November 12, 2024 • 21 mins
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Discover 5 Simple Steps to Stop Overeating and Embrace a Healthier Relationship with Food
Are you constantly battling with overeating and restrictive diets? Do you find yourself feeling guilty after indulging in your favorite foods? It's time to break free from the cycle of deprivation and binge-eating.
In this episode of the Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast, you'll learn how to:
- Eat to Satisfy, Not Deprive: Discover the power of enjoying the foods you love without guilt or shame.
- Harness the Law of Reversed Effort: Learn how trying too hard to control your eating can actually backfire.
- Cultivate a Mindful Eating Practice: Implement three simple strategies to eat with intention and avoid mindless munching.
- Stay Hydrated, Stay Satisfied: Understand the crucial role of hydration in managing hunger and cravings.
By the end of this episode, you'll be equipped with the tools and mindset to nourish your body and soul without the stress and anxiety of restrictive diets. It's time to reclaim your health and happiness, one bite at a time.
Connect with me online:
1. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breakthroughemotionaleating/
2. You Tube channel, Kristin Jones Coaching: https://www.youtube.com/@KristinJonesCoaching44
3. You Tube channel, Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@breakthroughpodcast-44
3 . Website: https://www.kristinjonescoaching.com
If you want to learn more about how to stop overeating at meals and lose weight easily, get my How To Stop Overeating At Meals Guide: https://go.kristinjonescoaching.com/stop-overeating
Needing more specific and direct support for your emotional eating and overeating? Check out my online course, Stop Dieting Start Feeling, and my personalized coaching program, Breakthrough To You.
If you found this episode helpful, don't forget to leave a review on the platform you used to listen and share it with your friends on your Instagram stories. Also, be sure to follow me o...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi and welcome to the Breakthrough Emotional Eating
Podcast.
My name is Kristen Jones andthank you so much for joining me
this week.
Now, one of the things that ismost difficult for anyone I
think it's difficult for anyoneto do who has any type of issues
with food, who has any type ofconcern about their weight or
(00:23):
anybody who thinks a lot aboutfood is it's it's hard to know
when to stop eating, and Ipreach about eating dissatisfied
, and eating dissatisfied is isan acquired skill.
It's something that needs a lotof practice.
But and because eatingdissatisfied leads you to not
(00:44):
overeat, over the course of twoor three weeks, you don't
overeat and you only eat tosatisfied You're going to lose
weight because you're eating theright amount of food for your
body, either to maintain yourweight or to lose your weight,
and so eating to dissatisfied isone of those things that's
really important.
Eating to dissatisfied is oneof those things that's really
(01:07):
important.
But there are the whole idea ofovereating and how do we put
ourselves in a position to notovereat goes beyond what we do
and how.
What happens in the moment whenwe are sitting down eating our
food.
It a lot of it has to do withwhat happens in those moments,
but it also a lot of influenceson how much we eat happen way
(01:32):
before we ever sit down to eat,and there are things that we can
start doing immediately tostart to curb that desire to eat
more food than we need, becausereally, the whole key to losing
weight whether you're anemotion leader or not is to not
overeat, is to eat enough orjust a little less than enough
(01:56):
food over the course of asustained period of time, and
you're going to naturally loseweight.
It's not going to be dramatic,it's not going to be something
that you've done and strictlydeprived yourself or restricted
yourself.
It's just going to be somethingthat happens more naturally.
So the entire process reallydoes have to be looked at as a
(02:20):
basic like how do I not overeat,how do I come down to, how do I
sit in a meal and be presentedwith food, and how do I eat so I
don't eat too much?
That is that's really the key.
That's that's the part tofigure out, and so that's what
we're going to talk about today.
We're gonna talk about how dowe do that.
So, um, there are five steps,five steps to um steps, five
(02:53):
steps to um, to reducing oreating more slowly so you are
able to not even more so, excuseme eating.
Eating.
Five steps to eat, to stopovereating, and there are five
things that you can do and youcan do them.
Start doing them immediately,absolutely Immediately.
And so we're going to gothrough what those five steps
are and we're going to make sure, or I'm going to make sure,
that you know that these are allthings.
(03:14):
There's nothing that is crazy,different, extraordinary.
It's really kind of commonsense, but we just have to be
reminded of it.
So if you, if I say somethingthat you're like, oh my gosh, I
do that all the time, oh my gosh, that's terrible.
Nothing's terrible.
All you need to do is just makethe commitment to yourself that
you're going to start doingthings just a little bit
different, just a little bitdifferent, not dramatically
(03:35):
different, just a little bitdifferent.
So let's get to our five stepsto stop overeating.
And the first one is one of myall-time favorites and it's one
thing that I will always, alwayspreach as long as I'm a coach,
as long as I'm helping peoplelose weight, and that is you
have to eat what you love, whatyou enjoy, the foods that you
(04:00):
like, not the foods that arediet foods, not the foods that
you tell yourself that you likemerely because you just want to
lose weight and the only reasonyou eat them is because you're
eating them to lose weight.
That is not going to work.
It's not going to work and itkind of connects it was one of
the one of the reasons last weekwith our, our episode on the
(04:22):
three things you need to do inorder to sustain your weight
loss, and this is one of them.
You have to eat what you loveand you have to lose weight by
eating what you love.
So part of not overeating iseating what you love and being
honest with yourself about whatthose foods are and allowing
yourself Because when we don'tdo that, we set up an automatic
(04:43):
restricted mindset and adeprivation mentality and that
just causes us to want to do alot of rebounding, a lot of
secret eating.
We want to um.
Anytime we're exposed to food,we want to eat as much as we can
.
That's where the overeatingcomes, because maybe we're
presented with foods that weactually do love.
(05:03):
We allow ourselves to have alittle bit.
It's forbidden, we tellourselves we're wrong, we get
angry at ourselves, we feelguilty and then we just figure
well, I might as well eat therest of whatever the thing is.
When you have given yourselfpermission to eat whatever you
want, there's never, you'renever wrong.
You're never in a place of, ohI did, I ate, that that was
(05:25):
wrong.
Now I need to feel badly, soI'm just going to eat for the
rest of the night and then I'llstart over tomorrow.
There is no starting overtomorrow, it is all in.
It's all in the moment.
We take it one moment at a time, and so you really have to be
present with the idea of Ireally want to be able to eat
(05:46):
what I love, because I don'twant to restrict and then get
freaked out, either if I'veeaten something or if I'm around
it that I feel like, oh my gosh, I never may have this again.
I've got to eat all of it.
We can't keep going back andforth between that restrict and
binge mentality, because thatwill always lead to overeating.
And so allowing yourself andgiving yourself that permission
now, does that mean you have toeat everything in sight?
(06:09):
Heck, no, and most and usuallyyou're not interested in it.
You're not interested in doingthat because you know that it's
it's not something that is a badfood or it's not something
that's going to be taken awayfrom you.
So it's just reminding yourselfof that reminder, then actively
doing the thing, activelyeating the foods that you truly
(06:31):
do enjoy, and kind ofdovetailing on that.
The next one, number two, stepnumber two is to let go of any
kind of guilt that you feelconnected to number one,
connected to the first thingthat we talked about, which was
eating what you love.
There are so many people whohave so much guilt, who cannot
(06:52):
let go of that, and guilt issuch a strong emotion and,
unfortunately, what always goeshand in hand with guilt is shame
.
And when you feel shame, whatalways goes hand in hand with
guilt is shame.
And when you feel shame, it'sincredibly overwhelming and it's
consuming.
And when you feel consumed bysomething, you just want to get
(07:13):
away from that feeling.
And for those of us who areemotional eaters, the thing that
always takes that feeling away,but just for a brief moment, is
eating.
And so it's allowing yourselfto, you know, and not allowing
yourself, but reminding yourselfno, I don't need to feel guilty
.
The thought your brain willgive you those thoughts, because
it's it's made you feel guiltyfor decades and it's going to
(07:37):
keep doing it because it thinksit's normal.
But if you're going to try andchange that behavior, you have
to be prepared to counter thatand say no, that's not what
we're doing, that's not what I'mgoing to talk, that's not how
I'm going to talk to myself, I'mnot going to feel guilty, there
is nothing.
I didn't do anything wrong,everything's fine and I just
(07:58):
need to relax and be okay withwhatever I ate and I stop and I
take a deep, take a few deepbreaths and I'm going to be okay
.
But being consumed with guiltis only going to make the
situation that much worsebecause again, it's going to
spurn all of these feelingswithin you.
So what do you do when you startto feel that, that sense of
that sense of dread and thatsense of fear and guilt,
(08:22):
overwhelming guilt, because youate something, because you might
have felt like you overate, andyou come home and you're like,
oh well, if I already feel, if Ialready feel like I'm
overeating, I might as well justgo all the way in.
To stop yourself from that weneed to absolutely have.
The first and foremost thingthat we show ourselves is
compassion and awareness andjust being aware.
(08:45):
Now I want to be really clearon what self-compassion is.
Self-compassion is not sayingit's okay, you're okay, don't
worry, it's okay, you ate thosecupcakes, it's all right.
People do that all the time,everybody does it, it's okay.
I want people to stop sayingthat to themselves, because that
(09:08):
just is another justificationfor why you did something.
What really needs to happen isthere needs to be accountability
, and it's accountabilitybetween you and you, and
accountability of yeah wasn't agood choice.
That's not beating yourself up,that's owning it.
It wasn't a good choice.
(09:29):
I am going to do A, b and C andI am going to not do that
because I love myself, because Icare about myself and because
my goals matter and I want toreach my goals.
That is not being mean.
(09:50):
That is not beating yourselfdown.
That is making yourself beaccountable and then coming up
with a plan and committing to itand the follow through is the
next time you're presented withsomething like that, you make a
change.
That is what self-compassion is.
Self-compassion is not blowingsmoke up your rear end.
Self-compassion is owning whathappened and then coming up with
(10:14):
a plan for how are we going toavoid that again?
Because we have goals andthey're important, and we're
important and we're going toreach our goals.
That is what we need to havehappen.
That is the important piece.
And so I really want people towork on appropriate
self-compassion.
And appropriate self-compassionis not saying, oh you know, I
(10:38):
know, I know I didn't do it, soI just ate another cupcake, or I
just ate, you know, morebrownies.
That's not self-compassion.
That's actually being cruel toyourself, because you're setting
yourself up for moredisappointment and then because
the next thing that you'll sayis, well, I might as well just
eat for the rest of the nightand I can restart it again
tomorrow morning.
That's not helpful either andthat's never going to be helpful
(10:59):
.
So again, self-compassion andawareness.
And what I think is reallyhelpful is that you make a list
of like, what do I need to tellmyself when this happens?
And have the list handy andthen tell yourself okay, we got
to go read that list because wejust did this and we got to go
read this list and we've got toown up to it.
That is what is reallyimportant.
(11:19):
That is how you can helpyourself and that will create
change in your behaviors in thefuture, because you are making
yourself be accountable and thenfollowing through with coming
up with a plan and then actuallycommitting to execute, and that
is huge, huge.
But I don't want the general oh, whatever.
(11:41):
Okay, you know everybody doesit.
No, no, we're not.
We're not jumping on thebandwagon, all right, number
three.
Number three is an interestingone.
This is the law of reversedeffort, and what this law of
reversed effort is is it statesthat sometimes, when we try hard
(12:02):
to achieve something, weactually end up hindering our
efforts, and a perfect exampleof this is when you can't sleep.
You can't sleep, and so youstart to get more anxiety about
not being able to sleep, and sothen you look at the clock and
(12:24):
you're like, oh, there's onlyfour hours left.
Oh my gosh, I probably, even Iprobably shouldn't even go to
sleep because that's not enoughtime.
So you create more of theproblem because you're so
focused on trying to sleep, andthat actually creates more
instances of insomnia.
And that's one of the reasonswhy counting sheep was created,
because it's so random, it's sodifferent, and it takes out, it
(12:50):
distracts your brain and takesyour brain away from its sole
focus of oh my gosh, got to goto sleep, got to go to sleep,
got to go to sleep.
That's not what we need to befocusing on.
We need to be focusing onsomething else that takes our
mind away and let it relax, andthen it will go to sleep.
So you really want to.
(13:12):
When you get in those situationswhere you feel like you're
obsessing and thinking aboutfood all the time, like you're
obsessing and thinking aboutfood all the time, you have to
tell yourself I know this isgoing to work, I know I'm
capable, but I've just got totake a deep breath and I've got
(13:32):
to live my life.
And living my life cannot beabout losing weight.
That's not everything about you.
It's even it's probably themost boring thing about you.
And so don't make it your nametag Hi, I'm losing weight.
Don't do that, because thatjust turns the power over to the
(13:54):
law of reversed effect, becausethen we're putting so much
focus on losing weight that wenever get to where we want to be
.
So allow losing weight to be apart of your life, but don't
make it your life.
Okay, law of reversed efforts.
Put your energy towardssomething else.
Allow the weight loss to happenand you will be golden, all
(14:15):
right.
Number four there are threethings, three things that
changed my life and changed myeating and changed just every
way I interacted with food.
And I'm going to share thosethree things with you today.
And if you can start sayingthese on a regular basis and
(14:35):
then especially use them whenyou want to overeat, and when
you want to overeat at night inparticular, or at a family event
, or at a dinner with friends orwhatever you know weekend away,
camping and all the foodsitting out how do you handle
that?
I want you to tell yourselfthese three things regularly and
(14:57):
they will make a hugedifference.
So, number one food isn't goinganywhere.
Food isn't going anywhere.
You have to relieve your brain,let your brain relax and let it
know that it's not going to bedenied, it's not going to be
restricted from anything.
Food isn't going anywhere.
It's always with you if youneed it.
(15:17):
Number two it's alwaysavailable to me.
Takes away the restriction,takes away the deprivation again
results in your brain relaxingand allows you just to be able
to connect with yourself,connect to the situation,
recognize what you're doing andthen decide what your next steps
(15:38):
are going to be.
And the last thing is I don'thave to eat it all today.
I can have more tomorrow or thenext day, and that, for me, was
the key.
I don't have to eat it alltoday.
I can have more tomorrow or thenext day, because I always
thought that if I ate badly andI ate more than I should have,
(16:01):
well, then I'm going to startover tomorrow.
So it could be a really longtime before I eat anything that
I like and anything that I enjoy.
So let's just try and eat asmuch as we can and that
absolutely always backfired.
So giving yourself thepermission that you know you
don't have to eat it all.
You don't have to eateverything.
(16:22):
You don't have to finish yourplate, you don't have to.
You know if there's only a tinybit left and you don't know
when you're going to have itagain, you don't have to panic.
You get to be calm, you get tobe in control and you get to
decide what you're going to do.
So that is huge.
And again, your brain respondsto what you tell it.
(16:45):
If you tell it that food isn'tgoing anywhere, if you tell it
it's always available, yourbrain will calm down and over
time it will start to changethose beliefs.
So allow that to happen, butmake that a regular thing.
Allow the primal brain and yourprefrontal cortex to relax, to
(17:06):
stay regulated, knowing thateverything it needs it has, it
has access to and it doesn'tneed to try to make anything
different happen.
It just needs to go aboutliving and the weight loss will
happen.
All right.
And number five number five,this is one that kind of seems a
little random.
It seems a little like kind ofcomes out of left field, but in
(17:29):
order for you, for you to stopovereating.
Part of overeating oftentimes isbecause our stomach doesn't
feel right and so we think thatif we eat something, it's going
to calm our stomach down and andand.
Partially that is true, but itdoesn't apply to food.
(17:52):
It actually applies to waterthat if we allow our stomachs to
have both food and water at thesame time, it's going to allow
our food to be more easilydigested, it's going to move
through our system quicker,we're going to feel less full,
less bloated.
It'll be, it'll be a muchbetter situation.
But if you don't stay hydratedand your body is constantly
(18:16):
feeling thirsty, it skin foryour body, for your digestion
and from a mental standpoint, itis something that really allows
you to be able to feel focusedin and allows you to be able to
(18:40):
make sure that when you'reeating, you're not eating.
When you eat an empty stomachand you don't have any water in
your stomach, you are absolutelygoing to have a tendency to eat
more food because it's gonna befilled up.
You're gonna be.
You're not gonna be filled upas quickly because you're only
gonna be relying on food to takeup all the space in your
stomach.
So it will.
(19:01):
If you're not hydrated andyou're not drinking water
regularly, you will have atendency to eat more food.
Studies have shown that we eatless food overall, and
especially at particular meals,if we are drinking water and
we're hydrated.
So be fully hydrated makes ahuge difference and it will
allow you to cut back on foodwithout you even realizing it
(19:23):
and without there being anyfeelings of deprivation or that
you're so hungry or that there'sanything else going on.
It's just going to be muchhealthier for you, but it's also
going to allow you to be ableto feel satisfied, to feel like
you're eating what you want,you're having your water with
you, your overall body health isso much better and it will
allow you to be able to startlosing weight in a way that is
(19:45):
going to be something that'sgoing to be sustainable and that
you're going to be able to notonly reach your goal but
maintain your goal as well.
Okay, I hope these five stepshave really kind of opened your
eyes to the things that you canstart doing right now to help
you when it comes to reducingthe number of times of reducing
the frequency of your overeatingand different things that you
(20:08):
can say to yourself to make surethat you stay focused, you stay
on task with what your goalsare, and you will reach your
goals by committing to yourself,giving your brain what it needs
, giving your body what it needs, and then following through and
honoring yourself and holdingyourself accountable.
I hope this podcast has beenhelpful and holding yourself
(20:30):
accountable.
I hope this podcast has beenhelpful.
If it has, I'd love for you toleave me a review.
On whatever platform you arelistening to this podcast, I
would love for you to give me areview.
Give me some feedback.
That would be amazing.
I would so appreciate it.
If you have any interest inbeing a part of my Facebook
group, it's breakthroughemotional eating stop overeating
for good it.
The uh link to sign up iswwwfacebookcom.
(20:55):
Forward slash groups.
Forward slash food.
Breakthrough.
You get a free stop eatingguide when you when you join,
and you also can find me onInstagram at breakthrough
emotional eating.
You can find me on YouTube.
Kristen Jones Coaching is thename of my YouTube channel, and
there are tons of videos onstrategies that you can use for
(21:20):
overeating and emotional eating,and you can also go to my
website and my website.
You can learn all about thecoaching programs that I offer,
and there's all sorts offreebies on there as well.
There's a whole resource pagethat gives you all sorts of free
things, so go in, get thosethings and start using them and
start changing your relationshipwith food.
Thanks so much for listening tothe podcast and I will see you
(21:42):
next week.
Bye.
Hi and welcome to the Breakthrough Emotional Eating
Podcast.
My name is Kristen Jones andthank you so much for joining me
this week.
Now, one of the things that ismost difficult for anyone I
think it's difficult for anyoneto do who has any type of issues
with food, who has any type ofconcern about their weight or
(00:23):
anybody who thinks a lot aboutfood is it's it's hard to know
when to stop eating, and Ipreach about eating dissatisfied
, and eating dissatisfied is isan acquired skill.
It's something that needs a lotof practice.
But and because eatingdissatisfied leads you to not
(00:44):
overeat, over the course of twoor three weeks, you don't
overeat and you only eat tosatisfied You're going to lose
weight because you're eating theright amount of food for your
body, either to maintain yourweight or to lose your weight,
and so eating to dissatisfied isone of those things that's
really important.
Eating to dissatisfied is oneof those things that's really
(01:07):
important.
But there are the whole idea ofovereating and how do we put
ourselves in a position to notovereat goes beyond what we do
and how.
What happens in the moment whenwe are sitting down eating our
food.
It a lot of it has to do withwhat happens in those moments,
but it also a lot of influenceson how much we eat happen way
(01:32):
before we ever sit down to eat,and there are things that we can
start doing immediately tostart to curb that desire to eat
more food than we need, becausereally, the whole key to losing
weight whether you're anemotion leader or not is to not
overeat, is to eat enough orjust a little less than enough
(01:56):
food over the course of asustained period of time, and
you're going to naturally loseweight.
It's not going to be dramatic,it's not going to be something
that you've done and strictlydeprived yourself or restricted
yourself.
It's just going to be somethingthat happens more naturally.
So the entire process reallydoes have to be looked at as a
(02:20):
basic like how do I not overeat,how do I come down to, how do I
sit in a meal and be presentedwith food, and how do I eat so I
don't eat too much?
That is that's really the key.
That's that's the part tofigure out, and so that's what
we're going to talk about today.
We're gonna talk about how dowe do that.
So, um, there are five steps,five steps to um steps, five
(02:53):
steps to um, to reducing oreating more slowly so you are
able to not even more so, excuseme eating.
Eating.
Five steps to eat, to stopovereating, and there are five
things that you can do and youcan do them.
Start doing them immediately,absolutely Immediately.
And so we're going to gothrough what those five steps
are and we're going to make sure, or I'm going to make sure,
that you know that these are allthings.
(03:14):
There's nothing that is crazy,different, extraordinary.
It's really kind of commonsense, but we just have to be
reminded of it.
So if you, if I say somethingthat you're like, oh my gosh, I
do that all the time, oh my gosh, that's terrible.
Nothing's terrible.
All you need to do is just makethe commitment to yourself that
you're going to start doingthings just a little bit
different, just a little bitdifferent, not dramatically
(03:35):
different, just a little bitdifferent.
So let's get to our five stepsto stop overeating.
And the first one is one of myall-time favorites and it's one
thing that I will always, alwayspreach as long as I'm a coach,
as long as I'm helping peoplelose weight, and that is you
have to eat what you love, whatyou enjoy, the foods that you
(04:00):
like, not the foods that arediet foods, not the foods that
you tell yourself that you likemerely because you just want to
lose weight and the only reasonyou eat them is because you're
eating them to lose weight.
That is not going to work.
It's not going to work and itkind of connects it was one of
the one of the reasons last weekwith our, our episode on the
(04:22):
three things you need to do inorder to sustain your weight
loss, and this is one of them.
You have to eat what you loveand you have to lose weight by
eating what you love.
So part of not overeating iseating what you love and being
honest with yourself about whatthose foods are and allowing
yourself Because when we don'tdo that, we set up an automatic
(04:43):
restricted mindset and adeprivation mentality and that
just causes us to want to do alot of rebounding, a lot of
secret eating.
We want to um.
Anytime we're exposed to food,we want to eat as much as we can
.
That's where the overeatingcomes, because maybe we're
presented with foods that weactually do love.
(05:03):
We allow ourselves to have alittle bit.
It's forbidden, we tellourselves we're wrong, we get
angry at ourselves, we feelguilty and then we just figure
well, I might as well eat therest of whatever the thing is.
When you have given yourselfpermission to eat whatever you
want, there's never, you'renever wrong.
You're never in a place of, ohI did, I ate, that that was
(05:25):
wrong.
Now I need to feel badly, soI'm just going to eat for the
rest of the night and then I'llstart over tomorrow.
There is no starting overtomorrow, it is all in.
It's all in the moment.
We take it one moment at a time, and so you really have to be
present with the idea of Ireally want to be able to eat
(05:46):
what I love, because I don'twant to restrict and then get
freaked out, either if I'veeaten something or if I'm around
it that I feel like, oh my gosh, I never may have this again.
I've got to eat all of it.
We can't keep going back andforth between that restrict and
binge mentality, because thatwill always lead to overeating.
And so allowing yourself andgiving yourself that permission
now, does that mean you have toeat everything in sight?
(06:09):
Heck, no, and most and usuallyyou're not interested in it.
You're not interested in doingthat because you know that it's
it's not something that is a badfood or it's not something
that's going to be taken awayfrom you.
So it's just reminding yourselfof that reminder, then actively
doing the thing, activelyeating the foods that you truly
(06:31):
do enjoy, and kind ofdovetailing on that.
The next one, number two, stepnumber two is to let go of any
kind of guilt that you feelconnected to number one,
connected to the first thingthat we talked about, which was
eating what you love.
There are so many people whohave so much guilt, who cannot
(06:52):
let go of that, and guilt issuch a strong emotion and,
unfortunately, what always goeshand in hand with guilt is shame
.
And when you feel shame, whatalways goes hand in hand with
guilt is shame.
And when you feel shame, it'sincredibly overwhelming and it's
consuming.
And when you feel consumed bysomething, you just want to get
(07:13):
away from that feeling.
And for those of us who areemotional eaters, the thing that
always takes that feeling away,but just for a brief moment, is
eating.
And so it's allowing yourselfto, you know, and not allowing
yourself, but reminding yourselfno, I don't need to feel guilty
.
The thought your brain willgive you those thoughts, because
it's it's made you feel guiltyfor decades and it's going to
(07:37):
keep doing it because it thinksit's normal.
But if you're going to try andchange that behavior, you have
to be prepared to counter thatand say no, that's not what
we're doing, that's not what I'mgoing to talk, that's not how
I'm going to talk to myself, I'mnot going to feel guilty, there
is nothing.
I didn't do anything wrong,everything's fine and I just
(07:58):
need to relax and be okay withwhatever I ate and I stop and I
take a deep, take a few deepbreaths and I'm going to be okay
.
But being consumed with guiltis only going to make the
situation that much worsebecause again, it's going to
spurn all of these feelingswithin you.
So what do you do when you startto feel that, that sense of
that sense of dread and thatsense of fear and guilt,
(08:22):
overwhelming guilt, because youate something, because you might
have felt like you overate, andyou come home and you're like,
oh well, if I already feel, if Ialready feel like I'm
overeating, I might as well justgo all the way in.
To stop yourself from that weneed to absolutely have.
The first and foremost thingthat we show ourselves is
compassion and awareness andjust being aware.
(08:45):
Now I want to be really clearon what self-compassion is.
Self-compassion is not sayingit's okay, you're okay, don't
worry, it's okay, you ate thosecupcakes, it's all right.
People do that all the time,everybody does it, it's okay.
I want people to stop sayingthat to themselves, because that
(09:08):
just is another justificationfor why you did something.
What really needs to happen isthere needs to be accountability
, and it's accountabilitybetween you and you, and
accountability of yeah wasn't agood choice.
That's not beating yourself up,that's owning it.
It wasn't a good choice.
(09:29):
I am going to do A, b and C andI am going to not do that
because I love myself, because Icare about myself and because
my goals matter and I want toreach my goals.
That is not being mean.
(09:50):
That is not beating yourselfdown.
That is making yourself beaccountable and then coming up
with a plan and committing to itand the follow through is the
next time you're presented withsomething like that, you make a
change.
That is what self-compassion is.
Self-compassion is not blowingsmoke up your rear end.
Self-compassion is owning whathappened and then coming up with
(10:14):
a plan for how are we going toavoid that again?
Because we have goals andthey're important, and we're
important and we're going toreach our goals.
That is what we need to havehappen.
That is the important piece.
And so I really want people towork on appropriate
self-compassion.
And appropriate self-compassionis not saying, oh you know, I
(10:38):
know, I know I didn't do it, soI just ate another cupcake, or I
just ate, you know, morebrownies.
That's not self-compassion.
That's actually being cruel toyourself, because you're setting
yourself up for moredisappointment and then because
the next thing that you'll sayis, well, I might as well just
eat for the rest of the nightand I can restart it again
tomorrow morning.
That's not helpful either andthat's never going to be helpful
(10:59):
.
So again, self-compassion andawareness.
And what I think is reallyhelpful is that you make a list
of like, what do I need to tellmyself when this happens?
And have the list handy andthen tell yourself okay, we got
to go read that list because wejust did this and we got to go
read this list and we've got toown up to it.
That is what is reallyimportant.
(11:19):
That is how you can helpyourself and that will create
change in your behaviors in thefuture, because you are making
yourself be accountable and thenfollowing through with coming
up with a plan and then actuallycommitting to execute, and that
is huge, huge.
But I don't want the general oh, whatever.
(11:41):
Okay, you know everybody doesit.
No, no, we're not.
We're not jumping on thebandwagon, all right, number
three.
Number three is an interestingone.
This is the law of reversedeffort, and what this law of
reversed effort is is it statesthat sometimes, when we try hard
(12:02):
to achieve something, weactually end up hindering our
efforts, and a perfect exampleof this is when you can't sleep.
You can't sleep, and so youstart to get more anxiety about
not being able to sleep, and sothen you look at the clock and
(12:24):
you're like, oh, there's onlyfour hours left.
Oh my gosh, I probably, even Iprobably shouldn't even go to
sleep because that's not enoughtime.
So you create more of theproblem because you're so
focused on trying to sleep, andthat actually creates more
instances of insomnia.
And that's one of the reasonswhy counting sheep was created,
because it's so random, it's sodifferent, and it takes out, it
(12:50):
distracts your brain and takesyour brain away from its sole
focus of oh my gosh, got to goto sleep, got to go to sleep,
got to go to sleep.
That's not what we need to befocusing on.
We need to be focusing onsomething else that takes our
mind away and let it relax, andthen it will go to sleep.
So you really want to.
(13:12):
When you get in those situationswhere you feel like you're
obsessing and thinking aboutfood all the time, like you're
obsessing and thinking aboutfood all the time, you have to
tell yourself I know this isgoing to work, I know I'm
capable, but I've just got totake a deep breath and I've got
(13:32):
to live my life.
And living my life cannot beabout losing weight.
That's not everything about you.
It's even it's probably themost boring thing about you.
And so don't make it your nametag Hi, I'm losing weight.
Don't do that, because thatjust turns the power over to the
(13:54):
law of reversed effect, becausethen we're putting so much
focus on losing weight that wenever get to where we want to be
.
So allow losing weight to be apart of your life, but don't
make it your life.
Okay, law of reversed efforts.
Put your energy towardssomething else.
Allow the weight loss to happenand you will be golden, all
(14:15):
right.
Number four there are threethings, three things that
changed my life and changed myeating and changed just every
way I interacted with food.
And I'm going to share thosethree things with you today.
And if you can start sayingthese on a regular basis and
(14:35):
then especially use them whenyou want to overeat, and when
you want to overeat at night inparticular, or at a family event
, or at a dinner with friends orwhatever you know weekend away,
camping and all the foodsitting out how do you handle
that?
I want you to tell yourselfthese three things regularly and
(14:57):
they will make a hugedifference.
So, number one food isn't goinganywhere.
Food isn't going anywhere.
You have to relieve your brain,let your brain relax and let it
know that it's not going to bedenied, it's not going to be
restricted from anything.
Food isn't going anywhere.
It's always with you if youneed it.
(15:17):
Number two it's alwaysavailable to me.
Takes away the restriction,takes away the deprivation again
results in your brain relaxingand allows you just to be able
to connect with yourself,connect to the situation,
recognize what you're doing andthen decide what your next steps
(15:38):
are going to be.
And the last thing is I don'thave to eat it all today.
I can have more tomorrow or thenext day, and that, for me, was
the key.
I don't have to eat it alltoday.
I can have more tomorrow or thenext day, because I always
thought that if I ate badly andI ate more than I should have,
(16:01):
well, then I'm going to startover tomorrow.
So it could be a really longtime before I eat anything that
I like and anything that I enjoy.
So let's just try and eat asmuch as we can and that
absolutely always backfired.
So giving yourself thepermission that you know you
don't have to eat it all.
You don't have to eateverything.
(16:22):
You don't have to finish yourplate, you don't have to.
You know if there's only a tinybit left and you don't know
when you're going to have itagain, you don't have to panic.
You get to be calm, you get tobe in control and you get to
decide what you're going to do.
So that is huge.
And again, your brain respondsto what you tell it.
(16:45):
If you tell it that food isn'tgoing anywhere, if you tell it
it's always available, yourbrain will calm down and over
time it will start to changethose beliefs.
So allow that to happen, butmake that a regular thing.
Allow the primal brain and yourprefrontal cortex to relax, to
(17:06):
stay regulated, knowing thateverything it needs it has, it
has access to and it doesn'tneed to try to make anything
different happen.
It just needs to go aboutliving and the weight loss will
happen.
All right.
And number five number five,this is one that kind of seems a
little random.
It seems a little like kind ofcomes out of left field, but in
(17:29):
order for you, for you to stopovereating.
Part of overeating oftentimes isbecause our stomach doesn't
feel right and so we think thatif we eat something, it's going
to calm our stomach down and andand.
Partially that is true, but itdoesn't apply to food.
(17:52):
It actually applies to waterthat if we allow our stomachs to
have both food and water at thesame time, it's going to allow
our food to be more easilydigested, it's going to move
through our system quicker,we're going to feel less full,
less bloated.
It'll be, it'll be a muchbetter situation.
But if you don't stay hydratedand your body is constantly
(18:16):
feeling thirsty, it skin foryour body, for your digestion
and from a mental standpoint, itis something that really allows
you to be able to feel focusedin and allows you to be able to
(18:40):
make sure that when you'reeating, you're not eating.
When you eat an empty stomachand you don't have any water in
your stomach, you are absolutelygoing to have a tendency to eat
more food because it's gonna befilled up.
You're gonna be.
You're not gonna be filled upas quickly because you're only
gonna be relying on food to takeup all the space in your
stomach.
So it will.
(19:01):
If you're not hydrated andyou're not drinking water
regularly, you will have atendency to eat more food.
Studies have shown that we eatless food overall, and
especially at particular meals,if we are drinking water and
we're hydrated.
So be fully hydrated makes ahuge difference and it will
allow you to cut back on foodwithout you even realizing it
(19:23):
and without there being anyfeelings of deprivation or that
you're so hungry or that there'sanything else going on.
It's just going to be muchhealthier for you, but it's also
going to allow you to be ableto feel satisfied, to feel like
you're eating what you want,you're having your water with
you, your overall body health isso much better and it will
allow you to be able to startlosing weight in a way that is
(19:45):
going to be something that'sgoing to be sustainable and that
you're going to be able to notonly reach your goal but
maintain your goal as well.
Okay, I hope these five stepshave really kind of opened your
eyes to the things that you canstart doing right now to help
you when it comes to reducingthe number of times of reducing
the frequency of your overeatingand different things that you
(20:08):
can say to yourself to make surethat you stay focused, you stay
on task with what your goalsare, and you will reach your
goals by committing to yourself,giving your brain what it needs
, giving your body what it needs, and then following through and
honoring yourself and holdingyourself accountable.
I hope this podcast has beenhelpful and holding yourself
(20:30):
accountable.
I hope this podcast has beenhelpful.
If it has, I'd love for you toleave me a review.
On whatever platform you arelistening to this podcast, I
would love for you to give me areview.
Give me some feedback.
That would be amazing.
I would so appreciate it.
If you have any interest inbeing a part of my Facebook
group, it's breakthroughemotional eating stop overeating
for good it.
The uh link to sign up iswwwfacebookcom.
(20:55):
Forward slash groups.
Forward slash food.
Breakthrough.
You get a free stop eatingguide when you when you join,
and you also can find me onInstagram at breakthrough
emotional eating.
You can find me on YouTube.
Kristen Jones Coaching is thename of my YouTube channel, and
there are tons of videos onstrategies that you can use for
(21:20):
overeating and emotional eating,and you can also go to my
website and my website.
You can learn all about thecoaching programs that I offer,
and there's all sorts offreebies on there as well.
There's a whole resource pagethat gives you all sorts of free
things, so go in, get thosethings and start using them and
start changing your relationshipwith food.
Thanks so much for listening tothe podcast and I will see you
(21:42):
next week.
Bye.
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