Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome back to
the Career Refresh podcast.
I am your host, jill Griffin,and today we are talking about a
favorite or perhaps unfavoritetopic of mine, and that is
uncertainty.
And everyone's talking about it, even if they're not actually
saying the words, whether it'sthe state of the world, the
state of your workplace, thestate of your life.
(00:21):
There is a lot of uncertaintyout there, and what I have found
over the years is that theantidote to uncertainty is not
certainty.
I know seems like it would be.
We're going to dig into it nowand talk about what it is,
what's going on and what you cando as day-to-day tasks to start
(00:43):
to alleviate some of thatuncertainty, which shows up
often as fear or anxiety orstressed Ready, let's dig in.
Okay, in today's market,everything from the work
environment to the media, tomainstream media, to news, to
(01:06):
politics it is a constantbarrage of information made to
help you stay connected, and tostay connected means that you're
constantly getting hit with allthis information.
What I am telling you right nowis not new.
You know this.
But what we're starting to seeis there's even a McKinsey
survey about 79% of employeesreport that workplace
(01:28):
uncertainty directly impactstheir productivity, and workers
are losing on average of alittle over two hours a day in
work-related distraction becauseof uncertainty.
There's another study from theAmerican Psychological
Association that found that 64%of professionals cite
uncertainty as their primaryworkplace stressor, which is
(01:51):
ahead of the workload, the jerkycolleague or poor management.
So this uncertainty doesn'tjust affect our output.
It erodes our relationships andwe also have seen recently
there's a study that says 58% ofemployees report increased
tension with colleagues duringpeak periods of organizational
(02:14):
change and restructuring.
And as we're looking at thenews, as companies are
restructuring, potentiallydownsizing and doing layoffs,
that's when this all starts tobubble.
Above its main line, innovationsuffers.
Companies are experiencing a31% decrease in creative problem
solving and this is all,according to the Harvest
(02:35):
Business Review.
All right.
So why?
I always love to go to sciencethat our brains aren't wired for
uncertainty?
We can handle a little bit ofscience that our brains aren't
wired for uncertainty?
We can handle a little bit, butthis level of prolonged
uncertainty is just too much forour brains to handle.
Right Between elections andCOVID, and then more election
and economic uncertainty and jobmarket turbulence and
(02:57):
mainstream media reminding youyou know, bees attack.
It could happen to you, rightLike that whole strain of like
making you anxious, making youtune in so they can get the
ratings, they can get the money.
Listen, I worked in media mywhole life.
I get how it works right, so Ijust want you to be aware of it.
What's happening is theamygdala right in your brain.
(03:17):
It's the threat detection.
It's that light housing orbeaconing like what's going on,
is everything okay, is somethinggoing to happen next?
And it interprets ambiguity aspotential danger.
It also interprets the unknownthe future, a minute from now,
an hour from now, a month fromnow, a year from now.
The unknown is what createsthat anxiety, because we like
(03:38):
control and we like to know.
So this triggers that fight orflight response that I talk
about and it floods our bodieswith neurochemicals, also known
as stress hormones, and it pullsall the resources away from our
prefrontal cortex, right whatwe know to be true for sore, in
that a stretch situationreleases both DHEA and cortisol.
(03:59):
It depends on which of thosehormones, depending on your
thoughts.
So if you are stressed becauseyou think the line is going to
eat you, it is DHEA, it is fear,all secondary systems shut down
because we need to be able torun.
If you're like all right, I gota challenge in front of me.
What am I going to do About toget on the court?
(04:22):
Maybe it's sport related.
Maybe you're in a new businesspitch and you want to compete
against another team.
That's cortisol, right?
That actually brings attentionto the prefrontal cortex.
So the difference between thetwo, between that level of
stress both are stress, but thedifference is the thought that
connects to it.
So this result we spend preciousamount of mental energy
(04:48):
attempting to predict the futureand we create scenarios that
may never materialize.
And listen, if you are creatingscenarios that don't
materialize and they're all goodand great, have at it, go for
it, right, because it's keepingyou in a buoyant state.
I'm not suggesting that you'dbe delusional and lie to
yourself.
I'm just saying, if you'resaying you know, matt, maybe it
will work out, if you want tospend time there, I'm all for it
(05:11):
.
It's that we often spend timein that negative bias that our
brains have and we think aboutscenarios that will never
materialize and experiencingthat anxiety.
It's about outcomes that wecan't control.
How many times have you been ina situation where you think to
yourself you know what, if thatever happens again?
This is what I'm going to sayto them.
(05:32):
And if they say this, I'm goingto say that.
Or if they write that, I'mgoing to write this, and guess
what?
The scenario never plays out.
It never happens.
The only place it's playing outis in your head.
So I am not taking away from allof us that there are real we're
living in strange times, right.
I'm not taking away that thereis not real uncertainty in
various pockets, but there'salso things that you can be
(05:54):
certain about.
So the path forward here isunderstanding that the antidote
to uncertainty isn't certainty,it's being present.
And when we anchor ourselves inthe present moment, we can
recognize that right now, inthis moment, in this instance,
I'm a woman sitting in a chairon a gray day that's drizzly and
(06:16):
rainy, recording a podcast.
I'm not what's going on in thejob market.
I'm not what's going on in mybusiness.
I'm not what's going on in theeconomic uncertainty.
To having a chat, it's acompletely different way of
approaching because it keeps mepresent.
(06:36):
So what we know is that when wecome back, we can recognize in
the instant that we're okay andmost fear only exists in the
future.
It's a timeline hasn't occurredand it may never come to pass.
A little bit more research.
University of California foundthat individuals who practice
mindfulness techniques show a28% reduction in stress hormones
(06:59):
and report a 40% improvement infocus when they are in periods
of uncertainty.
And then the Journal ofOccupational Health and
Psychology demonstrated thatemployees that stay in present
moment awareness techniques andthat are trained in them and are
practicing them are able tohave improved resilience and
better handle workplacechallenges.
(07:20):
That's why I meditate every dayWell, almost every day.
That's why I've even learnedhow to meditate on the subway.
I know now how to lean and dropinto meditation so that I can
manage my mind and stay present.
Now I'm going to tell you alittle story.
I did an episode about thisabout two or so years ago.
I'll drop the link in the shownotes, but it is the day that it
(07:42):
really clicked for me aboutbeing present.
So if you've been listening fora while, you know that I had a
head injury and the PTSD offalling again or having my head
get hit again is something thatI mean.
Maybe it'll go away someday,but it's always kind of there.
Even when I go to the gym, I'mreally cautious, I'm really
careful.
(08:02):
I'm afraid of falling.
I don't really need that.
I'm also on freelancer's healthinsurance, so I definitely
don't need that.
But it was suggested to me thatI go and consider using equine
therapy.
It's something that the USmilitary uses with soldiers to
help them with PTSD and to helpthem recover.
You can read about why it works.
(08:23):
I'm not going to get into thatthere.
I'm just going to sit here andtell you that I had this
experience where I'm nowstanding in a ring with a
therapist who's a psychologistin addition to a specialist in
equine therapy, and she'stelling me well, she hands me a
carrot and she's telling me nomatter what, stay still and stay
(08:45):
present.
Now I'm in a ring where there'sprobably 50 to 75 horses.
These horses are what?
1200 pounds, 1500 pounds, andthey're everything from
Clydesdales, you know, full-onwork horses to race horses.
They all are rescue horses,basically, have been in
unfortunate and horriblesituations and they're at this
(09:06):
farm.
So the horses are just doingtheir thing, walking around the
ring.
Some of them are running andgalloping, other of them are
just having a snack, and I'msitting here again in the middle
of the ring and my mind isracing because, as they're
picking up speed and the onesthat are running.
I can feel the wind thatthey're creating as it goes by
me and I'm like, okay, thishorse is going to accidentally
(09:30):
hit me, its shoulder,essentially, is going to hit me
and I'm going to be propelledGod knows where.
So I was getting, I could seethe reaction in my body and that
I was starting to tremble.
And as that anxiety, that futuretripping, started to peak, the
therapist kept saying don't move, don't move, stay, stay.
(09:51):
Like the way I would talk to mydog.
Stay, don't move, stay, stay.
Like the way I would talk to mydog Stay, stay present, don't
move.
And she just kept saying that.
And meanwhile I've had like astring of profoundities in my
head, like are you bleeping,kidding me right now?
And then I started to realize,as I saw a horse galloping
towards me, that in this momentI'm fine and in this moment I'm
(10:14):
fine, and in this moment I'mfine and in this second I'm fine
.
It's only when I future trip outa couple of seconds or a minute
away, that I start to realizethat that fear might be real,
but in this moment, where I'mstanding here and that horse is
far enough away, it's not real.
And I know it may sound insane,but in that moment it clicked
(10:35):
to me the understanding of whywe always tell people to stay
present, because it's in thepresence that I'm just a woman
with boots in muck, standing ina ring with a lot of horses
around me, so anchoring myselfin the present feeling, my feet
on the ground, noticing mybreathing.
Anchoring myself in the presentfeeling, my feet on the ground,
(10:56):
noticing my breathing, reallywatching that fear subside.
And at the end, when the horsecompleted its circuit of running
, it did come over and lick myhand.
It was nudging a pocket to tryto find the carrot.
All very sweet and notthreatening at all.
(11:19):
I love horses.
I'm not afraid of horses.
To be clear, I was afraid ofthe impact of a you know,
1,200-pound horse or vehiclehitting me.
It was so profound, it reallytransformed how I started to
approach uncertainty and thatwhen I feel that anxiety rising
and listen, I live with a lowgrade of anxiety every single
day.
Why?
Because I'm constantlypredicting or trying to navigate
(11:41):
the future and that's where Iconstantly have to come back to
the present and I know that it'sa signal that I can tap in to
some tools and that's what Iwant to share with you.
There's the 5-4-3-2-1 techniquewhen your anxiety starts to
spike and you feel yourselfpanicky.
For me it's a tightness in mychest, it's a tightness in my
(12:02):
throat.
I start to feel my heartbeatbecause of when I fell.
I hear through bone now.
So the sound of my ownheartbeat every day is always
like a bass drum or somethingechoing in my head, but it goes
above its baseline.
So finding, really quickly,staying present, five things you
(12:24):
can see the floor, the window,the picture on the wall, the
carpet, the dog.
Four things you can touch thefloor, the window, the picture
on the wall, the carpet, the dog.
Four things you can touch thedesk, the keyboard, the
microphone, the.
What else can I touch?
My eyeglasses, right and goingthrough that, three things that
I can hear.
And even if you can't hearanything, then it's the sound of
silence.
Right, I can hear rustling ofanimals, squirrels and stuff
(12:48):
outside.
I can hear the rustling of thetrees, those kinds of things.
Two things that you can smell.
Listen, one of them might beyour own breath, and that's okay
.
And then one thing you cantaste, which also might be the
toothpaste you had this morning,the sip of coffee you had
moments ago or the taste of yourown taste.
Those things rapidly bring youback to the present, because you
(13:08):
can't be future tripping whileyou're also trying to look for
four things that you can touchright.
It's not possible.
The next thing is finding athree-minute breathing space.
You can just count it, you canput it on your phone, you can do
box breathing, breathe in forfour, hold for two or four, out
for four.
Right, finding that moment andspending a minute focusing
(13:31):
solely on your breath.
And this is where you start tobe able to regulate your body
and bring it down and staypresent.
The next thing I'm going to tellyou is to question those
predictions when the futurestarts, or when yourself starts
to ask you about your future,saying you know this is going to
happen, it's gonna be like thisand I'm going to get laid off
(13:53):
and this is da-da-da-da-da, allthe things.
Well, ask yourself is thisgoing to happen?
What evidence do I have?
Can I prove that it's going tohappen?
What is actually happeningright now?
When you start to ask yourselfyour questions, you will know
and you will notice that you arein the future tripping of your
anxiety.
And it feels true, I get it.
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It feels true, but it's nottrue because you can't prove it.
There's a way of constantlycoming back to yourself and
learning how to practice thesetools.
And come back to managing yourmind.
The last thing I'd say fortoday is I want you to speak to
yourself as if you were talkingto someone you absolutely adore.
(14:35):
When your thoughts rise and youhave these thoughts about oh my
God, what's going to happen,you wouldn't yell at someone you
loved or adored because theywere having these thoughts.
I'm guessing there's probablysome version of you that's like
hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down,we're going to be all right.
We're going to be all right.
Okay, all right, let's just sittogether for a bit, right?
(14:56):
There's some level that youwould look to soothe that person
and not tell them to calm downor to like get over it, or I
don't know why you keep thinkingthis way, but so often that's
what we do to ourselves.
We aren't kind to ourselves,and one of the ways that I
always think about it is I havea mini poodle chihuahua mix.
(15:21):
We got her from the shelter, soI only know parts of her
backstory A lot of food scarcityin her background, and if you
know anything about chihuahuas.
You know that they are shakers,shaky, shake, right, they are
nervous and they shake a lot.
She shakes like crazy about 10minutes before her scheduled
mealtime.
She's in complete fear.
(15:42):
She can't concentrate, she'sshaking.
She's shaking, I mean it breaksyour heart.
Looking at her, right, I'm notgoing to look at my dog.
Her name is Charlie.
I'm not going to look at my dogand say, hey, charlie, calm
down, knock it off.
No one anywhere tellingsomebody to calm down has ever
worked.
I'm going to say, which is whatI've done twice a day for eight
(16:02):
years All right, sweetie, youwill always have food.
As long as you were together,you will always have food.
I'm as you wear it together.
You will always have food.
I'm going to feed you.
I want you to have that kind oftone to yourself.
Speak nicely to yourself.
(16:23):
And we do this because the brain, going back to that amygdala,
starts to calm down when we arein the sensation of fear or
anxiety.
We are in the physicalsensation and we're in that
panic.
We need that to settle down,which is one of the ways of
doing it is to calming yourselfby any of these exercises I
talked about, and then, oncethat's settled, guess what your
prefrontal cortex can.
Come back online and start tothink strategically about what
you want to do next when you'rein it.
(16:43):
You can't think You've heardthat you can't read the label
from inside the jar when you'rein it.
You can't think You've heardthat you can't read the label
from inside the jar when you'rein it.
You can't think you need to beout of the sensation of fear and
anxiety in order to think Allright, friends, listen,
practicing presence, practicingbeing present using these tools.
Go Google around and find someothers if these aren't the ones
that work for you, but I wantyou to practice navigating and
(17:03):
understanding that you arenavigating uncertainty, but
you're trying to navigate itwith certainty, and the only
thing that's certain are yourown thoughts.
You have to navigateuncertainty through being
present.
This allows us to maintainfocus, creativity and really
keep connections with people,despite whatever the world has
(17:25):
in store for us.
All right, I appreciate you somuch and if you want to have, if
you have any questions and youwant to send them to me, email
me at hello atjillgriffincoachingcom.
I will answer them, I'll emailyou back, I'll bring them on the
show.
Just practice presence and havea great week.
Okay, be kind to yourself, talkto you soon.
(17:46):
Bye.