Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
I have been on
interviews where somebody says,
you know, monogamy is a dealbreaker by their third date,
both in love.
Both exclusive.
SPEAKER_01 (00:08):
I've been talking to
catfish for quite a while and
was really invested.
Catfish relationship photosdon't necessarily really invest
in everybody.
SPEAKER_02 (00:18):
So when people say
it's an expense, I say actually
it's an investment.
SPEAKER_01 (00:47):
Welcome to the basic
show season four, surprise part
two.
We have a very special guest,Marielle Philipponi.
Perfect, the co-founder of thematchmaking agency called When
We're First.
Hello, Mariel.
Welcome to the basic show.
Hi, thank you.
We're gonna have an expresssession to give a little uh
(01:08):
feedback and maybe have a littlebit different perspective from
your point of view as aco-founder of um how we met.
So let's talk a little bit aboutyour clients.
I really, and I'm sure ourlisteners and um viewers would
love to hear some successstories.
Can you give us maybe twothings?
Uh, success stories and maybesome that were unfortunately a
(01:29):
failure.
We want to hear both options,right?
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (01:33):
It's it's definitely
more authentic to tell you both
sides of what can happen.
That's partly what we do.
SPEAKER_01 (01:38):
Yeah, we want to
hear that's right.
SPEAKER_02 (01:40):
Yeah.
Hey, we like to tell you exactlywhat we do.
Uh, and it's it's prettyinteresting because there is a
lot of intuition to it.
There really is.
It's hard to explain.
It's you can't even necessarilytrain on that.
It's like you automaticallythink of somebody that pops into
your mind when somebody else,you're on an interview with
(02:00):
somebody else, and you think ofsomebody that you might have
interviewed six months before,and you contact them to see if
they're even still single, youknow.
Um, a lot of that happens withwhat what we do.
And I think that's what's whatsome people just don't
understand that matchmaking, thereason why it is such a, you
know, um, I will say it's anexpense, but it's more of an
(02:21):
investment in our eyes.
Because what's more importantthan potentially meeting, you
know, the right type of peoplethat you want to date, right?
We all want to find and connectwith people.
And so when people say it's anexpense, I say actually it's an
investment.
And we spend so much timeinterviewing people.
We can spend an hour and 20minutes to two hours minimally
(02:41):
interviewing people.
So when we're on theseinterviews, we think of other
people.
We've interviewed, we've metclients that we have, and our
team meets so often that we'reconstantly kind of exchanging
notes on who we're looking for,and somebody just pops into your
mind, and you know, nine timesout of ten, it actually ends up
being a really close fit.
(03:02):
I mean, we we're the the womenand men, a part of this team,
are really truly incredible.
SPEAKER_01 (03:08):
So let's talk
specifics.
We want to know the specifics.
Give us an example of twocouples that met through the
matchmaking services.
Okay, what are they looking for?
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (03:19):
One recently, I
actually had known this client.
This client contacted myself,I've known him for many years,
and he had had, you know,long-term relationships.
So I knew the kind of person hewas looking for.
However, I didn't interview himbecause we were too close.
You know, he ended up hiring ourmatchmaking team and on his
(03:42):
interview with one of ourmatchmakers, which by the way,
all of our matchmakers have, youknow, 16, 17 years experience.
They're they're not trained bysome certificate over a couple
months, right?
They actually have experiencekind of what we call in the
trenches.
But she happened to mention acouple key points that I never
knew about this person that I'dknown for years.
(04:05):
And when she said a couplethings.
Which were well, I I, forexample, I didn't know that he
felt very connected to wantingto be with somebody that was,
you know, very involved in herculture ethnically.
He really liked and wanted toembrace an ethnic culture with
whoever he was dating.
And I thought that was reallyfascinating because that to me
(04:28):
is not always what somebodymight, you know, say that they
are looking for.
He wanted somebody really deeplyrooted in family, that family
meant a lot.
A lot of people do say that.
But when I heard thatspecifically about wanting to be
a part of something a little bitdeeper and stronger in that
department, automatically this Ilove the sound.
(04:55):
Automatically, this woman thatis very connected culturally
from Mexico, born and raised inMexico, immigrated to the United
States, has been here for a verylong time, but still very
connected to her roots.
I she just popped into my mind.
And I introduced them for adate.
I I told to the matchmaker, youhave to get in touch with this
person.
They go on their first date.
(05:16):
She wasn't sure at first.
By their third date, both inlove, both exclusive.
This is recently just happened.
SPEAKER_01 (05:22):
Wow.
So it makes you almost like ahuman database, right?
I don't know how many people youhave to carry in the back of
your mind to be able to putthose puzzles together, right?
Well, that's exactly right.
SPEAKER_02 (05:33):
Yeah.
You have to almost kind of thinkof people, right?
And have so much data stored onpeople's interests, you know,
whether or not, you know, uhchildren are their priority or
not.
There's so many things,religious backgrounds, you know,
um, of course, geographiclocations, but people are very
open to moving for love thesedays as well.
(05:56):
They're open to relocatingbecause times have changed and
people can work from anywhere.
So that's actually played a hugefactor in dating.
We actually do have quite apeople that will date by coastal
and then one might move.
SPEAKER_01 (06:08):
So you mentioned
before that it is an investment,
right?
We do invest in education, we doinvest in our health, in our
projects, but we do not investin what's the most important,
right, in our relationship.
But at the same time, um, if youdo have so at the same time,
it's a high-price service,right?
So you mentioned before, if I'mnot mistaken, the matchmaking
(06:31):
services could be like from$6,000 to$100,000 investment.
Does it also limit at the sametime with a little bit more bias
for finding a true match?
Or you're only matching thosecouples or those partners or
candidates who actually investin the service?
What if, you know, the love ofhis life might be waiting, you
know, in the bar next door whocannot afford that service?
(06:52):
What do you do about that?
Do you only work with bothpaying uh partners uh in in your
services?
SPEAKER_02 (06:59):
So that's why we
created the dating app.
Uh-huh.
That's why we wanted to be thenumber one matchmaking company
in the world with the mostamount of singles that we have
access to, speaking to,interviewing.
They don't necessarily have toboth come to the table with the
same investment.
That's not actually what we lookfor.
That would be completely like toyour point, that would be not a
match necessarily.
(07:20):
Just because two people came tothe table with the same
investment doesn't mean anythingto us as matchmakers.
What we do is we spend more timeon the person that paid us.
We are looking for what they'relooking for.
SPEAKER_01 (07:32):
It's more like a
customized approach.
SPEAKER_02 (07:33):
It's very customized
approach where there's
guaranteed dates, whereas wemight put them on a date with
somebody that didn't necessarilypay us, but that's the only date
they're gonna get from us,potentially.
SPEAKER_01 (07:42):
So say they pay you
a certain fee and they
guaranteed how many dates?
SPEAKER_02 (07:46):
It depends on their
membership.
We do have differentmemberships, and that we really
can't extend a membership tojust anyone.
We've actually turned downpeople for memberships.
We really do extend membershipsto people.
We know without a shadow ofdoubt that we could get them
guaranteed dates.
We can't actually extend amembership to just everyone.
SPEAKER_01 (08:07):
What was the reason
for rejection?
SPEAKER_02 (08:09):
Uh honestly, some
people aren't fully divorced.
That's a that's a big one.
We don't want to be we don'twant to be in a business where
you know there's some grayareas.
Come in.
SPEAKER_01 (08:24):
Join the
conversation.
SPEAKER_02 (08:25):
No gray areas.
SPEAKER_01 (08:26):
All the singles,
like, wait, what?
Did I hear matchmaking service?
unknown (08:30):
We're here.
SPEAKER_01 (08:30):
Okay, so they're not
fully divorced, right?
They're not fully committed tobe right in the new research.
SPEAKER_02 (08:36):
You know, and it's
very interesting because the
world's evolving.
I have been on interviews wheresomebody says, you know,
monogamy is a deal breaker, andmost people come to us because
they want monogamy.
It's it's rare to be able tohave, you know, a lot of people
coming to a matchmaking servicethat that don't want monogamy.
Uh it's we do hear it, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (09:04):
I love the sound of
like keep going, keep going.
It's just yeah, part of oursound.
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
We do, we do hear
that, but it's so rare that we
really can't necessarily extenda membership to just to just
everybody if we don't have, youknow, if we really legitimately
just don't have a lot of peoplethat are looking for that, it's
not honest of us to be able toextend a membership.
SPEAKER_01 (09:24):
So you do some kind
of an extension extensive
background research on your um.
SPEAKER_02 (09:28):
We do what we call
like more of a soft kind of
background check as much aspossible that we can do.
And there are some softwares andservices out there that we have
invested in for things likethat.
Um, so that does help absolutelyin in ensuring that you know
it's an authentic experience anda safe experience.
(09:49):
I think that's what a lot ofpeople come to us for too, is to
make sure that they're safelydating.
SPEAKER_01 (09:54):
So your uh app is
relatively new.
Can you share us of how manymembers approximately do you
currently have registered?
SPEAKER_02 (10:01):
I know we have quite
a few.
SPEAKER_01 (10:03):
Okay.
unknown (10:05):
Whoops.
SPEAKER_02 (10:05):
I don't know that
number.
SPEAKER_01 (10:07):
That's fine.
What I mean, like it's dozens,hundreds, thousands.
SPEAKER_02 (10:10):
Oh, yeah, tens of
thousands that we're working on.
Um however, we also firmlybelieve in quality over
quantity.
We've seen a lot of dating appshave, you know, millions of
users, and the percentage ofauthenticity and safety that
they feel, that they feel likeit's a good place to meet
(10:30):
somebody, it's very low.
We'd rather have a higherpercentage in quality versus
quantity.
And so we definitely are growingat, I would say, a very organic,
you know, kind of grassrootsstyle.
SPEAKER_01 (10:45):
Do you do any sort
of like ID um verification?
SPEAKER_02 (10:48):
Oh, absolutely.
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (10:50):
I've been talking to
catfish for quite a while and
was really invested in thecatfish relationship, and then
you realize, okay, it wastalking to a not real, I mean,
it was a real person, but it washiding behind somebody really
handsome uh profile.
SPEAKER_02 (11:03):
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, it's you're not the onlyone and you won't be the last.
There's several stories that wehear about.
SPEAKER_00 (11:10):
Good experience
though.
SPEAKER_02 (11:11):
Experience because
everything you go through does
make you better, it does improvedating for you in general and
and overall.
However, it is frustratingbecause you don't want to waste
time.
No one wants to waste theirtime.
SPEAKER_01 (11:24):
Do you think having
this matchmaking services it's a
threat to actual humanrelationship and makes men and
women more lazy to go out thereand to put in effort and to meet
somebody in person?
SPEAKER_02 (11:38):
You know, that's
interesting uh to think that
way.
I actually believe that peopleare wasting so much more time,
uh, sometimes on their own.
If you think about it, you know,dating is emotional.
Relationships are emotional, youknow.
Um why would you want to kind ofgo through that alone when you
(11:59):
could have a team, you couldhave somebody supporting you
through that?
It's it's one of the hardestthings that people even kind of
go through, other than grieving,of course.
But dating in general, you know,um, relationships, they do
require a lot of emotion.
And so I do believe that, youknow, why would you kind of
(12:22):
waste your time doing it alone?
That's really why we created thehuman button for people to have
that coaching and thatcheerleader or that voice of
reason that they can connectwith.
So they don't they might notnecessarily be able to afford
matchmaking, but maybe they dolook forward to coaching calls,
and that's available in our appas well.
SPEAKER_01 (12:41):
So, what happens if
you have a human, a client who
paid for the services and stilldidn't find their match?
SPEAKER_02 (12:49):
So we don't
necessarily guarantee that they
will find their match.
Okay.
We guarantee dates they wouldactually want to go on.
So we have a really uniqueprocess, whereas, you know, 100%
of the matchmakers out therethat we're aware of, they really
set up on blind dates.
We actually are the only companythat I know of.
(13:11):
Let's keep going that I lovethis plans.
SPEAKER_00 (13:18):
I don't know why it
gives me a gooey.
No, it's cool.
I feel like I'm in a movie.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (13:21):
It kind of is like
the set.
SPEAKER_00 (13:22):
I know it is, right?
SPEAKER_02 (13:24):
Um, but we are the
only company that I'm aware of
that actually shows you somephotos.
We we actually create an entireprofile to be able to present to
our matchmaking clients.
So we will talk about, you know,we will only mention first name,
no last names, no place of work,nothing that would cross that
confidentiality line.
But we would at least exploreand advocate for the person we
(13:46):
want to introduce them tobecause a lot of times photos
can't express who someone is.
Unfortunately, people are soaccustomed to swiping and
pre-judging.
Whereas we have found that whenpeople sit across the table from
another person, you know, sparkscan fly, chemistry can be there,
but they would have maybe, youknow, nine times out of ten,
(14:06):
swiped no on somebody becausephotos don't necessarily bring
out the best in everybody.
SPEAKER_01 (14:14):
So, how how involved
are you and the people that
you're working with?
Let's say you arrange the firstdates, say everything went
great, there was chemistry thatstarted dating.
Do you just, you know, let thembe, or you keep working, like
you said, do coaching, or howelse are you involved besides
setting up?
We stay with them through thewhole journey.
It's usually either a Oh,Swedish family, I love it.
SPEAKER_02 (14:37):
It's it's almost
like a, you know, like a nine to
12 month commitment of we callit a membership, but yes,
there's coaching weekly that'sprovided from again experts that
know what they're doing and knowhow to advise through different
scenarios.
Um, you know, we can preparepeople for dates.
We can help them make and lookand feel their best.
(14:58):
At the end of the day, we wantto hear the feedback though.
That's what we want to get to.
SPEAKER_01 (15:01):
We want to get to
the right, you look great, you
look amazing, your shirt looksgood, the tie looks flat.
SPEAKER_02 (15:06):
Show me your outfit,
you know, send me a video.
SPEAKER_01 (15:09):
I know.
So you pretty much almost likethe, I don't know, is it like
family they never had?
SPEAKER_02 (15:13):
Well, yeah, we we
all we do feel that way.
We do feel like I get very closeto clients, you know.
Um, and we do say, hey, we thinkyou really should get
professional photography donebefore we present you.
Uh and we actually telleverybody that 100% of our
clients, we recommend that theyget professional photography
done.
You know, they've done somethingwith their hair, whatever it is,
(15:35):
right?
Um, we do not want, you know,our male clients to hold a fish
and wear a hat with sunglassesbecause that's what 99% of them
do.
It might be a girl who attractedto that fish.
Yeah, there are some women thatlove to fish.
Yes.
We just don't believe thatthat's the most authentic photo
to put forward as the firstcouple photos.
(15:57):
We think it should be maybetowards the back of the photo.
SPEAKER_01 (16:01):
I mean, man, I look
through so many profiles, I
always know, okay, this is thecap guy, this is the mother guy.
And I'm like, always picturewith the mother.
Kind of fishy as here, like too,you know, uh, she's too
controlling, you know, picturewith the dog, no, you know,
picture with the fish, no.
SPEAKER_02 (16:15):
Right, but see, but
your mind is already.
Whereas maybe if you sat acrossfrom the table with this person,
you might say, Oh, we have somuch in common.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, my husband,honestly, on paper, I've told my
husband this.
He's the love of my life.
I'm so thankful that, you know,he did pursue and he worked hard
(16:36):
to make me kind of see what, youknow, but on paper, I didn't
think that he was necessarilywho I was looking for.
We started, you know, kind oftalking and dating, and he was a
full smoker.
I didn't know that.
I owned gyms and I worked ingyms.
Can you imagine?
Do you think that I would, youknow, think of myself ending up
(16:57):
with a smoker in roadconstruction?
It's very popular in thatindustry, right?
But lo and behold, you know, hequit years later, not right
away, right?
But I always knew he wanted to.
So sometimes you also have tobring the best of the person,
maybe.
You both do in a relationship.
Hopefully, in a healthy,committed, loving relationship
(17:19):
and a partnership, you're bothalways pushing each other to be
better.
You know, that's really what Ibelieve at the end of the day
provides such great connectionsand long-term lasting
relationships.
SPEAKER_01 (17:31):
This is a great
point to wrap up this express um
conversation.
Always look for a partner whowill bring the best out of you
and always want the best for youfrom both sides.
That's right.
Well, thank you for being on thebasic show.
It was really great chattingwith you, getting a little more
insights on when we're first.
So please go on the website,check out the app, and I wish
(17:54):
all of you the very best andfind the true love of your life
and feel those butterflies againor for the first time.
Thank you for being on the basicshow.
SPEAKER_00 (18:02):
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you.