Crashing out on LinkedIn

We decided to practice what we preach last week and take a day off. But we're back! And this week we're talking about the absolute absurdity that is LinkedIn right now: people treating it like Facebook, writing novels about their personal lives, sharing made-up stories about their kids that taught them X Things About B2B Marketing, and don't forget the ol' humble brags. 

We go over a list of LinkedIn archetypes and come up with examples of each (way too easy, if you ask us). Then, we end with a deep dive into the subreddit r/LinkedInLunatics; sharing the most insane (read: cringeworthy) posts and giving tips on how to keep LinkedIn profiles professional...ish. 

In this episode:

• Subreddit: r/LinkedInLunatics
• Waymo baby: https://i.redd.it/wqvwh12ituef1.jpeg 

Have a suggestion for our next episode? A burnout story to share? Send us a text!

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The Burnout Collective Podcast is hosted by Jamie Young and Rebecca McCracken. We’ve had every ounce of inspiration sucked out by years of startups and hustle culture, and we’re trying to reclaim our creativity. Join us and our guests as we explore how to restart and reenergize our brains. Every Thursday at 5pm PT, we stream live on twitch.tv/TheBurnoutCollective.

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Music track: Snap Your Fingers by Aylex
Source: https://freetouse.com/music

Episode Transcript

Jamie (00:00):
You're still doing it.

(00:01):
You're just doing it quietly,like behind closed

Rebecca (00:03):
I'm not, right.
I'm not, that's the difference.
I'm not posting about it and I'mnot telling anyone that I did
it.
That's the difference

Jamie (00:10):
Except all of our listeners, Rebecca.

Rebecca (00:12):
except for all three of our listeners right now.
All three of you now know how Iuse LinkedIn.
I am Jamie.
And I'm Rebecca.
Welcome to the BurnoutCollective.

Jamie (00:31):
Hey guys.

Rebecca (00:33):
Hello.
Welcome back.

Jamie (00:35):
Yeah.
Missed you guys last week, but,we felt that it was a good
opportunity for us to take alittle break, practice what we
preach and stuff, right?
Rebecca,

Rebecca (00:49):
Sure.

Jamie (00:49):
take vacation.
Take time off.

Rebecca (00:52):
I'm on vacation today and I'm on vacation tomorrow.

Jamie (00:54):
Look it.
See, this is what happened.
We had the PTO episode.
She took more days off.
It was two days, but it's astart.
It's a start.

Rebecca (01:03):
to start.
Yep.

Jamie (01:05):
Hype at.
Oh God.
housekeeping real quick.
Ertz and Liz Aday both got theirmerch, their stickers from us.
I think Ertz posted some in theDiscord, so join the Discord and
go check those out.
They look really good.
Like we haven't even gotten anymerch yet.

(01:27):
we need to do that soon.
but we'll also be like makingmore designs.
So we have a little bit more inthe shop, but, I wonder if I
have a merch call out on here.
is not what I needed to do.
We do, yeah.
So there's our red bubble shop.
if you wanna check it out andget something, if you see

(01:49):
anything on there and you'relike.
The design looks good, but it'snot placed properly.
I tried to like, fix everythingmanually, but you can just reach
out to us and let us know.
yeah.
What else we got?

Rebecca (02:07):
Aprons and notebooks that will change your life.

Jamie (02:10):
Yeah, I do want one of those notebooks because it's
just don't laugh at me.
They look really nice.
I like the way the notebookslook.
Adrian made

Rebecca (02:20):
last week?
What the difference between aCapricorn and a Taurus is?
And the difference is aCapricorn actually writes in the
notebooks they buy.

Jamie (02:27):
Oh yeah.
Yeah.

Rebecca (02:28):
Yeah.
So for all the Capricorns outthere, we have notebooks.

Jamie (02:32):
I think that's when we were talking to Mars.
'cause Mars is a.

Rebecca (02:35):
Oh, that's right.

Jamie (02:36):
Yeah.
Which by the way, that wasanother housekeeping.
we were supposed to have Mars onlast week, but we had to
reschedule.
We're still rescheduling them.
but that's still TBD, Mars isstill coming on the show.
It just will be at a later date.
yeah.
Thanks for hanging in there withus.
And now we get to talk aboutLinkedIn.

(02:59):
I can't believe we're doing aLinkedIn episode.
It's really funny to

Rebecca (03:01):
listen, I, I don't even know where to start, but,
LinkedIn has turned intoFacebook and instead of your
aunt, your coworkers are onthere.

Jamie (03:13):
Also, also part Instagram.
What did, I wish I couldremember what that was.
I sent you a post a while agowhere it was this girl who was
like, it was like a post aboutwork and then she's and here's
me.
I don't know.
It was like, and here's metaking

Rebecca (03:27):
was a felt, yes, it was a felt cute, my delete later,

Jamie (03:31):
Yeah, it was like, I think she was like in a bikini,
like on vacation or something,like hanging out on a balcony.
And I was like, this is soawkward.

Rebecca (03:40):
The other one had a picture of her ass too.
Like she was in a bikini and

Jamie (03:44):
that's right.
She was like

Rebecca (03:44):
the angle.

Jamie (03:45):
over her shoulder.
Oops.

Rebecca (03:48):
But, so as a user of LinkedIn, like how do you, is
LinkedIn important to you?
do you update it often?
have you had connections?
what is your relationship withLinkedIn

Jamie (03:57):
Mars.
Mars and I met on LinkedIn, sothat's cool.
I don't think, I don't useLinkedIn a lot, but I am on it
and I like check it weekly.
especially looking for a job.
And that's part of the problemwith LinkedIn becoming like a
Facebook or an Instagram, isthat it's so saturated with
these bullshit posts that I feellike people trying to find work,

(04:21):
is getting buried a little bit.
And that may not be the case,but that's how I see it.
reshare those of like peoplelooking for work.
Like you don't need to write apage about how your daughter's
screwing up

Rebecca (04:34):
Hold on.
We'll get there.
We'll get there, we'll getthere.
That's,

Jamie (04:38):
All right.
What about you?
But I do have like connectionson there that are valuable.
That are valuable.
So

Rebecca (04:45):
Yeah.
Most of my, so that's how I gotmy current job, was connecting
with my boss.
most of my managers have beenlike Gen X and older, so they're
on there.
And so they tend to use network,they tend to use LinkedIn for
networking and they take yourprofile seriously, like looking
at your profile.
so I try to keep mine clean andtidy and just free of anything

(05:09):
weird.
It's no weird.

Jamie (05:12):
probably post weird stuff, but not but it's still
about work.
I don't, yeah.

Rebecca (05:16):
yeah.
we talked about the different,so in literature there are
different archetypes.
Archetypes.
So you have the hero, you havedifferent things.
And so in LinkedIn we havemultiple different types,
multiple LinkedIn archetypes.
And so the first one was, thehumble brag guy.
Do you wanna go ahead and talkabout the one you saw about his

(05:38):
4:00 AM routine?

Jamie (05:40):
Oh yeah.

Rebecca (05:41):
He wakes up at 4:00 AM he dunks his head in cold water.

Jamie (05:44):
oh my God.
it was insane.
And I'm actually surprised'causeI don't usually do this.
I don't usually get trapped byLinkedIn, but I was so annoyed
by it that I commented and Ithought everyone was gonna be
like, oh, shut up.
nobody actually like.
Said anything back to me, whichis fun, which is good.
But yeah, it was just like aninfluencer video about a day in

(06:04):
my life.
And first I get up at four inthe morning and then, I have my
assistant personal chef, wife,partner, maybe bring me a giant
bowl full of ice and a largebottle of name brand.
I am not sure it could have beenstill, but I'm pretty sure it's
like sparkling water.

(06:24):
Like expensive sparkling waterdumps the entire bottle.
It's like a wine bottle dumpsthe entire like wine bottle of
water in the bowl.
Dunks his head in it.
Okay.
Dunks his head in ice

Rebecca (06:35):
He wastes an entire bottle

Jamie (06:37):
whole bottle.
Yep.
oh.
But twice then, so that's whathe does, almost like within the
first 30 minutes of waking upand then he goes and he's like
telling you his full routine.
Then he goes and he like, goesdown to the really nice gym
that's in his like fancy, likehigh rise, expensive apartment.
and then you see them like, handthe employees there, hand him a

(06:59):
towel and he's oh, thank you.
And then he like goes for aswim.
And then he comes back and heshowers and he gets ready.
And then like right before hegoes into a, like his first
meeting of the day, he dunk.
He does the same thing with thebowl and the ice and the,
another bottle of water.
And I'm just like, okay.
people say that can be like,good for your skin and like also

(07:21):
like it does wake you up, butjust use sink water, dude.
Like, why are you, why is this awhole thing?

Rebecca (07:27):
Also, why are you putting that on a professional
networking site?
It's only to make everyone who'sseeing it feel bad about their
own morning routines.
This is a guy who is, so this isPatrick Bateman level.

Jamie (07:38):
Yeah.

Rebecca (07:39):
ready with me.

Jamie (07:40):
yeah.
Absolutely it is.
It's insane.
He might, this guy might be aserial killer, I don't know.

Rebecca (07:47):
Probably you put, you're putting your face in ice
twice in a row,

Jamie (07:51):
Yeah.

Rebecca (07:51):
and now we're fucking talking about it.
Which was his goal this wholetime.

Jamie (07:56):
I'm not gonna say the brand of the water on the show.
but it was just very obvious,like anytime the bottle was
handed to him, it was facing thescreen and everyone was talking
about it.
oh, like what's your 4:00 AM youknow, what do you do that really
gets you going?
And people were just like,honestly responding.
But I'm just sitting there andI'm thinking, aren't there other

(08:18):
people who are looking at this?
And Either, maybe like me andannoyed, but also some people
looking at it and being like, ohman, if only I could get up at
4:00 AM fa 4:00 AM I need to dothat.

Rebecca (08:28):
I have kids, or I have kids and a whole household to
run.
Like the woman behind the camerawho's fetching his ice bowls.

Jamie (08:36):
yeah, it's ice bowls, ice bowl, fetcher.
I'm hiring an ice bowl fetcher.
$10

Rebecca (08:42):
And wife I, bull fetcher, wife and breeder of
children like,

Jamie (08:48):
But I just think that just like with every influencer
on fucking Instagram, it's,everything is so catered and
fake.
And that was a sponsored postthat was all about advertising
the water.
And so it's my comment was justbasically, I just wanna remind
people of a couple of thingslike.
This is a sponsored post.
This is what he does.

(09:09):
He's getting paid for this.
Just like on a tirade.
I was in a mood.

Rebecca (09:14):
well actually, and he's getting paid any engagement.
He gets paid for.

Jamie (09:18):
I was in the mood.
Okay.
And so I just went with it andand I was like, if you're
feeling like shame becauseyou're like, oh, I can't do that
because I have kids, or becauseof this or because of this.
And you're feeling shame becauseit's oh, I should be able to do
this.
Look at this guy.
Look at all he's doing.
There's that.
And there's

Rebecca (09:35):
a fucking commercial.
It's a fucking commercial.

Jamie (09:37):
put on top of that wealth money.

Rebecca (09:41):
Oh,

Jamie (09:42):
Of course it's easy when you have a personal chef.
Do all your food prep, make allyour meals, and then serve them
to you.
I would love that.
I would eat so much better if Ihad a personal chef,

Rebecca (09:55):
so

Jamie (09:55):
to a pool and a gym.
Yeah.

Rebecca (09:57):
Oh yeah.
The same vein is like guys whopost what they made that year.
I see a lot of guys posting liketheir, net worth or like what
they post, what they made in ayear.
or they just do the humble bragvacations at a very expensive
place.
It's just.
Posting on LinkedIn as like a,here's what I've been doing.
But it's really a wealth humblebrag of Ooh, I went to Turks and

(10:19):
Caicos and you didn't peasants.
and who's supposed to care aboutthat?

Jamie (10:24):
Yeah.

Rebecca (10:25):
His coworkers, that this is what I mean, who is
supposed to see that be?
Like, either I want him to workfor me or I wanna work for him.
Or are you just doing it?
Three is apparently a commercialfor a sparkling face water.

Jamie (10:38):
Yeah.
Sparkling Face Water.
That's an episode title rightthere.

Rebecca (10:43):
that's the first one.
The second one is the,unqualified white man who posts
something like, I was reallytired of working at a call
center, so I decided one day tocall myself a financial expert.
And the next thing I know, andthen I wrote about it, and here
I am today, still not qualified,but making money somehow doing
it anyway, eh,

Jamie (11:05):
Because people call themselves anything on LinkedIn.
That's another thing is likeLinkedIn is not,

Rebecca (11:10):
it too.

Jamie (11:10):
it's, LinkedIn is not a fucking primary source.
Like

Rebecca (11:14):
No.

Jamie (11:15):
in articles when we're editing articles that writers
give us and maybe theyinterviewed someone, I make them
give me their LinkedIn just'cause like I wanna look.
But then also like a page ontheir website or the company
site that says this is who theyare, this is their title.
And do you know how many timesthat's completely, those two
things are completely different.
It's it could sometimes, I'msure it's like they got a

(11:37):
promotion or a title change orsomething like that, but a lot
of times it's just like peopleare putting whatever they want
on LinkedIn.

Rebecca (11:44):
So the mediocre man who's I've decided that this is
what I am right now.
And so it is, and everyone inthe comms is like, only God.
So inspirational.
Way to go, buddy.
You could do it.

Jamie (11:54):
Betty even takes his kids to the beach.
Oh my God.
What a guy.
What a dad.

Rebecca (11:58):
So it's the, I can do, I did it and you can do it too,
but not really guy.
So that's the second one is justthe,

Jamie (12:05):
S Speaking of humble brags though, do you remember,
this was a while ago.
I can't remember if it was thisyear, last year, but there was a
post by somebody we know about,like meeting with, my
entrepreneur, men's club or likewhatever.
And it was like a picture and itwas literally

Rebecca (12:25):
founders.
The founders club.
it was meant exclusively forpeople who had started and sold
their startups.
So basically a new millionaireswhite men.

Jamie (12:35):
was one, one person of color there.
It was the rest, all white men.

Rebecca (12:40):
that's their DEI efforts.

Jamie (12:44):
No women.

Rebecca (12:44):
We are including an Asian millionaire, you guys.
Good job guys.
Yeah.
Hi.
I'm meeting with all of my othermillionaire friends.
Fuck you, peasants.

Jamie (12:55):
I don't know, man.
Maybe we,

Rebecca (12:58):
feels grotesque

Jamie (12:59):
yeah, I was just gonna say, maybe we need to reach out
to these guys and see if theycan bankroll the podcast, little
DEI efforts.
Yeah, exactly.
Hiq, good morning.

Rebecca (13:11):
there.
The third type is someone likeyour sister-in-law who actually
posts really practical anduseful information.
she had one last week and it waslike, if you're on LinkedIn and
you take it seriously, here'swhat you need to be doing to
your profile to get it to apoint where it's ready to go if
something were to happen.
She goes, A lot of people makethe mistake of updating their

(13:31):
LinkedIn after they're laid off.
You need to have your LinkedInworking for you now.
I was like, that's actually areally good idea.
And I looked at mine and Ididn't have any, I didn't have
any, like my bio was old and Ididn't have a work description
for my current job.
And I didn't have any,recommendations since 2023.
I was like, oh, okay.
I probably should.
So there's people like that whoare actually taking this

(13:52):
seriously and using it for whatit's supposed to be and offering
helpful advice.

Jamie (13:56):
But then also I think, I love, I do, I love her content.
Love ikas content.
but I think that also opens thedoor for all of these other
people who are, like, I'm an ina LinkedIn influencer.
that's the thing that's, it'ssuper big right now is to be a
LinkedIn influencer.
that's huge.
People are, people jumped on itbecause it wasn't as hard to do

(14:21):
as with the other platforms thatare saturated with influencers
already.

Rebecca (14:26):
yeah.

Jamie (14:27):
And you know why?
'cause LinkedIn isn't really theplace for influencers.

Rebecca (14:33):
no.
Then there's the crash out,there's the crash outposts,
which are.
Frankly my personal favorite.
Would you like to tell us what acrash out post is?
Jamie,

Jamie (14:46):
it's when

Rebecca (14:46):
if you would like, I have some right here that I
could read out loud if that'shelpful.

Jamie (14:51):
it's when you're literally like burning bridges
and doing so in such an unhingedway, right?

Rebecca (15:01):
much Dick did you have to blow to get that New York
Times page?
Fuck

Jamie (15:05):
said to a woman, said to a woman on LinkedIn, by the way,

Rebecca (15:10):
yeah.

Jamie (15:10):
you should blow Dick Pat.
Is that what you're saying?
Pat goes, I should do that.

Rebecca (15:13):
everyone in the company circle is a little more than
cult is a little more than acult follower who has nothing
original to say.
So they boot lick each other tostay relevant again on a public
forum where all theirprofessional colleagues are.

Jamie (15:27):
That's amazing.
And including my favorite, wherehe literally just says, what to
Robert,

Rebecca (15:37):
Oh, fuck you Robert.
Fuck you Robert.
Just again,

Jamie (15:41):
you, Robert.

Rebecca (15:42):
on a public phone.

Jamie (15:43):
replying to the guy's posts or replying back.
'cause the guy was like, Hey,this isn't appropriate for you
to be on here saying thesethings.
And then he was just like, fuckyou, Robert.
It's

Rebecca (15:54):
Then when he was looking for a job and he got a
response saying, thank you, butwe're not hiring you, he posted
his responses being like, whythe fuck not?
And arguing with the hiringmanager who told him no in the
first place, and he's like goingback and forth and he's I'm
standing up for the little guy,blah, blah, blah.
But all he does is look fuckinginsane.

(16:16):
Then a couple weeks later, someof you may be wondering exactly
how challenging it is to gothrough a job search while
navigating a new life withborderline personality

Jamie (16:27):
Oh my God.

Rebecca (16:29):
and then a whole seven paragraphs.

Jamie (16:33):
It's interesting because like it is very Facebook, but at
the same time, the thing thatlike it has, that Facebook
doesn't have is like.
I feel like, I haven't been on,I haven't been on Facebook for
like decades, so I couldn't tellyou, but I feel like Facebook
posts aren't usually as long.
Like I feel like people onLinkedIn, they wanna talk, this

(16:56):
is their like blog.
LinkedIn is like their site.

Rebecca (16:59):
this is my favorite.
Personally speaking, a patternof instability and personal
relationships doesn'tnecessarily mean that I can't
maintain friendships or anetwork like to remind you of,
fuck you.
Robert would like to remind youof that.

Jamie (17:12):
but hon see, but if you think about it though, is this
guy just saying what all of uswanna say anyway?

Rebecca (17:23):
You couldn't pay me enough money in the entire world
to write anything about anymental health diagnosis that I
may or may not have to thepeople who pay me money for the
job I'm supposed to

Jamie (17:33):
but the fuck you, Robert, or you guys are so up each
other's asses that you don'tknow.
I would like to say that to somepeople.

Rebecca (17:40):
But here's the thing.
So my larger point about thisis, so we saw that on LinkedIn
and then I have screenshots ofall the Slack messages we were
sending to writers, being like,Hey, or to editors being like,
Hey, we're blacklisting thisguy.
We will not be hiring.
Like I went to my boss and waslike, Hey, we will not be hiring
this guy.
So the ones who were in chargeof hiring freelance freelancers,

(18:01):
we all were like, Hey, have youseen this guy FYI?
And we all blacklisted himbecause we're not working with
that.

Jamie (18:08):
Yeah.

Rebecca (18:09):
So he shit in his own nest?

Jamie (18:10):
yeah, don't, I don't know how it necessarily is in other
industries with editors, andcontent creators.
But if you're a writer and likeyou are a dick.

Rebecca (18:24):
Yeah.

Jamie (18:25):
Everybody in our industry is gonna know it because the
editors share that informationacross websites, across
verticals within the industry.
yeah.
I think that's really cool bythe way, that like all of us are
like, Hey, by the way, like we,we know everybody at the other
sites.

Rebecca (18:43):
yes.
But do you remember when he wasmean to Dory?
There were a couple posts of himbeing really hateful to our
friend, like an actual niceperson.
And so when we see you beingmean to our colleague and actual
nice person, that just makes itentirely worse.
And no one's gonna be like, ohyeah, you know what?
He has a good point.
He did tell Robert to go fuckhimself.
We should hire.

Jamie (19:03):
I'm hoping that people finally stopped like engaging
with him because I just thinkthat's the key that like a lot
of people miss is like.
Because I, and I know the pullto want to engage when somebody
is saying something ridiculousor hurtful or hateful, but with

(19:24):
someone like that, who's socompletely lost it, like
honestly, and not mentally well.
he is not,

Rebecca (19:32):
no.
A subset of the crash out arethe Warriors for Christ.
So those are the people whohave.
In their bios, like Jesusfollower, and then in all the
comments, they're super fuckingcombative, but they somehow
manage to bring Christianity andJesus into every fucking
comment.
And you're just like, and theyfight about everything, but it's
under the guise of being awarrior for the Lord.

(19:56):
And this is usually CEOs.

Jamie (19:59):
I have never seen that on LinkedIn.
I've not come across thosepeople.

Rebecca (20:05):
I have seen it a lot.
it's very, and it's usually likeChrist follower, entrepreneur.

Jamie (20:13):
Wait is like Christ follower first, like before,
like

Rebecca (20:16):
Oh, a hundred percent.
It's either Christ follower orJesus lover on LinkedIn.
And again, this is a

Jamie (20:23):
I'm gonna start,

Rebecca (20:24):
I want to get a job.

Jamie (20:25):
in my LinkedIn profile and just see what happens.

Rebecca (20:27):
I wanna go.
So people who wanna hire me canfind me if I have shit that
makes them go, Ugh, I don't wantthat.
And if I see something that saysJesus follower.
First of all, I question whatthat has anything to do with you
as a professional.
And if you are not puttinganything professional, then I
question your ability to do thefucking job.

(20:49):
And also you're probably reallyfucking annoying to talk to.
And I don't want you as acoworker,

Jamie (20:57):
But Rebecca, let's be honest, that's everybody.
Everybody's

Rebecca (21:00):
is everyone that would be the one who like makes an HR
complaint.
Like the first time I respond tohim in a gif.
It's just

Jamie (21:07):
Oh my God.

Rebecca (21:10):
but I mean it, that's I'm questioning like, what is
the point?
Are you doing it because youfeel like it makes you a better
employee?
Are you doing it because you'refucking grandstanding?
And if you are grandstanding,again, I genuinely ask on a
professional networking site,what you do there, bud, what are
you doing?
Whatcha are doing?
doing?

Jamie (21:29):
It's just yeah, a, it's been a place for people to just,
I dunno, stroke their ego and

Rebecca (21:37):
Please do the dad one.
Please do the dad.
That's also my favorite one isDads of quote unquote smart
children who say the darnestthings that's usually the one.
It's like I was feeling reallybad about not being able to do
X, Y, and Z and my child came upto me and said something that,
every CEO would love to hearthem say.
And I went, you know what?
Wise child, that's a really goodpoint.
And that's actually my thought,but I can't say that'cause

(21:58):
that's humble bragging, so I'lljust make my child say it.
So like it's a fun parable andthen I'm putting it on

Jamie (22:03):
I just realized I'm stupid and I can just grab my
phone.
I was like, I don't have it onthis computer'cause I wanna

Rebecca (22:09):
so the, so number one, just fucking say what you wanna
say.
And number two, why the fuck areyou bringing your kid again?
Why are you bringing your childto a professional networking
site and bringing them into anyof this?
Go for it, Jamie.

Jamie (22:20):
this one's like out, this one's mocking people who do

Rebecca (22:23):
Yes, that's my favorite.

Jamie (22:24):
I love it.
my 4-year-old froze on stage ather first ballet recital.
I failed.
She told me after the show, Ilooked at her heartbroken with
tears in my eyes.
No, I failed you.
But today you've given me morethan I could have ever asked
for.
You gave me a sad kid story topost on LinkedIn.
Link what she asked.

(22:47):
LinkedIn, I replied.
A place where depressingpersonal anecdotes involving
imaginary children are postedand mind for engagement in order
to boost one's own professionalidentity.
She looked at me confused, butDad, I cut her off.
Holly doesn't even have a kid.
Yeah.

(23:07):
Oh

Rebecca (23:08):
but that's exactly what they all are.
My imaginary child saidsomething under the guise of
being wise when really, it'sjust something I wanted to say
actually.

Jamie (23:16):
yeah.
I should start.
I should start doing that.
Maybe.
Maybe I need to become aLinkedIn influencer, you guys.
Maybe this is it.

Rebecca (23:25):
Or the dads, I think we talked about that last week.
The dads who take their kids onvacation, then post photos
seven, he be like, oh my God,what an amazing, what an amazing
man.
He's just such a good man.
Which again, has nothing to dowith, can you do the fucking job
I wanna hire you for?

Jamie (23:37):
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca (23:39):
I don't care about your life.
I want to know if you can do thejob and you posting.
That kind of thing makes mereconsider hiring you and your
judgment because why are youdoing it?
Why are you making this choice?
What does that have to do at allwith your ability to do your
job?
And I think you're doing this todistract us from the fact that
you actually can't do your job.

(24:00):
We're just supposed to thinkyou're a nice guy and you're
supposed to get by on just beinglike a really nice guy to work
with, except you don't actuallydo the fucking work that I'm
hiring you for.
That's what I tend to think.
But you know,

Jamie (24:13):
Oh, what was I just thinking?
Um, uh, I lost it.
I don't fucking know.

Rebecca (24:20):
cancer diagnosis is another big LinkedIn one where
everyone either posts about liketheir own cancer or their mom or
their invisible kid's cancer,like they're pretending wise
children's cancer.

Jamie (24:31):
Like I would never, that's so personal.

Rebecca (24:35):
yes,

Jamie (24:35):
I would tell like my tiny few close friends and that's it.
I'm not gonna

Rebecca (24:42):
and I understand like we want workers to know that
they're people.
But let's just be honest.
When I'm trying to hire someonefor a job, I want to know your
skillset and how well you can dothe job.
I don't wanna know anything elsethat's going to cover like color
my ability to hire you, right?
Like I don't wanna know any ofthis.

Jamie (25:01):
Yeah, I have however seen posts that are maybe like a
cancer post, like I have, orlike I had this big medical
thing and I had to like, takeoff work and I've seen a couple
that are good.
I think they focus on, this wasmy works policy and

Rebecca (25:18):
Oh,

Jamie (25:19):
not many people have this policy.
You should consider having thispolicy.
So if this comes up for anybodyelse.
So like a leave, like an leaveof absence policy or like
medical leave policy.
I know there's like FMLA andother shit, but, I think like
the, these specific companieslike really went above and
beyond and they were like, I wasable to do this and like

(25:42):
actually take my time torecover, and get healthy before
going back to work because ofthese policies.
And people need to rethink likeactually having these, So those
I can get behind.

Rebecca (25:55):
No, and that's great marketing for the company they
work at.

Jamie (25:58):
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca (25:59):
She said cynically.

Jamie (26:01):
Yeah, that's true, but I would, if I would wanna scream
that from the rooftops if likethe company I worked for did
something so well like thathelped me out immensely during a
hard time especially.

Rebecca (26:13):
I've also seen posts on people whose partner have
addiction issues, about losingweight or gaining weight, or
their mom is dead or their petis dead.
Like really just, again, this issocial media stuff, but it is
not professional networkingstuff.

Jamie (26:29):
Yeah,

Rebecca (26:30):
You know what I mean?
Like there, there seems to be noboundaries anymore and.
Yeah.
As I'm saying this, I feel likemaybe I'm just an old person and
I wonder if like youngergenerations see things this way,
but I just really don't wannaknow you that way, coworker.
I just really don't.

(26:50):
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I just, I just don't,

Jamie (26:53):
Yeah.

Rebecca (26:54):
I just don't.

Jamie (26:55):
I've seen just like weird pictures of like people on
LinkedIn that like I've workedwith closely and I'm just like,

Rebecca (27:03):
Mm-hmm.

Jamie (27:04):
are you posting this?
Like selfie of yourself?
Or

Rebecca (27:06):
Of your butt.
Of your butt on LinkedIn.

Jamie (27:08):
a picture of like your butt and a bikini, I don't know.

Rebecca (27:11):
But there is the menace, there's LinkedIn's
self-proclaimed menace who wedid reach out to, and she's
taken the art of crashing out onLinkedIn to a whole other level.

Jamie (27:23):
yeah.

Rebecca (27:24):
So she's a content creator and The copy is actually
extremely funny and chaotic.
and she gets engagement.
So she's showing off, she'sshowing off her writing ability
while also pointing out like theinadequacies and the lack of
equity in the workplace andunfair work practices, right?
So she's doing that, like she'scrashing out, but she's crashing

(27:45):
out in a way that displays whatshe can actually do and her
talents.
So she's taken what I originallywas like, uh, about, and then
managed to flip it intosomething that's admirable and
like, oh my God, that's there.
You're marketing yourself, whichis what you're there to do.
You're there to market yourself.
So it's brilliant.

Jamie (28:04):
and I think that's another good example of somebody
who's, maybe I shouldn't sayanother good example because
that previous guy was not a goodexample, but another example, a
good one of somebody who's a lotof the time she's saying what we
all are thinking and wanna sayand is that something like I
would ever do like that?

(28:24):
I wouldn't say never.
But like I'm just sayingcurrently like no, because I'm
not gonna.
I'm not gonna say fuck you,Robert, to some guy that like I
may need as a connection in thefuture.
but but yeah, but if I had myown thing and I was doing well
and it was doing that and beinglike a LinkedIn menace, which
she calls herself, yeah.

(28:46):
I would just be like, yeah,there go all my fucks.
let's get into it.
Let's go.

Rebecca (28:52):
My favorite was a writer we fired for plagiarism,
who then proceeded to post allthis content about actually
using AI to create your contentand how it wasn't bad, and blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah.
I said fuck you guys.
I'll show you.
Still not employed.

Jamie (29:05):
Yeah.
And AI

Rebecca (29:07):
not employed by.

Jamie (29:08):
another that I think that's, people are like putting
in a few key words and likehaving AI create their LinkedIn
posts and then posting'em,that's another thing that's
allowing.

Rebecca (29:19):
Eight.

Jamie (29:21):
LinkedIn to get so saturated.
I do wanna point out, I know, Ithink, save that for in-person.
It's more impactful.
Oh.
saying, fuck you Robert.
Yeah, definitely Pat.
I love that.
ah, lost it.
Oh.
I feel like some people will belistening to this perhaps and

(29:42):
say, that's why I don't useLinkedIn.
LinkedIn is like awful.
It's a spool.
don't use it, don't be on it.
But we, we find value in it.
that's why I'm still on itbecause there's value in it for
me.
but that doesn't mean I'm notgonna complain about, the people
who are making it less valuablefor everyone.
and also,

Rebecca (29:58):
is a super fun voyeurism aspect to it.
It is.
That is pretty great.
That is my favorite.

Jamie (30:02):
too.
hey, we're doing a podcastepisode about it again.
Something we don't like.
I love us.

Rebecca (30:12):
And actually LinkedIn does include my list of enemies.
So

Jamie (30:17):
Wait.
What?

Rebecca (30:17):
like how we just brought that together.
Yeah.
LinkedIn does contain a list ofenemies, so you know most of my
enemies are on LinkedIn.

Jamie (30:24):
oh, you're just saying your enemies are there.

Rebecca (30:26):
Yes.
Yes.

Jamie (30:27):
I thought you meant like you've curated a list of people
on LinkedIn, like how you couldmake, lists on like Twitter,
like back in the day.

Rebecca (30:35):
Ooh, that's a good one.

Jamie (30:38):
it's just like enemies.
I was like a little concerned.

Rebecca (30:42):
I do have to say though, just a small tip.
If you are struggling to marketyourself on LinkedIn.
As far as writing like your bioor your job description.
I actually used chat, GPT, and Iwas like, Hey, I am really
struggling to write my bio.
Can you ask me questions backand forth about like how I would
do things and what I would do,because I can't, I'm really bad
at selling myself.

(31:02):
Right?
I always kind of underplay

Jamie (31:04):
It's hard.
Yeah.

Rebecca (31:05):
a great, yeah, I did a great job of

Jamie (31:07):
Nice.

Rebecca (31:08):
actually here's how, you know, here's what you do.
You're actually setting upprocesses and here's, you know,
here's your way of thinking.
And it helped me write a biothat actually showcased
everything and it didn't feellike bragging.
And so if you are gonna use it,I would recommend it for helping
you write your bios and helpingyou write your job descriptions
in a way that's impactful anduses words that are like
leadership words.

(31:29):
'cause that's another thing I'mnot very good at.
I'm just like, I did this.
And it's no, you drove that andyou were the one who managed
that.
I was like, you're right, you'reright.
LinkedIn, or you're right.
Touchy teeth.
That was, that was me.
But it is really good for that.

Jamie (31:42):
That's a good idea with the questions back and forth.
'cause what I usually do is I'llwrite something out and then
I'll send it to chat GBT and belike, Hey, can you make this
better?
Or can you make this sound moreconversational or funny or a
little wittier, and it'll dothat.
But I like the questions'causethat I think can pull out.

Rebecca (32:03):
Let me show you it like it asked me.
here, I'll read you like some ofthe questions, which were really
great.
So it said, sorry.

Jamie (32:14):
Yeah, we're gonna help you, we're gonna help you fill,
make your LinkedIn look awesome,you guys, so you're

Rebecca (32:19):
like, what would you do, what would you do with a
content library that wasstruggling?
what was like, tell me, take methrough the steps of what you
would do, if you were given avertical that was struggling and
how would you fix it?
And I was like, oh, that's a, soI went back and forth and it's
okay, so you're SEO focused,you're revenue driven.
You're, and so it, I was like,oh, that's.

(32:40):
Actually a really good point.
So it was able to pick outeverything that I needed to say
that a leadership would want tosee.

Jamie (32:46):
And you can also leave what you don't want,

Rebecca (32:48):
Oh yeah.
A hundred percent.
And it helps you figure out thevoice too.
'cause I was like, this feels alittle cold, but I don't want it
like snappy mic, witty.
I just want it to be neutral.
And

Jamie (32:58):
I want mine

Rebecca (32:58):
so I sound like a person.

Jamie (32:59):
I wanna be snappy Mc witty

Rebecca (33:02):
I just, I still, I don't know.
I'm afraid to be my full self onLinkedIn mostly because I know
my full self.
And I just wanna say that as afun surprise for whoever hires
me.
I wanna save my full self as afun surprise.

Jamie (33:16):
This is what I forgot about that I was gonna say is I
saw a post recently, where ahiring manager was shaming
someone for having a LinkedInprofile, but it not being really
filled out.
So they didn't have like theirwork history in it.
They didn't even have a profilephoto.
And I do think that's worth itto have, but on the other

Rebecca (33:37):
that's what a resume.

Jamie (33:38):
yeah, but on the other hand it's like people don't have
to have a LinkedIn.
Like

Rebecca (33:42):
Yeah.

Jamie (33:43):
it's like they thought about doing it and then they
were like, this is.
Shit.
So I'm not gonna be on here.
And then they left, they're notgonna delete their account.
And so I like they were sayingthat they wouldn't, hire
somebody who didn't have afilled out LinkedIn.
think that's

Rebecca (33:58):
You know what?
She's probably the type ofperson who's I love your morning
routine with sparkling icewater, and I'm also going to try
that.

Jamie (34:04):
I'm gonna try that.
But I'm gonna try it with,champagne next time.
Only the nicest, most expensivechampagne with ice.
And I'm gonna dunk my face in itand blow bubbles.

Rebecca (34:20):
There a hundred percent is a lack of, voices of color
there too.
A hundred percent.
It is mostly just CEOs and whiteguys being like, I wrote this
book, eh?

Jamie (34:32):
And like the wealth gap is very obvious.

Rebecca (34:35):
Yes.
Oh, for sure.
All these CEOs trying to be likethe next fucking Steve Jobs and
inspiring them asses, and theyjust sound like giant fucking
douche bags.

Jamie (34:44):
And it's just, yeah, I'm sick of people being like,
you're just lazy.
You're just not doing the thing.
You gotta work hard and do thething and then this'll happen
for you.
And it's Or is it that you had Xamount of money or I don't know,
or family money to go out andpursue your dream of a company

(35:06):
you wanted to make and this ishow you did it.
And don't act like that'sattainable.
Like it was back when we worked,editing for like student loan
content.
And Do you remember what was it?
There was like, we saw somestories come out where it was
like, I.

(35:28):
Here's how I paid off my 34$5,000 student loan debt.
But then we'd read the story andlike the first thing is my
grandpa died, so I had$50,000.
And it's of course.
What do you mean?
of course that's how you paid itoff.
What the fuck is this?
Do you remember that?
Those were everywhere.

Rebecca (35:47):
That's right.
Yeah.
So it has nothing to do withyour fucking job or your, again,
it's that humble brag, look atmy fat ass wallet.

Jamie (35:54):
It's ridiculous.

Rebecca (35:56):
It's ridiculous.

Jamie (35:56):
Or the connections that just gave you the jump ahead.
What do you mean the jump ahead?
Oh, the

Rebecca (36:04):
Yeah.
The people who, who hired yourfriend, hired you to run the
company, Like you were

Jamie (36:08):
Oh,

Rebecca (36:08):
without having to earn your place.
AKA daddy hired you for to bethe next CEO.

Jamie (36:15):
And hey, if I could have done that.
Like I would probably do thattoo.
So that's fine, whatever.
But don't pitch this to otherpeople as I worked hard and like
I'm not saying people with moneydon't work hard, but I mean they
probably work a lot less hardthan people without it.
There was a couple,

Rebecca (36:34):
archetype, oh, sorry.
no.

Jamie (36:36):
couple that was like, our parents let us live in their
summer cottage and didn't haveto pay rent for the first five
years, so I just got to pay offmy student loans in two years.
Yeah, it's like that.

Rebecca (36:49):
the last one that.
I hate to see, but for differentreasons is the obituary, is the
LinkedIn obituary and it'ssomebody who has died and it's
like our colleague Susan, hasunfortunately passed away.
And then everything in that obitis just about who they were as a

(37:10):
worker, her, and nothing aboutwhat a great per, and it's like
basically this is how much moneySusan brought in and she was the
go-getter.

Jamie (37:19):
She was

Rebecca (37:20):
And and it's I never wanna see, I never want to be
remembered for just who I was tomy job.
I think that was so soulcrushing.
And

Jamie (37:29):
That's awful.

Rebecca (37:30):
I, yeah, I don't wanna be remembered on LinkedIn and if
anyone ever does that to me, Iwill fucking ho the shit out of
you.

Jamie (37:37):
LinkedIn post for you.
I'm ready.
I'll just post the slideshowthat I show at your funeral

Rebecca (37:41):
yeah.

Jamie (37:42):
and it'll literally just be like audio and like video and
screenshots of texts whereyou're literally just saying
everything that you wanna say.
fuck you Robert.
I'll do a fuck you, Robert, postfor you when you die.
Okay.
On LinkedIn.

Rebecca (37:57):
that's true.
Yeah.
And then you can just,'causeagain, I will be my whole self
when I'm dead.
That's fine.
but that's what I mean.
I

Jamie (38:02):
I'll finally be like my whole true self when I'm dead.
That's so awful.

Rebecca (38:08):
I don't wanna be so much on LinkedIn and I don't
want to give away so much of mypersonage that, or my personhood
or whatever the word is.
that's how people remember me.
and she was a brilliant part ofthis community.
no.
I don't want that.
I don't.
And I think that's what I mean.
It's I wanna know, I want you toknow what I can do
professionally.
I don't want you to knowanything else about my life at

(38:30):
all.
Period.
Here's what I bring to the tablefor you as a hiring manager.
The end.
The end.
And that's how it should betreated.
And now it has become a way tomake money.
It has become a way to influenceand it has lost the purpose,
which is networking and alsofinding your ex-boyfriend and
trying to figure out how much hemakes and then figuring out how

(38:53):
much more you make than he does.

Jamie (38:56):
So even at the same time, Rebecca,

Rebecca (38:59):
I make four times more just FYI.

Jamie (39:04):
but at the same time,

Rebecca (39:06):
'cause he's a government employee and his,
salary is online.

Jamie (39:09):
that's also spending energy on these people.

Rebecca (39:14):
It's so worth it.
I laughed so fucking hard.
I almost threw up.

Jamie (39:17):
fuels her.

Rebecca (39:20):
Yeah, I almost threw up from laughing So hard.

Jamie (39:22):
were like cackling.
You're like, ha takes off on abroomstick, this bitch, which,
with her jelly shoe, Oh, ha.
Finding your ex.
I'm dead.
She says.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's Rebecca.
that's our Rebecca.

Rebecca (39:42):
you just have to do that.
Have you curated like yourLinkedIn profile picture?
Like how much thought did youput into your LinkedIn profile
picture though?

Jamie (39:49):
I don't have professional headshot that I like.
I guess I do have some from SLH.

Rebecca (39:55):
Yeah.
the one with our hands.
that one with the pose.
Do you remember?
They like, she posed us weird

Jamie (40:01):
I don't remember.

Rebecca (40:02):
the weird hand stuff.

Jamie (40:04):
I think, what did I get to do?
Oh, I was like, can I do a funone?
I did one where I'm I'm notgonna use it.
Obviously I just wanted it forfun.
And I think right at that time,like Max walked by or something
and he was like, yeah, that'sJamie just walked by.
He was like, that's about right.
That's about right.

Rebecca (40:22):
Mine is a screenshot from this fucking podcast.
that's how much, because I also,I just was like, eh, yank.
And that was good enough for me.

Jamie (40:29):
yeah, I don't have any professional looking.
Maybe I should put my podcastone on there or something like,
'cause I don't have anyprofessional looking ones.

Rebecca (40:36):
don't either.

Jamie (40:37):
I just figure put the one with the, my brightest pinkest
hair and maybe that will be a

Rebecca (40:43):
'cause that's the other thing, people are gonna be
looking at that, so it's I haveto look clothed enough so you're
not like, why is your ass onLinkedIn?
And I need to look like, okay.
Enough that I look professional,but not like I have a stick on
my, it's so weird.
Like it's it that's something Ireally, go ahead, sorry.

Jamie (41:00):
no, go ahead.
That's something you really,

Rebecca (41:02):
No, I should say that's something I put more thought
into than I wanted to.
Like talking about my job isfine, but then the profile
picture, and I guess just after40 years of sexism, that kind of
mess with me.
It's like black and white.
It is.

Jamie (41:13):
Yeah.
That's fair.

Rebecca (41:16):
They don't need to know anything else.
Black and white.
That's all they get.

Jamie (41:21):
I don't, yeah, I don't think I like spend a lot of time
on mine.
I think I've, in my wholecareer, I've probably changed it
like three times, maybe four.
But I'm not super,

Rebecca (41:34):
just gonna,

Jamie (41:36):
what are you doing?

Rebecca (41:38):
I'm gonna go to that forum.
so it's, there's a subreddit.
I'm gonna put it in thecomments.
It's for insufferable LinkedIncontent

Jamie (41:45):
yeah.

Rebecca (41:46):
and it is maybe my most favorite subreddit I've ever
seen.
we'll add it to the show notes.
It is so fucking funny.

Jamie (41:56):
that's what I was looking, that's where I found
some of those posts that I putin Discord.
it is funny.
It's pretty, pretty unhinged.

Rebecca (42:05):
Fuck yeah.

Jamie (42:06):
We should do like an

Rebecca (42:07):
get tested.
if you are a mental health orpsychological therapist and your
IQ is below 1 25, considerpursuing another profession.
that's fucking crazy.
That's a crazy thing.
That's a crazy thing to put.
That's a crazy thing to put onLinkedIn.

Jamie (42:20):
that's like something you like text your bestie or
something.
You're like so and so doesn'teven have Yeah.

Rebecca (42:24):
Oh, the biggest thing though that happened is remember
that couple who was at theColdplay concert, they were
having an affair

Jamie (42:30):
yeah.

Rebecca (42:31):
and they found him immediately on LinkedIn.
Oh

Jamie (42:35):
Yeah.

Rebecca (42:36):
God.

Jamie (42:37):
That's

Rebecca (42:37):
Yeah.
I just.

Jamie (42:38):
yeah.

Rebecca (42:41):
I peed the bed on my honeymoon.
Not exactly what of my proud,that's why Is that on LinkedIn?
Why?
Why is

Jamie (42:47):
Here are the five marketing strategies I learned
from peeing the bed on myhoneymoon.
Like, why are these a thingpeople stop.

Rebecca (42:58):
Here's my favorite.
Nobody LinkedIn influencers.
Yesterday I was walking to aninterview.
There was a starving dog on theroad, and I stopped to feed him
and miss the interview.
The next day I got a call askingto come in to do the interview.
I was surprised that I went.
Then the interviewer came in.
He was the dog,

Jamie (43:13):
I saw that one.
That's why I was

Rebecca (43:16):
that's exactly,

Jamie (43:17):
I saw that one, the person conducting my interview
was the dog.

Rebecca (43:23):
yeah.
Yeah.
The biggest productivity unlockI found in the last six months,
two hours every day with aphone.
With no phone, do not disturb,sign on the door, no bathroom
breaks.
What.

Jamie (43:36):
what?

Rebecca (43:37):
That's fucking crazy.
That's fucking crazy.
Ozzy Osborne passed away.
Here are the five things Ozzytaught me about startups in
life.
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
Oh, here's the end of the bedpier.
If you can survive peeing thebed on your honeymoon, you can
survive anything business throwsat you.

Jamie (43:56):
Is that a real post?

Rebecca (43:57):
wife, yes.
If I was his wife, I woulddivorce him.
Actually, we wouldn't even bemarried that much because if my
husband peed the bed on herhoneymoon, that would

Jamie (44:07):
You would be like, fuck you Robert.

Rebecca (44:10):
pretty much.

Jamie (44:11):
you Robert.
Fuck you Robert.
Speaking of Rob.
Hi Rob.
Look at Miss Thing over herewith her Harlett red lipstick.
You love it.

Rebecca (44:20):
Oh shit.
It's a great subreddit though.
it really is.
It really is.

Jamie (44:25):
if you guys come across any of these like insane
unhinged, fucked up LinkedInposters or have stories like
please share them with us inDiscord, please,

Rebecca (44:36):
Oh my God.
There's a LinkedIn lunaticsDiscord.

Jamie (44:40):
Ooh.

Rebecca (44:41):
That's amazing.

Jamie (44:43):
We should just join as the burnout collective, and then
Ooh, actually, maybe we can

Rebecca (44:49):
had a company buy a 91.
No, Jamie, this is so good.
We had a com.
Our company bought a 91-year-oldemployee Lexus.
They walked him in and the carwas there with a big red bow on
it.
Completely surprised he wept.
Then the owners of the companywept, and then maybe some of us
did too.
This is why we come to work torepresent our great brand.
Okay, so let's fucking breakthat down.
Why are you still working at 91years old?
Really?

(45:09):
What the fuck is he gonna dowith Alexis?
Number two, that poor man shouldbe retired and he's crying'cause
he's still having to fuckingwork.
That's why

Jamie (45:17):
because he's I shouldn't be driving right now.
I shouldn't drive anymore.
I'm too old.

Rebecca (45:21):
can't, I actually can't drive.

Jamie (45:23):
have cataracts.
vision's just worse.
It's really hard to see atnight.

Rebecca (45:30):
My wife died in the car as we were driving home from a
restaurant one night.
I just really shouldn't bedriving.

Jamie (45:36):
What the fuck.
But then it's a murder mystery.
Just kidding.
And it's true crime.

Rebecca (45:44):
up.
This is what I mean.
And people think we're supposedto be like, oh my God, what a
great person.
And really I'm like, you're afucking psychopath and I never
wanna work with you ever in mylife.

Jamie (45:55):
Oh my God.
I appreciate the people thatlike poke fun and do posts like
mocking this shit like satire.
I do appreciate that though.

Rebecca (46:04):
Do you find work enemies on LinkedIn to see like
what the recommendations, likewhat the recommendations are or
like what people have said?
I love to do that.
Like

Jamie (46:14):
sure you do.
Yes.

Rebecca (46:18):
Mostly men who don't do their work and make me do their
work.
I like to go in and just seewhat people have said about them
and like, how fucking great theywere to work with.
That is my favorite thing.
oh, he was so good to work with.
He's so smart and brilliant.
He's such a great editor.
no, he's talking now.
He's terrible to work with and Ihate him.
I can't stand him.

Jamie (46:36):
hmm.

Rebecca (46:38):
What are what?
What are these recommendations?
that's the one thing I lovedoing on LinkedIn.
That has nothing to do withanything, but you know,

Jamie (46:47):
Like shaming all these people for doing things that
like has nothing to do withLinkedIn.
You're still doing it.
You're just doing it quietly,like behind closed

Rebecca (46:55):
I'm not, right.
I'm not, that's the difference.
I'm not posting about it and I'mnot telling anyone that I did
it.
That's the difference

Jamie (47:01):
Except all of our listeners, Rebecca.

Rebecca (47:03):
except for all three of our listeners right now.
All three of you now know how Iuse LinkedIn.

Jamie (47:14):
Oh my God.

Rebecca (47:15):
Oh shit.

Jamie (47:16):
are there any other good LinkedIn stories we should read?

Rebecca (47:19):
Yeah.
Here's one thing that pisses meoff.
The ability to put parentingbreaks on LinkedIn that really
fucking pisses me off.
I understand why it's there,especially as a woman, but it
angers me that I've never seenany man, have a parenting break
on LinkedIn and it's only beenwomen that really makes me mad.

Jamie (47:36):
Yeah.

Rebecca (47:39):
I know there's nothing I can do about it, and that's
just me bitching and moaning,patriarch and capitalism.
But I really fucking hate thatfeature, because it's used
mostly by women.

Jamie (47:49):
Oh my gosh.

Rebecca (47:54):
Where did you go?
What are you looking at?

Jamie (47:56):
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was just looking at Reddit.

Rebecca (48:00):
It's great, right?
Ozzy Osborne died, and here'swhat I learned about B2B sales.
What?

Jamie (48:05):
Oh, thank you.
And that's why Hika posts onLinkedIn are good because she,
she mocks, she kinda, I thinkshe mocks, but like she does so
in a tasteful way, but she'sstill poking fun and doing like
satire of that kind of shit.
But she also then gives yousomething that's that's useful
and that's helpful.
yeah, I get that.
I don't get, I almost drowned inHawaii on family vacation.

(48:32):
Here's what that taught me aboutbeing a leader.
oh my God, we could come up withso many of these, like LinkedIn
influencer headlines.

Rebecca (48:44):
Oh God.
How I peed the bed on myhoneymoon taught me about

Jamie (48:47):
Episode title

Rebecca (48:48):
business.
God,

Jamie (48:50):
episode.
Oh my God.

Rebecca (48:51):
don't pee the bed on your honeymoon.
I'm taking my entire team toBali in two weeks, and if you're
not going, your life fuckingsucks.

Jamie (48:58):
Oh my God.
What?

Rebecca (49:01):
W one over the past year.
The proudest thing I've builthas been my team.
We're crushers.
We've studied at Harvard,Oxford, Princeton, Dartmouth,
Stanford and Ashoka we'retalented.
We've worked at BCG, Bain,Bridgewater and McKinsey we're
also nice.
really nice.
If you have to say you're a niceguy, you're not actually a

Jamie (49:16):
Especially after you say you're nice.
really nice.

Rebecca (49:18):
Uhhuh.

Jamie (49:19):
yo, I'll tell you what I want.

Rebecca (49:22):
All 80 of us are going to Bali and that's a gang.
Just FYI.
That's a gang.
Four days of exploring, walkingin a monkey forest.
I hope they get shit on andstaring, whistling to endless
rivers of rice patties.
Oh, okay.
Great.
Wanna go join us?
I'm hiring right now in ourfounder's office.
I hope monkeys throw poop athim.
I really do.

Jamie (49:43):
Oh my God.
This post is Waymo is a gamechanger for working.
Parents need to trade off babyduty between meetings.
Just buckle them into a Waymoand send them safely to your
partner across town.
is serious.
This kind of flexibility wasunthinkable until now.
So grateful for this technology.

(50:04):
It's a picture by the way.
I'll link to this here.
Let me link to this pose.
It's a picture of a Waymo withjust a baby in the back, dude.
Oh my God.

Rebecca (50:17):
Oh my.

Jamie (50:19):
does this,

Rebecca (50:19):
guy posted about his wife suicide and just from
reading this, if I was his wife,I would also kill myself.
Just saying, I get it.

Jamie (50:27):
God.

Rebecca (50:28):
I get it.
I wish she would do that.

Jamie (50:31):
Does that work?
Can you guys access that?
That's hilarious.

Rebecca (50:34):
Also, have you seen the people who post emojis next to
their names like an eagle and aflag?
Have you seen like the CEOs whohave like eagles and flags next
to their name?

Jamie (50:42):
I'm still waiting for that, TikTok of myself with my
eagle.

Rebecca (50:46):
Yeah.
No, sorry.

Jamie (50:49):
That's okay.

Rebecca (50:49):
You can just wait.
You can wait for a while.

Jamie (50:54):
That's

Rebecca (50:55):
It's just, I don't know.
Here's one.
Here's one confession.
I'm six feet tall.
But then it's just her lookinginsanely hot.
come on.

Jamie (51:03):
I'm six feet tall.
That's all it says.

Rebecca (51:06):
oh no.
Every time someone meets me,they're shocked.
Maybe I give petite internetenergy, but I'm actually blessed
with takeover the room.
Tall energy.
Since my work is mostly virtual,it almost never comes up.
That's like saying, I have bigjuicy naturals.
I have been blessed, and everytime any coworker meets me, what
the fuck?
Why?
Why are you putting that on theinternet?
My dude?

Jamie (51:28):
Oh

Rebecca (51:28):
How tall are you?
Does it impact your work at all?
That is so stupid.
That

Jamie (51:34):
Wait, did someone comment that or are you saying that?

Rebecca (51:37):
No, that's what she put in the end of her post.

Jamie (51:39):
Oh,

Rebecca (51:42):
How tall are you?
Does it impact your work at all?

Jamie (51:47):
oh my God.

Rebecca (51:49):
God, I hate

Jamie (51:50):
Oh, I just came

Rebecca (51:51):
You know what?
Maybe this is us.
Maybe this is how it should be,and this is just us.
And the lesson that we need tolearn here is that it's time for
us to fucking get off theinternet.
Maybe.
Maybe.

Jamie (52:01):
had an interview with an AI recruiter.

Rebecca (52:05):
Yeah.

Jamie (52:06):
I think, I don't know.
yeah, if I need a job, I need ajob, but if somebody was like,
our AI is gonna interview you, Iwould probably be like,
actually, no

Rebecca (52:17):
Our AI is gonna interview and take your baby to
your husband across town.
God,

Jamie (52:25):
safely.
In

Rebecca (52:28):
if labor introduces a wealth tax, I'm leaving for
Dubai with many of my othermillionaire friends.
I hate everybody.
I hate everyone.
Okay, I'm, I have to stop.
I have to get off this because Ican feel my blood pressure her.

Jamie (52:50):
Okay,

Rebecca (52:50):
And anyone who posts remote work is a scam.
Go to hell.

Jamie (52:54):
here's, I'll do this last one.

Rebecca (52:56):
Please

Jamie (52:57):
I said no to another candidate today.
That's 27 nos in a roll row forthis role.
Jesus Christ.
And today I started to questioneverything.
Am I being impossible?
Chasing some mythical perfectperson who doesn't exist holding
the bar so high, I am hurting myteam.
Yes, the answer's yes.

Rebecca (53:15):
Uhhuh,

Jamie (53:15):
This role has

Rebecca (53:16):
picky bitch.

Jamie (53:17):
this role has been open for months.
My team is stretched thin.
Back to school season is justaround the corner and we need to
fill this role.
But then tonight over dinner atthe office, we were telling
James how he's absolutelycrushing it.
He's inspiring others as anengineer with his customer
obsession, AI and AI enthusiasm.
AI enthusiast, there's a name toput on your resume, and speed at

(53:41):
which he ships.
He said, oh, so humble.
You guys inspire me.
You work your asses off.
You care so much.
You lead by example.
An employee did not say all ofthese things to you.
These are things that you'repulling out that you want people
to know about you.
And then you're, it's like thething where you're pretending
your kid said something.

(54:02):
you care so much, you lead byexample.
And frankly, it's the wholeteam.
Like I'm sitting across fromDaniel who is so damn passionate
every day.
How could I not show up that waytoo?
And it hit me.
I'm not being impossible.
I'm protecting something rare.
When you find people that care,it's worth waiting for, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'd rather keep the seat emptyand make my team fucking suffer.

(54:25):
we're still hiring if youthrive.

Rebecca (54:27):
may wait.
Hold on a minute.
Did she actually put and make myteam fucking suffer?

Jamie (54:31):
No, I said that.
No,

Rebecca (54:32):
Oh, okay.
I was just like, this is it.
I have a new enemy.
Okay.
I'm sorry.

Jamie (54:36):
I was

Rebecca (54:36):
I'm sorry.
'cause everything else soundedso fucking unhinged.
It makes sense that she wouldput that Jesus, sorry.
Sorry.

Jamie (54:44):
if you thrive in intensity, learn obsessively and
actually give a damn.
Maybe you're the yes.
I've been waiting for, if youknow someone like that, send
them my way.
Here's to hiring folks who raisethe bar with a unicorn emoji.
All right, we're done.
Let's just show you guys.
That's it.

Rebecca (55:06):
Wait.
I have one more.

Jamie (55:11):
That face.

Rebecca (55:15):
Tonight at the dinner table, I was engaging with my
15-year-old daughter Zara, onpossible careers, a very common
and regular discussion with myteenagers.
Out of nowhere.
She blurts.
I hope you never leave Mars,dad.
It's such a good company doingso many good things there, and
it seems like you have anamazing culture there.
She then reeled off all of ourMars associate resource groups

(55:37):
and the work they do, as well ascovering off several of our
local and global sustainabilityinitiatives.
I was floored.
I hadn't realized, A, howproudly I must talk about my
work at home, and B, how muchour focus on environment
sustainability and diversity andinclusion resonates with the
next generation.
You're reminding me again of howlucky I am to work for
principles led business thattruly believes the world we want

(55:59):
tomorrow starts with how we dobusiness today.

Jamie (56:04):
It's

Rebecca (56:05):
15-year-old fucking hates you and is going no
contact the second she leavesfor college.

Jamie (56:09):
Oh, I thought you were gonna say the second, like they
see that was posted on yourLinkedIn.

Rebecca (56:14):
No, she fucking hates your gut.
And what she actually says was,I don't wanna talk about my day,
dad.
Just bring me the fuck alone.
That's what she actually said.
Your 15-year-old daughter whofucking can't stand you.
'cause all you talk about iswork and you don't care how her
life is.

Jamie (56:26):
Oh my God.

Rebecca (56:31):
In short, if you're going to be on LinkedIn, be a
fucking menace.

Jamie (56:35):
But it's also okay not to be on LinkedIn.
Obviously people make thatchoice and I fucking get it.
but I do think that's ridiculousthat there are people out there
that believe that wouldn't hireanyone who didn't have a
LinkedIn or didn't have onefilled out that's fucking dog
shit.
And like you don't wanna workfor that person anyway.

Rebecca (56:54):
just keep it professional ish.
Like it can be fun.
Just professional ish.
Ish.
Just i'll, I will take ish atthis point, please.
Just ish.
This is why.
Yeah, no.
Ugh.

Jamie (57:08):
That's why we can't have nice things.

Rebecca (57:10):
This is why I can't have nice things, and this is
why everyone has crazy fuckingcoworkers like.
This is just basicallyeveryone's fucking crazy work
coworker in one, one spot.

Jamie (57:19):
Yeah.
God, I feel like there's so muchdata to be had about what people
post on LinkedIn, like whatpercentage

Rebecca (57:31):
Oh my God.
Like a word cloud.
Oh, I wonder if there is aLinkedIn word cloud.
Okay, hold on.

Jamie (57:35):
would be really cool.
We're nerds.
It's fine.

Rebecca (57:39):
Word clown.

Jamie (57:43):
Like you said a word clown.
I'm like, yeah, there's a lot ofthat.

Rebecca (57:47):
Oh, word clown.

Jamie (57:48):
Maybe that should be my title.
It's funny'cause I hate clowns.

Rebecca (57:53):
no there's not, but alright, so most common things
said on LinkedIn.
Nope.
Okay.
Nevermind.
It's just coming up as marketingand like how tos.

Jamie (58:08):
Oh, you have time.
We're doing an ad right now.
So you have a minute and a half.
Go ahead.
You're still

Rebecca (58:13):
Oh no, I mean, really it's just like the most annoying
things said on LinkedIn and howto avoid it and what to post on
LinkedIn.
Oh, okay.
I hate everybody.

Jamie (58:25):
Did you see this post that's just all about oat milk?

Rebecca (58:30):
No,

Jamie (58:33):
There's nothing like inherently like wrong with the
post, but it's like what?
I'll, it starts, I'll neverdrink.
I'll never drink oat milk again.
Yeah.
It's like it spiked my glucoseand it made me crash.
Since then, I've switched tounsweetened almond milk.

Rebecca (58:54):
That is Twitter, that is Facebook.
That is not linked in content.
That's like the text your auntsends you.

Jamie (59:00):
It ends with just anyone else experience this with oat
milk?
Oh, and then a picture of herwith a mug, like a selfie
folding up a mug and smiling.
I love this.
I'm having a good time.

(59:20):
Rebecca is not, Rebecca is nothaving a good time.

Rebecca (59:26):
I just wanna know, you've been looking for a job
for how long now?
Right,

Jamie (59:31):
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca (59:32):
and these people are employed and it just makes me
question everything.

Jamie (59:37):
Fire them all.

Rebecca (59:40):
Buy them, like, why are they employed?

Jamie (59:43):
Yeah.

Rebecca (59:43):
Clearly there are better choices out there anyway,
I.

Jamie (59:50):
Yeah.
this was another good episodeabout things we hate tune in
next week for more things wehate.

Rebecca (59:59):
I just, I don't know.
We were supposed to talk aboutsomething else, but then then we
saw something crazy on LinkedIn.
I was like, yes, we

Jamie (01:00:05):
I, I baited you with this and you were like, oh, I could
be

Rebecca (01:00:07):
you did bait me to the point where I immediately dug
through years worth of textmessages between you and myself
to find those screenshots fromthree years ago with

Jamie (01:00:18):
I didn't even ask.
I didn't even ask for them, youguys.
I was like, oh yeah, I rememberthat.
And she's I have thescreenshots.
And I was like, no, I rememberit.
It's fine.
And she was like, let me sendyou the screenshots.
And it was like 10 screenshots.

Rebecca (01:00:33):
But they're so fucking good.
They're so

Jamie (01:00:35):
we're unhinged, but at least we're unhinged off of
LinkedIn.
Okay.

Rebecca (01:00:40):
Yes, we can be our whole selves when we're dead.

Jamie (01:00:46):
That's Rebecca's

Rebecca (01:00:47):
on LinkedIn.
I'm just saying.

Jamie (01:00:49):
no, when you're dead it is gonna be on LinkedIn is the
thing.
Just as I'll ask fuck you toRobert.

Rebecca (01:00:57):
bug.
You, Robert, God who says Jesus.

Jamie (01:01:00):
yeah.

Rebecca (01:01:01):
Anyway, we will let you guys know about our upcoming
schedule.
we have a couple of guests inthe hopper who we're hoping to
bring on, nothing concrete yet.
we're gonna circle back and puta pin in that and take it
offline.

Jamie (01:01:14):
No one has actually ever said to me in the hopper, so I'm
thankful.

Rebecca (01:01:20):
God,

Jamie (01:01:20):
Or I was thankful, Rebecca.

Rebecca (01:01:22):
need more of a,

Jamie (01:01:22):
thankful.
I'm

Rebecca (01:01:23):
need more vacation these two fucking days.

Jamie (01:01:26):
Yeah, you're working on it, baby.
Baby steps.
Rebecca, baby steps.
Yeah.

Rebecca (01:01:30):
Yeah, we're working on it.
Okay.
But yeah, we'll let you guysknow.
thank you for joining us onceagain.
we really appreciate it.

Jamie (01:01:37):
Thanks for being here.
also, yeah, we'll let you know.
You know when Mars is gonna comeon once we reschedule with them.

Rebecca (01:01:45):
and please post any crazy LinkedIn post that you've
seen in the Discord.
Please do.
Please share with us.

Jamie (01:01:51):
It doesn't have to be LinkedIn.
You can post any me, me want.
We love memes.
But for this episode, yeah, wewould love to see

Rebecca (01:01:58):
but people you actually know crashing out and posting
crazy shit.
Please show us.
We wanna see this too.
We wanna see it.
Just show us.

Jamie (01:02:08):
but it's mostly

Rebecca (01:02:09):
That's all.
Go away now.

Jamie (01:02:14):
All right.
Linked out.
Sorry.
I wanted to say that at the end.
I know.
I hate it.
I just was feeling like a dad.

Rebecca (01:02:22):
so much.
We'll talk to you guys nextweek.
See you next Thursday.

Jamie (01:02:26):
Thanks for being here, guys.
See you next week.

Rebecca (01:02:31):
Okay, bye.

Jamie (01:02:32):
Bye.