September 17, 2025 • 40 mins
Pick a page!
In this episode, we open to a random passage from The Reset Button and dive into the power of following what feels aligned—even when logic, money, or outside opinions tell you otherwise. Sometimes the hardest choices are the ones that make the least sense on paper, but the most sense in your soul.
We touch on:
• Choosing alignment over “playing it safe”
• The “Three R’s”: Reflect, Reset, Reinvent
• Sobriety as the clarity catalyst
• Why honest communication changes everything
• Spotting ego vs. true alignment
• When the craziest choice is the right one
• How one aligned decision shifts your whole life
If you’re having trouble trusting yourself or feeling torn between what makes sense and what feels right, this episode will help you feel seen and confident in taking the next step forward.
For more on The Reset Button, grab your copy on Amazon!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show.
I'm your host, cameo, and weare joined by my husband and
co-host, mr Greg Braun.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
So glad to be here.
I'm super pumped up.
This is going to be a funepisode.
Let's get into it.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Who's on your shirt there, Greg?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
One of my favorite musical artists of all time is
James Brown.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Can you give us a little James Brown?
Oh Go again.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
You just made me freeze up here.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
It's good, oh Baby baby, baby baby baby, listen, if
you're not watching the video,you need to stop what you're
doing right now and go toyoutube, because, greg, you just
went somewhere.
You went somewhere dude.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I I literally in my whole life I whenever I would
see like a performance of jamesjohn, like this, this I mean
that dude is inside of that song.
I mean you know've heard heardlike studio outtakes and stuff
in the studio.
Just it's insane, Like he feltthe music you know.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
And that was, I felt that, very good, very well done.
And, yes, gotta love JamesBrown, I've been really into
funky stuff lately.
I mean, I feel like there'sthis funky person that lives
inside my body, that my soul isrising out of my body and you're
super bad.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
That's a James Brown song.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
What's the James Brown song?
That was Dustin Poirier'swalkout song.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Oh, I paid the cost to be the boss.
Yeah, no, I paid the price tobe the boss.
Is it the cost or I don't know.
I don't know, it's not myfavorite song of his.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yeah, but the cost or I don't know but I don't know
it's not my favorite song of his, but yeah, but it's such a
great walkout song.
It is like in the spirit ofwalkout songs.
There's been a conversationlately in my life and I feel
like I should have picked thatone, but it's already dustin
poirier's, but he retired and ifyou're not a ufc fan you don't
know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
We're gonna get right into to greg yes, oh yes one
more thing about that that JamesBrown song as a walkout.
It was done in the 70s.
Production of music wasdifferent.
It's a quieter mix of a song.
So it's like you know, a lot ofthese people come out to these
songs that are more current andthey're like you know, and it's
(02:50):
like here comes Dustin Poirierand his song and it's like you
know it's a little quiet andthey usually turn it up a little
bit, but it always kind ofcracks me up, something only a
weirdo music nerd like myselfwould pay attention to.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Thank you for gracing us with the music nerdness.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yes, I'm clearly on one here today.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Do you know why?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
you shouldn't write with a dull pencil, no.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Because it's pointless.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Oh, you know okay.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Here's the thing with the dad jokes they're not funny
.
That's why they're jokes, butsometimes they're funny Also.
Other times I have to reallythink about it.
Yeah, is that the point?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I guess not with a dull pencil.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
It's not.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
That's what they're telling me.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Okay, sorry for exposing all of our listeners to
all of this mindless banter.
What are we doing today, greg?
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So today I would like you to take your book.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Oh, you mean this one , that there that I conveniently
have in my hand.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Oh, that old thing and I want you to leaf through
it.
I want you to just go to arandom page, in fact, so we know
this is legit, the book up oh,that's dangerous hold the book
up.
I love this.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
We did this with Judy when she was on the show with
her new book, judy Judy Hollow.
Oh yeah, okay, she like picks arandom page out of her new book
, and or any book for thatmatter.
She shared with us that, like,her favorite books surround her
and she'll just sometimes, whenshe's feeling like uninspired or
directionless, she'll go grab abook and pull a random page and
(04:38):
it's like the universe speakingto her about what she might
need in that moment forinspiration.
And when she was on our showshe used her new book and I
thought that was really cool.
So now that's what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Okay.
And this is scary to like.
Just pick a page legit it'salready out.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Anyone can read anything about this book.
So, okay, okay, so here we gothis is awkward weird let me
just gonna do it like this, canyou?
Yeah, I'll tell you when tostop, okay ready.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Start from the back and stop okay okay, it was the
summer of 2015 and we were justshy of the one year anniversary
of our move to Florida.
Things were better.
I was making more money andgetting to reach new
professional heights.
Greg was excited about startinghis new mortgage business.
(05:27):
We were both proud that hehadn't had a drink for nearly 10
months, and I was one fullmonth into my own sobriety.
On the outside, all signspointed to maintaining the
status quo.
Why mess with what was soclearly working?
Instead, I decided to resignfrom my position at Discovery.
(05:47):
Crazy right On the outside, itseemed nonsensical to quit my
lucrative job.
The opportunity had basicallyfallen into my lap at just the
right time.
It was helping our family crawlout of our financial hole.
It helped relieve Greg offinancial pressure so he could
focus on building therelationships required to get
his business off the ground, andhe and I were both in a calmer
(06:10):
place since we stopped drinking.
Yet it was contending with alouder voice in my gut telling
me that my job was the oppositeof what I needed.
Page 163, chapter 11, resettinghow you deal with your shit.
So this section.
I'm going to close the book andwe're just going to dice this
(06:31):
out a little bit.
This section is really allabout how we deal with our toxic
coping strategies.
For us it was drinking andother things.
For some it might be shoppingor gossiping or deflection.
I mean, we have thesestrategies that we feel like
keep us in control and keep ussafe and a lot of times they're
(06:52):
really hard to be honest aboutin control and keep us safe and
a lot of times they're reallyhard to be honest about.
So I kind of lay all of that outthere in this section and in
talking about how we were likereestablishing ourselves at that
time in this new way of life, Irocked the boat again.
Let me take you back to thismoment.
So I had landed this job that Imentioned was helping us crawl
out of a financial hole andgiving us some space to rebuild
(07:15):
our life.
And when I told Greg, hey, Ican't do this job, like I don't
want to work in this positionanymore I was traveling a lot, I
was gone a lot, we had justmoved to Florida, we had just
started this new way of life.
It was interfering with myability.
Like I said in the writing, hekind of looked at me like are
(07:36):
you out of your fucking mind.
What do you mean?
You're quitting this job.
That's going to literally.
Can you just stick it out forlike a year, like, can you just
help us get more on our feethere?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
You just take one for the team and just stick it out,
please, please.
It's just to be completely openwith the whoever whoever's
listening right now.
I mean we would just move toflorida and, you know, not
knowing anyone here and nothaving income.
(08:10):
When you're a mortgage loanofficer, you know people and
they refer clients to you andwhen you just basically open up
your own business, you have nocustomers and you have expenses,
but you also have your bills ofyour life.
And we were just on lifesupport, financially, literally
(08:31):
on life support and it was likewhat do you mean?
You're going to leave this jobthat pays you so much more money
than we have ever made, ever.
And that was the salary, andyou also had bonus on top of
that potential.
And it was like what do youmean?
(08:51):
You're going to stop doing thatright now?
You need to do that because weneed this money to survive.
And if you talked to a thousandpeople and you said, here is the
math and what was going on inthat moment, 1000 of them would
be like well, yeah, I mean, ifyou didn't know any of the
(09:11):
details, but you just saw thehigh level math on, okay, here's
this family.
They just moved to Florida.
Here's their expenses everymonth.
Here's their income, which wasvirtually nothing.
Here's their credit card debt.
Here's all that they've beenthrough personally, and wife
gets this job.
That's just a gift from God, youknow, and it's like, well,
(09:36):
that's going to help them getthrough this.
Really, there's your sign fromthe universe that your move to
Florida was the right thing.
Because you moved here, you putyourself out there and then
something just came to you andthen you literally were like
this is not in alignment withwhat I want for my life.
They were like this is not inalignment with what I want for
(09:56):
my life, so I have to not dothis thing, even though it's
very comfortable for me to dothis thing.
And you're like I'm going tohelp you, let's work together
and build our mortgage company.
It did come into my ears aslike what in the fuck do you
mean?
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So it might've even actually been what you said to
me.
I know we were driving home fromSunfest, which is on the other
side of the state and I remembersaying it after thinking about
it, I had a rough week leadingup to Sunfest.
Yeah, a lot of travel.
I remember being in a meetingwith my manager's manager at a
(10:40):
school district, because thatwas what my role was with the
Discovery Channel, discoveryEducation, and we were sitting
in the cafeteria and he wasasking me how I was feeling
about the role, how I wassettling in, and I literally
just started crying.
I don't even know if you knowthat and he probably was like,
oh Jesus, what's?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
happening.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
But let me back up a second, so I saw it from a
different angle, in a couple ofdifferent ways, and then we'll
get into.
I want this podcast to besharing this, but I also want to
kind of like wrap it up with anice pretty bow lesson, because
there is a huge lesson here, ora few of them.
(11:25):
But let me just back up and saythat to you.
It was what the fuck do youmean?
Because we were swimming indebt bills and had no income
other than mine.
For me it was I finally have anopportunity to do something in
my career that's different thanI ever have before.
(11:47):
That's really fun and excitingthat may lead to bigger
opportunities.
Fun and exciting that may leadto bigger opportunities.
And so, from a personalstandpoint, I was really excited
about what I was doing and itwould have fit cameo, it would
have fit me in a differentscenario in our life from that
(12:12):
standpoint, because my 20 yearold self would have been
screaming oh my God, this is mydream job.
And at the time, my 31 ish, 32ish I don't know how old I was I
was still screaming like, oh myGod, this is such an amazing
opportunity.
Like, oh my God, this is suchan amazing opportunity.
(12:34):
Like, how did I even get thisrole?
Wow.
But then there was anotherpiece of me that was busy
working on sobriety, honesty,rebuilding my marriage, spending
more time with my kids, dumpingout the jar, so to speak, which
I talk about in the book, andrefilling it with big rocks, the
most meaningful things in mylife.
(12:55):
First and I knew that thatcareer was was a big, important
rock, but it did not fit withthe other big important rocks.
It just didn't.
It would have compromised ourmarriage because I would have
been traveling a lot.
It would have compromised myrelationship with my kids, which
(13:17):
was really important to me whenthey were young and we had just
moved here and we were on ourown, it was important to me to
be present for them, and itwould have compromised that I
had just I hadn't even stoppeddrinking yet you had stopped
drinking, I hadn't stoppeddrinking, but I was kind of not
drinking at the time and in factit was kind of leading me back
(13:39):
into drinking more often in away that I didn't like.
So I was at this like this iskind of like behind the scenes,
cause I feel like it doesn'tread like this in the book.
So thank you for being here, um, but I feel like I was at this
point of like having a scale andweighing the pros and cons of
what, what choice, and trying tosee into the future.
(14:01):
This choice might look likethis in the future and this
choice might look like that, andthen this one might look like
this in the future and thischoice might look like that, and
then this one might look likethat and really determine what
was the best move in that momentholistically, and it was very
difficult.
Then add the financial part,then add that I have to come to
you and tell you that and whatthat might bubble up.
(14:22):
Right, and what it did bubble up.
You know we didn't fight, youdidn't like freak out, but there
was definitely this moment ofcontention of like okay.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Shock, yeah and stress like what the hell you
know?
Speaker 1 (14:37):
I yeah, I actually just said shock that the top of
this next page says.
After his initial shock, greglistened closely to my reasoning
and soon agreed with the idea.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
But because the reasoning was in alignment with
what our goals were like, whatour vision was that we had
worked through and talkedthrough and connected about,
because I had stopped drinking,because we were really focused
on working on us and our familyunit and just getting the big
rocks in place and while by allsociety's standards and by
(15:15):
survival standards, you knowthat provided something income,
but it just wasn't.
It wasn't.
It was exactly opposite of whatwe needed.
For you to be gone inenvironments where there's
alcohol and you're entertainingsuperintendents and all these
people it's like that's not partof being a family.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I say on the same page that it would have been
easy for us to draw battle lines, that I wanted to quit my job
for my family and you wanted meto stick it out for our family.
The ingredients for argumentsresentment and miscommunication
were all there and in the olddays we would have screamed
about it, drawn metaphoricalblood and partied and drank
(16:01):
ourselves into a state of notgiving a shit anymore, which is
true.
We would have just fought aboutit.
But we weren't that couple anylonger and we didn't have the
cushion of getting plasteredafter a balls to the wall.
Fight made the argumentsomewhat less desirable.
Thankfully, pairing oursobriety with the work we did on
our partnership allowed us tonot only be more comfortable
(16:23):
with uncomfortable feelings, italso meant we tried to both
respect each other's position.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, if I don't try to seeit through what you're looking
at it and you don't try to seeit through mine, I mean there's
no way to, like have someunderstanding for the other.
You know, a lot of times it'slike this is what I want.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So hear me, you know, what I mean, Instead of like
well, yeah, I know what you mean, because that's what you do.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yes, I know very well what you mean.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, that was a very trying moment for a very
fragile couple.
You know, and I'm proud of usfor how we we got through that
because, yeah, that that was.
I don't know, I'm not, I'm justmaking up this metaphor, but
like it was like the poisonapple that could have wrecked
the ship, you know for sure, ifnot handled properly.
(17:17):
You know cause that could havebeen.
Like I'm done, that's, that'sso selfish of you.
It wasn't that way at all.
You know it was.
It was all hands on deck.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
It definitely could have gone a lot of different
directions, but here's thatpretty bow of lessons.
I say plural lessons becausethere's a few that I want to
bring up, because I feel likethis is what helps those of you
listening right now.
If you're at a point in yourmarriage or in some type of
relationship where there'sconflict in your marriage or in
(17:48):
some type of relationship wherethere's conflict, where,
especially when you're makingchange, if you're trying to
decide on things that are inalignment in this new way that
you're living, it can get messywhen they're specifically well
within yourself when you'remaking these decisions, but
specifically when there areother people involved and it
might be the opposite of whatthey're used to or what they
(18:09):
think.
So lesson number one is it's inthe deal with your shit section
, as we're talking about beingfresh on the alcohol free train
for a reason.
Without the clarity of makingthat decision and making sure
that that was important to me,this decision would have never
(18:30):
been made.
That's my first as I, as I gointo my own book and say that
that that's my first takeaway isthat, uh, I, I didn't do AA.
I never completed a program,but I know that one of the
things that they talk about inthose meetings and in those
rooms is that you have to beselfish in your sobriety, in
your choice to not drink alcohol.
(18:52):
And I had to be selfish in thatmoment and whether I was
willing and able to admit it inthat moment I knew, I knew in my
gut, I could feel it.
I just knew it was going to bea threat.
So that's number one.
Lesson Number two is wecommunicated very well about
(19:15):
what the priorities were and wewere open to hearing each other
in a way that we hadn't beenbefore alcohol involved or not.
Just, we didn't communicatelike that in our previous
marriage, in the earlier yearsof our marriage together,
because we were very driven bythis is what I want, this is
what I think, this is what youwant, I don't give a shit, I'm
(19:36):
doing this, and not in a way oflike, fuck you, I'll do whatever
I want, but just more of like.
It never really ended in adecision together for our
marriage.
It ended in a decision for oneor the other of us where maybe
one of us relented a little bitand still held on to a little
(19:57):
bit of resentment about it,because I didn't get my way,
stop my feet Right.
Yeah, you too, you know.
When you didn't get your way,we were both kind of bratty.
And the third thing foryourself.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
No, I'm just kidding, sorry.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
And the third thing.
The third lesson here is thatsometimes you don't always know
how it's going to turn out.
But if you make the choice,that's in alignment with what's
going on and what's important toyou and your partner.
If it's in a relationshipsituation and you lean into the
fact that it might be painful oruncomfortable, what comes out
(20:33):
of the other side can and willbe, or can and likely will be,
better than you could have everimagined.
It will be the catalyst forchanges that you didn't know
needed to be made.
It will present opportunitiesthat you may not have otherwise
seen.
(20:54):
So what I mean by that is when Icame to you with that concern
and decision, and after the dustsettled a little bit, I started
working with you on buildingrelationships in our own
backyard where I didn't have totravel.
It was essentially the samething I was doing in that role.
(21:16):
That role gave me confidencethat I didn't know I had.
It gave me ideas that Iwouldn't have come up with
myself.
That role was really importantand pivotal in my development as
a professional, even for a veryshort period of time that I
worked there, Bossier, that Ihad.
That benefited what is now ourown business 10 years later.
(21:40):
But if you had asked me then,will it look like this in 10
years?
I wouldn't have had anyfreaking clue.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
And if I had stayed, it's not likely that this, that
our mortgage company or thateven this podcast or any of this
stuff that we do, would behappening at all.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
It sounds so woo woo.
It sounds so woo woo.
But in staying aligned withwhat you really want and need
for yourself and stayingattached to what you see it look
like at the end even if youaren't sure what that is, but
there's an idea and leaning intothe fear and into the change,
(22:23):
the outcome is positive.
If it's in alignment, it's foryou.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Yeah, I don't think you've said it in a way that
emphasizes how important this is.
I mean, you said it, but to thelistener I don't think this is
so profound to me, because I'veseen it work this way a few
times in our life, where, inthese decisions that are made of
like this is where we're goingas a unit, and then here comes
(22:52):
this distraction, and thenyou're like you can easily look
at it and go, nope, you are notin alignment with the vision.
Excuse me, there have been.
You know, should we, should wehire this person?
Or should we, you know, do thisor that?
And it's like it's either no orhell yes, and like when you
(23:15):
have some sort of vision of whatyou want, it's easy to see that
stuff.
And I think that, like here wehad what we wanted and we were a
happy little unit, and thenthat job came and landed and it
was like, whoa, okay, well, thisis amazing because it's money
and we're in this society whereyou need money, but it was
everything else that was not inalignment.
(23:36):
So that quickly.
But how many people out theremake decisions about it because
of money and they focus on thethings because of money?
It because of money and theyfocus on the things because of
money and sometimes, like in oursituation, it was fuck the
money with a big middle finger,because it was at a time when we
(24:00):
needed it the most.
It was like, I mean, it wasdire, right, I mean bleeding red
on paper.
It was a real test of like, howbad do you want to be to have
your whatever it is that youknow?
So I mean it's just.
I know it sounds hokey, likeyou said, and all this, but and
(24:25):
then, when you do focus on it,the business we've built in the
lives that we've, you know,impacted in the, in the, in the
just everything else has beenexponentially more than I would
have ever dreamed of in thatmoment.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
If I would have said no, no, you have to keep that
job, and tried to convince youto stay and like, no, no, you
have to keep that job and triedto convince you to stay and like
, yeah, I mean, there's aversion that ends up being
really great, yeah, but there'sa version that ends up being a
complete catastrophe.
And at that time in our life wewere so fragile across the board
we were just getting our feetback underneath of us that all I
(25:07):
could see was that it wasabsolutely going to be a
complete catastrophe in all ways, and I trusted that that wasn't
just me, um, you know,catastrophizing the situation
that it was legitimately I can'teven describe it.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
It felt wrong.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
It's such a weird thing because I know everyone
listening and I know you, greg,like I know, you know what I
mean and you can't put it intowords.
But it's just this moment, thisfeeling, where you're like uh
this isn't right.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And if we listen to it, it's hard.
Especially when it's hard, itleads you directly to where you
need to be or keeps you fromgoing somewhere you shouldn't,
where you never were meant to bein the first place.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
So listen to your gut kids.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Yeah, and you know that's what the reset button is
all about, really.
It's about tuning into thosealarm bells that go off when
something doesn't feel rightBecause, like what I just said,
a lot of times you dismiss itbecause you're like I ain't got
time for that.
That isn't a possibility, Ican't do that right now.
All the things, all the reasonswhy.
Also, I don't want to.
Ooh, that's scary.
(26:20):
What if I can't?
All the things.
But it's about taking a momentto say, like I'm going to hit
the reset button.
And the reset button is simple,on purpose it's three R's.
I know y'all can remember thatthree R's.
What does three R's sound like,greg?
The first R is reflect.
(26:45):
Never forget, oh God.
Coming on glue Listen the firststar is reflect, and that's
exactly what I'm talking about.
It's reflecting on that momentwhen you're normally when you
might dismiss it otherwise andsaying, well, we hang on a
second.
I feel this way for a reason.
(27:05):
It's valid.
I need to at least be curiousabout it.
I've got to like dig into why Ifeel this way and understand it
, because if I don't understandit and I make a decision, that
decision might will likely notbe correct because I didn't take
the time to like really developwhat needs to be heard here.
(27:29):
The second R is reset, andthat's when you've taken that
time to be curious and then yougive yourself permission to say
I can do it differently, or Idon't have to do that because I
always have, or that might seemlike it's the right path or the
necessary thing right now, butit's not an alignment and going
against the grain Like that.
(27:50):
That reset are the second one,and the one in the middle is the
one where you give yourself theability to choose differently.
And then the third R isreinvent, and that's the part
that kind of happens as a result, like this, reinvention of our
life was on purpose.
We may not have always knownhow we were reinventing
(28:11):
ourselves, but it was as aresult of taking the time to be
curious, giving ourselvespermission to make change and do
it our way, and that hasrippled.
Call it the reset ripple effectin the book.
For a reason that has rippledinto every area of our life
because the decisions start withthe ours in the jars that are
(28:33):
in alignment with what we'vedetermined as most meaningful
and important in our life.
You can do one without the other.
It ain't gonna work.
I'm telling you right now.
You gotta do all three.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
There's no.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
The way you just did.
It was really like delicate.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Yeah, it's true, and I'm not preaching about it
because I got it all figured out, but I am preaching about it a
little bit because it changedthe trajectory of our life and
that's why I wrote a book tohelp people see things from a
different perspective.
And it continues to change thetrajectory of our lives because
we apply this in everything thatwe do.
Still, because I wake up everyday and have a new challenge or
(29:21):
a thing that needs changed, orwe have an argument, or you know
, someone does something stupidand we got to figure out how to
navigate this with the customeror whatever life.
And you go okay, well, hang ona second, something feels off.
I got to dig into that, I gotto explore that, and the cycle
starts all over.
So I'm not telling you how todo it or like what to do
(29:44):
specifically, or weighing in onyour choices or judging or
inviting you to judge mine, butI am saying here's a framework.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
It really is something that you can just I
got a word formula Formula, thethree R formula.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Process idea, or you can just call it.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Just never forget.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
It really will help you make meaningful change in
your life, as long as you do itall together and you can do it
anytime you need to, over andover and over again.
This is an example from thebook of a time that we did it
when you weren't expecting it,Greg.
We didn't even know we weredoing it yet.
The book wasn't written yet.
It was about deep trust inourselves, evidence that we
(30:32):
could do it, and courage.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
And that's an example of a big decision, like a big,
intense, life-altering wowdecision.
This also applies to do I wantto eat organic lean chicken, or
you know what I mean.
Like this can be any decisionthat you make that you're just
(30:57):
kind of on autopilot about inyour life.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
And and it doesn't have to bethis like big drawn out parsing
through the three R's, it's justa quick moment.
In those situations Like you'relaying in bed the night before
and you're like, should I get upat 5 am tomorrow so I can steal
back some time in my daybecause there's some things I
want to tackle and I don't wantto be late, it always rushes me
out the door and then I feelstressed the rest of the day.
Well, you just kind of workthrough those hours real quick
(31:23):
and the answer will becomereally clear If you want to have
more time for yourself, stealsome time back, more ownership,
less stress, and that's inalignment With what you're
looking for.
The answer becomes A resoundingClear yes, a hell yes, for that
matter.
No, I don't know.
You work through it Till youfigure out.
Is it a hell yes or a no?
There ain't no in between.
You know what I'm saying?
(31:45):
Did you already say that?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
No Well.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
I mean we've said it.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
A million times.
You're a regular.
Yeah, I know micro decisionsthat are you just kind of on
autopilot about throughout yourday and be like, yeah, that that
that can go or stay or thatthat needs to be fixed.
You know it's just a differentway of seeing the world around
you and and how you can makechanges, big and small, you know
confidence with confidence youcan clarity I think that's the
(32:31):
thing.
And when you talk to people,when you learn about people's
life stuff, it's like I thinkpeople don't realize that they
have a choice.
I didn't, I did not.
I remember when our therapist,our marriage counselor, early on
when we lived in Ohio, she waslike well, why don't you just
get another job?
(32:51):
Because I was stressed out,work was just, and I was like I
remember looking at her likewhat do you?
What do you mean?
Like this is the only place Ican do, you know.
And it's like I look back atthat now and I'm like but I
didn't, you know, my, myperspective was yeah, same thing
(33:11):
about not drinking.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
She said that to us back then yeah, like, why do you
guys not?
Drink and we were like, yeahright, are you out of your mind,
lady?
We're paying you for this.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
That's terrible advice but, but it's, you know,
if you're not thinking andyou're just kind of doing, and
just doing as you've always done, you just kind of do, then you
keep getting the same resultsyou've always had, or worse.
Yeah, and we were in a state ofour marriage and our lives at
that point when that jobsituation happened.
(33:44):
We were evaluating everything.
We didn't socialize at all withanybody, sorry, I picked up my
drumsticks.
I was like you're getting intoit.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Now you're giving us the whole deal but you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Like it was like stop the, stop the tape, you know,
let's, let's get this shittogether here, yeah, and thank
you for having an openness, andI think that's also I.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I touched on that being a part of like one of the
lessons.
But if you're at a spot in arelationship or a friendship or
a job or whatever partnershipyou're looking at, you got to
remember there's like anotherside that's not yours.
That is equally valid toconsider.
If you consider everythingequal from the start, we go in
(34:30):
with our own biases bias, bias,size but what's the plural of
bias?
Speaker 2 (34:36):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Like a spare guy, but we go in with our own biases
and then we can't actuallyevaluate the true nature of what
we're looking at.
We're too guarded, Our ego'stoo right.
I've always done it this way.
I ain't changing.
But thank you for being openand if you're listening and
(34:59):
you're stuck, start there.
Start there.
That's part of your reflection.
Is where's my ego jumping inhere to chime in and save me and
keep me right and keep me safeand keep me protected?
Sometimes your ego needs to beset to the side in a timeout so
(35:21):
you can actually really seewhat's happening in front of you
and make a real decision that'sbased on evidence and education
, versus your emotional state.
Emotions?
Yeah, because emotions aregreat and I'm not saying like,
oh, dismiss your emotions, theydon't matter, they're valid.
But they aren't always tellingyou the truth, they aren't
always leading you to what youreally want at the end of the
(35:43):
day.
They're leading you to what youwant right now, what feels good
right now, what feels safe,what feels comfortable.
Ego and emotion.
Ooh, double E, e's.
They're like the e bandits gotthe three r's and the e bandits
it's wild stuff, you know it isit's real and you know what.
(36:05):
What else is real is that I feellike everyone goes through some
of this shit in their life andnobody wants to talk about it
because it's embarrassing orshameful, or I'm going to look
like I don't have it alltogether, or it's going to
impact my business negatively.
To be an actual human who'smessed up in my life, I had so
much trepidation about puttingthis book out in the first place
(36:25):
for that reason.
But here's the thing thefeedback and the responses that
I've gotten from this book andthis isn't for my ego, this is
just to share like it's exactlywhat I hope for People feel set
free.
They're like, oh my God, Idon't have to keep living like
that and putting myself throughthe ringer of the shit I messed
(36:46):
up a long time ago or thedecisions that I made.
I'm not stuck after all.
Thank you, and it means so muchto me.
I like literally almost crySometimes.
I do cry when I see people'stexts or their reviews.
It's like, can we all just be alittle more real, Like we're
(37:07):
all going through it.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Yeah Well, thank you for leading the charge there on
the.
Can we all just be more real,because you were just real in a
huge way?
It's, it's an amazing book andI I am just so proud of you for
for being brave and putting itout, because every time that I
read through it I feel this hugehit of hope, you know, and it's
(37:34):
I.
I forget that I'm reading aboutmy life, you know, and all the,
but it's like I just go throughit and I feel like there's no
matter what people were goingthrough.
I think it will give a lot ofhope to them.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Thank you, it's not my book anymore, it's for
everyone else.
It's being spread around likethat and that's the biggest
compliment I could ever receive.
It's not really about how manybooks I sell.
It's about whether or not itactually impacts people.
Really.
I have a business and a careerand a life.
(38:08):
This was just a project thatmeans something to me, and the
fact that it means something toother people is really important
.
So thank you for suggestingthat we talk about it.
Thanks for the gamble ofpicking a page Pick a page.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Everyone's favorite game show?
Pick a page.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Oh God, let us know if you want this to be a series,
a pick, a page series.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
It's kind of frightening, honestly.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
But yes, you can grab the reset button on Amazon.
You can go to my website tograb a copy.
It's a Barnes and Noble, acouple other boutique bookstores
depending on the area of theworld you live in, and we have
new episodes of the Cameo Showevery Wednesday.
If this landed with you, thanks, I'm glad.
Please share it with somebodyelse so we don't all feel so
alone all the damn time,wondering if something's wrong
(38:56):
with us, if we're broken.
We're not you're human yeah,welcome to being human yeah
there's this song called my nameis human.
I'm gonna sing it.
I'm not gonna sing it.
My name is human.
Greg's gonna sing, I'm notgoing to sing it.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
My name is human.
Greg's going to sing it.
I'm not even a singer.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Oh boy, thanks for putting up with us guys.
We hope you'll join us againsoon.
Until next time.
Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show.
I'm your host, cameo, and weare joined by my husband and
co-host, mr Greg Braun.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
So glad to be here.
I'm super pumped up.
This is going to be a funepisode.
Let's get into it.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Who's on your shirt there, Greg?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
One of my favorite musical artists of all time is
James Brown.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Can you give us a little James Brown?
Oh Go again.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
You just made me freeze up here.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
It's good, oh Baby baby, baby baby baby, listen, if
you're not watching the video,you need to stop what you're
doing right now and go toyoutube, because, greg, you just
went somewhere.
You went somewhere dude.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I I literally in my whole life I whenever I would
see like a performance of jamesjohn, like this, this I mean
that dude is inside of that song.
I mean you know've heard heardlike studio outtakes and stuff
in the studio.
Just it's insane, Like he feltthe music you know.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
And that was, I felt that, very good, very well done.
And, yes, gotta love JamesBrown, I've been really into
funky stuff lately.
I mean, I feel like there'sthis funky person that lives
inside my body, that my soul isrising out of my body and you're
super bad.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
That's a James Brown song.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
What's the James Brown song?
That was Dustin Poirier'swalkout song.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Oh, I paid the cost to be the boss.
Yeah, no, I paid the price tobe the boss.
Is it the cost or I don't know.
I don't know, it's not myfavorite song of his.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yeah, but the cost or I don't know but I don't know
it's not my favorite song of his, but yeah, but it's such a
great walkout song.
It is like in the spirit ofwalkout songs.
There's been a conversationlately in my life and I feel
like I should have picked thatone, but it's already dustin
poirier's, but he retired and ifyou're not a ufc fan you don't
know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
We're gonna get right into to greg yes, oh yes one
more thing about that that JamesBrown song as a walkout.
It was done in the 70s.
Production of music wasdifferent.
It's a quieter mix of a song.
So it's like you know, a lot ofthese people come out to these
songs that are more current andthey're like you know, and it's
(02:50):
like here comes Dustin Poirierand his song and it's like you
know it's a little quiet andthey usually turn it up a little
bit, but it always kind ofcracks me up, something only a
weirdo music nerd like myselfwould pay attention to.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Thank you for gracing us with the music nerdness.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yes, I'm clearly on one here today.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Do you know why?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
you shouldn't write with a dull pencil, no.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Because it's pointless.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Oh, you know okay.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Here's the thing with the dad jokes they're not funny
.
That's why they're jokes, butsometimes they're funny Also.
Other times I have to reallythink about it.
Yeah, is that the point?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I guess not with a dull pencil.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
It's not.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
That's what they're telling me.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Okay, sorry for exposing all of our listeners to
all of this mindless banter.
What are we doing today, greg?
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So today I would like you to take your book.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Oh, you mean this one , that there that I conveniently
have in my hand.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Oh, that old thing and I want you to leaf through
it.
I want you to just go to arandom page, in fact, so we know
this is legit, the book up oh,that's dangerous hold the book
up.
I love this.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
We did this with Judy when she was on the show with
her new book, judy Judy Hollow.
Oh yeah, okay, she like picks arandom page out of her new book
, and or any book for thatmatter.
She shared with us that, like,her favorite books surround her
and she'll just sometimes, whenshe's feeling like uninspired or
directionless, she'll go grab abook and pull a random page and
(04:38):
it's like the universe speakingto her about what she might
need in that moment forinspiration.
And when she was on our showshe used her new book and I
thought that was really cool.
So now that's what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Okay.
And this is scary to like.
Just pick a page legit it'salready out.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Anyone can read anything about this book.
So, okay, okay, so here we gothis is awkward weird let me
just gonna do it like this, canyou?
Yeah, I'll tell you when tostop, okay ready.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Start from the back and stop okay okay, it was the
summer of 2015 and we were justshy of the one year anniversary
of our move to Florida.
Things were better.
I was making more money andgetting to reach new
professional heights.
Greg was excited about startinghis new mortgage business.
(05:27):
We were both proud that hehadn't had a drink for nearly 10
months, and I was one fullmonth into my own sobriety.
On the outside, all signspointed to maintaining the
status quo.
Why mess with what was soclearly working?
Instead, I decided to resignfrom my position at Discovery.
(05:47):
Crazy right On the outside, itseemed nonsensical to quit my
lucrative job.
The opportunity had basicallyfallen into my lap at just the
right time.
It was helping our family crawlout of our financial hole.
It helped relieve Greg offinancial pressure so he could
focus on building therelationships required to get
his business off the ground, andhe and I were both in a calmer
(06:10):
place since we stopped drinking.
Yet it was contending with alouder voice in my gut telling
me that my job was the oppositeof what I needed.
Page 163, chapter 11, resettinghow you deal with your shit.
So this section.
I'm going to close the book andwe're just going to dice this
(06:31):
out a little bit.
This section is really allabout how we deal with our toxic
coping strategies.
For us it was drinking andother things.
For some it might be shoppingor gossiping or deflection.
I mean, we have thesestrategies that we feel like
keep us in control and keep ussafe and a lot of times they're
(06:52):
really hard to be honest aboutin control and keep us safe and
a lot of times they're reallyhard to be honest about.
So I kind of lay all of that outthere in this section and in
talking about how we were likereestablishing ourselves at that
time in this new way of life, Irocked the boat again.
Let me take you back to thismoment.
So I had landed this job that Imentioned was helping us crawl
out of a financial hole andgiving us some space to rebuild
(07:15):
our life.
And when I told Greg, hey, Ican't do this job, like I don't
want to work in this positionanymore I was traveling a lot, I
was gone a lot, we had justmoved to Florida, we had just
started this new way of life.
It was interfering with myability.
Like I said in the writing, hekind of looked at me like are
(07:36):
you out of your fucking mind.
What do you mean?
You're quitting this job.
That's going to literally.
Can you just stick it out forlike a year, like, can you just
help us get more on our feethere?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
You just take one for the team and just stick it out,
please, please.
It's just to be completely openwith the whoever whoever's
listening right now.
I mean we would just move toflorida and, you know, not
knowing anyone here and nothaving income.
(08:10):
When you're a mortgage loanofficer, you know people and
they refer clients to you andwhen you just basically open up
your own business, you have nocustomers and you have expenses,
but you also have your bills ofyour life.
And we were just on lifesupport, financially, literally
(08:31):
on life support and it was likewhat do you mean?
You're going to leave this jobthat pays you so much more money
than we have ever made, ever.
And that was the salary, andyou also had bonus on top of
that potential.
And it was like what do youmean?
(08:51):
You're going to stop doing thatright now?
You need to do that because weneed this money to survive.
And if you talked to a thousandpeople and you said, here is the
math and what was going on inthat moment, 1000 of them would
be like well, yeah, I mean, ifyou didn't know any of the
(09:11):
details, but you just saw thehigh level math on, okay, here's
this family.
They just moved to Florida.
Here's their expenses everymonth.
Here's their income, which wasvirtually nothing.
Here's their credit card debt.
Here's all that they've beenthrough personally, and wife
gets this job.
That's just a gift from God, youknow, and it's like, well,
(09:36):
that's going to help them getthrough this.
Really, there's your sign fromthe universe that your move to
Florida was the right thing.
Because you moved here, you putyourself out there and then
something just came to you andthen you literally were like
this is not in alignment withwhat I want for my life.
They were like this is not inalignment with what I want for
(09:56):
my life, so I have to not dothis thing, even though it's
very comfortable for me to dothis thing.
And you're like I'm going tohelp you, let's work together
and build our mortgage company.
It did come into my ears aslike what in the fuck do you
mean?
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So it might've even actually been what you said to
me.
I know we were driving home fromSunfest, which is on the other
side of the state and I remembersaying it after thinking about
it, I had a rough week leadingup to Sunfest.
Yeah, a lot of travel.
I remember being in a meetingwith my manager's manager at a
(10:40):
school district, because thatwas what my role was with the
Discovery Channel, discoveryEducation, and we were sitting
in the cafeteria and he wasasking me how I was feeling
about the role, how I wassettling in, and I literally
just started crying.
I don't even know if you knowthat and he probably was like,
oh Jesus, what's?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
happening.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
But let me back up a second, so I saw it from a
different angle, in a couple ofdifferent ways, and then we'll
get into.
I want this podcast to besharing this, but I also want to
kind of like wrap it up with anice pretty bow lesson, because
there is a huge lesson here, ora few of them.
(11:25):
But let me just back up and saythat to you.
It was what the fuck do youmean?
Because we were swimming indebt bills and had no income
other than mine.
For me it was I finally have anopportunity to do something in
my career that's different thanI ever have before.
(11:47):
That's really fun and excitingthat may lead to bigger
opportunities.
Fun and exciting that may leadto bigger opportunities.
And so, from a personalstandpoint, I was really excited
about what I was doing and itwould have fit cameo, it would
have fit me in a differentscenario in our life from that
(12:12):
standpoint, because my 20 yearold self would have been
screaming oh my God, this is mydream job.
And at the time, my 31 ish, 32ish I don't know how old I was I
was still screaming like, oh myGod, this is such an amazing
opportunity.
Like, oh my God, this is suchan amazing opportunity.
(12:34):
Like, how did I even get thisrole?
Wow.
But then there was anotherpiece of me that was busy
working on sobriety, honesty,rebuilding my marriage, spending
more time with my kids, dumpingout the jar, so to speak, which
I talk about in the book, andrefilling it with big rocks, the
most meaningful things in mylife.
(12:55):
First and I knew that thatcareer was was a big, important
rock, but it did not fit withthe other big important rocks.
It just didn't.
It would have compromised ourmarriage because I would have
been traveling a lot.
It would have compromised myrelationship with my kids, which
(13:17):
was really important to me whenthey were young and we had just
moved here and we were on ourown, it was important to me to
be present for them, and itwould have compromised that I
had just I hadn't even stoppeddrinking yet you had stopped
drinking, I hadn't stoppeddrinking, but I was kind of not
drinking at the time and in factit was kind of leading me back
(13:39):
into drinking more often in away that I didn't like.
So I was at this like this iskind of like behind the scenes,
cause I feel like it doesn'tread like this in the book.
So thank you for being here, um, but I feel like I was at this
point of like having a scale andweighing the pros and cons of
what, what choice, and trying tosee into the future.
(14:01):
This choice might look likethis in the future and this
choice might look like that, andthen this one might look like
this in the future and thischoice might look like that, and
then this one might look likethat and really determine what
was the best move in that momentholistically, and it was very
difficult.
Then add the financial part,then add that I have to come to
you and tell you that and whatthat might bubble up.
(14:22):
Right, and what it did bubble up.
You know we didn't fight, youdidn't like freak out, but there
was definitely this moment ofcontention of like okay.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Shock, yeah and stress like what the hell you
know?
Speaker 1 (14:37):
I yeah, I actually just said shock that the top of
this next page says.
After his initial shock, greglistened closely to my reasoning
and soon agreed with the idea.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
But because the reasoning was in alignment with
what our goals were like, whatour vision was that we had
worked through and talkedthrough and connected about,
because I had stopped drinking,because we were really focused
on working on us and our familyunit and just getting the big
rocks in place and while by allsociety's standards and by
(15:15):
survival standards, you knowthat provided something income,
but it just wasn't.
It wasn't.
It was exactly opposite of whatwe needed.
For you to be gone inenvironments where there's
alcohol and you're entertainingsuperintendents and all these
people it's like that's not partof being a family.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I say on the same page that it would have been
easy for us to draw battle lines, that I wanted to quit my job
for my family and you wanted meto stick it out for our family.
The ingredients for argumentsresentment and miscommunication
were all there and in the olddays we would have screamed
about it, drawn metaphoricalblood and partied and drank
(16:01):
ourselves into a state of notgiving a shit anymore, which is
true.
We would have just fought aboutit.
But we weren't that couple anylonger and we didn't have the
cushion of getting plasteredafter a balls to the wall.
Fight made the argumentsomewhat less desirable.
Thankfully, pairing oursobriety with the work we did on
our partnership allowed us tonot only be more comfortable
(16:23):
with uncomfortable feelings, italso meant we tried to both
respect each other's position.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, if I don't try to seeit through what you're looking
at it and you don't try to seeit through mine, I mean there's
no way to, like have someunderstanding for the other.
You know, a lot of times it'slike this is what I want.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So hear me, you know, what I mean, Instead of like
well, yeah, I know what you mean, because that's what you do.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yes, I know very well what you mean.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, that was a very trying moment for a very
fragile couple.
You know, and I'm proud of usfor how we we got through that
because, yeah, that that was.
I don't know, I'm not, I'm justmaking up this metaphor, but
like it was like the poisonapple that could have wrecked
the ship, you know for sure, ifnot handled properly.
(17:17):
You know cause that could havebeen.
Like I'm done, that's, that'sso selfish of you.
It wasn't that way at all.
You know it was.
It was all hands on deck.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
It definitely could have gone a lot of different
directions, but here's thatpretty bow of lessons.
I say plural lessons becausethere's a few that I want to
bring up, because I feel likethis is what helps those of you
listening right now.
If you're at a point in yourmarriage or in some type of
relationship where there'sconflict in your marriage or in
(17:48):
some type of relationship wherethere's conflict, where,
especially when you're makingchange, if you're trying to
decide on things that are inalignment in this new way that
you're living, it can get messywhen they're specifically well
within yourself when you'remaking these decisions, but
specifically when there areother people involved and it
might be the opposite of whatthey're used to or what they
(18:09):
think.
So lesson number one is it's inthe deal with your shit section
, as we're talking about beingfresh on the alcohol free train
for a reason.
Without the clarity of makingthat decision and making sure
that that was important to me,this decision would have never
(18:30):
been made.
That's my first as I, as I gointo my own book and say that
that that's my first takeaway isthat, uh, I, I didn't do AA.
I never completed a program,but I know that one of the
things that they talk about inthose meetings and in those
rooms is that you have to beselfish in your sobriety, in
your choice to not drink alcohol.
(18:52):
And I had to be selfish in thatmoment and whether I was
willing and able to admit it inthat moment I knew, I knew in my
gut, I could feel it.
I just knew it was going to bea threat.
So that's number one.
Lesson Number two is wecommunicated very well about
(19:15):
what the priorities were and wewere open to hearing each other
in a way that we hadn't beenbefore alcohol involved or not.
Just, we didn't communicatelike that in our previous
marriage, in the earlier yearsof our marriage together,
because we were very driven bythis is what I want, this is
what I think, this is what youwant, I don't give a shit, I'm
(19:36):
doing this, and not in a way oflike, fuck you, I'll do whatever
I want, but just more of like.
It never really ended in adecision together for our
marriage.
It ended in a decision for oneor the other of us where maybe
one of us relented a little bitand still held on to a little
(19:57):
bit of resentment about it,because I didn't get my way,
stop my feet Right.
Yeah, you too, you know.
When you didn't get your way,we were both kind of bratty.
And the third thing foryourself.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
No, I'm just kidding, sorry.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
And the third thing.
The third lesson here is thatsometimes you don't always know
how it's going to turn out.
But if you make the choice,that's in alignment with what's
going on and what's important toyou and your partner.
If it's in a relationshipsituation and you lean into the
fact that it might be painful oruncomfortable, what comes out
(20:33):
of the other side can and willbe, or can and likely will be,
better than you could have everimagined.
It will be the catalyst forchanges that you didn't know
needed to be made.
It will present opportunitiesthat you may not have otherwise
seen.
(20:54):
So what I mean by that is when Icame to you with that concern
and decision, and after the dustsettled a little bit, I started
working with you on buildingrelationships in our own
backyard where I didn't have totravel.
It was essentially the samething I was doing in that role.
(21:16):
That role gave me confidencethat I didn't know I had.
It gave me ideas that Iwouldn't have come up with
myself.
That role was really importantand pivotal in my development as
a professional, even for a veryshort period of time that I
worked there, Bossier, that Ihad.
That benefited what is now ourown business 10 years later.
(21:40):
But if you had asked me then,will it look like this in 10
years?
I wouldn't have had anyfreaking clue.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
And if I had stayed, it's not likely that this, that
our mortgage company or thateven this podcast or any of this
stuff that we do, would behappening at all.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
It sounds so woo woo.
It sounds so woo woo.
But in staying aligned withwhat you really want and need
for yourself and stayingattached to what you see it look
like at the end even if youaren't sure what that is, but
there's an idea and leaning intothe fear and into the change,
(22:23):
the outcome is positive.
If it's in alignment, it's foryou.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Yeah, I don't think you've said it in a way that
emphasizes how important this is.
I mean, you said it, but to thelistener I don't think this is
so profound to me, because I'veseen it work this way a few
times in our life, where, inthese decisions that are made of
like this is where we're goingas a unit, and then here comes
(22:52):
this distraction, and thenyou're like you can easily look
at it and go, nope, you are notin alignment with the vision.
Excuse me, there have been.
You know, should we, should wehire this person?
Or should we, you know, do thisor that?
And it's like it's either no orhell yes, and like when you
(23:15):
have some sort of vision of whatyou want, it's easy to see that
stuff.
And I think that, like here wehad what we wanted and we were a
happy little unit, and thenthat job came and landed and it
was like, whoa, okay, well, thisis amazing because it's money
and we're in this society whereyou need money, but it was
everything else that was not inalignment.
(23:36):
So that quickly.
But how many people out theremake decisions about it because
of money and they focus on thethings because of money?
It because of money and theyfocus on the things because of
money and sometimes, like in oursituation, it was fuck the
money with a big middle finger,because it was at a time when we
(24:00):
needed it the most.
It was like, I mean, it wasdire, right, I mean bleeding red
on paper.
It was a real test of like, howbad do you want to be to have
your whatever it is that youknow?
So I mean it's just.
I know it sounds hokey, likeyou said, and all this, but and
(24:25):
then, when you do focus on it,the business we've built in the
lives that we've, you know,impacted in the, in the, in the
just everything else has beenexponentially more than I would
have ever dreamed of in thatmoment.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
If I would have said no, no, you have to keep that
job, and tried to convince youto stay and like, no, no, you
have to keep that job and triedto convince you to stay and like
, yeah, I mean, there's aversion that ends up being
really great, yeah, but there'sa version that ends up being a
complete catastrophe.
And at that time in our life wewere so fragile across the board
we were just getting our feetback underneath of us that all I
(25:07):
could see was that it wasabsolutely going to be a
complete catastrophe in all ways, and I trusted that that wasn't
just me, um, you know,catastrophizing the situation
that it was legitimately I can'teven describe it.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
It felt wrong.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
It's such a weird thing because I know everyone
listening and I know you, greg,like I know, you know what I
mean and you can't put it intowords.
But it's just this moment, thisfeeling, where you're like uh
this isn't right.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And if we listen to it, it's hard.
Especially when it's hard, itleads you directly to where you
need to be or keeps you fromgoing somewhere you shouldn't,
where you never were meant to bein the first place.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
So listen to your gut kids.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Yeah, and you know that's what the reset button is
all about, really.
It's about tuning into thosealarm bells that go off when
something doesn't feel rightBecause, like what I just said,
a lot of times you dismiss itbecause you're like I ain't got
time for that.
That isn't a possibility, Ican't do that right now.
All the things, all the reasonswhy.
Also, I don't want to.
Ooh, that's scary.
(26:20):
What if I can't?
All the things.
But it's about taking a momentto say, like I'm going to hit
the reset button.
And the reset button is simple,on purpose it's three R's.
I know y'all can remember thatthree R's.
What does three R's sound like,greg?
The first R is reflect.
(26:45):
Never forget, oh God.
Coming on glue Listen the firststar is reflect, and that's
exactly what I'm talking about.
It's reflecting on that momentwhen you're normally when you
might dismiss it otherwise andsaying, well, we hang on a
second.
I feel this way for a reason.
(27:05):
It's valid.
I need to at least be curiousabout it.
I've got to like dig into why Ifeel this way and understand it
, because if I don't understandit and I make a decision, that
decision might will likely notbe correct because I didn't take
the time to like really developwhat needs to be heard here.
(27:29):
The second R is reset, andthat's when you've taken that
time to be curious and then yougive yourself permission to say
I can do it differently, or Idon't have to do that because I
always have, or that might seemlike it's the right path or the
necessary thing right now, butit's not an alignment and going
against the grain Like that.
(27:50):
That reset are the second one,and the one in the middle is the
one where you give yourself theability to choose differently.
And then the third R isreinvent, and that's the part
that kind of happens as a result, like this, reinvention of our
life was on purpose.
We may not have always knownhow we were reinventing
(28:11):
ourselves, but it was as aresult of taking the time to be
curious, giving ourselvespermission to make change and do
it our way, and that hasrippled.
Call it the reset ripple effectin the book.
For a reason that has rippledinto every area of our life
because the decisions start withthe ours in the jars that are
(28:33):
in alignment with what we'vedetermined as most meaningful
and important in our life.
You can do one without the other.
It ain't gonna work.
I'm telling you right now.
You gotta do all three.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
There's no.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
The way you just did.
It was really like delicate.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Yeah, it's true, and I'm not preaching about it
because I got it all figured out, but I am preaching about it a
little bit because it changedthe trajectory of our life and
that's why I wrote a book tohelp people see things from a
different perspective.
And it continues to change thetrajectory of our lives because
we apply this in everything thatwe do.
Still, because I wake up everyday and have a new challenge or
(29:21):
a thing that needs changed, orwe have an argument, or you know
, someone does something stupidand we got to figure out how to
navigate this with the customeror whatever life.
And you go okay, well, hang ona second, something feels off.
I got to dig into that, I gotto explore that, and the cycle
starts all over.
So I'm not telling you how todo it or like what to do
(29:44):
specifically, or weighing in onyour choices or judging or
inviting you to judge mine, butI am saying here's a framework.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
It really is something that you can just I
got a word formula Formula, thethree R formula.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Process idea, or you can just call it.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Just never forget.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
It really will help you make meaningful change in
your life, as long as you do itall together and you can do it
anytime you need to, over andover and over again.
This is an example from thebook of a time that we did it
when you weren't expecting it,Greg.
We didn't even know we weredoing it yet.
The book wasn't written yet.
It was about deep trust inourselves, evidence that we
(30:32):
could do it, and courage.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
And that's an example of a big decision, like a big,
intense, life-altering wowdecision.
This also applies to do I wantto eat organic lean chicken, or
you know what I mean.
Like this can be any decisionthat you make that you're just
(30:57):
kind of on autopilot about inyour life.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
And and it doesn't have to bethis like big drawn out parsing
through the three R's, it's justa quick moment.
In those situations Like you'relaying in bed the night before
and you're like, should I get upat 5 am tomorrow so I can steal
back some time in my daybecause there's some things I
want to tackle and I don't wantto be late, it always rushes me
out the door and then I feelstressed the rest of the day.
Well, you just kind of workthrough those hours real quick
(31:23):
and the answer will becomereally clear If you want to have
more time for yourself, stealsome time back, more ownership,
less stress, and that's inalignment With what you're
looking for.
The answer becomes A resoundingClear yes, a hell yes, for that
matter.
No, I don't know.
You work through it Till youfigure out.
Is it a hell yes or a no?
There ain't no in between.
You know what I'm saying?
(31:45):
Did you already say that?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
No Well.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
I mean we've said it.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
A million times.
You're a regular.
Yeah, I know micro decisionsthat are you just kind of on
autopilot about throughout yourday and be like, yeah, that that
that can go or stay or thatthat needs to be fixed.
You know it's just a differentway of seeing the world around
you and and how you can makechanges, big and small, you know
confidence with confidence youcan clarity I think that's the
(32:31):
thing.
And when you talk to people,when you learn about people's
life stuff, it's like I thinkpeople don't realize that they
have a choice.
I didn't, I did not.
I remember when our therapist,our marriage counselor, early on
when we lived in Ohio, she waslike well, why don't you just
get another job?
(32:51):
Because I was stressed out,work was just, and I was like I
remember looking at her likewhat do you?
What do you mean?
Like this is the only place Ican do, you know.
And it's like I look back atthat now and I'm like but I
didn't, you know, my, myperspective was yeah, same thing
(33:11):
about not drinking.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
She said that to us back then yeah, like, why do you
guys not?
Drink and we were like, yeahright, are you out of your mind,
lady?
We're paying you for this.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
That's terrible advice but, but it's, you know,
if you're not thinking andyou're just kind of doing, and
just doing as you've always done, you just kind of do, then you
keep getting the same resultsyou've always had, or worse.
Yeah, and we were in a state ofour marriage and our lives at
that point when that jobsituation happened.
(33:44):
We were evaluating everything.
We didn't socialize at all withanybody, sorry, I picked up my
drumsticks.
I was like you're getting intoit.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Now you're giving us the whole deal but you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Like it was like stop the, stop the tape, you know,
let's, let's get this shittogether here, yeah, and thank
you for having an openness, andI think that's also I.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I touched on that being a part of like one of the
lessons.
But if you're at a spot in arelationship or a friendship or
a job or whatever partnershipyou're looking at, you got to
remember there's like anotherside that's not yours.
That is equally valid toconsider.
If you consider everythingequal from the start, we go in
(34:30):
with our own biases bias, bias,size but what's the plural of
bias?
Speaker 2 (34:36):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Like a spare guy, but we go in with our own biases
and then we can't actuallyevaluate the true nature of what
we're looking at.
We're too guarded, Our ego'stoo right.
I've always done it this way.
I ain't changing.
But thank you for being openand if you're listening and
(34:59):
you're stuck, start there.
Start there.
That's part of your reflection.
Is where's my ego jumping inhere to chime in and save me and
keep me right and keep me safeand keep me protected?
Sometimes your ego needs to beset to the side in a timeout so
(35:21):
you can actually really seewhat's happening in front of you
and make a real decision that'sbased on evidence and education
, versus your emotional state.
Emotions?
Yeah, because emotions aregreat and I'm not saying like,
oh, dismiss your emotions, theydon't matter, they're valid.
But they aren't always tellingyou the truth, they aren't
always leading you to what youreally want at the end of the
(35:43):
day.
They're leading you to what youwant right now, what feels good
right now, what feels safe,what feels comfortable.
Ego and emotion.
Ooh, double E, e's.
They're like the e bandits gotthe three r's and the e bandits
it's wild stuff, you know it isit's real and you know what.
(36:05):
What else is real is that I feellike everyone goes through some
of this shit in their life andnobody wants to talk about it
because it's embarrassing orshameful, or I'm going to look
like I don't have it alltogether, or it's going to
impact my business negatively.
To be an actual human who'smessed up in my life, I had so
much trepidation about puttingthis book out in the first place
(36:25):
for that reason.
But here's the thing thefeedback and the responses that
I've gotten from this book andthis isn't for my ego, this is
just to share like it's exactlywhat I hope for People feel set
free.
They're like, oh my God, Idon't have to keep living like
that and putting myself throughthe ringer of the shit I messed
(36:46):
up a long time ago or thedecisions that I made.
I'm not stuck after all.
Thank you, and it means so muchto me.
I like literally almost crySometimes.
I do cry when I see people'stexts or their reviews.
It's like, can we all just be alittle more real, Like we're
(37:07):
all going through it.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Yeah Well, thank you for leading the charge there on
the.
Can we all just be more real,because you were just real in a
huge way?
It's, it's an amazing book andI I am just so proud of you for
for being brave and putting itout, because every time that I
read through it I feel this hugehit of hope, you know, and it's
(37:34):
I.
I forget that I'm reading aboutmy life, you know, and all the,
but it's like I just go throughit and I feel like there's no
matter what people were goingthrough.
I think it will give a lot ofhope to them.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Thank you, it's not my book anymore, it's for
everyone else.
It's being spread around likethat and that's the biggest
compliment I could ever receive.
It's not really about how manybooks I sell.
It's about whether or not itactually impacts people.
Really.
I have a business and a careerand a life.
(38:08):
This was just a project thatmeans something to me, and the
fact that it means something toother people is really important
.
So thank you for suggestingthat we talk about it.
Thanks for the gamble ofpicking a page Pick a page.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Everyone's favorite game show?
Pick a page.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Oh God, let us know if you want this to be a series,
a pick, a page series.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
It's kind of frightening, honestly.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
But yes, you can grab the reset button on Amazon.
You can go to my website tograb a copy.
It's a Barnes and Noble, acouple other boutique bookstores
depending on the area of theworld you live in, and we have
new episodes of the Cameo Showevery Wednesday.
If this landed with you, thanks, I'm glad.
Please share it with somebodyelse so we don't all feel so
alone all the damn time,wondering if something's wrong
(38:56):
with us, if we're broken.
We're not you're human yeah,welcome to being human yeah
there's this song called my nameis human.
I'm gonna sing it.
I'm not gonna sing it.
My name is human.
Greg's gonna sing, I'm notgoing to sing it.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
My name is human.
Greg's going to sing it.
I'm not even a singer.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Oh boy, thanks for putting up with us guys.
We hope you'll join us againsoon.
Until next time.
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