BEE #129: The ONE Thing NOT To Do When You Want to Lose Weight

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In this episode of the Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast, listen as I challenge the traditional approach of changing one's diet to lose weight. This method is counterproductive and sustains a cycle of weight loss and gain without addressing the underlying issues. 

I discuss how the brain's resistance to change and the creation of desire can sabotage weight loss efforts. Instead, I advocate for understanding the emotional reasons behind overeating and developing a healthier relationship with food and oneself.  By focusing more on the 'why' rather than the 'what' we eat, I believe individuals can achieve sustainable weight loss without the need for drastic diet changes.

If you want to learn more about a non-diet approach to weight loss, get my FREE Stop Dieting Guide. Go to www.kristinjonescoaching.com and click the button to receive my Stop Dieting Guide. 

00:00 Introduction to Emotional Eating and Weight Loss

01:05 The Counterintuitive Approach to Weight Loss

02:03 Why Changing Your Diet Doesn't Work

02:53 Understanding the Brain's Role in Eating Habits

06:02 The Power of Desire and Its Impact on Diet

09:51 Learning to Manage Emotions for Sustainable Weight Loss

13:54 Conclusion and Invitation to Learn More

Connect with me online:

1. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breakthroughemotionaleating/
2. You Tube channel, Kristin Jones Coaching: https://www.youtube.com/@KristinJonesCoaching44

3. You Tube channel, Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@breakthroughpodcast-44
3 . Website: https://www.kristinjonescoaching.com

If you want to learn more about how to stop overeating at meals and lose weight easily, get my How To Stop Overeating At Meals Guide: https://go.kristinjonescoaching.com/stop-overeating

Needing more specific and direct support for your emotional eating and overeating? Check out my online course, Stop Dieting Start Feeling, and my personalized coaching program, Breakthrough To You.

If you found this episode helpful, don't forget to leave a review on the platform you used to listen and share it with your friends on your Instagram stories. Also, be sure to follow me o...

Episode Transcript

(00:04):
Do you want to lose weight butare tired of the restrictions
and deprivation that accompaniesa diet?
Does food provide you comfortwhen you are lonely, bored,
angry, or sad?
If so, you are in the rightplace.
My name is Kristen Jones, andI'm a life coach specializing in
emotional eating and weightloss.

(00:24):
And I'm also a lifelongemotional eater.
I want to provide you withinformation, motivation, and
support so you too can learn tomanage your emotions and
thoughts and develop a healthyrelationship with food and
yourself.
Welcome to the BreakthroughEmotional Eating Podcast.

(00:51):
Hi, and welcome to theBreakthrough Emotional Eating
Podcast.
My name is Kristen Jones, andthank you so much for joining me
this week.
Now, I am going to say somethingthat is going to be this, the
topic of this podcast is goingto be something that so many
people will completely disagreewith.

(01:14):
And in fact, it almost seems tobe counterintuitive and go
completely against.
What we have always been toldabout how to lose weight.
I'm going to ask you as apodcast listener and as somebody
who is possibly watching thisrecorded video on YouTube, when

(01:35):
you try to lose weight, do youchange your diet?
And I'm going to say every,almost every circumstance, in
every situation, a person isgoing to say yes, of course I
change my diet.
That's what you do when you tryto lose weight, is you change

(01:57):
your diet.
I'm going to counter that and Iam going to say that actually is
the worst thing that you can doif you want to lose weight and
you want to keep the weight offfor good.
Now, if you just want to keepgoing back and forth and just
bounce back and, gain fivepounds, lose five pounds, go
back and forth and do that wholegame all the time, you can, you

(02:19):
absolutely can do that.
But there is a different way.
To lose weight.
And I'm gonna be honest and saythat changing your diet is not
the way to do it.
So why on earth would I saythat?
Why?
What would be the, what would bethe premise and what would be
the rationale for why I why?

(02:41):
I would say that you should notchange your diet if you wanna
lose weight for good.
There, there are a number ofreasons.
And the first is our brain is sosensitive and it always knows
exactly when things aredifferent.
When we start doing thingsdifferently, our brain is

(03:03):
immediately signaled and it getsthis little red flag alert that
like, Oh, they're doingsomething different.
We need to be, we need to beprepared for something bad to
happen because your brain likesstatus quo.
It likes things to be exactlythe way it's always been from,
from however long you've beendoing something, it gets used to
the way you do things.

(03:25):
And then that becomes the normand that becomes the routine.
And when you start doing thingsdifferently, your brain becomes
immediately aware that thingsare different.
And again, that's a protective,it's a protective and it's a
safety mechanism that we have tokeep ourselves safe.
But what happens is your brainsenses, if you decide, if you

(03:47):
have been eating McDonald's,let's use that for example, if
you are a person who eatsMcDonald's and you've been
eating McDonald's on a regularbasis.
And all of a sudden you're goingto eat salads all the time.
Your brain.
is going to become very awarethat there is something
dramatically different going on,that you are making one, that

(04:09):
you're having differentthoughts, but that you're also
doing things in a very differentway.
And what that does is that tellsyour brain, okay, there's a
problem.
There's something going on.
And what your brain will do isit will fight so hard for you to
go back to the status quo thatyou have already established.
And so you will start to havecravings.

(04:31):
You will start to think aboutfood all the time.
You will start to just desirethat food so much more.
We're going to talk about desirein a minute.
Your brain does that because itwants to, it wants you to stay
where you are.
It doesn't like dramaticchanges.
And so when anyone thinks aboutlosing weight, that's the

(04:52):
immediate thing they do.
Tomorrow, I'm going to startover and I am going to start
eating better and I'm going todo this and that, and it's going
to be great.
And in their minds and in theirthoughts, that is great.
But what happens is when theirbrain starts to realize what's
going on, You It starts pushingback and it's Oh no, this is not

(05:13):
good.
This is dangerous and we need todo whatever we can to get back
to the way we were doing thingsbefore.
And so your brain will go out ofits way to try and get you to go
back to your quote unquotenormal way of eating.
And so that is why we, that'sone of the reasons why.
It is absolutely the worst thingyou can do to dramatically

(05:37):
change your eating patternsbecause your brain will
automatically start telling you,no, you can't do this.
You can't.
This is dangerous.
You've got it.
You've got to go back.
You've got to eat whatever the,the things are that you
ordinarily eat.
And so you're already fightingyour brain's natural tendency to
want to keep things the way itis.
So that's the first reason.

(05:57):
The second reason is that desirefor anything, food, a car, a
vacation, a lifestyle, whateverit is, a person, desire is
created between our ears.
It's created in our brain andit's created because of the
thoughts that we create about acertain thing.

(06:19):
So when we decide that we'regoing to dramatically give up
all of these things becauseWe're going to lose weight and
that's going to be the way itis.
It's going to be amazing andwe're going to do this and it's
going to be so easy and we'regoing to do it.
And it's going to be justfabulous.
Our lives are going to change.
Your brain all of a suddenstarts realizing wait a minute,

(06:41):
hold on a second.
We're not going to, we're nevergoing to get that again.
Wait, we're never ever going tohave this.
So your brain becomes verypreoccupied because it's
already, it already notices thatthings are different.
So it notices that it'sdangerous and that it's not
status quo.
It starts increasing as a way toget you to go back to the way
you've been eating.

(07:01):
It creates more desire, becauseYour brain senses any time you
are restricted or deprived,those thoughts start being
created in your brain.
And it creates those thoughtsbecause it wants you to go back
to the way you used to eat.
And so it will make you have allsorts of thoughts and desires
and preoccupations with any kindof food because it wants you to

(07:25):
go back to the way things were.
Again, the reason why thishappens is when we dramatically
change the brain sensessomething's wrong because
there's a huge difference in theway things are, the status quo
is no longer in alignment.
And so it, it will do whateverit takes and that's what it does
is it starts creating moredesire for the foods that you're

(07:46):
giving up.
And that's why when you go onthese really drastic diets, all
you can think about is food.
And all you can think about is.
The food that you've wanted toeat, the food that you're going
to eat when you get done, and itjust creates all of that angst
and all of those thoughts.
And those thoughts are what thendrive you to want to satisfy

(08:10):
that, that feeling ofdeprivation, that feeling of
restriction that you've alreadyhad, that you've already put in
place yourself.
It's going to try and dowhatever it can to remove that
and get you back to where youwere before.
Again, dramatic changes do notwork.
Our bodies are not, our brainsare not meant to function and to

(08:34):
go along.
Now, like I said, could you doit for two weeks and lose
weight?
A hundred percent.
Totally could do that.
But is that going to besustainable weight loss?
Because you're not reallylearning how to, one, we also
have to think about when wedramatically change our eating,

(08:58):
that's dramatically changing ourlives.
And unless you have a reallykeen sense and you really have
and I'm not even going to saywillpower because willpower is
finite and you run out of it.
Very often you can run out ofit.
It really is hard to havesomething be totally sustainable

(09:23):
for the rest of your life,forever, without your brain
saying, Oh gosh, don't we missthat?
We miss, yeah, we miss that.
Let's have some more of that.
Your brain is going to bringthose things back because it's
going to remember that thosethoughts never go away.
So your brain's going to circleback and bring those things back
around.

(09:43):
And so what the answer is.
The answer is to notdramatically change how you eat,
but to learn why you eat morefood than you need.
That's the key.
The key is to figure out, like,why do I snack all afternoon?

(10:04):
Why do I eat something and I'mphysically full, but yet I still
want more food?
That has nothing to do, itreally has nothing to do with
even what you're eating.
It has to do with emotions, ithas to do with feelings, and it
has to do with you not dealingwith those feelings and those
emotions, and food being thething that you use instead.

(10:27):
Allowing yourself to learn howto function and how to eat and
how to eat in a way that worksfor the diet and the lifestyle
that you want to have, that'swhat you need to learn.
There are certain foods that Ireally like.
I really like pizza.
Do I need to have pizza everyday?
Probably not.

(10:48):
But and when I'm upset aboutsomething, do I need to eat
three quarters of a pizza?
Absolutely not.
Can we have a slice or two?
100%.
But do we need to eat all thepizza because we're upset?
No.
That's using food for somethingdifferent than what it really
is.
And we don't have to make thesehuge, dramatic, sweeping

(11:09):
changes, and in fact, they'recounterintuitive.
And they actually are setting usup for failure.
And instead, how about figuringout the why behind how you're
eating and why you're eating.
Deal with that.
And then realize that, oh, I canstill eat the foods that I
really love and not eat a wholevat of them or a whole container

(11:35):
of them all in one sittingbecause I know that tomorrow I
have to start over and I have tobe good again on my diet,
tomorrow.
That, we have to startaddressing those thoughts
because that's what our brainfocuses on is we're going to
have to be good tomorrow, solet's just eat it all now.
And if we can get rid of that asbeing the go to thought and just

(11:56):
accept that food is food andwhen we need to deal with
something, we actually deal withit appropriately and we deal
with it like an adult and wedeal with it by allowing
ourselves to feel the feelings.
Weight loss becomes almost anon, it becomes a non issue and
you don't even have to thinkabout it because you get to just
be and you get to just feel yourfeelings and you're not using

(12:20):
food as a way to get throughthat.
And so again, dramaticallychanging your diet.
If you want a quick fix and aquick temporary fix.
Absolutely you can do that.
But if you're looking forlong-term, sustainable, rational
and doable, weight loss andachieving the ideal weight that

(12:43):
you wanna be, the dramaticallychanging your diet just doesn't
get us to the point where weneed to be because we need to
really be looking at that otherstuff that's behind it.
So that is what, where the focusneeds to be and not just on, dry
chicken breasts and broccoli andbrown rice.
That's just not, that's just notgoing to cut it and it's not

(13:05):
going to get us where we want tobe long term.
So I hope this kind of was alittle bit enlightening and I
hope that It gives you some foodfor thought when it comes to do
I really need to dramaticallychange my diet and set myself up
for that kind of failure orcould I just say maybe I can

(13:26):
just eat a little bit less andmaybe I can actually start
feeling my feelings and not usefood as a way to make me feel
better when things aren't goingwell.
Get that under control andweight loss is a non issue.
It becomes easy.
Because you don't even, becauseyou're doing what you need to do
to get yourself to make the bestdecisions for your life.

(13:50):
Hope this was helpful.
If you want to learn more abouttaking this non diet approach to
natural weight loss and gettingto your ideal weight and then
staying there and being able tomanage it.
If you want more informationabout how, what that looks like.
And how you go about doing that,you can go to my website, it's

(14:11):
kristinjonescoaching.
com, www.
kristinjonescoaching, and it's KR I S T I N, jonescoaching.
com.
And you will see a button thatsays, Stop Dieting Guide, click
that, and we'll send that to youright away.
All right?
Thank you so much for joining methis week and I look forward to

(14:34):
seeing you in our next episode.
All right.
Take care.
Thank you for listening to thisweek's episode.
To take your first steps towardsnever dieting again, get my stop
dieting guide, go to www.
kristinnevins.
com.
Jones coaching.

(14:54):
com that's Kristen with an I Nand learn a sustainable way to
lose weight and develop ahealthy relationship with food.
I'll see you next episode.