April 9, 2025 • 11 mins
What happens when self-awareness, meant to bring peace, becomes a source of anxiety? In this honest episode, I explore the often-overlooked downside of seeing yourself too clearly—the spirals of overthinking, self-criticism, and social replay loops.
Drawing from my own journey, including 10 years alcohol-free, I share how I manage hyper-awareness using the reset button method from my upcoming book, along with a simple box breathing technique to calm your nervous system.
You'll learn why self-awareness needs self-compassion—and how to turn insight into empowerment, not overwhelm.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show.
I'm your host, cameo.
Today we are going to explorethe question is self-awareness a
curse?
And I know that sounds a littlebit dramatic, because isn't
self-awareness the goal?
Isn't it a gift?
Well, it is, but it also feelslike a trap sometimes.
(00:23):
So let's talk about it First.
What is self-awareness?
Self-awareness is the abilityto recognize and understand your
own thoughts, your own emotions, your own behaviors, your own
patterns, and then how theyaffect you and the people around
(00:44):
you.
How they affect you and thepeople around you.
It's like holding up a mirrorto your inner world and you
start to notice not just whatyou're doing or what everyone
else is doing, but kind of whyyou're doing it or why they
might be doing it.
Because self-awareness thenbleeds into awareness of other
people.
But we'll stay focused, sorry.
So the awareness that you haveof yourself the what and then
(01:09):
the why allows you to respondand not react, which is the goal
.
Right, that's empowering, butit also comes with a catch.
So I feel like it getsglamorized and we pursue it
through journaling and therapyand mindfulness, you name it.
I mean, I'm constantly workingon self-awareness and if you're
(01:33):
exceptionally lucky, you have alot of self-awareness, because
you can certainly see the peoplewho don't right around you, not
from a judgment standpoint, butjust from a holy cow around you
not from a judgment standpoint,but just from a holy cow.
It's definitely the startingpoint for healing and growth and
change.
It's super powerful.
But, like, once you see yourselfand I mean really see yourself
(01:59):
you can't unsee it.
You become acutely aware of allof the operating systems that
you abide by or that you workfrom, especially fear.
You become aware of all of thetimes you're repeating patterns
or people pleasing or avoidingconflict or hard conversations
or numbing out.
And then you start to noticewhen you're out of alignment and
(02:23):
that feels heavy and icky andyou hear yourself saying things
like why am I doing this again?
How did I find myself hereagain?
I know better.
Why can't I stop?
I know how to talk myselfthrough this, but it doesn't
feel good.
I just had this conversationwith someone and it was
(02:43):
pertaining to not drinkinganymore, because when you're
drinking at least for me I kindof just threw all caution to the
wind.
I would become crazy cameo andI was usually a pretty good time
, but of course I took that intodangerous territory of not
(03:04):
being such a great time, whichis why I don't drink anymore 10
years, 10 years later.
But that self-awareness withoutdrinking is like constant it
never gets numbed out, it nevergets quieted by how I used to
with drinking.
So then I spiral a little bitinto anxiety because I feel like
I'm hyper aware and this iswhere the curse comes.
(03:26):
In my words, my reactions, myhabits, my thoughts, I can
somehow find something wrongwith everything that I've done,
because I'm like reallysensitive about it, even when I
haven't maybe done anythingwrong.
I totally overthink, I'mmonitoring every move that I
make and then it becomes innerchaos and then I have to go back
(03:46):
to all of those things I saidat the beginning, like
journaling and meditating andquieting my inner voice, and
sometimes therapy, to get back.
So it's like this vicious cycle.
That's why I'm saying is it acurse?
But here's the truth.
Awareness isn't meant toparalyze you, it's meant to
(04:07):
inform you.
And when you're self-awareenough to reflect on those
things, like how you're makingother people feel or why you're
doing things on repeat, for meit's like every time I leave a
social interaction I'm like ohmy God, did I say the wrong
thing?
Did I say something hurtful, Ididn't mean that I should have
put my foot in my mouth.
I hope they didn't interpretwhat I said wrong.
(04:28):
I mean, it's like out ofcontrol sometimes, and this is
where the concept of the resetbutton comes in.
For those of you who don't know, I have a book that will be
released in May of 2025, may20th.
It's called the Reset Button.
It's the act of reflecting, andOne of those ways is
(04:51):
self-awareness and all of thesethings I've been talking about.
It's the reminder that youdon't have to have all the
answers right now and you don'thave to spiral by being
self-aware.
You can keep it in check, youcan pause and you can zoom out
and you can say, okay, whatneeds my attention right now and
what can I let go of needs myattention right now and what can
(05:17):
I let go of?
Because often, specifically forme, when I'm spiraling about my
most recent social interactionand how awkward I was, I can
usually let go of that, becausethe truth is that it's great,
I'm aware, so that I don't hurtpeople's feelings or say things
that maybe I shouldn't.
That's how you learn right, butalso it's just not worthy of my
(05:39):
worry, because most of the time.
One, it's not true, it's myfear kicking in telling me that.
And two, everyone's moved onalready, like they probably
might be thinking the same thing.
I am like, oh my God, did I saysomething weird, or was I
awkward, or did I say somethinghurtful?
Because we all tend to thinkabout ourselves, and not
(05:59):
necessarily a negative way, butin that type of self-awareness
way.
Resetting, as I mentioned in thebook, isn't about starting over
.
It's not a do over.
It just means stopping andtaking a breath and beginning
again and deciding how you wantto move forward.
(06:19):
I do this technique called boxbreathing.
It helps me tremendously when Ifeel overwhelmed or when I'm
spiraling.
It is the method where youbreathe in for two to four
seconds, you hold at the top fortwo to four seconds, you
breathe out for two to fourseconds, you hold at the top for
two to four seconds, youbreathe out for two to four
seconds and you hold at thebottom for two to four seconds.
And you can do that anywhereanytime, over and over and over
(06:43):
again, as long as it takes, tohelp your nervous system calm
down, to help your anxiety getquiet, to help you when you're
spiraling, because yourself-awareness is on overdrive,
because what's self-awarenesswithout self-compassion?
Right, it's really justself-criticism or self-judgment
disguised in something fancy.
(07:05):
So you're allowed to be awareand confused, to know better and
still be learning how to dobetter.
You're allowed to grow at yourown pace.
You're allowed to be concernedabout how you make other people
feel, but you don't have to haveanxiety and you don't have to
(07:26):
fix everything all at once.
You just have to continue togive yourself some
self-compassion and remindyourself you'll do better next
time.
So if you're in that placetoday where awareness is making
your brain loud and your chesttight, I want you to know you're
not broken.
Let the awareness guide you,but not shame you.
(07:48):
Let it soften you, not hardenyou.
And if you need to hit thereset button not to escape but
to get through it you can findmore information about the reset
button on my website,cameoelisebrauncom, where you
can sign up for updates aboutthe release or a link to
(08:10):
purchase on release day.
I appreciate the support somuch.
The book breaks down how toreset every aspect of your life,
starting with yourself,extending into your relationship
with your partner, into how youdeal with your shit, how you
(08:36):
deal with anxiety copingmechanisms into parenting and
your career choices and themaintenance that goes into it
afterward, because it's a neverending process and I am hoping
that it will meet everyone wherethey are, with whatever might
be challenging in your life thegood, the bad, the ugly Some of
my stuff's real ugly.
I'm not going to lie, but justremember you can find peace and
(08:59):
you can have permission.
Clarity isn't alwayscomfortable, but it's the first
step in choosing to be better.
Thank you so much for listeningto the Cameo Show.
Be sure to stop where you arelike, subscribe, follow whatever
platform you're listening orwatching on and, if you're so
(09:21):
inclined, to leave a review orshare this episode with someone
who might be struggling withthis idea of self-awareness
being a curse, like I amself-aware, I've worked so hard
to be, but damn it, it's likecausing me some trouble.
I can't be the only one.
I appreciate that you're here.
There are new episodes everyWednesday and I hope you'll be
(09:43):
back with us again soon.
Until next time.
Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show.
I'm your host, cameo.
Today we are going to explorethe question is self-awareness a
curse?
And I know that sounds a littlebit dramatic, because isn't
self-awareness the goal?
Isn't it a gift?
Well, it is, but it also feelslike a trap sometimes.
(00:23):
So let's talk about it First.
What is self-awareness?
Self-awareness is the abilityto recognize and understand your
own thoughts, your own emotions, your own behaviors, your own
patterns, and then how theyaffect you and the people around
(00:44):
you.
How they affect you and thepeople around you.
It's like holding up a mirrorto your inner world and you
start to notice not just whatyou're doing or what everyone
else is doing, but kind of whyyou're doing it or why they
might be doing it.
Because self-awareness thenbleeds into awareness of other
people.
But we'll stay focused, sorry.
So the awareness that you haveof yourself the what and then
(01:09):
the why allows you to respondand not react, which is the goal
.
Right, that's empowering, butit also comes with a catch.
So I feel like it getsglamorized and we pursue it
through journaling and therapyand mindfulness, you name it.
I mean, I'm constantly workingon self-awareness and if you're
(01:33):
exceptionally lucky, you have alot of self-awareness, because
you can certainly see the peoplewho don't right around you, not
from a judgment standpoint, butjust from a holy cow around you
not from a judgment standpoint,but just from a holy cow.
It's definitely the startingpoint for healing and growth and
change.
It's super powerful.
But, like, once you see yourselfand I mean really see yourself
(01:59):
you can't unsee it.
You become acutely aware of allof the operating systems that
you abide by or that you workfrom, especially fear.
You become aware of all of thetimes you're repeating patterns
or people pleasing or avoidingconflict or hard conversations
or numbing out.
And then you start to noticewhen you're out of alignment and
(02:23):
that feels heavy and icky andyou hear yourself saying things
like why am I doing this again?
How did I find myself hereagain?
I know better.
Why can't I stop?
I know how to talk myselfthrough this, but it doesn't
feel good.
I just had this conversationwith someone and it was
(02:43):
pertaining to not drinkinganymore, because when you're
drinking at least for me I kindof just threw all caution to the
wind.
I would become crazy cameo andI was usually a pretty good time
, but of course I took that intodangerous territory of not
(03:04):
being such a great time, whichis why I don't drink anymore 10
years, 10 years later.
But that self-awareness withoutdrinking is like constant it
never gets numbed out, it nevergets quieted by how I used to
with drinking.
So then I spiral a little bitinto anxiety because I feel like
I'm hyper aware and this iswhere the curse comes.
(03:26):
In my words, my reactions, myhabits, my thoughts, I can
somehow find something wrongwith everything that I've done,
because I'm like reallysensitive about it, even when I
haven't maybe done anythingwrong.
I totally overthink, I'mmonitoring every move that I
make and then it becomes innerchaos and then I have to go back
(03:46):
to all of those things I saidat the beginning, like
journaling and meditating andquieting my inner voice, and
sometimes therapy, to get back.
So it's like this vicious cycle.
That's why I'm saying is it acurse?
But here's the truth.
Awareness isn't meant toparalyze you, it's meant to
(04:07):
inform you.
And when you're self-awareenough to reflect on those
things, like how you're makingother people feel or why you're
doing things on repeat, for meit's like every time I leave a
social interaction I'm like ohmy God, did I say the wrong
thing?
Did I say something hurtful, Ididn't mean that I should have
put my foot in my mouth.
I hope they didn't interpretwhat I said wrong.
(04:28):
I mean, it's like out ofcontrol sometimes, and this is
where the concept of the resetbutton comes in.
For those of you who don't know, I have a book that will be
released in May of 2025, may20th.
It's called the Reset Button.
It's the act of reflecting, andOne of those ways is
(04:51):
self-awareness and all of thesethings I've been talking about.
It's the reminder that youdon't have to have all the
answers right now and you don'thave to spiral by being
self-aware.
You can keep it in check, youcan pause and you can zoom out
and you can say, okay, whatneeds my attention right now and
what can I let go of needs myattention right now and what can
(05:17):
I let go of?
Because often, specifically forme, when I'm spiraling about my
most recent social interactionand how awkward I was, I can
usually let go of that, becausethe truth is that it's great,
I'm aware, so that I don't hurtpeople's feelings or say things
that maybe I shouldn't.
That's how you learn right, butalso it's just not worthy of my
(05:39):
worry, because most of the time.
One, it's not true, it's myfear kicking in telling me that.
And two, everyone's moved onalready, like they probably
might be thinking the same thing.
I am like, oh my God, did I saysomething weird, or was I
awkward, or did I say somethinghurtful?
Because we all tend to thinkabout ourselves, and not
(05:59):
necessarily a negative way, butin that type of self-awareness
way.
Resetting, as I mentioned in thebook, isn't about starting over
.
It's not a do over.
It just means stopping andtaking a breath and beginning
again and deciding how you wantto move forward.
(06:19):
I do this technique called boxbreathing.
It helps me tremendously when Ifeel overwhelmed or when I'm
spiraling.
It is the method where youbreathe in for two to four
seconds, you hold at the top fortwo to four seconds, you
breathe out for two to fourseconds, you hold at the top for
two to four seconds, youbreathe out for two to four
seconds and you hold at thebottom for two to four seconds.
And you can do that anywhereanytime, over and over and over
(06:43):
again, as long as it takes, tohelp your nervous system calm
down, to help your anxiety getquiet, to help you when you're
spiraling, because yourself-awareness is on overdrive,
because what's self-awarenesswithout self-compassion?
Right, it's really justself-criticism or self-judgment
disguised in something fancy.
(07:05):
So you're allowed to be awareand confused, to know better and
still be learning how to dobetter.
You're allowed to grow at yourown pace.
You're allowed to be concernedabout how you make other people
feel, but you don't have to haveanxiety and you don't have to
(07:26):
fix everything all at once.
You just have to continue togive yourself some
self-compassion and remindyourself you'll do better next
time.
So if you're in that placetoday where awareness is making
your brain loud and your chesttight, I want you to know you're
not broken.
Let the awareness guide you,but not shame you.
(07:48):
Let it soften you, not hardenyou.
And if you need to hit thereset button not to escape but
to get through it you can findmore information about the reset
button on my website,cameoelisebrauncom, where you
can sign up for updates aboutthe release or a link to
(08:10):
purchase on release day.
I appreciate the support somuch.
The book breaks down how toreset every aspect of your life,
starting with yourself,extending into your relationship
with your partner, into how youdeal with your shit, how you
(08:36):
deal with anxiety copingmechanisms into parenting and
your career choices and themaintenance that goes into it
afterward, because it's a neverending process and I am hoping
that it will meet everyone wherethey are, with whatever might
be challenging in your life thegood, the bad, the ugly Some of
my stuff's real ugly.
I'm not going to lie, but justremember you can find peace and
(08:59):
you can have permission.
Clarity isn't alwayscomfortable, but it's the first
step in choosing to be better.
Thank you so much for listeningto the Cameo Show.
Be sure to stop where you arelike, subscribe, follow whatever
platform you're listening orwatching on and, if you're so
(09:21):
inclined, to leave a review orshare this episode with someone
who might be struggling withthis idea of self-awareness
being a curse, like I amself-aware, I've worked so hard
to be, but damn it, it's likecausing me some trouble.
I can't be the only one.
I appreciate that you're here.
There are new episodes everyWednesday and I hope you'll be
(09:43):
back with us again soon.
Until next time.
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