel like doingnothing because I have no energy
because I'm not sleeping.
So it's been really terrible.
But my period came last nightso I go in tomorrow to it's for
like an initial cycle treatment.
So what they're going to do istake my labs again so let's see
(03:41):
if my bruise is just healed frommy last blood taking.
So it takes more and I can'timagine a transvag ultrasound is
going to feel great in mycondition right now, but we're
doing it, it's going to be worthit.
The thing about these pills, andI emailed my doctor about it.
She said, do you want to stop?
And I was like I just I knowit's helpful, I know it's only
(04:05):
for this little bit of time Ican tough it out and so I'm
doing the best I can.
And just you know, sitting witha kitty on my lap over my
uterus and sitting with aheating pad on my back and just
like vegging out as best as Ican, I just trying to get
through it, I wonder if thiswill be the worst part of it for
me.
Could be, we'll see.
(04:27):
So injections will be coming upsoon, something I did decide to
get for myself.
I went to Ikea and I bought likea breakfast in bed tray because
I figured, if I do start theseshots laying down, like Ariana
and Carla have suggested, havinglike I have a side table by my
bed but having something likeliterally right next to me or
(04:48):
kind of like right on top of meis going to be easiest.
So I could have gotten justlike a you know $2 tray or
something, but I figured havinga little stand and if I have to
do any kind of bedrest.
Now I have a nice little trayto do.
That with.
Ikea is always good.
I also bought shelves for mycloset to do a little bit of
organization because I do likefind myself nesting.
I find myself like wanting todo these things around the house
(05:09):
to get things repaired while Ihave the time to do them.
That's why I thought some ofthis back pain was like maybe
painting the chimney or puttingthose bookshelves together.
But no, I've put together manyan IKEA product in my time and
it has not caused the kind ofpain that I'm feeling right now.
The other update I have thisweek is regarding all of the
(05:29):
different intake stuff that wehad to do with Michael that the
family planning team had droppedthe ball on so Michael's own
personal medical team could havesigned off on the third party
consent form saying that he isof sound mind to do this.
His doctor decided not to.
(05:50):
It has nothing to do with him.
She said it was because shedidn't know me and hadn't talked
to me and also didn't knowabout disposition rules for
embryos in different states,which kind of flagged to me a
little bit of uh, I don't, it'sjust a feeling I have not naming
who the person is.
I don't even know her name, soI couldn't if I wanted to, uh,
(06:12):
but it felt a little like shewas finding excuses not to sign
off on something like thisbecause of political feelings.
But maybe that's just me, maybethat's just me, maybe that's
just me, maybe that's just avibe I'm getting.
That's incorrect.
She was kind of hung up on someof the nomenclature of the form
, so like she was like well,here's this question.
It says that like you've talkedto Meredith about these things,
(06:34):
but I don't know how Meredithfeels about those things and I'm
like Michael called me withthis and I was very snappy at
him and I texted him andapologized and was like I'm not
mad at you, I'm just frustratedbecause I want to get this done.
No-transcript.
(06:57):
Yeah, okay, you understand yourend of it.
Meredith understands her end ofit.
Like there's no need for this,for his doctor to talk to me
about it.
It was just like hey, have youtalked to Meredith about this
thing?
Yeah, I have.
I feel good about it forreasons x, y, z.
Great consult for him at thelast minute.
(07:19):
He had it on Monday.
He said it was great, she wasvery nice.
They pushed again not to use theterm daddy, which, like I am
just to reiterate, like I amfine with that and I understand
that there are societalunderstandings that we have of
the word father and daddy, anddad and papa and whatever I get
(07:42):
that.
But like I don't mind buckingthose trends and I don't mind
having a very clearunderstanding with my kid from
the get go of, like, well, forsome people this is what daddy
means.
For other people, yeah, theyhave a dad that they call dad,
that walked out on them, andthey don't know him.
For us it's this guy who is,you know, mommy's very best
(08:05):
friend, he is family, he caresabout us very much and you know
he comes and visits us and we goand visit him and you know it's
fine, like that's what it is.
I don't mind establishing whatthat is from the very beginning,
from the very start.
There would never be to me anintroduction of like here's what
it means.
I've brought out thiswhiteboard, you know from the
(08:28):
very beginning, like he's, he'sdaddy or daddy, gay daddy, I
don't know.
Maybe we use our own term,maybe the baby calls him Mikey,
I don't, I don't know.
I am kind of open to seeingwhere things go with the
understanding of what it couldbe and what people think, and
that I don't always care aboutwhat people think and that it's
(08:50):
going to flesh itself out in itsown way, but I do think about
it a lot.
So, anyway, that's signed offon.
Thank God, I think that I getto sign a waiver to say that we
don't need a together consultbecause that would be like
another two or $300.
And like you've heard us talkabout this over and over, like
(09:12):
obviously we know what we're infor, so maybe I just send them
back at planpodcom and they cansee everything that we've talked
about over and over.
So those are the updates.
This week I kind of feel like,as I am on this uh,
rollercoaster ride or chuggachugga choo choo train, and each
(09:34):
week I'm making these differentstops and it's like here are
the things I did to my body thisweek, here are the symptoms I'm
feeling.
I kind of want to stray fromhaving guests and just let you
guys know.
And really for me, this is forme to to keep a diary of all of
the things that I did, becauseit's funny as those first couple
episodes are recorded like.
Even those are like so far inthe distance.
(09:56):
The way I felt about things haschanged so much that I still
need a little more distance fromthem.
I don't want to go back andlisten to them immediately,
because I hate listening tomyself, but it's nice to have an
audio slash sometimes videomemory book of all of the things
that I've gone through for thiswhole process.
So it's just gonna be me forthe next couple of weeks
(10:20):
hopefully, and then I will getpregnant and then I will have
more people on and I'll stillgive you updates about what's
going on with this bod.
But maybe then I'll have somemore people on for advice and
stuff, because that will betotally new territory and let's
just hope this works the firsttime around.
Let's just hope because this isI hope I don't have to do any
(10:40):
more estrogen priming ever againin my life until I get to
menopause and then I can decidewhatever I want to do with
myself then.
Thank you for listening.
Feel free to share yourexperiences, ask me questions or
give advice on Instagram and onYouTube is where I'm the most
active.
You can reach out on TikTokMaybe I will answer there, but
(11:03):
Instagram's better or reach outto me on my personal Instagram.
That's Meredith K and thenumber eight.
Thank you for listening andthank you for coping with me.
I didn't want to record thistoday and I'm going to edit it
as fast as I can and lay back onthe couch Because it's hard.
All right, thanks, guys.
The Backup Plan is created,produced and hosted by me,
(11:26):
meredith Kate.
Julian Hagans is my co producer.
You can find us on social mediaat BackupPlanPod.
The best place to get updatesis to sign up for our newsletter
at BackupPlanPodcom, where wealso post all episodes, show
notes and transcripts.
Thank you for listening.
In college, my gay best friend and I joked that if
we hadn't found love by 40, we'dhave a baby with each other 20
years later.
I'm pulling the ripcord Fromdeciding on solo motherhood to
choosing IVF.
I'm Meredith and this is theBackup Plan.
This is my second week oftaking medication for IVF.
I'm taking Estradiol, which yousaw me take in the last episode
(00:23):
.
That first pill, it is thegeneric version of Estros.
So you may be asking yourself,as I asked myself, what is
estrogen priming?
So I'm going to give you alittle primer here.
This is from a Polish website,but Polish women's bodies are
the same as mine.
So, estrogen priming protocolthis is the protocol in which
(00:45):
estrogen pills are used in thecycle before planned stimulation
Following ovulation.
Estrogen pills are usually takenin the amount of two times two
milligrams.
True, I've been taking one inthe morning and at night.
This is usually administered towomen with low ovarian reserve.
It down regulates the growth offollicles, thus increasing
their number available forstimulation.
(01:06):
In addition, it bettercoordinates the growth of the
follicle and possibly increasesthe number of eggs to be
collected.
So look, it's worth the priceof admission.
That being said, this has beenthis has been a terrible week
like awful.
I have never had back pain likethis.
So I started doing researchonline.
(01:28):
It's like what are the sideeffects of Estradiol, of Estros,
estrace, estridol, whateverthese pills?
And I didn't find anybodyreally talking about back pain
as much.
I did find one or two websitesthat did mention it said there
was a low chance of that as aside effect.
(01:49):
It did say that the sideeffects that you get during your
period are increased, andthat's true.
Normally the first day of myperiod I have like a you know, a
little bit of a crampiness,just a little bit.
Usually my gut is very churnyduring that time, but my gut's
always churny.
I have had pain in my backthat's so bad that it feels like
(02:12):
all of the vertebrae in my backare like condensed and like
bone on bone.
It hurts so bad.
Usually when I'm up and aboutduring the day, it's okay-ish.
It's when I'm going to bed atnight that I'm absolutely dying
and I can't really take painmedication for it because of the
(02:34):
antidepressant I'm on.
If I take Aleve or if I takeAspirin, my doctor's recommended
that I don't.
They say, just take Tylenol,which normally works for me.
Also.
I have my mother's arthritis.
Strength Tylenol here, nothingLike it's.
It's just terrible, it's awful.
And so at night what I havefound works best is a hot shower
(02:57):
, which I take, a shower beforeI go to bed every night, and
I've been falling asleep with aheating pad on.
But the problem is that in thedays leading up to my period I
have the night sweats so bad soI am just a sweaty, sweaty lady
with all of this body pain.
It feels like I've had a feverfor a week.
Basically it's awful.
(03:18):
So I'm getting like, I think,four or five hours of sleep a
night and then during the day Ijust feel like doing nothing
because I have no energy,because I'm getting like, I
think, four or five hours ofsleep a night and then during
the day I just feel like doingnothing because I have no energy
because I'm not sleeping.
So it's been really terrible.
But my period came last nightso I go in tomorrow to it's for
like an initial cycle treatment.
So what they're going to do istake my labs again so let's see
(03:41):
if my bruise is just healed frommy last blood taking.
So it takes more and I can'timagine a transvag ultrasound is
going to feel great in mycondition right now, but we're
doing it, it's going to be worthit.
The thing about these pills, andI emailed my doctor about it.
She said, do you want to stop?
And I was like I just I knowit's helpful, I know it's only
(04:05):
for this little bit of time Ican tough it out and so I'm
doing the best I can.
And just you know, sitting witha kitty on my lap over my
uterus and sitting with aheating pad on my back and just
like vegging out as best as Ican, I just trying to get
through it, I wonder if thiswill be the worst part of it for
me.
Could be, we'll see.
(04:27):
So injections will be coming upsoon, something I did decide to
get for myself.
I went to Ikea and I bought likea breakfast in bed tray because
I figured, if I do start theseshots laying down, like Ariana
and Carla have suggested, havinglike I have a side table by my
bed but having something likeliterally right next to me or
(04:48):
kind of like right on top of meis going to be easiest.
So I could have gotten justlike a you know $2 tray or
something, but I figured havinga little stand and if I have to
do any kind of bedrest.
Now I have a nice little trayto do.
That with.
Ikea is always good.
I also bought shelves for mycloset to do a little bit of
organization because I do likefind myself nesting.
I find myself like wanting todo these things around the house
(05:09):
to get things repaired while Ihave the time to do them.
That's why I thought some ofthis back pain was like maybe
painting the chimney or puttingthose bookshelves together.
But no, I've put together manyan IKEA product in my time and
it has not caused the kind ofpain that I'm feeling right now.
The other update I have thisweek is regarding all of the
(05:29):
different intake stuff that wehad to do with Michael that the
family planning team had droppedthe ball on so Michael's own
personal medical team could havesigned off on the third party
consent form saying that he isof sound mind to do this.
His doctor decided not to.
(05:50):
It has nothing to do with him.
She said it was because shedidn't know me and hadn't talked
to me and also didn't knowabout disposition rules for
embryos in different states,which kind of flagged to me a
little bit of uh, I don't, it'sjust a feeling I have not naming
who the person is.
I don't even know her name, soI couldn't if I wanted to, uh,
(06:12):
but it felt a little like shewas finding excuses not to sign
off on something like thisbecause of political feelings.
But maybe that's just me, maybethat's just me, maybe that's
just me, maybe that's just avibe I'm getting.
That's incorrect.
She was kind of hung up on someof the nomenclature of the form
, so like she was like well,here's this question.
It says that like you've talkedto Meredith about these things,
(06:34):
but I don't know how Meredithfeels about those things and I'm
like Michael called me withthis and I was very snappy at
him and I texted him andapologized and was like I'm not
mad at you, I'm just frustratedbecause I want to get this done.
No-transcript.
(06:57):
Yeah, okay, you understand yourend of it.
Meredith understands her end ofit.
Like there's no need for this,for his doctor to talk to me
about it.
It was just like hey, have youtalked to Meredith about this
thing?
Yeah, I have.
I feel good about it forreasons x, y, z.
Great consult for him at thelast minute.
(07:19):
He had it on Monday.
He said it was great, she wasvery nice.
They pushed again not to use theterm daddy, which, like I am
just to reiterate, like I amfine with that and I understand
that there are societalunderstandings that we have of
the word father and daddy, anddad and papa and whatever I get
(07:42):
that.
But like I don't mind buckingthose trends and I don't mind
having a very clearunderstanding with my kid from
the get go of, like, well, forsome people this is what daddy
means.
For other people, yeah, theyhave a dad that they call dad,
that walked out on them, andthey don't know him.
For us it's this guy who is,you know, mommy's very best
(08:05):
friend, he is family, he caresabout us very much and you know
he comes and visits us and we goand visit him and you know it's
fine, like that's what it is.
I don't mind establishing whatthat is from the very beginning,
from the very start.
There would never be to me anintroduction of like here's what
it means.
I've brought out thiswhiteboard, you know from the
(08:28):
very beginning, like he's, he'sdaddy or daddy, gay daddy, I
don't know.
Maybe we use our own term,maybe the baby calls him Mikey,
I don't, I don't know.
I am kind of open to seeingwhere things go with the
understanding of what it couldbe and what people think, and
that I don't always care aboutwhat people think and that it's
(08:50):
going to flesh itself out in itsown way, but I do think about
it a lot.
So, anyway, that's signed offon.
Thank God, I think that I getto sign a waiver to say that we
don't need a together consultbecause that would be like
another two or $300.
And like you've heard us talkabout this over and over, like
(09:12):
obviously we know what we're infor, so maybe I just send them
back at planpodcom and they cansee everything that we've talked
about over and over.
So those are the updates.
This week I kind of feel like,as I am on this uh,
rollercoaster ride or chuggachugga choo choo train, and each
(09:34):
week I'm making these differentstops and it's like here are
the things I did to my body thisweek, here are the symptoms I'm
feeling.
I kind of want to stray fromhaving guests and just let you
guys know.
And really for me, this is forme to to keep a diary of all of
the things that I did, becauseit's funny as those first couple
episodes are recorded like.
Even those are like so far inthe distance.
(09:56):
The way I felt about things haschanged so much that I still
need a little more distance fromthem.
I don't want to go back andlisten to them immediately,
because I hate listening tomyself, but it's nice to have an
audio slash sometimes videomemory book of all of the things
that I've gone through for thiswhole process.
So it's just gonna be me forthe next couple of weeks
(10:20):
hopefully, and then I will getpregnant and then I will have
more people on and I'll stillgive you updates about what's
going on with this bod.
But maybe then I'll have somemore people on for advice and
stuff, because that will betotally new territory and let's
just hope this works the firsttime around.
Let's just hope because this isI hope I don't have to do any
(10:40):
more estrogen priming ever againin my life until I get to
menopause and then I can decidewhatever I want to do with
myself then.
Thank you for listening.
Feel free to share yourexperiences, ask me questions or
give advice on Instagram and onYouTube is where I'm the most
active.
You can reach out on TikTokMaybe I will answer there, but
(11:03):
Instagram's better or reach outto me on my personal Instagram.
That's Meredith K and thenumber eight.
Thank you for listening andthank you for coping with me.
I didn't want to record thistoday and I'm going to edit it
as fast as I can and lay back onthe couch Because it's hard.
All right, thanks, guys.
The Backup Plan is created,produced and hosted by me,
(11:26):
meredith Kate.
Julian Hagans is my co producer.
You can find us on social mediaat BackupPlanPod.
The best place to get updatesis to sign up for our newsletter
at BackupPlanPodcom, where wealso post all episodes, show
notes and transcripts.
Thank you for listening.
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