BEE #130: Not Happy With Your Body? It's Time To Address These 3 Things

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Understanding the Root Causes of Emotional Eating

In this episode of the Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast, I discuss the misunderstood triggers behind dissatisfaction with our bodies and the pitfalls of superficial solutions like dieting and excessive exercise. I emphasize the importance of addressing deeper issues stemming from our childhood experiences, stress reactions, and negative self-talk. I advocate for a more profound, introspective approach to overcoming emotional eating and body dissatisfaction, recommending the help of therapy or coaching to support this journey.

00:00 Welcome to the Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast
00:09 The Misconception of Body Displeasure and Emotional Eating
01:51 Understanding the Root Causes of Emotional Eating
04:35 The Three Critical Areas to Examine for Body Satisfaction
04:57 The Impact of Childhood Experiences on Emotional Eating
10:12 The Role of Stress and Self-Talk in Emotional Eating
16:39 Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement

If you are ready to take your first steps towards addressing your emotional eating, check out my NEW online course, Stop Dieting/Start Feeling. It will provide you with everything you need to move forward with managing your emotional eating and changing your relationship with food. Click here and learn more about this revolutionary new course: https://www.kristinjonescoaching.com/stop-dieting-start-feeling

Connect with me online:

1. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breakthroughemotionaleating/
2. You Tube channel, Kristin Jones Coaching: https://www.youtube.com/@KristinJonesCoaching44

3. You Tube channel, Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@breakthroughpodcast-44
3 . Website: https://www.kristinjonescoaching.com

If you want to learn more about how to stop overeating at meals and lose weight easily, get my How To Stop Overeating At Meals Guide: https://go.kristinjonescoaching.com/stop-overeating

Needing more specific and direct support for your emotional eating and overeating? Check out my online course, Stop Dieting Start Feeling, and my personalized coaching program, Breakthrough To You.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hi, and welcome to thebreakthrough, emotional eating
podcast.
My name is Kristin Jones andthank you so much for joining me
this week.
There have been so manyinstances in the last few days
that prompted me to want to jumpon and record a podcast and the

(00:22):
reason why is I've beenpresented with lots of examples.
I have individuals or situationswhere people have wanted or had
been displeased with theirbodies and they're not happy
with their bodies.

(00:42):
And they're looking at the wrongthings.
They're looking at the wrongparts of their life.
If there is something thatthey're displeased with about
their bodies.
Now, I say, Displeased withtheir bodies.
And it could be that they'vegained weight.
Or it could just be that theyjust, they don't realistically

(01:03):
see themselves, or they havegained a little bit of weight.
It doesn't make them overweight,but they're not pleased with how
they look.
There are so many ranges and somany spectrums when it comes to
body dysmorphia and people notliking themselves and not liking
their own bodies.

(01:23):
And what that does and thereactions that we have as a
result of that.
And some people will inter, theydon't like themselves.
They don't like their bodies andthey will continue to eat and
they will get bigger and bigger.
There's other people who willnot like their bodies they will
stop eating completely and theywill starve themselves and they

(01:45):
will punish themselves in thatway.
Both are punishments.
But the most important thingthat I think most professionals,
most weight loss professionals,most people don't recognize is
that when that situation ishappening, when someone is
displeased with theirappearance, displeased with

(02:08):
their body or have gainedweight.
It really has nothing to do withwhat they're eating.
Nothing.
It doesn't.
You can change everything youeat.
You can change how much exerciseyou do.
And you can lose weight.
Absolutely.

(02:28):
But if you don't get to, what'sreally behind why all that
happened in the first place andwhy you respond with food, why
you turn to food, why foodbecomes the thing that you go to
to alleviate the discomfort inyour life.
If you don't address that youhave climbed aboard the diet

(02:49):
rollercoaster, and you are goingto keep going over and over.
You're going to go on that ridea whole lot times.
And it's going to make you sickeventually.
It's not going to be a goodthing.
So it's really important.
That when people start to feelthat discomfort with themselves

(03:10):
the quick and easy thing is toimmediately turn to food and
say, okay, what can I cut out?
What can I stop eating?
How much more exercise can I do?
How many more classes can Itake?
How many more miles can I run?
And that's the last thing youneed to be looking at.
That's not what you need to belooking at.
You need to be looking at, whatam I thinking?

(03:30):
What am I saying to myself andwhat are the memories and the
automatic behaviors that arepopping up, that I automatically
do?
I don't really like that.
I do, but I do them anywaybecause they're just part of who
I am.
How many times have you heardsomebody say that?
Y'all, it's just who I am.
It's just the way I am.
Y'all we don't have to buy intothat.

(03:51):
We get to be who we want to be.
In every moment of every singleday.
So if you don't like a reactionthat you're having, you get to
change it.
Now is it work?
Heck.
Yeah.
Is it worth it?
100%.
But to just say, oh, that's justthe way I am.
It's just how, it's just how Ido things.
It's just, I fly off the handle.

(04:11):
I yell at people.
I, get angry really quickly.
I throw things.
Oh, no, those are learnedbehaviors.
Those are learned beliefs that'sokay to do.
And we can change all of thosethings in every moment of every
day.
And like I said, it's not aquick fix.
It doesn't take five minutes offocusing on it for it to change.

(04:32):
But there are steps that you cantake.
So what I want to tell you todayin today's podcast is I want to
talk about the three areas ofyour life that you need to
examine and take a look at ifyou are not happy with your
body, as it is.
And again, We're not looking atwhat you're eating or we're not

(04:52):
looking at how much exerciseyou're doing.
That is not important.
So the first area and the areathat honestly most people in
their hearts know that this wordis where it comes from and a lot
of people can verbalize and say,oh, I know where this came from,
I know why I do And it's becauseit comes from their childhood,
and they know exactly whathappened and what was said and

(05:17):
how things were done.
But actually digging in anddoing the work to uncover those
things and then to process themand then to decide, I'm not
going to think that way anymore.
I'm going to make, I'm going tochoose a different path.
I'm going to choose differentthoughts and different actions.
That's a whole different thing.

(05:38):
Cause y'all, it's painful.
It is hard to do.
But you will keep repeating thesame patterns over and over
again.
If you don't get to what theroot cause is.
Now.
I always want to say.
I am not a parent.
So I cannot speak aboutparenting.

(05:59):
But I can tell you that I havethe utmost respect and
admiration for anyone who bringsa child into this world, because
I have watched my siblings and anumber of friends.
Do it.
And.
It is hard work.
It is so difficult.
And it is something it is it'sthankless.

(06:19):
And it is just the hardest jobin the world.
And nobody does it, right?
No one.
There is not a parent out therethat does it all correctly.
Everybody parents, their kids.
With the tools that they have inthe best way possible.
That's it.
Do they make mistakes all thetime.

(06:42):
That's it.
You make mistakes and you try tofix them.
And you let your kids know thatyou love them, but.
There are also a lot of peoplewho have kids who probably
shouldn't have kids.
And unfortunately, there are alot of people who didn't get the
opportunity.
Two.
Have a normal functioning lifebecause they did not, they were

(07:03):
not raised.
By people who were capable ofraising them in a way that
allowed them to feel nurturedand loved and cared for.
And we can be angry about that.
Sure, absolutely.
Was it wrong?
Of course.
We can dwell on it.
We can blame that.
And we can sit in that and say,okay this is what this is.
I guess I was raised by horriblepeople.

(07:24):
Okay.
I just have to be a horribleperson.
No.
Every day, we get to decide, howdo we want to do this?
How do we want it?
How do we want to grow?
How do we want to change?
How do we want to evolve?
And the evolution is there.
And you can do it.
But you just can't be afraid toopen up that box.
Because there is so muchfreedom.

(07:47):
Underneath the lid of that box.
So I encourage people to really.
Be brave and be courageous.
And if things aren't working foryou.
You got to uncover some things.
And it's not blaming.
It's not pointing the finger.
It's not saying, oh, mom anddad, you did this to me.
It's all right.
Did the best they could.

(08:08):
And now I get to make a decisionabout doing things differently
and thinking differently andcreating different beliefs for
myself.
Because that is what really hasto be done.
We get all almost all of ourbeliefs.
About ourselves.
Within the first six years ofour lives.
We have established everything.
All of it has been laid out.

(08:30):
So we really need.
To look back and figure outokay.
Where are some things that Ineed to start looking at things
differently.
I need to start making somechanges because my life right
now, as an adult is notfunctioning in the way that I
want it to.
And I really want to make itbetter, but I got to go back and
I got to figure out where thishappened and how to correct it.

(08:53):
And how to make some differentchanges.
It makes them different changesand choices.
And decide.
How am I going to move forward?
And so looking at your childhoodand I really strongly.
Encourage people to do that witha professional.
In fact it's absolutelyparamount.
Did you do it with aprofessional?

(09:13):
It's so very valuable to, to haI've had therapy of three
different bouts of therapy.
I've seen.
Two different life coaches.
I have done.
Hip hypnosis.
I have, really looked into.
Many of the aspects of mychildhood.
And now it wasn't easy, but itwas absolutely.

(09:35):
Or is it an absolutelynecessary.
For me to move past my emotionaleating for me to move in a
default.
In a positive direction with myemotional eating.
Now, am I ever going to be clearof it?
Is it ever going to be done andover and behind me?
Now it's always there.
It's always a part of me andI've embraced that.
But.
I've done a lot of work and Icontinue to do work every day.

(09:58):
Everyday I can do you do work onmyself and on my beliefs about
myself.
And on how I look at things andhow I respond to things.
So first off, Childhood.
Second.
Is what.
Is your reaction?
How do you respond?
Distress.
And does stress.

(10:19):
Trigger.
Something back from yourchildhood.
It's always going to come backto the childhood, but the stress
that we face in our present dayand our present life.
It brings up all sorts of thingsfrom childhood.
And it's paramount that you lookat that and figure out, okay,
where did I learn that stressreaction?

(10:39):
And if it's not working for me,how do I do things differently?
Again, Always going to come backto working on figuring out
where, how these thingshappened.
Where they developed, and thenmaking the commitment to
yourself that you're going to,you're going to look, you're
going to do the work.
You're going to dig deep, andyou're going to start to make

(11:01):
small incremental changes in howyou think about yourself, how
you value yourself, and how yougive yourself worth.
So again, stress reactions, hugewhen it comes to emotional
eating.
Absolutely, that is the thingthat holds people up is.
For one, no one's life is evergoing to be stress-free.

(11:21):
Ever.
But when we don't respond tostress appropriately, And we
don't allow ourselves to feelemotions, or we overfill and we
go right back to being fiveyears old, that's when we grab
the cookies.
That's when we grabbed thehamburger.
That's when we go through thedrive-thru.
Because of that makes us feelbetter.

(11:43):
And maybe someone did that forus in our childhood, or maybe
not, but that makes us feelbetter.
And so it's always thatreaction.
What do we, how do we react?
And then what does that bring upin us that makes us feel like,
oh, I know what to do.
Oh, I know what to do.
A cookie.
Maybe you feel better.
Chocolate will make me feelbetter.

(12:03):
And so how do you respond tostress?
And how we can never get rid ofit.
But how can you learn?
To better respond and be betterequipped.
To be able to make betterchoices.
The third area.
That.
Is absolutely a must.

(12:23):
Is examining, and this is a hardone.
Examining and being honest aboutyour self-talk.
How do you speak about yourself?
How do you speak to yourself?
What are the words that you sayabout yourself and most of the
time they're silent.
Most of the time they are insidethe prison, it is in your head

(12:46):
that can be so brutal when youreally pay attention to what you
say to yourself.
It can be horrifying.
That you would never say this toa child, you would never say
this to your friend.
But you have no problem sayingit to yourself.
And again, Same result as whenyou don't know how to handle the

(13:08):
stress.
What makes me feel better?
Oh, That ice cream is going tomake me feel better.
You start talking negatively toyourself.
You start that downward spiral.
And for some people it's turningto drugs for some people it's
alcohol.
I was always afraid of thosethings.
So for me, it was always foodbecause food is the easiest and

(13:30):
most convenient.
And most easily accessible.
But it always made me feelbetter.
Always.
In that moment.
So looking at and really gettingreally clear on how do I talk to
myself?
What are the things that I say?
And what do I really think aboutmyself?
If I don't think very highly ofmyself, that's the first place I

(13:50):
need to look.
I need to figure out wow.
Why don't.
I don't.
I like myself.
Why am I saying these things tomyself?
There's nobody deserves to bespoken to in the way that most
of us at times speak toourselves.
And again, It's not just theaction, it's the repercussions

(14:11):
that come from it.
And those are, I don't feelgood, I feel bad about myself, I
talk bad about myself.
I encourage other people to talkbad about me.
And then I don't feel good.
So what do I do?
I eat a bag of cookies.
That's it's such a naturalreaction and it's something

(14:32):
oftentimes we learned inchildhood.
Oftentimes it's repeatingpatterns.
Sometimes it's something newthat we learned.
But it's 100% fixable.
It's 100% acknowledgeable andyou can do something about it.
So acknowledging and recognizingthat.

(14:52):
We all had these nobody wasraised perfectly and I wouldn't,
I would never, ever think aboutpossibly blaming parents.
We all do the best we can.
But then how do we ourselves.
Sometimes we have to take careof ourselves first and then
encourage other people to do thesame thing.

(15:14):
Looking at your eating, lookingat your exercise, those are just
distractions because you don'twant to look at what's really
going on how you're reallyfeeling.
And acknowledging and owning upto what's really bothering me
now.
It's not, it might not even bethat I've put on a few extra

(15:35):
pounds.
It might not be that I don'tlike my body.
It's just, that's an easierthing to look at then I don't
feel like I'm worthy.
I don't feel like I matter.
I don't feel like I'm importantto anyone.
No one cares about me.
I don't care about myself.
That's what really, that's thecore issue and that's what needs

(15:57):
to be addressed.
So we can stop trying to do allthis fancy dieting and exercise
and joining clubs and doing, youcan do all that.
But don't do it to lose weight.
Don't do it to start liking yourbody.
Liking your body is an insideheart job and it's a soul job

(16:17):
and once you figure those piecesout.
The weight and your body becomesso easy.
That's not even an issue anymorebecause you've dealt with what
the real background is.
You dealt with what the realcause is.
And then the stuff just becomesit's, it melts away.
It doesn't even become an issueanymore.

(16:39):
So again, Just to recap.
If you're not liking your body,if you're not feeling
comfortable in your own skin.
Please don't change what you'reeating.
Please don't make dramaticchanges.
Start looking at.
Your childhood start looking athow you feel about yourself.
Start looking at how you respondto stress and the words that you

(17:01):
say to yourself.
That is going to get you a lotfarther and you want to do that
with a reputable coach or atherapist because you want that
support.
You want somebody helping youthrough that.
You want somebody who can listenand be impartial.
And just be that sounding boardfor you.
It's so very important.

(17:23):
All right.
Hope you have a great rest ofyour day and I'll see you next
week.
Take care.