When Motivation Stalls: Why You’re Stuck Between “Fine" and "Future"

When motivation fades it's an opportunity to get curious. This episode unpacks why we often stall before what’s next, and how to reignite your drive by shifting your thoughts just slightly toward possibility. Learn how believable, neutral thoughts can rebuild momentum, confidence, and clarity.

Teaser Bullets:

• Why motivation fades when your future feels unclear
• How to use believable thoughts to shift your mindset and energy
• The simple mental reset that helps you take action again

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Jill Griffin, host of The Career Refresh, delivers expert guidance on workplace challenges and career transitions. Jill leverages her experience working for the world's top brands like Coca-Cola, Microsoft, Hilton Hotels, and Martha Stewart to address leadership, burnout, team dynamics, and the 4Ps (perfectionism, people-pleasing, procrastination, and personalities).

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey, welcome back to the Career Refresh.
I am Jill Griffin, your host.
Today we're talking aboutmotivation.
And it's something that I'mhearing a lot of people talk
about.
My clients are asking about it,especially when things feel a
little hard right now.
So if you're looking for a job,job market, it feels hard.

(00:20):
People are looking and needingto stay motivated because the
process now is taking longerthan it had previously.
We're hearing that from start tofinish the job search could take
up to five months, but that'sfrom starting your resume,
getting your mindset ready andprepared, getting into market,
getting interviews, et cetera.
So that can be five months.
Once you are in the market andhaving uh interviews and

(00:43):
starting to gain traction, we'rehearing that that is taking
about 45 days from your initialinterviews to actually finding
out whether or not you're thecandidate or not and getting the
offer, right?
So that is taking a little bitlonger.
And sometimes it's hard to staymotivated, even when you're in a
job and things are fine, but themarketplace is changing and

(01:03):
you're trying to figure out howto navigate and reach your goals
before the end of the quarter orbefore whatever the time period
is.
So you might be sitting in thisplace where things aren't
terrible, but they're not thatgreat either.
And you're not miserable, butyou're also not lit up.
You're functional, you're notfulfilled, right?
That's the place that I'mtalking about.
And this becomes this gray zonewhere motivation often fails.

(01:26):
So I want to remind you, you'renot lazy, you're not broken.
This is what happens.
This is welcome to being human,right?
It's because sometimes we feelthis way, because staying
exactly where we are, as Ialways say, sometimes staying in
your dirty diaper feels easierthan the effort because you've
tried a lot of things and youdon't know how to get out of
this, whatever the stuckness,the situation is to motivate

(01:48):
you.
So sometimes staying where youare feels easier than the effort
it would be to figure it out,build, and then start to create
what's next.
So today I want to talk aboutwhat really causes these
motivational slumps, why itoften shows up right around a
big transition, and also how toreignite your overall idea of

(02:10):
possibility, especially whenyour energy feels really low or
foggy, right?
Your future might start to feelfoggy.
All right, let's dig in.
So motivation does not slip ordisappear overnight.
It might feel that way, but itis slow.

(02:32):
It's like that slow drip or theslow chipping away.
It starts to dissolve.
It might feel almost like it'sdissolving quietly and you don't
realize it.
And then all of a sudden, yourenergy is no longer connecting
to the future that you'recreating.
And again, that future might betomorrow, it might be next
month, it might be in a yearfrom now, it might be bigger
than that, right?

(02:52):
But this is what we're saying.
It's like it is very slow andsometimes insidious.
So your future vision feels toofar away, or it feels unclear,
or everything you've tried isn'tworking.
And then your brain starts tosay, well, it's a little bit
hard to start generatingenthusiasm, do the same thing.
I've already applied to ahundred jobs and you know, that

(03:13):
kind of thing.
Like, where am I going fromhere?
So it's really hard sometimes tosee where you're going when you
don't know where you're going.
And again, it's just becomes alack of vision, right?
There's lack of clarity andtherefore impacts your vision.
So the first thing that I tellyou to do is get clear on what

(03:34):
you do know.
This is your non-negotiables.
This is things like how do youwant to um show up through this
process?
How do you want to behave as aleader?
We're leaders at all levels.
So it's not just because you'rean executive leadership.
You can also be in a moreentry-level or junior position
and also be representing as aleader.
So it's really thinking throughhow do I want to show up as a

(03:55):
leader?
What are the ways that I'm gonnashow up?
Also, you might want to thinkabout things like your overall
needs, like for health andwellness and family time and
friends and socialize.
All of that has to come in towhat you're creating.
And then our brains are wired toconserve energy.
I've talked about this before.
There's the motivational triad,right?

(04:16):
Our brains are here to seekpleasure, food, procreation,
avoid pain, which used to befire and animals.
Now it could be emails frombosses or the loss of jobs or
trying to figure out how to staymotivated when you've got that
huge client meeting next week,and you also have one the
following week, and you're like,how am I gonna get through this,

(04:36):
right?
Avoiding pain.
And the last thing it does is,and it is, well, not the last
thing, but the last thing in themotivational triad that it does
is it needs to be efficient.
And that's just to save energy.
So it's it's why we repeat thesame thoughts over and over.
It's why sometimes you're in thecar and you're driving and all
of a sudden you get to yourdestination.
You don't know how you got therebecause your brain's kind of on
all autopilot.

(04:57):
Um, I used to experience this alot on the subway where I would
leave the office and all of asudden be like putting my key
into my door and be like, Idon't even remember getting
here, right?
Because your brain is working onautopilot.
It's saving energy.
So there's no compelling reasonif your brain is in a saving
energy mode.
There's no compelling me reasonto push forward.
And we might default to comfortor even comfort, even though it

(05:21):
doesn't really feel that good.
It's like, again, the dirtydiver I know is better than the
one that I don't know.
So I want us to sort of borrowfrom research and looking at
some insights that there arecommon reasons why this may
happen.
And one of these may be what'shappening for you.
First is overload.
You are spread way too thin, andthat feels like everything you

(05:44):
need to do feels heavy.
So between personal commitmentsand professional commitments,
and maybe also parts of yoursocial life, everything feels
like you are in overload.
The next one is self-doubt.
You might be unsure.
You're not sure where to move.
So, you know what?
It's easier to stay where I am.
Emotional fatigue is anotherreal one where you've been in
survival for so long, or you'vebeen trying to do this for so

(06:07):
long that you start to lose yourdrive and it basically has gone
offline.
There could be a misalignment,right?
You're working hard and you'reputting in a lot of work and you
might be more in the busynessversus the creation of value.
But even if you're in thecreation of value, maybe, maybe
it's not getting noticed, oryou're not noticing that you're

(06:28):
making it, you're making strivesto move forward, right?
So you're starting to feel thismisalignment, like I'm doing all
this, but the rewards aren'tcoming.
And again, there might just be acomplete lack of clarity where
in this current market, I'mhearing a lot of businesses are
starting to pivot goals, but westill need to uh hit the goals
that are currently.
So as we're sort of turning thatship and turning those tides,

(06:51):
it's can sometimes be hard ifyou're if you're like navigating
your way there and you don'tnecessarily know how you're
doing and you don't have realdata to see how you're doing, or
it can be that you've simplyoutgrown the goals that you set
for yourself previously and youhaven't had a chance to define
new ones or you haven't beenintentional in defining new

(07:12):
ones.
So, again, those are some of thereasons why we find that these
are some real triggers that aresitting behind why you might be
losing your motivation.
And each one of these things candisconnect you from your why.
And that's where the motivationlives, right?
You have to get back into thewhy.
So moving from feeling stuckinto possible, this is where we

(07:34):
might be seeing like there's aturning point, right?
It's not again about pushingharder, it's about finding how
to feel slightly better inlittle incremental steps, right?
Because you can't go from I loveto I hate or I hate to I love,
right?
It's that's a really hard switchfor your brain where you're in

(07:54):
the two opposing sides versusincrementally getting there.
So you don't leap from I hatethis to oh my God, I love this,
right?
It just doesn't happen.
The brain doesn't, your brain isnot gonna buy that.
So what we start to do is we aimfor neutrality.
We want to neutralize thethought.
An analogy I often make, if anyof you have driven a standard

(08:16):
car, right?
Sorry, like an automatic car, umstick shift, you can't go from
first to fifth gear withoutpassing through neutral.
Well, you'll blow the clutch,right?
This is what we want to do.
We want to neutralize some ofthose thoughts so that we can
start building other thoughtsthat are believable.
So you want to do this really,really in slow, slow increments.

(08:38):
When something starts to feelpossible, it's gonna change how
you feel.
And when you start feelingdifferently, you have a better
chance of taking action.
And that action becomes morenatural.
So you might want to thinkthings like, it's possible this
will feel different.
Because it is possible that itwill feel different.
And your brain can believe that.
You may also want to askyourself, okay, but what can I

(08:58):
actually do today?
Is there anything I can do todayor this week to take a step
forward?
It might be something as simpleas, you know what, I'm gonna get
to the gym today, or I'm gonnaprep my meals, or I'm gonna
spend three hours in job searchon that particular day, and then
that's it.
I'm gonna take that one action.
And then really keeping it in asmall, measurable steps that you

(09:22):
could actually measure and say,yeah, well, I did that.
And if I have a lot of thosesmaller wins, it's going to add
up to a larger win.
And then the next is making surethat you're continuing to take
those small steps to reigniteyour momentum.
If you're in this like, meh,this like middle space where
you're like, ugh, first, I wantyou to name it.
We're not going to gaslightourselves and actually say,

(09:43):
okay, this is the way I feeltoday.
I'm stuck.
Setting those micro goals, as Ijust mentioned, 1% better.
What is one thing that I can do1% better today or this week or
this month?
Why you're doing that is you'restarting to real rebuild trust
with yourself.
You're starting to honor yourown word again and that you have
that follow through.

(10:03):
Next, I want you to visualizethe future.
This is the version, the nextchapter.
I want you to think about howyou will feel the day after this
possibility that you're aimingfor becomes a reality when it's
done.
I want you to be in sort ofthat, okay, what does it feel
like?
Will I feel relieved?
I feel calm, maybe I feelinspired, I might feel

(10:26):
incredibly proud.
Those are the things that I wantyou to be feeling because when
you start thinking about that,then you're creating your next
action from different feelingsversus stuck.
You're creating action frompossibility or the calmness or
the relief that, you know what,I knew this was gonna, I was
gonna do this.
I knew that I was gonna be here,right?
That's where you want to bethinking through.
And you probably just heard myalarm, but you know, whatever,

(10:46):
life.
Okay.
Next is you um, you want topractice self-compassion, right?
And this is this idea of I feelthis way today.
Can I allow this?
And just allowing yourself tofeel what you feel without
trying to deny it, push it away,right?
That's that beach ball analogyof pushing it underwater.
The more you push it underwater,it's gonna be harder the further

(11:08):
down it goes.
And from some point, it's gonnapop back up.
It's hard to sequester any ofthose feelings that you're
feeling, right?
It's escapism.
I want you just to wear, again,assuming it feels safe, you're
not in a car, you're not in aconference room, you're not on a
call with a client or your team.
Just still allow yourself likethis is the way I feel right
now.
And can I allow that?

(11:29):
And just giving yourself thebreak.
Why we do that is because whatit's evolutionary biology, our
the amygdala, right?
The pre the the fear part of ourbrain can't be in the negative
sensation of something and alsothink strategically, the
prefrontal cortex that one hasto stop in order for the other
one to start.
So making sure that we'reallowing ourselves to do that
can then give us an opportunityfor our strategic thinking to

(11:51):
come back.
All right, motivation.
This isn't about being in aconstant state.
It's making sure that you'rehaving this relationship with
your future self and going intothat future, imagining how it
feels when it's completed, whenit's done, when you've got the
thing, and being in whateverthat is for you.
For me, it's often reviewrelief.
It might be pride, it might belike, I knew I could do it.

(12:13):
It was hard, but I knew I wouldget there.
And really sort of celebratingand honorating yourself because
then you want to bring that backin today.
And then those are the feelingsthat you're using as fuel.
That is what is going to helpdiminish the distance to your
goal and start to drive yourselfforward.
So before you push yourselfharder, I want you to pause and

(12:36):
act what version of my futurewould feel worth the effort
again?
Because that's where you want tomove forward, not from force,
from this place of possibility.
All right, friends, if this hasresonated, I want you to take a
few minutes today and amount ofone small thing that you can do
for your future.
We're not looking forperfection, we're just looking

(12:56):
for one thing that you can do tostart moving forward that you
are gonna feel proud of.
And if you are doing it, I wantto hear from you.
So email me at hello atjilgerfencoaching.com.
I get back to everyone whoemails me and I just want to
hear what's working for you,what's not working for you.
All right, friends, stay inpossibility and always, always,
always be kind.
And I'll see you next week.