October 6, 2022 • 55 mins
What if the key to overcoming demonic oppression lies at the intersection of martial arts, trauma, and faith?
In this episode of The Blind Exorcist, I speak with Diane Barry — a Christian counselor, exorcist, and Taekwondo self-defense instructor with over 40 years of experience. Diane shares her powerful testimony of deliverance from demonization, her journey from Islam to Christianity, and how she found freedom through spiritual healing and exorcism in Jesus Christ.
Together, we explore how spiritual warfare and emotional trauma often go hand-in-hand, and how martial arts rooted in Eastern religions can unknowingly open doors to spiritual oppression.
What we cover in this episode:
✅ How trauma and abuse can lead to demonization and spiritual oppression
✅ The spiritual dangers hidden in martial arts and Eastern religious practices
✅ Signs and symptoms of demonic influence that are often misunderstood
✅ Why deliverance ministry is often the missing link between therapy and healing
✅ How dissociative identity disorder (DID) intersects with deliverance and exorcism
✅ Diane’s real-life experiences with exorcism and overcoming deep spiritual bondage
✅ The difference between psychological issues and true demonic influence
Whether you're facing spiritual torment, questioning your past involvement in martial arts, or simply seeking clarity about demonic influence, this episode offers biblical insight and hope through exorcism ministry.
Disclaimer: Links to guest websites or social media are for reference only and do not imply endorsement. The views expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect those of the host or The Blind Exorcist podcast.
💪 Book Your Deliverance Appointment – Join the community of Christians who have kicked out their demons and taken their freedom back!
🛡️ Not sure if you need deliverance? Schedule a free 20-minute consultation.
📰 Get Inspiring Christian Teachings on deliverance – Sign up for my newsletter at www.justind.com. Scroll to the bottom of the home page to join!
📱 Connect With Me – Have questions or thoughts? Tap "Send me a text message" above. 🎙️ I’ll answer selected questions on the podcast!
📝 One-Way Anonymous Communication – This is a one-way text messaging system. I won’t be able to respond, but I’ll read your message.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Episode 2 of the Blind Exorcist Podcast.
I'm Justin D, your host.
Thank you for listening.
Don't forget to join orsubscribe to the podcast and
share it out to your family,friends and on social media.
I have with us a taekwondoinstructor, diane Berry.
(00:25):
She's a taekwondo self-defenseinstructor with more than 40
years experience.
She's the GrandmasterInstructor of the Full Force
Ministries Champion Martial ArtsAssociation.
Woo, that's a mouthful.
Woo, that's a mouthful.
(00:51):
She's the 2012 inductee of theMidwest Women's Martial Arts
Hall of Fame of Excellence.
She's also a Christiancounselor and an exorcist.
Yeah, baby, very cool.
She's an ordained minister withSpiritual Freedom Church
International.
If you don't know what that is,this is the exorcism center for
(01:11):
Dr Bob Larson.
People worldwide come here toSpiritual Freedom Church
International.
It's in Scottsdale, arizona,and this is where Dr Bob Larson
performs many of his exorcismsin person.
Diane, thank you so much forcoming on the podcast and
hanging out with us.
(01:32):
Welcome to the Blind Exorcist.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
So happy to be here with you, Justin.
Thank you for having me on yes.
Looking forward, excited,excited to do this.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yeah, we've been trying to connect for a couple
weeks and finally we're here.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Right yeah, getting those schedules to meet.
But praise God, we're doing it.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
That's right.
So Taekwondo Now correct me ifI'm wrong.
Isn't that from?
Is that a South Korean style ofmartial arts, or isn't that
demonic?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Well, some of it definitely can be, but that all
depends on the instructor andthe type, and so it basically
means you can take each word andtranslate it as foot, hand or
mind, or the way of the hand andfoot, meaning how to defend
yourself with your hands andfeet.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
That's awesome.
So this is primarily a is it adefensive or offensive style of
martial arts.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Martial arts was originally created for defense,
so it was created for defense,primarily within the militaries
of countries for defense.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, yeah, so you're going to come in pretty quickly
and get down to business, rightand again, it depends on you
know, the practitioner.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Now, if there's a good instructor, a good teacher,
they're going to be teachingtheir students, like I've always
made all my new beginnerspromise that they're going to.
They make a promise thatthey're going to use it properly
, that it's not to use to be abully, right.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
To be honorable with it To show off.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, it's for self-defense, and I've given
examples of what that is, whatthat means.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Absolutely so.
You've done this for 40 years.
Yes, so you had to start this.
What late teens, early 20s.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah, mid-teens.
So I know that you and theaudience would be interested to
know my beginnings, yes, and myvery, very beginnings.
A lot of times when I share, itusually starts when I started
my formal training, 16, almostjust a few months before my 17th
(04:06):
birthday.
But going back way, way beforethat, to a toddler, yes, a
toddler.
I saw Bruce Lee as Kato on thetelevision show the pink panther
(04:29):
the green, no, the green, thegreen hornet oh, the green
hornet.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Well, I seen kato and the pink panther okay, so if
just to interject here.
If um people are listening tothis and you're like, what's the
pink panther?
They were, uh comedy moviesthat came out in kato.
Kato was a japanese martialartist that used to beat the
(04:58):
crap out of the um detective, soyou'll have to find it.
It's out there.
It's probably late seventies, Ithink, that came out.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
So more of the later generations are familiar with
Jet Li, and I just lost my mytrain of thought.
Jackie Chan, of course, jackieChan, jet Li, but you go back to
the 60s and 70s.
Bruce Lee was the man, he wasthe one who made martial arts
(05:34):
popular, not just in the Statesbut, I believe, around the world
.
He drew from the differentmartial arts and put them
together to create jikundo.
That's all man, my teaching andthat my instructor believe in
that.
You know, we got to be able todefend on your feet, with hands
only, with feet only on theground, if necessary with weapon
(05:56):
.
Without weapon you can't, youknow, you can't just be limited
well, that's when we get intothe whole mma.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
you know the amount of training that these guys do
in today's times, the amount ofdifferent types of martial arts,
from Brazilian jiu-jitsu totaekwondo, to whatever I mean,
it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So let's swing back to your early teens.
You're 17.
Yeah, and you sign up for what?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Well, first I got to share my beginnings, because
it's really interesting.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Keep going Sorry.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
It's fun, so anyway.
So, like I said, bruce Lee, hewas the man.
Then, of course, chuck Norriscame along, but before then
there was an in-between.
But, going back as a toddler,that show came out and aired in
1966 to 1967.
I was only a toddler.
That show came out and it airedin 1966 to 1967.
I was only a toddler, but yet Ihave these memories of watching
(06:53):
this incredible guy do theseincredible feats of self-defense
and the moves he was doing, the, the kicking and jumping, and I
was like, mouth open, jawdropped, as a, you know, two and
a half year old yeah,absolutely yeah and so then I
had that interest.
So it was, I believe, aGod-given love within me for the
(07:17):
martial arts, because God knewone day he was going to use that
to draw me to him, because myinstructors helped to lead me to
Christ.
There was also a like, asubconscious need for for defend
, to defend myself because oftrauma and things I suffered as
a as my formative developingyears.
(07:37):
So that created in me asubconscious need to defend
myself and that's what I saw inBruce Lee.
As a child, my uncle andcousins were training both
taekwondo and judo.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Oh, judo is really cool.
Yes, I always A lot of blindpeople are into judo because it
deals a lot with your hands andgrappling and blind people are
all about that.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, that's a good point.
The feel of the body?
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Now, just as an aside I mentioned this to you one
time, but I took one year of aJapanese style called Goshin
Jitsu.
Okay, and this was an offensiveand defensive martial arts
style and I loved it.
I went through my divorce so Ihad to stop.
I lost transportation, but Imean there was a lot of weapon
(08:29):
training in that.
You know which was, I don'tknow.
I loved it, it was cool.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
How old were you when you did that?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
I'm going to say I was 40 years old, 39, 39 years
old, and I went down to the dojo, I talked to the sensei and I
think they get up into like a10th degree black belt under
this style of stuff.
But I mean it's brutal man.
I mean we're talking knives,bows, staves, all that stuff,
(09:00):
right.
But, and like you're saying, hewould bring in a guy that was
trained in a style of Kung Fubut it was grappling like like
almost like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu,but it was Kung Fu, I don't
remember the style.
So he would integrate, you know, floor time.
Because you can't just, likeyou're saying, you just can't
(09:22):
learn one martial art.
You know this, this Japanesestyle Goshin Jitsu is all about
it's karate, right?
So I mean it's all about handand foot and you know all that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
So I enjoyed it without sight.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
You were able to do that, yeah, without eyesight,
yeah, and the the instructorswere really good.
You know we would.
You know I didn't get farenough to spar because you have
to get your white belt, the nextbelt up.
You start sparring where youput the headgear on and things
like that.
So I didn't get that far.
It was more hands on hands withwith the instructors.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
You know, initially I don't know how much you want me
to get into like a little bitof my testimony of coming to
Christ.
Do you want me to share alittle bit about that and how
that relates to my martial artstraining?
Sure, so, grandmaster, seniorGrandmaster, I would be.
So he is a military man, airForce man.
(10:17):
He was the highest rankingnon-Oriental or non-Asian black
belt in the world at that timeand he maintained that.
That the uh, the genuine,authentic rank title of that
until he.
He passed a few years back.
So he was the seniorgrandmaster of the organization
(10:41):
and his wife now she's'sGrandmaster, brenda J Sell, and
she runs the organization now.
They were both born-againChristians and just booming,
powerful evangelists.
They preached the word withpower and authority.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
So, wait, wait, this is interesting.
I got to interrupt you for justa minute, so you got a lot
going on here.
Girl, okay, here's what I'mlooking at from the outside.
Looking in, you're into Asianarts, you're raised Muslim Right
and your instructors areChristian.
(11:22):
Yes, so, there's a lot going onhere.
How old are you right now?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
16 at that time, Okay so 16 years old.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
What is your ethnicity?
Lebanese, lebanese.
Okay well, my best friendgrowing up was Lebanese.
Had all kinds of awesomeLebanese food, all kinds.
They introduced me to stuffedgrape leaves with lamb meat.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yep, yep Loved it.
My mom made them regularly.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
And the other thing they were real big on.
I don't know if this issomething that they came up with
or if this is an actualLebanese dish, but they called
it Lebanese salad.
But they called it Lebanesesalad and it had tomatoes, red
onion, cucumber and these wholeheads of wheat like the wheat in
(12:12):
the field.
You know they would have thiswheat inside of this thing, so I
don't know if that's.
Have you ever heard of anythinglike that?
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yes, I have.
And there's also the Fatoosh,which is I don't know if you
ever had that, but I love I have.
And there's also the fatoush,which is I don't know if you
ever had that, but I love, Ilove that.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
So, yeah, they introduced me to Mediterranean
house.
Father was Lebanese and hismother was Italian, so I was
eating good man.
So your parents both Lebanese.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Okay, were they from Lebanon or were they born here?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Okay.
Were they from Lebanon or werethey born here?
They're both 100% Lebanese inheredity and ethnicity.
My dad was born in Lebanon.
My mom was born here.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Wow, Fascinating.
So I mean, this is a strictMuslim family.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Growing up, I mean, we went to the mosque regularly.
You know we went to the mosqueon Sundays as I was growing up
and you know we abided by, youknow, not having the pork, and
back then the city that I livedin wasn't highly, highly Muslim
populated.
Today it's one of the most, orthe most populated you know in
(13:25):
the country.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
And where is that located?
If you don't mind me asking.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
The Detroit area.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Oh, in Detroit Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Dearborn, Michigan.
Dearborn, which is a neighborof Detroit.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Some people.
They just sadly that deceptionis I'm born.
I was born this way.
They think that that was God'splan, not realizing, no, that
there's a devil, a real devil, areal Satan that has come to
steal, kill and destroy.
He is a deceiver, and whatbetter way to deceive the masses
away from God is to createfalse religions.
(14:02):
And that's where the Quran andthese false religions and
stuff's, where the you know thequran and these false religions
and stuff came from yeah, youknow I wore the little golden
quran around my neck since thetime I was born and my mother
pin that on us, me and mysiblings the little islamic
symbols and stuff right and forme.
It was like my, almost like aprotection.
(14:23):
It helped me to feel close toGod, but not realizing that this
isn't of God, and I wantedtruth.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
You were a truth seeker.
I mean, you're raised in aMuslim family, but you're
seeking truth.
And then you got this Christian.
You know, instructor teachingyou martial arts.
You know, instructor teachingyou martial arts.
When did you first getintroduced to the concept that
Jesus Christ was God and not aprophet?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Now, that was an incredibly difficult process and
took a whole lot of baby steps.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
It would have to.
It would have to a whole lot ofbaby steps.
It would have to, it would haveto Senior Grandmaster Sell.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
He wasn't my personal instructor, he was in another
part of the country running theorganization, but he and his
wife they're both evangelistsand she was the highest ranking
woman black belt in the worldfrom Taekwondo.
They would travel into militarybases, into prison prisons and
(15:28):
they would do these dynamicmartial arts demonstrations and
then preach the gospel and leadprisoners and the military, the
service people, to the lord thisis what they were called the
cell team this was theirministry and their children and
(15:51):
their, his brother, master racel, who was my personal master.
He would train me and he was intown, but then the instructor
and under him was my personalinstructor, and later they both
came to Christ and wereevangelists.
I was just getting the wordcoming at me.
This is a big thing, see, forme, and like most people, I felt
(16:12):
the void inside of me.
There was a hole some call itthat God shaped hole that only
God can fill.
I was looking at that and partof the reason why it was so
powerful and strong for me, Ibelieve, was because of the
abuse and trauma that I enduredin childhood.
And so there was thisbrokenness that was there and
(16:38):
this wanting God.
From the time I was a littlechild, crying myself to sleep at
night, and I remember as a kidgoing to my mom on a few
occasions she'd be busy doingwhatever washing, dishes,
cooking and I say, mom, didJesus die on the cross for, you
know, for our sins?
And she would stop and she'dlook at me.
She'd always give me the sameanswer, the same deceived answer
(17:00):
, and it was no.
We, as Muslims, believe thatGod would not do that to one of
his own that he put Judas in hisplace, and I would get that
answer.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, and that's another interesting thing that I
learned from my Muslim friends.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Just, it never sat well with me because I kept
going back asking, but go ahead,no, that concept that Jesus
Christ.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
You know, I learned this from my Muslim friends that
they believe that Jesus Christwas what they told me.
Peter was dressed up to looklike Jesus, so people were
(17:49):
deceived and Peter was the oneactually crucified.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
That's interesting.
They say that I was taughtJudas, that it was Judas I got
with Judas.
Oh.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I'm sorry, yeah, judas.
I'm sorry, judas.
You're right, judas, not Peter.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Judas God made Judas to look like him.
And here's the thing, here'sthe devil, so that those that
are listening understand thathow the devil works and deceives
he's attacking the very pointof salvation.
Correct Most of the religionsof the world say earn your own
salvation.
Your good deeds will cancelyour bad deeds.
(18:26):
No, the Bible tells us, our ownrighteousness is a pile of
filthy rags to the Lord.
We can't save ourselves.
We can never be equal with God.
We can never do enough goodworks to take away our sin.
So anybody who's trying to betheir own Messiah, their own God
(18:48):
, that they actually thinkthey're going to be pleasing to
God, no, jesus, he was withoutsin, without blemish.
He was the only one qualified,the only one that could become
that sacrifice and take upon thesins of the world, to take away
our sin.
I remember being at a seminar.
(19:09):
Senior grandmaster Sel was intown, his wife, grandmaster
Brenda Sel.
They were doing a seminar at acampground.
My brother, who was a studentunder me, who was one of my guys
I was getting ready to promotehim within his black belt ranks
and he went to the seminar.
And so now we're going into somany years this is maybe 1984
(19:34):
now.
I think by then I had reachedsecond degree black belt.
And so at the seminar at theend, he was there for a couple,
a couple days.
My dad and I went to pick himup and so, with senior
grandmaster cell being theevangelist that he is, he's not
going to let these hundreds andhundreds of people leave, his
(19:54):
students leave, withoutpreaching the gospel.
So he has his blackwellstudents, his master students
under him, all of the, the guppranks they're under black ranks
all lined up for the awardsceremony, the presentations at
the end of the Gup ranks, theunder Black Belt ranks, all
lined up for the awards ceremony, the presentations at the end
of the seminar.
And he has this big, giantwooden cross.
He was very dramatic and he hadthe hammer and the nails and my
(20:16):
dad and I are off in the backon the side and I think we even
had the video camera that dayand listening and he's preaching
the gospel.
I think we even had the videocamera that day and listening
and he's preaching the gospel.
He's sharing testimonies fromhis life, how God did miracles
to help him and heal him ofdifferent things, and then he's
sharing what Jesus did and he'shammering and how Jesus died on
the cross, yeah, direction, andthat Jesus is the way and I'm
(20:40):
and you got to understand howwhat God did, because I
respected this man more thananybody on the planet, more than
any human being that was alive.
I respected senior grandmaster,so I had read his manual and
things, and so I was like, wow,I'm listening.
So God used him to get myattention and he had this big,
(21:00):
powerful, deep, booming voice,you know, which also was a way,
you know, got my attention gotyour attention yeah I'm taking
it listening.
But then at the so then he, hegave a salvation call to people
that wanted to receive jesus,and people were, and.
But then at the end, again, youknow, my religious upbringing
(21:21):
was powerful.
The devil had these strongbarriers up, and so I said to
myself well, that's what youbelieve, this is what I believe,
you know, and that's how thatended.
But God planted a huge seed thatday, because that really got me
seeking and wanting truth evenmore.
So, justin, I went through thisperiod of time.
(21:44):
I don't know how long it was,your I don't know, because I
know I had already been seekingand wanting truth.
But then I'm hearing himminister and preach.
But I had been praying god, I, Iwant the truth.
If it's through, if it'sthrough muhammad, if it's
through joseph smith, if it'sthrough harry krishna, if it's
through buddha, if it's throughJoseph Smith, if it's through
(22:05):
Hedy Krishna, if it's throughBuddha, if it's through Jesus,
whatever it is, god, show me theway.
And every time I said that nameJesus, something inside me went
off and it was like there was adraw there.
Then the Lord was using the 700Club and I would tune into that
Christian show and they wouldshare the gospel and pray for
(22:26):
people to receive Christ.
So these are some of the babysteps.
Now a big one was me acceptingJesus as the Son of God.
My personal instructor wouldquite often have on evangelistic
videos and tapes in the school.
So I was hearing the gospelthat way, through powerful
evangelists.
(22:47):
So I began to understand someof the terminology and things.
One day my instructor says to meout of the blue, I walk in, and
he says to me this is mypersonal instructor.
He says even the Quran saysthat Jesus was born of a virgin
and that right there God usedthat to give me the revelation
(23:10):
that if Jesus was born of avirgin, that would make him the
unique son of God in no otherway than any other human being
could be.
So I was then able to accepthim as son Now, son of God, son
of deity, son of the king.
Makes you a prince, makes youdeity, makes you a god.
(23:33):
But back then I didn't makethose connections so I didn't
realize by accepting him as sonthat I was also acknowledging
him, you know, as god.
I didn't know that then.
But in in my baby steps, Iaccepted him as son.
So so on the 700 Club when theywould pray Jesus, I believe
you're the son of God.
(23:53):
Jesus, come into my life andheart.
Guess what Now I could do that.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
At a certain point in your life, you came to the
realization that you were demonpossessed, right, Correct?
Can you explain to thelisteners how you became aware
that you were demon-possessed?
Because a lot of people, Ithink, in today's times are
demon-possessed and they don'tknow it.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
I think I knew even before I was a Christian.
We are a trinity.
God is a trinity.
He made us in his image.
We're a Trinity.
We are body, soul and spirit.
It's the spirit of the humanbeing.
When you become a born-againChristian, the devil can't touch
that, can't get inside that.
That is your true identity,where Christ dwells.
But if we think about what thesoul is, our mind, our intellect
(24:47):
, our imaginations, our emotions, oh boy, Tom of the devil can't
mess with that.
So it's too soon.
We got these different parts tous.
So that's what the devil messesand gets and gets in Correct.
So for me, I will start bysaying this I would, I could see
the demons rise up in people.
I would see it in theirinterest.
(25:08):
I could see it in their eyes,my own relatives.
Sometimes I would even run infear and hide because I saw the
demons rise up and I would runfor my life.
And so I would.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I would you know it's interesting because the you
know the eyes are the gateway tothe soul and you know, as
exorcists, that's the main thingwe focus on is the eyes.
Now, I don't being blind, butsighted exorcists focus on the
eyes because oftentimes you cansee demons manifest in people.
(25:47):
Their eyes completely dilateblack.
You know their whites arealmost completely gone, and so
what you're explaining is thatyou're seeing this in the eyes
of relatives, correct?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
And you're running yes, yes, yeah, within relatives
, family and depending on whatthat demon is.
That's a demon of anger, ofhate, of rage.
You know they have theirdifferent, distinct looks and I
remember as a kid seeing acouple of my relatives go at it
with each other, ready to killeach other and I would.
(26:21):
I saw the demons rise up withinthem of hate and rage and
murder, and rage and murder.
So anyways, for me, I know thatthrough my life there was the
torment, there was the suicide.
I wanted to die.
I made constant attempts on myown life the day I became
consciously aware of the world.
(26:41):
I know it's different forpeople at different ages, but
for me it was age four and itwas like somebody turned the
light on inside my soul and saidhey, kid, take a look around
and tell me what you see.
And what I saw wasn't pretty,wasn't good, and I wanted out.
It's like God, why am I here?
Get me out of here.
And I was actively but secretlysuicidal.
The devil had me in thisisolated bubble to where I the
(27:05):
thought never occurred to methat I could reach out to
somebody for help, that I couldgo to somebody and say I want to
die.
I don't want to.
You know, I never.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Well, I mean, it makes sense, because you're four
years old, you didn't have thatcapacity, you know, as a very
young child.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Even later in life, even as an adult.
It took me.
Oh, it was because the devilpurposely did that.
There were things that tookplace in my life that brought
spirits of isolation.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Okay, so what you're telling me, if I'm hearing you
correct, at a certain point inyour life as a Christian, you're
recognizing isolation andsuicide, suicidal thoughts as
something that wasn't really you.
It was something inside of youtriggering this.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
I didn't know that then, though that came later.
But if we go into my teen years, I think when I hit about age
12, all I changed.
My whole personality changed,justin.
I went from being the shy,bashful person to rageful, angry
(28:26):
.
That's when the demon startedto manifest.
Very angry, rageful.
So in those first few years ofmy teens, from age 12, I would
all of a sudden and some of thisI I didn't do when others were
around I would have fits of rageand violence, almost soup like
supernatural strength when thewhen my parents or people in my
family was out of the house andI would have one of these
(28:47):
attacks because all of the ragethat was piled up, built up in
me from abuse.
And so I would the entire livingroom set, I would flip it all,
the huge couches, everythingthat was there, just flip it all
over, just going through thesefits of rage.
And then, when I was done withmy fits of rage, I would put
(29:08):
them back in place and at times,in my bedroom, I'd go into
these again.
This rage of stuff would ragewas a big one that I carried,
and I would go into thesecoughing fits and blood.
I would be coughing up bloodand blood would be all over my
closet door and again, when Iwould finish going through these
demonic manifestations of rageand stuff, I would just clean it
(29:31):
all up and I never told anybody.
This is part of my testimonythat I haven't even really
shared much, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Well, what's interesting about this and thank
you so much for sharing thisbecause it is very personal,
thank you what's interestingabout this is that in our time,
today, you know, in today'stimes, you know, they would
observe this psychologically.
They would say that this childdoesn't have a demon of rage.
(30:03):
This child simply has angerbecause of the abuse she's went
through.
So they would rationalize ittotally, discard the
supernatural.
They would look and say, okay,this girl was coughing up blood
because maybe she bit the sideof her cheek or whatever.
So they're getting rid of anytype of supernatural phenomena.
I mean, you know, you're a 12year old child and you're
(30:25):
picking up, you know, couchesthat are three cushions long and
whipping it, throwing it overRight, this is supernatural
strength that you had 14 yearsold, through that time frame,
and yeah, yeah, so I just wantto point that out for listeners
that you know in today's timeyou know in today's times real
(30:47):
quick, though.
in today's times people want tonormalize demon possession as as
psychological Every bit of it'spsychological you know, and
it's not.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
That's what my parents thought.
Because I got to the pointwhere I was hurting people.
And then one time, let's seepeople.
And then one time let's see,yeah, because it was out of
getting out of control and I washurting people and I was
lashing out, I was throwingthings in and I didn't care, and
my mom would say, why are youdoing?
You could hurt somebody.
I go, yeah, I want to.
(31:20):
And so, because it was gettingout of control, they took me to
see my psychiatrist orpsychologist.
At that time I was 15.
Now yeah and so this time I'm 15and I did not want to be in the
psychologist or psychiatristoffice.
I did not want to be there.
But they said, no, you got togo, got to get this anger out
(31:42):
and under control.
You know, that's all they knewto do because it was.
It was pretty bad and they hadto be pretty bad for my parents
to take that route, and so I hada psychological reaction to
where the first time I my voice.
I had lost my voice.
I couldn't even speak.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
And do you believe that that was a demonic
manifestation?
Because that is quite common,where they can mute somebody.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, yeah, and I believe that because the enemy
didn't want me to get in helpand talking, you know, and so on
, but that was part of that aswell, and that's another thing.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Just and I apologize, I just want to throw this out
there that when demons areinside of a person and their
soul and their emotions, theirmind and so forth, they don't
want expelled.
So they're always trying toprevent a person from getting
help, even if that is apsychologist which, by the way,
(32:37):
we're not saying that psychologycounseling and therapy is wrong
.
If you listen to the firstepisode of my podcast, I get
into this a lot.
We're about the use ofpsychologists, therapists and
counselors.
We're about the use ofpsychologists, therapists and
counselors.
What we're trying to conveyhere is that you know, diane has
demon possession as a youngperson and they're trying to
solve a supernatural problemwith natural remedies and
(33:01):
oftentimes it doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Correct.
I had a draw to occultishthings too, but I am very
grateful the Lord kept me fromgetting too deep into that.
I wanted power, I wanted tocontrol.
Why?
Because I had a to to protect.
Yeah, and it wasn't.
And then I had this attractionlike the gore, the horror, I
(33:32):
like the violence, I like likethat stuff.
But when I turned 16 there wassuch a complete personality
change, tied to the opposite, towhere I couldn't stand that
stuff anymore the, the gore, thehorror.
Yeah, it's an interesting.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
it's another interesting concept you're
bringing up where, when demonsare inside you, you know they're
going to draw you to, at somepoint, occultism of some type.
Yeah, of some type, whetherit's psychics, whether it's
(34:07):
mediums, whether it'ssupernatural things in movies
that you can't get enough ofright.
So demons need to reinforcetheir possession, they need to
reinforce their existence insideof you and that, the way that
they reinforce that, is byhaving you participate in things
that reinforce their stay,their legal right to be within
(34:33):
you.
So for some that can be goinginto occultism.
For others it can be fullyinvesting in rage and murder and
things like this.
So it's a concept.
All of a sudden, at some pointin time, you realize I need an
(34:55):
exorcism, Correct?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yes, yes, I knew that .
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah, Okay so so in my case, I didn't know of any
exorcists.
So you know, and in my case,for 30 years I was tormented by
demons because I didn't know ofany exorcists.
And I came, you know, to BobLarson and he exorcised me and
I'm 100% free now, praise God.
(35:21):
But in your case, how did youfind an exorcist and who was it?
Speaker 2 (35:27):
if you don't mind me asking you find an exorcist, and
who was it, if you don't mindme asking?
Oh so this is going to beinteresting and this may go in a
direction that you didn'texpect or you know, but anyways,
I'm going to share, share alittle bit of my story, okay.
So, knowing from the stuff fromthe childhood, the teen years
(35:48):
and all that was going on, andthen when I became born again
and I'm serving jesus, and again, the audience needs to know
that someone can be on fire forgod, being used of god, and
still be demonized, still havedemons that possess parts of
their soul, as it was with meand as it is for, I'm going to
say, the majority of people,whether they know it or not.
(36:12):
Right, right, right, I mean, Ihave to dive into and let God do
that deliverance.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
So, anyways, god was using me in a huge way in
evangelism, discipleship, andthen, but I would like come home
after all of that.
And then, but I would like comehome after all of that, and the
switch would take over, thepersonality switch, the alter
identity, the dissociativeidentities, the demons, would
(36:38):
you know, would arise and Iwould literally walk in the door
from a joyous time of ministryfor God, saving people and doing
wonderful things.
Ministry for God, saving peopleand doing wonderful things, and
I would, my, I would justcollapse against the wall, just
my whole body would justcollapse, slide down the wall
onto the floor my head downbetween my knees.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I'm not laughing at you.
I'm envisioning this in mymind's eye.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Now, listen, this is what's crazy.
This is how it.
And listen, many people arelike this Diane.
They go to church, they loveJesus Christ, they're happy.
As soon as they get in the car,they fall into a depression,
and they don't understand why,because they got demons.
So I mean, here you are atchurch, fired up in ministry,
you come home and you're slumpedagainst a wall, falling down
(37:30):
and, I'm assuming, a completedepression.
Is that correct?
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I would grab my head.
It was depression, but morejust it was torment, utter
torment.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Oh God, I could feel it on my brain on my mind I
wanted to die.
People don't get this, thatdemons torment.
This is their number one thing.
They tormented me for 30 yearscoming into my room, choking me,
throwing me out of the bed andthe emotional swings that I'd
(38:05):
have, from complete happiness todepression and not
understanding why.
And this goes back to my pointand I'm sorry to interrupt you,
but, man, this goes back to.
Everybody wants to normalizedemon possession.
And it's not.
My swings, my anxiety,everything when I went through
an exorcism and I mean fullyexercised, gone, 100% gone.
(38:29):
Now no more anxiety, nodepression, no mood swings, none
of this stuff.
All my addictive behaviors gonebecause they were induced by
demons.
Now, that's not to say everyonewith anxiety and depression and
things like this have you knowthat it's induced by demons?
I mean there is, and thingslike this have are you know that
(38:52):
it's induced by demons?
I mean there is hands down, youknow people that have mental
illness and need help so you'repulling your hair out, sliding
down the wall and what other.
I mean this, this is torment.
That's the best way of puttingdemon possession it is.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
And when I say I wanted to die, I'm not saying
that as an expression, assomebody would.
I mean literally.
If I had a gun in my hand atthat moment, I would have used
it, and that's the reason why Inever owned a gun.
You know yourself thank god,yeah no.
So if someone that that thattakes the right coursing and
training and that that's, Ibelieve, a good thing, that
(39:28):
right to bear arms for defense,but I'd never you know, I can
know.
I'm just remembering now as akid in my, in my parents closet
there was a rifle and stuff andthere were times when I was at
home alone I'd go mess with thatyou know, but it was mostly.
It was locked, but it was arifle.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
It's kind of hard to use that on yourself so you're
tormented yeah, many suicideattempts on my life throughout,
but everything was doneprivately and quietly and again
this goes back to where peoplepsychologically say you know
it's your trauma and certainlysome of that is in play with it,
but the demons leverage trauma.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Yeah, the bible tells us that go ahead, no, go ahead.
That that jesus came to destroythe works of the devil.
And you were quoting the bible,verse john 10, 10, and the
remainder of it is first.
It tells us that that jesussays the devil has come to steal
, kill and destroy, but jesussays I have come that you might
have life, life the fullest.
(40:27):
Yes, and so it wasn't justbecause I gave my, my turn, my.
I accepted christ as my savior,my lord, my savior.
I'm serving him, I'm born again, I'm filled with the holy ghost
, I'm working for the lord, andall of that.
That didn't get rid of mydemons.
They were in the soul.
I needed to have trauma andthings healed to get to those
(40:48):
demons.
And another way that I knewthat they were there is I could
be in a conversation withsomebody and I could hear the
voices saying things about badthings, and I knew, I knew it
(41:10):
wasn't me, I knew it wasn't themoral voice you know.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
I'm laughing because everybody you know in episode
one I keep saying this and Iapologize, but everything you're
saying I said in episode onethat's why I keep bringing this
up is that I had all thesevoices and thought all this
chatter in my head, chatter,chatter, chatter, chatter,
chatter, all this noise, noise,constant noise.
(41:35):
And I'll never forget, afterbeing fully exercised, this
didn't happen, you know, rightin the beginning or halfway
through, no, no, no, at the veryend.
I'm sitting in my Lazy Boy andfor the first time ever, it
dawns on me that my mind isquiet, praise God.
And I was in such awe of this,diane, that's the only way I can
(41:57):
say it.
I was in such awe because I'dnever experienced it and I
thought, oh my gosh, all thechatter was gone.
And so often people think Imean this is another sign of
demonization is when you got allthese thoughts?
I've actually had people tellme hold on, justin, I'm going to
(42:20):
go smoke some marijuana to getthe voices to stop.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Yeah, I've actually had people tell me that.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
And they'll tell me I'm not they'll.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
They don't know what the voices are from.
These are functional peoplethat are college educated and
have careers and they'resuccessful in their careers and
but they don't.
They're not crazy.
And they say I know I'm notcrazy, but I have these voices
in my head and they won't shutup.
So I'm gonna go smoke some potand try to quiet them down.
And I've had other people tellme that the voices keep talking
(42:54):
at night and they can never goto sleep.
So they'll do a double shot ofsome type of liquor or they'll
chew up three and fourmelatonins to try to knock
themselves out, to get rid ofthe voices.
And this is what you're talkingabout.
You know, these voices aresaying all kinds of crazy things
about this person you'reinteracting with.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah, but sometimes now I knew when it was the demon
.
Sometimes in your case and thenin so many other people's cases
and in my case that's quiteoften there was a dissociation
as well.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
That's quite often there was a dissociation as well
, so there's a dissociativeidentities as well that were
stuck in trauma.
Yeah, that can get tricky there.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Yeah, yeah.
When a child has nowhere to run, if they can't physically get
away from abuse, where are theygoing to run inside their head?
Exactly if the brain, that mindhas that intellect and
creativity, it's going tocompartmentalize that abuse.
They're going to split off.
It's not happening to me, it'shappening to somebody else.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Right, it's survival.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
That allows them to continue to survive.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
So your demonization just is worsening at this point.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
It's starting to yeah surface.
It's starting to come up,because now I'm getting older,
I'm getting more mature, and sonow the dissociative identities
where they're holding all thisabuse, the memories, yeah, and
stuff within me and the demonsare behind that as well.
And so this was happening, andI do recall an incident where,
(44:31):
when I was in bed, they came,they deemed this, that they
there was four spirits.
One was a very large, kind oflike principality type, came at
the end of the bed and thenthere's three others like bats,
hovering on, so on my bedsagainst the wall.
So they were like trapped me inand I remember them like taking
(44:54):
their whatever you want to callthem, whatever their parts of
the body, waving them, and it'slike it locked me up, it
completely bound me to where Icould not move at all.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
So you had?
I again back to episode one.
You're saying the same thing.
You had demonic sleep paralysis.
This is not neurological sleepparalysis, this is demonic sleep
paralysis.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
Yeah, and I and I felt and I knew what they look
like, what I mean I could thebig, tall one, as tall as the
ceiling, kind of like a darthvader type dude yeah which
actually is based on demonprincipalities, that character
almost at the end of the bed.
And then there were these threesmaller ones on the side, kind
of like bats, and that paralyzedme and I couldn't move all as
(45:41):
I'm trying to say jesus and mylip, I couldn't say it those pun
punks.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
They're punks.
They shut your mouth so youcan't say it.
I experienced the same thing.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
I remember my mouth and tongue was all locked, but I
kept forcing it.
Jesus, the blood of Jesus.
I kept forcing it, and the moreI said it, the looser my lips
and my tongue got.
And eventually I began to saythe blood of Jesus Jesus, the
name of the blood of Jesus Jesus, and then the Jesus name, the
blood of Jesus, oh my gosh.
And then they, you know theywent, but I also you know, the
reason why they could come anddo that too was because I was
(46:17):
demonized from within.
Exactly this is what I.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
This is what I was telling someone the other day
and that you know, when you'reexperiencing things like this,
it's because you'redemon-possessed, demonized, and
when you're demon-possessed,demons come around you.
Yes, I mean, this is symptomsof being demon-possessed.
(46:41):
I had someone wake up and theylove coming at night.
I'll tell you that right now.
They love coming at night.
The devil and the demonscockroaches.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
They like the darkness, they love the darkness
.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
They're not going to fool with you much in the
daytime, but dark darknessbecause I'm the spirit.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
I've had some clients testify.
When they have incubus spirits,they don't leave them alone.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
They won't leave them alone.
Yeah, so you know, the samething happened, but I I was
telling someone.
You know, that's the deal whenyou see a glass move across the
counter without it moving, oryou wake up with bite and
scratch marks and things likethis, it's because you're demon
possessed and you don't know it.
Let's get back to you andexorcism.
Who did you contact?
(47:24):
How did you have your firstexorcism session?
Let's focus on your firstexorcism session.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Okay, I'll share my failed exorcism sessions.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
You had a bunch of failed ones.
Huh A bunch.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
Okay.
So because of the depression,the suicide, the torment,
because it was so powerful,overwhelming, and I just didn't,
I was getting to the pointwhere I wasn't functioning.
Good Memories started to emergein me because I started to get
a little older, I was gettinginto my late twenties and so on,
(47:59):
and so things were surfacingwithin me.
I had a wonderful pastor at thetime who understood just
associative identity.
He doesn't believe, though,that Christians can have demons.
He would teach against that.
But yet I knew differently,because I knew what was going on
inside me.
I would, since, you know whenhe would say that to the
(48:20):
congregation, I'd be sittingthere going.
Oh, you know I go.
No, yes, I can, you know,because I knew.
I knew I was demonized and Iknew I knew the Lord.
I knew I was saved, I was bornagain.
They weren't in my spirit, theywere in my soul, right, two
different things that peoplereally got to understand, and
the Bible does distinguishbetween them.
And my gosh, if we wanted, wecould list off the different
(48:44):
people in the Bible that knewthe Lord, that had demons,
people in the Bible that knewthe Lord, that had demons, but
anyway.
So I began to see a Christiancounselor.
She knew pretty quick that Iwas demonized, but she herself
wasn't an exorcist.
She was able to lead me throughrenunciations, things I never
did in my life, oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
That's a good start.
Ever did in my life, oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
That's a good start.
Yes, so renunciations of Islamand the different teachings and
different occultist things,whatever you know, we started to
go through that and innerhealing, working with
associative identity, so beginto work through that.
But she knew the demons are inthe way, especially the ones of
isolation that would prevent mefrom really being able to open
(49:30):
up and talk.
She'd have to, like, just prythings out of me.
I was just so lost in thisisolation, and so she made an
appointment for me to see a man,a minister, who did exorcisms,
and so we set this up one day tomeet at a church.
But yet I was so still locked up, my dissociative fortress was
(49:53):
so strong and I was sodistrusting of people.
I didn't know him, you know, Ididn't know him.
Try, you know, to ask me thingsand do things, and I just
couldn't be open with them.
I just wasn't able, I was notable to tell him what was going
(50:13):
on inside in my mind, what I wasseeing and all that, and so we
didn't get anywhere with that.
So that was a failed attempt.
But because I was so locked upwithin myself, continue to, you
know, work on with her thethings that we could do in the
way of the soul healing and thenI had a friend, a really good
(50:35):
friend of mine he was.
He was my, my taekwondo and hopketo instructor.
So I had my regular personalinstructor with a master over
him, then the grandmaster overhim, and then this other man who
frequented our school regularly.
He was a missionary, and amissionary overseas, so he knew
Christians could have demons.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
And so he him I trusted because I knew him since
I was a teen started theTaekwondo and we'd have
wonderful long conversationsabout Christ all the time.
And so they were doing caremeetings at his home as part of
the church ministry the littlehome care group, cell groups as
some call them him and his awonderful wife, and so I could
(51:16):
open up a little bit more withhim and talk, and so one day
after the meeting we sattogether to do with, you know,
with his wife, to try to getdeal with these demons.
You know, yeah to deal withthese demons.
You know, yeah, he's trying togo after them and everything.
And I think I told I think Iwas hearing Legion at the time
and there was definitely Legionwithin me and he was trying, but
(51:41):
I was still too reserved, toomuch of a.
You know, people's personalityreally plays into this a lot,
especially when the devil hassomebody really bound up, and I
was so bound up from the thingsthat I had suffered and endured
(52:06):
it was a purposeful isolatedbubble where things of
abandonment were suffered, thatthe ability, not just the
ability, but the inclination,the thought that I could reach
out for help, call out for help,because those cries were
(52:28):
completely unheard, unanswered.
So therefore, I didn't have thatwithin me, you know.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:37):
That makes sense, yeah, and so, anyway.
So I couldn't.
I wasn't to the point to wherethe dissociative barriers are
too still strong, literally afortress, which is a whole
nother story.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
So was he able?
Was he able to spell any?
Speaker 2 (52:56):
He couldn't get in the manifest, couldn't?
I wasn't, I couldn't do it.
Couldn't let him out, Got it,Couldn't let him Got it.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
So who was the?
Who was the?
Speaker 2 (53:06):
it was self deliverance, with me and the
Holy ghost.
Speaker 1 (53:09):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (53:10):
That's why I said this was going to take an
unexpected turn for you becauseof, again, my personality makeup
plus the things that the Lordwanted to teach me and show me,
and I learned so much from drbob larson I and I, in term of
endearment I still call himpastor bob, going back all those
(53:31):
decades from his radio showtalk back and so you had some of
his books I'm assuming on likethe curse I learned a lot from
him on things to do and I gothis tapes back, then the VHS
tapes that you have to get tothe point of the pain to get to
the demons.
(53:51):
I learned about the strongholdsof the demons and legal rights,
and so I had this info, thisteaching, and so, together with
the Holy Ghost, you know we weregoing to go to work, but I
think the first real onehappened.
It wasn't deliberate, it wasdeliberate with God, but I will.
But for me it was likespontaneous.
The Lord had.
(54:12):
I wish I could remember I had.
I thought I would have tried tolook at one of my journals, but
there's so many to try to findthe date and how old I was I
don't really remember.
But the first time the Lord, itwas a spirit of rejection.
The Lord had brought healingregarding horrible abuse from
(54:35):
childhood.
There was many, but this was onein particular.
That was a real defining momentwithin my life, and a real
defining moment in a negativeway, which completely stole my
identity and crushed my will, mydesire to live, and destroyed
one of my most importantrelationships that a child can
(54:58):
have.
And when the Lord brought thehealing to that and he rescued
me from that situation throughthe inner healing, and then I
was able to, for the first timein my life even though I was a
Christian for many, many, many,many years to that point, I was,
for the first time ever, ableto accept Jesus as a God, as my
(55:19):
father, as my heavenly father,and he just wrapped me like I
crawled into his lap and his bigfeathered arm wings just
wrapped, wrapped over me, andit's like I lived there ever
since.
So, right after that, rightafter I received that, the
healing of the trauma that tookaway, now that legal right of
(55:40):
that particular demon, thatdemon of rejection that came in
as a result, and that demon hadbeen with me since that time and
and that thing rose up, I couldfeel it, feel it rising up in
me, coming up and yeah and thenyou know and manifested, and I
can't remember if I went throughnaming it, like I said, had I
(56:05):
thought to try to search in myjournals.
but even if I would have lookedthrough my journals, there's so
many journals in the try to findthis, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:16):
So that's great.
That's great, though.
You brought up a good pointthat the healing, yes, remove
the legal right of this spiritof rejection, this demon of
rejection, and because its righthad been removed, now it's
being forced to leave.
And I just want to point outand this is no bash on what you
(56:39):
went through, because it's legit, it worked.
But for many people it requiresan exorcist to work with them
to cast out the demons.
Speaker 2 (56:49):
You know because.
Speaker 1 (56:51):
I've worked with people, and even myself included
, where we've renounced things.
I renounced this, I renouncedthat but the demons are never
kicked out, so they're stillthere.
They don't have a legal right,but they're still there within
the person's mind until they'reforced to get out.
And so there are times whereself-deliverance can work.
I myself, personally, have hadminimal luck doing that myself.
(57:18):
Personally, praise God thatthat worked for you, and I know
that it does work for people,but for me, man, it just, it
just didn't work.
Speaker 2 (57:26):
I mean maybe for smaller things, you know what I
mean but oh my gosh, man, yeahhaving the access to someone
trained there, you know, isbetter, because especially when
there's generational stuff andyou got to break curses going
back, you got to reallyinterrogate the demon, find
stuff out.
Sometimes there's soultransference, so that's where
you need a trained individual.
But after that experience,right when that thing left, oh
(57:52):
my gosh, the way I felt thepeace of God, just in God's love
.
Speaker 1 (57:57):
I mean, it was like, oh, my gosh, that had to be
wonderful.
Speaker 2 (58:01):
Just amazing.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
Wonderful to fill that type.
And what other benefits did younotice?
I mean, that was just one demonthat you were, you know,
expelled and got rid of.
I'm sure there were a lot more,but just from the rejection
alone, the rejection alone,that's a very powerful spirit
that many people have and itreally does go back to childhood
(58:23):
for many people, the rejection.
But what other emotionalbenefits did you recognize?
Obviously, the feeling of love,but were there any other
emotional benefits that youfound just by that one spirit
being removed?
Speaker 2 (58:47):
removed some of the, the, even the like the self hate
and stuff like that unworthyyou know that some of that went
with that praise god because butbecause things were so heavy
and involved with me and so muchassociation, a lot of things I
had to get work through.
There were many different layersand levels that I had to get
through with the unworthiness,that spirit, the hate, the
self-rejection and all thesuicide.
(59:09):
The suicide was the toughestfor me to overcome.
The next for me big spirit thatwas dealt with was Baal.
I know so many pronounce it,baal.
Exorcists have found, dr BobLarson has found and there are
books on this that have found,through doing deliverance and
healing, that people that havecome through sexual abuse, that
(59:33):
spirit of Baal and Jezebel haveto be renounced.
That's their kingdom, that'stheir domain.
Yes, they operate on otherstuff too, but that is a big one
.
I would go back and forthsometimes in dealing with my
healing and sometimes I would gothis is just too much and I'd
take a break.
And one day I remember I forgetexactly what year it was, but I
(59:53):
came in the face to face, Icame in the face off with God
and he actually said you know,let me know very clearly that if
I'm going to go any furtherthan him, if I'm going to go any
further than him, if I'm goingto get any closer to him, I'm
going to have to deal with mypast, I'm going to have to let
him heal me, the dissociation.
And so I had to make a choiceand it was like OK, how much do
(01:00:14):
I love God, you know?
Do I want to go further?
And the answer was absolutely,because I couldn't live without
him.
I remember one of the journalentries starts very clearly One
of the first times when I beganto, the dissociative barriers
began to fall and my journalentry starts off I met Mr
Protector today.
He was in the room with theother children.
(01:00:35):
He was there protecting and wecouldn't get to the ones that
experienced the abuse, thetrauma, until we dealt with this
big, massive individual thatlooked like he carried the
weight of the world on hisshoulder.
It was trying to protect, youknow, and so he had to surrender
the Christ, get a new role, geta new assignment in God.
(01:00:57):
You know, that was a big, thatwas like a major, major thing.
Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
God showed me one day my dissociative, the structure,
as like a castle, a fortress,because that's what they are,
it's built to protect and it'slike the bricks of that castle,
that fortress are theseassociative identities?
and one day it's like he showedme my, like a soul, but my, my
core identity, the part ofmyself, just like chained on the
(01:01:25):
on that wall yeah just, youknow, chained in there and you
know we had to take work withthe dissociative parts, be
healing, let jesus rescue andthen deal with the demons in
order to save.
You know that part of me sowe're getting a lot here.
Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
That's deep that's okay, yeah, but so how long did
it take before you were willingto give up all the disassociated
parts, get the demons removedattached to them and get to a
freed state?
Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
another way of putting that is how long did
that process take?
Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
A year, two years, five years, 10 years?
Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
I don't know the number many years, and my
journals could help me to findwhat many years.
Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Okay, so more than five years, oh gosh, yes, okay,
I'm just trying to give thelisteners an expectation that if
they're disassociated andthey're recognizing this and
that there could be demons, youknow, attached.
Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
Everybody's different .
You know, if someone's justdealing with a couple, that's
different.
But if somebody sufferedextreme trauma, especially in
their formative years ofdevelopment, you know, then
that's my gosh, you know dependson what type of abuse and how
often, and you know how that's agood point yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
You know, and this is you know, this is a very
advanced topic of exorcism,which is disassociated identity
disorder.
So this is something that'sreally deep in advance, but it
is a reality for many people.
They disassociate, goingthrough trauma as a very young
child to protect themselves,otherwise they would crack
(01:03:14):
mentally and this is a way thatthe mind protects itself so that
you know it doesn't crack, soit's a survival technique.
Doesn't crack, so it's asurvival technique.
And you know this isunfortunately what Diane went
through as a young child andshe's explaining here that she
worked through that and as shewas able to allow these
(01:03:34):
disassociated identities to, youknow, be let go as a protection
, then those memories come backinto the core of her personality
and she remembers and has towork through at that point.
Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Like.
For me it got to the point towhere I was in a standstill with
God.
It was like, okay, is he reallymy God?
How much do I love him?
Do I want to endure?
Do this is part of my taking upmy cross and dying to myself?
It is for anybody.
When you begin to allow theHoly Ghost to show you what's
inside you and to put that onthe cross, man, you're dying to
(01:04:10):
yourself.
Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
when you start to do that soul healing and get rid of
the demons, and you know, a lotof times people want you to do
the work as an exorcist for themand it doesn't work that way,
and it's.
You have to roll up yoursleeves and you're just as much
part of the process as theactual exorcist.
The exorcist is like a coachyes, you know, coaching you
(01:04:35):
through it, but ultimately it'syour will that's going to get
you free.
That's really what it boilsdown to.
And you know, I've worked withpeople where, oh yes, I want to
do this, oh my God, I got to getrid of this.
And then, you know, they showup one or two times and that's
it.
They drop off because theyrealize, hey, wait a minute, I
got to do work here.
Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
It has to do with that finished work of Christ.
Do we want it applied to ourlives?
Do we want any of it to be invain?
And that was one of my prayersand this is something I try to
get across to people and myclients.
Yes, some people just begin toseek this type of freedom and
healing and deliverance andexorcism because they want to be
free, they want to live abetter life, they're in torment,
(01:05:18):
and so that's a lot of timeswhat initiates it and that's
normal.
But we got to also realize thatthis isn't just about us.
This is about God.
This is about his work, hiskingdom, his finished work.
On that cross, jesus sufferedimmensely.
He was beaten beyondrecognition of a human being.
(01:05:40):
You know why do we want anydrop of his blood to be wasted?
I want everything that he doneto be applied to my life.
God, whatever you got to do,you know, do that in me.
Don't let nothing be wasted.
You know, give us this day ourdaily bread.
I mean, that's a part of thatright there.
(01:06:14):
Yes, absolutely.
So that's, that is so.
And also, then, what does thatallow that allows him to take
yes, absolutely healing the badthoughts and feel all that goes
the more of Jesus we have, themore we'll be coming formed into
his likeness, that bridewithout spot and wrinkle, that
Christ is coming back for Right.
But the more we allow him to dothat now we can be used more of
(01:06:35):
him.
The more territory we allow himto take in us, the more he can
use us to take territory for hiskingdom.
Speaker 1 (01:06:44):
Well, diana, us, the more he can use us to take
territory for his kingdom.
Well, Diane, I would like tothank you so much for coming on
to the podcast here.
I am definitely sure many, manypeople have been challenged by
what you've shared, encouraged,inspired, and that's a good
thing.
Do you want to, you know, sharea few closing thoughts to
(01:07:06):
encourage people that you knowmaybe they're torn, like I don't
know about whether I'm demonpossessed, and you know they're
on the fence.
Maybe they are swaying a little, maybe they're not.
What words of encouragement canyou give to somebody that might
be you know, like I said, onthe fence, about whether they
should go get help or just leaveit alone?
Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
You know I want to say to people don't let the
terminology and wording scareyou, don't get caught up in that
.
I've seen the enemy continueconstantly.
Use that to keep people fromlearning or getting help.
If there's demons inside you,you got to get rid of them.
(01:07:53):
So when we come to Christ andwe get born again, number one,
you got to start there.
If you don't know Jesus, yougot to say Jesus, thank you for
dying on the cause for my sin.
I believe you arose from thedead on the third day.
Live your life for me, ask Godto forgive you, to make you part
of his family, so thatspiritual birth brings your
spirit to life.
(01:08:14):
You're now born again, but youstill have your flesh, the soul,
your emotions, your intellect,your imag, your imaginations,
your feelings all of that.
The devil can live there andmess with that.
Logically, you're going torealize that somebody within
your bloodline probably morethan one person, and many have
committed something, some actthat had the enemy gave the
(01:08:39):
legal right to the devil toenter your bloodline.
So deliverance is always it's.
It's something that should bedone as soon as someone comes to
Christ.
It's the.
This country and part of theWestern world is just messed up
in, whatever reasons.
Rather it's pride.
Whatever they're messed upregarding that, but other parts
of the world, it's just common,so go for it.
(01:09:02):
You said it at the beginning ofthe show, but I'm also a
Christian counselor, so, besideshaving the training in direct
deliverance and exorcism, Idon't want people to be psyched
out or fearful of this term.
Exorcism is just to cast out.
That's who Jesus was.
Don't let Hollywood, don'tallow the devil to use Hollywood
to mess up your thinking,listeners, regarding that.
(01:09:25):
Please, again, don't get caughtup on terms.
I have to stress that becausetoo many people do and it keeps
them bound.
Speaker 1 (01:09:32):
If you'd like to contact Diane, you can reach her
by email at soldierofhope85 atgmailcom.
Soldierofhope85 at gmailcom.
(01:09:54):
That's soldierofhope85 atgmailcom.
I'll also be putting a link toher Full Force Ministries
webpage on the blog post forthis podcast.
So visit my website, justindcom, and find this blog post for
this episode, and you will findthe link to her Full Force
Ministries webpage.
Welcome to Episode 2 of the Blind Exorcist Podcast.
I'm Justin D, your host.
Thank you for listening.
Don't forget to join orsubscribe to the podcast and
share it out to your family,friends and on social media.
I have with us a taekwondoinstructor, diane Berry.
(00:25):
She's a taekwondo self-defenseinstructor with more than 40
years experience.
She's the GrandmasterInstructor of the Full Force
Ministries Champion Martial ArtsAssociation.
Woo, that's a mouthful.
Woo, that's a mouthful.
(00:51):
She's the 2012 inductee of theMidwest Women's Martial Arts
Hall of Fame of Excellence.
She's also a Christiancounselor and an exorcist.
Yeah, baby, very cool.
She's an ordained minister withSpiritual Freedom Church
International.
If you don't know what that is,this is the exorcism center for
(01:11):
Dr Bob Larson.
People worldwide come here toSpiritual Freedom Church
International.
It's in Scottsdale, arizona,and this is where Dr Bob Larson
performs many of his exorcismsin person.
Diane, thank you so much forcoming on the podcast and
hanging out with us.
(01:32):
Welcome to the Blind Exorcist.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
So happy to be here with you, Justin.
Thank you for having me on yes.
Looking forward, excited,excited to do this.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yeah, we've been trying to connect for a couple
weeks and finally we're here.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Right yeah, getting those schedules to meet.
But praise God, we're doing it.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
That's right.
So Taekwondo Now correct me ifI'm wrong.
Isn't that from?
Is that a South Korean style ofmartial arts, or isn't that
demonic?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Well, some of it definitely can be, but that all
depends on the instructor andthe type, and so it basically
means you can take each word andtranslate it as foot, hand or
mind, or the way of the hand andfoot, meaning how to defend
yourself with your hands andfeet.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
That's awesome.
So this is primarily a is it adefensive or offensive style of
martial arts.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Martial arts was originally created for defense,
so it was created for defense,primarily within the militaries
of countries for defense.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, yeah, so you're going to come in pretty quickly
and get down to business, rightand again, it depends on you
know, the practitioner.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Now, if there's a good instructor, a good teacher,
they're going to be teachingtheir students, like I've always
made all my new beginnerspromise that they're going to.
They make a promise thatthey're going to use it properly
, that it's not to use to be abully, right.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
To be honorable with it To show off.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, it's for self-defense, and I've given
examples of what that is, whatthat means.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Absolutely so.
You've done this for 40 years.
Yes, so you had to start this.
What late teens, early 20s.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah, mid-teens.
So I know that you and theaudience would be interested to
know my beginnings, yes, and myvery, very beginnings.
A lot of times when I share, itusually starts when I started
my formal training, 16, almostjust a few months before my 17th
(04:06):
birthday.
But going back way, way beforethat, to a toddler, yes, a
toddler.
I saw Bruce Lee as Kato on thetelevision show the pink panther
(04:29):
the green, no, the green, thegreen hornet oh, the green
hornet.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Well, I seen kato and the pink panther okay, so if
just to interject here.
If um people are listening tothis and you're like, what's the
pink panther?
They were, uh comedy moviesthat came out in kato.
Kato was a japanese martialartist that used to beat the
(04:58):
crap out of the um detective, soyou'll have to find it.
It's out there.
It's probably late seventies, Ithink, that came out.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
So more of the later generations are familiar with
Jet Li, and I just lost my mytrain of thought.
Jackie Chan, of course, jackieChan, jet Li, but you go back to
the 60s and 70s.
Bruce Lee was the man, he wasthe one who made martial arts
(05:34):
popular, not just in the Statesbut, I believe, around the world
.
He drew from the differentmartial arts and put them
together to create jikundo.
That's all man, my teaching andthat my instructor believe in
that.
You know, we got to be able todefend on your feet, with hands
only, with feet only on theground, if necessary with weapon
(05:56):
.
Without weapon you can't, youknow, you can't just be limited
well, that's when we get intothe whole mma.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
you know the amount of training that these guys do
in today's times, the amount ofdifferent types of martial arts,
from Brazilian jiu-jitsu totaekwondo, to whatever I mean,
it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So let's swing back to your early teens.
You're 17.
Yeah, and you sign up for what?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Well, first I got to share my beginnings, because
it's really interesting.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Keep going Sorry.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
It's fun, so anyway.
So, like I said, bruce Lee, hewas the man.
Then, of course, chuck Norriscame along, but before then
there was an in-between.
But, going back as a toddler,that show came out and aired in
1966 to 1967.
I was only a toddler.
That show came out and it airedin 1966 to 1967.
I was only a toddler, but yet Ihave these memories of watching
(06:53):
this incredible guy do theseincredible feats of self-defense
and the moves he was doing, the, the kicking and jumping, and I
was like, mouth open, jawdropped, as a, you know, two and
a half year old yeah,absolutely yeah and so then I
had that interest.
So it was, I believe, aGod-given love within me for the
(07:17):
martial arts, because God knewone day he was going to use that
to draw me to him, because myinstructors helped to lead me to
Christ.
There was also a like, asubconscious need for for defend
, to defend myself because oftrauma and things I suffered as
a as my formative developingyears.
(07:37):
So that created in me asubconscious need to defend
myself and that's what I saw inBruce Lee.
As a child, my uncle andcousins were training both
taekwondo and judo.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Oh, judo is really cool.
Yes, I always A lot of blindpeople are into judo because it
deals a lot with your hands andgrappling and blind people are
all about that.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, that's a good point.
The feel of the body?
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Now, just as an aside I mentioned this to you one
time, but I took one year of aJapanese style called Goshin
Jitsu.
Okay, and this was an offensiveand defensive martial arts
style and I loved it.
I went through my divorce so Ihad to stop.
I lost transportation, but Imean there was a lot of weapon
(08:29):
training in that.
You know which was, I don'tknow.
I loved it, it was cool.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
How old were you when you did that?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
I'm going to say I was 40 years old, 39, 39 years
old, and I went down to the dojo, I talked to the sensei and I
think they get up into like a10th degree black belt under
this style of stuff.
But I mean it's brutal man.
I mean we're talking knives,bows, staves, all that stuff,
(09:00):
right.
But, and like you're saying, hewould bring in a guy that was
trained in a style of Kung Fubut it was grappling like like
almost like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu,but it was Kung Fu, I don't
remember the style.
So he would integrate, you know, floor time.
Because you can't just, likeyou're saying, you just can't
(09:22):
learn one martial art.
You know this, this Japanesestyle Goshin Jitsu is all about
it's karate, right?
So I mean it's all about handand foot and you know all that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
So I enjoyed it without sight.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
You were able to do that, yeah, without eyesight,
yeah, and the the instructorswere really good.
You know we would.
You know I didn't get farenough to spar because you have
to get your white belt, the nextbelt up.
You start sparring where youput the headgear on and things
like that.
So I didn't get that far.
It was more hands on hands withwith the instructors.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
You know, initially I don't know how much you want me
to get into like a little bitof my testimony of coming to
Christ.
Do you want me to share alittle bit about that and how
that relates to my martial artstraining?
Sure, so, grandmaster, seniorGrandmaster, I would be.
So he is a military man, airForce man.
(10:17):
He was the highest rankingnon-Oriental or non-Asian black
belt in the world at that timeand he maintained that.
That the uh, the genuine,authentic rank title of that
until he.
He passed a few years back.
So he was the seniorgrandmaster of the organization
(10:41):
and his wife now she's'sGrandmaster, brenda J Sell, and
she runs the organization now.
They were both born-againChristians and just booming,
powerful evangelists.
They preached the word withpower and authority.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
So, wait, wait, this is interesting.
I got to interrupt you for justa minute, so you got a lot
going on here.
Girl, okay, here's what I'mlooking at from the outside.
Looking in, you're into Asianarts, you're raised Muslim Right
and your instructors areChristian.
(11:22):
Yes, so, there's a lot going onhere.
How old are you right now?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
16 at that time, Okay so 16 years old.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
What is your ethnicity?
Lebanese, lebanese.
Okay well, my best friendgrowing up was Lebanese.
Had all kinds of awesomeLebanese food, all kinds.
They introduced me to stuffedgrape leaves with lamb meat.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yep, yep Loved it.
My mom made them regularly.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
And the other thing they were real big on.
I don't know if this issomething that they came up with
or if this is an actualLebanese dish, but they called
it Lebanese salad.
But they called it Lebanesesalad and it had tomatoes, red
onion, cucumber and these wholeheads of wheat like the wheat in
(12:12):
the field.
You know they would have thiswheat inside of this thing, so I
don't know if that's.
Have you ever heard of anythinglike that?
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yes, I have.
And there's also the Fatoosh,which is I don't know if you
ever had that, but I love I have.
And there's also the fatoush,which is I don't know if you
ever had that, but I love, Ilove that.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
So, yeah, they introduced me to Mediterranean
house.
Father was Lebanese and hismother was Italian, so I was
eating good man.
So your parents both Lebanese.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Okay, were they from Lebanon or were they born here?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Okay.
Were they from Lebanon or werethey born here?
They're both 100% Lebanese inheredity and ethnicity.
My dad was born in Lebanon.
My mom was born here.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Wow, Fascinating.
So I mean, this is a strictMuslim family.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Growing up, I mean, we went to the mosque regularly.
You know we went to the mosqueon Sundays as I was growing up
and you know we abided by, youknow, not having the pork, and
back then the city that I livedin wasn't highly, highly Muslim
populated.
Today it's one of the most, orthe most populated you know in
(13:25):
the country.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
And where is that located?
If you don't mind me asking.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
The Detroit area.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Oh, in Detroit Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Dearborn, Michigan.
Dearborn, which is a neighborof Detroit.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Some people.
They just sadly that deceptionis I'm born.
I was born this way.
They think that that was God'splan, not realizing, no, that
there's a devil, a real devil, areal Satan that has come to
steal, kill and destroy.
He is a deceiver, and whatbetter way to deceive the masses
away from God is to createfalse religions.
(14:02):
And that's where the Quran andthese false religions and
stuff's, where the you know thequran and these false religions
and stuff came from yeah, youknow I wore the little golden
quran around my neck since thetime I was born and my mother
pin that on us, me and mysiblings the little islamic
symbols and stuff right and forme.
It was like my, almost like aprotection.
(14:23):
It helped me to feel close toGod, but not realizing that this
isn't of God, and I wantedtruth.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
You were a truth seeker.
I mean, you're raised in aMuslim family, but you're
seeking truth.
And then you got this Christian.
You know, instructor teachingyou martial arts.
You know, instructor teachingyou martial arts.
When did you first getintroduced to the concept that
Jesus Christ was God and not aprophet?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Now, that was an incredibly difficult process and
took a whole lot of baby steps.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
It would have to.
It would have to a whole lot ofbaby steps.
It would have to, it would haveto Senior Grandmaster Sell.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
He wasn't my personal instructor, he was in another
part of the country running theorganization, but he and his
wife they're both evangelistsand she was the highest ranking
woman black belt in the worldfrom Taekwondo.
They would travel into militarybases, into prison prisons and
(15:28):
they would do these dynamicmartial arts demonstrations and
then preach the gospel and leadprisoners and the military, the
service people, to the lord thisis what they were called the
cell team this was theirministry and their children and
(15:51):
their, his brother, master racel, who was my personal master.
He would train me and he was intown, but then the instructor
and under him was my personalinstructor, and later they both
came to Christ and wereevangelists.
I was just getting the wordcoming at me.
This is a big thing, see, forme, and like most people, I felt
(16:12):
the void inside of me.
There was a hole some call itthat God shaped hole that only
God can fill.
I was looking at that and partof the reason why it was so
powerful and strong for me, Ibelieve, was because of the
abuse and trauma that I enduredin childhood.
And so there was thisbrokenness that was there and
(16:38):
this wanting God.
From the time I was a littlechild, crying myself to sleep at
night, and I remember as a kidgoing to my mom on a few
occasions she'd be busy doingwhatever washing, dishes,
cooking and I say, mom, didJesus die on the cross for, you
know, for our sins?
And she would stop and she'dlook at me.
She'd always give me the sameanswer, the same deceived answer
(17:00):
, and it was no.
We, as Muslims, believe thatGod would not do that to one of
his own that he put Judas in hisplace, and I would get that
answer.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, and that's another interesting thing that I
learned from my Muslim friends.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Just, it never sat well with me because I kept
going back asking, but go ahead,no, that concept that Jesus
Christ.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
You know, I learned this from my Muslim friends that
they believe that Jesus Christwas what they told me.
Peter was dressed up to looklike Jesus, so people were
(17:49):
deceived and Peter was the oneactually crucified.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
That's interesting.
They say that I was taughtJudas, that it was Judas I got
with Judas.
Oh.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I'm sorry, yeah, judas.
I'm sorry, judas.
You're right, judas, not Peter.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Judas God made Judas to look like him.
And here's the thing, here'sthe devil, so that those that
are listening understand thathow the devil works and deceives
he's attacking the very pointof salvation.
Correct Most of the religionsof the world say earn your own
salvation.
Your good deeds will cancelyour bad deeds.
(18:26):
No, the Bible tells us, our ownrighteousness is a pile of
filthy rags to the Lord.
We can't save ourselves.
We can never be equal with God.
We can never do enough goodworks to take away our sin.
So anybody who's trying to betheir own Messiah, their own God
(18:48):
, that they actually thinkthey're going to be pleasing to
God, no, jesus, he was withoutsin, without blemish.
He was the only one qualified,the only one that could become
that sacrifice and take upon thesins of the world, to take away
our sin.
I remember being at a seminar.
(19:09):
Senior grandmaster Sel was intown, his wife, grandmaster
Brenda Sel.
They were doing a seminar at acampground.
My brother, who was a studentunder me, who was one of my guys
I was getting ready to promotehim within his black belt ranks
and he went to the seminar.
And so now we're going into somany years this is maybe 1984
(19:34):
now.
I think by then I had reachedsecond degree black belt.
And so at the seminar at theend, he was there for a couple,
a couple days.
My dad and I went to pick himup and so, with senior
grandmaster cell being theevangelist that he is, he's not
going to let these hundreds andhundreds of people leave, his
(19:54):
students leave, withoutpreaching the gospel.
So he has his blackwellstudents, his master students
under him, all of the, the guppranks they're under black ranks
all lined up for the awardsceremony, the presentations at
the end of the Gup ranks, theunder Black Belt ranks, all
lined up for the awards ceremony, the presentations at the end
of the seminar.
And he has this big, giantwooden cross.
He was very dramatic and he hadthe hammer and the nails and my
(20:16):
dad and I are off in the backon the side and I think we even
had the video camera that dayand listening and he's preaching
the gospel.
I think we even had the videocamera that day and listening
and he's preaching the gospel.
He's sharing testimonies fromhis life, how God did miracles
to help him and heal him ofdifferent things, and then he's
sharing what Jesus did and he'shammering and how Jesus died on
the cross, yeah, direction, andthat Jesus is the way and I'm
(20:40):
and you got to understand howwhat God did, because I
respected this man more thananybody on the planet, more than
any human being that was alive.
I respected senior grandmaster,so I had read his manual and
things, and so I was like, wow,I'm listening.
So God used him to get myattention and he had this big,
(21:00):
powerful, deep, booming voice,you know, which also was a way,
you know, got my attention gotyour attention yeah I'm taking
it listening.
But then at the so then he, hegave a salvation call to people
that wanted to receive jesus,and people were, and.
But then at the end, again, youknow, my religious upbringing
(21:21):
was powerful.
The devil had these strongbarriers up, and so I said to
myself well, that's what youbelieve, this is what I believe,
you know, and that's how thatended.
But God planted a huge seed thatday, because that really got me
seeking and wanting truth evenmore.
So, justin, I went through thisperiod of time.
(21:44):
I don't know how long it was,your I don't know, because I
know I had already been seekingand wanting truth.
But then I'm hearing himminister and preach.
But I had been praying god, I, Iwant the truth.
If it's through, if it'sthrough muhammad, if it's
through joseph smith, if it'sthrough harry krishna, if it's
through buddha, if it's throughJoseph Smith, if it's through
(22:05):
Hedy Krishna, if it's throughBuddha, if it's through Jesus,
whatever it is, god, show me theway.
And every time I said that nameJesus, something inside me went
off and it was like there was adraw there.
Then the Lord was using the 700Club and I would tune into that
Christian show and they wouldshare the gospel and pray for
(22:26):
people to receive Christ.
So these are some of the babysteps.
Now a big one was me acceptingJesus as the Son of God.
My personal instructor wouldquite often have on evangelistic
videos and tapes in the school.
So I was hearing the gospelthat way, through powerful
evangelists.
(22:47):
So I began to understand someof the terminology and things.
One day my instructor says to meout of the blue, I walk in, and
he says to me this is mypersonal instructor.
He says even the Quran saysthat Jesus was born of a virgin
and that right there God usedthat to give me the revelation
(23:10):
that if Jesus was born of avirgin, that would make him the
unique son of God in no otherway than any other human being
could be.
So I was then able to accepthim as son Now, son of God, son
of deity, son of the king.
Makes you a prince, makes youdeity, makes you a god.
(23:33):
But back then I didn't makethose connections so I didn't
realize by accepting him as sonthat I was also acknowledging
him, you know, as god.
I didn't know that then.
But in in my baby steps, Iaccepted him as son.
So so on the 700 Club when theywould pray Jesus, I believe
you're the son of God.
(23:53):
Jesus, come into my life andheart.
Guess what Now I could do that.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
At a certain point in your life, you came to the
realization that you were demonpossessed, right, Correct?
Can you explain to thelisteners how you became aware
that you were demon-possessed?
Because a lot of people, Ithink, in today's times are
demon-possessed and they don'tknow it.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
I think I knew even before I was a Christian.
We are a trinity.
God is a trinity.
He made us in his image.
We're a Trinity.
We are body, soul and spirit.
It's the spirit of the humanbeing.
When you become a born-againChristian, the devil can't touch
that, can't get inside that.
That is your true identity,where Christ dwells.
But if we think about what thesoul is, our mind, our intellect
(24:47):
, our imaginations, our emotions, oh boy, Tom of the devil can't
mess with that.
So it's too soon.
We got these different parts tous.
So that's what the devil messesand gets and gets in Correct.
So for me, I will start bysaying this I would, I could see
the demons rise up in people.
I would see it in theirinterest.
(25:08):
I could see it in their eyes,my own relatives.
Sometimes I would even run infear and hide because I saw the
demons rise up and I would runfor my life.
And so I would.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I would you know it's interesting because the you
know the eyes are the gateway tothe soul and you know, as
exorcists, that's the main thingwe focus on is the eyes.
Now, I don't being blind, butsighted exorcists focus on the
eyes because oftentimes you cansee demons manifest in people.
(25:47):
Their eyes completely dilateblack.
You know their whites arealmost completely gone, and so
what you're explaining is thatyou're seeing this in the eyes
of relatives, correct?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
And you're running yes, yes, yeah, within relatives
, family and depending on whatthat demon is.
That's a demon of anger, ofhate, of rage.
You know they have theirdifferent, distinct looks and I
remember as a kid seeing acouple of my relatives go at it
with each other, ready to killeach other and I would.
(26:21):
I saw the demons rise up withinthem of hate and rage and
murder, and rage and murder.
So anyways, for me, I know thatthrough my life there was the
torment, there was the suicide.
I wanted to die.
I made constant attempts on myown life the day I became
consciously aware of the world.
(26:41):
I know it's different forpeople at different ages, but
for me it was age four and itwas like somebody turned the
light on inside my soul and saidhey, kid, take a look around
and tell me what you see.
And what I saw wasn't pretty,wasn't good, and I wanted out.
It's like God, why am I here?
Get me out of here.
And I was actively but secretlysuicidal.
The devil had me in thisisolated bubble to where I the
(27:05):
thought never occurred to methat I could reach out to
somebody for help, that I couldgo to somebody and say I want to
die.
I don't want to.
You know, I never.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Well, I mean, it makes sense, because you're four
years old, you didn't have thatcapacity, you know, as a very
young child.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Even later in life, even as an adult.
It took me.
Oh, it was because the devilpurposely did that.
There were things that tookplace in my life that brought
spirits of isolation.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Okay, so what you're telling me, if I'm hearing you
correct, at a certain point inyour life as a Christian, you're
recognizing isolation andsuicide, suicidal thoughts as
something that wasn't really you.
It was something inside of youtriggering this.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
I didn't know that then, though that came later.
But if we go into my teen years, I think when I hit about age
12, all I changed.
My whole personality changed,justin.
I went from being the shy,bashful person to rageful, angry
(28:26):
.
That's when the demon startedto manifest.
Very angry, rageful.
So in those first few years ofmy teens, from age 12, I would
all of a sudden and some of thisI I didn't do when others were
around I would have fits of rageand violence, almost soup like
supernatural strength when thewhen my parents or people in my
family was out of the house andI would have one of these
(28:47):
attacks because all of the ragethat was piled up, built up in
me from abuse.
And so I would the entire livingroom set, I would flip it all,
the huge couches, everythingthat was there, just flip it all
over, just going through thesefits of rage.
And then, when I was done withmy fits of rage, I would put
(29:08):
them back in place and at times,in my bedroom, I'd go into
these again.
This rage of stuff would ragewas a big one that I carried,
and I would go into thesecoughing fits and blood.
I would be coughing up bloodand blood would be all over my
closet door and again, when Iwould finish going through these
demonic manifestations of rageand stuff, I would just clean it
(29:31):
all up and I never told anybody.
This is part of my testimonythat I haven't even really
shared much, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Well, what's interesting about this and thank
you so much for sharing thisbecause it is very personal,
thank you what's interestingabout this is that in our time,
today, you know, in today'stimes, you know, they would
observe this psychologically.
They would say that this childdoesn't have a demon of rage.
(30:03):
This child simply has angerbecause of the abuse she's went
through.
So they would rationalize ittotally, discard the
supernatural.
They would look and say, okay,this girl was coughing up blood
because maybe she bit the sideof her cheek or whatever.
So they're getting rid of anytype of supernatural phenomena.
I mean, you know, you're a 12year old child and you're
(30:25):
picking up, you know, couchesthat are three cushions long and
whipping it, throwing it overRight, this is supernatural
strength that you had 14 yearsold, through that time frame,
and yeah, yeah, so I just wantto point that out for listeners
that you know in today's timeyou know in today's times real
(30:47):
quick, though.
in today's times people want tonormalize demon possession as as
psychological Every bit of it'spsychological you know, and
it's not.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
That's what my parents thought.
Because I got to the pointwhere I was hurting people.
And then one time, let's seepeople.
And then one time let's see,yeah, because it was out of
getting out of control and I washurting people and I was
lashing out, I was throwingthings in and I didn't care, and
my mom would say, why are youdoing?
You could hurt somebody.
I go, yeah, I want to.
(31:20):
And so, because it was gettingout of control, they took me to
see my psychiatrist orpsychologist.
At that time I was 15.
Now yeah and so this time I'm 15and I did not want to be in the
psychologist or psychiatristoffice.
I did not want to be there.
But they said, no, you got togo, got to get this anger out
(31:42):
and under control.
You know, that's all they knewto do because it was.
It was pretty bad and they hadto be pretty bad for my parents
to take that route, and so I hada psychological reaction to
where the first time I my voice.
I had lost my voice.
I couldn't even speak.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
And do you believe that that was a demonic
manifestation?
Because that is quite common,where they can mute somebody.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, yeah, and I believe that because the enemy
didn't want me to get in helpand talking, you know, and so on
, but that was part of that aswell, and that's another thing.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Just and I apologize, I just want to throw this out
there that when demons areinside of a person and their
soul and their emotions, theirmind and so forth, they don't
want expelled.
So they're always trying toprevent a person from getting
help, even if that is apsychologist which, by the way,
(32:37):
we're not saying that psychologycounseling and therapy is wrong
.
If you listen to the firstepisode of my podcast, I get
into this a lot.
We're about the use ofpsychologists, therapists and
counselors.
We're about the use ofpsychologists, therapists and
counselors.
What we're trying to conveyhere is that you know, diane has
demon possession as a youngperson and they're trying to
solve a supernatural problemwith natural remedies and
(33:01):
oftentimes it doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Correct.
I had a draw to occultishthings too, but I am very
grateful the Lord kept me fromgetting too deep into that.
I wanted power, I wanted tocontrol.
Why?
Because I had a to to protect.
Yeah, and it wasn't.
And then I had this attractionlike the gore, the horror, I
(33:32):
like the violence, I like likethat stuff.
But when I turned 16 there wassuch a complete personality
change, tied to the opposite, towhere I couldn't stand that
stuff anymore the, the gore, thehorror.
Yeah, it's an interesting.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
it's another interesting concept you're
bringing up where, when demonsare inside you, you know they're
going to draw you to, at somepoint, occultism of some type.
Yeah, of some type, whetherit's psychics, whether it's
(34:07):
mediums, whether it'ssupernatural things in movies
that you can't get enough ofright.
So demons need to reinforcetheir possession, they need to
reinforce their existence insideof you and that, the way that
they reinforce that, is byhaving you participate in things
that reinforce their stay,their legal right to be within
(34:33):
you.
So for some that can be goinginto occultism.
For others it can be fullyinvesting in rage and murder and
things like this.
So it's a concept.
All of a sudden, at some pointin time, you realize I need an
(34:55):
exorcism, Correct?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yes, yes, I knew that .
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah, Okay so so in my case, I didn't know of any
exorcists.
So you know, and in my case,for 30 years I was tormented by
demons because I didn't know ofany exorcists.
And I came, you know, to BobLarson and he exorcised me and
I'm 100% free now, praise God.
(35:21):
But in your case, how did youfind an exorcist and who was it?
Speaker 2 (35:27):
if you don't mind me asking you find an exorcist, and
who was it, if you don't mindme asking?
Oh so this is going to beinteresting and this may go in a
direction that you didn'texpect or you know, but anyways,
I'm going to share, share alittle bit of my story, okay.
So, knowing from the stuff fromthe childhood, the teen years
(35:48):
and all that was going on, andthen when I became born again
and I'm serving jesus, and again, the audience needs to know
that someone can be on fire forgod, being used of god, and
still be demonized, still havedemons that possess parts of
their soul, as it was with meand as it is for, I'm going to
say, the majority of people,whether they know it or not.
(36:12):
Right, right, right, I mean, Ihave to dive into and let God do
that deliverance.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
So, anyways, god was using me in a huge way in
evangelism, discipleship, andthen, but I would like come home
after all of that.
And then, but I would like comehome after all of that, and the
switch would take over, thepersonality switch, the alter
identity, the dissociativeidentities, the demons, would
(36:38):
you know, would arise and Iwould literally walk in the door
from a joyous time of ministryfor God, saving people and doing
wonderful things.
Ministry for God, saving peopleand doing wonderful things, and
I would, my, I would justcollapse against the wall, just
my whole body would justcollapse, slide down the wall
onto the floor my head downbetween my knees.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I'm not laughing at you.
I'm envisioning this in mymind's eye.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Now, listen, this is what's crazy.
This is how it.
And listen, many people arelike this Diane.
They go to church, they loveJesus Christ, they're happy.
As soon as they get in the car,they fall into a depression,
and they don't understand why,because they got demons.
So I mean, here you are atchurch, fired up in ministry,
you come home and you're slumpedagainst a wall, falling down
(37:30):
and, I'm assuming, a completedepression.
Is that correct?
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I would grab my head.
It was depression, but morejust it was torment, utter
torment.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Oh God, I could feel it on my brain on my mind I
wanted to die.
People don't get this, thatdemons torment.
This is their number one thing.
They tormented me for 30 yearscoming into my room, choking me,
throwing me out of the bed andthe emotional swings that I'd
(38:05):
have, from complete happiness todepression and not
understanding why.
And this goes back to my pointand I'm sorry to interrupt you,
but, man, this goes back to.
Everybody wants to normalizedemon possession.
And it's not.
My swings, my anxiety,everything when I went through
an exorcism and I mean fullyexercised, gone, 100% gone.
(38:29):
Now no more anxiety, nodepression, no mood swings, none
of this stuff.
All my addictive behaviors gonebecause they were induced by
demons.
Now, that's not to say everyonewith anxiety and depression and
things like this have you knowthat it's induced by demons?
I mean there is, and thingslike this have are you know that
(38:52):
it's induced by demons?
I mean there is hands down, youknow people that have mental
illness and need help so you'repulling your hair out, sliding
down the wall and what other.
I mean this, this is torment.
That's the best way of puttingdemon possession it is.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
And when I say I wanted to die, I'm not saying
that as an expression, assomebody would.
I mean literally.
If I had a gun in my hand atthat moment, I would have used
it, and that's the reason why Inever owned a gun.
You know yourself thank god,yeah no.
So if someone that that thattakes the right coursing and
training and that that's, Ibelieve, a good thing, that
(39:28):
right to bear arms for defense,but I'd never you know, I can
know.
I'm just remembering now as akid in my, in my parents closet
there was a rifle and stuff andthere were times when I was at
home alone I'd go mess with thatyou know, but it was mostly.
It was locked, but it was arifle.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
It's kind of hard to use that on yourself so you're
tormented yeah, many suicideattempts on my life throughout,
but everything was doneprivately and quietly and again
this goes back to where peoplepsychologically say you know
it's your trauma and certainlysome of that is in play with it,
but the demons leverage trauma.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Yeah, the bible tells us that go ahead, no, go ahead.
That that jesus came to destroythe works of the devil.
And you were quoting the bible,verse john 10, 10, and the
remainder of it is first.
It tells us that that jesussays the devil has come to steal
, kill and destroy, but jesussays I have come that you might
have life, life the fullest.
(40:27):
Yes, and so it wasn't justbecause I gave my, my turn, my.
I accepted christ as my savior,my lord, my savior.
I'm serving him, I'm born again, I'm filled with the holy ghost
, I'm working for the lord, andall of that.
That didn't get rid of mydemons.
They were in the soul.
I needed to have trauma andthings healed to get to those
(40:48):
demons.
And another way that I knewthat they were there is I could
be in a conversation withsomebody and I could hear the
voices saying things about badthings, and I knew, I knew it
(41:10):
wasn't me, I knew it wasn't themoral voice you know.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
I'm laughing because everybody you know in episode
one I keep saying this and Iapologize, but everything you're
saying I said in episode onethat's why I keep bringing this
up is that I had all thesevoices and thought all this
chatter in my head, chatter,chatter, chatter, chatter,
chatter, all this noise, noise,constant noise.
(41:35):
And I'll never forget, afterbeing fully exercised, this
didn't happen, you know, rightin the beginning or halfway
through, no, no, no, at the veryend.
I'm sitting in my Lazy Boy andfor the first time ever, it
dawns on me that my mind isquiet, praise God.
And I was in such awe of this,diane, that's the only way I can
(41:57):
say it.
I was in such awe because I'dnever experienced it and I
thought, oh my gosh, all thechatter was gone.
And so often people think Imean this is another sign of
demonization is when you got allthese thoughts?
I've actually had people tellme hold on, justin, I'm going to
(42:20):
go smoke some marijuana to getthe voices to stop.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Yeah, I've actually had people tell me that.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
And they'll tell me I'm not they'll.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
They don't know what the voices are from.
These are functional peoplethat are college educated and
have careers and they'resuccessful in their careers and
but they don't.
They're not crazy.
And they say I know I'm notcrazy, but I have these voices
in my head and they won't shutup.
So I'm gonna go smoke some potand try to quiet them down.
And I've had other people tellme that the voices keep talking
(42:54):
at night and they can never goto sleep.
So they'll do a double shot ofsome type of liquor or they'll
chew up three and fourmelatonins to try to knock
themselves out, to get rid ofthe voices.
And this is what you're talkingabout.
You know, these voices aresaying all kinds of crazy things
about this person you'reinteracting with.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah, but sometimes now I knew when it was the demon
.
Sometimes in your case and thenin so many other people's cases
and in my case that's quiteoften there was a dissociation
as well.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
That's quite often there was a dissociation as well
, so there's a dissociativeidentities as well that were
stuck in trauma.
Yeah, that can get tricky there.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Yeah, yeah.
When a child has nowhere to run, if they can't physically get
away from abuse, where are theygoing to run inside their head?
Exactly if the brain, that mindhas that intellect and
creativity, it's going tocompartmentalize that abuse.
They're going to split off.
It's not happening to me, it'shappening to somebody else.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Right, it's survival.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
That allows them to continue to survive.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
So your demonization just is worsening at this point.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
It's starting to yeah surface.
It's starting to come up,because now I'm getting older,
I'm getting more mature, and sonow the dissociative identities
where they're holding all thisabuse, the memories, yeah, and
stuff within me and the demonsare behind that as well.
And so this was happening, andI do recall an incident where,
(44:31):
when I was in bed, they came,they deemed this, that they
there was four spirits.
One was a very large, kind oflike principality type, came at
the end of the bed and thenthere's three others like bats,
hovering on, so on my bedsagainst the wall.
So they were like trapped me inand I remember them like taking
(44:54):
their whatever you want to callthem, whatever their parts of
the body, waving them, and it'slike it locked me up, it
completely bound me to where Icould not move at all.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
So you had?
I again back to episode one.
You're saying the same thing.
You had demonic sleep paralysis.
This is not neurological sleepparalysis, this is demonic sleep
paralysis.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
Yeah, and I and I felt and I knew what they look
like, what I mean I could thebig, tall one, as tall as the
ceiling, kind of like a darthvader type dude yeah which
actually is based on demonprincipalities, that character
almost at the end of the bed.
And then there were these threesmaller ones on the side, kind
of like bats, and that paralyzedme and I couldn't move all as
(45:41):
I'm trying to say jesus and mylip, I couldn't say it those pun
punks.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
They're punks.
They shut your mouth so youcan't say it.
I experienced the same thing.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
I remember my mouth and tongue was all locked, but I
kept forcing it.
Jesus, the blood of Jesus.
I kept forcing it, and the moreI said it, the looser my lips
and my tongue got.
And eventually I began to saythe blood of Jesus Jesus, the
name of the blood of Jesus Jesus, and then the Jesus name, the
blood of Jesus, oh my gosh.
And then they, you know theywent, but I also you know, the
reason why they could come anddo that too was because I was
(46:17):
demonized from within.
Exactly this is what I.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
This is what I was telling someone the other day
and that you know, when you'reexperiencing things like this,
it's because you'redemon-possessed, demonized, and
when you're demon-possessed,demons come around you.
Yes, I mean, this is symptomsof being demon-possessed.
(46:41):
I had someone wake up and theylove coming at night.
I'll tell you that right now.
They love coming at night.
The devil and the demonscockroaches.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
They like the darkness, they love the darkness
.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
They're not going to fool with you much in the
daytime, but dark darknessbecause I'm the spirit.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
I've had some clients testify.
When they have incubus spirits,they don't leave them alone.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
They won't leave them alone.
Yeah, so you know, the samething happened, but I I was
telling someone.
You know, that's the deal whenyou see a glass move across the
counter without it moving, oryou wake up with bite and
scratch marks and things likethis, it's because you're demon
possessed and you don't know it.
Let's get back to you andexorcism.
Who did you contact?
(47:24):
How did you have your firstexorcism session?
Let's focus on your firstexorcism session.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Okay, I'll share my failed exorcism sessions.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
You had a bunch of failed ones.
Huh A bunch.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
Okay.
So because of the depression,the suicide, the torment,
because it was so powerful,overwhelming, and I just didn't,
I was getting to the pointwhere I wasn't functioning.
Good Memories started to emergein me because I started to get
a little older, I was gettinginto my late twenties and so on,
(47:59):
and so things were surfacingwithin me.
I had a wonderful pastor at thetime who understood just
associative identity.
He doesn't believe, though,that Christians can have demons.
He would teach against that.
But yet I knew differently,because I knew what was going on
inside me.
I would, since, you know whenhe would say that to the
(48:20):
congregation, I'd be sittingthere going.
Oh, you know I go.
No, yes, I can, you know,because I knew.
I knew I was demonized and Iknew I knew the Lord.
I knew I was saved, I was bornagain.
They weren't in my spirit, theywere in my soul, right, two
different things that peoplereally got to understand, and
the Bible does distinguishbetween them.
And my gosh, if we wanted, wecould list off the different
(48:44):
people in the Bible that knewthe Lord, that had demons,
people in the Bible that knewthe Lord, that had demons, but
anyway.
So I began to see a Christiancounselor.
She knew pretty quick that Iwas demonized, but she herself
wasn't an exorcist.
She was able to lead me throughrenunciations, things I never
did in my life, oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
That's a good start.
Ever did in my life, oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
That's a good start.
Yes, so renunciations of Islamand the different teachings and
different occultist things,whatever you know, we started to
go through that and innerhealing, working with
associative identity, so beginto work through that.
But she knew the demons are inthe way, especially the ones of
isolation that would prevent mefrom really being able to open
(49:30):
up and talk.
She'd have to, like, just prythings out of me.
I was just so lost in thisisolation, and so she made an
appointment for me to see a man,a minister, who did exorcisms,
and so we set this up one day tomeet at a church.
But yet I was so still locked up, my dissociative fortress was
(49:53):
so strong and I was sodistrusting of people.
I didn't know him, you know, Ididn't know him.
Try, you know, to ask me thingsand do things, and I just
couldn't be open with them.
I just wasn't able, I was notable to tell him what was going
(50:13):
on inside in my mind, what I wasseeing and all that, and so we
didn't get anywhere with that.
So that was a failed attempt.
But because I was so locked upwithin myself, continue to, you
know, work on with her thethings that we could do in the
way of the soul healing and thenI had a friend, a really good
(50:35):
friend of mine he was.
He was my, my taekwondo and hopketo instructor.
So I had my regular personalinstructor with a master over
him, then the grandmaster overhim, and then this other man who
frequented our school regularly.
He was a missionary, and amissionary overseas, so he knew
Christians could have demons.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
And so he him I trusted because I knew him since
I was a teen started theTaekwondo and we'd have
wonderful long conversationsabout Christ all the time.
And so they were doing caremeetings at his home as part of
the church ministry the littlehome care group, cell groups as
some call them him and his awonderful wife, and so I could
(51:16):
open up a little bit more withhim and talk, and so one day
after the meeting we sattogether to do with, you know,
with his wife, to try to getdeal with these demons.
You know, yeah to deal withthese demons.
You know, yeah, he's trying togo after them and everything.
And I think I told I think Iwas hearing Legion at the time
and there was definitely Legionwithin me and he was trying, but
(51:41):
I was still too reserved, toomuch of a.
You know, people's personalityreally plays into this a lot,
especially when the devil hassomebody really bound up, and I
was so bound up from the thingsthat I had suffered and endured
(52:06):
it was a purposeful isolatedbubble where things of
abandonment were suffered, thatthe ability, not just the
ability, but the inclination,the thought that I could reach
out for help, call out for help,because those cries were
(52:28):
completely unheard, unanswered.
So therefore, I didn't have thatwithin me, you know.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:37):
That makes sense, yeah, and so, anyway.
So I couldn't.
I wasn't to the point to wherethe dissociative barriers are
too still strong, literally afortress, which is a whole
nother story.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
So was he able?
Was he able to spell any?
Speaker 2 (52:56):
He couldn't get in the manifest, couldn't?
I wasn't, I couldn't do it.
Couldn't let him out, Got it,Couldn't let him Got it.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
So who was the?
Who was the?
Speaker 2 (53:06):
it was self deliverance, with me and the
Holy ghost.
Speaker 1 (53:09):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (53:10):
That's why I said this was going to take an
unexpected turn for you becauseof, again, my personality makeup
plus the things that the Lordwanted to teach me and show me,
and I learned so much from drbob larson I and I, in term of
endearment I still call himpastor bob, going back all those
(53:31):
decades from his radio showtalk back and so you had some of
his books I'm assuming on likethe curse I learned a lot from
him on things to do and I gothis tapes back, then the VHS
tapes that you have to get tothe point of the pain to get to
the demons.
(53:51):
I learned about the strongholdsof the demons and legal rights,
and so I had this info, thisteaching, and so, together with
the Holy Ghost, you know we weregoing to go to work, but I
think the first real onehappened.
It wasn't deliberate, it wasdeliberate with God, but I will.
But for me it was likespontaneous.
The Lord had.
(54:12):
I wish I could remember I had.
I thought I would have tried tolook at one of my journals, but
there's so many to try to findthe date and how old I was I
don't really remember.
But the first time the Lord, itwas a spirit of rejection.
The Lord had brought healingregarding horrible abuse from
(54:35):
childhood.
There was many, but this was onein particular.
That was a real defining momentwithin my life, and a real
defining moment in a negativeway, which completely stole my
identity and crushed my will, mydesire to live, and destroyed
one of my most importantrelationships that a child can
(54:58):
have.
And when the Lord brought thehealing to that and he rescued
me from that situation throughthe inner healing, and then I
was able to, for the first timein my life even though I was a
Christian for many, many, many,many years to that point, I was,
for the first time ever, ableto accept Jesus as a God, as my
(55:19):
father, as my heavenly father,and he just wrapped me like I
crawled into his lap and his bigfeathered arm wings just
wrapped, wrapped over me, andit's like I lived there ever
since.
So, right after that, rightafter I received that, the
healing of the trauma that tookaway, now that legal right of
(55:40):
that particular demon, thatdemon of rejection that came in
as a result, and that demon hadbeen with me since that time and
and that thing rose up, I couldfeel it, feel it rising up in
me, coming up and yeah and thenyou know and manifested, and I
can't remember if I went throughnaming it, like I said, had I
(56:05):
thought to try to search in myjournals.
but even if I would have lookedthrough my journals, there's so
many journals in the try to findthis, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:16):
So that's great.
That's great, though.
You brought up a good pointthat the healing, yes, remove
the legal right of this spiritof rejection, this demon of
rejection, and because its righthad been removed, now it's
being forced to leave.
And I just want to point outand this is no bash on what you
(56:39):
went through, because it's legit, it worked.
But for many people it requiresan exorcist to work with them
to cast out the demons.
Speaker 2 (56:49):
You know because.
Speaker 1 (56:51):
I've worked with people, and even myself included
, where we've renounced things.
I renounced this, I renouncedthat but the demons are never
kicked out, so they're stillthere.
They don't have a legal right,but they're still there within
the person's mind until they'reforced to get out.
And so there are times whereself-deliverance can work.
I myself, personally, have hadminimal luck doing that myself.
(57:18):
Personally, praise God thatthat worked for you, and I know
that it does work for people,but for me, man, it just, it
just didn't work.
Speaker 2 (57:26):
I mean maybe for smaller things, you know what I
mean but oh my gosh, man, yeahhaving the access to someone
trained there, you know, isbetter, because especially when
there's generational stuff andyou got to break curses going
back, you got to reallyinterrogate the demon, find
stuff out.
Sometimes there's soultransference, so that's where
you need a trained individual.
But after that experience,right when that thing left, oh
(57:52):
my gosh, the way I felt thepeace of God, just in God's love
.
Speaker 1 (57:57):
I mean, it was like, oh, my gosh, that had to be
wonderful.
Speaker 2 (58:01):
Just amazing.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
Wonderful to fill that type.
And what other benefits did younotice?
I mean, that was just one demonthat you were, you know,
expelled and got rid of.
I'm sure there were a lot more,but just from the rejection
alone, the rejection alone,that's a very powerful spirit
that many people have and itreally does go back to childhood
(58:23):
for many people, the rejection.
But what other emotionalbenefits did you recognize?
Obviously, the feeling of love,but were there any other
emotional benefits that youfound just by that one spirit
being removed?
Speaker 2 (58:47):
removed some of the, the, even the like the self hate
and stuff like that unworthyyou know that some of that went
with that praise god because butbecause things were so heavy
and involved with me and so muchassociation, a lot of things I
had to get work through.
There were many different layersand levels that I had to get
through with the unworthiness,that spirit, the hate, the
self-rejection and all thesuicide.
(59:09):
The suicide was the toughestfor me to overcome.
The next for me big spirit thatwas dealt with was Baal.
I know so many pronounce it,baal.
Exorcists have found, dr BobLarson has found and there are
books on this that have found,through doing deliverance and
healing, that people that havecome through sexual abuse, that
(59:33):
spirit of Baal and Jezebel haveto be renounced.
That's their kingdom, that'stheir domain.
Yes, they operate on otherstuff too, but that is a big one
.
I would go back and forthsometimes in dealing with my
healing and sometimes I would gothis is just too much and I'd
take a break.
And one day I remember I forgetexactly what year it was, but I
(59:53):
came in the face to face, Icame in the face off with God
and he actually said you know,let me know very clearly that if
I'm going to go any furtherthan him, if I'm going to go any
further than him, if I'm goingto get any closer to him, I'm
going to have to deal with mypast, I'm going to have to let
him heal me, the dissociation.
And so I had to make a choiceand it was like OK, how much do
(01:00:14):
I love God, you know?
Do I want to go further?
And the answer was absolutely,because I couldn't live without
him.
I remember one of the journalentries starts very clearly One
of the first times when I beganto, the dissociative barriers
began to fall and my journalentry starts off I met Mr
Protector today.
He was in the room with theother children.
(01:00:35):
He was there protecting and wecouldn't get to the ones that
experienced the abuse, thetrauma, until we dealt with this
big, massive individual thatlooked like he carried the
weight of the world on hisshoulder.
It was trying to protect, youknow, and so he had to surrender
the Christ, get a new role, geta new assignment in God.
(01:00:57):
You know, that was a big, thatwas like a major, major thing.
Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
God showed me one day my dissociative, the structure,
as like a castle, a fortress,because that's what they are,
it's built to protect and it'slike the bricks of that castle,
that fortress are theseassociative identities?
and one day it's like he showedme my, like a soul, but my, my
core identity, the part ofmyself, just like chained on the
(01:01:25):
on that wall yeah just, youknow, chained in there and you
know we had to take work withthe dissociative parts, be
healing, let jesus rescue andthen deal with the demons in
order to save.
You know that part of me sowe're getting a lot here.
Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
That's deep that's okay, yeah, but so how long did
it take before you were willingto give up all the disassociated
parts, get the demons removedattached to them and get to a
freed state?
Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
another way of putting that is how long did
that process take?
Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
A year, two years, five years, 10 years?
Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
I don't know the number many years, and my
journals could help me to findwhat many years.
Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Okay, so more than five years, oh gosh, yes, okay,
I'm just trying to give thelisteners an expectation that if
they're disassociated andthey're recognizing this and
that there could be demons, youknow, attached.
Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
Everybody's different .
You know, if someone's justdealing with a couple, that's
different.
But if somebody sufferedextreme trauma, especially in
their formative years ofdevelopment, you know, then
that's my gosh, you know dependson what type of abuse and how
often, and you know how that's agood point yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
You know, and this is you know, this is a very
advanced topic of exorcism,which is disassociated identity
disorder.
So this is something that'sreally deep in advance, but it
is a reality for many people.
They disassociate, goingthrough trauma as a very young
child to protect themselves,otherwise they would crack
(01:03:14):
mentally and this is a way thatthe mind protects itself so that
you know it doesn't crack, soit's a survival technique.
Doesn't crack, so it's asurvival technique.
And you know this isunfortunately what Diane went
through as a young child andshe's explaining here that she
worked through that and as shewas able to allow these
(01:03:34):
disassociated identities to, youknow, be let go as a protection
, then those memories come backinto the core of her personality
and she remembers and has towork through at that point.
Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Like.
For me it got to the point towhere I was in a standstill with
God.
It was like, okay, is he reallymy God?
How much do I love him?
Do I want to endure?
Do this is part of my taking upmy cross and dying to myself?
It is for anybody.
When you begin to allow theHoly Ghost to show you what's
inside you and to put that onthe cross, man, you're dying to
(01:04:10):
yourself.
Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
when you start to do that soul healing and get rid of
the demons, and you know, a lotof times people want you to do
the work as an exorcist for themand it doesn't work that way,
and it's.
You have to roll up yoursleeves and you're just as much
part of the process as theactual exorcist.
The exorcist is like a coachyes, you know, coaching you
(01:04:35):
through it, but ultimately it'syour will that's going to get
you free.
That's really what it boilsdown to.
And you know, I've worked withpeople where, oh yes, I want to
do this, oh my God, I got to getrid of this.
And then, you know, they showup one or two times and that's
it.
They drop off because theyrealize, hey, wait a minute, I
got to do work here.
Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
It has to do with that finished work of Christ.
Do we want it applied to ourlives?
Do we want any of it to be invain?
And that was one of my prayersand this is something I try to
get across to people and myclients.
Yes, some people just begin toseek this type of freedom and
healing and deliverance andexorcism because they want to be
free, they want to live abetter life, they're in torment,
(01:05:18):
and so that's a lot of timeswhat initiates it and that's
normal.
But we got to also realize thatthis isn't just about us.
This is about God.
This is about his work, hiskingdom, his finished work.
On that cross, jesus sufferedimmensely.
He was beaten beyondrecognition of a human being.
(01:05:40):
You know why do we want anydrop of his blood to be wasted?
I want everything that he doneto be applied to my life.
God, whatever you got to do,you know, do that in me.
Don't let nothing be wasted.
You know, give us this day ourdaily bread.
I mean, that's a part of thatright there.
(01:06:14):
Yes, absolutely.
So that's, that is so.
And also, then, what does thatallow that allows him to take
yes, absolutely healing the badthoughts and feel all that goes
the more of Jesus we have, themore we'll be coming formed into
his likeness, that bridewithout spot and wrinkle, that
Christ is coming back for Right.
But the more we allow him to dothat now we can be used more of
(01:06:35):
him.
The more territory we allow himto take in us, the more he can
use us to take territory for hiskingdom.
Speaker 1 (01:06:44):
Well, diana, us, the more he can use us to take
territory for his kingdom.
Well, Diane, I would like tothank you so much for coming on
to the podcast here.
I am definitely sure many, manypeople have been challenged by
what you've shared, encouraged,inspired, and that's a good
thing.
Do you want to, you know, sharea few closing thoughts to
(01:07:06):
encourage people that you knowmaybe they're torn, like I don't
know about whether I'm demonpossessed, and you know they're
on the fence.
Maybe they are swaying a little, maybe they're not.
What words of encouragement canyou give to somebody that might
be you know, like I said, onthe fence, about whether they
should go get help or just leaveit alone?
Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
You know I want to say to people don't let the
terminology and wording scareyou, don't get caught up in that
.
I've seen the enemy continueconstantly.
Use that to keep people fromlearning or getting help.
If there's demons inside you,you got to get rid of them.
(01:07:53):
So when we come to Christ andwe get born again, number one,
you got to start there.
If you don't know Jesus, yougot to say Jesus, thank you for
dying on the cause for my sin.
I believe you arose from thedead on the third day.
Live your life for me, ask Godto forgive you, to make you part
of his family, so thatspiritual birth brings your
spirit to life.
(01:08:14):
You're now born again, but youstill have your flesh, the soul,
your emotions, your intellect,your imag, your imaginations,
your feelings all of that.
The devil can live there andmess with that.
Logically, you're going torealize that somebody within
your bloodline probably morethan one person, and many have
committed something, some actthat had the enemy gave the
(01:08:39):
legal right to the devil toenter your bloodline.
So deliverance is always it's.
It's something that should bedone as soon as someone comes to
Christ.
It's the.
This country and part of theWestern world is just messed up
in, whatever reasons.
Rather it's pride.
Whatever they're messed upregarding that, but other parts
of the world, it's just common,so go for it.
(01:09:02):
You said it at the beginning ofthe show, but I'm also a
Christian counselor, so, besideshaving the training in direct
deliverance and exorcism, Idon't want people to be psyched
out or fearful of this term.
Exorcism is just to cast out.
That's who Jesus was.
Don't let Hollywood, don'tallow the devil to use Hollywood
to mess up your thinking,listeners, regarding that.
(01:09:25):
Please, again, don't get caughtup on terms.
I have to stress that becausetoo many people do and it keeps
them bound.
Speaker 1 (01:09:32):
If you'd like to contact Diane, you can reach her
by email at soldierofhope85 atgmailcom.
Soldierofhope85 at gmailcom.
(01:09:54):
That's soldierofhope85 atgmailcom.
I'll also be putting a link toher Full Force Ministries
webpage on the blog post forthis podcast.
So visit my website, justindcom, and find this blog post for
this episode, and you will findthe link to her Full Force
Ministries webpage.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.