MAIRE BRANDON: 62-Year-Old Natural Bodybuilder | EPISODE 4 - The BASIC Show

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
62-year-olds don't look like that.
Weak men would be intimidated bystrong women.
I was very much being strongerthan most of the men around you.

SPEAKER_01 (00:10):
Look at me.
Look at my car.
Look at my attitude in life.
How many men do you thinkapproach me?

SPEAKER_00 (00:17):
And I

SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
think I'm a warrior.

SPEAKER_00 (00:18):
You just eliminate all the distractions.

SPEAKER_01 (00:20):
I am anti-government.
I always have been.
I'm a punk rocker from way back,from the original late 70s.
I'm very anti-medicine.
I am free Palestine.
Two wings, same bird, corrupt.
I always felt like a weirdo, butmaybe I am just a weirdo.
Well, I was a dominatrix.
I've had boy toys.
I've had, like, I've done itall.
All these voices start cominginto your head.
If you're hiding it, youshouldn't be doing it.

(00:42):
They don't want to be in theleast bit uncomfortable.
So what does it take to be inthe circle?
Focus.
Find out what your gift is andthen freely give it away.
Head down, hoodie up, headseton, move.
Welcome to The Basic Show withVictoria Bush.

(01:14):
Even why, like, normally andespecially coming into
competition, my schedule,everything about everything I do
is very rigid.
It's non-negotiable.
Like, my time.
Like, I put out a little videofrom my hotel room that night
just thanking everybody becauseI was a dick.
I mean, you just have to be.

(01:35):
So, you know, I...
This wouldn't have happened ifit wasn't pre-competition.
It's only because it was post.
And when you came up to me,normally I would be very rigid
and go, no, I got to get back towork.
I got to get back to my, I'mlike, yeah, let's do it.
But pre, I was absolute dickheadto even my clients.
I'm like, I don't have time forthis.

(01:56):
You come, you show up.
I need to do what you got to do.
I don't have the emotionalbandwidth.
You either, you walk through thedoor, you do what you're doing
or don't walk through the door.
And they're just like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 (02:05):
I guess stars align.
And the thing is for me, so I'lljust start the story.
So for me, I'm very awkward insocial situations and I'm very
introverted in a sense, if youknow I'm a public person.
So I want to tell the story toour listeners how actually we
met.
We actually met like three daysago.
I was going to the gym and therewas this lady and I've seen her

(02:28):
progress like for a year.
We never talked.
And I would come at differenttimes.
I'd come like at 12, at 9 p.m.,at 10 p.m.
And she would be there so I'mlike okay let me actually
overcome my shyness and come upto her and say like hey like I
want to tell you you actuallylook great so we were in the
Stairmaster and I'm like hey Idon't want to bother you I just
wanted to let you know I see theprogress in your body and she's

(02:49):
like I'm actually preparing forthis competition for this muscle
muscle bodybuilding competitionand I said what is that when is
it and she's like well it's likeonce a month or like every three
months and said yeah you shouldcome it's in the hotel in
Anaheim on Saturday so I put inmy calendar and I forgot about
it.
Then I look at the calendar andI'm like, okay, I have this
thing and I need to go with aspecific purpose.

(03:12):
I need to find the best womanthere who I want to interview.
I just didn't know what it is.
I just knew I have to come backwith an amazing woman.
So I get to that competition.
It was just like people dressedup.
I mean, they're all freakingtanned and swimsuits.
I'm like, I've never seenanything like this in my life.

(03:32):
And as soon as I enter into thehallway where the stage is, you
were the first person I saw.
And I'm like, damn, who is thiswoman?
Like, you were so fit and youwere so animated.
And I looked up on the screen.
I said, 60 plus.
And I'm like, there's no way.
And there's a lady sitting nextto me.
And I said, how do I get, like,can I get backstage to talk to

(03:53):
this lady?
She's like, no, no, you can'tget backstage.
You have to wait.
So I was waiting.
I'm like feeling so awkward.
I'm like, okay, okay, please,please say yes.
And then You came out and I feltso like, okay, I should really
overcome my fear, come and talkto you.
And that's how we met three daysago.
And you agreed to be on thebasic show on the podcast.
I'm really, really grateful foryou being here.

(04:13):
And I'm so thankful that yousaid yes.
So happy to have you here.

SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
It's good to be here.
And I would say that is all fatebecause normally I do not come
out.
Being a professional ballerina,it is unprofessional to come out
in the front where the audienceis and the only reason I even
did that was because I had aniece that came from Illinois to

(04:37):
see me and she was getting readyto leave and I was like I will
come out and say goodbye to youbut other than that I don't go
out where the audience is at allduring things like that so that
was fate

SPEAKER_00 (04:49):
I guess it was fate and you shared your Instagram
with me and the first thing Isaw on the profile of your
Instagram you know Mary Brandon62 five kids three grandkids
What did you say, a careerathlete?

SPEAKER_01 (05:04):
A career

SPEAKER_00 (05:04):
athlete.
A career athlete.
I was like, oh my goodness, likethis is my lucky day.
I really, really wanted to talkto you and have you on the show
and share your story.
So if we go back and in some ofyour videos you've shared that
you had so many different livesand you've done so many
disciplines from ballet totriathlon and track and all

(05:24):
these things.
So why bodybuilding?
Why now?
Why are you still competing?

SPEAKER_01 (05:29):
Because I'm still alive.
I'm going to do something untilI die.
So, yeah, I started probably ingymnastics.
Well, ballet, actually, first,when I was about 10 years old.
And then in high school, gotinto gymnastics.
It was a little more aggressive,and that was kind of more my

(05:51):
style.
So I left ballet for a while.
And then...
In high school, from gymnastics,I got into running, just road
running.
I got married at 16, and mythen-husband, he was a runner,
so I got into running.
And I was a competitive roadrunner for 20 years.
I was a five-minute miler, oneof the top 10 fastest women in

(06:14):
northern Illinois, southernWisconsin.
I ran through all mypregnancies.

SPEAKER_00 (06:19):
I feel like you're running through such an amazing
life so fast.
I mean, let's rewind backbecause, honestly, I have
goosebumps.
First of all, I mean, millionsof questions.
Let's go back.
So you traveled from Scotland.
My mom and dad.
Your mom and dad.
Our

SPEAKER_01 (06:37):
family.

SPEAKER_00 (06:37):
Your family of seven.

SPEAKER_01 (06:38):
Moved to America.

SPEAKER_00 (06:39):
Moved to America when you were, what, five?
I

SPEAKER_01 (06:41):
was five.

SPEAKER_00 (06:41):
Five years old.
I mean, what was the feeling?
What was the first thing youexperienced there?
getting to different countries.
Do you want to know

SPEAKER_01 (06:51):
what my first best memory was of coming to America?

SPEAKER_00 (06:53):
What

SPEAKER_01 (06:53):
was it?
On the airplane, I actually gotto have a chocolate bar all to
myself.
In Scotland, we had to shareeverything.
So when we were on the flighthere, and it was a Hershey bar,
which I won't touch Hershey's,but...
For me as a five-year-old child,getting a whole chocolate bar to
myself, that is like probablyone of the most positive key

(07:15):
memories for me coming toAmerica.

SPEAKER_00 (07:17):
The American dream right there.
Five years old.
I got my own.
Oh, my God.
So tell me a little bit aboutyour childhood, about your life
when you were a child.

UNKNOWN (07:27):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (07:27):
Well, my parents chose to move to a place called
Rockford, Illinois, because myfather's sister had moved there
with her husband years before.
And so I grew up in the Midwest.
Rockford is 60 miles northwestof Chicago, and it's right on
the Wisconsin border.
It is the second largest city inIllinois.

(07:48):
Bible Belt, very small-mindedmentality.
I never really fit well inthere.
I always felt like a weirdo, butmaybe I am just a weirdo.
In a good way, in a good way.
Yeah, you know.
But I hate winters.

(08:08):
I have an autoimmune disordercalled Raynaud's, which I wasn't
diagnosed with in my 30s andcouldn't figure out why I hated
winters.
Never did winter sports.
Never did ice skating.
Never did, like, didn't want tobe outside.
So it's

SPEAKER_00 (08:20):
a disease that you've...

SPEAKER_01 (08:21):
It's an autoimmune disorder where it's basically an
overreaction.
It's like a...
The body shuts down.
It's like an allergic reactionto certain substances or food.
So the body shuts down the bloodsupply to the extremities when
the temperature gets cold.
Now, each body determines whatcold is.

(08:43):
For me, my body determines about65 degrees as cold.
So if it gets below 65, I mean,I've got pictures on my phone
because I cold dip or polarplunge.
I force my body to deal withthis issue.
So you can see my hands arewhite.
It drains the blood.
And when it's too cold.

(09:06):
And like I say, my body decides65 is cold.

SPEAKER_00 (09:09):
Your body just said you need to move to California.

SPEAKER_01 (09:12):
I asked my doctor years ago in my 30s.
And I said, so what do I doabout this?
Is it going to go away?
He said, no, it won't go away.
He said, most likely...
get worse as you get older.
He said the best thing you cando is move to a warmer climate.

SPEAKER_00 (09:28):
Change the climate, yeah.
And it seems like you like totest yourself.
You love living on the edge,huh?

SPEAKER_01 (09:34):
I do.
There's something about itthat...
I like putting myself indifficult situations.
My oldest son has chastised mefrom time to time for that,
saying, you know, you don't haveto struggle through life, Mom.
You can sit down and relax andread a book.
I don't want to sit down andread a book.

(09:57):
And I do love to read.
But no, I think I love...
I love the challenge.
I love overcoming it.
I love it.
It shows you what metal you'remade of.
It's like doing 10-day fasts orall of these things that I do
that I put myself through.
It just shows me what metal I'mactually made of and what I'm

(10:17):
capable of.
And so the next difficult thingthat happens to show up, I know
I'm good.
I've

SPEAKER_00 (10:23):
got it.
I mean, if you take any woman,they would never think, oh, let
me put myself through all thistrouble.
For what?
Are you trying to provesomething to

SPEAKER_01 (10:32):
yourself?
No.
To be honest, I don't know.
I don't have an answer for that.
I've thought about it a lot oftimes.
And the best I can come up with,like when I say I've lived many,
many lives just in this oneexistence since Mary Brandon,
born in 1963 in Scotland, I'dsay I've lived at least five to
seven different, completelydifferent people.

(10:53):
I could show you pictures.
What

SPEAKER_00 (10:54):
do you mean by that?
I've

SPEAKER_01 (10:56):
reinvented myself, or I've been reinvented that
many times.
And I...
My explanation is that my beliefis that we are energies and we
regenerate through the eons,through paradigms.
And I think I'm a warrior.
I just think I'm a warriorthrough different paradigms,
through different time periods.

(11:17):
That's just who I am.
It's how I'm wired.
I

SPEAKER_00 (11:20):
always ask why, because so many people give up
or they just get used to currentconditions.
What really moves you?

SPEAKER_01 (11:29):
They resolve things.
You have apathy, resolving,comfort.
Those aren't words that are inmy vocabulary.
And I even will take, whensomeone says, well, I'm
comfortable, and I'll just lookat them and go, are you
comfortable or are youapathetic?

SPEAKER_00 (11:46):
Do you think it's coming from your childhood where
you're used to being notcomfortable?

SPEAKER_01 (11:50):
When

SPEAKER_00 (11:53):
people

SPEAKER_01 (11:54):
talk about my discipline, they're like, you're
so disciplined.
And I'm like, yeah, I call ittrauma response.
So, I mean, yeah, I thinkthere's some of that mixed in
there, but I don't mind it.
Do you know what I mean?
I don't...
Some people would say, oh, youknow, your extreme way of living
your life and putting yourselfin these situations, like,
that's trauma.
You should probably see atherapist.

(12:15):
I've been told that, too.
And I'm like, you know what?
I don't mind the way I am.
And the reason I don't mind itand I actually even enjoy it is
because I've found thatthroughout my life, the...
What I hear, the constantrefrain that I hear from people
around me is that I'm aninspiration.
I'm motivational.
I help people.

(12:36):
People look at me and go, wow,okay, then I think I can do this
thing over here that I didn'tthink I could do.
I show people that they're notlimited.
They're not as limited asthey've been taught they are,
which goes back to my thingabout anti-programming.

SPEAKER_00 (12:52):
Tell me more about that.
What does it mean,anti-programming?

SPEAKER_01 (12:54):
Television programming.

SPEAKER_00 (12:55):
Tell me about

SPEAKER_01 (12:56):
it.
There's always a message comingthrough.
Is it like the old you, Bjork?
Let me ask you.
When you saw that I was 62 andyou're like, there's no way
because 62-year-olds don't looklike that.
Why would you even think that?
That's programming.
You've been programmed bysociety that when you're a
certain age, you can't do thesethings anymore.
You don't look like this.

(13:17):
Oh, you start to suffer fromthese conditions.
I don't believe any of it.
I say bullshit to all of it.

SPEAKER_00 (13:22):
And I'm living proof.
I guess it's more conditioning,right?
Like we're conditioned.
It's what you believe.

SPEAKER_01 (13:27):
What you believe.
It's all right here.
And so because I minimize theexternal programming and I get
to create my own life, whichI've done.

SPEAKER_00 (13:38):
So that means you don't watch any TV, you don't
read news,

SPEAKER_01 (13:43):
I assume.
No, it's not news.
Everything has an agenda.

SPEAKER_00 (13:47):
Exactly.
Everybody

SPEAKER_01 (13:48):
has

SPEAKER_00 (13:48):
an agenda.
Exactly.
You don't hear anymore what'shappening in the world, right?
You seem very

SPEAKER_01 (13:52):
specific.
I will say I am free Palestine.
Ever since that came out, I'vebeen to multiple protests.
I am very much, and it's noteven just Palestine.
I have families that I haveGoFundMe for over there that I'm
in contact with.
So it's not even just aPalestine.

(14:12):
It's humans.
Humanity, everyone should havethe right to self-determination.
Everyone should have the freedomto pursue what it is they want.
I don't care where you are,whether you're in the Congo or
whether you're...
I am anti-government.
I always have been.
I'm a punk rocker from way back,from the original late 70s.
I'm an anarchist.

(14:33):
It's like I really believe inthe freedom of the people.
I believe in personalaccountability, personal
responsibility And I don't thinkwe should, I don't believe in
prescribed morality as far asreligion.
If you have to have a religionto tell you what is good and
right and kind and loving, thatyou're already a shitheel.

(14:54):
So that should come from inside.
You should want your fellow manto thrive.
If they need help, you shouldwant to help them.
So

SPEAKER_00 (15:03):
how do you think you became this way?
Because you live in California,probably the worst state that
has so many confinements.
Yeah, I think it's somethingthat's

SPEAKER_01 (15:12):
within my...
My being, I do.
I come from a family of addictsand a family of alcoholics.
So I could, I think, easily sayI have addictive behavior.
My behavior is extreme.
I'm 110%, whether I'm in denialor whether I'm in indulgence.
So my fourth child, Samuel, andI, we were just talking about

(15:34):
that, corresponding about thattwo days ago.
If I've got a box of chocolates,I'm eating the box of
chocolates.
I'm not eating one or two.
I mean, it's like, oh, There's abox.
So I just generally don't have abox of chocolates around.

SPEAKER_00 (15:48):
But I guess that also helps you to achieve your
goals, right?
Because you're kind of thatextremist that you go all the
way in whatever you do, right?
Do you think that's the ultimatequality for anyone who wants to
achieve any sort of success inany either like sports or arts?

SPEAKER_01 (16:03):
Yes, even if it's not athletic.
I think if you look at verysuccessful businessmen, I think
they were all in.
It's like you pay the price upfront.
You make those sacrifices.
You're sacrificing your time.
Like I'm single.
I've been single for six yearsand I've been completely
celibate for six years.

(16:24):
So I haven't, it's, I don't havetime.
And people look at me and go,are you kidding me?
And I'm like, no, because that'swhat it takes.
In order for me to have achievedwhat I did, the condition,
physical condition, conditioningthat I did, 8% body fat.
I started at 21%.
I had to just, like I said, Ihad to be a dick.
It's like when someone's, hey,Mary, nope, don't have time.

(16:46):
I got to go do my cardio.
I got 45 minutes to get in.
So I think for anyone that issuccessful to that degree,
whether they're an eliteathlete, you know, you could
take David Goggins and peoplewould say he's nuts.
Okay, well, yeah, but look whathe's achieved.
You know, Steve Jobs, take someof these people and look at them
and what they got.

(17:07):
They were so driven and theywere so...
Do

SPEAKER_00 (17:11):
you think like you contradict yourself when you say
you're a dick, which that whatsociety say?
I would say you're moredetermined.
I mean, when you're determinedand you have your goal, you just
eliminate all the distractions.
I wouldn't say it's a dick.
I feel like maybe you're insideinternal guilt saying, you know,
oh, I might not be nice topeople.
Only

SPEAKER_01 (17:28):
because my job, what my job is, is serving other
people.
So that's what I do all day is Ihelp other people realize their
lack of limits.
I help them realize theirempowerment.
And so when it comes...
That's a hard line when I'mtrying to achieve a goal and yet
most of my time is...
poured into other people 10 to12 hours a day, there comes a

(17:52):
place where I have to draw thatline and go, this is your time,
and this is all you get today,and that's not normally me, and
they know that.
And I've said to them, I toldthem before I did this, I'm
going to do this competition,I'm going to be an ass.
I said, I have to be selfishabout a certain amount of time.
And it's not even selfish, it'sself-interest, and those are two
different things.
And they understood.

SPEAKER_00 (18:13):
So for those people that you work with, Is it
important, what's moreimportant, the actual physique
or the mindset that they shouldhave in order to get to the
point where they're trying toget, or both?

SPEAKER_01 (18:28):
Well, it starts with the mindset, but if you have
that mindset, you'll get thephysique if that's what you
want.
So anybody can get...
Absolutely.
That's what I believe.
That's why I say I am simply anexample of what is humanly
possible.
It just starts here.
And most people, like you said,they give up.

(18:49):
They're at a point.
It's like, oh, I'm on thedownside.
I'm going to sit on the couchand watch my show, which is the
thing I never understand.
I'll say to people like, youdon't have a TV.
I'm like, no, why would I wantto waste my life's moments
watching other people pretend tolive life's moments?
They're not even real.

(19:10):
They're faking it.
It's all acting.
And I'm I'm giving up my life'smoments sitting here watching
them fake their life's moments.
Why would I do that?

SPEAKER_00 (19:21):
It's interesting you say that because that's what I
do.
And I feel...
No, it's true because I'mobsessed with TV shows.
And I feel like the reason...
I mean, you made me think thereason I do it because sometimes
I want to escape the reality.
And you want to get and leavethat exciting world and...
close the eyes on what's goingon around you right now.

(19:43):
And sometimes we don't realizeprobably that it takes another
day, one step to make adifference, but you just choose
what's comfortable, what'ssoothing, right?
And just leaving that otherdream out there and makes you
feel good.
You know, you watch the TV showabout 20 years.
It's

SPEAKER_01 (19:58):
like alcohol.
It's like sex.
It's like drugs.
It helps you escape.
I would rather be an active partof changing, be the change you
want to see in the world.
So I would rather be that personout there doing, like, for
instance, I tell people I'venever watched pornography and
they look at me and I'm like,I've never watched porn.

(20:18):
If I've wanted to indulge inthat, guess what I do?
I just fucking indulge in it.
Like, I'm going to live it in myreal life.
I'm not going to watch otherpeople fake it.
Like, that doesn't make sense to

SPEAKER_00 (20:30):
me.
But see, it's so easy to, it'seasier said than done.
So, How do you even disciplineyourself?
I can't imagine taking anyregular person and say, okay,
from tomorrow you're going to becelibate.
From tomorrow you're not goingto watch TV.
It's impossible.
I guess it became yourlifestyle, right?
It's you.

(20:50):
But if somebody...
What is your advice for somebodywho wants to kind of start going
that direction, but they don'tknow what's the first...
Baby steps.
Everything has to be done indegrees.
Burn the TV.

SPEAKER_01 (21:01):
Like, well, you know, like I say, I raised all
my children without atelevision.
We had a TV with a VCR and, youknow, VHS tapes.

SPEAKER_00 (21:12):
I love those, yeah.
Be

SPEAKER_01 (21:13):
kind, rewind.
Because I homeschooled all mychildren.
So what does it mean,

SPEAKER_00 (21:18):
homeschool?

SPEAKER_01 (21:19):
I taught them at home.
They didn't go to school.
I taught them at home.

SPEAKER_00 (21:23):
Did you know all the subjects?
I was their

SPEAKER_01 (21:24):
teacher.

SPEAKER_00 (21:25):
Oh, you were their teacher.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (21:26):
Yeah.
So I had a lot of differentinformation, like a lot of
different curriculum, not justin books, but also, you know,
Jump Start was one of theprograms, which is funny because
once I moved out here, I had aclient who was...
one of the designers of thesehomeschool math programs and

(21:48):
engineering programs that I usedfor my children way back in the
90s in Illinois.
And he was one of the designers.
And I was like, oh, that'sfucking cool.
So we had a television, but itdidn't I think we got the three
basic television stations, butwe never watched TV.
We would rent maybe VHS andwatch specific movies.

(22:11):
We exposed our children to justspecific things.

SPEAKER_00 (22:14):
Did you ever have resentment from your children?
Oh, yeah.
You still live in the society,right?
Didn't they feel like, hey, mom,we feel so left out?

SPEAKER_01 (22:26):
No, because I think you can tell I'm a very...
Like I dance professionally andall my children dance with me.
We had Nutcracker performanceswhere I was on stage with all
five of my children.
So my kids were exposed.
I worked a job at a place calledGymnastics Academy of Rockford.
It was an Olympic class gym.

(22:48):
facility and I was the corecoach for junior Olympic gymnast
plus I was also a dancer and adance teacher taught hip-hop I
taught other homeschoolers gymclass we did trampoline tumbling
all my kids did martial artsclasses tumbling classes
gymnastic classes dance classesthere's a lot of homeschool
things that go on in the Midwestbecause it was it's been big

(23:11):
there for a while so we hadhomeschool groups my daughter
played flute and piccolo we wereinvolved my kids my My son
Samuel did football.
He did city league football.
All of my kids were runnersbecause I was involved in a
running group, being a runner,and they would do the kids' fun
runs.
So there was a lot ofsocialization.

(23:32):
Now, but don't get me wrong.
A lot of homeschoolers are notsocialized, and they're pretty
derelict.
I've worked with a lot of them.
But that's because in the BibleBelt, those people, their
mentality is they don't wanttheir kids to be in the world.
So they want to keep them in abubble.
I wasn't like that.
So my kids were very socialized.
But yes, they still have...

(23:52):
We all have resentments with ourparents, don't we?
Yeah, I bet.
So yes, I've heard some of mykids know.
Some of my kids are like, Ithink we had an amazing
childhood.
We had six and a half acres ofland.
We had our own garden.
Yeah.
We had chickens.

(24:12):
My kids had a nice storybookchildhood.
But yes, I was very much...
My kids got up in the morningand they had to run their laps
and their age around the housebefore breakfast.

SPEAKER_00 (24:24):
Wow, mini army.
G.I.
Jane.
But how did you find time?
I'm working.
I can't imagine how one kid, youhad five kids.
That's what I did.
And you homeschooled.
And then I worked

SPEAKER_01 (24:37):
part-time.
I did.
And you worked part-time.
And all my kids went with mebecause you're talking old
school.
You're talking Christianity.
So my husband didn't babysit.
His own children.

SPEAKER_00 (24:46):
Ah, okay.
So you had to stay at home time.
When I went to work,

SPEAKER_01 (24:49):
all my kids went with me.
But, like as I told you, Iworked at a place called
Gymnastics Academy.
All my children got to takeclasses for free.
So they were all in classeswhile I was teaching.

SPEAKER_00 (24:57):
And

SPEAKER_01 (24:58):
that was in the afternoon.
So basically homeschool.
I would get up every morning andgo running at 5.
And I'd get home from my run 6,6.30.
I'd get everybody up.
And then we'd get ready.
We started school around 8.
They all had to memorize twoscriptures out of the Bible
every week.
My husband was an elder in thechurch.
I was one of the worship teamleaders.

(25:19):
We were at church three times.
Yes, because I sing, and I'malso a classically trained
violinist.
This is

SPEAKER_00 (25:27):
incredible.
I mean, you're talking aboutthese things.
It's like, oh, you know, I was aclassically trained violinist.
I got married at 16.
I know.
So tell me, I mean, I have so,so many questions.
Like, how did that come about,if you don't mind sharing?
I mean...
And you said, didn't you say youhad a double wedding with your
dad and your stepmom on the sameday?

(25:48):
Yes, we got married together.
Was it like an arranged marriagesituation?
No.

SPEAKER_01 (25:54):
Yeah, we're Scottish, you know, we're
Druids, we're pagans from wayback.
No, it was not arranged.
My, you know, my parents, likewe moved here from Scotland and
My dad was an alcoholic, camefrom alcoholic parents.
And I think that my parentsthought coming here to America
would help get my dad away fromsome of those influences.

SPEAKER_00 (26:14):
And

SPEAKER_01 (26:15):
my dad was a pianist and he was a master European
degreed baker.

SPEAKER_00 (26:21):
And you have a joke about that.

SPEAKER_01 (26:22):
You notice I paused my words, so I said it in the
right order, so I didn't sayMaster Baker.
My dad's joke there would be notMaster Bader, that's Master
Baker.
He was an excellent Europeanbaker.
And

SPEAKER_00 (26:37):
he was a carpenter.
He had a degree in biology.
Yes.
It's incredible.
Food biology.
Food biology, right.

SPEAKER_01 (26:42):
Yes.
And he was self-taught pianist,and he played honky-tonk
ragtime.
Our Scottish parties were justlit.
So

SPEAKER_00 (26:53):
you were exposed in early childhood to different art
disciplines, even though youmight not have the childhood
that you

SPEAKER_01 (27:00):
dreamed about.
I come from a family ofmusicians.
Everyone in our family was amusician.
My mother was a great vocalist.
That's probably where I learnedto sing, her and Freddie
Mercury.
My oldest brother, Steve, he'sstill...
is alive.
He's in Illinois.
He plays mostly acoustic guitar.
My brother John, who passed awaylast May, he was probably the

(27:23):
foremost musician.
He was a recording artist.
He played all kinds of differentinstruments, played in local
bands down through the years,contributed a lot to the music
scene in Rockford, Illinois andthe area.
My brother Russell was a drummerand played clarinet.
He died about 10 years ago.
Terrible drug addict.
My sister, Anna Louise, She alsoplayed drums, but her life

(27:50):
stopped pretty quickly.
She was raped at age 11 andstarted running away from home,
so she never really, she kind ofjust made bad decision after bad
decision.
She's in Arkansas in aconvalescent home.
She can't talk or move.
That's

SPEAKER_00 (28:08):
devastating, I'm sorry.
And you mentioned that happenedwhen you were about, what, nine
years old?
I was

SPEAKER_01 (28:13):
nine,

SPEAKER_00 (28:13):
yeah.

UNKNOWN (28:14):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 (28:15):
But my brother Russell and my brother John,
they're both dead now.
And so it's just me and mybrother Steve.
But yeah, I come from a familyof musicians.
It was just always music and alldifferent types of music.

SPEAKER_00 (28:30):
Do you think the more you expose your kids to
different disciplines, the moretalented they would be when they
grow up?

SPEAKER_01 (28:40):
Well, I think that we as human beings...
I think that creativity is whatshould be nurtured first and
foremost.
I'm not a big fan, obviously, ofhomeschooling.
I'm not a big fan of that rigid,stringent education.
Sit in a desk and learn thesethings by rote.

(29:02):
And my son Gabriel, he's myoldest son, my second child, he
tested...
at the 99th percentile when hewas five years old on the SATs
because I always had my kidstested.
I was like, oh, this kid's goingto be a genius.
He was horribly dyslexic.
He couldn't learn any blackletters on a white page.
He couldn't retain any of thatknowledge because he was a

(29:24):
creative mind.
It just was how he learned.
So I got information from theDyslexia Foundation, the Orton
Dyslexia Foundation out on theEast Coast when he was young.
Got books on it to learn how hewould how it would be best to
teach him because he wasn'tgoing to sit and learn out of a
book like traditional education.

(29:47):
And so Gabriel, very artistic.
All my kids are very artistic,and I think all humans are.
I think that they try to getcrammed into a pattern too soon
in life.
And I think...
Society is starting to realizethat.
It's like, this is not the bestway for us to raise good human
beings.
I think they're coming around tothat.

SPEAKER_00 (30:09):
So what is the best way to raise human beings in
your mind?
I

SPEAKER_01 (30:13):
think freedom, the freedom for them to be creative.
Let them climb on logs and falloff and break an arm.
I mean, it's like, you know...

SPEAKER_00 (30:23):
Do you believe the children need to be exposed to
different things?
Absolutely.
Because I hated playing piano.
I mean, I was exposed to it, butI hated it.
I was like, I don't think it'smy thing.
So for children, do you think...

SPEAKER_01 (30:36):
But do you think you benefited somewhat from

SPEAKER_00 (30:37):
it?
Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 (30:38):
There you go.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
There you go.

SPEAKER_00 (30:40):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (30:41):
That's the bottom line.
As being a ballet teacher, Iwould have parents that would
have their little girls in myballet class, and their
daughters, some of the girlsjust hated it.
And some of them, they were justuncoordinated as shit, you know?
And I would say, you know, hey,little Susie just hates ballet.
You know, but I always wanted tobe a ballerina.
I'm like, that was your dream.

(31:02):
I think you should let littleSusie go play some soccer now.
It's like, you know, I think theexposure is good, and there's
certain activities...
Obviously, ballet is one ofthem.
Gymnastics is another.
But ballet is fine motor.
Gymnastics is gross motor.
I think gymnastics is morebeneficial when you're younger.
But it gives you a sense of yourliving organism and how it moves

(31:23):
through time and space.
And I think that to gain a senseof that at a young age is always
highly beneficial.
I don't think that you have tostay in it, but I think learning
certain disciplines and piano,absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 (31:39):
The I hand chord, the dexterity.
So ballet is, in my mind, it'sopposite from bodybuilding.
How did you face, did you haveany change in perception of
femininity going from like thegraceful ballerina to lifting
weights and probably beingstronger than most of the men
around you?

(32:00):
How did your perception offemininity and masculinity
change when you started doingbodybuilding?

SPEAKER_01 (32:05):
I've always been a tomboy.
I've always had a lot ofmasculine qualities about me.
I'm an Aries.
I'm a fire sign.
I'm the original.
I'm number one.
I'm an Aries sun.
I'm an Aries moon.
I'm an Aries mercury.
I'm just a very aggressiveindividual to start with.
And I think as a child, Iwasn't.
And I think that's just becauseI had...

(32:26):
I mean, fears and traumas andjust certain things you grow up
with.
And having three brothers thatwere always picking on me,
lovingly, mind you.
But I think I learned to fendfor myself.
So I think I've always been.
I've never been that.
I was not that little girl thatliked to play with dolls or
Barbies.
I wanted to go climb trees andjump.

(32:47):
off of garage roofs and...
I

SPEAKER_00 (32:49):
want to know about the pet mice.

SPEAKER_01 (32:51):
Oh, my pet mice.
Jim Jim and Socrates were my twopet mice.
So tell me, I really wanted toknow more about that.
Little white mice, yes, and I'vehad atypical pets also.
Like I had, when my kids weregrowing up, we had five ferrets,
we had a hedgehog, we hadsnakes, Kirtland water snakes,
red-bellied snakes fromWisconsin.

(33:13):
We had a rat, Zuba, white rat.
Um...
It's just we always had.
I

SPEAKER_00 (33:19):
think maybe I might outweird you.
I had a pet, a snail, and hisname was Amigo.
So it was so weird.
He probably

SPEAKER_01 (33:29):
didn't do much, did

SPEAKER_00 (33:30):
he?
No.
He was a huge one just climbingon the lattice, picking up an
apple.
We

SPEAKER_01 (33:36):
had newts.
What are those?
Newts.
What is that?
They're a littlesalamander-like.

SPEAKER_00 (33:43):
Oh, lizards kind of?

SPEAKER_01 (33:45):
My son had a bearded dragon.
Just,

SPEAKER_00 (33:50):
yeah.
Yeah, that's great that youexpose your kids to so many
different environments,disciplines.
They had all these pets.
Do you consider you had a farm?

SPEAKER_01 (34:01):
No, we had six and a half acres.
It was technically in thecounty.
It was right outside ofRockford, Illinois.
Mm-hmm.
But a nice-sized lot.
We were the first family out ofthe original family that built
the house in 1916.
We were the first people theysold it to outside of the
family.

(34:22):
And it had six acres full ofblack walnut trees.
Beautiful.
Black walnut is used for fineveneer.
And the trees had never beenharvested.
And there was probably over.
When they originally built thehome, the grandfather had
planted these trees.
with the intention of when theycame to maturation, that they
would harvest them and theywould pay for like the grandkids

(34:44):
college and things like that.
And they never harvested thetrees.
So we ended up when we moved in,we had a professional logging
company come in and harvestabout 20, 25 of the trees and
got a good chunk of change forthem, but still had at least 30
trees left on there.
And we had a big wood burningfurnace in our basement, a big

(35:06):
octopus furnace.
So we had wood to burn allwinter long.
And it was a real nice spot forkids to grow up.
I don't think all my kids lovedthe house.
So I

SPEAKER_00 (35:18):
assume all your kids are grown up right now.
Yes.
On your own, huh?

SPEAKER_01 (35:23):
My baby is Daniel.
He's 34.
Samuel, he will be 36.
36.
Sarah will be 38 in August.
Gabriel just turned 40 in March.
And my daughter Hannah, myoldest, will be 42 in September.

SPEAKER_00 (35:44):
Do you ever feel lonely?

SPEAKER_01 (35:45):
No.

SPEAKER_00 (35:46):
I don't believe you.

SPEAKER_01 (35:49):
Oh, really?
No.
I'd love to have the ability tovisit my kids more or to have
them come to me, but I live in600 square feet.
Because in L.A., we don't reallylive in our homes.
We live outside.

SPEAKER_00 (36:02):
That's

SPEAKER_01 (36:03):
why we're here.
So I've lived in the sameapartment for 15 years.
And lonely, no.

SPEAKER_00 (36:10):
Maybe you don't allow yourself.
I'm alone,

SPEAKER_01 (36:12):
but I'm not lonely.
I can honestly say that I'mnever sitting, pining away,
going, oh, I wish I had someone.
I don't.
And some people have a hard timebelieving that, but I try to
explain to people, look, I'vedone it.
I've literally done it all.
I got married at 16, which isunheard of.

(36:32):
I had five children.
I didn't just have fivechildren.
I actually was with them 24-7for 20 years straight.
I homeschooled them.
I grew up with them.
And I was married for 23 yearsto a wonderful man.
And then after that, after thedivorce, I've had a couple of
really, really solidrelationships.

(36:52):
a six-and-a-half-yearrelationship when I first moved
out here, an eight-yearrelationship with a boy toy.
He was 29 years my junior.
I've had boy toys.
I've had...
Like, I've done it all.
It's like...
I've had menage a trois.
I've, like...
I've played all the games.
So what's the

SPEAKER_00 (37:07):
craziest thing you've done?

SPEAKER_01 (37:08):
Oh, my God.
Well, I guess that would be leftup for interpretation.
Well, I was a dominatrix.

SPEAKER_00 (37:14):
I could see you in that.
Yeah.
I mean, my license plate saysthat.
I'm not surprised.
Was it more like a hidden...
I mean, were you open aboutthat?
Or was it more like...
I don't

SPEAKER_01 (37:23):
hide anything.
Here's my view on life.
If you're hiding it, youshouldn't be doing it.
And people would say, do yourkids know?
I'm like, well, I guess if I'mhiding it, then it's something
wrong, isn't it?
And if it's wrong, I shouldn'tbe doing it.

SPEAKER_00 (37:38):
What did it give you?
Did it give you certain pleasuredominating and being in charge?
Or just more giving something toother people?

SPEAKER_01 (37:49):
I was going to say, you would think, but I like
meeting needs.
So it's...

SPEAKER_00 (37:56):
So it's more for you providing something.

SPEAKER_01 (37:59):
Yeah, and in that world, a lot of women are angry
with men.
Like they have an anger and theywant to hurt them.
And I'm like, no, that's...
Like I've had some requests andI'm like, sorry, dude, no, I'm
not.
No, that's not my thing.
I'm not stomping on your fuckingballs.
That's not

SPEAKER_00 (38:16):
happening.

UNKNOWN (38:18):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 (38:19):
I can imagine.
I mean, I'm following one of theTelegram channels for one of the
dominatrix in Russia, and I'veread some stories.
I mean, some insane, somebrutal, but I feel like a lot of
men, they're hiding certaindesires because, like you said,
it's not acceptable in society.
And they're looking for theavenue to fulfill those desires

(38:39):
and looking for a person who'swilling to That is safe.
Safe.
Yeah, I

SPEAKER_01 (38:46):
have a questionnaire.
One of my original boyfriends,he was a business attorney.
He wrote up my contract and Ihad a questionnaire everybody
had to fill out.
And, you know, sometimes they'refetishes.
I would just be like, sorry, Ican't help you.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (39:03):
Do you think those are fetishes or some more mental
deviations?

SPEAKER_01 (39:09):
That's why I would have them fill out a
questionnaire because a lot oftimes some of the things they
would put down, I'd be like,okay, I don't know what happened
between you and your mom whenyou were a kid, but I can't help
you.
You're

SPEAKER_00 (39:20):
not the psychiatrist.

SPEAKER_01 (39:22):
I am

SPEAKER_00 (39:22):
not what you need.
So...
So that's probably one of yourseven lives, right?
Yes.
That you lived.
So you had the life before youcame to the States.
Then you had your motherhoodlife, right?
The coach and the land and thesebeautiful trees.

(39:43):
And now, I mean, may I ask, areyou living now for yourself?
Or what is your purpose, Iguess, right now?

SPEAKER_01 (39:51):
I think purpose in general is to find what your
gift is and give it away freely.
I think then that empowers otherhuman beings.
It brings all of humanity up.
So like I say, whereas peoplemight be critical of me saying,
you know, you're such anextremist or, you know, you put

(40:11):
yourself into these situations,you make your life harder.
And as I said already, and I'llreiterate it, that I feel that I
tend more to be an encouragementand an inspiration and a
motivation for other people.
And so I think that's what we'resupposed to do is find out what
your gift is and then freelygive it away.

(40:34):
Like, don't withhold it.

SPEAKER_00 (40:37):
What would you advise to people who don't know
what their gift is?
Stop watching fucking TV and

SPEAKER_01 (40:44):
figure it

SPEAKER_00 (40:47):
out!

SPEAKER_01 (40:47):
Stop being distracted.
We do.
I do, too.
I can't be critical.
I have my own areas where I'mgoing to let myself be
distracted.
And it's like you...
Try to minimize that as much aspossible.
Sometimes the world isoverwhelming.
Sometimes the system isoverwhelming.

(41:09):
I'm not political at all.
The whole system's corrupt.
It drives me bonkers.
When people start talking, I'mlike, no, not political.
Everybody.
Two wings, same bird, corrupt.
So it's like, don't get mestarted.
So, you know, I think we allwant to check out every now and
then.
And we all have our differentways of doing it.

(41:30):
I just really try to minimizeit.
I really try to embrace thediscomfort rather than
anesthetize.

SPEAKER_00 (41:37):
See, I love what you're saying.
Embrace the discomfort because Ifeel most of the people are so
afraid just to be withthemselves.
They're afraid of silence.
They need to be always going outpartying.
They need to be with somebody.
They need to fill in their lifewith relationships that don't
serve them because for the factthey are discomfort, they're

(41:57):
uncomfortable to be withthemselves because all these
voices start coming into yourhead and you start questioning,
what am I doing?
What's my point?
purpose like what am I trying toachieve like and that's really
hard especially nowadays with somuch noise how would you what's
your advice to eliminate all thenoise I know it says simple like
don't watch TV but is therecertain technique maybe you

(42:20):
could share for the people forpeople to I don't know just to
kind of focus and get closer tofinding their purpose

SPEAKER_01 (42:29):
well I would say meditate you know I don't I
don't really meditate I'm notreally sure what that means I I
meditate when I ground orconnect with nature in the sense
that, like I'll go out on myroad bike and Sunday's my one
day that I'm not in the gym andI'll go out on my bike and I'll

(42:52):
have people go, I don'tunderstand.
All you do is exercise all weeklong and then on your one day
off, you still go out on yourbike and exercise.
And I said, no, no, no, it's awhole different thing.
I'm on my bike and I'm ridingalong the ocean.
And it frees my mind to startthinking about things.
And I have always doneintrospection.

(43:16):
So when we do something in life,like let's say we, oh, I'm going
to do this for that personbecause it's so altruistic.

SPEAKER_00 (43:28):
It's more for themselves, right?
I

SPEAKER_01 (43:29):
am the person.
I always call myself intoaccount and go, okay, but why
did you really do that?
Was it really altruistic?
Did you do it because you reallywanted to serve the other
person?
or was part of that becauseserving that other person also
made you feel good aboutyourself.
And I've done that my wholelife.
I can't explain where that camefrom.
I've always done introspectionand called myself into account.

(43:52):
So I'm always trying to bebetter.
I'm always trying to level up.
I'm always trying to stop beingan asshole.
Like, you know, in differentplaces, I know where my areas
are, and it's like,

SPEAKER_00 (44:06):
okay, you got it.
Please

SPEAKER_01 (44:07):
don't.
You got to stop doing that, likeon the 405 in my car when people
are in the left lane withoutleft lane ambition.

SPEAKER_00 (44:16):
shouldn't be there some people should be only but
that's what it is in europeright like you have to the slow
cars driving left and uh thefast ones on the right here you
can find a freaking mostcringest truck in the fastest
lane driving 20 miles an hour

SPEAKER_01 (44:32):
i got a ticket i got a ticket just about two months
ago because there was a whitepito van in the left lane and i
had worked already 10 hours andI was in diet prep and I needed
to get home for that last mealand there was a white van going
like 67 and

SPEAKER_00 (44:48):
I

SPEAKER_01 (44:49):
zoomed around him and there happened to be a

SPEAKER_00 (44:52):
CHP

SPEAKER_01 (44:53):
and he pulled me over and he goes, you in a
hurry?
I said, yeah, I am in a hurry.
I'm very belligerent.
White privilege.
I get away with it.
I literally, I will sit thereand swear at the cops.
And he goes, he goes, well, youknow, I clocked you going 83
trying to go around that van.
And I said, well, you know, thatvan was obstructing traffic.
They're in the left lane.
I said, there's no one in frontof him.

(45:14):
I said, he had three other lanesto pick from.
I said, the left lane is throughlane.
I said, that's on the Californiastate driver's test twice about
if someone passes you on theright or the left lane.
And he's like, I know, I know.
He goes, I ride a bike, youknow, a motorcycle.
He goes, I get it.
And I'm like, but you're goingto ticket me rather than ticket
him for obstructing traffic, theflow of traffic.
And he goes, well, you weregoing 83.

(45:35):
And I think it was a Fridaynight.
And I said, so you think I'm ona joyride?
I said, listen, I spent 10 hoursin the gym today.
I said, I'm on diet prep for acompetition.
I just need to get home, one, topee, and two, to get my last
meal in before I get up at 5a.m.
and start all over again.
Now, granted, that ticket hasn'tshown up yet.

(45:57):
So I have a tendency to, I thinkthey write the ticket and
they're like, oh.
Okay, yeah, this lady wasprobably just really, because I
think he thought I was, it was aFriday night and I was

SPEAKER_00 (46:09):
like, no, I'm just trying to get home, man.
You can still contest it.
You can go have

SPEAKER_01 (46:12):
your

SPEAKER_00 (46:13):
case

SPEAKER_01 (46:13):
in court.
There's another one I'mcontesting right now.

SPEAKER_00 (46:20):
I'm not surprised.
You've seen my car, right?
No, I haven't seen your car.
Oh my God, that was you?
I was like.
I actually stopped prepping.
I was like, what is this coolcar?
It's a

SPEAKER_01 (46:33):
British race car.
It's a track car.
It's a Lotus.
This

SPEAKER_00 (46:36):
is a cool brand.
Tell me about it.
Lotus?
Lotus.
Is it a, I don't know, are theybased in Orange County?
No?
No, it's British.
Oh, British.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
Sorry.
I think I'm confusing.
It's okay.
China.
Awesome

SPEAKER_01 (46:48):
now.

SPEAKER_00 (46:50):
Like everything else.

SPEAKER_01 (46:51):
The Brits can't hang on to anything.
They're idiots.

SPEAKER_00 (46:53):
Yeah, that's actually a really, really
amazing car.

SPEAKER_01 (46:55):
They lost Jag.
They lost Land Rover.
You know

SPEAKER_00 (46:59):
what I mean?
Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 (46:59):
Mentally, they don't.

SPEAKER_00 (47:00):
That's it.
We just had an interview theother episode with the Orange
County car brand called Rizvani.
The guy is Iranian-American andstarted a car brand eight years
ago.
Bulletproof, military meetsluxury.
It's really incredible.
Anyway, it just reminded me.
about him.
But wow, it's definitely, I candefinitely see a personality,

(47:21):
the toxic, was it toxic green?
It is called krypton green.
Krypton, okay, excuse me.

SPEAKER_01 (47:26):
Krypton green, that is one of the rarest lotus
colors.

SPEAKER_00 (47:30):
Have you heard, a random thought, have you ever
heard about the love colors byPamela Osley?
So she is a, I think she's adoctor, a scientist, and she
somehow scientifically provedthat every person is born with
an aura, and Each aura has aspecific color.
And sometimes we don't work withcertain partners because our

(47:53):
colors don't match.
And so I think based on a color,I just thought of it, you're
probably a magenta.
Magenta people who loveattention.
They are very extravagant.
They have like cool cars.
They have tattoos.
They like to be in the center ofattention.
Very magnetic people.
I think you're magenta.

(48:13):
Look it up.
It's really interesting.
I'm a

SPEAKER_01 (48:15):
violet.
The funny thing is, you know,when you said that you're
introvert, like you're sociallyawkward.
I'm very socially awkward.
And I know you're looking at melike, yeah, whatever.
I'm on the spectrum.
And if I'm comfortable in mycomfort area, I'm good.

(48:36):
But if I have to meet someonethat I don't know, I get
anxiety.
I'm like, all right, what do Isay?
I'm going to sound stupid.
Yeah, me too.
I'm not...
I'm really not, I'm not,wouldn't say I'm an introvert,
but I'm just, I'm not that, hi,I'm Mary.
I'm not, that's, I'm not thatperson at all.
I am not a welcoming committee.

(48:57):
I will always take the back seatand just observe.
And, and when I see people thatare outgoing and very, you know,
like in certain, like, likesalespeople and they don't have
a problem, like it just floorsme.
I'm like, how do you do that?
Like, I would feel like, Soawkward.

SPEAKER_00 (49:17):
Do you think it's coming from our European
upbringing?
Because I feel like in Europe...
friendship needs to be deserved.
It's kind of like, you know, youdon't trust everybody, whoever
smiles at you and, you know, andbe all friendly.
Or you

SPEAKER_01 (49:31):
even trust them less if they smile.

SPEAKER_00 (49:34):
Right?
And the next thing, they stabyou in the back, right?
Yeah, I think it's more of our,maybe like self-preservation
instinct, maybe.
We try and kind of first observeand see, can I trust you?
Do you want to be friends withyou?
And then we dive in.
I'm very selective.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (49:51):
My group is is quite small

SPEAKER_00 (49:53):
so what does it take to be in the circle

SPEAKER_01 (49:55):
that is so funny that you said that because I
have so many people that saythat like oh I just got lucky
and I got you at a weak momentand now I'm in the inner circle
I'm like what the fuck does thatmean like I'm so special yeah
yeah like um you know I'm justme I'm just rolling along living
my life but I do it and I'vedone that with partners too it's

(50:17):
like well if you want to be mypartner well you got to jump on
my train because I'm not trainedto changing my trajectory so
it's like you adopt my lifestyleof what I do and how I pack my
food and I eat and I do thesethings and I eat only organic
non-gmo I don't shop in grocerystores I'm very you know I'm
it's like if you can hop on thattrain we're good but I'm not

(50:39):
going to be with someone thatfucking eats

SPEAKER_00 (50:43):
whatever is it selfish would you do the same
for your partner

SPEAKER_01 (50:47):
Pardon?

SPEAKER_00 (50:47):
Isn't it selfish, like, for you wanting...
Not at all.
Because they can

SPEAKER_01 (50:52):
always say no.
They get the freedom of choice.
We all have the freedom ofchoice.

SPEAKER_00 (50:56):
But would you compromise on their...
I'm not

SPEAKER_01 (50:59):
compromising shit.

SPEAKER_00 (51:00):
Nothing.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (51:01):
I don't have to.
Do you know why?
That's why you're celibate.
It's my life.

SPEAKER_00 (51:05):
But don't you think...
I mean, through yourexperiences, you've had
relationships.
Do you think...
I mean not successful, I hatethat word.
Like happy relationship isalways like 50-50 compromising
on things.

SPEAKER_01 (51:18):
It's never 50-50.

SPEAKER_00 (51:19):
It's never 50-50.

SPEAKER_01 (51:19):
It is give and take.
But, I mean, I was in a marriagein the Bible Belt where it was
traditional.
You know, the husband is thehead of the house.
And my husband, like, threwclothes of mine away that he
didn't like.
I didn't speak out of turn.
I did what I was told.
So, yes, potentially what yousee now could be a bit of a

(51:41):
reaction.
I'd like to say I've come tocenter ground.
But what I've realized is thatit's not even me being an
asshole.
I don't have to compromiseanything.
You know, none of us do.
You are who you are, and youshould be able to freely be who
you are.
And you shouldn't have to go,you know, I really don't feel
good about doing this, but I'lldo it because you want me.

(52:01):
No, you don't have to do that.
I spent a good portion of mylife doing that.

SPEAKER_00 (52:05):
But see, the problem for me is that we get so
comfortable and live byourselves, right?
It's the most comfortable thing.
You have your routine.
You have...
things the way you want them andof course it's always
uncomfortable to have anotherperson but then don't you think
you have to choose either justbe this lone wild stranger loner
rather than okay I'm willing alittle bit to compromise I'm

(52:29):
like sacrifice here and therebut then I will be in a
partnership in a relationshipAnd you clearly chose the option
that's more convenient for you,right?
Because it gives you freedom.
It gives you the freedom to bewho you are.
But don't you think after sometime you would have regretted
saying, oh, maybe I shouldhave...
Not have done it all.

SPEAKER_01 (52:48):
And when you say yes to this thing, you're saying no
to all this over here.
So when you say yes to amarriage or a partner, you're
saying no to a lot of otherthings.
When you say yes to being singleor celibate, I'm saying no, but
I'm okay with that.
I mean, I could fuck them andsend them home.
I did that for two years, too,after my divorce.

(53:10):
Fuck them and send them home.
Can I get your number?
No, but thanks for your dick.
I like the boot kick.
I mean, you know, it's so Like,I've done all those things.
And for me, I'm not whiteknuckling being single.

SPEAKER_00 (53:28):
It just happens.
And I

SPEAKER_01 (53:29):
don't feel like I'm giving up anything by not
getting in a relationship.
I honestly, I'm very organic.
If someone showed up and I feltlike, boom, I was like, all
right, I'm going to roll withthis.
I would.
I would roll with it.
Look at me.
look at my car, look at myattitude in life, how many men

(53:51):
do you think approach me?

SPEAKER_00 (53:53):
I would say they would be very intimidated.
So that's actually anotherquestion.
And I'm okay with it.
Do you think, you know, I'veheard, I don't know if it's
Madonna said, she said, strongmen would never be intimidated
by strong women.
Weak men would be intimidated bystrong women.
But because the percentage ofstrong men...

(54:15):
is so small, and most of themalready take him.
I was going to say, and they're

SPEAKER_01 (54:18):
all fucking married.
They're already married.
Because I get a handful of them.
It's like, no, I would fuck withhim, but he's married.
He's married, right?
And I don't do that.
I am very, my integrity in thatway, it's like, there's a lot of
men I could fuck.
I don't need to fuck the marriedones, and I won't do that to
another woman.
I wouldn't do that.
But I do know a handful of menthat's like, Like, they like me.

(54:39):
Like, oh, he could handle me.
Like, they meet me where I'm at.
But, yeah, they're married.
Yeah, those men are married.

SPEAKER_00 (54:46):
That's where they have

SPEAKER_01 (54:47):
the confidence.
And the weak ones, yeah, no,they crawl up.
And I'm like, I don't do thatgame anymore.
Get off your knees.

SPEAKER_00 (54:54):
I would feel like younger men would be less
intimidated by you.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_01 (54:57):
they are.
I would assume, huh?
The younger ones are.
I'm just tired of teaching themshit.

SPEAKER_00 (55:04):
I bet, yeah.
I mean, I think the philosophyis that younger men need to be
mentored by older women, andyounger women need to be, you
know, taken care of by oldermen, kind of.
I think there's a

SPEAKER_01 (55:19):
balance.
Yeah, I think there's a balancein there somewhere.
But we live in a little bit of awonky world where, you know,
especially in this world outhere in L.A., where women just
want to find a man with money totake care of them.
And I'm like, why don't youfigure out who you are first?
Like, figure out, you know, likeyour own strengths.

(55:41):
And then that way, when thatfalls apart, because he's going
to cheat on you, you know whatyou can go do.

SPEAKER_00 (55:49):
Well, most of the times, most women don't
understand that money alwayscomes with conditions.
Money always comes with...
controlling.
Money would never come withfreedom and respect.
You have to give and take and alot of women don't understand
and to me it's difficult forsuccessful women to find
successful men because theywouldn't want to be controlled.

(56:12):
They wouldn't want to be toldwhat to do.
Because they've done itthemselves.
They've done it themselves.
And so of course if you'reaccepting the comfortable
lifestyle you have to give awayother things.
Like you're not your own personanymore,

SPEAKER_01 (56:24):
right?
You're bought with a price.
And I've been told that.
I've been told that by men wherethey say, well, you don't need
me.
I'm like, no, I don't need you.
Obviously, look at the car Iprovided for myself.
Like I run my own life.
I don't need you.
I want you.
Isn't that a far better...

(56:44):
You want a needy fucking woman?
Is that what you want?
Someone that's like...
Like...
Well, if that's what you want,go find it, because that ain't
me.

SPEAKER_00 (56:53):
But, you know, honestly, I also feel like I
started feeling for men recentlybecause I feel they have so much
pressure, too, right now.
So many checkboxes.
And I talk to some of mygirlfriends, and they want them
to be successful and tall andhandsome and smart and funny and
this and that.
I'm asking, what are youproviding in exchange?
You can cook.

(57:14):
I mean, you're not reallyexpanding your skills.
You don't have many hobbies.
I mean, you might be successful.
You probably don't even suck agood dick.
That's true, right?

SPEAKER_01 (57:22):
It's like,

SPEAKER_00 (57:22):
be good at something, bitch.
That's true.
Actually, that's a whole othertopic, but I feel like not many
women.
No, I have one

SPEAKER_01 (57:29):
of my clients.
She's very conservative.

SPEAKER_00 (57:32):
She's been training

SPEAKER_01 (57:33):
with me for years, and she just never knows what to
do with me.
And it's all about energy.
Yes, and she for Valentine'sDay, she was like, I'm making
John this apple pie with thelettuce.
I make it every year.
It's my specialty, and he justloves it.
Apple pie with lettuce.
I said, yep, you know what, Em?
I said, we're all good atsomething.

(57:54):
I said, I don't do apple pies.
And she goes, oh, yeah, I didn'tthink you did.
I said, I used to do chocolatemousse pies.
I said, but Dennis would belike, you ever make an apple
pie?
I was like, nah, chocolatemousse.
I said, yeah, apple pies withthe lettuce crust.
I'm not good at that.
I said, but I suck a mean dick.
She just rolled her

SPEAKER_00 (58:13):
eyes.
That's true.
And a lot of guys, it just feelslike because if you accept that,
you accept him.
And a lot of women rejectingthat, they're rejecting the man.
And it's like, again, going backto my Telegram secret channels
that I follow, there's quite alot to learn.
But I feel women feel like theyknow it all.
And they put so much pressure onthe guys.
And you think, there's notextbook for guys, at least for

(58:34):
women.
We watch like romance and thisand that.
Where do the guys getinformation?
From porn?
Well, and

SPEAKER_01 (58:39):
men have been programmed to.
That's why when a man who mightbe close to my age, who I don't
fuck with, I keep a stethoscopeon my wall for a reason.
I ain't trying to kill nobody.
But when they're around my age,they've been programmed where
like, oh, I'm supposed to takecare of a woman.
I'm supposed to provide moneyand I'm supposed to, it's like,

(59:00):
look, that's a bunch of bullshittoo.
It's like, if you find someoneand you guys, that's where
you're at and this is what shewants and that's what you want,
that's great.
Then you'll make that work.
And that's why it comes down toindividual thing.
But we, as our gender roles,we've been programmed that we're
supposed to be a certain, we'resupposed to fit in these

(59:22):
categories and meet these needsfor each other.
And it's like human beings justaren't that cut and dry.
They're just not.
It's a funny thing to me in lifethat we accept variety in
different types of trees,different animals, different
plants, different flowers.
We celebrate the variety.
Oh my God, look at thatbeautiful rose versus that

(59:43):
little daisy.
But when it comes to humanity,we don't celebrate variety.
We want, everything has to be,you know, you're different.
That's okay.
We celebrate those differencesand everything else in nature,
but not in each other as humanbeings.
So it's like, there's not thesecut and dry, like, you know,

(01:00:05):
rules that we're supposed tolike, if you're a man, you're
supposed to be this in arelationship.
And if you're a woman, you'resupposed to be, it's, that's

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:12):
not how it works.
But do you think we don't acceptthings like, And that's why I
think bullying comes from theunknown, from the fear of not
being exposed to differentcultures, to different types of
personalities, to different, youknow, upbringing methods, things
like that.
So usually the hate and thebullying comes from fear of the

(01:00:35):
unknown, right?
Yes, 100%.
That's where most of thenarrow-minded people come from,
run from the places they haven'tseen, they haven't traveled.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:43):
Why are you wearing that thing on your head, the

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:46):
hijab?

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:47):
I've heard it a lot.
Why are you dressed like that?
Dressed like what?
Yeah,

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:52):
this is my normal grocery shopping outfit.
So

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:58):
actually, yeah, I agree.
It's just it's a fear.
It's not what you were taught orraised with or what you saw.
And so it's outside of yourscope of understanding.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:09):
And it's scary, especially nowadays with the
modern dating culture.
It's like you hear and know thisis what you're supposed to do.
And you're trying to do that.
But then you're scared.
But then people get hurt andpeople don't take
accountability.
It's like I feel like it's sucha crazy part.
There's no winning.
And you feel like it's probablyso Right.
Options.

(01:01:29):
Right.
You think these are options, butthen you keep hopping from one

(01:01:52):
person to another to another toanother.
You're still

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:54):
searching.
Because you think that theoptions are better than sticking
with the

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:59):
one.
Sticking.
And that's what my sister wassaying.
She's like, hey, if you pickthat one person and you're both
committed, there's no way youcannot find a solution of how to
work things out.
You can be happy and you findthis.
100%.
You just

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:10):
make the decision.
And that could be any choice youmake, and you can be perfectly
happy with that decision.
You just have to say it.
This is what

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:18):
I'm doing.
But I think it's this modernculture, like you said, the
conditioning where...
they tell you, like in themovies, oh, if you're not happy,
move on.
Like if you're not, you know,feeling great, like just, you
know, leave it behind all thetoxic people around you.
Like, but nobody tells you abouttenacity.
Hey, like maybe you need to havea hard conversation.

(01:02:40):
Maybe you have to confront theperson and say, hey, you know
what?
I'm not going to like swallowwhat you told me yesterday, but
I'm going to tell you, I don'tlike that.
You know, I'm not ready.
I'm not willing to compromise.
But that's a hard conversation.
Rather be go somebody and say,oh, you know, I'm not
comfortable.
Bye.
And then you move on.
And then you have stillsomething unresolved and keep
hopping and hopping.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:01):
Now, I think we've all seen those older couples
that seem absolutely miserablewith each other.
And you think, why did you guysstay together all these years?
Because that was what wasacceptable.
And I think that they could beperfectly happy had they...
learned how to address thingswith each other and continue to

(01:03:22):
grow through the years.
But I think because of beingraised with a certain mindset or
how things are supposed to be,it's like, well, we're married
and that's that.
And then they just kind of grewapart.
And you see them sometimes ingrocery stores and they're just
like, ah,

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:36):
to each other.
That's the worst I feel like.
It's like living an unhappy lifeand just settling for
unhappiness.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:42):
But by the same token...
coming to like sword points in anew relationship and going, oh,
well, I guess we're just notmeant to be together.
And then throwing in the towel.
It's two

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:54):
extremes, I guess.
Yeah.
And it's hard to find like thatbalance, which is, and I guess
all comes to the same thing,which you were saying in the
beginning, it just really findyou, find your own happiness,
know yourself, know thyself,knowing what makes you happy,
knowing, you know, what bringsyou joy.
And then you make decisions fromthat point, not looking for
those things in other people,Well, that comes from a deficit.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:16):
And that's what I say to people.
When you are looking like for awoman that's looking for a man
to take care of her.
And I'm like, well, you'restarting out from a deficit.
You're showing up at the tableand you're already draining from
that relationship because youhave a deficit yourself to start

(01:04:38):
with.
And sometimes men too, you know,they'll show up and maybe
they've lived their lives withtheir mommy always taking care
of them and cooking for them andpicking up their dirty underwear
and whatever it is and they'relooking for a woman to do that
too because they don't want todo it and it's like that's a
deficit learn how to take careof yourself learn how to cook
learn how to keep your fuckingapartment clean and your bed

(01:04:58):
made you know don't come into arelationship already with
deficits expecting this otherperson to somehow fill your
holes like that's just it's arecipe for disaster and we're
all gonna have a certain amountof deficits or But to expect
another human to somehow fillthat, it's never going to end

(01:05:20):
well.
You have to fill those thingsyourself.
You've got to figure that out.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:25):
And that's hard work.
It is.
It's constant work.
But

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:30):
it comes down to something as simple as, and this
is what I say to people, I'mvery anti-medicine, Western
medicine.
None of my kids are immunized.
I don't do drugs.
I don't even do ibuprofen.
I haven't been to a doctor inover 20 years.
And I say this to people.
Whenever someone gets aheadache, they want to take a
pill, get rid of it.
Whenever someone's stomach isupset, rather than let their

(01:05:52):
body vomit, they're going totake something to settle it.
Diarrhea, take something.
That's uncomfortable.
A head cold, take something toget rid of it.
Clear the sinuses.
They never let their body detoxbecause they don't want to be in
the least bit uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable.
And it's like, no, these...

(01:06:13):
And that's like the simplestform of this living organism.
When it's trying to detox fromsomething, it's trying to get
something out, a bacteria, avirus, whatever.
It's something that's harmingit.
You ate something and it's like,oh, sorry, we're going to get
the shits now because we've gotto get this out.
People are like, no, no, no, no,no, no, no.
They always want to becomfortable.

(01:06:34):
They'll pop a pill.
They'll do...
Whatever they do.
So they're not ever wanting toface those areas of discomfort.
And that even comes down to themost simple of our living
organism.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:45):
And most of the times, I don't know exactly the
scientific explanation, but doyou believe even if
psychologically we're goingthrough something, we'll start
having some kind of a disease?
Yes.
And our bodies...
especially in an unhappyrelationship, have you noticed
how women start fading?
Like their hair becomes dry,like the skin breaks down, or
they have something going onwith their body, so the natural

(01:07:08):
response of the body is saying,you need to change, you need to
get out.
Like it's a signal, right?
So a body is so amazing that ittells you right there, like
something is off, right?
I can say it starts here.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:19):
This creates your reality.
I mean, we literally get tocreate a reality.

UNKNOWN (01:07:25):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:28):
I'm kind of living proof of that.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:32):
No, you are.
I mean, I feel like I have somany more questions.
We are like a little bit out oftime.
I want you to just lastlycomment.
You actually posted, I spied alittle bit on your Instagram
stories, and you posted a quoteby Marcus Aurelius.
I

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:48):
am stoic, yes.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:49):
Me too.
High five.
So you said strong, I mean,Marcus Aurelius said, strong
minds suffer without complainingand weak minds complain without
suffering.
Without suffering.
What does it mean to you?

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:02):
That people will, me for instance, maybe I make
difficulty just to push through.
to not only prove to myself butto show other people that what
we would define as sufferingdoesn't have to be suffering.

(01:08:24):
So you don't have to think thatyou're suffering or complain
about it.
And then yet I have people in mylife that are very affluent,
very well off, have everythingat their fingertips, but they
yet on the daily will find justso many things to bitch about.

(01:08:45):
Like, everything's a problem.
And I'm like, how do you haveany problems in your life?
It's

SPEAKER_00 (01:08:52):
kind of like more victim mentality, right?
Yes.
It's more getting that attentionand getting the justification
for your pain, for yoursuffering, because they don't
have any other avenues toexpress themselves.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:02):
They're drumming

SPEAKER_00 (01:09:03):
up drama.
Drumming up, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:04):
My brother Russell, who was a drug addict, he had a
victim's mentality.
He was a drug addict becausewe...
moved here to America and henever wanted to leave Scotland.
He was a drug addict because hedidn't get the same
opportunities because my dadmade him work in the bakery when
he first came here.
He was a drug addict.
He had all these finger pointsto everyone outside of himself

(01:09:28):
as to why his life was ashambles.
And it's like, no.

SPEAKER_00 (01:09:33):
You are the problem.
Fix it.
You're a fucking adult.
So to wrap it up, for thosepeople who are watching and
maybe something is burninginside them and they want to
make a change in their life butthey don't know how, what would
be the advice you would tellthem to find that inner fire?
Oh

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:56):
my God, I'm going to be Nike cliche.
Go for it.
Just do it.
This is my little saying.
Head down, hoodie up, headseton, move.
Don't look to the right or theleft.
Don't overthink.
Just put the hoodie up, put theheadset in, put your head down,

(01:10:19):
move.
Just move.
Just go.
Don't rationalize.
Don't explain.
Just do it.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:30):
That was really insightful.
Thank you for this conversation.
I wish we had three, four morehours.
I didn't even get to thequestions about the nutrition
and fasting, all the things, butI feel like at some point I
would love to do part twobecause you have a very
interesting approach to life andI would love more people to hear

(01:10:52):
about it and not hear it likefrom some, you know, fluffy
super sweet you know channelsthat say from a real person
that's

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:00):
actually living what they believe

SPEAKER_00 (01:11:02):
living what you believe and you live happily and
you look amazing and you havegreat energy and i'm very
grateful that you agreed to comeon the basic show and talk to me
and share your story i'm likereally inspired from today i'm
definitely going to turn off mytv for today Starting small

(01:11:22):
steps.
Yeah.
Well, we had Mary Brandon today.
Thank you so much.
And I hope one day we have parttwo.
Awesome.
That would be great.
Thank you.

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MAIRE BRANDON: 62-Year-Old Natural Bodybuilder | EPISODE 4

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}MAIRE BRANDON: 62-Year-Old Natural Bodybuilder | EPISODE 4