S4E04A - Licence to Bang - The Cacophony Sessions

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
audioAlexEvens21856375031 (00:00):
I can't wait to talk about James

(00:01):
Bond cuz he's so cool and sexyand he just reminds me of
Martin.
But 10 years older.

audioDanielWhitell41856375 (00:08):
What Martin's

audioDanB31856375031 (00:08):
one is 10 years older?

audiomartynley51856375031 (00:10):
I.

Daniel Craig looks like a fucking
Ballsack

audioDanB31856375031 (00:13):
I wish my ball sack looked that good.

had

Yeah.

That's what he looks like.

You'd have some good looking poles
especially if they come out ofthe water in those Speedos.

you can be as ripped as you want,
but you can't get rid of that.
Just Irish pasty a bit Frecklyskin.
That's the same I've got, youcan't get rid of that in a gym
can you?
And he never

Well, it's what South Park refers to
as a a

a superior bond.

audioDanB31856375031 (00:38):
Oh, fair to start that shit.

I've only seen two James Bond movies.
I've seen Casino Royale and I've

audioDanB31856375031 (00:45):
The best one

The Man with the Golden Gun.
Yeah.

You haven't seen any Piercen ones

I tried to watch World is not
Enough and Is that the one withthe Speedboat

Oh, I love the stealth speed.
That's my

Oh

audioDanB31856375031 (00:57):
is that The Eden Project one.

woman

I didn't get that far.
I turned it off after about 20minutes.
It was rubbish.
The name's Pump Golden Epu, alsoknown as Dan Whittle.

(01:22):
And this is season four, episodefour of the Cacophony Sessions
podcast.
I've been expecting you.
Today we are ranking the themesfrom all 25 James Bond movies.
So grab a dry martini as weseparate the rump shakers from
the rump stairs for your earsonly.
Which songs leave us thinkingnobody does it better and which

(01:42):
ones leave us supplying for alicense to kill.
we'll be scoring them all outta10 to find out we don't have all
the time in the world.
So let's meet the rest oftonight's cast.
Joining me for this one.
Tom.

audioTom11856375031 (01:52):
I'm just a normal functioning member of the
human race, and there's no wayanyone can prove otherwise.

Actually's.
Probably the best one you'vedone actually sums you up better
as well,

audioTom11856375031 (02:03):
I know.
I thought that was quite good.
All right.
I thought that and I was like,yep, that will do.

Alex,

right?
I'm here.
Where were your other two?
ROEs

you've used that one before.

I thought actually.
Yeah.

Yeah.
You've

It's a classic.
I'm, It's a cool back, it's acomedy thing.
It's cool on purpose.

Dan B

audioDanB31856375031 (02:22):
Pub quiz didn't go well.
The Quizmaster asked me Name abond villain.
He just wouldn't take no for ananswer.

Oh God.

I enjoyed that.

audioDanB31856375031 (02:30):
Thank you.
Yeah, that's a bond relatedjoke.

That was so good.

audioDanB31856375031 (02:35):
You gotta theme these things.

and returning it is Martin.

Hi, I'm Martin and my favorite band
is to Beastie Boys cuz I'mlicensed to Ill.
See what I did there.
Bond license to kill Ill, ohfuck

I think, wasn't that the point in
their joke in the first place?

Maybe.
I

cringe and Dan's, but I wasn't sure it
was on purpose.

I put work into that one man.

Maybe you should go back to the
approach of not putting anyeffort in.

We should send him away for another
podcast or two.
He isn't right yet.

It sounds like we need a bit of a
warmup.
So as usual, we're gonna kickthings off with a game that
takes a song off the top ofsomeone's head and asks, does it
slap?
who's up?

Oh, I'll go then.
Cuz no one else is I've beenlistening to a lot of gold frat
lately because she's got a newsolo album coming out and Ride
White Horse by Gold Frap is aundeniable banger.

yeah.

audioTom11856375031 (03:38):
Yeah.

Yeah.

Which one's that one?
How's that one go?

This their disco beat with a sexy
woman singing on it.
That's all you need to know.

Is that the one that goes?
Yeah.
Now I, it was Silver SomethingMachine.

Strict

that's strip machine,

the only song by golf wrap.
I know.

that could have been a, that could

that's a, that's also a bang

No.
Fuck.
I don't, I hate that song.

Oh, if you don't like that, you're
probably not gonna like ride awhite horse.
It doesn't sound like it's anundeniable banger by Alan Dan
standards.

Alright.
I'll choose another one.
Smoke code by the chats that'sgoing

Oh,

Yeah.
Yeah.

that's easy.

A hundred percent.

paste.
Both albums

Yes.
Yeah.

I'm on Smoke Ho Libby alone.

I fucking love that song so much.
Yeah.
I love that band.
They're a great band.

Yeah.
Fantastic band.

audioDanB31856375031 (04:28):
I'm enjoying ride a white horse, if
that helps.

Have just listened to it and I
personally think it's a bit bad,but I don't like gold.
Fra, I'm kind, doing what Tomdid with I have Tiger.
If you don't like it, don't.

audioTom11856375031 (04:39):
Yeah.

So it's a no on that one then.

audioTom11856375031 (04:41):
But I think Smoke Ho by the chats did make
it in

that, that should

audioTom11856375031 (04:46):
and that should probably have been in
there already.

by the way I watched a Run DMC
documentary last night.
It's on YouTube.
I feel like we should put RunDMC song on the Bang a can't
remember the song.
I like what it's called now songactually ruining.
it's like that.
No, not like that.
That's not them.

audioDanB31856375031 (05:06):
and that's the way it is.

Imagine Know It is.

I prefer hard times off.
The first album is

hard times is good.
It's tricky.

Oh, that's a good one.

I think

I,

likes, it's

like that song.

tougher than leather.
The track off of Tougher thanLeather.

I think Tricky is the one that
most people would've heard

What about Walk This Way with There
Smith?

There you go.

I

audioDanB31856375031 (05:28):
I love that song.
But it's an Aerosmith song,isn't it?

It is an Aerosmith song.
They brought it back into thepublic consciousness.

versions

we should put that cuz that
essentially I'm not sure whatpeople are happy with it or not.
Nowadays it seems everyone seemsto be happy with it, but that
kind of created new metal.
So

It's the first rap

Yeah.

yeah.
How's Not Me?
This Rat Metal song.
Really?

Yeah, I think, we'll, I think we, we
will have walked this way.
It's tricky as

audioTom11856375031 (05:53):
Yeah.

Yeah.
It is tricky.
I'll go for that.

but it's tricky.
It's pretty weak.
I mean it's like that.
It's my favorite, but

audioTom11856375031 (05:59):
weirdly, I'd go, it's tricky.
Or it's like that over a

audioDanB31856375031 (06:03):
I think it's like that.
Yeah.

We've done the we've discussed

audioDanB31856375031 (06:06):
Time is a flat circle or something.

I did see Todd in the Shadows, did
a video the other day actually,

what I watched.
Yeah that's exactly what Iwatched.
yeah,

his review of their train record,
which is Crown Loyal, which cameout in 2001.
And that was the end of theircareer Darryl didn't do anything
on the album,

It was really sad to see the demise
of D M C, he was powerful, butit was due to his ill health

it was also the fact that he didn't
wanna record crossover stufflike, Steven Jenkins from Third
Eye Blind was the

I know, right?

Not great.
I like

Blind seems like one of those that
Martin would like

fuck off.
No, I would not like them.
Why would I

no, but no, I'm not saying like we'd
think you'd like those band thatyou'd weirdly love and we would
have to then just tell you offin the next six months.

Semi Child Life is an undeniable
banger.
I'm just putting out

No.
Third eye blind for me.

anyway, Let's find out briefly what
everyone's been up to since welast recorded.
Martin, let's start with you.

We're released our ep foreign Voices.
Yeah.
We're a indie rock band from theSouthwest.
Check us out.
We're on Spotify, YouTube,music, and Apple Music.
We're on all across theplatforms.
Check us out.
Yeah.

audioTom11856375031 (07:12):
so much better than this, than I was.

is this count as a paid ad.

sounded so weird coming from someone on
the podcast.
That's not me.
half expecting you to say like,and subscribe as well.

I do that as well.
yeah,

So,

audioDanB31856375031 (07:24):
about cardigans.

that's what's been going on with me.
I had a bit of a battle withmyself thinking, am I being a
narcissist by listening to itconstantly?
And I'm like no, I'm fuckingproud of it.
It's fucking amazing.
And I don't just listen to myguitar parts, which are
excellent, but I listen to thewhole thing,

I imagine you've got your EQ set
up so that you take all the baitout all the drums and it's just
your guitar.

Yeah.
But you are at the startingphase, even if it's like a
rehearsal video just on yourplay, not video, but on your
phone, and you go, oh, thissounds wicked.
Everyone in the band overlistens to it, to the point they
think the song shit.
You haven't got the point whereyou think stuff's shit yet, but
you will get there.

No, we won't.
We won't.
I'll tell you why.
Because our stuff is not shit.
It's fucking brilliant

Yeah.
I guarantee you at some pointafter your hundredth, you'll
think goes

Yeah,

all you,

mate.
I'm already there.
I listened to it I hear a littlebit and I'm like, oh, I could
have done that different, oh, Imissed a note.

On one of my last band's eps, one
of my drumsticks hit the rimslightly on a fill and that's
all I can hear is the fuckingrim shot on that mid fill and it
just ugh,

audioDanB31856375031 (08:34):
How are you not still in prison?

Drives me nuts.

audioTom11856375031 (08:37):
fortunately we're back in the studio again
the first week in August.
We'll have some new stuff tolisten to then we won't get too
bored with this one.

We finally found our feet with the
writing process.
I won't go into it, but it justworks for us.
And it's very challenging aswell especially for me because
it's usually Tom and Ian, theydo the groundwork and then I
have to come in and fit stuffover it.
And then I've even Ian standingover my shoulder going, oh,
maybe you should try thatdifferent me.

(09:06):
yeah,

audioTom11856375031 (09:07):
sound like that.
He's from Blackpool

Yeah, no.
The weird thing is thatRadiohead have always been one
of my favorite bands of all timewhen I got into them.
And I found myself notintentionally being like a mix
between Ed O'Brien and JohnnyGreenwood whenever I pick up the
guitar now.
And, which is really nicebecause I've just felt recently
my playing has just transcendedwhat I ever thought I could ever

(09:32):
do.
I'm looking forward to goingback in the studio again and
making some new music.

Sounds

Oh,

Annoyingly, I've listened to more music this
month than I ever have, and Ifeel the light of me cannot
remember one album, album Ibloody listened to because this
happened to me.
One thing I do rememberlistening to is the New Drain
album, you remember it was oneof my, it was my favorite album
of my last trip of the yearbefore.

audioTom11856375031 (09:54):
Yeah.
And you and I are the only oneswho liked it.

oh God.
Yeah.
But they got a new album out.
They've had it recorded sincelike January.
But cuz they've signed to eta,they're doing it properly.
So they're waiting to, for agood release window or
something.
But they finally released it.
And I've been listening to Phil.
I've only got, it was what I wasdoing before this, after the
research we were doing, notresearch, listened to themes.

is research.

it is research.
Yeah.
But yeah, I'm only about sixsongs deep into it, but so far
it sounded pretty wicked.
And it'll probably be in myother year list cuz.
Yeah.
Bad.
they're a Swedish punk band.
I've listened to the newestalbum and it's wicked.
I basically I went on a YouTubejourney and it basically lined

(10:36):
up all the bands and like forall of them gave you like a 32nd
slice of each band.
And it was one band that reallystuck out to me cause it was pop
punk with a bit of s squeakinessinto it.
It was really good.
And I listened to the albumrecently sort thing.
I should have looked up before,but yes, check out the band.
They're very good.

Did you have a chance to listen to
the new Enter Sari album yet?

no I haven't because Andy, what I
like about in Shakara was thatthey were a bit emo in Sri with
a lot of the electronics andthey've gone into kind of weird

They've got good, basically

yeah, they've got full.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
Fair enough.
I'll give you that.
They have got good and people,they've gone to the point where
people like them now.
I don't like their newer stuff,so I do listen.
I've seen them live like fourtimes.

I thought you might say that

cuz they just, they play lot so I've
just seen them a lot.

never liked them, but I really liked
the new album.
I thought it was quite good.

audioTom11856375031 (11:29):
I like a couple of tracks on it, but I,
the couple of tracks I like arethe ones that sound like they're
older stuff, whereas they'reprobably the two tracks that
Dan's like, nah,

Yeah.
I haven't got my notes on thatto hand, but this, I'm pretty
sure that's exactly what itsays.

audioTom11856375031 (11:44):
think it's like track two and three the two
that I was like, yeah, I'm intothis.
And they're

Yeah.
I remember liking the firsttrack and then going, oh, no, I
think they're falling into thesame traps.
And then I was like, oh, nope.
No.
Okay.
They've recovered.

so sorry.
The band was the good, the bad,and the Ugly Research destroy
fucking awesome album.
Really recommend giving it a go.
You interrupt your line ofthought there, but I also
listened to to New Velo, is itVilla Velo of him?
Marger loved him.

yeah.

Viva, I said, Yeah.
I listened to his solo albumactually I've been listening to
it in the car on the way workingthat and that's quite good as
well.
I've never been a massive hymnfan, but I've never disliked him
either.
So I, but when I saw he had asolo album, I thought I'd give
him a go, cuz yeah, I'm reallyrecording anything like 10 years
or whatever and yeah, it's quitegood.
Have you like, chilled out himmstyle rock music and which is
quite inoffensive?

(12:30):
It's, yeah, it's quite good.
I quite enjoyed it.
I've fought, I soon see theHoosier at a festival recently
and I end up not doing it causeit was pissing and down we went
home, so I listened to theirmusic and I actually quite
enjoyed their unpopular albums.
And oh actually no bands newsfor me actually.
We found a singer that's cool.
we now have a final lineup.

(12:50):
We've got about five songsmusically written.
We need lyrics and we do it thisweekend and look forward to it.
So we'll see how it goes.
We'll see.

Done.

audioDanB31856375031 (13:00):
I've not been doing a lot as always cuz
you know, that's my life.
but I am wearing my aral jumper,which is cuz today the season
finished and

it took you this long to mention
them.

audioDanB31856375031 (13:10):
Come on.
We're just such a good team.
I don't need to bring it up allthe time.
Uh, Plymouth Aga won the league.

itself.

audioDanB31856375031 (13:17):
We we won the league again for the first
time in 19 years.
101 points.
First team in history to everwin more than a hundred points.
Twice.
That could be true.
It could not be,

a, a fact checker doesn't check
football so

audioDanB31856375031 (13:29):
Oh good.
I can say anything.
I want them.
They're the greatest team in theworld.
They were out drinking on thebarbecue with all the fans and
apparently the police shut itdown at 10 o'clock cuz the
police are annoying.
got to take my son to the game.
Fuck the police.
Exactly.

should

audioDanB31856375031 (13:42):
the Jana song should go on there.
If anybody hasn't heard theJanna song or how, what a song
that

I, don't think I could do that and
n

audioDanB31856375031 (13:49):
by the Barnett Brothers.
I think it needs to go on thedescription below, it's just
beautiful.
It's about the loveliest city inthe world, Plymouth and the fine
folk that live here.
Yeah I've also really cleverlysadly, whatever you wanna call
it, terribly getting old.
I've started making sourdough.

Oh, you

audioDanB31856375031 (14:09):
I am that person now.
I've start I've got a starter.
I've named it, I've been feedingit.
I've made at

you've got to the bread making phase of
your life.

audioDanB31856375031 (14:19):
It's such good bread.

God, that's so horrific.
I feel sad for you.

audioDanB31856375031 (14:23):
Yeah, I feel good.
the gluten is no good for you,Dan, but it's delicious.
I apologize in

why don't me laugh so much, dad in
this stupid gluten intolerantbody.
Why are you a pussy?
Fuck it.

Hey.
I prefer the term gluten freak.
Okay.

audioDanB31856375031 (14:41):
Okay.
Yes.

It's a disability.
Actually, sometimes I have apass off shit myself for three
days.

audioDanB31856375031 (14:50):
Call that a treat.

Tom.

audioDanB31856375031 (14:54):
Move on quickly.

audioTom11856375031 (14:56):
I haven't been listening to much new
release stuff.
Because obviously our band EPcame out on Friday and we did an
interview on Jan Radio Fridayevening.
The show's called, where are weGoing?
It wasn't recorded, but I thinkwe might be going back on at
some point.
Jan Radio, owned by OmniumRadio, which is a community
interest project in Plymouth.
That's definitely worth checkingout.

(15:17):
But I also bought possibly themost Dan Whittle bass guitar
that anyone has ever seen.

That is hideous.
Why'd you own that?

audioDanB31856375031 (15:28):
I quite like it.

like it.

You've

audioTom11856375031 (15:31):
so

diagonal threats.

audioTom11856375031 (15:33):
yeah, diagonal threats.
It's

audioDanB31856375031 (15:35):
Oh yeah.
Oh, weird.

audioTom11856375031 (15:36):
It's a Strandberg Bowen Original.
It's limited 10th anniversary,one of only five made in this
particular finish.
The reason I wanted it isbecause the fan threats give you
perfect intonation, which isreally useful when you're
playing low end.
And also if I turn it over theneck has a really weird pro.
You won't see it cause it's toodark.

(15:57):
But the neck has a really weirdprofile that encourages better
thumb position, which is gonnabe better for technical playing.
Also, it weighs nothing and cuzit has no headstock, it fits in
the boot of a car, which, if youare a bass player, you will
realize that is one of life'sconstant problems is that your
bloody bass guitar will not fitin the boot of a car.

(16:17):
You have to put the backseatsdown or across the backseat.
Not

the pickups not in line.
That upsets me.

audioTom11856375031 (16:24):
they're in line with the bridge.

I don't like your bass, Tom.
Sorry.

audioTom11856375031 (16:28):
I knew you wouldn't, but I knew Dan would
love it.
I bet.
Dan's like, that's a cool bassguitar.

It, It's a cool bass guitar.
it's way more in line with theBootsy Collins space base that
kind of look to an instrument,which I'm down with.
I do like silly instruments aswell, like princess symbol
guitar and just outrageouspersonal icons being the
instruments themselves.
As much as I don't like BrianMay the guitar that he's made
himself and added to over yearsis cool.

(16:54):
Yeah.
It's a cool bass.

audioTom11856375031 (16:56):
The other thing actually is that I decided
to sell my record collectionwhich I've been building up over
a 30 year period.
Cause I just came to thisconclusion that I was sat
looking at on a shelf.
And you go through and yourealize that you've got stuff
that people would probably killto listen to.
So for example a friend ofmine's listing it off for me on
eBay because I amtechnologically incompetent.

(17:18):
For example, I have the original1989 light into dark Chicago
compilation LP on vinyl in mintcondition.
That's the first time SmashingPumpkins wherever on re released
on record.
I have their very first seveninch single, I have churches
very first 10 inch single, andall of it is going to be being
listed on eBay.
so yeah, go and check that out.

(17:39):
We'll put the link in thedescription below.
But yes, please help me buy avan so my band can go to
recording studios and gigsplease.
Thank you.
My plan was I want to buy a vanfor gigging, but I work for
theater companies playing piano.
But cause I'm self-employedanother job and I have income
protection and things like that,I can't take any money from

(18:00):
that.
So I support some othercharities.
Because I can't get paid forplaying the piano for theater
companies because it wouldinvalidate my income protection
from my other job.
all the money I receive fromthat goes to charity.
So once I've sold my recordcollection, I will buy a van.
I'll probably buy a base six andanything that's left because an
Eastwood TB 64, cuz everyoneneeds one.
Peter Hook had one, everyoneneeds one.

(18:22):
Once I've done that, anythingthat's left over that I don't
need will probably go to Cry,which is a charity called
Cardiovascular Risk in theYoung, cuz all my income from
playing piano goes to that.
And they're a charity that gointo schools to do ECGs, to look
for like undiagnosed heartproblems.
So they can be caught earlywhich is a really good thing to

(18:42):
do.
Anything left over will probablygo to them, if I'm honest,
because they're a good charity,they're worth supporting.
please give me money to buy avan.
Once I support a van, give memoney to give to charity.

Tom, you're gonna be a man with a
van.
Hang on a second, Dan.
If we buy that, if we buy Ven,does that make us den with Ven?
maybe, Maybe not.
By the sounds of it, we'll havelots of links below for various
causes.
One of which, is the Patreon.
You can give five pound a monthand you get full episodes of
this in their video.

(19:13):
Glory The audio from everyepisode is still gonna be
uploaded as usual on all podcastplatforms, and you can still
find the opening segments ofeach one on the YouTube channel.
cacophony Sessions tv.
We've had 13,000 people watchthe Beatles episode recently.
So thanks for everybody who hassupported us on YouTube.
subscribe, comment, share itaround, and give us a review on

(19:37):
a channel which allows you to doso.
for instance, apple Music.
Give us a review on that.
Couple of things from me interms of news.
We wa we are gonna do a cat newsagain.
We'll be rolling that out everysix weeks or so to give you a
more in-depth flow down on newreleases.
I absolutely love Jesse Wearsnew album.
That feels good.
I think by far and away I can'tsee anything being released

(19:59):
that's gonna come even close tothat.
I've scored it like a 9.6, it'san incredible record.

good.

It's a beauty.
It's a beauty.
I loved it.
did, I slate Jesse Ware Tomsaid, I hated on Jesse Ware in
one of our previous

To be fair, you hate on most new music
in every episode.
I feel like you have a, I can'tbe bothered to do research mode
and then you just hate,

Of course I do.

audioTom11856375031 (20:21):
Jesse where was nominated on the album of
the year?
Two years ago.
Three years ago.
2020.
So yeah.
Two, two and a half years ago.
And I think most people hated onit.
Did it even make the top 10?
I think it.
scraped.
Yeah,

yeah, I think it was number 10

audioTom11856375031 (20:37):
I think it scraped in at 10 cuz everyone
stated it and Dan scored itreally high.
Martin was round here, was roundat mine the other night for
writing.
And you post about Jesse Wareand he was like, oh, I really
excited.
I really liked Jesse Ware.
And I was like, do you, cuz youdidn't come out like you did two
years ago.
You weren't very kind about thatalbum.

(20:57):
Mine.

I was down on it.
But man, like the new album'samazing.
It's got that whole moderndisco.

a

Female vocals thing.
Yeah, it's fucking beautiful.
I like it.
I think it's about when youlisten to something, sometimes
something hits and sometimes itmisses and I think at the time
it missed, but now I'm in abetter place.
It, It fits better.

Couple of people to mention that have
died in the music industryrecently Harry Belafonte who is
a Calypso legend, everybodyknows Jump in the line from
Beetlejuice and deo the BananaBoat song.
Some absolute classics.
And also Gordon Lightfoot aswell, Canadian singer songwriter
who's a very influential folkmusician as well.

(21:38):
We're also doing an interviewwith the scribes who are playing
Cosmic Kitchen in Plymouth onthe 26th of May.
Are we backstage with them doingan interview about their
appearance at Glastonbury aswell, so there's that to look
forward to.

By the way, I'm sure the venue's
very good, but I've been thereto eat, cosmic Kitchen, you
should never charge.
12 pound For a fucking wrap.
Continue on.
Continue.
It was very important to.

Yep, they do.
And what is that you need toknow?
I hear you ask.
It's all our social details.
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(22:24):
Speaking of which, it's time torank the I would say the top 25
bond themes, but they're only 25bond themes.
So it's all the bond themes,chronologically discussed and
then ranked just for you,

audioDanB31856375031 (22:36):
nobody does it better than the Coffy
sessions.

well, maybe, Tonight we're gonna go
through all 25 James Bond movie,starting with 1960 twos, Dr.
No through to the most recentmovie being No Time to Die.

(23:02):
To give you a little bit ofcontext before we start going
through the list, I can't saythat I'm a James Bond fan at
all.
This is purely about the songsthemselves.
I don't have any particularmemories of any of the films.
I've seen Casino Royale, which Ithink is an excellent film, and
I've seen The Man with theGolden Gun, which I don't think
is an excellent film.
And that's it.
Is anybody else, a particulariono when it comes to James Bond

(23:25):
that we we can count on as theexpert when it comes to the
movies or anything?

audioTom11856375031 (23:28):
I saw them all up to Skyfall

audioDanB31856375031 (23:31):
I've seen every single one, but other than
Casino Royale, which I've seen50 times, I think I've only seen
the others about

audioTom11856375031 (23:38):
can we just be clear which casino?

audioDanB31856375031 (23:40):
Craig one.

audioTom11856375031 (23:40):
All right, cool.
Because, because when Dan goes,I've only seen Casino Royal and
my instant assumption with itbeing Dan is that it's not the
Daniel Craig.

The original casino rail it was
based on the book, but it wasn'tin it with the series.
So it, I

it's not in, the official cannon of
James Bond.
It's more of a parody.

Yeah.

audioDanB31856375031 (24:00):
it's non Marvel universe.

You guys got me beat because I think
everyone's favorite bond is theone they grew up with.
So a lot of people were like,Sean Connery or they thought
Roger

audioTom11856375031 (24:09):
Timothy Dalton for me.

But for me it was Pierce Bron.
I started with Golden Eye andjust loved them all so well,
except for that last one he did.
That was shit.

as someone that was born in 1974 my
whole childhood was basicallyChristmas time bond movies
always on.
And yeah, they were fun and theywere okay, but because I was
more into sci-fi and I was moreinto Star Trek and stuff it was
always something that would beon, I'd watch it and I'd watch
the cool stunts and stuff andthen completely forget about

(24:38):
absolutely no meaning, nosubstance whatsoever for me.
I'm not a Bond fan, although myfavorite James Bond is Roger
Moore, which is problematicbecause he's the most
problematic bond, if any ofthem, actually probably, it's
not Sean Connery in it.
Sean Connery is the wife beat,isn't he?
like the Beatles episode?
I always go for the problematicpeople.

audioTom11856375031 (25:00):
just go for the domestic abuse angle every
time.

audioDanB31856375031 (25:03):
What was the quote about John Lennon last
time?

Do you know why I love The Beatles?
John Allen was not a niceperson.
In fact, he was a domesticabuser.
I think that's the exact quote.
Let's see if we could try andget through these 25 songs
without any combinations ofdomestic abuse.
We'll see.
in a departure from our usualway of doing this, I don't
actually know what people havescored this.

(25:27):
We're not doing it in the orderin which they've been ranked.
I'm gonna go through it inchronological order, and I'll
find out everybody's shitopinions at the same time as
you, the audience.
We'll start with the first one,which is the obvious place to
start.
In 1962, this is actually alittle bit different from the
rest of them.
It is not a vocal theme.
The original Dr No Movie, thetheme tune is the James Bond

(25:50):
theme which is the famous pieceof music by John Barry was
actually written by Monty Normanand arranged by John Barry in
his orchestra.
Norman has actually successfullylitigated a couple of times.
The Sunday Times in 2001 beingone of the cases when newspapers
have implied that.
It's actually written by JohnBarry.
So let's make that clear.
It was written by Monty Normanand arranged by John Barry.

(26:13):
It's the James Bond thing.
Everybody knows this, right?
I scored it a nine.
I can't score it a 10, but it'san iconic piece of music.

audioDanB31856375031 (26:22):
I have two strong opinions on this.
Firstly, it's a 10.
Secondly, it probably shouldn'tbe on the list because it's
different to all the others, andit's the theme for the entire
series rather than just for thisfilm.
It's just the iconic bond music.
And I don't think

Yeah, but it sets the benchmark for
what we are essentially going tobe judging it against.
Cause we can all agree that thebond theme's fantastic.
And even though when you listento this version, it's yeah, that
is the James Bond theme.
That is good.
Everyone can recognize it, noone can dislike it.

audioTom11856375031 (26:54):
I gave it a seven.
And the reasons.
That's actually one of myhighest scores I gave to be
fair.
And that's because I needed toset it.
There are a lot of things onthis list I like more than it,
and there are a lot of things Ilike less than it.
So I was like, seven is a goodscore.
It's a good piece of music, butvery much of its time.
You think that this song with,what John Barry's done with the

(27:15):
Brass orchestration is very muchin the vein of what people like
Henry Mancini was doing with thePink Panther.
There are several James Bondthemes.
Actually most of them in theearly days are encapsulating
what's going on in music at thetime.
That sort of big band sound is,yeah, Henry Mancini is the
perfect example, was the bigthing.
The Pink Panther was recorded in1963 and this probably

(27:37):
influenced it.
What's interesting with thisparticular piece is that the
reason why Monty Norman iscredited as the writer of the
piece is actually from theguitar line because he wrote the
guitar line for a musical beforebased on a book about an Indian

(27:57):
family living in Trinidad.
So he wrote the original scorefor the film Dr No, based on
Caribbean rhythms.
And that's why that guitar linereally stands out is because
it's built around a sort of aCaribbean meats South Asian
rhythm, which is why it sticksin our heads because it wasn't
really anything else at the sametime.

(28:20):
The Brass all comes from JohnBarry really.
And and that brass carries onfor.
A long time in the films andactually John Barry who did
what, 11 of the James Bondfilms.
gradually, if you listen to howthat the theme evolves
throughout the series, theguitar gets less prominent and

(28:42):
the brass start taking over thethemes that the

Yeah.

audioTom11856375031 (28:47):
being played on the brass later on and
less on the guitar.
Just out of interest.
I was gonna say yes.
Fuck you Graham.
I did, I know this stuffalready.
I don't need to do research orlook at my notes and learn what
a cardigan is.

Okay.
Should we acknowledge thisbecause we are probably
referencing it.
Okay.
Because we're getting not me.
Cause I wasn't on the one thatwas actually got views.
The YouTube video got over13,000 views as of recording
this.
And we've had two comments bythe same person.
Is it Graham, is it described aswearing a bad cardigan and
probably listening to

audioTom11856375031 (29:21):
I dunno if he was describing me, just
firstly, I wasn't wearing acardigan.
Secondly, I don't like

he also couldn't have been
describing me because I waswearing a cardigan, but it
certainly wasn't a

we, are kind of new to online
criticism and Fry has maybe beena bit but hurt by it.
So please keep commentingGraham, because you will,

about our cardigans.

you'll get reported on it.

audioDanB31856375031 (29:47):
I don't own a cardigan.
This is a jumper

I have noticed that Fry isn't
wearing his knot cardigan today,so maybe it works, maybe we're
getting better now cuz ofGraham,

audioTom11856375031 (29:57):
it's warm enough.
I don't need to wear a jumperanymore.
I don't own a cardigan, so Idon't know what one is.
A cardigan is a jumper thatopens at the front and I don't
own a single one.

I Think it's ironic that the fact
that I both own and proudly weara cardigan.
I don't like the Beatles at all.
And I also am a massive blurfan, which is that whole comment
thing was quite hilarious to me.
But, God bless him, and Iwelcome, I absolutely welcome
people commenting on our stuff.

(30:27):
And Graham, whoever you are, youknow, good bless you, man.
I already like the guy, he is,he's a dude.
But no as for the theme tuneyeah, I like big band music.
I like how it's arranged andit's very complex, extremely
complex music.
And I give it a 10, not becauseI like it, but because I
appreciate how it was made, howit was put together.
And also that guitar part isalmost like surf guitar.

(30:50):
You know, the dick thing.
yeah.
And if you're a guitar playerand you're learning, it's one of
the first things you'd learn onthe one string thing.
I never did myself, but it issomething that you do.
So yeah, I'll give it a 10 andonly because I don't like it.
I'll never listen to it.
But when it comes on, you knowwhat it is, you know what it's
about.
And I appreciate more thananything, the whole artistry

(31:12):
that went into the whole bigband arrangement thing is
there's fewer things, moredifficult to arrange than big
band.
There's a lot of noise going on.
How do you make so many massiveinstruments sound totally in
tune?
Totally in time.
Totally fucking the wholedynamics, just, great.

audioTom11856375031 (31:29):
Scoring for orchestra is a skill in and of
itself, but it is something thatis most of the great composers
and conductors taught.
The guitar line is Vic Flick andhe's playing some sort of weird
1939 electroacoustic

It's this surf rock man.
He's probably playing a e s 3 35that probably costs more than
your house.
he is doing his thing and it isperfect session musicianship.
But for me, it's just it's atheme tune.
There's business, there is soulto it, but I, it's, I wouldn't
listen to it as a standalonepiece.

right now we're essentially trying to
score it's almost like it'strying to score a national
anthem.
It's just okay, yeah.
It's good because that's how yourepresent this and

when you hear it, it's James Bond and
it's it is a perfect piece ofmusic in a lot of ways.
And if it was something thatwasn't associated with a film
franchise, you'd listen to itand go, my God, that is good,

it's instantly recognizable and I
don't care who the fuck you are.
No one doesn't just like,

Yeah.
And also it fits the theme ofthe franchise as well.
The spy who's a little bitdamaged and he is going out and
doing his thing and killing lotsof people and stuff.
It fits the whole like, idea ofwhat James Bond was so
perfectly.
I think it's one of the mostperfect theme tunes you could
possibly ever create.

I, I would agree, but actually, yeah.

Yeah, I agree.
And I think there's parts of ityou listen to and you're like,
oh, you can hear where used thisto make similar themes.
I, one that springs to mind ispolice squad.
can tell that there's certain,almost like leap motifs that are
taken from this.

when you listen to the tune, it's
almost like you can hear thenarrative of the film.
It starts off all likemysterious and then it goes all
dramatic, and then it goes intothe bit where there's some false
peril.
And then at the end you get thebit where the older man Seduces,
the vulnerable young woman andhe grooms her and stuff.
You get all that stuff in thereas well.

(33:23):
And it's just, it's thenarrative of a film,

I like it a

Bond film.

now that you've said that.

audioDanB31856375031 (33:29):
Yeah,

it's true.
That's what happens.

audioTom11856375031 (33:31):
my seventh.
Looking a lot better now.

Yeah.

audioDanB31856375031 (33:35):
It's great.
I still don't know if we shouldcount it because it's the theme
for all of the films.

We have to count it.

if that's number one, it doesn't
matter because Fair enough.
That's the benchmark is the bondtheme.
How close do we

audioDanB31856375031 (33:48):
True.
Okay.
I'd be fine with it.
It's amazing.
It's just, different.
In the film, if you've seen Dr.
No, it's quite good.
There's underneath the mangotree playing constantly
throughout it, which is anothertrack from the thing.
And that is like your classicCalypso kind of song.
It's not very good, but I almostfeel like if you watch the film
that's more the specific Dr.

(34:09):
Noe theme, whereas this is just,it's James Bond music.
I look, I've given it a

But there was no such James

audioDanB31856375031 (34:16):
I sort of have, yeah, I know, but I just
feel like it's it almost wins bydefault.
And then we should discuss theothers.
I dunno.

see what comes out of the scores.
next up was the film from Russiawith Love.
The theme to that is Matt Monroefrom Russia With Love from 1963.
I personally have this DownnessTesco value.
Andy Williams sings potentiallythe most boring bond theme that
there is.
I'm not a fan of this one.

I gave it a seven because I just
felt like it was really wellsung and it was really well made
and it was really well puttogether and it followed the
theme of the James Bond thing ofthat whole grandiose casino the,
of that era, wearing sharpsuits, doing the whole Ocean's
11th thing.
And I like the guy's voice andyeah, it was, the Pound shop,

(35:05):
Frank Sinatra, but I scored ithigh because I really enjoyed
listening to it.

audioTom11856375031 (35:10):
Let's be clear.
Frank Sinatra is my way.
Comes out in 69, right?
So is early era.
I'll be up front right now.
I gave this a five.
Matt Monroe is known as the Manwith the Golden Voice.
That was what he was called atthe time.
His voice is impeccable.

It just sounds like Andy Williams
to me.

That's not a bad thing

No, it's not but he's just not quite
as good.

audioTom11856375031 (35:33):
see, I think he's better, but not got
the songs that Andy Williams hasgot.
Every song that he's been given,he's done really well.
And this song reflects the factthat sort of bra pack crooner
thing was really big at thetime.
However, my problem with thissong is whenever you had like a
sixties or seventies sitcom thathad something set in a Greek
taverna that's what the backingtrack for this sounds like.

(35:55):
And you read the stories abouthow John Barry went to Turkey to
discover Turkish music becausethey had Caribbean music in Dr.
No, and they wanted to usesomething slightly different.
They wanted to go Turkish and itjust sounds like Greek tover
music from a shit 60 sitcom.
And Matt Monroe vocal cannotrescue that no matter how good

(36:17):
it is.

Yeah, Yeah, I got it.
A 5.4, so I actually liked itslightly more than you did, but

audioTom11856375031 (36:24):
My scores are a bit as almost my scores
are relative so if I givesomething a five, it's okay.

Yeah.
It's not the lowest score thatI've given something on this
list, but we'll get to thatlater.

I personally give this one a nine.
Cause I'm very much in theopinion that he's got a great
voice and his great song.
And I think when I was scoringthis, I think it was what I
perceive a bond theme should beto whether it's a good song or
not.
I haven't really scored whetherI like it as a song or not.
I've scored it whether it's agood bond theme or not.

(36:56):
Cuz how else can you is thememusic.
And look, he managed to get areally catchy lines Z with the,
title of the film.
The music's great.
His voice is just like meltingbutter.
It's incredible.

It's like Silk Man.

It's still, yeah.
If we're not talking going,we're not doing that stuff.
This is the first, it's got abit, for me personally, a Bon
Film's gonna be a bit sexysounding, a bit mysterious.

Yeah.

And just not too full on, but it's
gotta sound a bit big Bandy, andI dunno, forgive me, this nails
what a bond film should be.
It should name the title a lot,but in a catchy, not douchey
way.
I think this is absolutelyperfect like nine.
Cuz everything can be improvedupon except the original one
film.
It's great.
As a bond theme, that's what weshould think about this as and I

(37:46):
think this is good when I listento it, just in general, not
really no, but as a bond theme,if I listen to that in when the
credits coming up, it'd beperfect.
So that's my opinion.

yeah.
I see your point with that.
And I think maybe the reason Idon't really like this one, is
because I don't think I'd everactually heard it before.
I've definitely not seen thefilm, it doesn't seem
particularly bondy to me.

But what would Bondy be?

I don't know.
It's very difficult becauseyou've got that melodrama and
the brooding horns and all thatkind of thing.
And a lot of the later themes,and this does have it, it's
just, maybe because I haven'theard it before, the melody
doesn't seem so iconic, so itjust seems maybe a bit
forgettable.
Maybe if I'd heard it a hundredtimes.

I've never heard of film, but I've, I
think we should really put intoconcrete what we think a bond
film should be before we reallytalk about, I mean, for me it'd
be slightly somber, but catchy alot of horns to crescendos and
fucking even gong, it'scinematic.
Yeah.

audioDanB31856375031 (38:42):
Yep.

so that for me that's a bond theme.
Even if it's even the newerones,

I wouldn't say that it doesn't
sound like a James Bond thingbecause it certainly is.
It's just that lack offamiliarity with me means that
I'm not ranking it as highly cuzit's not so ingrained in my
brain, so it's not as catchy.
I'm in the unfortunate positionwhere I've actually been
listening to quite a lot of AndyWilliams recently, and I just
think their voices sound verysimilar.

(39:08):
I just think because AndyWilliams has more songs that I
know I prefer Andy Williams.
I think I've just done Matt Mosome dirty there.
And, It's not a bad song.
It's just not one that strikesme as particularly memorable.

All my scores are based to a event.
Is it a good bond theme comparedto you?
know what I mean?

Has played into my scoring in a lot
of songs.
There are certain songs which Ihave given higher scores because
I think they fit the brief alittle bit better.

audioTom11856375031 (39:34):
It depends how you define the brief.
So for me the thing with Dr.
No in 1962 and this one to adegree, Is that my favorite bond
themes are the ones that reflectthe music of the time that the
bond film is released.
Now, the thing is, there areseveral bond themes that you're
gonna see that are come uplater, that you will say, they

(39:54):
reference the horn sections fromthe bond theme.
They have the big band sound,which I'll mark really low.
Cause for me, a bond themereflects the time that the film
was made.
Not this ideal that was createdwith Dr.
Noe because what I'm looking forin a film, that's not to say

(40:15):
that either one is right orwrong.
I'm not suggesting that.
So when I look at James Bond, Ilook at, particularly through
the sixties, the sound of thethemes, apart from, there's one
exception to this in the sixtiesand seventies, which is gonna
come up very soon.
The sound of the themes changesthrough the sixties and

(40:35):
seventies.
the sound of the bond theme isreflecting the music of the
time.
Whereas now the music that weare creating for bond themes now
is reflecting the music.
That was

I disagree to a point because your
turn is, are reflective of the,of sound of time, but it's also
gotta sound a bit spy.
It doesn't matter if it's up andcoming music at a time.
It sounds cool when everyonelikes it.
If it doesn't sound like a spytheme.
everyone knows in the head whata spy theme should sound like,
and is the

the first song

unfortunate Doctor know.
Yeah.
That's the spy theme.
So I don't care what you'lllisten to now, anything that's
involves, internationalespionage or anything like that,
even it listens to, it sounds abit spy like, or they just, cave
in and just make a house likefem where it's ding ding, just
remix a I know remix a, um,

Well,

afex

yeah, exactly.
Yeah, just do that.
They'll remix some shit, butit's got sound a bit like a spy
film and some of these newsongs, I just don't think it
will, even if it's a new sound,you might go, that's quite a
good song.
It doesn't sound like a Bondtheme.

audioDanB31856375031 (41:39):
gave it a 6.5 kind of in the middle of you
guys, really, I like his voice.
I think it does have bondelements, but it doesn't really
go to quite the same heightsthat a lot of the others do

Yeah, I agree with that completely.
So we'll move on to the next 1,19 60 four's Goldfinger
soundtrack.
And of course, the song isGoldfinger by Shirley Bassey.
It is one of the most famous ofthe Bond themes.
I've not seen the film, but I'veheard this a million times, and
it's one of the definitive JamesBond themes.

(42:10):
I've scored it at eight.
I don't think it's particularlyspectacular and I don't think
it's the best Shirley Bassy Bondtheme but I think it's a very
strong song.

I scored it in eight because
exactly the same reasons thatyou just said.
I think it was fucking fantasticin the sense they carried on the
theme of what Al was sayingabout that whole spy thing.
And also it was the first onethat had a female vocalist and a
very strong female vocalistwhere.
James Bond is not just about thespies, the guns, and the,

(42:43):
fucking doing his stunts andstuff.
It's also about the femininity.
And I think this is where thatstrong female presence in the
theme team, hopefully I wouldthink carried over into the
films a little bit.
Probably not, but, I think it'sthe juxtaposition between the
very macho Sean Connery I'm aman, I'm fucking doing all this
stuff, but with the very and itis sexy.

(43:06):
Like it is, her vocals arefucking sexual as hell.
But also very powerful andstrong and be that being
involved in a bond theme wasprobably a bold move when they
first did it.
I don't know.
But it just, it worked for me.
I gave it a strong eight.

audioDanB31856375031 (43:21):
I just wanna say ba,

Yes.

audioDanB31856375031 (43:26):
that.
Amazing.
Like I've gone 8.5, ShirleyBass's voice is really powerful
too.
But the instrumental parts forme are just like, you hear that
and you, it just brings me backto my childhood.
And I think I did like thisShirley Bassy out of the trilogy
best, but yeah.
I like this one a lot.

It's one of those ones where it's
very iconic and everyone knowsit.
But I think I remember liking itmore than when I actually
listened to it it's actually notthat good a song.
It's all right.
The vocals are pretty good.
The chorus is good.
I, but lyrically it's a bitlike, yeah, the spider does this
and it's just a bit rubbish.

(44:05):
It's a little

I, think you have to get over that
with a lot of these songsbecause they're written about a
movie.

Yeah, but there are degrees of it.
And

Some, of them are nonsense, and

get, I gave this a seven because I do
think it's a good bond theme andit's iconic for a reason and all
that stuff.
But I, as I said, I'm scoringamongst bond films, so I'm not
scoring my personal opinions.
But it wasn't quite as good as Iremember it being.
And I was like yeah, I'll giveit a seven.
Cuz it is a good bond theme.
But I prefer the last one, fromRussia with Love.

(44:37):
I thought it was way better.

audioTom11856375031 (44:38):
I preferred the last one as well.
The only reason this song is inthe film is cuz they presented
it to Harry Saltzman, theProducer, too Late to get a
Replacement Cuz Harry Salzmann'sfirst response on hearing this
Was, that's the worst fuckingsong I've ever heard in my
fucking life.

Hmm.
he obviously hasn't listened toInsane Clown Posse, but

audioTom11856375031 (44:59):
but that, that didn't exist in 19

Pausing.
We're pausing your rant for ThatThat is not a flippant comment
you can make.
Hocus Pocus is a good song.
Continue.

audioTom11856375031 (45:09):
that is the actual response from the
producer of the film.
lyrics written by Anthony Newlyand Leslie Brickers, who's done
far better things.
I'm not sure an Anthony newlyhas, particularly with John
Barry.
So John Barry's horn parts arein it, which is great, but
that's pretty much the onlything that, that I'd like about
this song.
An Anthony newly recorded theoriginal demo vocals and then

(45:31):
refused to allow his vocals tobe used in the film because he
thought the lyrics for the songwere too weird in inverted
commerce.
So that tells you when Al goes,the lyrics for the song aren't
very good.
The lyrics for the song, eventhe guy who wrote them thought
they weren't very good.
My other problem with this songis that Shirley Bassey made her

(45:53):
name in musical theater in the1950s.
And so the way she performs thissong already sounded dated when
she did it.
She does do one of the threeher, one of her three Bond film
bond themes.
I do really like this, isn't it?
She just fucking belts it thewhole way through,

audioDanB31856375031 (46:14):
I did write, actually, this reminds me
of a musical.

audioTom11856375031 (46:17):
Yeah, but that's how, that's what she's,
that's what she's famous for.
And there's only one bond theme.
She doesn't do that on, and shedoes it on this one.
She made her name doing musicalsand yeah, this, she just belts
it the whole way through.
And the other interesting bit ofbit of trivia about this
particular song is that JimmyPage played acoustic guitar on

(46:39):
the soundtrack for thisparticular film, just out of
interest, although he doesn'tplay guitar on this track
because the guy who played thelead guitar on the film before
or was took precedence.
So it is Vic Flick, who was theguy who did the two previous
films.
Yeah.
So I gave it a four.

That's pretty rough.
That's pretty rough.

Still the first bond theme that had a
female vocalist.
It's still the first where itwas like, hang on, the female
protagonist of the film isimportant here, and that was
what it was alluding to.

you're sent out to Tom, but he's pretty
much thinking.
Yeah.
Like it's like I was the firstperson to The beds not good.

Okay.

Yeah,

point.

Another iconic James Bond theme.
At least by measure of the factthat I knew it before.
From 1965.
It is the title track fromThunderball called Thunderball,
and it's by Tom Jones.
I think it's brilliant.
Say whatever you like about TomJones.
I think he sounds fantastichere.
that last note is so powerful.
He actually fainted afterrecording it.
According to his own story.

(47:40):
Those opening horns are just, asfamiliar as the horns from the
previous track.
I can't quite get the AustinPowers use out of my head
though.
I always associate theThunderball opening with Austin
Powers because they use a lot ofThunderball music in that film.
I think it may be the secondone.
I scored this 8.3.
Again, I think the lyrics arenonsense.

(48:01):
Because I don't know the filmbut to me it sounds good.

I agree with you.
I scored it in eight justbecause it sounds amazing.
And his voice, he is belt in itout and you can't replicate that
really.
it's just really cool.
I thought actually I don'treally have much more to say
other than, again, the same withall of these tracks in the early
stages of James Bond.
it's a lot of instrumentation,it's a lot of orchestration.

(48:27):
Done really well with anextremely strong vocalist.

Yeah.

For me it's like the same from
Russia with love.
When you want a bond film, youwant song to sound a bit sexy, a
little bit mysterious.
And it has spy vibes all the waythrough the song, doesn't it?
We all know what a horrorsoundtrack sounds like, even if
there's about a thousanddifferent artists doing it.
It's one of those things.
Spy does have his own genre inhis zip great vocals.
Lyrics are a bit lacking asusual cause it's

Yeah.
you haven't seen the film,you're like, what is this about?

yeah.
But I, yeah, I think that'sreally good.
I gave this one an eight.
Yeah, no, I didn't give aneight.
Can I have a look on my phone?
It's Nate.
I gave this one.
as far as bond film themes go.
This is top tier.
Tom will agree cause he isrubbing his head a lot.

audioTom11856375031 (49:10):
Oh, no, I'm gonna sound like such an asshole

Yes, you will.
Yes you will.
I don't think you know what abond theme is supposed to sound

audioTom11856375031 (49:18):
Oh, hang on.
I've seen more bond films thanyou have.

Yeah, but you don't get the tone.
Apparently tone is a big dealwhen it comes to theme.

audioTom11856375031 (49:25):
my favorite bond themes come up later.
These are not them.
This one's not getting anybetter.
In fact, it gets worse.

Can we all disagree Tom's wrong for
this discussion?
And just take and just get ridof his scores

think he's just missed the memo.
These are bomb themes, not songsshould write as songs on their
own.

audioTom11856375031 (49:44):
my problem with this song right, is that
this song was originally sung byDionne Warwick, which would've
sounded fantastic.
But because her and ShirleyBassey fell out.
They sued each other.
So neither song got released,and then they called Tom Jones
in at the last minute.
It's so cobbled together.
Originally Leslie Brickers wrotethe lyrics to a song that was

(50:07):
going to be the theme tunecalled Mr.
Kiss Kiss Bang, which gotrejected by the producers.
Hardly surprising really, with atitle like that.
And they parachuted Don Blackenwith a couple of days to write
the lyrics.
and then they threw Tom Jones inwith a day to go and.
I will never like Tom Jones'vocal.
I just won't.
It's that sort of semio operaticstyle.

(50:29):
He's not perfect throughout it,but the tone of his voice just
turns me off.
I much prefer Matt Monroe vocal.
this style of music was alreadydated when this track came out.
The Beatles had just releasedRubber Soul when this track came
out, and the other thing thatannoys me is that Johnny Cash
submitted a song to be the themesong for this, where the lyrics
actually make sense.

(50:49):
He sings through the plot of thefilm, and you can actually hear
it on some of his live bootlegs.
So I'd much rather have JohnnyCash's song 2.5.

All of it doesn't make a difference
to whether the song's good ornot for a bond film.
Does it matter who originallywould've sang on it?

I also think, that Tom Jones is
more suitable for James bondingthan Dion Warwick.
She sound walk on by andheartbreaker.
and I, she's got a lovely

audioTom11856375031 (51:15):
doesn't,

it is not as powerful as Tom

audioTom11856375031 (51:17):
I did quite a lot of research for this one,
having gone through it.
Dion Warwick has been in therunning for the most Bond themes
without ever singing one.
Cuz the producers have wantedher on, like all of the films in
the sixties, in the earlyseventies.
Dion Warwick's always like thenumber one they want, who's
never done it.

I'm with Al on this.
I've done no research and I'mliterally just listened to the
songs based on the fact thatthey are just bond themes.
They're not songs that werereleased to be listened to as a
part on their own.
They were literally made to beplayed over the opening credits
with the circle and the guy withthe gun and the dancing girl

(51:55):
silhouettes and stuff.
And that's how I listen to them.

It'd be like judging Bonjovi that if
they did the Simpsons theme,you'd be like, you can't really
put it against their othercatalogs or who may or may not
have been put

Is

audioTom11856375031 (52:07):
Yeah.

bond theme or is it not?

audioTom11856375031 (52:08):
I don't like it I started watching with
the eighties bond films, so Ididn't start at the beginning.
I started with some films thatare gonna come up later.
And because I started with thefilms that come up later, the
films that come up later for meare better bond themes than
this.
And I stand by my score.

Totally respect your score, but I
literally have only listened tothese songs today.
Based on the fact that they arebond themes.
I've not listened to them asstandalone songs, which may be
wrong on my part,

audioDanB31856375031 (52:41):
I didn't love it either.
I'm not a big fan of Tom Jones'voice which I yeah, I probably
knocked it down a little bit forthat.
I didn't go 2.5, but I,

That was

audioDanB31856375031 (52:51):
I, I like I like the horns.
I like the bit of the beginning.
It's similar to the originalsoundtrack, isn't it?
The original so, but it doesn'tquite go there.
And like you said, it's likeAustin Powers, which, let's be
honest, the Austin Powers moviesare better than the bond movies.
Let's just throw that out there.
So everyone hates me.
I went 5.5,

Okay.

audioDanB31856375031 (53:09):
in the middle.

Next is the 1967 James Bond movie.
You only lived twice.
And the theme tuned to that wasFrank Sinatra's daughter, Nancy
with the song you only livedtwice.
I'd not heard this before.
Yes.
The first thing I noted is thatRobbie Williams sampled the
strings for the Hit Millennium,which is not a song I like, but

(53:31):
I actually like this.
It's the highest one I've scoredother than the James Bond theme
I think it's quite a nice sliceof sixties pop.
It brings in that fuzz guitartone.
And I think it's a good song.
It's not my favorite of thewhole bunch, but it's the first
one that sounds like acontemporary pop song as opposed
to a show tunes or a, a majorballad.
It's more, like a contemporarysong that's fitting in with the

(53:54):
sixties.
I like it because of that.
Again, lyrics, I can't reallyunderstand what it's getting at
and I haven't seen the film.
But Nancy Sinatra seems to do agood job.
Yeah, it definitely fits thebill.
I've scored it at 8.4.

Dan I gave it.
Simply because of all the thingsyou just said, it went away from
that whole big band, classicthirties thing to like
contemporary sixties music ofthe swinging sixties I like
Nancy Sinatra anyway, but it wastotally that whole like flowery
shirt, Mary Quant mini skirtthing going on, the whole like

(54:29):
Soho London bullshit or whateverwas going on back then, the
hipsters of their day maybe, butit was it's totally swinging
sixties London sound, and Ifucking loved it.
It's very retro and, but at thetime would've been extremely
contemporary.
They would've been influenced bythe likes of the psychedelia

(54:49):
that, the Rolling Stones we'replaying around with.
And Uni Velvet Underground were

Yeah.

audioTom11856375031 (54:53):
It's a little bit more.
So the reason why this songexists as it does, is because
John Barry, who is still one ofthe lead writers on it he did
all the other scores.
There's a really big shiftbetween the last film, this
film, and there is one reallyimportant film that John Barry
did between the last film andthis one.

(55:14):
And that's that he did the scoreto Born Free, which is

Oh,

audioTom11856375031 (55:18):
he, which is where he moves away.

Matt Monroe, I

audioTom11856375031 (55:21):
Yeah.
It is also sung by Mc Monroe,but he does the whole soundtrack
and he moves away from hornsbeing his predominant instrument
to strings being the predominantinstrument, which is why you see
the massive difference in sound

Yeah.

audioTom11856375031 (55:35):
the last Thunderball and this film is
because

you actually like this one?

audioTom11856375031 (55:40):
Yeah.
This is my fourth favorite ofall of them.
I, gave this an age.
And what I love about it isNancy Sinatra's vocal on this is
perfect.
It's understated compared to thesort of open throated belting we
had to deal with Goldfinger.
Leslie Briers did the lyrics,having watched the film.
The lyrics are really good.
Although he had more than oneattempt at the lyrics.

(56:02):
So the reason why the lyrics arequite good is he wrote the
lyrics once and they recorded aversion with Judy Rogers, who's
the one who did the song of thewedding, and then they scrapped
it to make this version instead.
And they originally offered itto Frank

Frank Sinatra.
Yeah.

audioTom11856375031 (56:16):
Yeah, Frank Sinatra Te

Broccoli, a

audioTom11856375031 (56:19):
yeah, yeah.
yeah.
And he, his actual name'sAlbert, I believe.
And he turned it down and said,you should give it to my
daughter.
And the producers went, oh, wewant to get Aretha Franklin to
do it.
And I'm so glad that they stuckwith Nancy Sinatra because she
is perfect on this.
The string parts, that stringrundown is beautiful.

(56:43):
The actual, the song I think isthe most covered James Bond
theme.
Overall,

it's weird cuz I've never heard it.
but,

audioTom11856375031 (56:49):
living under a rock?

I've been living under a James Bond
free rock.

audioTom11856375031 (56:53):
And

I don't know.

audioTom11856375031 (56:55):
Yeah,

heard Millennium in the sample a

audioTom11856375031 (56:57):
yeah, yeah, yeah, It's beautiful and it's
really well done.
The only really disappointing isMark Lanigan covered this on his
covers album in 2013.
And he covers it beautifully cuzhis voice suits it perfectly,
but he doesn't have the stringrundown, so instantly it loses
something.
He does it on an acousticguitar.
But yeah, I love this eightoutta 10.

audioDanB31856375031 (57:18):
I didn't go as high, but I really enjoyed
it.
I pretty much, as a general rulewith a lot of these, if it
mentions the film's name, I'llbump it up a little bit anyway,
cuz I like that it's like thefamily guy thing where Peter
Griffin gets really excited whenthe actors mentioned the name of
the film in the film,

Yeah,

audioDanB31856375031 (57:37):
I'm always a, you know, I

thing

audioDanB31856375031 (57:40):
they said the thing.
Exactly.
So I went for a seven, which Idunno, might be a bit harsh, but
I really enjoyed it.
It's a good song without beingincredible

I like the violin hook, but other
than that it's forgettable sixoutta 10.

Okay.

That's kind It really?

that is currently scoring a total of
38.4 points, so that's currentlyin second position.

(58:17):
We'll move on to the next one.
The film is on Her MajestySecret Service from 1969.
The song that was released asthe vocal theme for it is we
have all the time in the worldby Louie Armstrong and I love
this song.
It's one of the only ones that Iwould listen to, and it works as
a non bond theme.
I think it's actually quitepopular at weddings.

(58:39):
And you can hear why it's a bitmore subtle than a lot of the
other ones.

audioTom11856375031 (58:42):
haven't seen the film.
have you, Dan?
No.
Having not seen the film, Youshouldn't recommend that people
play this at weddings.

audioDanB31856375031 (58:50):
Isn't it played at funerals?

audioTom11856375031 (58:51):
If you are thinking about playing this at
your wedding, Don't watch thefilm and then realize what it's
about and don't, can we give aspoiler for a film that was
released?
Like,

of course.
You can give a spoiler.

audioTom11856375031 (59:04):
this song plays, he gets married, he's
driving down the road, his wifegets caught in crossfire, and
then this song plays,

Oh have much time then, I guess.

audioTom11856375031 (59:13):
no.
So it should not be played atweddings.

No, but what do you think of the
song though?

audioTom11856375031 (59:19):
I actually really like it.
So I love Louie Armstrong'svoice.
I love his voice.
The thing that really upsets meabout this song, there's only
one the main thing that marks itdown for me is that he, by the
time they recorded this song, hewas too ill to play the trumpet.
So it's not him playing thetrumpet on it.
And you can tell cuz his trumpetplaying's just so much more

(59:42):
brash and I wanted that.
So this is where John Barryreckons this is his favorite of
his bond themes in an inter, AndHal David wrote the lyrics for
this, and he's a lot more subtleat lyric writing than Leslie
Brickers.

Oh, how old?
David's one of the greatestlyric writers of all time

audioTom11856375031 (01:00:00):
he's had a few misses let's be fair.
Yes, he's made some of thegreatest lyrics,

audioDanielWhitell4185637503 (01:00:05):
It usually requires, but backer act
to make it complete.
But I mean, you can't takeanything away from

audioTom11856375031 (01:00:11):
he, yeah.
He's also one of the mostprolific.
So there is a bit of a monkeysand typewriter effect, but when
he gets it right, he's veryright.
And so the lyrics are better.
I think there are a couple ofproblems I have for this track.
One is obviously sat mo notplaying the trumpet two.
This song is very much an homageto what a wonderful world that

(01:00:32):
came out two years earlier.
And you can hear that they'vedone that.
Three is that john Barry'sfollowing on from the orchestral
tone that he had in Uon of twiceit's following on the same
thing.
And I don't think he does itquite as well here.
I think the orchestra's a littlebit more understated in a way
that I don't enjoy so much.
And the last one is cuz the, myBloody Valentine cover from 1994

(01:00:55):
is fantastic.

Oh, I've not heard that.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:00:58):
that.
wasn't really around when itfirst came out to be fair.

audioTom11856375031 (01:01:01):
no no it wasn't.
But I, the 1994, my BloodyValentine cover was on a
Guinness advert, which used tobe on between films at the only
times I ever watched TV at mygrandparents' house.
So I remember the, my BloodyValentine version before I
remember this cuz I was seven.
Yeah, exactly.
Sy nostalgia.
So I gave this a 7.5, which isstill one of the highest scores

(01:01:21):
I gave any of them.
So I, I do really like this onestill cuz Louie Armstrong could
sing the phone book and I'dlisten to it.
And I think he's probably mysecond fav, second or third
favorite singer on this list.
Not necessarily because it's notall about hitting all the notes.
It's having a tom bra to yourvoice that makes me want to
listen to it.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:01:39):
I gave it a five.
The reason I gave it a five wasbecause go either side of the
five, there's the fact thateverything Tom's just said.
Okay.
And there's the other five whereit's it's just been overplayed.
And I can't be asked to behonest with you.
I like, I hear it and I'm like,I've heard it before so many
times.

(01:01:59):
It has no emotional weight to mewhatsoever, anymore because I've
just heard it too many times.
Wedding disco, it's, oh my God,it this fucking song.
I listened to it today and I waslike, it's fucking amazing.
It's really well made.
And the vocals are incredible,but I could not connect in any
way because I've just heard ittoo many times.

(01:02:21):
It is literally the equivalentof creep by Radiohead.
For me.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:02:25):
Another really good song.
Yeah.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:02:26):
yeah after hearing it a million
times, it's like all of thestuff that was good about it has
been stripped away to it beingalmost like a musical cliche for
me.
That's why I gave it five,

audioDanB31856375031 (01:02:38):
I think his voice is one of the best
voices in the world let alone onthis list.
I absolutely adore LouieArmstrong's voice.
I think it's a really beautifulsong.
I don't know if it's really themost bond theme, but like Tom
says, having seen the film, itreally does fit what happens in
the film.
Unlike the other ones on thislist though, it's not the title

(01:02:58):
theme.
It's not played at the beginningof the film.
It's right at the end whensomething happens and I've
called it an eight because Ijust really enjoy the sound.
It just makes me chill and feelthings, which not every song on
this list does at all, becausethey're all ridiculous.
I didn't realize that it wasactually from this film, cuz
I've seen this film years andyears ago and I forgot it was on

(01:03:20):
here.
I also knew it from the Guinnessadvert like Tom

audioTom11856375031 (01:03:24):
It's a weird one cause most of the bond
films, the intro track and thesort of outro track are the
same.
This film is an example wherethe intro is an instrumental,
that's almost a bit like a riffon the early James Bond theme.
But John, it proves that JohnBarry needed Monty Norman's
guitar line cuz it's not asgood.

(01:03:45):
And.
There's a few, there's anotherone later that's coming up that
very famously have, has adifferent intro and outro track.
This is another one where theintro, yeah, the intro's, the
orchestral piece.
And actually this is, I think mysecond favorite bond film.
This is from, on Her MajestySecret Service.
And I think George Lazenby is mysecond favorite bond after

(01:04:07):
Timothy Dalton,

audioDanB31856375031 (01:04:09):
I think those, that is the most
controversial thing you've saidis those are the two best bonds,
like the two that everybodythinks are the worst.
That's fine.

audioTom11856375031 (01:04:17):
Timothy Dalton is the best bond by a
mile.
And he's in the best bond filmsas

What?
Hot?
fuzz.
Yeah.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:04:24):
I like the way you say films
plural.
He was only one.

audioTom11856375031 (01:04:26):
oh, Tim Timothy Dalton

audioDanB31856375031 (01:04:28):
Lak

audioTom11856375031 (01:04:28):
several.
Naby was, yeah.
yeah, Timothy Dalton is thebest, who was in several.
And George Lazenby is my

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:04:35):
Nah, Bron's.
The best bond.
We all know

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:04:39):
It's who you grew up with, is whoever
you, who, whoever you, identifyas Bond is who you genuinely
have grown up with.
I think that most people were,like, our parents would be more
like, have the argument of RogerMoore or Sean Connery.
But for us it's just, oh, wehave Pierce Pron.

I have no favorite bond.
have no opinions on that matter.
I,

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:05:02):
the best.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:05:02):
I think he's summed up the
sophistication and comedy thebest.
I dunno, I think.
But,

audioTom11856375031 (01:05:07):
I like the darkness of Dalton, I think
Dalton did darkness better thanCraig did, despite what popular
opinion dictates.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:05:15):
Yeah, I actually, I'm I'm

anyway, can we go back to the song?

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:05:18):
I'm going to give this song four.
It's, it sounds quite bondy, butit just seems a bit off as a
theme tune.
It doesn't sound like a themetune for a film.
It sounds just like a song,

audioDanB31856375031 (01:05:32):
it wasn't the theme that's the problem.
It was the

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:05:34):
just, you can tell and yeah.

I was scoring this based on how
good of a bond theme it was, itwouldn't do very well.
But I've scored it in 8.8because I think it's a brilliant
song.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:05:44):
a good song.
His, yeah, his vocal wasincredible, but no.

We'll go into the seventies now, so
get your flares on.
There, I dunno if there weremany flares in James Bond
movies, actually ne next one is1970 ones Diamonds of Forever
with the song Diamonds AreForever by Shirley Bassey.
Returning to the vocal booth.
I love this one.
I think it's the best one shedid.
It shows how great it is whenyou can take that song 30 years
later and Kanye West can make agreat single from it.

(01:06:12):
That doesn't sound like it'sanything to do with James Bond,
but yet uses the chorus of thesong.
It sounds fantastic.
The production is amazing.
Her voice is great.
She certainly deserves to be thefirst person to record two Bond
themes.
it's far less cheesy thanGoldfinger in terms of the fact
that, it's not calledGoldfinger.

(01:06:33):
It is not quite as good as thelast one for me.
It's an 8.5, but I think it's astrong song.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:06:38):
I gave it a six, but I wanna refer
back to something you just saidabout production.
If you're gonna record a bondtheme, you are gonna have the
best production team you couldever possibly have.
So every single song on thislist is gonna be produced
fucking perfect.

No, not, No,

audioDanB31856375031 (01:06:57):
No, there's one in

one, yeah, there is one that, We'll
get

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:07:01):
Yeah, we'll get there in a bit, but my
point is with this song, yeah,it's great and yeah,
production's great and stuff butno, it is, it's fair to
middling, isn't it, really?
It's just a bond theme.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:07:13):
I disagreed.
I really like the hook

Yeah,

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:07:15):
And like I, I like the

yeah.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:07:18):
I get Golding seven, so I'm gonna give
this one a cause I think it'sbetter from Shirley.
And it's it's just it's cool.
It's af when you first startlistening to me, it doesn't
sound like it should quite be abond film.
But then as soon as it startsand once it kicks in, you go,
actually notice this is bond wasstuck, which is nice.
It's slightly different to theusual, what I would consider a
bond theme, but still closeenough where I'm pretty happy

(01:07:40):
and it's catchy, man.

audioTom11856375031 (01:07:41):
John Barry's really trying really
hard to mix it up with this one.
So he's throwing in that sort ofalmost funk breakdown about
halfway through.
The synth intro actually soundsreally ahead of its time, but
the problem for me is that thevocal performance is still 1950s
musical theater.
It is Shirley Bass's second bestvocal performance for me.

(01:08:03):
But it's really important tonote before I give my score,
it's not my lowest by a longway.
But Harry Saltzman, theproducer, also hated this one
cuz once again, John Barry andDon Black submitted it so late
that he couldn't change it cuzhe also didn't wanna put this
one in either.
4.5.
I Had to preface the fact that Iwas giving it a 4.5 it's not

(01:08:24):
bad.
Four is not a bad, four is fourto six is okay.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:08:28):
No.
I'm sorry.
When you said earlier, five isaverage.
I was borderline not agreeingthere.
But when you're saying four isokay, four is non Okay.
Realm four is in the middling atbest, but not that good.

audioTom11856375031 (01:08:41):
Yeah.
That's what I mean by, it's likejust, okay.
It's a 4.5 for me.
I really hate that fuckingbelting vocal.
I've worked in musical theaterfor years.
I hate it.
And Shirley Brassey does it.
I just hate it.
And it's like she does one vocalperformance coming up later
where she fucking nails it.
And this is not that.

(01:09:02):
This is the Tom Jones andShirley Bassey.
We are Welsh musical theaterfrom the fifties and we're gonna
fucking belt it and just, no, Ihate it.

but I think that has its place in
the bond cannon.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:09:14):
It does.

audioTom11856375031 (01:09:14):
Just hearing, it makes my toes curl.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:09:17):
why would you work in musical
theater but not like musicaltheater vocals?
That seems ridiculous to

audioTom11856375031 (01:09:22):
Modern musical theater has a degree of
subtlety.
This doesn't

audioDanB31856375031 (01:09:26):
I really like this song.
It's just funny when you hearpeople go, oh, this is shit.
And then you're thinking, I'm tosay I like it.

audioTom11856375031 (01:09:33):
Oh, you're

audioDanB31856375031 (01:09:34):
I, I, I was, no, I know.
I was listening to it at thebeginning and going, do you know
what I prefer the Kanye song.
And I do, I think I do preferthe Kanye song, which is not
something that I, normally wouldsay of anything.
But the ka song's a fuckinggreat tune.
But,

is a great, it's a, it

audioDanB31856375031 (01:09:49):
but I still really like this.
The ending to it also wasphenomenal.
It ends in a really excitingway.
I think I agree a bit with Tomon the vocals.
I, that's not the strength ofthe song for me.
I really enjoy the instrumentalstuff, though it's iconic.
It's just like you hear it andyou go to good places and I went
for an 8.5.

Nice.

audioAlexEvens2185637503 (01:10:11):
strong man.

So that scores it a total of 35.5.
This one is good old Cacophonysession's.
Favorite Paul McCartney with his1973 Single which is the theme
song from the movie, Live andLet Die.
And this one is for me, it's aclassic.
I actually scored it higher thanthe actual James Bond theme

(01:10:34):
itself.
Because I think it's just afraction better because it
actually has lyrics

audioDanB31856375031 (01:10:40):
That's words and stuff.

their lyrics are not, I think the song
gets a bad rap because a lot ofpeople think that the line is in
this ever-changing world inwhich we live in, which
obviously is a grammaticalnightmare, but the lyrics are
actually if this ever-changingworld in which we are living,
which is actually grammaticallycorrect.
So all the people that aresaying, oh no, I don't like that
bit because it doesn't make anysense, fuck you, the grammar's

(01:11:05):
fine.
It's the first theme with noinvolvement from John Barry.
And bomb producer Harry Salzman,who Tom's made reference to a
few times.
He actually wanted ThelmaHouston.
But George Martin who producedthe song he backed his boy Paul

audioTom11856375031 (01:11:22):
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
Paul McCartney only signed on towrite it if he could be the one
to sing it.

Yeah.

audioTom11856375031 (01:11:28):
That was in the small print of his contract.

It wouldn't have sounded better
with Thelma Houston.
We, and we've said many times onthis podcast that sometimes Paul
McCartney can be hit or misswith his vocal performances, but
not on this one.

audioTom11856375031 (01:11:39):
No.
I'm with you.
one of the problems I have withthis song is I first heard this
song through the Guns and Rosesversion in the 1990s.
and

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:11:47):
me.

audioTom11856375031 (01:11:48):
yeah.
Not

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:11:49):
Well, the was fo when this came out

audiomartynley51856375 (01:11:52):
exactly.

and roses were just a twinkle in
their mum's eye.

audioTom11856375031 (01:11:57):
On the Beatles episode, I talked about
how Paul McCartney, when hewrote songs post the Beatles,
it's almost as if he wrote threedifferent songs and mashed them
all together.
But because with this song, he'sback in the studio with George
Martin.
Again, this is the one timewhere more than anything else, I
think this is his best postBeatles song by a long way.

(01:12:20):
It goes between this sort ofpiano ballad to this orchestral
interlude where they're takingon, where George Martin is Aing
John Barry.
But I think George Martin isactually as accomplished an
orchestrator as John Farian isable to make it quite
interesting.
And then he is going back again.
Yeah, for me I think this is myfifth highest score.
Again, it's 7.5 for me, which isa good, which is good.

(01:12:43):
I including that is good.
Incidentally, okay the tuningthat they use for this recording
while I was listening to it, acar alarm on a Range Rover went
off outside and this song is inthe key of Range Rover car
alarm.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:13:00):
There

audioAlexEvens21856 (01:13:00):
absolutely,

audioTom11856375031 (01:13:01):
is.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:13:02):
I got blown away when someone said to
me, if you ever want to tune aguitar, a D is the first note of
the Star Wars fame.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:13:09):
Yeah I absolutely agree with that.
I tune my guitar to D all thetime, every time.
If I'm tuning by ear what thatis I always get the D right
first anyway.
That, that aside thi this for meis a 10, how a 10, simply
because it's the first bondtheme where it is a standalone
song where you can listen to itwithout it being attached to a

(01:13:33):
bond film and

that way about Louie Armstrong, but
yeah.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:13:36):
good.

audioTom11856375031 (01:13:36):
the one before that as well, to be

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:13:38):
Man I love this song and I listened to
I, when I was a little kid, Ilistened to it so much because
it had so many, it was like asuite.
It was like before I knew what asuite was, lots of different
parts in a musical performance.
I was like, this is fuckingcool.
It's it, you go got this heavyriff and then you've got this
like your slow section, and thenyou've got this.

(01:13:58):
I loved every second of it.
So it is a 10 outta 10 becauseit's just a great song on its
own terms.
And I wasn't, I didn't even knowwho Paul McCartney was.
When I have first heard this, Ihad no musical knowledge
whatsoever.
I'm no Tom Fried, right?
But I just heard it and waslike, this is amazing.
This blew my mind.

(01:14:19):
I like, this is what musicsounds like to me.
But I didn't know it was part ofa bond theme.
I didn't know it was attached toa film.
I heard it isolated and it wason one of those, now what you
call music tapes that I had inthe Wartman, and I'm like
listening to it over and overagain and rewinding it.
Yeah.
It was, this is a fucking greatsong on its own right.

(01:14:40):
It's brilliant.
It's better than anything theBeatles have ever done.

Oh, no, I don't think so.
But not

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:14:47):
I dunno, I dunno.
It

joking,

we're done.
with that.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:14:51):
I gave this one a 6.5.
I actually do really like thissong and I do think it's
generally.
Pretty sweet.
Da, that is iconic.
That if it was just, if it wasas I, as we said at the start
how I'm scoring these if it wasjust me as a guy listening to
it, I'd probably give you aneight as a bond theme.
I'll give you a 6.5.

(01:15:11):
Cuz it is pretty cool.
It's pretty upbeat.
It's a good tune, but it's notvery spy.
Like for me it doesn't seem,doesn't

audioDanB31856375031 (01:15:18):
I see.
I, I think the doo do doo bitmakes it I can imagine somebody
pouncing pouncing around.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:15:23):
Yeah, but it's just a little bit too
uptempo for me.
And I'm not as a bond theme.
It doesn't, it's not sexy enoughfor me.
It's gotta sound a bit sexy.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:15:31):
I think you're right.
It loses some of the sultrymystery.
There's no mystery to it.
Is there is this straight inyour face we're doing the action
bit now and, oh, now I'm gonnasmooch you girl, and now I'm
gonna do an action bit again.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:15:45):
for me it, loses most bond themes
say within it, you know whatyou're gonna get no bond f a
bond film.
But for this one, I feel likeyou are like we could all for
good or for worse.
A big part of James's bond'swomanizing, isn't it?
We all agree.
Seduction.
Seductions a big part of his, abig part of James's Bond
character

audiomartynley5185637503 (01:16:04):
that's totally lost in

there's there's no subduction in this
song.
It's got like an upbeat, likeshit's getting real theme, like
spy theme tune.
But, and yeah, it's, it is goodand I do like it and I would
give it a higher score, but as abond theme for me it's a 6.5 cuz
it's a little too missing

I can understand.
It is not always associated withBond because you've got the Guns
and Roses cover as well.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:16:27):
it's a great song.
There's no way around it.
It's a brilliant song.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:16:30):
the Guns N Roses version is better.

Maybe, I'll give extra points for
having a reggae breakdown andPaul McCartney avoiding the
temptation to do a called reggaeaccent.
So I think he, he deserves it,like a point at least for
resisting that temptation.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:16:45):
fair, he's not above doing it, is He

it all the time.
So to not do it in this song isthat you actually go, okay, Paul
you didn't come up as completecringe on that record, so can
actually have a point.

everyone who's listening douche chills.
He's not above it.
He can do it.
he he's not above white guyrapping, he's that guy.

Done.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:17:07):
I professed my love for Paul
McCartney on the last episode asmy favorite Beatle.
Not the coolest Beatle, but myfavorite Beatle.
And I love this as well becauseI find his lyrics incredible.
I, as we've already talked aboutthe way this song goes, it goes
places.
It's not just, here's a bit ofmusic.
It's, it takes you on a journey.

(01:17:28):
And that sounds really Ponty,but I don't care.
That's how I feel with it.
It's just cool.
It listen, you listen to it andyou go, fuck Yeah.
As a song.
And I think as a bond theme too,I disagree.
I think that part makes it soundquite mysterious.
The doo do doo do.
But I went 10 out 10 Can't get

Mm, okay.
Yeah.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:17:47):
Sorry.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:17:47):
No.
Sorry.
I see why, I totally see why yougive 10.
as I said, I love the song, butthere's no seduction.
Where's the seduction?

it a

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:17:57):
It can't be on a bond theme if you
can't put it on a sex mix.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:18:00):
Oh,

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:18:00):
on a sex mix.
This couldn't be on a sex mix.
It might be the the crescendomaybe, but that's about it.

You can't have sex to this song.
I'm sorry.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:18:08):
strokes.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:18:08):
don't wanna be thinking about Al's
crescendos, man.

Or Poor McCartney or James Bond or
Wings.
No.
That 10 outta 10 takes it to43.1, which puts it second on
the list only to the initialJames Bond theme.
The next song from 1974.
And is another song with thename of the film in the title
the song is The Man With aGolden Gun and it's Lulu.

(01:18:35):
I think this one's a massivestep down, I think.
Tom, you've mentioned severaltimes that you think that some
of these are like show tunes.
And I think that this one soundslike show tunes, but she doesn't
have the voice for it.
I think she's by far, theweakest singer that we've had.
I think the song is by far andaway the weakest song.

(01:18:55):
I've seen this film I thoughtthe film was one of the cheapest
action movies I've ever seen.
I thought it was a terrible filmwith a terrible song.
It should have been the themetune to not Miss World, but like
Miss World's Ripoff or somethinglike that.
like the company that run like aknockoff version of Miss World
doing a knockoff bond theme witha knockoff.

(01:19:16):
I just think this is absolutelyterrible.
I scored it a 3.8.

audioTom11856375031 (01:19:21):
Ah, you and I are very close on this.
So John Barry, the composer,says this, the score for this
entire film is his leastfavorite score that he did.

I'm not listening to the whole
score, so I can't comment on

audioTom11856375031 (01:19:34):
But having seen the film the thing with
this one is the mu musically,it's a, it almost sounds like a
really lazy attempt to updatethe formula of his sixties
scores into the seventies.
And you'd think after having abreak, after having a break with
Li Vanette die, he'd come backand be like up for it.
But I think the reason he didn'tcome back to the UK to film live

(01:19:56):
that day is cuz he was gonna getdone for tax evasion if he came
back.
So he skipped a film and he cameback again and he's just cashed
this one in.
It's basically the gold fingerscore with added cheesy,
distorted guitar.
And Lulu's doing her bestShirley Bassett impression,
she's doesn't have the voice tocarry it, but Don Black's lyrics

(01:20:17):
do not really give her a lot towork with.
When we go through the list upto this point, I think this is
the last Don Black lyric on thislist.
He might have won a lot later,but like this is one of the last
ones.
And it's, yeah, and it's notreally surprising that this is
the last one he does for a whilebecause the innuendos he throws
in, in this are not well done orsubtle.

(01:20:38):
They're pretty badly done thatlyrically he doesn't give her a
lot to work with Orchestrally Idon't think Lulu's a dreadful
singer but but what they gaveher to work with here, she does
her best, but she is not thesexy version of Shirley Bassey,
which is what they essentiallywanted to hire to do this track.

(01:20:58):
Yeah it's.
It's the third worst on thislist and it's a 3.5.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:21:03):
For me personally, this is the first
song of our list where I'veactively disliked.

Yeah.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:21:08):
I think it's shit I gave it a free
because there's still redeemingfactors even in shit songs
sometimes.
her vocals are okay in it, butquite frankly, like the lyrics
are terrible.
It's, I dunno how do youdescribe shit?
It's just a rubbish.

Smelly usually brown.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:21:28):
It misses the tone.
That's why I think it misses thetone of what a bond thing
should, it's a crap song anyway.
Everyone, we can all agree it'sa shit song, we can all deal
with a crap song of it matchesthe tone of a bond film and it
completely misses the tone of abond film.
There's no mystery.
It's just, and there's a weirdmiddle bit, which is weirdly Ah,

(01:21:49):
yes.
It's just, this is rubbish.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:21:51):
I'll give it a bit more than you guys,
Bernie.
Cuz I think I'm generally beinga bit more kind.
Probably.
I didn't hate this.
I it doesn't have a lot goingfor it, but there's a bit.
It's a bit it's a little more,it's at least a little bit more
fun than a lot of the stuff thatcomes a lot later than this.
Some of the other things are abit depressing and a bit boring
at least.
This is and upbeat.
I,

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:22:09):
you don't want that

audioDanB31856375031 (01:22:09):
for it for me.
the man with a God gun.
It's like bond.
He's Cooley.
He's against the man with a godgun that he's the baddy.
But it's I don't know.
I gave it a six because it's me.
Fine.
Whatever.
I didn't like it, but I'm meet,I'm nicer than you guys

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:22:26):
Fair enough?

You're just wanting to avoid having
people call you out in thecomments.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:22:31):
Fuck it.
Yeah being too nice.
Let's smash him.
that's a wonderful, this isrubbish.
No mystery, no sex appeal.
There's no,

Plastic bond, isn't it?

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:22:39):
I give it a six as well because a
bit like what's been alluded to,it's all about the surface level
of sixties counterculture kindof thing going on.
It is very swinging sixtiesstuff,

audioTom11856375031 (01:22:52):
In the mid in the

1974.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:22:54):
There we go.
They're going from

No, you're right.
It is very sweet.
Sixties

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:22:58):
Swing 60 has got nothing to do with
bond bonder.
No point ever has been swingingsixties in tone.
Never.
He like if everyone was think ofBond, there's no way you'd think
he was like a liberal.
You'd think he's a Tori.

he'd probably be Yuki,

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:23:11):
it's just out of time.
it's way too retro.
Like the way that Dandy Warholsdid retro was really great.
They looked back and they werelike, this was a cool time.
And they fucking did their musicin a sense.
It was like, look back in thepast and look at all the cool
stuff that was going on, andthat's what this song is doing.

(01:23:31):
It's look at all the cool stuffthat was going on with James
Bond, but without any of themystery, without any of the
fucking deeper, darker,meaningness that, whatever that
means.
I'll give it a six because itwas energetic and it was upbeat
and everything, but yeah.
man it is meaningless at the endof the day.
it?
doesn't exactly, it's veryshallow, but it's still fun.

(01:23:55):
I still enjoyed listening to itabove some of the stuff that
came earlier which is a bit moredeep and dark.
I just thought it was a goodlaugh,

Everything you've just said isn't what a
bond theme should be.
Maybe I'm too, I'm too muchvests, stickler for this.

saying.
that's exactly what I'm

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:24:12):
there needs to be the light in the
dark.
this song is all about thelight.
It's all about the, like JamesBond walk walking into a casino
with a suit on having a goodtime and all stuff.
And there was none of the liketortured spy

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:24:25):
I mean, we've said, I said what I
said.
We, I said this before.
Spy theme is as strong as amusic tone as you go to horror
theme.
There are certain scales, thereare certain tones, there are a
certain heart that it is that,like bigger genre in FE when it
comes to theme music that youcould tell instantly it is or
isn't, and it's

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:24:45):
Yeah.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:24:46):
the spy theme

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:24:47):
No, This is basically, I'm a spy.
I've got unlimited amount of,like disposable cash to spend
that the government had given meand enjoying life.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:24:56):
just be closer to a comedy spy film.

there's,

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:24:58):
a bit kooky.
It's almost Austin

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:25:00):
yeah.
Yeah, it is actually dead on.
It is very Austin Powers.
It's the Austin Powers of theBond themes.
It

I I don't think it's clever enough
to be an Austin Powers theme.
I,

audioTom11856375031 (01:25:12):
lyrics are shy.

yeah.
It's ju it is.
The way I would describe this isclunky.

audioTom11856375031 (01:25:17):
it makes princes innuendos look really
clever.

oh, thanks Tom.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:25:22):
To be fed out.
I delete that from my notes.
Actually.
It sounds like Prince wrote it.
IG fought that, but it song

you've clearly never heard a Prince
song.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:25:31):
I couldn't, I didn't wanna discuss
it.
Cause an argument,

So that, that song scored in total
then 22.3 making it the lowestscoring so far by at least 10
points.
yeah, that's the definitivelythe worst bond theme so far.
we'll move on.
According to us.
Yeah.
But we are the,

audioDanB31856375031 (01:25:50):
I believe it's the only one that never
tried in the US or UK as well.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:25:55):
So we're right.
We're right then.
We're right.
No one else liked to either.

though I've seen the film, I didn't
remember the song and I'velistened to it, what, maybe five
times in the last week for forthis show.
And I can barely remember itnow.
It's fading.
It's not a good song.
But we'll move on to the nextsong is from 1977.
And it's from The Spy Who LovedMe soundtrack.

(01:26:18):
One that doesn't feature thename of the film in the title,
but it is, nobody Does It Betterby Kylie Simon.
Clang Clang Lang Lang ClangLang.
Nobody does it better.
Makes me feel sad for the rest.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:26:39):
Didn't know.
We'd been tuning into radio

Fast Good As You that's one of my
favorite Alan Partridge momentsin any of the series or movies
or.
Podcast or whatever it is thathe's done.
and that's how I know this song.
That's how I was introduced toNobody Does It Better.
However, I love this song.
I think it's brilliant.
I think that Carly Simon the wayshe sings it, she's not like the

(01:27:03):
other vocalist in that shedoesn't have a belting voice.
So you could put her in the samecategory as maybe Nancy Sinatra
or Lulu before her.
But what I would say is that shehas this earnestness to her
voice and the way that shewrites her songs is the only
person on this list to take abond, woman and make her sound

(01:27:23):
like a main character of thefilm.
The main character of this songis not James Bond.
It's the person he has jilted.
And I love that because it's avery big departure from what the
other songs have tried to beabout.
And at the same time, it stillfeels like a bond thing because
it, it is got that kind ofromance to it.
it's mysterious

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:27:45):
I feel like if a female was to
sing from Russia of Love, that'swhat it got for me.

it's a way better song than that for
me.
But

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:27:52):
no, but the tone wise,

audioTom11856375031 (01:27:53):
Uh,

tone wise, you're right.
You're, yeah, you're right onthat.
Yeah.

audioTom11856375031 (01:27:55):
this song is fantastic, but you would
expect it to be, when you lookat who the two writers are.
You've got Marvin Hamish, who isone of only two composers in
history to win a Pego, which isa Pulitzer, Emmy, Grammy, Oscar,
and Tony.

Wow.

audioTom11856375031 (01:28:10):
He's won all of those, and he wrote it.
He wrote the music with his,then girlfriend wrote the
lyrics.
Who was Carol Sager?
Who was then Mrs.
Burt Baac.
You've got some like pretty bigchops there, right?
In that music.
And then apparently they gotKylie Simon in to sing it.

(01:28:32):
And this is one of the fewoccasions where James Bond team
gets their first choice vocalistin and they got their first
choice vocalist in, cuz CarolSeger listens to your So vain,
which is an absolute banger, bythe way.

yeah.
Undeniable banger.
Yeah.
You are so vain.

audioTom11856375031 (01:28:48):
Yeah.
That's got

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:28:49):
I hate that

on.
cuz you are so vain.
That's cuz you

audioTom11856375031 (01:28:52):
your,

is about you.

audioTom11856375031 (01:28:54):
yeah, it's a banger.
But

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:28:56):
about me?

audioTom11856375031 (01:28:57):
But anyway, the a f I voted it like 67th
greatest film song of all time.
It's fantastic.
Kylie Simon's vocal delivery isperfect.
She doesn't, she tud belt it,but doesn't, it's one of the
best vocal deliveries on here.
The melody of the song's nicer.
Marvin Hamish references JamesBarry without being overt about

(01:29:18):
it.
Like some of the other composerson this particularly who are
gonna come up a lot later, theyoverdo the reference, whereas
this time he references it justenough.
So it still sounds like a JamesBond theme, but yeah, 8.5,
second best on this list.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:29:32):
gave this one on nine.
it is very hard to still bewithin James Bond theme for me,
but still be different.
And I think this did just enoughto stay in the James Bond for
me.
I

Yeah.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:29:45):
the piano.
when it goes up, it is not bond,but when it goes back down the
scale, that's when it soundssomber and it sounds a bit more,
that's when, for me it soundsbondy and the vocal performance
is incredible and it's just sogood.
It's a great song driven emotionwith emotion, but also just as
enough to be new, but still stay

audioTom11856375031 (01:30:04):
yeah.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:30:04):
of what a bond theme should be.

audioTom11856375031 (01:30:06):
What Lulu didn't do, and I'd say it's not
Lulu's fault in that the bondthemes that I've liked You will
notice that I've liked becausethey're reflecting the music
that was popular at the time anddoing a good pop song of what
was popular at the time.
So this song from the year itwas released sounded current.

(01:30:27):
It must have done, it stayed inthe chart for fucking months.

Yeah, it was

audioTom11856375031 (01:30:31):
Um, it was a big hit.
And so it stayed in the chartfor months because it sounded
current and it was a pop songthat worked really well with the
modern music at the time,

This finished the year end charts.
It was the 49th biggest sellingsingle in the uk.
And it finished 83rd on USbillboard Hot 100 for the year,
but number one on the adultcontemporary chart for the year.

audioTom11856375031 (01:30:55):
Yeah.

So it's, it did big numbers

audioTom11856375031 (01:30:58):
Yeah.

It's the first one for me since Nancy
Sinatra.
That sounds like it's just asong that sounds like a
contemporary song from the timethat happens to be a bond theme.
And it's also very good.
So yeah, I, I love the, I'vescored it.
What do I score it?
I've scored an 8.9,

audioDanB31856375031 (01:31:13):
I can't improve on that.
I've gone 7.5.
I like it.
I think it's a really good song.
It's a love song in a way, likea jilted love song.
Like a hate, like a love to hateI've been Broken Love song.

yeah.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:31:25):
I It's just slightly off the line of
being bondy for me, which is whyI knocked it a little bit.
It's a good song, but 7.5,that's what said Yeah.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:31:37):
feel like you should have swore at
the end about like 7.5 bitch.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:31:41):
It's a difficult song for me to write
because like I cannot get pastthe misogyny of James Bond.
I cannot get past it.
It will not leave me alone and Icannot get past it.
And this song encapsulateseverything.
I think about the misogyny ofJames Bond, where he is a
groomer basically.

(01:32:01):
And he,

audioTom11856375031 (01:32:02):
song's written from the female
perspective.

Yeah, that's why I like it because
it's actually the only time Ithink in the whole of the like
law of James Bond music.
This is the only time I think wehear from the perspective of the
woman that he's fucked over.
I think so.
I'm not a hundred percent sure.
But I think it's the only themetold from that perspective.
It certainly feels like it, andthat's why I love it.

audiomartynley5185637503 (01:32:23):
That's my problem with it.
It's like it's, it seemed fromthe perspective of a woman who's
been groomed by James Bond,who's gonna fuck her over and
then fuck off, and I tried getpast that, he's gone seduced her
and everything, and then I'm offdoing my spy thing and she's
left bereft and heartbroken andstuff and I just can't get over

(01:32:45):
it.
That's why I gave it a fivebecause like song wise it's
beautiful.
It's amazing.
But like lyrically, it's likethere's a heartbroken woman
totally heartbroken.
She's fallen in love with thisguy who's basically charmed her
in his like weird life orwhatever.
And now he's just gone and she'sleft picking up the broken

(01:33:07):
pieces and I don't like it.
I really don't.
This is a woman who has beentotally Andrew.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:33:12):
Oh, come on, this is like your
fucking theme.
I bet you better than many ofmisses in your time.
This is a lay theme.
There are girls who strickenaround Cornwall who have been
laid down with lay seed

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:33:24):
I love the fact you use the
Stricken, they're all stricken.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:33:28):
been stricken.
They have been stricken downwith your mighty fallas.

thinks that he is better than James
Bond, and therefore the title isincorrect.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:33:35):
The whole song is about nobody does
it better and everything, andthen he just disappears.
He's just gone off from his spyworld and she's left to pick up
the pieces and get on with herlife somehow.

audioTom11856375031 (01:33:45):
You realize you've marked that down by
victim shaming.
You're basically going, I'mmarking this down cuz I'm victim
shaming this woman.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:33:53):
Not at all.
Survivors.
we don't call them victims.
We call'em survivors, man.
It's one of the most toxic songsI've ever heard

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:34:00):
I don't

that point would stand if it was sung
by somebody else.
I think if you had just a,either one of the show tunes,
bellowy voices that isn't reallypersonalized on it, it would be
like that.
But because it's Carly Simon andshe's not very happy.
She's cynical of the wholething.
And she doesn't just take itlying down.
I think when she says nobodydoes it better, she is basically

(01:34:24):
saying, James Bond, you're afucking asshole.
Uh, and I, that's how I readthis song.
Maybe it's because it's comingfrom Carly Simon and she did,
you are so vain and songs likethat.
But I think the way she sings itis so deliberate that she's
being sarcastic and she'scalling out James Bond.
And that's why I love this songcuz it's the only song that
calls James Bond out for beingan asshole in the most

(01:34:47):
wonderfully sarcastic waywithout it being a girl power
feminist anthem or anything likethat.
This is years before any ofthat.
It's what they could get awaywith in, in those days.
She didn't write the song, butthe way she delivers it, it's
not coming from a genuine place.
I don't think Carly Simon ismeant to be singing this saying,
James Bond.
Nobody does it better.
I think she's saying, JamesBond, what a fucking hero.

(01:35:11):
What?
Nobody does it better than JamesBond.
What a wonderful man.
The spy who loved me That's howI read that song.
and that's why I score it sohighly.
Whereas I think you're taking itat face value.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:35:21):
in the film they end up together at the
end.
So I dunno,

Okay.
I haven't seen the film, so may,maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm
wrong.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:35:28):
The film was a script, but I think
Dan has made me look at it alittle bit differently,
actually.
Yeah, thank you for that.
But I still find it just amisogynist I can't do any
better.
This man is better than me.
Look at how great he is thing.
And I, it sits really badly withme, and I don't like it.
Especially in the con in thecontext of Bond films, where it

(01:35:49):
is literally like, bond is anolder man who grooms young
women.
That's what happens in Bond

Yeah.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:35:57):
not that much older.
you're talking like, it's likeSean coloring his seventies to
getting a 14 year old.
No, it's year old, a 24 year

an age because he is multiple
people.
So

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:36:05):
yeah, that is true.
no, no.

your point, Martin.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:36:08):
this song sits really uncomfortably
with me.

which

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:36:11):
it really does.

audioDanielWhitell (01:36:12):
observation.
if it does, you can't score pastthat, can you?

audioDanB31856375031 (01:36:16):
Roger Moore was 50 when this came out
out out of interest.
and the lady was,

audioTom11856375031 (01:36:20):
is now married to Ringo Star.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:36:22):
was 30, so it's,

exactly.

We're going to move on to the last
song of the seventies and thelast song for part one of this
evening's podcast.
And we're more appropriate toend up on than another Shirley
Bassi track.
The third one making her theonly person to have done three
James Bond themes.
And also unusually, this one wasrecorded in Paris.
it is moon maker from Moonmaker.

(01:37:00):
And I think this one is a 6.5, Ithink it's nonsense with a more
subtle performance from ShirleyBassey.
But that's not what I want fromShirley

audioTom11856375031 (01:37:14):
I, I'm sorry,

go

audioTom11856375031 (01:37:17):
I'm just laughing at the fact you said
the first person to do three.
She's also like the only one todo two.

Yeah, but it goes without saying.
She's expanded on her on alegend by doing three.
And nobody else's, no, nobodydoes it better than Shirley
Bassey maybe, but yeah, it, thisone's average.
It's not really a very good Ithink for me, the reason why I
don't like this song is cuz Ihaven't seen Moon Maker and.
The idea of somebody raking themoon does not seem like a James

(01:37:45):
Bond film.
To me, that sounds more like aWallace and Grommet film.
all I can picture is ShirleyBassey being told don't sing it
like the other ones.
it's not about the same things.
This one is about a guy who goesto the moon and makes like
pretty shapes on it andtherefore the song's a little
bit more boring and nonsenselacking in direction.
And I just don't think it's verygood.

(01:38:06):
It's a

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:38:07):
I I gave this one a six purely
because this is a good exampleof something that ticks all the
boxes, but it's just too genericto be good.
It does everything you want froma Bond film.
It's opposite of a lot of theother points I've been making,
but it does everything right,but not as good as before or no,
nothing makes us good.

(01:38:29):
It's very derivative.
It's just, it's all right.
It's not bad, it's just, I'd bebummed out if I watch Start of a
Bond film and just came on.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:38:37):
The film is a good one.
It's a really good film,

audioTom11856375031 (01:38:40):
is a good film.

If you asked me to sing it now, I
would say it goes Moon and itdoesn't

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:38:46):
Yeah, exactly.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:38:47):
no,

audioAlexEvens2185637503 (01:38:47):
That's exactly what I'd think.
Yeah, I

audioDanB31856375031 (01:38:49):
Tom's gonna say it's the best, Shirley
Bassy one, and he's completely

I know.
He is been, he's been buildingto it all episode as soon as he
said there, there's one that's alot better.
I'm like, he's gonna say moonmaker, and I'm like, what?

audioDanB31856375031 (01:39:01):
Yeah.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:39:01):
Oh, come on.
It's so derivative of everyother bond theme.
you give me a backstory.
It's got nothing to do with thesound of the actual song.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:39:08):
the writer is X or Y,

audioTom11856375031 (01:39:10):
no.
no.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:39:11):
if you tell me the songwriter wants
to rewrote happy birthday forsomething I'm, I

audioTom11856375031 (01:39:15):
No Sh Shirley Bass's vocal performance
on this is better than her vocalperformance on either Diamonds
of Forever or on, on Goldfinger.

from a subtlety perspective.

audioTom11856375031 (01:39:27):
from a technical perspective.
Not even subtlety from atechnical perspective.
Absolutely.
I work in musical theater withsingers.
She's using multiple facets ofher voice.
She's very in between chest andhead voice.
She's manipulating the point ofwhich she's breaking.
She's not just belting the fuckout of it, she rescues this
song.

(01:39:48):
So this song was a shit song.
Paul Williams wrote the lyrics.
They all hated, they brought HalDavid in instead.
John Barry's given up the brassheavy sound because he's to
decided to go into his eightiesphase where, which he used in
somewhere in Time, which isreally somewhere in time.
The soundtrack's really good.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:40:05):
about the 80 Era.

audioTom11856375031 (01:40:06):
Yeah.
John Barry ruins this song, notShirley Bassey, John Barry's
decided he's not gonna do brassheavy stuff anymore.
But he's not really learnt howto orchestrate anything else.
The change bond theme, it's allabout the brass section, right?
You listen to Goldfinger, thebest bits of it as a brass
section.

(01:40:27):
So he's still got John Barrydoing it, and he's decided that
after having done the Man with aGolden Gun where, which the, was
absolute shit.
He's not gonna do brass anymore.
It is basically the orchestraequivalent of cutting off his
nose despite your face.
Admittedly, when he goes on todo films in the eighties, like
somewhere in time, he doesn'thave the brass section.

(01:40:48):
It works perfectly well.
And he did really born free,came out pretty well.
The thing that I, the thing thatupsets me about this is that
they tried to get Kate Bush tosing it, and I would've loved to
have had Kate Bush do this.

That's a weird one because that's not a
name I expected you to say.
But this is one that I didearmark I think if they had got
somebody else to sing it, Icould have been more on board
with it, because it's more an rand Someone like a Marvin Gay or
something like that would'vedone a better job.
It could, if they had gone inwith this like sensuality vibe
to it, it would've been good,but it's just not,

audioTom11856375031 (01:41:21):
Shirley Bassey was like fourth choice.
There were a few other people,but Kate Bush was in the
running.
Shirley Bass's vocal on this,the way she controls it is the
most impressive.
So for me, this is a six

about the control.
Yeah.

audioTom11856375031 (01:41:35):
Yeah.
This is a 6.5 for me as well.
What's funny is it her ininterviews when she talks about
it, she's like, I don't feellike this is my James Bond
theme, and she's barelyperformed it when she performed
the other two loads.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:41:48):
Because they're better

audioTom11856375031 (01:41:50):
I like this song better than either of the
other two that she did.
I think lyrically how David camein and has managed to make a
decent song with the titleMoonraker, the lyrics in this
are better than the lyrics inGoldfinger.

Can somebody explain to me what a
moon maker is

audioDanB31856375031 (01:42:07):
It's a big ship, isn't it?

Right.
Okay.
So it's not a man whose plan wasto write fuck you on the moon
with a rake, that would've beengreat.
I've certainly got an idea for ascript.
Guys.

audioTom11856375031 (01:42:19):
okay.
So it, it means, so,

It's on the moon.

audioTom11856375031 (01:42:23):
A moon raker is a moon sail.

Oh, okay.
I know nothing about sailingeither.

audioTom11856375031 (01:42:28):
There you go.
I could, I can Google reallyquick while still looking at the
camera.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:42:33):
For me, it's the worst of the Shirley
Bassy songs.
I get what you're saying abouther vocal performance being
alright, and Yeah, I, that'sprobably true, but weren't the
strength of the other songsanyway.
They were just really goodpieces of music, really good
songs.

it was about the melodrama, I
think.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:42:50):
it was, this one to me is bland.
It's boring.
It doesn't really do anything

audioTom11856375031 (01:42:54):
The fact it's got some dynamic range,
even if it's not as strongersong, if they put some dynamic
range in the other songs, I'llprobably like them more.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:43:02):
As a sci-fi kid, like I, I love
sci-fi and it's probably one ofmy favorite James Bond films as
a kid, because it had space init didn't it, had like rock
rocket ships and stuff, youknow?

It was Nice for you because they
thought the world was flat upuntil that point, then they
looked up and there's a bigfucking James Bond weapon in the
sky's.
Like, how'd they, how'd that getthere?

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:43:24):
It was James Bond that proved the
world was round, know?
Um, but no I was into sci-fi, sothis was my favorite, like of
all the Bond films, this was myfavorite because it had
spaceships and it had jaws in itas well know, the

this the one with yours in it?

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:43:39):
Yes.
It was fucking crazy.
Back in the eighties that welived in back in those days.
But as far as yeah, the themetune.
Absolutely forgettable

Yeah.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:43:51):
Yeah.

Moon raker wider than a moon.
We're crossing the moon instyle.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:44:00):
Dan's right every time in my head, I
think what's

Yeah.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:44:06):
The music had no bearing on any part
of the film.
For me, it was all about spaceshuttles going to space and
stuff, and space shuttles werenew back then, yeah, just a
forgettable theme gene.
But a fucking absolutelymemorable period of James Bond.
It was Roger Moore, doing histhing,

I'm just hearing that that Roger
Moore has pulled in to theservice station but he won't be
here for another hour or two.
So we're gonna have to do a parttwo to this video before he gets
here.
Cuz that was the surprise isthat Mo Roger Moore is coming
despite having been dead for afew years I couldn't get any of
the bonds to appear.
And we don't have all the timein the world.
So we are gonna have to end thisone at for part one only.

(01:44:49):
But this gives me the, myfavorite opportunity, cuz now I
get to use the words to becontinued at the bottom and
there's a sequel coming.
Jay's Bond movies don't getsequels, really.
They technically, they are allsequels.
They, yeah.
But they don't actually,

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:45:02):
No, it's a little bit like Zelda.
It starts from day dot everyfilm, doesn't it

This is gonna be a direct continuity
sequel.
So part two will be the eightiesand onwards.
In the lead by 46 points is Dr.
No with the James Bond theme.
And then after that is PaulMcCartney and Wings' Liver Let
Die with 43.1.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:45:24):
Wins anything.

We have Jack White.
We have Chris Cornell coming upAdele and Sam Smith.
Quite a lot to discuss in thenext episode.
This will be a two-parter but itwon't be long until part two is
out so look forward to that inyour ears.
In the meantime, make sure youfollow us on Twitter at Access
Pod on the pat on, pay fivepound a month or listen for free
on any given platform that, thatyou want any one of them?

(01:45:49):
some.
It's not, but

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:45:50):
I'm certainly opinion just
pronounced Patreon.
But continue

I was listening to a podcast the
other day and I found a 50% ofthem say Paton and 50% say
Patreon.
And I was

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:45:58):
It's like, the difference between
people who sit down to wipe andstand up to wipe it's
staggeringly equal.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:46:03):
Wait.
People stand up to white.

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:46:05):
I'm saying this now because most
people who have heard that forthe first time get blown away.
Like you just have Dan, Iguarantee you go to work and
ask.
It's weirdly about half.
Yeah.

49% are women.
And 51% are men all the otherway round.
So

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:46:20):
ask at work.

are we talking about the male
population or the general

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:46:25):
with nails cuz I

Oh, I was gonna say, cuz it's
probably about a 50 50 split ifyou're just talking men and
women.

audiomartynley51856375031 (01:46:31):
Just make sure you wip in front to
back,

audioAlexEvens21856375031 (01:46:33):
now I go back to back all the time.
I live life dangerously

And on that bombshell Stay wipey.

audioDanB31856375031 (01:46:40):
They clean.

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