August 12, 2025 • 19 mins
We are still on our summer break so we are dropping this greatest hits episode, where we unpack how anxiety influences your leadership style, decisions, and team dynamics. Discover simple mindset shifts and practical tools to lead with clarity, calm, and collaboration.
Key Takeaways:
- Spot anxiety-driven patterns in your leadership
- Use tools like pausing, journaling, and reframing to stop spiraling
- Shift from control to connection with a power-with approach
Jill Griffin, host of The Career Refresh, delivers expert guidance on workplace challenges and career transitions. Jill leverages her experience working for the world's top brands like Coca-Cola, Microsoft, Hilton Hotels, and Martha Stewart to address leadership, burnout, team dynamics, and the 4Ps (perfectionism, people-pleasing, procrastination, and personalities).
Visit JillGriffinCoaching.com for more details on:
- Book a 1:1 Career Strategy and Executive Coaching HERE
- Build a Leadership Identity That Earns Trust and Delivers Results.
- Gallup CliftonStrengths Corporate Workshops to build a strengths-based culture
- Team Dynamics training to increase retention, communication, goal setting, and effective decision-making
- Keynote Speaking
- Grab a personal Resume Refresh with Jill Griffin HERE
Follow @JillGriffinOffical on Instagram for daily inspiration
Connect with and follow Jill on LinkedIn
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi friends, this is Jill Griffin, the host of the
Career Refresh.
Today I'm talking about howanxiety impacts our leadership
style.
My hope is that, if you areimpacted by anxiety, that
shining a light on the issuewill help you create the change
that you want to ease anyworkplace-related anxiety.
(00:20):
All right, let's jump inanxiety.
All right, let's jump in.
Okay, friends, if you arelistening to this when this
episode drops and you're human,I'm going to guess that there's
a lot going on for you.
And when you add in what'sgoing on perhaps for you locally
(00:40):
, nationally and globally, itcan feel really overwhelming.
Many of us have experienced thejoy of overthinking at some
point in our careers and yes,I'm being sarcastic we fall into
the trap of thinking,rethinking, churning, burning
our mental energy as if somehowit will help us solve the
(01:05):
situation, and we find ourselvesmoving faster because we need
to solve it.
But you're not making decisions, you're making more thoughts,
and this can feel heavy, maybe alittle bit of a depressed
feeling.
Or, if you're like me, when theanxiety hits, there's this
constant, almost like electrichum in my body that tends to
(01:29):
accumulate around my heart andin my chest region and then it
flows up to my throat and itfeels like a big knot in my
throat, and because you've beenruminating about all the things
for so long, it might feel likeyou are making progress.
But overthinking is not astrategy, it is not problem
(01:50):
solving.
It's running the same formulathrough the system over and over
again and you end up with thesame answer.
So now you add on the layer ofleadership and you're
responsible.
How are you going to performwhen you have anxiety, when you
are under stress or anxietyright, we'll use those words
(02:11):
interchangeably in this episode.
Our attention narrows.
We tend to focus our efforts onone area of our responsibility,
one area that feelscontrollable, so we end up
ignoring the areas that feel ormay be actually out of control.
Stress, anxiety and fear narrowour attention.
(02:35):
So once again, your brain isworking the way it should.
There's nothing to worry here.
But listen in.
If you've been a longtimelistener, then you know that
your brain is doing what it'strained to do.
Your body is responding to theharm, the danger, whether it's
real or perceived.
So your body is responding theway it's supposed to.
(02:56):
It's going to keep trying tokeep you away from harm, and
what used to be running awayfrom danger is now wanting to
run away from an unhealthyworkplace or an unhealthy
workplace scenario.
It's the old evolutionarybiology when the zebra is
(03:16):
running from the lion, it is notthinking about the food and the
grocery shopping it needs to doto get for dinner right.
Single point of focus.
Everything else that feelssecondary gets moved aside.
But is it secondary?
And here's where our leadershipstyle comes in.
I'm not going to bury the leadhere.
You need to be intentional andthink about the things before
(03:39):
they're on upon you.
You need to strengthen themuscle now.
You you need to strengthen themuscle now.
You need to plan a way todeflate and diffuse the anxiety.
You need strategy.
So if you think about yourpersonality or perhaps the
environment you were brought upin, I want you to really think
about that.
Some of us may sit in anxiety.
It's like sitting in that dirtydiaper, right.
(04:00):
We may deal with it by eatingor not eating, or drinking, or
using recreational drugs, orbinging on YouTube shorts or
playing video games for hours.
Any way you look at it, you'redoing that action to avoid the
feeling.
You are definitely trying tonot feel the thing that you're
(04:20):
feeling.
So you take these actions.
Some of us resort to what I'llcall control, and this is not a
good thing.
Like we can be real dicks here.
Some of us are sitting inanxiety and we try to wield our
power over others Again, so wedon't feel the thing that we're
anxious about.
We focus on something else.
(04:42):
We might get stricter, we mightmicromanage, shorten the leech,
tighten the timeline.
We may even wield our powerover our direct reports.
And though this behavior isterrible and it's probably been
modeled to us somewhere else inour lives like lying either.
Like lying either intentionallyor by omission, being rude,
(05:07):
ridiculing, being short, takingon a tone, yelling Good luck to
those that we live with and love, because they're also going to
be subjected to this.
All the people around us,whether it's in the workplace
environment or outside theworkplace, tend to be getting
the brunt of this wielding ofour power, and we know these
(05:27):
types.
I mean, I know these types.
It feels hostile, maybe a bitabusive, to be on the receiving
end, and often I find that thistype of leadership style can be
standoffish and they're notgoing to help their direct
reports achieve the goal.
Their direct reports are ontheir own.
Another type of leadershipstyle that I see emerge in
(05:50):
stressful situations are thepeople pleasers.
It's a different type ofcontrol.
It's more subtle, it's morenuanced, but let's be clear,
it's still control.
They tend to put everyoneelse's need before their own or
at least that's what it lookslike and they're not being
honest.
(06:10):
They are doing what they'redoing for you because they want
something from you, but theycan't be direct, they can't just
ask.
There's a little bit of passiveaggressiveness and it's
manipulation.
It's really a lie Again.
It may look nicer, but it's not.
It can come with a smilewanting to make sure everyone's
(06:30):
okay, but did you get this done?
They burn out fast and thistype of leader can feel well if
you're on the receiving end.
It can feel really icky andpassive, aggressive because
nothing is what it seems.
Feel really icky and passive,aggressive because nothing is
what it seems.
And the last anxiety suffererstyle I see is those that lean
towards hope and possibility.
(06:52):
They still feel the anxiety.
However, when they're in thisplace of possibility, they're
less likely to seek control overothers.
They tend to have a more openapproach.
They look at the individuals infront of them as actual people,
versus pawns or tasks.
They tend to be collaborative.
They tend to ask other peopleto weigh in with their opinions.
(07:15):
They have tools in theirrepertoire to get their own
anxiety down.
They tend to pause, maybebreathe through it when they're
anxious.
Do you recognize yourself inany one of these leaders?
Have you worked for any one ofthese leaders?
Or maybe at certain points inyour career you've been any or
all three of these leaders Iknow I have.
(07:39):
Look, there are things in ourcontrol, but pandemics, wars,
elections, the loss of your topaccount, downsizing, budget cuts
, goals being doubled, targetsbeing increased exponentially I
can go on and on.
These situations are not inyour control.
You may have accountability,but it's not all on you, and
(08:00):
this is what I mean by beingintentional.
Regardless of what departmentyou work in or what job title
you hold, I'm going to guessthat there's some level or God
help us, should be some level ofannual planning.
There are cycles to businessand whether you work on a
calendar or a fiscal, you wantto start to get to learn the
(08:21):
patterns.
On a calendar or a fiscal, youwant to start to get to learn
the patterns.
Business is lost in one.
People quit or get laid off.
We're overworked, budgets arecut, funding doesn't come in,
timelines are shortened, goalsare doubled, we're given a huge
OKR with very little staff.
This is all normal.
(08:44):
Okay, I should probably not saynormal.
This is all common.
This is common.
It's work, not a hobby.
This needs to happen.
So how do you support yourwellbeing, knowing that these
things are always going to be inthe queue?
The business cycle can bequarterly, yearly or every three
years, but as a leader, youneed to be ready with your
mindset and prepared, which isskills training.
(09:04):
You need to prep now, not then.
So what do we know aboutanxiety and leadership?
Is that if you work in a lesssupportive environment, the
feeling that you're going tohave or the outcome that you are
trying to create, it's going tobe tougher and you may feel
like any mistake you make isgoing to be greater because it
(09:26):
feels like it's all on youbecause it is.
Or you can work in a placewhere they acknowledge your
challenges and effectively sayto you don't drop it, which is
sort of like the helicopterparent who sees the child
carrying the glass of water andsays be careful, don't drop it.
I'm not going to help you, I'mjust going to lay out some words
(09:47):
that hopefully get the outcomethat I want as the leader, but
guess what?
It's still passive, aggressive.
I recall a time I shouldn'tlaugh.
I recall a time where we won apiece of business and then an
executive leader told me that Iwas not going to get the staff
listed on the scope.
(10:07):
But don't tell the client,you're smart, don't worry, you
can figure it out.
So it meant that everyone,including myself, was always
stressing to try to fill thehole in our bucket, and I would
say this went on for about threemonths and it was really
unsustainable.
I don't know how we did it.
I mean, I think we were all intotal burnout and exhaustion and
(10:30):
they told me they appreciatedmy efforts.
This is not supportive.
This doesn't settle nerves andthis, certainly this type of
style, isn't like gonna hit youon your performance review where
they're going to say like, hey,great job there, because it's
all on the down low.
So look, this is a shittyscenario and since we have the
(10:52):
job, it's important that wedon't fall into the overthinking
or the thought loop or thechurn on the situation in front
of us.
I get it Scream if you want tothen manage your mind.
If this keeps happening, maybeyou want to find a new job.
Maybe this isn't the rightenvironment for you, but if this
over thinking keeps happeningat the same time, you need to
(11:15):
figure it out.
You're going to have to fix it.
When I'm in a place of franticthought, hustle and worry, I
know that I shouldn't be takingaction unless I'm running from
like a burning building.
I don't know anyone who'sproduced sustainable and real
results from a place of frantic,anxious, hustle and worry.
(11:38):
I just know that they damagetheir relationships and their
well-being from that place.
I like to say that theuniverse's will is never urgent.
My will is urgent and at somepoint we realize we are in this
obsessive mindset because wecan't think clearly, but we know
we need to fix it.
We need to fix the thing andthen our brain says we can't
(12:01):
stop this.
This is what I do.
I just get anxious like this.
I get it.
I've been there.
But we can stop it.
And I'll tell you, one of thegreatest gifts that I didn't
realize I was giving myself wasthe training to manage my mind.
You know, I had a head injuryand as a result of that, I
studied everything I could do toget my hands on the brain and
(12:21):
begin to test and try whatworked for me, from different
environments to differentthoughts, to nutrition, to tips.
Trust me, I still have momentsof overthinking Just ask my
husband but I will tell you Ican catch it faster today than
when I first started doingmindset work.
(12:42):
It doesn't mean I can alwaysget myself out of the hole right
away, but what I do know isthat I'm doing it to myself,
meaning I'm able to see okay,jill, this is just where you are
today.
You know what.
This is probably not the day tomake decisions.
This is probably not today tocall that person back.
This is probably the day to getwhat you need to do done the
chop wood, the carry water.
(13:03):
But you know what?
You're not going to bestrategic today if you keep
doing this to yourself.
There's the thought, and thenthere's me watching the thought.
I had to learn how to pause andwatch my brain.
I had to build the muscle sothat it was there when I needed
it.
So I'm going to give you acouple of tips which work for me
(13:26):
.
They're not all going to workfor you.
Try one, find one, share one.
I'd love to hear from you.
Tell me if any of these or ifyou have one of your own to get
your brain out of the anxietybecause again, it impacts who
you're being as a leader andtherefore impacts others.
So the first thing I do is Italk to myself as myself and I
(13:47):
say things like thank you forsharing.
It's like there's the me andthen there's my thoughts, and
when I pause and watch my veryclever brain throw all the
obsessive thoughts at me, I justkeep saying thank you for
sharing.
And this gives my brain achance to pause and look if I'm
not in a place where I can getcurious meaning I'm in a meeting
(14:08):
, I'm with a client I'mpresenting, or I'm in a meeting
and I get triggered by somethingthat someone else has said.
I can check in later with howmy body is feeling.
I can feel the sensation ofthat feeling in my body and
allow it versus resist it, and Iknow that can feel scary, but
allowing it tends to only go onfor 90 seconds is what they tell
(14:30):
us from an evolutionary biology.
That sensation of thatneurochemicals moving through
your body is only about 90seconds and then when it stops,
then you have the opportunity tothink again.
But you can't be in thatsensation, that negative feeling
, that sensation and also bestrategic.
One has to stop in order forthe other to start.
(14:53):
The next thing I do is separatestory from fact.
This is sort of like gettingeverything in my head down on a
piece of paper.
I might divide the paper intotwo, write the facts, write the
story, and if I don't put itdown on paper, I can't see all
the things that might be hiddenthere.
There might be sneaky thoughtsthat are still causing some of
(15:15):
my unproductive thinking here.
Right, it's like trying tosolve calculus or long division
in your head.
I don't know about you, but Ineed to write it down.
Get it down and look at whatyou're really thinking and then
decide okay, it might be true,but is it helpful?
So what do you want to doinstead?
How do you want to beintentional instead?
(15:36):
There's also a series ofquestions I'll ask myself.
I might say is this thoughttrue, and can I prove it?
100% proof?
Without a doubt, I usuallycan't.
And what would I do if thiswasn't true and it was just a
thought?
That last question is the onethat always gets me out of
(15:58):
overthinking and into action.
So if I say to myself okay,okay, jill, what would you do
right now.
If this wasn't true, if thiswas just a thought, what actions
would you take?
And then I'm usually able tocome up with the answer, because
it gets me into a differentmindset.
There are two other questionsthat I think about and and I say
to myself what do you think hasgone wrong here?
(16:27):
Or I might ask what do I reallywant out of this situation?
Then I can throw myself intothe classic how important is it?
Question, where I might say howimportant is this going to be
in two minutes, two weeks, twomonths, two years?
Then from there I tend to againit catches myself and I can
decide the priority order andwhat I want to put against this
effort right, is it a majorpriority?
(16:49):
Going back to fear, anxiety andstress narrows our focus.
When I ask myself how importantis this, I can then broaden my
focus.
When I ask myself how importantis this, I can then broaden my
focus.
And then the next is like howcan I handle the situation in
advance?
Who are my internal allies?
Who are my external allies?
(17:14):
What do I need to do and haveready In this scenario that I
gave you above, where I waspromised staff that I wasn't
actually getting.
I started well, first we startedto work and realized that it
was unsustainable.
And then I found a colleagueinternally who had a different
work cycle, meaning they had adifferent seasonality so we were
able to pool some of ourresources and figure out our own
workflow.
That worked.
And yeah, it was all in thedown low, all behind the scene,
but we were able to find a waythat we were still working
(17:37):
through it.
Low, all behind the scene, butwe were able to find a way that
we were still working through it.
Yeah, everyone was stilloverworking.
It definitely sucked, but itwas less of a suck because we
had a team to sort of share thebalance, which meant people were
only overworking a couple ofhours a week versus like 20%
overworking.
Friends, anxiety is going toimpact your approach to
leadership and don't get caughtwithout being prepared.
(17:58):
Do that scenario planning now.
I'm going to suggest that youdo it quarterly and let me know
what works for you and how youget yourself out of anxiety and
back into leadership.
You can always email me yourquestions at hello at
jillgriffincoachingcom.
I hope you try some of thesetips and let me know how it goes
.
All right, I'll see you nexttime.
(18:20):
I'm Jill Griffin, your host ofthe Career Refresh podcast.
My mission is to makeworkplaces more successful for
everyone, so if you have ideasfor topics or future guests,
please email us at hello atjillgriffincoachingcom.
Until next time, embracepossibility, be generous,
intentional and kind.
Hi friends, this is Jill Griffin, the host of the
Career Refresh.
Today I'm talking about howanxiety impacts our leadership
style.
My hope is that, if you areimpacted by anxiety, that
shining a light on the issuewill help you create the change
that you want to ease anyworkplace-related anxiety.
(00:20):
All right, let's jump inanxiety.
All right, let's jump in.
Okay, friends, if you arelistening to this when this
episode drops and you're human,I'm going to guess that there's
a lot going on for you.
And when you add in what'sgoing on perhaps for you locally
(00:40):
, nationally and globally, itcan feel really overwhelming.
Many of us have experienced thejoy of overthinking at some
point in our careers and yes,I'm being sarcastic we fall into
the trap of thinking,rethinking, churning, burning
our mental energy as if somehowit will help us solve the
(01:05):
situation, and we find ourselvesmoving faster because we need
to solve it.
But you're not making decisions, you're making more thoughts,
and this can feel heavy, maybe alittle bit of a depressed
feeling.
Or, if you're like me, when theanxiety hits, there's this
constant, almost like electrichum in my body that tends to
(01:29):
accumulate around my heart andin my chest region and then it
flows up to my throat and itfeels like a big knot in my
throat, and because you've beenruminating about all the things
for so long, it might feel likeyou are making progress.
But overthinking is not astrategy, it is not problem
(01:50):
solving.
It's running the same formulathrough the system over and over
again and you end up with thesame answer.
So now you add on the layer ofleadership and you're
responsible.
How are you going to performwhen you have anxiety, when you
are under stress or anxietyright, we'll use those words
(02:11):
interchangeably in this episode.
Our attention narrows.
We tend to focus our efforts onone area of our responsibility,
one area that feelscontrollable, so we end up
ignoring the areas that feel ormay be actually out of control.
Stress, anxiety and fear narrowour attention.
(02:35):
So once again, your brain isworking the way it should.
There's nothing to worry here.
But listen in.
If you've been a longtimelistener, then you know that
your brain is doing what it'strained to do.
Your body is responding to theharm, the danger, whether it's
real or perceived.
So your body is responding theway it's supposed to.
(02:56):
It's going to keep trying tokeep you away from harm, and
what used to be running awayfrom danger is now wanting to
run away from an unhealthyworkplace or an unhealthy
workplace scenario.
It's the old evolutionarybiology when the zebra is
(03:16):
running from the lion, it is notthinking about the food and the
grocery shopping it needs to doto get for dinner right.
Single point of focus.
Everything else that feelssecondary gets moved aside.
But is it secondary?
And here's where our leadershipstyle comes in.
I'm not going to bury the leadhere.
You need to be intentional andthink about the things before
(03:39):
they're on upon you.
You need to strengthen themuscle now.
You you need to strengthen themuscle now.
You need to plan a way todeflate and diffuse the anxiety.
You need strategy.
So if you think about yourpersonality or perhaps the
environment you were brought upin, I want you to really think
about that.
Some of us may sit in anxiety.
It's like sitting in that dirtydiaper, right.
(04:00):
We may deal with it by eatingor not eating, or drinking, or
using recreational drugs, orbinging on YouTube shorts or
playing video games for hours.
Any way you look at it, you'redoing that action to avoid the
feeling.
You are definitely trying tonot feel the thing that you're
(04:20):
feeling.
So you take these actions.
Some of us resort to what I'llcall control, and this is not a
good thing.
Like we can be real dicks here.
Some of us are sitting inanxiety and we try to wield our
power over others Again, so wedon't feel the thing that we're
anxious about.
We focus on something else.
(04:42):
We might get stricter, we mightmicromanage, shorten the leech,
tighten the timeline.
We may even wield our powerover our direct reports.
And though this behavior isterrible and it's probably been
modeled to us somewhere else inour lives like lying either.
Like lying either intentionallyor by omission, being rude,
(05:07):
ridiculing, being short, takingon a tone, yelling Good luck to
those that we live with and love, because they're also going to
be subjected to this.
All the people around us,whether it's in the workplace
environment or outside theworkplace, tend to be getting
the brunt of this wielding ofour power, and we know these
(05:27):
types.
I mean, I know these types.
It feels hostile, maybe a bitabusive, to be on the receiving
end, and often I find that thistype of leadership style can be
standoffish and they're notgoing to help their direct
reports achieve the goal.
Their direct reports are ontheir own.
Another type of leadershipstyle that I see emerge in
(05:50):
stressful situations are thepeople pleasers.
It's a different type ofcontrol.
It's more subtle, it's morenuanced, but let's be clear,
it's still control.
They tend to put everyoneelse's need before their own or
at least that's what it lookslike and they're not being
honest.
(06:10):
They are doing what they'redoing for you because they want
something from you, but theycan't be direct, they can't just
ask.
There's a little bit of passiveaggressiveness and it's
manipulation.
It's really a lie Again.
It may look nicer, but it's not.
It can come with a smilewanting to make sure everyone's
(06:30):
okay, but did you get this done?
They burn out fast and thistype of leader can feel well if
you're on the receiving end.
It can feel really icky andpassive, aggressive because
nothing is what it seems.
Feel really icky and passive,aggressive because nothing is
what it seems.
And the last anxiety suffererstyle I see is those that lean
towards hope and possibility.
(06:52):
They still feel the anxiety.
However, when they're in thisplace of possibility, they're
less likely to seek control overothers.
They tend to have a more openapproach.
They look at the individuals infront of them as actual people,
versus pawns or tasks.
They tend to be collaborative.
They tend to ask other peopleto weigh in with their opinions.
(07:15):
They have tools in theirrepertoire to get their own
anxiety down.
They tend to pause, maybebreathe through it when they're
anxious.
Do you recognize yourself inany one of these leaders?
Have you worked for any one ofthese leaders?
Or maybe at certain points inyour career you've been any or
all three of these leaders Iknow I have.
(07:39):
Look, there are things in ourcontrol, but pandemics, wars,
elections, the loss of your topaccount, downsizing, budget cuts
, goals being doubled, targetsbeing increased exponentially I
can go on and on.
These situations are not inyour control.
You may have accountability,but it's not all on you, and
(08:00):
this is what I mean by beingintentional.
Regardless of what departmentyou work in or what job title
you hold, I'm going to guessthat there's some level or God
help us, should be some level ofannual planning.
There are cycles to businessand whether you work on a
calendar or a fiscal, you wantto start to get to learn the
(08:21):
patterns.
On a calendar or a fiscal, youwant to start to get to learn
the patterns.
Business is lost in one.
People quit or get laid off.
We're overworked, budgets arecut, funding doesn't come in,
timelines are shortened, goalsare doubled, we're given a huge
OKR with very little staff.
This is all normal.
(08:44):
Okay, I should probably not saynormal.
This is all common.
This is common.
It's work, not a hobby.
This needs to happen.
So how do you support yourwellbeing, knowing that these
things are always going to be inthe queue?
The business cycle can bequarterly, yearly or every three
years, but as a leader, youneed to be ready with your
mindset and prepared, which isskills training.
(09:04):
You need to prep now, not then.
So what do we know aboutanxiety and leadership?
Is that if you work in a lesssupportive environment, the
feeling that you're going tohave or the outcome that you are
trying to create, it's going tobe tougher and you may feel
like any mistake you make isgoing to be greater because it
(09:26):
feels like it's all on youbecause it is.
Or you can work in a placewhere they acknowledge your
challenges and effectively sayto you don't drop it, which is
sort of like the helicopterparent who sees the child
carrying the glass of water andsays be careful, don't drop it.
I'm not going to help you, I'mjust going to lay out some words
(09:47):
that hopefully get the outcomethat I want as the leader, but
guess what?
It's still passive, aggressive.
I recall a time I shouldn'tlaugh.
I recall a time where we won apiece of business and then an
executive leader told me that Iwas not going to get the staff
listed on the scope.
(10:07):
But don't tell the client,you're smart, don't worry, you
can figure it out.
So it meant that everyone,including myself, was always
stressing to try to fill thehole in our bucket, and I would
say this went on for about threemonths and it was really
unsustainable.
I don't know how we did it.
I mean, I think we were all intotal burnout and exhaustion and
(10:30):
they told me they appreciatedmy efforts.
This is not supportive.
This doesn't settle nerves andthis, certainly this type of
style, isn't like gonna hit youon your performance review where
they're going to say like, hey,great job there, because it's
all on the down low.
So look, this is a shittyscenario and since we have the
(10:52):
job, it's important that wedon't fall into the overthinking
or the thought loop or thechurn on the situation in front
of us.
I get it Scream if you want tothen manage your mind.
If this keeps happening, maybeyou want to find a new job.
Maybe this isn't the rightenvironment for you, but if this
over thinking keeps happeningat the same time, you need to
(11:15):
figure it out.
You're going to have to fix it.
When I'm in a place of franticthought, hustle and worry, I
know that I shouldn't be takingaction unless I'm running from
like a burning building.
I don't know anyone who'sproduced sustainable and real
results from a place of frantic,anxious, hustle and worry.
(11:38):
I just know that they damagetheir relationships and their
well-being from that place.
I like to say that theuniverse's will is never urgent.
My will is urgent and at somepoint we realize we are in this
obsessive mindset because wecan't think clearly, but we know
we need to fix it.
We need to fix the thing andthen our brain says we can't
(12:01):
stop this.
This is what I do.
I just get anxious like this.
I get it.
I've been there.
But we can stop it.
And I'll tell you, one of thegreatest gifts that I didn't
realize I was giving myself wasthe training to manage my mind.
You know, I had a head injuryand as a result of that, I
studied everything I could do toget my hands on the brain and
(12:21):
begin to test and try whatworked for me, from different
environments to differentthoughts, to nutrition, to tips.
Trust me, I still have momentsof overthinking Just ask my
husband but I will tell you Ican catch it faster today than
when I first started doingmindset work.
(12:42):
It doesn't mean I can alwaysget myself out of the hole right
away, but what I do know isthat I'm doing it to myself,
meaning I'm able to see okay,jill, this is just where you are
today.
You know what.
This is probably not the day tomake decisions.
This is probably not today tocall that person back.
This is probably the day to getwhat you need to do done the
chop wood, the carry water.
(13:03):
But you know what?
You're not going to bestrategic today if you keep
doing this to yourself.
There's the thought, and thenthere's me watching the thought.
I had to learn how to pause andwatch my brain.
I had to build the muscle sothat it was there when I needed
it.
So I'm going to give you acouple of tips which work for me
(13:26):
.
They're not all going to workfor you.
Try one, find one, share one.
I'd love to hear from you.
Tell me if any of these or ifyou have one of your own to get
your brain out of the anxietybecause again, it impacts who
you're being as a leader andtherefore impacts others.
So the first thing I do is Italk to myself as myself and I
(13:47):
say things like thank you forsharing.
It's like there's the me andthen there's my thoughts, and
when I pause and watch my veryclever brain throw all the
obsessive thoughts at me, I justkeep saying thank you for
sharing.
And this gives my brain achance to pause and look if I'm
not in a place where I can getcurious meaning I'm in a meeting
(14:08):
, I'm with a client I'mpresenting, or I'm in a meeting
and I get triggered by somethingthat someone else has said.
I can check in later with howmy body is feeling.
I can feel the sensation ofthat feeling in my body and
allow it versus resist it, and Iknow that can feel scary, but
allowing it tends to only go onfor 90 seconds is what they tell
(14:30):
us from an evolutionary biology.
That sensation of thatneurochemicals moving through
your body is only about 90seconds and then when it stops,
then you have the opportunity tothink again.
But you can't be in thatsensation, that negative feeling
, that sensation and also bestrategic.
One has to stop in order forthe other to start.
(14:53):
The next thing I do is separatestory from fact.
This is sort of like gettingeverything in my head down on a
piece of paper.
I might divide the paper intotwo, write the facts, write the
story, and if I don't put itdown on paper, I can't see all
the things that might be hiddenthere.
There might be sneaky thoughtsthat are still causing some of
(15:15):
my unproductive thinking here.
Right, it's like trying tosolve calculus or long division
in your head.
I don't know about you, but Ineed to write it down.
Get it down and look at whatyou're really thinking and then
decide okay, it might be true,but is it helpful?
So what do you want to doinstead?
How do you want to beintentional instead?
(15:36):
There's also a series ofquestions I'll ask myself.
I might say is this thoughttrue, and can I prove it?
100% proof?
Without a doubt, I usuallycan't.
And what would I do if thiswasn't true and it was just a
thought?
That last question is the onethat always gets me out of
(15:58):
overthinking and into action.
So if I say to myself okay,okay, jill, what would you do
right now.
If this wasn't true, if thiswas just a thought, what actions
would you take?
And then I'm usually able tocome up with the answer, because
it gets me into a differentmindset.
There are two other questionsthat I think about and and I say
to myself what do you think hasgone wrong here?
(16:27):
Or I might ask what do I reallywant out of this situation?
Then I can throw myself intothe classic how important is it?
Question, where I might say howimportant is this going to be
in two minutes, two weeks, twomonths, two years?
Then from there I tend to againit catches myself and I can
decide the priority order andwhat I want to put against this
effort right, is it a majorpriority?
(16:49):
Going back to fear, anxiety andstress narrows our focus.
When I ask myself how importantis this, I can then broaden my
focus.
When I ask myself how importantis this, I can then broaden my
focus.
And then the next is like howcan I handle the situation in
advance?
Who are my internal allies?
Who are my external allies?
(17:14):
What do I need to do and haveready In this scenario that I
gave you above, where I waspromised staff that I wasn't
actually getting.
I started well, first we startedto work and realized that it
was unsustainable.
And then I found a colleagueinternally who had a different
work cycle, meaning they had adifferent seasonality so we were
able to pool some of ourresources and figure out our own
workflow.
That worked.
And yeah, it was all in thedown low, all behind the scene,
but we were able to find a waythat we were still working
(17:37):
through it.
Low, all behind the scene, butwe were able to find a way that
we were still working through it.
Yeah, everyone was stilloverworking.
It definitely sucked, but itwas less of a suck because we
had a team to sort of share thebalance, which meant people were
only overworking a couple ofhours a week versus like 20%
overworking.
Friends, anxiety is going toimpact your approach to
leadership and don't get caughtwithout being prepared.
(17:58):
Do that scenario planning now.
I'm going to suggest that youdo it quarterly and let me know
what works for you and how youget yourself out of anxiety and
back into leadership.
You can always email me yourquestions at hello at
jillgriffincoachingcom.
I hope you try some of thesetips and let me know how it goes
.
All right, I'll see you nexttime.
(18:20):
I'm Jill Griffin, your host ofthe Career Refresh podcast.
My mission is to makeworkplaces more successful for
everyone, so if you have ideasfor topics or future guests,
please email us at hello atjillgriffincoachingcom.
Until next time, embracepossibility, be generous,
intentional and kind.
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