Listen, I have a lizard and zero boundaries

PSA: Rebecca took a Lorazepam before the show. Then, we all found out about frolfing (it doesn't mean what you think it means! we swear!). Here we go.

Adult friendships are hard. You know, like how the hell do you even make friends as an adult in the first place? Where do you find these people? And how do you keep up with each other? 

From awkward social encounters to long-time internet friends, we cover all the different "friend tiers" (spoiler alert: there's a lot). We also share a lot of our own personal stories, including Jamie's Fight Club friend, Rebecca's hatred of anyone named Todd, and even the knock out, drag out fight we had with each other.

And don't worry, Burnouts—our episode on enemies is TBA.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Our Listen Notes interview 
• That Chapter Podcast (Love you too, Mike.)
• That Chapter insurance dance 
• Child snatcher scene from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Have a suggestion for our next episode? A burnout story to share? Send us a text!

Support the show

The Burnout Collective Podcast is hosted by Jamie Young and Rebecca McCracken. We’ve had every ounce of inspiration sucked out by years of startups and hustle culture, and we’re trying to reclaim our creativity. Join us and our guests as we explore how to restart and reenergize our brains. Every Thursday at 5pm PT, we stream live on twitch.tv/TheBurnoutCollective.

Join our Discord community: discord.gg/ZwBjbmVfAF
Follow us on Twitch and Subscribe: twitch.tv/theburnoutcollective
Follow us on our socials: linktr.ee/burnoutcollective

Music track: Snap Your Fingers by Aylex
Source: https://freetouse.com/music

Episode Transcript

Jamie (00:00):
I asked a lot of questions in a work meeting and

(00:02):
you were like,

Rebecca (00:04):
That bitch.

Jamie (00:04):
bet she's a, I bet she's a pain in the ass that I need to
get to know.

Rebecca (00:09):
A hundred percent.

Jamie (00:10):
and you're so glad you did.
I am Jamie.
And I'm Rebecca.
Welcome to the BurnoutCollective.
We did an interview.

Rebecca (00:23):
We did an interview.
it was amazing.
Was it with listen notes?
Listen notes.

Jamie (00:32):
Listen, we stayed up late working on this interview.

Rebecca (00:35):
we did, they, they interview only the most unhinged
of podcasters and ours wasaccepted and,

Jamie (00:42):
It's an exclusive.
They're the only ones who'vebeen able to interview the
burnout Collective.

Rebecca (00:48):
yeah.
they talked about our, we talkedabout our creative with them
starting up from scratch.
our tale, our origin story.
And it was a lot of fun.
I really enjoyed it.

Jamie (01:00):
Yeah, we did an interview, read it.
it's actually pretty, I feellike it's actually pretty
serious for us, so,

Rebecca (01:08):
we did a really good job not being dicks,

Jamie (01:11):
mean, well, I don't think we actually get to talk, like
you and I know exactly why westarted this and how we feel
about it and how important it isto us.
But I feel like a lot of people,especially like new listeners,
probably just think we're, we'rehere for comic relief and dark

(01:32):
humor and making fun of ourmental illnesses, which is also
true, but, it means a lot to us.

Rebecca (01:42):
Oh, Elyssa's back by the way, Elyssa's

Jamie (01:44):
oh yeah.

Rebecca (01:45):
So Elyssa's over at the, world Builders Book Club.
she took a little bit break, butshe's back.

Jamie (01:50):
Every, what is it?
10:00 AM Pacific.
Every Sunday.
Please go.
We call it church.
We call it church with Elyssa,but please go hang out Elyssa.
she's reading and learning andfucking educating the masses.
just

Rebecca (02:10):
Being a good person, but like in a way that
legitimately, genuinely makesyou wanna be a good person and
doesn't make you feel likethey're putting on a front.
She's just good.

Jamie (02:20):
She's the type of person that you think, there aren't any
people like that in the world

Rebecca (02:25):
Yes.

Jamie (02:26):
but we love her so much.
She's amazing.
Please go check her out.
Please follow her, give hersupport.
Like she, she deserves so manyviewers and she deserves like
such a bigger audience becausewhat she has to say is actually
important.
So, is that it?
Yeah.
Oh, you, you know, follow us onthe Discord, the discard as

(02:47):
Rebecca likes to say.
Um, and

Rebecca (02:52):
listen.
Rate and review on your podcastat Please wherever you find us.
us a cunt yet in the comments,so you could be the

Jamie (03:00):
You could be first.
You could be the first.
anyway, today we're here to talkabout friendship.

Rebecca (03:09):
Yes.

Jamie (03:11):
yeah.
So this started with us talkingabout like friend breakups,
especially like as an adult.
And it turned into just like thewider idea of making friends as
an adult and like how hard thatis to do.
But then we started talkingabout like the different tiers
of friendship and, I don't evenknow where to begin with this
one.

Rebecca (03:31):
I think media ruined the concept of adult friends for
a lot of us.
Friends where everyone just hungout together as roommates.
It was just like we're friendsall the time and we do things
all the time and we're alwaystogether.
When in reality do you know howfucking hard it is to make
friends with people you don'twork with?
'cause you don't have timeanywhere else.

Jamie (03:49):
we were lucky, like.

Rebecca (03:52):
Mm-hmm.

Jamie (03:53):
I asked a lot of questions in a work meeting and
you were like,

Rebecca (03:56):
That bitch.

Jamie (03:57):
bet she's a, I bet she's a pain in the ass that I need to
get to know.

Rebecca (04:02):
A hundred percent.

Jamie (04:03):
and you're so glad you did.

Rebecca (04:05):
Yeah.
No, it's, it is, it's legit.
Especially if you were one ofthose kids who was awkward or ha
undiagnosed autistic who reallycouldn't make friends as a kid,
and so you kind of struggledthere as an adult.
It's even harder to the pointwhere I just go, actually, I'll
just read you an actual email Isent to someone,

Jamie (04:28):
what?

Rebecca (04:29):
because I wanted to get dinner with them It says, hi, I
would like to grab a beverageslash food item one of these
weekends if you're open to it.
Here is my phone number.
making friends as adults isweird and stupid.
That was my message.
So I just say it out loud now.
I'm just like, this is awkwardand I feel weird about this
because it does, it feels weirdto, it's I would like to do a

Jamie (04:52):
Hey, I like hanging out with you.
Hey, I met you and you're prettycool and I would like to maybe
meet you again sometime.

Rebecca (04:59):
right.
I would like to hang out withyou outside of where we know,
but

Jamie (05:03):
Yeah.

Rebecca (05:03):
not like you see'em every day at school.
It's not like you see them everyday at work.
So.

Jamie (05:08):
has that ever backfired on you though?
Sorry?
let's say like a work friend,you know, where you're like, oh,
they seem pretty cool.
Let me, see if I can like, getthem to hang out outside of
work.
But they, you do hang outoutside of work and you realize
that they're like a narc or someshit, you know what I mean?

Rebecca (05:27):
Her actual name was Karen.

Jamie (05:29):
Here we go.

Rebecca (05:30):
She invited me over to her house for dinner.
It turned out that she was partof the

Jamie (05:39):
Cannibals.

Rebecca (05:40):
on and anointing oil

Jamie (05:43):
Oh, great.
Did they wanna pray over

Rebecca (05:45):
sh She did, she wanted,

Jamie (05:48):
did to me?

Rebecca (05:49):
yes.
So she wanted to anoint me andbless me, and I had to leave.
So, um, that wasn't, that wasn'ta good time.
I would call that a backfire.

Jamie (06:02):
Were you like, no.
And did you like run outscreaming?

Rebecca (06:06):
I did, there was another time I went out for
drinks with someone and we weresitting on the patio and we're
just having drinks and food andstuff, and then she just started
peeing,

Jamie (06:18):
I'm sorry, what?

Rebecca (06:20):
but then

Jamie (06:20):
Do you live in Los Angeles or do I live in Los
Angeles?

Rebecca (06:24):
we were just sitting and it was those, you know,
those chairs with the metalgrates through'em and we're just
sitting there and I'm like, do I

Jamie (06:30):
I mean, maybe that was really embarrassing for her.
Like maybe,

Rebecca (06:33):
Right.
But she's

Jamie (06:34):
maybe she saw the person that like murdered, her father
in front of her and she was,could be

Rebecca (06:44):
that's really, I didn't bring it up.
I wasn't like, Hey, it lookslike you're pissing your pants
right now.
I didn't say anything.
I

Jamie (06:50):
maybe

Rebecca (06:51):
I was like, should we get

Jamie (06:52):
if I just started If I just started peeing when we were
out, like to eat, what would yousay?
If it was me?

Rebecca (06:58):
for you, I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing?
Because I would hope you

Jamie (07:02):
now I feel worse about it now.
I'm never gonna pee in, like inmy chair out to eat with you in
public ever.
I'm too scared.

Rebecca (07:10):
I just, what do you, what do you do in that
situation?
I don't know.
It was weird.

Jamie (07:13):
wonder what that's like.
That's not, that's not a normalsituation.
Is there a twist to the story?
Was it a dog, Mina says,

Rebecca (07:21):
Nope.
It was just a very tiny littlegirl who's just having some
drinks and I don't know if shejust over drank and just was
like, this seems like a goodspot.
I don't know.

Jamie (07:31):
I have a story like that about somebody, but like I'm,
no, I'm not gonna tell it.
'cause I like this person.
I.
And I'm a good friend, Rebecca.

Rebecca (07:41):
Oh, okay.
Is it me?
But I've just called it as we'vegotten older, I've just, I've
literally called it bullyingpeople into friendship because

Jamie (07:48):
Yeah, that's what you did to me.

Rebecca (07:50):
No, I know.
And that's what I did.
I said, I want, we're going tobe friends now.
And that's just how I'veapproached adult friendships in
the workplace.
I go up and I said, Hey, we'regonna be friends.
It's worked pretty good so far.

Jamie (08:01):
But then have you ever had to do the like, Hey,
remember how I said we're gonnabe friends?
I changed my mind.
We're not gonna be friends.

Rebecca (08:09):
no.
'cause I don't talk to them.
There's a very clear it's veryclear when I wanna be friends
with someone and it takes a lotfor

Jamie (08:15):
No.
What?
Clear.
Very clear with you, with yourface, your little face.
No,

Rebecca (08:24):
yeah.
Um, so it's worked.

Jamie (08:28):
I mean, you got me like you're

Rebecca (08:30):
How about you

Jamie (08:31):
that.
You're done after that.

Rebecca (08:32):
and Elyssa and Michael?
Kind of,

Jamie (08:36):
And for me, and for us, we've worked remotely for so
long too that it's like,especially, especially for me as
like, um, you know, I, like, Ilive alone currently.
I don't live with my partner andit's just me here.
I work completely remotely.

(08:58):
even if I made friends at work,like nobody, even though I live
in a big city, like nobodyreally lives here at all.
and that's usually it whenyou're an adult.
I remember when I met Elyssa forthe first time at work, that's
actually how we bonded is shebrought up how hard it is to
make friends as an adult.
And I was like, you know,you're, you're fucking right.

(09:18):
And like back then I think wewere like, I was in my like mid
twenties, I think so where tomake friends.
Like I, but I think like mid tolate twenties was when I started
being like, I'm not gonna go outand party like I'm done.
I did that in my teens, I didthat throughout the majority of
my twenties.
I'm done.
So I think already I was like anold woman and I was like, I'm

(09:40):
gonna.
I'm gonna not do that.
So like, how the fuck am I gonnaget friends?

Rebecca (09:46):
I have all the friends I'll ever need.
Like that kind of situation, orit was just like, I'm not gonna
bother to make crus.

Jamie (09:52):
No, no, no, no.
I'm just saying like, that's whyit was hard for me because
that's why it was so hard.

Rebecca (10:00):
Yeah.
And again, when your entire lifeis devoted to 40 hours in a
week, and so is everyone else'sfinding time to do something
different or do somethingtogether, like where the fuck do
you find them?
Where the fuck are you supposedto find people?
I've found people in grocerystores.

(10:20):
I've made friends with someonein a grocery store.
She had a baby and the baby waswearing a little nerdy shirt and
I went up to the mom and waslike, I love your baby's outfit.
And then she and I became closefriends for 12 years.
That was just a weird one.

Jamie (10:32):
That's insane.
That's not even like you liketoday.
Would you ever go up to somebodyin the grocery store?

Rebecca (10:42):
it was a very specific like niche nerd shirt that I
knew was good, A good person

Jamie (10:48):
like, stay sexy, don't get murdered.
You were like, yes.

Rebecca (10:54):
no, it was Firefly.

Jamie (10:56):
Oh, nice.
Fuck yeah.
I would do the same then.
Okay.

Rebecca (10:59):
Right, right.
So that's why I was like, Ilove, I love her baby shirt.
so she was good people.

Jamie (11:06):
Yeah.

Rebecca (11:06):
But yeah, it's either you march up to them or you just
kind of go throughout your day.
And I.
You really, you really don't seeany other people, especially
working from

Jamie (11:18):
Oh yeah.
It's

Rebecca (11:20):
And the thing with work friends, work friends are also
like, there's a time where youaren't really sure if you're
work friend work friends arejust like kind of friends enough
to fuck you over later too,right?

Jamie (11:32):
yeah,

Rebecca (11:32):
of friends you have to kind of like just be chit chatty
with and careful with?
keep it surface

Jamie (11:36):
am, I'm too trusting of, I think once I've kind of like
let you into the fold a littlebit, I can be, I don't know.
Do you think I'm a good judge ofcharacter?
Looks like I am picky.

Rebecca (11:50):
Oh, but then also like the friends that you bring.
Okay, so then there's like thefriends from high school and
college too.
Like you guys all go yourseparate ways.
You all start your separatejobs.

Jamie (11:59):
you still friends with people from high school and
college?

Rebecca (12:04):
I'm friends with one and a half people from college,
no, one and a half people fromhigh school.
No one and a half friends inhigh school, that's it,

Jamie (12:12):
I am not friends with anyone from high school.
I maybe have, I have two friendsfrom college that I still talk
to

Rebecca (12:21):
Mm-hmm.

Jamie (12:22):
and I mean, see more often than any other college
friends, but like still, Iprobably see them like every
seven years or six years orsomething, maybe.

Rebecca (12:33):
Yeah.
And also does friendship count,if you aren't going to see them
again probably, but like youguys still follow each other on
social media and like every oncein a while, does that count

Jamie (12:40):
See that's,

Rebecca (12:41):
or is that just

Jamie (12:42):
that's one of the tiers,

Rebecca (12:44):
That's

Jamie (12:44):
because I have that too.
I think I am, I think I am onthat tier technically with, a
couple high school friends.
we haven't always followed eachother on social media, since
high school or anything.
But as we've grown up, I guessfound each other on social media
and followed.
So there's maybe two or threepeople, maybe from high school
tops that I might just like, butI don't even necessarily say

(13:09):
anything.
There's one person I'llsometimes comment on, but there
don't talk.
We're just like social mediapeople.
Social

Rebecca (13:17):
Yeah.

Jamie (13:18):
Social, social

Rebecca (13:19):
the friend Social Moss, he's actually junior high, so
it's been since I was 13.
I've known him, which is crazyto me.
And we talk regularly.

Jamie (13:29):
So we have like social media friends

Rebecca (13:33):
the majority of friends though I have an hour are from
work.

Jamie (13:36):
Yeah, same.
That's very true.
Work.
Or the internet, honestly, likemy closest group of friends is
probably from work.
And then I also have my closestgroup of friends that includes
Marina, from the internet.
But it also helped too, thatlike we met and we happened to

(13:57):
live near each other, so we gotto meet up like enough.

Rebecca (14:03):
Even it's just a couple times in person.
Although, hold on a minute, Ithought of a whole new tier that
we didn't even discuss.
So back in the live journalZynga days, when some of us were
blogging really hard, I stillhave friends that I talk to and
texts with.
I have never met in fuckingperson.
Ever.

Jamie (14:23):
I think IS

Rebecca (14:24):
them friends.

Jamie (14:25):
yeah.
Oh, I have friends that Ihaven't met.
Person that I consider friends,

Rebecca (14:29):
It's like pen pals, but ratcheted up.

Jamie (14:32):
Zynga was the hot topic version of Live Journal.
Meh.
Live, live journal was a veryhot topic.
Very, yeah.
There are, there are peoplelike, I think about from like,
from like my online past thatI'm like, oh, I wonder how that
person's doing.
I wonder how they turned outsince I hadn't haven't talked to
them since I was like a wee gothlast,

Rebecca (14:57):
Madeline was one of those, actually, I'm pretty
sure.
Madeline.

Jamie (15:02):
I thought you met her at work.

Rebecca (15:04):
Mm-hmm.

Jamie (15:05):
Oh, that's really

Rebecca (15:07):
No, I know, I think I've, was it her was, it was
either following her socialmedia or her blog.
I forget.
But that's how I found Madeline

Jamie (15:16):
That's awesome.

Rebecca (15:16):
with social media.
which is crazy.

Jamie (15:19):
Erica and I met in a sailor moon chat room when we
were 14, so I'm very sailorNeptune right now too.
Anyway, who else?
There's just a lot there.
there are a lot of people thatand we had met obviously, but so
we been friends and known eachother since was like over 25

(15:42):
years, which is really fuckinginsane.
there is something about like.

Rebecca (15:49):
Okay.

Jamie (15:49):
someone just knows so much about you, especially like
your past, and like a lot ofshit, it's crazy.
That's a long time to know

Rebecca (15:58):
Yeah.
Yeah.
My two best friends in highschool, we don't talk and like
one of'em was at my wedding, butwe don't talk anymore at all,
which is a bummer.
'cause it's like, it sucks tosee that, but it also sucks to
see him kind of turn nga.
so that's out

Jamie (16:16):
And there's that,

Rebecca (16:19):
Yeah.

Jamie (16:20):
that can bring us right into friend breakups.

Rebecca (16:24):
Fuck.
Are you, are you a, I wanna sitdown like a, have you actually
had to break up, break up with afriend and b, if you did, are
you a ghoster or are you justlike, let's fucking hash this
out and throw up about it andthen walk away?

Jamie (16:43):
I think my personality is one to talk about it and hash it
out and talk it out and thenwalk away, make the decision and
together and walk away.

Rebecca (16:56):
Mm-hmm.

Jamie (16:57):
But I've only had like kind of two friendship breakups
I guess in my life, as an adultand.
It's like ghosting.
It was kind.
Both were kind, kind of ghostingin a way.
which is not me.
so I do feel like I have someguilt about that.

(17:18):
But I also know that like I hadto walk away from situations
that were harmful, maybe noteven harmful toward me, but, not
allowing me to be who I am andlive my life, which sounds
insane, but I don't know.
I'm a Taurus, I'm super fuckingloyal, like to you.

(17:39):
So if we're friends, like I'malways a ride or die,

Rebecca (17:43):
Yep.
You're the first friend I'vehad.
You're the first friend I've hada knockout drag down fight with,
but like actually wanted to talkabout it.
If you were in a lower tier, Ijust would not have bothered and
would not have talked to you at

Jamie (17:57):
wait, hang on.
I want, I want you to telleverybody what tier friend I am.

Rebecca (18:03):
You are my, you are a pooping tier,

Jamie (18:05):
I'm the poop

Rebecca (18:05):
like the poop tier friend from either we're getting
ready in the same bathroom andsomeone has to take a shit and
or sharing a hotel room andsomeone has to take a shit.

Jamie (18:17):
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca (18:19):
You're the pooping friend

Jamie (18:20):
Oh, she'd poop in front of me.
She wouldn't poop.
Poop in front of her husband.
No,

Rebecca (18:24):
not

Jamie (18:25):
but me,

Rebecca (18:26):
ever,

Jamie (18:27):
sorry, Robert.

Rebecca (18:30):
he is really missing

Jamie (18:31):
I guess I just have that effect on people.

Rebecca (18:34):
No, but that, and it was weird too, be it was like,
'cause the other thing aboutadult friendships is that it
takes on, I mean, depending ontiers, but it takes on a level
of I don't wanna say marriagebecause that's not the right
word, but it's more intimatethan just

Jamie (18:47):
marriage, sorry.

Rebecca (18:49):
friends when you were little.
Right?
Like, you know, shit about meand I, we talk about things that
like you don't talk about withother people.
and so there's there's hurt whensomething happens and you have
to keep communicating and youhave to make sure the other
person understands Hey, I'm, Ijust can't do this right now.
But it's not perfect.
Like you just have to make surethat like you're keeping that
relationship alive and it takesa lot more effort and work than

(19:11):
it was when you were kids.
And that's something I've reallyhad to learn and work on as an
adult.

Jamie (19:19):
it's a lot of fucking work and I think that's why like
a lot of people, I think, findthemselves, me included, like
later on in their adult lifebeing like, I.
I finally feel like I have thisgroup of friends that I always
wanted, or this best that Ialways wanted that type of
relationship with, because wejust learn.

(19:39):
It's it's just like anyrelationship.
You know, when you first startdating, and having relationships
with people as a teenager or inyour twenties, I was like
despicable.
Like I didn't know what Iwanted.
I didn't know what I deserved.
I didn't know my worth when Iwas a teenager.
Like, please.
and you learn that.
You learn

Rebecca (19:58):
do you mean?

Jamie (19:59):
Oh, I'm just saying.
I was like, just a stupid, no,just like a stupid fucking
teenager.
In relationships

Rebecca (20:07):
Oh, okay.

Jamie (20:08):
were you not stupid in relationships as a teenager?

Rebecca (20:11):
no,'cause I, again, like I never was able to make
friends as a little kid.
And so I, like I had one friendand I clung really tightly to
her because like I would've

Jamie (20:19):
I, I'm talking about like dating.

Rebecca (20:22):
oh, I was a fucking cunt.

Jamie (20:24):
Okay.

Rebecca (20:26):
Sorry.
I thought we were talking about

Jamie (20:27):
No, that, yeah, that's what I was saying.

Rebecca (20:30):
My bad.

Jamie (20:31):
because, but you learn, we are talking about
friendships, but my example justthen was like dating.

Rebecca (20:36):
No, I got it.
I connected the lines.
I got it.

Jamie (20:38):
And so you learn just like we always talk about how
like we learned how to be goodfucking managers from a lot of
terrible managers from

Rebecca (20:50):
Yep.

Jamie (20:51):
Yeah.
we saw exactly what not to do.
We experienced for stand exactlywhat not to do.
And that's how we learned, to begood.
It's the same thing withrelationships.
Like you go through it, like youhave those experiences and
that's why I always say I don'thave any regrets.
I'm like, okay, you know, likethat relationship sucked, but
I'm glad I did it because like Idid get x, y, and Z out of it,

(21:14):
and I did learn this out of it.
Of course, I can't see that likeat the time when it's a breakup,
but yeah,

Rebecca (21:21):
Do you wanna, you wanna know my favorite friendship
breakup?

Jamie (21:24):
Go

Rebecca (21:25):
My friend Sarah was gonna get married to this piece
of shit, weasel named Todd.
'cause of course he was namedTodd.
And he was a Todd.
He was a Todd.
He would, um, actually her somuch every time we went over,
this bitch could not make eggsin front of him without getting
Unle right.
And she asked me to be in herwedding and I was like, oh,

Jamie (21:45):
And you were like, um, actually,

Rebecca (21:49):
then I forget how oh, I was right and whatever it
happened.
She like, she called me and shewas like, so what's the matter?
You just don't like him orsomething?
you don't want me to get marriedto him?
And I just told her, I was like,no, I think he treats you badly
and I think that he's not goodfor you and I think you're
really young and I think this isyour first boyfriend and um,

(22:12):
he's really mean to you.
And she kicked me out of thewedding.

Jamie (22:16):
of course.

Rebecca (22:18):
and then I never talked to her again.
And then three years later thephone rang and it was her and
she was like, so, um, actuallyTodd turned out to be a giant
fucking asshole and we'regetting a divorce.

Jamie (22:33):
We need I need a button on the stream deck.
Do you know, do you ever watchthat chapter podcast?

Rebecca (22:40):
It, this is not an I was right face.
This was like a, it's aboutfucking time you realize, and
I'm so glad you

Jamie (22:45):
Answer, answer the fucking question?
Do you, do you, have youlistened or watched any of that
chapter podcast?

Rebecca (22:52):
No.

Jamie (22:53):
Okay.
whenever they're telling liketrue crime stories about like
murder.
And they're like, oh, and guesswhat?
Like it's always guess whorecently took out an insurance
policy?
So he has, it's like a lifeinsurance dance years.
No, your is gonna be like, whenpeople come to you years later
and tell you that you were rightall along, because that is like

(23:13):
your favorite fucking thing inthe world.

Rebecca (23:15):
It is my favorite

Jamie (23:16):
at her thing.
Look how happy she is.
Look at her.
She's

Rebecca (23:19):
It is,

Jamie (23:20):
Glowing with just I'm rightness.

Rebecca (23:25):
was terrible.
He was terrible.
And I'm so glad.
And also he was Todd, so she'shappily married.
We'd never talk again, but likeI was okay letting

Jamie (23:33):
Oh, she called you once just to be like, I just want you
to know that's a, that's a good

Rebecca (23:40):
we should meet up again.
And I was like, no, I'm okay.
we don't have to.
Because I had known her, I hadalso known her for years and
years and years.
And if

Jamie (23:47):
probably like missed

Rebecca (23:48):
after years and years and years, I would miss

Jamie (23:51):
I don't always listen to you.

Rebecca (23:53):
it's fine though.

Jamie (23:55):
Okay.

Rebecca (23:56):
It's okay.
You're not getting married toTodd, so the bar is in hell at
that point for

Jamie (24:02):
you.
don't know.
Todd and I are getting marriedin a parking structure tomorrow,
so.

Rebecca (24:07):
I, if you saw Todd, you'd be like, anyway, but yeah,
so that's, so losing friendsover like a stance, like a moral
stance is another really bigone.
Like MAGA or

Jamie (24:21):
Oh

Rebecca (24:21):
know, Todd, That's a big

Jamie (24:24):
I didn't even think, we didn't even, like when we were
talking about doing thisepisode, we weren't even
thinking about like familybreakups over that same

Rebecca (24:34):
the, the pool is, the pool is so small.
The friendship pool as an adultis so small that like to lose
those friendship is like, goddammit, another one.

Jamie (24:41):
Yeah.
Especially when like, you'vevested time, you know, like I

Rebecca (24:46):
Mm-hmm.

Jamie (24:47):
feel like when you're a kid, like I bet we've had tons
of friendship breakups as kids,you know?

Rebecca (24:53):
there's a comedian I follow who's like, it's so easy
to make friends as a kid.
Like, you just go up and you'relike, Hey, I have a lizard in my
pocket.
Hey, I seen this cool rock.
Let's see.
Friends.

Jamie (25:02):
Rebecca, I told you cannot just go up to kids on the
playground and tell them youhave a fucking lizard in your
pocket.
I swear to

Rebecca (25:09):
a,

Jamie (25:10):
What a horrible example.
Why did you pick a lizard?

Rebecca (25:14):
That's her joke.
And she's like, that's howlittle kids make friends.
And it's true.
Like they just, they are friendsof a weird shit and no one
overthinks it.
And no one's like, well, who didyou vote for?
It's just here's some coolstuff.

Jamie (25:26):
That's how Rob and I became fr they became friends in
college and Marina's that's howyou were like, Hey, I have a,
such as a beer in my hand.
Oh, I thought it was gonna be asnake in Rob's boot.
You know what I mean?
If you know what I mean.
Um, manic.
If I didn't have marching bandas a crutch, I wouldn't have had
any friends at all.
I didn't have any dating as ateenager that I didn't have any

(25:48):
dating as a teenager though.
When do you all do the episodewhere Jamie's listens.
Okay.

Rebecca (25:57):
Yeah, marching band, was also a friendship, a
friendship and datingplayground.
I was also in

Jamie (26:04):
Hobby friendships.
Hobby friendships.
Right.

Rebecca (26:08):
no, it was incestuous as fuck.
everyone I dated, cheated on mewith my best friend of Marcy
Band.

Jamie (26:14):
Oh my God.
Fucking band nerds.
So, so

Rebecca (26:17):
I know.
And then you would just, it wasso incestuous that one of the
flag girls ended up marrying theband teacher.

Jamie (26:26):
I think you told me this a while ago.
Of course, of

Rebecca (26:30):
yeah.
So they were good friends.
but yeah, that was, that waskind of like where I, that was
the large pool of friends wasmarching band and band class
actually.

Jamie (26:41):
And didn't you

Rebecca (26:41):
And choir.

Jamie (26:42):
didn't you have a lot of friends from oh, A lot of
thespian friends.
'cause I never

Rebecca (26:47):
I was always in pit orchestra, but I was fr, I mean,
there's a lot of crossover.
I was friends with like the gaytheater guys.

Jamie (26:53):
never did theater and I never did band actually

Rebecca (26:57):
No, I did like pit orchestra for all the plays, and
I did choir and honor

Jamie (27:02):
in middle school or high school.
Did you ever play any likesports ever?
I did.

Rebecca (27:10):
I look like,

Jamie (27:11):
I was

Rebecca (27:12):
did you play soccer,

Jamie (27:13):
no, never.
No, I played basketball,volleyball.

Rebecca (27:22):
Ooh,

Jamie (27:23):
Maybe that was it.
And

Rebecca (27:24):
I bet you

Jamie (27:25):
I was a cheerleader in middle school and I think the
only reason I made thecheerleading squad was because
I'm so fucking loud.
And they were like, yes.
Like her voice carries.
This is perfect.
I was really loud.
I'm very

Rebecca (27:42):
I was gonna say it certainly wasn't because of your
positivity.

Jamie (27:45):
no.
And it was like, it was at thetime where I think I was like
just about to go into, go fromlike grade school, Jamie, into
whatever the hell I became inlike middle school.
So goth, punk, rebellious,always.

(28:06):
I guess always rebellious, but Idecided apparently to look the
part, I guess.
Um,

Rebecca (28:14):
I will need to see pictures of cheerleader Jamie
later.
Thank you.

Jamie (28:18):
I wish that I had decided to stick with it so that when I
shaved my head, I bet you theywouldn't, I bet you they would
not have let me go to games andcheer

Rebecca (28:31):
this is a bureaucracy and you are not allowed to.

Jamie (28:36):
but I'm, so, I like, I'm so good at volleyball and I love
volleyball.
I only played it freshman year.
I, so I played it all throughmiddle school.
That's the only thing I stuckwith all through middle school.
I played at freshman year ofhigh school, and then I just, I
gave up because I was like, Ifuck this place.
Like, I don't, I don't wannaspend any more time here than I
have to.
So I gave up that, but I scaredthe hell out of the girls on the

(29:00):
other, like Lutheran volleyball,Lutheran, high school, not high
school, Lutheran middle school,volleyball teams, all of the,
whispering and everything.
'cause like my head was shavedand I would yell service as
yeah, I'm like wearing fishnet.
No, I would yell service.
Like my coach actually would getirritated with me because I

(29:22):
would do it.
So obnoxiously on purpose.
It's like I'm going to war outhere.
like I wanna scare them.
So I would just yell, service asloud as possible and then
fucking spike the ball.
As hard as shit, I was reallygood.
I'm tall.
Fucking got that.

Rebecca (29:37):
So many things just clicked into place for me with
that.

Jamie (29:40):
What?

Rebecca (29:41):
That's just, that makes so much, you make a lot more
sense now, just

Jamie (29:47):
so glad

Rebecca (29:48):
that's interesting.
Yeah.
Sports, I think I see sportspeople are,

Jamie (29:52):
flag girls are

Rebecca (29:53):
oh,

Jamie (29:53):
their reputation.
Reputation there.
I was.
I was like on good terms, notlike friends, but I was on like
decent terms with everybodyexcept the assholes, which was
the majority, unfortunately.

Rebecca (30:11):
oh.
I was on such not good termswith most everyone.
I went to school with that, uh,junior year of high school.
a bunch of girls who I thoughthated me showed up on their
bikes outside.
They're like,

Jamie (30:26):
no,

Rebecca (30:28):
Vian really likes you, you get, he just, he just really
likes you and really wants todate you.
And like, he wants to ask youout.
What do you think?
And I was like, oh, okay.

Jamie (30:38):
I just hear like.
Warning, warning, like lightsare flashing.

Rebecca (30:43):
Mm-hmm.
Again, would like to point youto the undiagnosed portion of my
childhood.
And I was like, oh, okay.
And they're like, he's gonnacome tell you.
He came over and he's like.
So, I wanna date you and I thinkyou're really cute.
And can I give you a kiss?
And I was like, I guess.
And then he's like, Ew, gross.
I never kiss you.
And all those fucking girlspopped out and like, Ew, gross.

(31:05):
He never like you.

Jamie (31:06):
Dude, this is like,

Rebecca (31:07):
ran away on their bikes.

Jamie (31:08):
is like a nineties coming of age movie, like Rebecca.

Rebecca (31:14):
Yep.

Jamie (31:15):
Anyway, if we were friends, if we knew each other
back then and we were friends,like I would've beat the shit
out of them through you.

Rebecca (31:21):
thank you.
Thank you.
I, if this was any other show Iwould, or any other movie, I
would've become, what's her facefrom the craft, the scary one.
Far the

Jamie (31:31):
Oh yeah,

Rebecca (31:31):
I would've become her.

Jamie (31:33):
Nancy.

Rebecca (31:34):
I just didn't have access to any of that.
I would become Nancy, but Ididn't.
Now I just have rage.
but yeah, so like I,

Jamie (31:40):
cause we love Nancy.
We love Nancy.

Rebecca (31:44):
Yeah, so I took friends willingly, and a lot of times to
my disadvantage, I don't know,sorry,

Jamie (31:53):
I hate kids.
Kids are so mean.
Kids are so mean.
Dude, I didn't, I had forgottenabout it until I like went on
vacation with you and, your12-year-old was like talking
about all this stuff that washappening.
And I don't miss that.

(32:14):
I do not miss that.

Rebecca (32:17):
I so yeah.
So anyway, friends as adults,somehow fucking harder.
Somehow fucking harder.
And there's more tiers.
There's a ton more tiers.
We were talking too, again, likedepending on where you're in
life, so this won't apply toJamie, but moms of other kids.
You have this weird kind ofdeante sort of friendship where
like you kind of don't like eachother, but your friends are

(32:40):
kids.
So we're just like, Hey Susan.
She's Hey.
and she doesn't really comeinside your

Jamie (32:45):
are the girls

Rebecca (32:46):
you don't really wanna go inside her.
It's okay.
And then you say, we should getwine sometime.
And she goes, oh yeah.

Jamie (32:53):
Never.

Rebecca (32:54):
one says a time or a date or a place or when they're
available.

Jamie (32:57):
but you say it every time.

Rebecca (33:00):
In text message.
She's yeah, we should get winetime.
Yeah, totally.

Jamie (33:05):
That's also like an introvert tourist thing though.
Yeah.
We should totally go outside anddo things with people.
I.

Rebecca (33:15):
I think you know this story.
I did go for wine once with oneof the moms, and within a one
and a half hour period, Ilearned that her husband pees on
her in the shower.
And I learned about his crazyex-wife.
I learned that they weren'treally married.
She just wore like a weddingring, so it didn't seem like
shame.
And then she just told me aboutall his weird fetishes and like

Jamie (33:37):
Close Marina

Rebecca (33:38):
I was just like, oh.
Oh, okay.
And so then I said joking.
I was, if you're trying to getout of this, you know, do you
have cute feet?
We can just take pictures ofyour feet and start a website.
You know, like, get you somemoney that way.
And she was like, oh, you're sofunny.
I got a text message the nextday being like, Hey girl, LOL
had a great time at dinner,about starting that foot site.
I was like, Nope, nope,

Jamie (33:59):
No, no.

Rebecca (34:01):
nope,

Jamie (34:02):
You gotta stick with it if you're trying to monetize
your friends like you have to.

Rebecca (34:09):
No.
She brought too much crazy tothe table.
But that, so that's what I mean.
It's like, I just wanna see youon your front porch and then
wave.
I don't want to know whateverthing is

Jamie (34:17):
But most of the time you don't want to see anybody on any
front

Rebecca (34:21):
I don't wanna see

Jamie (34:22):
and you for sure don't wanna wave.

Rebecca (34:26):
Oh yeah, no, I, you just wanna like, call your kid.
You want your kid to be oldenough to just dial them from
the car and then they comeoutside.
That's that's the perfect age.
I think we're about a year awayfrom that.
And then you know how to dealwith moms anymore.
So.
Yeah.
So mom to your friends or likeperiphery friends?

Jamie (34:43):
Or like partners of friends that like, you don't
necessarily, like you weretalking about, Todd,

Rebecca (34:48):
Oh yeah.
Ugh, fucking Todd.
What shit we saw?
Yeah.

Jamie (34:54):
I guess I've actually had like three, three friend
breakups too, because Iunfortunately had that one that
I told you about with, my friendwhose boyfriend and baby daddy
was like abusive and physicallyabusive.
And, I like, again, ride or die,like I cared so much for her.

(35:17):
I even cared for her kids.
And this is when I was likeyoung.
I was like early twenties and

Rebecca (35:22):
friend.

Jamie (35:24):
yeah.
But it was just, I can only doso much until, and it's hard.
It was hard for me because I wasso young and I didn't have a lot
of experience with that sort ofthing.
I definitely wasn't mature'causeI was still, I was like 21,
probably 20, 21.
And I just got like way caughtup in it to the point where she

(35:45):
would leave me with her kids togo out and party and then like
her ex would come over.
Oh, I'm sorry.
No, she wanted me to go with her

Rebecca (35:54):
Oh

Jamie (35:54):
and leave her kids at home alone.
And they were like one and five.

Rebecca (35:59):
Jesus.

Jamie (36:01):
and I was like, I'm not gonna do that.

Rebecca (36:03):
No, you can't make me an accomplice

Jamie (36:05):
you like, imagine, fuck.
I'm like 20, 21 and I'm like,I'm gonna stay here and take
care of the kids.
this was before I even reallyliked kids.

Rebecca (36:13):
Right?

Jamie (36:14):
it was awful.
And so yeah, he came by and hewas like screaming and pounding
on windows and I was like, she'snot fucking here.
And that was like the momentthat like, everything came and
like, and I was just like, no,it all peaked.
And I was like, we're not like,I can't do this anymore.
Like I can't be your friendanymore.
But I did tell her, so I think Ibasically just texted her, maybe

(36:37):
left a voicemail and I was like,Nope, like this isn't gonna
happen.
I can't do this anymore.
I truly hope that you get out ofa relationship with him and do
something about it.
And if not, so I did leave and Iended up leaving the kids there,
but I knew.
I was a server for a long timeat different places and like I
knew the cops in the city verywell.

(37:00):
And so I had texted a cop friendand I was like, Hey, can you
like sit in front of Amanda'sapartment?
And like this is the deal andlike I just need to leave and
I'm done.
And they were like, yeah, sure.
So it's hard

Rebecca (37:17):
It's so hard too,'cause you're trying to be like the
emotional support system, right?
But then when it starts

Jamie (37:21):
and no one should live like that.
No one should have to go throughthat.
Like no one should, should becontinually abused and be abused
at all.
so that's what sucked is becauseI still like felt for her and
like her kids definitely.
'cause it's not their fuckingfault at all.
but yeah.

Rebecca (37:42):
My friends, my friend, who was, I had to break up with,
it wasn't violent like that, butshe would just list all the ways
that, like her husband was anasshole to her and like didn't
help with the kids, and justlike how bad he made her and
blah, blah, blah, blah.
And every time he'd be like, youknow, you can start over.
You have family.
She's like, well, he's rich andhis dad's gonna die.

(38:04):
I mean, you know, theinheritance.
And I'm like, is it worth that?
is it worth it?
And so I just couldn't listen tothe same bullshit over and over
again.
And finally it was just like,and I just stopped talking to
her because it was like, youjust want someone to bitch to,
you're not gonna do anythingabout it.
You're not gonna be proactive.
You're just gonna complain.
And, that's what a therapist isfor,

Jamie (38:27):
Yeah.
I was, I think I was too much oflike free therapy for friends
when I was that age.
Like a lot, like everybody cameto me with their shit and of
course I was like, yes, I wouldlike to help you.
Like sure,

Rebecca (38:42):
Yeah.
Just want, but you wanna be agood friend.
Like you wanna, you know.

Jamie (38:45):
yeah,

Rebecca (38:46):
But boundaries.

Jamie (38:47):
I'm just a good person.
I can't help it.
What,

Rebecca (38:52):
I'm a good person.

Jamie (38:53):
first of all, how dare you, first of all, how dare you?
yeah.
What else we were talking about?

Rebecca (39:00):
oh

Jamie (39:00):
Oh, the hobby friends, like, you know,

Rebecca (39:03):
Oh yeah.

Jamie (39:04):
friends that you like only do a certain thing with.
I had one example, the oneexample I thought of was, and
this isn't me, but was like, youknow, if you like Frisbee golf
with friends on the weekend, andRebecca's like, what?
She was like, nobody Frisbee,golfs,

Rebecca (39:19):
we call it froing.
Thank you so much.

Jamie (39:23):
no, no,

Rebecca (39:25):
It's froing.

Jamie (39:26):
no.

Rebecca (39:28):
Look it up

Jamie (39:29):
take that back right now.
Wait, is that a seriously athing that's happening?

Rebecca (39:33):
fro.

Jamie (39:33):
No.

Rebecca (39:35):
Okay.

Jamie (39:35):
Okay.
We're this conversation's over.
Don't like it, don't like itall.
but like friends, are you, areyou finding No.
Stop it.
Stop.
Google fooling.

Rebecca (39:48):
Oh, would you look at that?
There's a whole fucking

Jamie (39:50):
God.
What if I just like muted youright now?
It would've been better if Ididn't tell her.
but like friends, you go tofriends, you go to concerts with
like people that maybe ha havethe same music taste as you and
are like concert goers.
'cause not everybody is likes togo to shows or,

Rebecca (40:09):
it's also not just a sport, it's a lifestyle.

Jamie (40:12):
mods.
Could we, could we get that linkMoed please?
I don't think it's safe.
Nobody clicked that.
Nobody clicked that link.
Don't click that link.
That's so shady.
fro.com.
I'm not clicking it.
I won't.

Rebecca (40:25):
It sounds like a slur and I don't know what slur, but
it just sounds like a slur.
Do you know what I mean?

Jamie (40:29):
it sounds like some sort of weird kink

Rebecca (40:32):
Oh, oh, oh.
He frothed all over her chest.
Yeah, no, you're

Jamie (40:36):
that's exactly what I was, anyway.
It's porn probably.

Rebecca (40:41):
What about like self de do you have?
So there's the other tier.
The other tier I was thinkingabout that I didn't mention is
like the self-destructivefriends.
So like when Rob was goingthrough a divorce, he had this
friend who like, he would go toall these CO too.
They get go in the pit, theyjust get shitfaced and just beat
each other up.
And it was like, it wasdestructive.

(41:02):
It was like a destructivefriendship.
And they kind of like broughtout the worst in each other.

Jamie (41:08):
isn't that us?
I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding.

Rebecca (41:13):
No, I don't think so.

Jamie (41:17):
sometimes not the worst.
I don't think we bring out theworst, but we enable each other
a lot.

Rebecca (41:24):
Yeah, that's true.
But no, this is just sort oflike, like partner in crime, but
like actual crime.

Jamie (41:30):
Okay.
I mean, not crime, crime, but Iactually had a friend like that
in high school.
I don't even know why we did it.
I think we just wanted to letshit out.
But she ended up halfway throughhigh school, she ended up going
to a public school.
so she left our, private school.
And it was in the same citythough, so when I had, I had a

(41:53):
license and so me and my otherfriend would go visit her and
we'd pull up and park and juststart walking into her school.
Sometimes she would be likewalking out'cause we'd be
picking her up.
So sometimes she'd be walkingout and see me and we'd both
just start walking faster towardeach other.
And we'd both start likethrowing our book bags down and
everything.
And taking off jackets and liketaking off rings and putting

(42:15):
them in pockets.
And then we'd get into a littlelike fisticuffs.
'cause it felt good.

Rebecca (42:20):
gonna say it.
Like hug tightly, not beat theshit out of each

Jamie (42:23):
no.
We didn't beat the shit out ofeach other.
But whatever.
We're like, everybody thought wewere like, people were like
fight, fight, fight.
And it's like we were friends,we were really good friends, but
like we both kind of just neededthat little, I don't know.
And we would do that like almostevery time we saw each other at
the beginning.

Rebecca (42:44):
I have more questions and I'll take off air

Jamie (42:46):
Okay.

Rebecca (42:47):
about that.
I just have more questions.
That's interesting.
And you guys stayed

Jamie (42:52):
We never dated I never dated her.
If that was your question.

Rebecca (42:57):
Okay.
I still have a couple more.

Jamie (42:59):
Okay.
All right.
All right.

Rebecca (43:01):
I still have a couple more.

Jamie (43:01):
This dude is about to tee off his discs all over the
place.
That's good.
I'm sad

Rebecca (43:06):
That's what happens when you fro

Jamie (43:09):
stop stoping.
It's not okay.

Rebecca (43:12):
one-sided friendships, I think also kind of fall into
this.
I and I've had them, I've ha Irecognize them more as an adult.
The one-sided friendships,

Jamie (43:22):
Same.

Rebecca (43:24):
where I will do anything for a friend, not for
the kudos.
Not because I wanna be the bestfriend.
It's because like I truly loveand care about this person.
And I know in my heart, there'sno fucking way they would do the
same for me.

Jamie (43:37):
Yeah.

Rebecca (43:38):
I had a friend who had like a mass, a mass of
miscarriages and Mother's Daywas always so hard on her.
And I knew, I knew just to reachout to her on Mother's Day and I
would send her flowers and justbe like, just checking in, you
know, like validating that.
'cause she was always was like,I guess I'm not, and I would
just validate that and just stayin touch, gun to her head.
She would never, she wouldnever, in a million years, and I

(44:02):
know that now, we're obviouslynot

Jamie (44:03):
but that's, yeah, I mean that's also just like the,
honestly, the caliber of friendthat you are like, I think
that's what I'm saying aboutjust the loyalty, like the
tourist loyalty and like theride or die.
Like when we bring people intothe fold, we don't do that
often.
So like when we do, it's seriousand like we wanna, you know?

Rebecca (44:28):
And you wanna hope people match you with that too.
And I think it's always hardwhen you realize that they're

Jamie (44:33):
That not everyone's an awesome Taurus, like Jamie.

Rebecca (44:36):
Yeah.
But that, you just, you hopesomeone's gonna match that or
you hope.
And again, it's not to be like,I'm the bestest friend, or I'm
the goodest friend.
It's just I love you sosincerely and I value and
cherish our friendship.

Jamie (44:49):
Rebecca sends me cheesecake and a vegan salad
from Cheesecake Factory.
Like anytime I'm having like theworst day ever, like she'll just
send me a cheesecake and a vegansalad and it's the best.

Rebecca (45:01):
I have friends who are doing something for me for my
birthday.
and I wanted to take it to thenext level because I appreciated
the time and effort they evenput into thinking about me for
that.
I like contacted the venue, waslike, I'd like to rent like the
private room for this and thensurprise them.
It was just like something nicebecause again, like I can afford
to do it and I wanna do it.

(45:22):
And I am grateful that thesepeople took the time to be my
friends and think about me.

Jamie (45:29):
But before the show started, when you told me about
this, what did you say after tomake sure I knew Rebecca

Rebecca (45:38):
I also don't want to be mingling with the commoners

Jamie (45:45):
right.

Rebecca (45:46):
and the general public.

Jamie (45:48):
Actually, you said, but mostly I just don't want to be
mingling with the generalpublic.

Rebecca (45:56):
Yes.
But also it's still a nice thingto do for them.
And it was nice that theythought of me and it's on

Jamie (46:04):
And then it's nice and it's, and it's also, it's also
nice that you thought of you,

Rebecca (46:09):
Listen, still a

Jamie (46:12):
this is my job.
Okay.
Like, my job, my job is to, tocheck you, you know?

Rebecca (46:19):
still a Taurus.
I would do it for you too.
And also, let's be honest,

Jamie (46:25):
I would do something.
I would do something for meunder the guise that it's for
you too.

Rebecca (46:31):
there's not a tourist planning this because if there
was that room would've beenbooked in the first place.
Okay.
So that's how I know there's noTauruses, because if it was you
planning, you would've bookedthat room.
See?
So

Jamie (46:42):
I feel like this is some sort of like bachelorette party
and I'm actually your maid ofhonor, but I can't make it.
these other fucking bridesmaidsare trying to get their shit
together.
And you're like

Rebecca (46:59):
tier friends.

Jamie (47:00):
you're like, Jamie, they're doing it all wrong.
Were you just drooling?
You're like, my God.

Rebecca (47:08):
I did a little spit when I laughed.
Also does it feel weird to talkabout your other friends with
like your best friend?
Like it feels

Jamie (47:16):
It

Rebecca (47:17):
admitting I have other friends in front of you, like
I'm cheating,

Jamie (47:19):
not even that, but it's just I don't know, but I've also
kind of now like I feel like youknow, all of my friends now,
like all my close friends.

Rebecca (47:30):
I think some of them like me a little bit,

Jamie (47:32):
Yeah, no, they like, no, they like you better than they
like me.
Which I mean, I'm not surprised,but it does kind of

Rebecca (47:38):
I mean.

Jamie (47:40):
to you, Rob, Robert, Roberto.
Anyway,

Rebecca (47:47):
I just wanna make a good impression.
They haven't met the real meyet.

Jamie (47:50):
I feel

Rebecca (47:50):
Right now I'm still in good impression phase.

Jamie (47:53):
I don't think you are still a good impression face
from what I've heard around thewater cooler.

Rebecca (48:00):
I definitely wasn't.
When you guys let me play thatgame with you that one time and
then I ruined it for

Jamie (48:04):
Oh yeah.
Lunch lady.

Rebecca (48:07):
yeah, sorry.

Jamie (48:10):
Rebecca was high.
And I don't even know if I knewyou were high or like how high
you were, but we're playing thegame and

Rebecca (48:19):
cause I was anxious 'cause I didn't know

Jamie (48:20):
Oh well that, and we were playing like a horror game and
that's also frightening.
So we're just playing the gamelike normal.
Rebecca has our first experienceface-to-face with the lunch lady
and like freaks out a littlebit.
She's on this map by these likevending machines by the
cafeteria and she's oh my God,that was so scary.

(48:41):
Or whatever.
And then we all laugh about itand move on and we're still
doing the thing, playing thegame.
And then I walk by and I stillsee Rebecca by the vending
machines and she.
I think you were still down.
So I had to use a med kit andget you up.
And I was like, I got you.
And I was like, was she?

(49:02):
I'm like, is she here?
Are you muted?
I was like, Rebecca, and younever responded.
And the last thing I heard fromyou was like, oh my God, that
was so scary.
And that was it.
So we all go to the exit toleave and we're all like,
where's Rebecca?
And I was like, I'm not sure ifshe's a FK or what?
Let's go see she's down again.

(49:22):
Somebody gets her up where she'snot moving.
I'm like messaging her.
I think it was even texting you.
Nothing.
And I remember Marina just beinglike, we can't leave without
her.
And so there's just this ongoingjoke.
'cause for from that time for awhile you hadn't played anything
with us.
And so I always

Rebecca (49:42):
the game either, right?

Jamie (49:43):
Yeah, no we couldn't.
Yeah, we couldn't end the game.
you didn't break it.
But because you left like wecouldn't end it.
But you, she didn't sayanything.
She was like, oh that was soscary.
And then she literally put herheadset down and left her
computer and went to watch TVand we had no idea.
I'm jealous that you get to gamewith her, with me.

(50:04):
Oh,

Rebecca (50:05):
It's so much fun.
Jamie.
Playing Party Animals with Jamieis great.

Jamie (50:10):
Oh yeah.
Party animals is good.
I'm glad we got you into that'cause you're really good at
that.
No, not you.
We're just gonna ignore that andmove on.
this is what I'm talking.
Oh,

Rebecca (50:20):
I am gonna see.
This is why my name is Best AssRebecca and yours is
Intellectual Bully.
I think maybe we just need torebrand

Jamie (50:27):
playing with Jamie is fun.
Agreed.
See,

Rebecca (50:30):
It is so fun.
You're very good at teachingpeople how to play.
Like you're very patient.
I got into it because you guysdidn't make me feel, see that
was the other thing.
I knew your friends were goodbecause like when I was playing
with you, they didn't make mefeel stupid and they were
patient like, your friends arelegitimately so nice,

Jamie (50:48):
Yeah.
They are

Rebecca (50:49):
so,

Jamie (50:49):
sometimes.
We play for funsies.
Exactly.
We play to have fun.
We don't like, yeah, of coursewe love winning and like killing
Kneelings and whatnot, but wejust, we wanna laugh and make
each other laugh.
That's like our goal is to justbe ridiculous.

Rebecca (51:08):
I am so glad that you started live streaming again
though, over at your ownchannel.
We don't have a schedule yet,but you've also started to do it
again, which is the other waythat I got into games was just
by watching you'cause it seemedlike fun because,

Jamie (51:21):
that's true.
Yeah.
I would invite you to do our,that was the cool thing is like
I had friends that I gamed withand then I had friends that I
didn't really game with but thatI loved that would come over to
do like, you know, I would playlike League for the Stream and
then at night we would all getdrunk and like play, I don't
know, what did we play a lot of?
Among us?

(51:42):
Or like Cards Against Humanity?
Some off-brand Cards AgainstHumanity probably.

Rebecca (51:49):
I think, I think that's a nice part about being adult
friend just is exposure to likedifferent subsets of people who
you na you wouldn't naturallycome across in the wild, like
your game friends.
Yeah.

Jamie (52:01):
And there are game friends that are just like hobby
friends for some people, like I,I even have some friends that I
just probably like, just onlygame with and that's it.
We don't talk or share anythingabout ourselves, you know, with
each other.
but like I feel like the groupof gaming friends I have now
that I like hang out with andgame with regularly.
Like they're some of my closestfriends too.

(52:23):
And

Rebecca (52:25):
Yeah.

Jamie (52:26):
some of them I knew from online only.
Some of them I met online andI've met in person, some people
I have known in person and thenwe started gaming together.
yeah,

Rebecca (52:37):
I do love a friendship formed around hatred of a common
enemy.
That is my, like one of myfavorite friendships.
It doesn't even have to be atthe work.
It doesn't even

Jamie (52:46):
Okay.
Okay.

Rebecca (52:47):
if there's a shitty ass guy at the gym.

Jamie (52:50):
Oh yeah.

Rebecca (52:51):
I was like, I don't know guys.
I feel like the Black LittleMermaid wasn't as good as like
the one where she was white.
And then you immediately allhate them and make it your, like
no words are said.
You just all immediately knowthat it is now your life's
mission to make this man's lifeas miserable as possible and
just shit on him.
And that's how you all bond.
I think we just spent anotherhour listing things we like,

Jamie (53:14):
Yeah, I think we did too.
But you know what, not every,not every episode can be an
episode 10 with Elyssa, youknow, or an episode now.
I don't know the numbers forwaffles.

Rebecca (53:28):
friends.
We didn't talk about that.
Friends with your siblings.
Like Rachel and I are friendsafter God knows how many fucking
years.
and like actual friends and nolonger the Deante friends we're
like, we would snitch to Mom acouple of times.
Now it's like everything's inthe truth locker and we will
never snitch again to either oneof our parents.

Jamie (53:47):
Yeah, I have

Rebecca (53:49):
that's a good friends.

Jamie (53:51):
QI don't know, Q's probably gonna kill me.
No, she doesn't care.
But Q and her brother are likeso close and I love them both.
They're so fun to game with.
but they're super close and I'vealways been so jealous over
that.
And like Manic and his sisterare like that and they're so
close.
And I think I always wished thatI had that with one of my

(54:12):
siblings.
I think I still don't have thatexactly but.
Kay and I are very close.
And, I think even within thelast, you know, five, 10 years,
we became much, much closer thanwe were, especially within the
last probably six years.
oh yeah.
My best friend.
Stop.
I'm crying.
Yeah.
They're like, I don't know, it'sjust I kind of, it always from

(54:35):
the outside at least.
It always looks very nice tohave.
I'm like, oh, I wish I had thatwith Kay.
But

Rebecca (54:41):
I do too.
I'm always like when people werelike, oh yeah, my sister and my
best friend.
I'm like, what the fuck do

Jamie (54:46):
What is wrong with you?

Rebecca (54:47):
you enjoy

Jamie (54:49):
grew up with this?
don't you wanna break?

Rebecca (54:52):
yeah, I know.
I mean like I get it now, butit's just, it was just so funny
'cause I would never everunderstand why it took us 30
years, but we got there finally.

Jamie (55:02):
Yeah.
I'm really glad you did becauseI think you guys are both like,
good for each other to have asfriends.

Rebecca (55:09):
And she's good.
Like, and especially with a kidtoo, like having your siblings
around for your kids is huge.
'cause like they bring out apart of you that your kids don't
necessarily get to see.
And also it's kind of like theyget, you know, the, the fun dirt
from the aunt or uncle of like,well when your mom was little to
do this.

Jamie (55:28):
Like, like what?
Give us, you wanna give us anexample or when you were little?
I.

Rebecca (55:36):
No, not off the top of my head.
I'm sure it was something.
Oh no.
I do remember when we werelittle, Rachel and I would take
our radio flyer wagon.
We would take the cat and wewould've put a milk crate over
the cat and then Rachel, I wouldsit on the milk crate and Rachel

(55:57):
would pull it around and wewould be the, the child, the
remember from Chitty Bang Bang,the child snatcher.
So we were like selling childrenas slaves from the child.
Like we were being the child'ssnatcher and the cat was the
child.
So that was our fun game that weplayed.

Jamie (56:12):
I hope that somebody knows exactly what you're
talking about in Chi Chi.
Do bang, bang.
Because when you said that to methe first time, I was like, I
was like, what are you talkingabout?
That kinda sounds familiar.
And then I watched the clip.
We should find the clip.

Rebecca (56:25):
Does is please tell me someone here under

Jamie (56:27):
but

Rebecca (56:28):
the child

Jamie (56:28):
I knew exactly once I saw the clip.
It just had been a very longtime.
Um, radio flyer wagons,

Rebecca (56:35):
fucking dreams.

Jamie (56:37):
flyer wagons, and milk crates.
All the story needs is a walk tothe corner store to get a pack
of smokes for the parents.
But it's true.
for all the babies in chat.
A wagon is a small, open, topcontainer with wheels.
Listen, this guy had fuckingstyle.
He had a little cape, he hadlollipops for the children, and

(56:58):
uh, the cat would be the thingthat we caught That was
terrifying, right?
Like

Rebecca (57:04):
Yes,

Jamie (57:04):
why wouldn't it?
Let me copy this.
This is stupid.

Rebecca (57:07):
Those were the fun games we used to play as
children.

Jamie (57:09):
I love that.

Rebecca (57:10):
When your mom locked you out and you had a drink from
the hose,

Jamie (57:13):
Oh fuck yeah, dude.
There was nothing like drinkingfrom the hose then, though.
We had,

Rebecca (57:18):
a taste.

Jamie (57:19):
was, that's interesting.
'cause this is like anotherwhole thing we didn't think
about is I don't know about you,but there were lots of kids in
my neighborhood.
Neighborhood friends, whenyou're little there was this one
kid that like, yeah, I mean hewas very gay.
He always wanted to do, hewanted to be like, he wanted to
run fashion shows and so like,

Rebecca (57:43):
You guys do fashion

Jamie (57:44):
yeah.
So people would get Whateverfrom their dress up boxes or
like their parents' clothes orwhatever.
And he would orchestrate thiswhole thing where like literally
like we like the, it was alwayslike all girls of course, in the
fashion show.
but we would go and, we'd walkdown the driveway like, I don't
know, it was very stupid.
And we would go in his house andgo in the bathroom and like

(58:05):
quickly change into the nextoutfit and come back and it was
this whole thing.
We would have all out waterballoon fights.
and that same kid, by the waywas like, all right, we're the
dark side and you guys are the,you guys are the light side
because the sun shines, or no,you're the dark side and we're
the light side.
'cause the sun always shinesmore on our half of the block.

(58:26):
So it'd be like that half of theblock kids versus this half of
the block kids.
And it was insane.
We had two blocks that we wouldjust run around and that was
like our whole area for waterballoon

Rebecca (58:40):
I love that.
That's so cute.
I love it.
Hey, should we do, should weplay a friend game?

Jamie (58:47):
Oh yeah, we should play a friend game,

Rebecca (58:49):
Should we do party animals?

Jamie (58:52):
party animals Or if chat is interested, we could do cards
against humanity, likeoff-brand.
Never have I ever, let's playSpin the Bottle as friends.
Oh.
That was another friends that weadded at the end too, as friends
with benefits that we were both

Rebecca (59:13):
this is okay.
I'm very, see this is how I knowwe are friend friends.
'cause I called you today, on myway home and you were like, oh,
there was another friend group Iwas thinking of, I can't
remember.
I said, it's friends withbenefits.

Jamie (59:25):
And I was like, I I was like, how the fuck Did you know
that, that's exactly what I wasthinking about.

Rebecca (59:31):
I was like, I know

Jamie (59:32):
You were like, because I you were like, because I know
you and your beautiful brain orsomething like that.
I was like, yeah, I guess.

Rebecca (59:39):
We have friend brain.

Jamie (59:40):
Yeah.

Rebecca (59:41):
Mm.
That's the best type offriendship where you can just
look at each other and be likethis motherfucker without saying
a word.

Jamie (59:47):
So party animals.
So just me and you playing partyanimals.
Okay.
Let us, okay, let's do it.
Thanks for talking.
Thanks for listening to us.
Talk about friends and enemiesand the things we like and don't
like.

Rebecca (01:00:03):
You know, we could do a whole episode on enemies though,

Jamie (01:00:06):
Yeah, we could

Rebecca (01:00:08):
not opposed to it.
And actually

Jamie (01:00:11):
is that a good idea?
Maybe

Rebecca (01:00:13):
no, my favorite is like, enemies who don't know
they're your enemies, but likethey are your enemies.

Jamie (01:00:20):
they are your enemies.
Thanks so much for being here.
Thank you for showing up.

Rebecca (01:00:24):
Yes.

Jamie (01:00:26):
All right, thank you everybody.

Rebecca (01:00:28):
Woo.

Jamie (01:00:28):
to us, subscribe, like us, leave reviews, call us
cunts, whatever you like.
love you so much.
Thank you for being here.
come be burnt out with us everyweek.
Thursday's 5:00 PM Twitch tvright here.

Rebecca (01:00:41):
We have some exciting special guests that we are
getting on the schedule that wecan't wait to tell you about.

Jamie (01:00:46):
Yeah.
We're gonna have, we posted anactual schedule.
We like scheduled our next fourshows in advance, which is crazy
for us.
so yeah.
all right, bye everybody.