Episode Transcript
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Amber Annette (00:02):
Welcome to the
Business Psychic Podcast, the
show that helps you ignite yoursoul's purpose, turn up your
creativity and activate salesand marketing magic.
I'm your host, amber Annette,and I'm thrilled to be here with
you today to explore the depthof what it means to be a woman
in business.
I believe that business is morethan just making money.
It's about making a differenceand making your mark.
(00:24):
So sit back, get present andlet's dive in and uncover the
secrets to building a businesswith soul, purpose and magic.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Business Psychic.
I'm Amber Annette, your host,and you are in for a juicy
(00:46):
episode.
Let me welcome to you thefabulous Sherri Tiegman.
Sherri is a high-performancecoach and creative business
strategist who teaches theMaverick method to become the
optimal you for your optimallife and business.
She works with high-level CEOs,entrepreneurs and startups to
unleash their inner Maverick andto remove the bottlenecks that
(01:07):
keep them stuck and small tocatapult into the next level of
well-being and success in allareas.
Sherri's been in business foralmost nine years with private
clients and now runs thecoaching department for one of
the biggest sales and marketingtraining companies in the UK.
Sherri has been one of my bestbusiness besties from pretty
(01:32):
much day one.
I am so excited to share aconversation with her that is
going to be for you raw, real,transformative and a really deep
look inside what it is like tobe an entrepreneur in this
online coaching and developmentspace for almost 10 years.
Sherri, I love you.
Shari Teigman (01:54):
I just love you.
Thank you for having me.
I can't believe we're doingthis.
This is so exciting.
These have been thousands ofconversations that haven't been
recorded.
Now we're actually recordingone of our rants.
This is amazing.
Amber Annette (02:05):
Yeah, we
definitely need to remember that
we are hosting a podcast andthat we are live and people are
going to hear us.
Shari Teigman (02:15):
Because we can I
will behave as best as I know
how, which is not very, but I'lltry.
Amber Annette (02:19):
We can get down
some rabbit holes.
For one time we were talking,we were like if anybody heard us
right now, they would come inwith straight jackets and that
would be that was a present We'dbe happily go.
We're done.
We're done.
We can never tell people wetalk like this.
I'm excited to have thoseconversations Right before we
hit record.
We started we have no First ofall, today is a very different
(02:43):
podcast for me, becausetypically I give myself a
framework of some questions Iwant to ask my guests that I
have on.
I don't have that with you.
I'm trusting that our 10 yearstogether is going to lead this
conversation and keep ourlisteners keep them listening,
because we just started goingdown a path and I was like we
(03:05):
need to hit record After both ofwhat we were talking about man,
look at us, look at us, look athow far we've come.
10 years.
We've made it.
We've been doing this, what welove for 10 years coaching,
leading, guiding, speaking,inspiring, motivating.
Then we started talking aboutsome of those clients that we
(03:29):
get that we can't activate forsome reason.
We started talking about I'mprobably going to call this
episode this why don't peopleBlink, insert whatever.
Why don't people-.
I've got that, yeah.
Why don't people dot dot dot?
So let's dive in.
(03:51):
I want to talk about number one.
Why don't people take action?
Why don't people take inspiredaction?
I think you can probablyappreciate this.
All of my clients and I knowthe kind of people that you work
with too.
They have great ideas, theyhave amazing gifts and abilities
(04:15):
and they are here to be gamechangers, and yet, holy shit,
why don't they take actiontowards that vision?
Shari Teigman (04:25):
Well, I think you
just nailed it even in the
question.
It's that Walter Middy thing Ifwe stay in Dreamland, then we
get to be fully expressed andreached our potential.
But if we ship it into theworld and it doesn't work, then
it's only our fault.
But if we don't do the thingthat we say we're going to do,
then we get to stay in thethinking about the thing and the
being excited about the ideaand then looking out at the
(04:48):
world in the way that weproblems solve.
I mean, we were talking, wewere meant to start recording
this 40 minutes ago, but firstwe had a catch up.
So during our catch up we weresaying how you know whether
we're watching like Amber sayingshe's watching commercials on
TV, or I'll read a book, and allwe do is kind of like correct
what we would do differently, orsee the holes where other
people don't see.
And it's a very addictive placeto stay in, that place of
(05:11):
pre-doing, because that's wherepeople feel the most clear, the
most ready, the most bold andconfident, because they didn't
put it out in the world yet.
So nobody was disappointed,they aren't.
No one's not buying, they don'thave all the issues of what
happens when we ship something.
So I think it's become a realaddiction in the personal
development and entrepreneurspace to be the smartest one in
(05:34):
the room to talk about it butnot be the bold one who's
actually taking the action.
Amber Annette (05:41):
I feel like
you're kind of burning a hole in
my soul here, because I am notkidding you.
I have three books that aresitting on my Google Drive three
and all of them have made ittill about the last chapter or
(06:01):
two and they are some of thebest content I've ever created
that I've never shared with adamn person.
And the thought of likeactually publishing it and
putting it out and then nothaving the dream of it, I feel
like we have to become, to stayin that unknown space of the
(06:25):
launch and the putting ourselvesout there and listen.
Shari Teigman (06:28):
You're being so
open and vulnerable by sharing
that like.
If this scares, you imaginewhat it does to regular people
because you're not a regularperson.
So we just hit the nail on thehead here.
This is the shortest podcastever.
We just finished.
But it is that like.
I know my aim, I know my goal,I know my potential, I know who
I can be.
(06:48):
And when the world or ouraudience or strangers reflect
back something different, how dowe reconcile who we want to be
with who we currently are?
How do we continue growing?
In the moments when it is scary,when no one is watching, when
no one's clapping, we're likecue the music.
I'm a celebrity.
Now I nailed it.
I just solved everyone'sproblems and the books don't get
(07:09):
published or gets published andsix people like it in.
One of them is your mom.
You know what I mean.
Like it's a real.
It's terrifying to seeourselves in potential and then
not have that guarantee thatthat's how it's going to go.
So we make excuses, we getscared.
Most of us then come up withnew ideas because maybe the idea
wasn't good enough.
And then it's this round robinof almost launching over and,
(07:32):
over and over again.
Amber Annette (07:34):
I literally just
told Erin, my assistant, today.
I was like I have an idea for anew book and she was like, oh
okay, maybe instead of a newbook, maybe I should just finish
one of those other ones.
But I mean, I think it bringsup the topic of risk right.
What we're really talking aboutare taking these bigger risks,
(07:54):
these risks of putting our ideas, our creative expression, our
purpose out into the world.
And yet I have no problem doingthat in a lot of other areas.
I mean, I published, I put outa podcast, I've I mean I have
had my own business for 10 years, and I mean so like and I can
(08:19):
associate that with so many ofmy clients as well like they're
taking risks, they are doingdifferent things, they're making
investments, they're trying,and yet it makes me wonder are
there these bigger resistancesto some of these risks?
You know are there?
You know, is this for I'll usemyself as an example here is
this book like the biggest?
Shari Teigman (08:39):
risk I could take
.
So I think what comes down tofor me, for what I see in myself
and with clients, is it'sinteresting you bring the risk
thing up because a lot ofentrepreneurs have like this
busy fool syndrome where as longas I'm doing something I'm
playing in Canva, I'm creating asmall course I did made another
lead magnet.
That's like the smallerplayground.
(09:01):
It feels comfortable, like,look, I am putting stuff out in
the world, I am doing my thing,I'm sharing my message a little
bit.
But the identity piece linkedto the bigger things let's say a
book or like the real clientswe want to work with the real
prices, we want to charge thereal things we want to say out
there.
That's when the alarm gets setoff.
So until then we've got a nicelittle rope to play in and I am
(09:23):
very busy in my business and I'mgood at what I do and the few
clients who know what you dolove you.
For people who are, you know,getting started or whatever.
And then, like, the alarm goesoff and then all of a sudden we
shrink back because our identityis at risk, not just our
business.
That risk thing is like whowill I have to continue being if
I actually put this out in theworld and I see this a lot with
(09:45):
clients where we say we'reafraid of failure, we're far
more afraid of success becauseif, let's say, I hit that big
number or I get that best selleror I run a successful launch,
shit, I've got to do that againnow.
I can't now slide back to whereI was and just play in my small
playground anymore, like thegate gets locked after that.
Now I'm in a new playground asmy baseline and I don't know if
(10:06):
I can do that.
Amber Annette (10:11):
What if, though?
What if the fear is fear offailure?
Shari Teigman (10:17):
Well, it's both.
We're caught in like thisvalley, like we don't want to be
embarrassed on the failure andif it's successful, I don't have
another brilliant idea yet.
I have a lot of little smallideas.
So it's this dance between themboth which is why we stay busy.
Amber Annette (10:32):
I remember this
time and I don't know if you
have the same view I, if you gowith Gilbert for that creation
of that book, because it broughtideas into such a beautiful
light.
For me, it was the first timethat I ever found somebody else
be able to explain ideas.
I interact with them all thetime and what she talked about
(10:53):
was one idea leading to the next, and I don't know if you've
ever had this happen, but I havehad some of these ideas where I
feel like it's an unlocking, anunveiling Most of my ideas are
like that.
Shari Teigman (11:09):
So the way I
describe this is you know, let's
say you go away for a weekendto like a beautiful cabin
somewhere and it's a littleuninhabited and looked very
different online than when youbooked it.
Let's just say you walk in andyou turn on the faucet and like
brown, shitty water comes outfirst and you've got to let the
water run until you get thefresh spring water.
This is the way our brains andcreativity work.
(11:29):
If we don't use it, it's amuscle.
So one idea unlocks the other,because self trust comes along
with the cycle of creativity.
So I have an idea, I act on it,I use it, I play with it.
It's like Play-Doh.
I'm another one because I taughtmyself I'm allowed when we
don't listen, or we decide we'rein control of them, or I've got
(11:50):
20 minutes to be creative.
Come on, blink and cursorCreativity.
We work for creativity, not theother way around.
So I think that unlocking issuch a beautiful way to describe
it because it is to access thedeeper parts.
But we've got to do the smallerbits first to prove to
ourselves, our brain and to ourcreativity they're like she's
doing it this time.
Let's bring out the big guns.
Amber Annette (12:12):
Yeah, I remember
one time years ago, sherry, you
came into one of my groups and Idon't know if you remember this
, but you quoted somebody and Istill to this day don't remember
like who you quoted.
But we were talking aboutcreativity and we were talking
about writing and you said writehi edit sober, yeah, oh,
(12:33):
there's a famous author thatwrote it and I don't remember.
Shari Teigman (12:36):
I'm going to find
it now.
It's so true, we've got to runthat water.
You've got to just let themuddy water come first, shitty
first drafts, if you've ever ifAyan Lamott bird by bird, one of
so so so
Amber Annette (12:51):
here's really
interesting, why that that book
would come forward.
Right, I have man, I'm justlike totally being super
vulnerable, like I will, justlike.
I have a really hard timecompleting things and here's why
.
Here's the I've done a lot oflike, I do a lot of personal
reflection.
So, for example, when thissounds so dumb, but toy story
(13:15):
right, Toy story one came outwith my daughter Aubrey was was
baby when she was just born,okay, and then I had three other
kids since her who have allgone through the toy story
movies.
Right, they've all watched them.
It's always been a thing.
All the things my boys alwaysdressed up as like Buzz
Lightyear for Halloween, all thethings it's like been a really
(13:36):
big.
I fucking refuse to watch thefinal toy story for by the way,
don't, because it'sheartbreaking, so don't.
I can't do it.
Shari Teigman (13:44):
It's horrible.
Amber Annette (13:45):
I can't do it.
Shari Teigman (13:46):
It's wonderful,
but it's heartbreaking.
Amber Annette (13:48):
I can't ever
finish things like this.
I and I know, and human beingsI know, are this way as well.
It's hard for us to say goodbye, you know, and that it's hard
for us to like.
I rarely will read the finalchapter of a book, obviously, I
barely.
I can't even like write evenour own yeah.
(14:08):
I have such a hard time ofthings being completed because
it makes me feel so sad thatit's over.
Shari Teigman (14:16):
I'm the same, by
the way.
I hate goodbyes and thefinality of it, and I think
especially for intuitives,because we know the moment will
never be the same.
Regular people just say goodbyeand they don't realize what
I've never going to be the same.
Exactly.
The moment will never be thesame.
The feelings, the emotion, theconnection, the memories will
change instantly as soon as thatmovie's over Door closes,
(14:38):
holiday ends, whatever it is.
I struggle a lot with them.
People, since I'm little peopleare why are you crying last day
of school?
Because it will never be thismoment again.
Amber Annette (14:49):
Yeah, yeah, and
that makes me think of that
future moment of myself and ofso many other people who are
taking those actions to getthere because they know change
is inevitable.
Shari Teigman (15:02):
Yeah, and they
don't know how to.
They know how to prepare theideas now, but what happens
later?
And that's out of their control.
So who the hell would walk intosomething that's out of their
control?
On purpose, nobody.
Amber Annette (15:14):
We don't know how
do you activate?
How do you activate thatmotivation then to go after it,
to become that so?
Shari Teigman (15:21):
for me exactly
that.
It's so when I work withclients on this, the big vision
is there.
I don't believe in balance.
So I think there's the bigvision on one side and them as a
person on the other side, andthere's a scaffold effect of the
big vision is bigger than meright now.
So my only job is to elevatemyself, to be in communication
level with that big vision.
So it's I have a big vision.
(15:41):
I'm doing that holy crap moment.
It's going to be big.
And then I immediately,naturally we shrink smaller
because it feels too big.
So we go into the realness ofright now, which is where our
doubts and fears and, you know,inner critic and all that come.
So my job is always number oneidentify the big vision.
(16:01):
And number two, we immediatelygo to who do I need to be in
order to be able to be ready forthat?
So that's when we look atwhat's standing in between me
and my big vision.
I do this daily with clients andthen all the comes up because
it's everything in them, startsraising his hand of saying, well
(16:22):
, I can't do that, can't do it.
Well, I tried that once, can'tdo that.
My third grade teacher told meI couldn't do that, and it all
just bubbles out because it'sfinally at a precipice of like
if I don't change, I don't getthat big thing.
Instead of making more excuses,being more busy and exhausting
ourselves, in that moment theonly question is great, I know
where I want to go.
I'm going to hike a mountain.
(16:43):
What do I need for it?
Well, I can't go in my flipflops, in my sundress, can I?
I'm immediately going to go onAmazon and start shopping for
hiker me, and this is nevergoing to happen.
This is so theoretical by wereto know about our lives of like
I'm going to a cold location, weimmediately go, take our cold
stuff out.
I'm going to a warm location, weknow how to prepare ourselves,
(17:06):
to be ready for things.
We just don't know how toprepare ourselves for something,
and this is where the work is.
Amber Annette (17:15):
And I think this
is where the attention needs to
be, and it's not.
I can't tell you how many times, when I get into a place of
channel for my clients, thefirst and foremost thing that
comes forward is how often areyou pulling yourself present?
Because if you pull yourselfout, I really believe that it is
(17:40):
when you are in your mostpresent form that you are going
to get your next set ofinstructions and directions to
help you become who you want tobe.
And nobody, nobody, except forwhat's his name Eckhart, eckhart
Tolle.
No one except him actually doesthis.
(18:00):
I swear Like we get so wrappedup into the how that we don't
get connected to who.
Shari Teigman (18:10):
And it's so scary
to be sat in that presence
piece for the thinkers and thedreamers and the doers that we
think staying busy is moving usforward, but it's actually
moving us backwards because wescare on a little submission,
exactly.
Amber Annette (18:27):
Yeah, I think
here's the other thing that I
find fascinating about ideas andaction and motivation.
Is that what you're talkingabout.
Most of us are on this loop,right when we've had these past
thoughts, we've had these pastideas and we it's like a hamster
on a freaking wheel, right Likewe start doing, going through
the motions, the only motions weknow how to do, whether it's,
(18:49):
let's say, I'll just usebusiness, send emails, you do
outreach, you write a sales pageall the hamster wheel shit,
right.
Shari Teigman (18:57):
Yeah.
Amber Annette (18:59):
But that is for
past version of you, past ideas,
where, if you pull yourselfpresent, that's where you have
access to in the moment,creativity, ideas that have
never come to this planet before.
Because you've never, becauseyou're not operating off of that
loop, like it just blows mymind what can happen when you,
(19:23):
when you get present, what, how?
The best analogy also, I thinkI've ever given is when you are
being present, you are givingthe universe this like green
light energy.
Just like if you're playing redlight, green light.
You remember the game right,you run as fast as you can to
the person.
That's like you know greenlight.
(19:44):
Run as fast as you can.
As soon as they say red light,you have to stop and freeze,
right, like we all played thatgame in elementary school.
That is what being present islike.
You're giving green lightenergy.
The universe can run to youwith everything you freaking
desire, and yet we operate inthe non present about 99.9% of
(20:06):
our day and our time looking inthe wrong direction, like you
said, bringing forward somethingthat was already done.
Shari Teigman (20:12):
But we are busy
in it.
A friend of mine, who's also anintuitive, I love when she says
that.
She said universe doesn'texpect you to do 100%, the
universe expects you to do your100%.
Your 100% is that presence.
Your 100% is the brave, bolddecision making and the brave
action taking, and then the restgets handled because you did
(20:33):
your part.
But when we stay busy, we'reactually moving so far away from
what we promised ourselves.
It's almost like we have thebig dream and then we claw back
because maybe it's a little toobig, maybe not this year, maybe
next year, and then the universedoesn't understand what we're
asking for.
So it stops because they're notclear yet, they haven't made
their order yet and they're toobusy for it.
(20:54):
Anyway, exactly, exactly.
There's no time in betweensending emails.
Amber Annette (21:00):
Sometimes it
seems so simple.
You know what I mean.
Sometimes I have moments likethis where I'm like, okay, just
meditate all day and it's allgoing to work out, and it will.
And yet do we do that?
Absolutely freaking not.
Instead, I will go and I willbuy a new course on how to do
TikTok ads, or I will dosomething I'll read a book on
(21:25):
funnels, or you know, anotherbook, what we all need.
Oh gosh, yeah.
So what about urgency?
You know?
I mean, I think that I just, Ithink I love coaching so much
because a I learn so much.
Every single client I have Ilearn from, I learn from myself
(21:50):
every session, and I don't knowhow many seven, eight, 9000
sessions in 10 years.
I have no idea I stoppedkeeping.
I literally stopped keepingtrack after like 6,000.
I'm not kidding you, and therewas something about that like
10,000 hours thing for me.
Like once I hit that like Istopped.
I was like this is dumb, why amI still tracking this?
But I really think thatactivating that positive urgency
(22:15):
in people or helping themaccess it, even, maybe not even
just activating, I think somepeople are activators and other
people help people access, and Ifeel like some people just have
that hunger and some peoplehave that urgency and some
people have that curiosity andsome people don't, or they just
(22:40):
haven't ever accessed it.
Shari Teigman (22:42):
What do you think
I think?
Well, curiosity for me is a bigone, because I think that's a
big.
To me, this is like acombination lock, like it's
never all on or off, but it'show we read our own clues and
our own energy, because we knowthat fear and excitement release
the same chemicals in our body.
So someone like me or you, wholoves growth, is like game on.
I have a new idea, but then youare less scared than I am.
(23:06):
I can then scare myself intosubmission and then that same
energy that felt like excitementis now panic and then I pull
back.
So it's that own, we've got thebreak on in the car for
different reasons.
Think possibility, we need tomake space for.
Then, when we make space for it, we need to know what to do
with it instead of like, oh, Iwas a little bit too big, I
(23:28):
meant to dream big, but I didn'tneed to go that big.
So I don't think people don'thave it.
I think it's activated ineveryone and some people think
differently about it than otherpeople.
So, for someone who is afraidof growth, their big dreams will
scare them and then they make alot of excuses because, like,
not me, not now.
I'm not that person.
(23:48):
My well, frustration to me themost is I don't know how to
implore to the people that I amblessed to work with that you
wouldn't have had the idea ifyou weren't supposed to birth it
Like.
This isn't accidental, it'strust me success is not
contagious as much as mostpeople would like it to be Like.
That is in your brain and inyour awareness and in your heart
for a reason.
(24:08):
So then we need to create aframework around how they
activate themselves, and we knowit's not the same for everyone.
So for some people, it's firstmove through the fear, or
acknowledge it, and get calm andget present.
For other people, urgency islike you and I we run out of a
shower and write an entire salespage dripping wet in the towel
because we know grab it or it'sgone.
Amber Annette (24:31):
Yeah, I think the
conversation around success
being contagious is.
I mean, I definitely like to bearound other people that are
successful.
It's great to know.
Shari Teigman (24:43):
Yeah, you can sit
and wait and pick up, like the
bread crumbs from their peanutbutter and jelly sandwich, eat
it and suddenly magically turninto someone you are not.
Couldn't agree more.
And I do love a crust of abread.
Don't think that I wouldn't eatyour crust.
Amber Annette (24:58):
I also think that
.
So I have two parts to thisconversation.
The first part is I feel likefor some people, the strive and
the path and the way to successcan become an addiction.
Oh, a thousand percent.
(25:19):
And I didn't realize it untilone of my best girlfriends said
again here I'll be man.
I'm just like really being openup on this podcast today.
So I have five brothers, two ofwhich have passed away, and all
five of them have and did haveextreme addiction to drugs,
(25:47):
alcohol, women, sex, I mean likeextra meth, like I mean I have
a pretty jacked up like family,like I'm not gonna like all five
of them.
And then there's me, right, andI said to my girlfriend no,
don't get me wrong, I love agood vodka, club soda from here
and there, but I so don't get mewrong, right, like.
(26:11):
But I said to my girlfriend nottoo long ago, I said I feel so
grateful that that addictionpassed me.
How did it pass me, Tina?
Like, how did that happen?
I feel so grateful.
And she looked at me stone coldand said are you kidding me?
Shari Teigman (26:29):
Exactly she said
are you kidding me?
These people have never seenyour notebook collection.
If they think you don't have anaddiction.
Amber Annette (26:36):
Well, yeah, she
was like you're the most
addicted person to success I'veever met in my life.
Like you are.
Your addiction is success and Iam so grateful for her saying
that to me and at the same time,it has haunted me ever since
she said it to me.
I bet I think about it once aday, like what am I willing to
(26:57):
like give up right?
Like I think about, like whatam I, you know, like drug
addicts?
Like they are literally willingto like give up everything to
reach that level that they, youknow, that high.
And I feel like and sometimesI'm doing the same thing, I see
people doing the same thing, andyet it's for success.
How is it any?
Shari Teigman (27:16):
different and
this is, but it's cause.
It's just transmuted Like humanbeings are, we are, and this is
what I mean about reading oursigns of like what do we need,
what are we crave?
How do we control it?
There's not one entrepreneurwho has stepped off the
employment road, who is not outof their mind.
Semi, adhd, no attention span,big dreamer.
(27:37):
Like we love this stuff.
But like if we walked into aregular office I'd be medicated
and it's probably strapped to achair for all the big ideas.
But here it's celebratedbecause we know how to use it,
we know who to tell it to.
Like if I told people in my old, regular life of how I grew up,
what I do, where I go, what Ido, they look at me like I have
(27:58):
10 heads.
So I think it's a selffulfilling prophecy of what we
decide, if it's a strength or aweakness.
Yeah.
Amber Annette (28:05):
I don't know yet
Exactly.
Shari Teigman (28:08):
I mean, I feel
like entrepreneurs burn out
every 10 seconds, I feel like,is the statistic.
So it's not necessarily thehealthiest way to go, but how we
use our drive, our motivation,even our fear, is how we create
our own cadence of what wecreate in the world.
It's a lot of why we're bored alot of the time because it is
(28:29):
waiting for the next.
Amber Annette (28:29):
I just sometimes
wish that I could bottle it.
I mean, we started this episodewith why don't people?
And when I look at myself, I'mlike, why do I?
Why do I keep going?
What does like, how do I givethat and transfer that to
listeners and clients and mykids and my like, how?
Shari Teigman (28:48):
I can't remember
Amber, because I know you for so
long, Like and your audiencemay not know this, so I mean
you've been like this sinceyou're 17 years old.
Amber Annette (28:57):
Yes, maybe you've
done this in everything that
you do.
Shari Teigman (29:01):
And you were a
young single mom.
Like if you line up other girlswho have had kids when you had
your kids your first two kids.
We don't need to lay out whattheir lives look like, we know.
So you decide there wassomething in you that decided at
a young age with one baby, thentwo babies, like this is what
my life is going to look like.
(29:22):
In terms of whether it wasgovernment assistance, there's
nothing wrong with it.
You went and started a careerwhen you could hardly have time
to go to the bathroom byyourself.
So, like, you took this andspun it a long time ago.
Now you're living in the rippleeffect of that decision.
You made a very long time.
Thank you, You're welcome.
So like.
(29:43):
I want to bottle that.
You know what I mean.
Look, trust me, I take a doseof amber every day.
If I could, I'm pretty damnaccomplished myself.
But like I've spent real timewith you, not just calls, like
you've come to my house, you'veslept here, we've been in
Florida together, like we'vespent real friend time, not just
business time.
And you are remarkable in howyou do anything, how you see the
(30:04):
world, the kind ofconversations you allow yourself
to have, who you like to bearound, what you like to think
about.
So it really comes down to mostpeople think this is just like
a tetanus shot.
You get it once.
It's an active choice in everymoment, in every argument, in
every struggle to choose whichway it's going to go.
And that is harder to learnbecause it takes a lot of
(30:26):
personal responsibility thatpeople don't want to take.
Amber Annette (30:30):
I don't know what
to say.
I've never left speechless, youknow.
So one of the things that wascoming up for me when you were
talking what you know, whenwe're talking about success and
going after it, one of thethings that I want to talk about
is that room of women thatwe're talking about right.
(30:51):
When you're around other highlysuccessful women, when you're
driven, you're ambitious, youhave big ideas, big goals, and
then you get there or you almostget there, or you're on your
way there and you already startto think what's next.
Shari Teigman (31:11):
You know, that's
also the addiction.
The fulfillment loop is thenext thing to talk about.
Amber Annette (31:16):
I feel like it's
something that we just there's
just not enough people that arelike it's not that you're not
unfulfilled, it's not that youare fulfilled, it's just there's
.
Sometimes it's like a curse anda blessing to have drive you,
because it's endless.
Shari Teigman (31:36):
So it's not like,
oh, I did that, let me sit down
and throw myself a party.
I mean, how many times I'vebeen with you.
You've launched, you've doneunbelievably, I've done it,
you've been with me in it andit's like, man, I was okay, I
don't feel anything Next.
It's like that what the amountof work and love and care that
went into it.
We don't even get the feedbackloop of the good feedback loop
either.
Amber Annette (31:57):
I reference it to
like and this is so stupid
because never, ever will I climba mountain, but I reference you
and I are not getting ourhiking shoes that we keep
talking about.
I reference mountain climbingwith it.
Right, like I get to the top ofthese mountains that I see, I
see them and I'm like I'm goingto climb it, I'm going to
conquer it.
And then I do.
I get to the top of thismountain and I'm like where's my
(32:18):
next mountain?
I just want to get to the top.
And I know so many other womenare feeling like this too.
Like when is it just going tobe enough to be on my mountain
and like sit, sit down andappreciate and just be good
right there?
I just haven't found that yet.
Shari Teigman (32:38):
And listen when
we don't find it in our business
, then our friends are notfulfilling.
How many entrepreneur womenhave you spoken to like I have
over the past 10 years?
I work with both men and women.
Their friends are boring.
They no longer want to go outand hang out with their friends.
Their family drives them crazy.
Their partners no longer makesense.
Then, like we have to slow downfor everyone.
(32:59):
And it's this addiction to thespeed where we don't even know
how to enjoy it.
I have a lot of clients withvery young children and I feel
lucky that I did this when mykids were a little bit older,
because all they want to do iswork or play or create and their
kids are waiting to play withthem.
And I'm like you're missingthese golden years with your
children.
They're like yeah, I just had agreat idea.
Yeah, and it's not anentrepreneurial person, it was
(33:22):
not snuck their phone into thebathroom to quickly write
something in notes.
Amber Annette (33:25):
when they had an
idea, so that nobody saw her.
I used to when Riker was little,you know, we'd put on a movie
or whatever and I would sit withmy notebook on the floor.
I would be with him.
You know he's coloring, I'mcoloring and writing down ideas
that I would have.
I mean, I'm grateful for those,that I was able to do both, but
(33:48):
I also yeah, I mean there are alot of people who are missing
the reason why they're probablytrying to have their own
business to begin with,absolutely.
So one other thing that I wantto talk about before I go into
the and so now here's what I'mreally excited about is you
haven't listened to the podcastyet, so you don't know what
(34:11):
happens after we're done withthis interview part, which is
super fun.
So that's like you're about,yeah, so just sit tight for that
girl.
Shari Teigman (34:19):
Take me there,
baby.
Where are we going?
Amber Annette (34:22):
But I want to
have one.
I want to have one moreconversation and I want to know
how do you get your clients todream bigger.
How do you or maybe your kidsor people around you how do you
get them to see a bigger visionthan they've ever seen before?
Shari Teigman (34:46):
So for me the
answer is twofold.
Number one I use humor a lotbecause, as creatives and I
struggle with this I'm the moststubborn creative person I know.
So I know how to work myself,which means I know how to help
clients.
But when we get too caught inthe how, as you said earlier
then the dream is automaticallysmaller because we don't know a
bigger way to do things.
But I am a big believer that itdoesn't have to hurt as much to
(35:08):
get unstuck as it did to getstuck, and the humor is what
loosens the glue for me.
So when a client is coming andI can feel them all very tightly
wound in what it needs to looklike, and when it's going to
happen and I'm like, oh, we gotto re-root here a bit, I move
them a lot.
Like I'll play with language.
(35:29):
I get very creative, I make ajoke, I make a ridiculous
analogy Like I did a wholeanalogy with my very
high-powered male clients theother day of like a madam versus
a cheap hooker and all of asudden he's cracking up and I
got a lot more out of him indream Like, okay, give me your
madam idea, cool, give me yourcheap hooker idea.
And it's just taking people outof the lens that they're
(35:51):
looking at and moving them tolook at something from a
different way.
Since he doesn't right nowcurrently have a plan to be a
madam nor hooker, that's a safeplace for him to play because
it's just pretend land for right.
Then.
So if we can say, okay, I knowyou don't know how to do this,
but if you did, let's go playover here, and just what would
the ideas be Once they're out?
Then someone has that innerrecognition of oh my God, that
(36:13):
just came out of me.
I actually do know more and I'mnot the coach who thinks she
knows everything.
I think my clients know muchmore than I do.
My role is to help them openthe windows to find what they
have forgotten about themselvesor maybe never identified yet.
So it's through humor and thecuriosity thing I'm a big, you
know those books when we werelittle.
Choose your own adventure.
(36:34):
So I like to create differentavenues for people to be like
don't do it my way, becauseyou'll have this a lot as well.
People will be like okay, Iwant my Maverick, I want this
sherry, I want you can't be amini me.
I can hardly be me half thedays Like that's what we're
learning here.
But it's choose your ownadventure.
What would be three differentoutcomes that could come from
this?
So if we have more options,just like with a toddler,
(36:56):
there's not a yes or a no, it'sred or green.
I want blue.
Great, at least you chose one.
So I'm a big believer in thecuriosity adventure side, as
well as making it fun andplayful, because no one doesn't
need more play in their life,and that's the way we had our
great ideas when we were little.
Why would we try to do anythingelse now?
Amber Annette (37:14):
Because the place
doesn't work, because when
we're playful, we're present.
Exactly, this was like so goodand like you said earlier,
present with our now self.
Shari Teigman (37:27):
That little child
gets to come and play.
It's not just a box anymore,it's a spaceship.
Well, I'm 49 and I don't haveany spaceships around me, so I
need a lot of play.
And because my brain is socreative, I can also make
disasters like nobody else,because I'm using that same
creativity to create anxiety andexcuses in a business.
I know that route.
So, like all of that anxietyand excuse stuff and overwhelm
(37:51):
is their creativity.
I call it creative constipation.
It's just stuffed in there.
They haven't let it out in theway that works, so we've got a
lot of sitting in that box,exactly.
So if we let it out, then thereal stuff comes out, what they
really want to do, what theyreally want to say.
Amber Annette (38:06):
I've been on this
huge game First.
I'm obsessed with Game ofThrones, if you know anything
about me.
I just watched it for my thirdtime and as you're talking about
being inside those boxes andshe always calls herself the
breaker of chains, I'm going tostart calling myself the breaker
of boxes.
I love that.
I love that.
Speaking of your breaker ofboxes, what if we introduced
(38:28):
ourselves the way DaenerysTargaryen got introduced?
Breaker of change, mother ofdragons, queen of the rut, if we
started doing that Same, I'm upfor it.
Yeah, let's start.
Let's come up with, like, newintros for ourselves.
I like it, because I think weneed to bring that back.
Breaker of boxes.
Shari Teigman (38:47):
It has been a
long 10 years Amber.
We're ready for change, Allright.
Amber Annette (38:52):
So now, in true
of the business psychic fashion,
here's what's going to go down.
Oh boy, I'm going to tap in andI'm going to give you a
business reading.
I'm so sorry, I didn't evenknow I was getting this.
Yeah, so I'm going to tap in,I'm going to give you a business
reading and then I'm going toask you an important question.
Shari Teigman (39:15):
Before we do this
, I just want the listeners to
know that nothing Amber doesscares me, because she was
sitting in my living room andsaid your grandmother just
walked in the room.
So, like we, I've been downevery room.
My grandmother's dead, by theway, I love her very much, for
my grandmother and grandfatherjust strolled in to say hi to
Amber in spirit while she was inmy living room.
So there's nothing in theswimming can say to me that
(39:36):
would scare me let's go.
Who's in the room, baby?
Amber Annette (39:40):
You'll see.
You'll see, all right, so letme tap in here.
Oh, you are about to have yourmind, okay, so this might scare
you.
Actually, I feel like 2024 isgoing, in the best possible way,
(40:01):
be flipped upside down, likewhat you think you're doing
right now is not even close toespecially, I would say, about
this time next year what you'llbe doing.
It is something I would almostsay like completely different.
But I don't want you to thinkyou're not going to be like
still in your gifts or in yourlike creative zone of genius,
(40:22):
absolutely hands down.
But there is something aroundMarch that is going to come to
you that you are like holy sh,like it just changes the whole
direction of your life inbusiness.
I think there might be apermanent move also happening
(40:44):
around that same time.
So there's that.
I feel like there is alsosomething to do.
The universe really wants youto like lean in to either I
can't tell if this is like moremusic, or there's something
about music, or maybe soundhealing.
So I feel like there'ssomething in that for you that
(41:09):
can shift something within yourbody.
Shari Teigman (41:13):
Amazing, I'm in.
Amber Annette (41:14):
So we can, we
just I want to talk about, I
want you to lean into that, findthat a little bit more.
The other thing is, I'm reallyfeeling like and this is not
something I don't think I'veever saw for anybody, especially
in this podcast, before but ityou have to trust me when I tell
(41:35):
you right now you have to startdoing breathwork as soon as we
are done with this call today.
There is something absolutelylike releasing and healing that
happens to your body on aphysical level when you start
doing it.
That is going to bring on aversion of you that you had no
idea was like you.
There is like things have beengood up to this point.
(41:58):
It is going to be likerevolutionary, revolutionary,
amazing.
I'm in, thank you yes.
I feel like you might haveresistance to doing things for
yourself right now, for your ownbusiness, since you are highly
(42:18):
connected with this UK coachingcompany and you have a roster
full of amazing clients.
But you have to write.
Shari Teigman (42:28):
You have to write
.
I didn't tell her before, sothis is not staged, but book
number one is coming out for my10th anniversary.
I haven't started writing it.
It's been mapped out for fouryears and so I'm starting.
I got a special keyboard andeverything that is coming, so
it's about to start beingwritten.
Interestingly, I was going tostart on Monday, so now I'm
really going to start on Monday.
Amber Annette (42:50):
Not only should
you start on Monday, but I am
going to give you a formalinvitation here on the podcast
to come and stay with me andfinish it.
When you were talking about thecabin and the water, no, I have
clean water.
I don't have dirty cabin water.
But I saw you in my kitchengetting water.
Shari Teigman (43:10):
Well, I love it.
It's been in my kitchen.
I feel like I need to turn inyour.
Amber Annette (43:13):
I'm dead serious.
But if you like, I'm going toshow you like, look at these.
Like, I mean, like the it is,it is just beautiful here.
So come and stay with me andwrite some of that book.
Shari Teigman (43:23):
Thank you my love
.
I would love it.
Amber Annette (43:27):
All right, are
you ready for the question?
Shari Teigman (43:29):
I'm ready for the
question.
Kind of looking your face, I'mnot sure.
Amber Annette (43:34):
My eyes are
closed because I'm totally
tapped in.
If you could connect to anyonein spirit, whether it be a past
loved one, a celebrity, anyone,and receive a message from them,
who would it be?
Shari Teigman (43:51):
It's always my
great mother.
Amber Annette (43:57):
They have both
crossed over.
Is that correct?
Yes, okay, so I have both ofthem here.
One talks in like a very, likea very strong accent to me, like
that's the one, yeah, okay,that's the one, okay, it's what.
Shari Teigman (44:16):
She's Polish.
Amber Annette (44:18):
Oh, my God, was
she a good cook.
Did you do you cook?
Did you learn to cook from her?
Yeah, okay, so she shows melike your kitchen.
She is like never not with youwhen you are in your kitchen.
So first and foremost, she alsokind of comes to like her, her,
(44:41):
her neck.
Can you tell me why she wouldcome to her neck?
Is there a neck?
Shari Teigman (44:45):
or something.
She was a Holocaust survivorand so I have her ring from.
We don't have a lot of stufffrom that time.
We lost our whole family.
So there was one necklace thatshe wore and a ring and it's
crazy to say, because my momgifted me both and I wear the
ring whenever I go on stage.
It's like my Wonder Woman cuff.
But just recently, on my lastUK trip was a few weeks ago I
(45:06):
had just this feeling.
I've never worn the necklace.
I just took it out about amonth ago and started wearing it
and it's in my bag.
I haven't worn it since butunbelievable, it's very heavy.
So it was just like thispresence on my chest and she had
a lot of PTSD obviously andanxiety and breathing was hard
for her.
So she would like hold herselfa lot and like try to catch her
(45:30):
breath.
So your, your hand is sittingwhere her hand used to go and
the necklace was a long necklaceso it was like sit right here.
So her hand was always on thenecklace, like that.
Amber Annette (45:39):
I think it's also
really interesting.
I brought up breath work foryou.
Shari Teigman (45:44):
Yeah, 100%.
Amber Annette (45:48):
She's so proud of
you, but you, you still have,
you still have a lot of miles infront of you.
She's with you every singlemile.
I feel like she had to walk alot in her life, yeah, and then
(46:12):
after life she could still workwith you.
Shari Teigman (46:14):
She was tinier
than I am.
If she was up to my shoulder,I'm four left for those who
don't know.
Amber Annette (46:19):
Yes, I think
you're the old, I'm five one,
and I think you're the onlyperson in my life, other than my
nine year old son, who is likeshorter than me.
Shari Teigman (46:28):
For now I feel
like Riker's going to pass us
both very quickly Very soon,very soon.
Amber Annette (46:34):
Oh, my goodness,
I'm glad you're crying.
It wouldn't be an episode ofthe business psychic if I didn't
have my guest crying.
So thank you, thank you andthank you for being here.
This was absolutely magical.
I'm going to share one morething with my listeners.
So this is something new I'vestarted adding.
(46:54):
I want you to go find your sign,and this was something really
unique that I wanted to startgiving during the podcast.
You know, every week finding asign from the universe that
you're aligned, you're moving inthe right direction, you're on
the right path.
We all want those like momentsof evidence, and this week you
(47:15):
can't see it now, but behindSherry, I have been drawn to
this white stuffed heart thewhole time, and so my I want you
to go find your sign this week,which is a white heart, and
when you see it, own it, knowit's for you, know you are
aligned, know you are heading inthe right direction and the
universe is totally supportingyou and all of your dreams and
(47:36):
in all of your magic.
So until then, go see your sign, see you next week.
Thanks for listening to thisepisode.
I hope it inspired and ignitedyour entrepreneurial spirit, in
turn of your intuition and trustin the universe.
Make sure to check out the shownotes section for access to my
(47:58):
transformation suite All of freeresources, tools and content to
help you grow your businesswhile staying true to your
soul's purpose.
Until next week, go make somebusiness magic full sister.