June 25, 2024 • 33 mins
#009 - Discover how to play all out for the Lord with special guest, Sterling Jaquith.
In our conversation, she shares her unique experiences balancing motherhood with her entrepreneurial ambitions, and how converting to Catholicism transformed her life and business approach.
Sterling offers invaluable insights on how women can honor their God-given talents while being present for their families.
We delve into the importance of hearing God's voice in business and our professional endeavors. Sterling provides practical advice on seeking clarity, learning from others, and maintaining a positive attitude.
Learn more about Sterling and her programs at sterlingjaquith.com
Are you ready to build high-impact habits of body, mind, and soul that actually stick? Check out the Catholic Path to Excellence today to find out how you can be more consistent in your habits and excel in every aspect of your life.
Feeling "stuck" in your life? Coaching could be the solution you need to break through whatever is holding you back. Book a FREE Call with me today to find out how I can help you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What are you truly capable of?
Have you ever felt like maybeyou were holding back from
really becoming the best versionof yourself, from becoming the
person God made you to be?
If so, you're in the rightplace.
You're listening to theCatholic Pursuit of Excellence,
(00:22):
the show that helps youaccomplish more, stress less and
become the saint God createdyou to be.
I'm your host life and healthcoach, jessica Castillo, and
this is episode nine.
Today, we're going to beexploring what it means to play
all out for the Lord.
I'm joined today by a veryspecial guest.
(00:44):
I'm here with Sterling Jaquith.
She is a Catholic life andbusiness coach and if you are
familiar in the Catholic onlinespace, you probably already know
a little bit about Sterling andher work, but she's awesome.
So excited to have her on theshow today.
So, sterling, welcome.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Thank you for having me.
I love talking about businesswith other women.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
It's so good.
And what was the inspirationfor this podcast interview is
last week, sterling sent anemail about playing all out for
the Lord, about doing all thatyou're truly capable of, and,
honestly, as I was reading youremail, sterling, I was like yes,
yes, yes.
And then I was like Sterlingwant to be on my show, because
(01:27):
this is amazing, all of this isso good.
So I would love if you can kindof just share for my audience a
little bit about what you doand who you serve, and then
maybe we can talk a little bitmore about what you actually
said in that email.
That was so good.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah, so I always knew that I wanted to be in
business.
I wrote my first business planwhen I was 11.
I started competing withbusiness plans in high school
and through college and wonmoney, and then I started my
first business.
I did web design in high school, which counts but I took the
money that I won in college andstarted my first like grownup
(02:06):
business after I graduated fromcollege and I've been doing
forms of business ever since andI've done a lot of different
kinds of businesses, and so Godplanted those seeds in my heart
really early on, and I grew upwithout a lot of money.
We were pretty poor, and so Iremember reading once that nine
out of 10 businesses fail, andthe thought I had at a young age
(02:29):
and I look back and think thisis so incredible was great I
only have to start 10.
Like, even from that moment, Ijust knew like I was going to do
this.
I was going to try, and even ifI fell flat on my face over and
over again, I was going to pickmyself up again and try again.
And that's really what I'vedone.
And I was not raised Catholic.
I didn't become Catholic untilI was 25, right before I got
(02:51):
married.
And then I got married and Igot pregnant on our honeymoon.
So that was quite surprisingand it was really hard, because
I had gone from working andloving work to staring at a baby
in the living room and thinkingthis is so boring, what am I
going to do?
I can't do this.
But I wanted to be home withher, and so that's when I really
(03:12):
started exploring online thingsand dabbling in things, and
dabble is the word I would use.
I really dabbled for a lot ofyears because I ended up having
six kids in eight years.
So every time I wanted to dobusiness, god was like nope,
here's a baby.
And so I learned a lot aboutonline technology in that time,
but I wasn't even really tryingto get a business off the ground
(03:34):
, I was mostly just having thesekids.
And then the Lord just moved myheart in a very obvious way
when it was time.
I really felt like he justtapped me on the shoulder and
said hey, it's time we're goingto go all in on business, and my
husband and I sold a businessthat we had.
We moved to a place with no jobs, so Jessica can appreciate what
(03:55):
it's like to just work onlineanywhere in the world, and we
were like we have to make it.
We have to make it because wemoved to this place, where there
really are no jobs, and so Istarted a coaching business, and
that was a little over threeyears ago, and I have a couple
coaching businesses now, but oneof them is a business coaching
(04:15):
business where I really helpCatholic moms navigate.
Are they being called tobusiness and, if so, how can we
do that in a way that reallyintegrates into our family life?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I love it so much.
And you know, sterling, I didnot realize before we have so
much in common.
So I also grew up extremelypoor.
I also converted to Catholicism.
I think I was just shy of 25the month before I got married.
So I went through RCA, cameinto the Catholic church, then
got married the next month.
(04:48):
So yeah, and I think it's in asimilar way too, I kind of
struggled with that transitionof going from being a working
professional or having a careerand then I knew I wanted to be
home with my kids.
I knew I wanted to be a presentmom, but I also kind of
struggled in that.
Oh okay, so now I'm this momperson.
(05:09):
Is this the death of all myhopes and dreams, which I
thought a lot of women don't?
Because at the time I didn'tknow entrepreneurship was a
thing, I didn't know that onlinebusiness was even a viable
career field.
So I think that for a lot ofwomen, at that juncture in their
lives they know they want to dosomething, they know that the
(05:29):
Lord is calling them to usetheir gifts and talents.
And I think it's reallychallenging because we have this
natural desire we want to pourourselves into our families and
into our children, into ourbabies.
But at the same time there'sthat tug, and I think that what
you do so well is you help womennavigate that.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, and I want to make the distinction for women,
because we're going to talkabout playing all out for the
Lord today.
But I want to make thedistinction between I need to
make a little bit of money, Iwant to do something to like
kind of play with my brain alittle bit, and God is asking me
to start a business.
Those are very different thingsand that's one of the things
that I consider my job is tojust help them navigate that,
(06:11):
because I don't think any one ofthem is better than the other.
But sometimes women, especiallythese days, just want to make
an extra $500 a month to closethe gap of whatever that is,
because life is gettingexpensive and there are a lot of
ways to make $500 that do notnecessarily mean, you know,
getting a business license andstarting a business.
And then there's, I think, somehobbies that are kind of in the
(06:36):
hobby space where we're makinga little bit of money, but it's
really intellectuallystimulating and that's what
women want.
And those two things are greatand they're fine and you can do
that during nap time, right.
But if God is calling you to doa business, he's calling you to
create something that'sprofitable, right, if he wanted
you to not make money, he wouldcall you to a ministry or a
hobby.
But if he calls you to start abusiness, then it is your job,
(07:01):
honorably, to go figure out howto do that.
And one of the things that Italked about in that email was
how I think Mary would dobusiness.
And it's hard to stretch ourbrain around that because he
obviously did not ask her to dothat.
But if he did, okay, this ishow it would go right.
If the Lord said, mary, I wantyou to create a basket weaving
business, she would have justreceived that mission, so
(07:25):
graciously.
Okay, yes, lord.
And then, if she knew nothingabout it, she would have gone
and asked some people, how doyou make baskets?
And then she would have sourcedthe reeds.
Maybe she would have had acouple women help her.
They would have made designsright, baskets had designs.
Back then they would have madesome designs and then she would
have sold them at themarketplace or wherever they
(07:46):
sell baskets.
And then she would have gottencustomer feedback Do you like
them, do you like the size, doyou like the style?
And then she would have, withcomplete detachment, changed it
based on what the marketplacewanted right, and she just
wouldn't have been obsessed withmoney and she wouldn't have
been obsessed with herself.
She wouldn't have woken upevery day thinking I don't know
(08:08):
what I'm doing, I'm not goodenough to do this, it's all
going to fall apart.
We're doing that all the time,and I think that's one of the
reasons why we're not moresuccessful in business.
So the way I think about it is,I think Mary would have done
business as a straight line,right.
She just would have said way Ithink about it is, I think Mary
would have done business as astraight line, right.
She just would have saidreceived whatever showed up
every day and left the resultsto the Lord.
(08:28):
And I think that's how we, deepdown in our hearts, really want
to be doing business.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, it's so good.
I know, the first time I heardyou say that about doing
business in a straight line,like Mary, I think, at first I
resisted it because I am totallylike a choleric, sanguine
person and so I get reallyexcited about stuff and I'm like
, why can't we be way up here?
And then I was like, oh yeah,because then we end up way down
here, you know.
And so it was just like thishuge, like oscillating sine
(08:59):
curve of you know, emotionalhighs and lows, and I'm like,
but I want all these highs.
And then finally, you know,with some experience, you start
to realize, oh, if I could staycloser to that center line, if I
could be just not so crazy high, not so crazy low, but more
center, how could I be morepeaceful in what I'm doing?
(09:20):
And one of the things that Ithink it's really interesting
you're talking about, because Ithink sometimes we as Catholics
think about Mary and we thinkabout her being almost like
flaccid.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Maybe.
I think she was definitely apeaceful.
But I think sometimes when wethink about Mary, the image that
we have of someone playing allout might not be what we think
of.
When we think Mary, we mightthink someone who's maybe a
little bit more intense.
So I think it's reallyinteresting to talk about what
(09:59):
does it look like to be strivingto be the absolute best you can
be, but to be doing it in apeaceful way?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I totally think she played all out.
I think she took care of herhome.
I think she took care ofJoseph's business, right.
I mean, women have always beenbehind men in their businesses
and, you know, in those culturesthey didn't always get a lot of
credit for it, but they were,you know, often behind the
scenes managing money andmanaging relationships.
And, oh honey, you should meetthis person and, and so I think
(10:29):
that she probably you know,here's what playing all out
means to me, like you put yourhead on the pillow at the end of
the day and you're like Ireally did everything that I
could.
I just I did it.
And and that doesn't mean andhere's such an important
distinction is it doesn't meanstress and it doesn't mean
overextending yourself.
The Jewish culture knew so wellhow to rest.
(10:51):
They knew so well how to rest,and so they played hard and they
still do.
They still are.
I think Jewish people are moresuccessful in business, I think,
than any other culture, andthey know how to wake up and
just really pound the pavement,lay the foundation, put in the
reps, and then they know when togo.
It's done, and I'm going to gobe with my family, and they just
(11:14):
do that so well, and so I don'twant us to be confused that
playing all out means burningthe candle at both ends and
drowning, right, but it is.
It's just a quiet like could Ijust do a little bit more before
I clock out, could I just?
And in my home it's the samething.
It's like you know, when younotice that something could be
swept and you have this momentwhere you're like I could sweep
(11:36):
that or I could not sweep thator you're walking from one room
to the next and you could stepover something, or you could
pick it up and it doesn't makeyou a horrible person not to do
it.
But when you do a few more ofthose little things, those are
the days where you just you feelbetter about yourself.
You get to the end of the dayand you feel good.
(11:59):
And so this really came out ofmy prayer time.
A couple weeks ago, my businessactually you guys was just
feeling really easy, which waslovely.
We all went to get to the placewhere we have systems in place
and a team and launches just goand it was starting to feel
really comfortable.
And I feel like the Lord gave methis vision of standing in
(12:20):
front of Him, giving anaccounting to Him of my week
where I really like, if I had tostand in front of the Lord, I
was at the place where Irealized I was just being
comfortable.
I was kind of hanging out andthat's just not really what he
asked me to do.
He said you know, I want you todo this business.
(12:40):
We'll talk about businessmodels in a second but I want
you to do this business and Iagree, I want you to do it.
Well, I want you to show uphonorably, you know, and if you
think about a silly job, likelike even in Guadalupe,
saint-andiego, and they justasked him.
She said hey, take this to theguy, take the tilma to the guy.
(13:03):
And it was such an importantjob and he ran right, because
when somebody who's royal asksyou to do something, you drop
everything and you do it and youdo it well.
And I was doing okay in mybusiness but I wasn't doing that
.
I wasn't like taking it soseriously, like it was this
(13:27):
really precious mission from theLord and wanting to do the best
that I could, and so I can'treally take credit for it.
But I feel like he told me thisand then I was like, yes, that
makes a ton of sense that that'show we would do business.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think so much of the timepeople kind of shy away from
the what might come off soundingreally harsh to say to someone
hey, the reason why you'refeeling that nagging voice
saying that you could do betteris because you could do better
than this and you're capable ofmore than this.
(14:03):
And I think that there'ssomething in our kind of modern
culture and society that kind ofrecoils against that thought,
because we're like, oh no, butlife is so hard already,
everything's hard.
We should be really soft, weshould be really gentle.
And it's like I kind of feellike, yes, we should be soft and
(14:25):
gentle and loving toward theperson, but it's not necessarily
the most loving thing to letpeople perform at a level that's
so much below what they couldbe at.
And I feel like the Lord is likethat with us, because he sees
us where we are, loves us wherewe're at, accepts us where we're
at and says you know what?
You could be up here, you couldbe just a little bit better,
(14:48):
and so he doesn't leave us wherewe are.
And I love how you talk aboutthat kind of feeling, that
nagging voice that's telling youyou could do better than this.
It's not meant to make you feeldown on yourself.
It's not meant to make you feellike, oh, but I'm already so
overwhelmed, I'm already sostretched thin, I'm so stretched
out.
It's really meant to inspireyou, because the Lord's actually
(15:12):
not asking us to do more thanhe's going to give us the grace
to help us do.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah, and it comes down to discernment, because for
those you know, I would sayseven years, there were seven
years where my heart longed forbusiness.
So I still felt this callingand I was very capable.
I knew that I could have donebusiness in that time, but the
Lord was just staying there withhis hand going, hey, not yet,
not yet.
So you got to discern it.
Well, you cannot discern fromfear or scarcity, or even
(15:44):
boredom or dissatisfaction withmom life, like you have got to
discern from him what he wantsfrom you.
And so that's step one.
And I agree, I think, when hesays now is the time to jump,
just really trusting that thatwill happen.
But I work with tons of womennow and I just see over and over
and over again the amount ofenergy that they expend worrying
(16:07):
about money and being hard onthemselves, being really
negative and having thatimposter syndrome.
I shouldn't be doing this.
This is terrible.
Nobody likes my face, just allthat stuff that our brain says.
And I just want to offer thatwhen we quiet that down, you
actually might just end upworking exactly the same amount
(16:28):
of time that you're working now.
We might not be asking you formore time, but if we just
redirect that emotional energyinto foundational skills for the
business that you're building,it probably will fit very well
into your life and not createmore hardship.
Because, it's true, I have sixkids.
(16:48):
That's hard, you guys.
It's hard, it's loud, it's alot, and we homeschool them.
And so I still though I stillcan do more in my business and
fit it into my life the way thatI want, and I see that God has
created a life for me that'sreally perfect, like a puzzle
piece, like a Rubik's Cube,where it just clicks in and I
(17:11):
can do all the things.
I'm not doing everything, well,right, but I'm doing the things
that I hear in my prayer lifewell, and I think that that is
an important distinction.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, I know I was talking withsomeone once about what does it
mean to pursue excellence as aCatholic?
And this person I was talkingto was like well, I'm really
comfortable being mediocre inparts of my life, and I'm like
you know what.
So am I in parts of my life?
Right?
I mean, I'm not super like.
(17:42):
I know you've talked about thisbefore.
I'm not crazy about foldinglaundry, you know.
So I don't keep up with that.
Very well, I don't keep up.
I don't match socks.
That's something I stoppeddoing many years ago, you know.
So there are areas of my lifethat I'm completely comfortable
with that being good enough, butthen there are other areas of
my life where I feel like goodenough is just not even an
option, like good enough is notwhat I've been called to do or
(18:02):
to be.
But and I think that too, whatpeople start to recognize when
they embrace this as a missionfrom God, like if the Lord has
called you to this business,this is your mission, this is
what the Lord has given you andcreated you for, really, like
you are created to do this jobfor the Lord, then, in doing it,
(18:23):
that's how we become that saintversion of ourselves.
And I know I've had aconversation with my husband
before where we're talking aboutbusiness, and I was telling him
how hard it was and how I hadto manage my time so much better
and how I had to be so muchmore on top of my thoughts, and
I'm having to deal with peoplerejecting me and all of these
(18:43):
things that come with being inbusiness.
And as I was talking to him,though, I heard myself saying to
him this is really hard.
I have to learn all theseskills in order to do it.
All of these skills that I'mlearning are forcing me to be a
better person.
Does God really want me to dothis?
And then I thought, wait, Ijust had to listen to what I was
(19:05):
saying there.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, I love that, and it's just not everyone.
I mean, I love business, but Ijust don't think everyone is
called to business, or called tobusiness in every season.
But even in my motherhood.
You'd think that we're all youknow.
If you have kids, that you'vebeen called to motherhood, that
then you would be required tothink about that with excellence
, even within motherhood.
(19:27):
God puts things on my heart andhe'll just move my heart and be
like you know what.
I need you to focus a littlebit more here and I need you to
focus a little bit more there.
He's not asking me to beexcellent across the board, and
so don't use this excellencething against yourself Again.
He will only call us to thingsthat make sense for what we're
(19:48):
doing right now, and he willgive you everything that you
need.
But he did not call us to livecomfortable lives.
I really, I really agree withthat, and that doesn't mean that
we don't rest right, so we haveto balance that.
I think rest is important, butwe know what it's like to just
have one of those days where youjust really play all out for
(20:08):
the day at home and in yourbusiness and you put your head
on the pillow and you just feellike well done, like that was a
well done day.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah, absolutely, and it doesn't have to be a perfect
day.
Everything doesn't go perfectly.
It's really just that attitudewith which you're approaching
the tasks you're doing.
You're approaching it with anattitude of I'm going to do my
best, I'm going to bring all ofmy natural talents and abilities
to bear here, and I'm alsogoing to do it in union with the
(20:37):
Lord.
I'm not going to do it in thisspirit of fear or uncertainty or
worry.
It's just trust.
I'm going to be in this placeof trust where I don't
necessarily see how this is allgoing to work out, but I also
don't really need to.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah, yeah.
And I think this is where itkind of comes back to whatever
business model that God hascalled you to and he might call
you to help a certain group ofpeople.
So he might call you to helpwomen who are struggling
postpartum.
Okay, like, let's say, that'sthe target market and you may
not know yet.
Am I creating digital productsfor them?
Am I running a group programfor them?
(21:16):
Am I doing one-on-one coaching?
Should I write a book?
Like there are a couple ofthings there, but then I would
pray about that.
I would pray about Lord how doyou want me to help this group
of people?
But then once you hear and Ipromise you guys, you will hear
what he wants you to do, yourbrain is going to act confused.
Your brain's going to be like Ijust don't know how to do that.
I don't know anything aboutthat.
I'm telling you, none of us Ihave yet to encounter a woman
(21:39):
who has told me that she'screating a business that is
confusing.
All of them are verystraightforward, right?
None of us are like the ElonMusk of the internet right now.
We are really creating digitalproducts or services, or a brick
and mortar store with products,or a restaurant or a thrifted
clothing store, right, thesebusinesses are very
straightforward, and so if he'scalling you to a particular type
(22:00):
of business, just go learnabout it.
Just go learn.
I promise you it is notmysterious, it is not a secret
Like.
How you build these businesses,how you get clients and sell
them and then serve them, isknown.
It really is known.
And so when your brain throws upI don't have experience, I
don't know what I'm doing, justquiet those voices and go ask
(22:22):
someone, because it reallyyou're not the first person to
do this and you don't need toreinvent the wheel.
And that's why I think, whenwomen are in the thick of it and
they think, how could I make itharder than this?
Because it's so hard to them inthe moment, like well, you've
made it much harder than itneeds to be.
Let's quiet some of thesenegative thoughts and ideas down
(22:47):
and let's just go talk to somepeople and make some offers.
Business really can be verysimple, and then that's how it
fits well into your life.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah, I love everything that you talk about
too, about just bringing downthat stress response, coming
back to this calm place whereyou actually can quiet down and
hear what the Lord is saying toyou, because I know so many
women are probably listening andthey're like Lord doesn't talk
to me like that or I don't hearthat voice.
So could you tell a little bitabout what you tell women, about
(23:15):
how they can discern that voiceof the Lord?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Yeah, first of all, just Google it right.
Google how to hear the voice ofthe Lord.
That voice of the Lord, yeah,first of all, just Google it
right.
Google how to hear the voice ofthe Lord.
And I think on my website rightnow, the opt-in on the homepage
is about discernment and it'sabout how to hear the voice of
the Lord.
But I'll tell you.
The other thing you can Googleis how God's voice sounds, and
you'll see these two lists ofwords, and one list of words is
how God's voice sounds.
And then in the internet, theylabel the other words the
(23:40):
devil's voice or the enemy'svoice.
I don't care about that.
It might be the devil's voice,it might be your voice, it might
be the culture's voice, itmight be a movie that you saw.
To me it doesn't really matter.
It's just, is it God's voice?
And God's voice is verysoothing and God's voice is an
invitation you said that earlierlike he's just inviting us to
(24:00):
more.
He's not yelling at us, he'snot like you're pathetic and
you're blowing it.
He's like I love you whereyou're at and I'm just inviting
you to come with me to thislevel.
So his voice will always feelgood, even when he's rebuking us
about our sinfulness.
Right, there's a rightness toit.
We're like, yeah, okay, lord, Itotally see that I am doing
(24:21):
that, but it feels good.
And so the way that I reallylearned how to hear God's voice
is I read the Bible a lot and Iread the words in red.
Get a Bible where Jesus's wordsare written in red and you'll
just begin to know how his voicesounds.
And the other thing that I didwas I read the diary of St
Faustina, because God talks toher a ton like so much, just
(24:45):
paragraphs.
He talks to her and you willalso get a sense of how his
voice sounds.
And then I do it throughwriting actually.
So I have a notebook and I'llsay, lord, what are we doing
today?
And then I will just wait and Iindent the paper and I write
what I hear.
And if I'm struggling to hearhim, usually I know it's because
maybe I need to go toconfession, maybe I'm angry.
(25:06):
There's some anger, some lackof forgiveness going on, maybe
I'm scared of the answer.
You know we've all done thatwhere we ask God like, hey,
should I do A or B, becausethat's what we want, and he's
over here like, hey, it's C, butI can't tell you that because
you only gave me these options,right, and particularly like
(25:27):
around a move.
Let's say somebody was like,hey, maybe you should move to
Germany, and you're like I donot want to move to Germany,
like you would be praying,discerning that, but with your
fingers in your ears, and sowhen I find that people aren't
hearing the Lord, that's kind ofwhere I start, like are you
scared of what he's going to say?
Are you angry or have some sortof lack of forgiveness?
Are you putting him in a boxand only giving him a couple
(25:50):
choices, or are you not givinghim the time?
I was just talking to one of myclients who was like I pray all
the time, but so I said, okay,slow it down, tell me what it is
, and but she was doing ropeprayers like the Angelus and the
Rosary, and I'm like, well, yes, you are praying, but you're
not giving him any space to talkto you.
We have to stop talking and wehave to listen, and so it is a
(26:12):
skill, but I promise you it is askill anyone can learn.
The Bible tells us that Godwill talk to us, and it's worth
practicing, because when youhave conviction, that is the
best feeling that there is todrive what you're doing.
When you really honestly feellike God is calling you to do
something, it makes it very easyto say yes and to get up in the
(26:34):
morning and do it.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah, and to just find a way.
You'll find a way, you'llfigure it out, it'll work.
I'm really curious to hear,since you've had this experience
with your prayer and this kindof a revelation of you're too
comfortable in your business, doit this way instead?
What does that look like foryou now?
Like, what does that actuallylook like in your business?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Yeah, well, the first thing that I did was I created
this new seven-week challengethat I'm doing and I'm calling
it the Loaves and FishesChallenge, where we just bring
our meager offerings.
You guys, like, we are sopathetic, if you could see, like
, if you could understand howmuch like ants we are.
We're just, we're so patheticlike ants.
We have tiny, tiny brains, likethe Lord and the angels and
(27:16):
everyone.
They're just watching us like,oh, those cute humans, oh, look
at them, try to figure this out.
And so, just, that's where wewant to come with humility,
where we can't do anythingwithout God.
All your ideas come from God.
Like, I'm not so clever, right?
God just gives me every ideathat I've ever had.
And so we just come with ourmeager like loaves and fishes,
(27:37):
and then we trust him tomultiply them and we show up,
and we show up and we do thework.
And so, for me, what I did wasI looked at our businesses and
for each one I went what kind ofbusiness is this?
Right?
And then, how do you build abusiness like this?
I just wrote down thefoundational things and then I
talked to my team and I said,hey, we're going to tighten up
(27:59):
these things or start doing somethings that we hadn't done.
For example, it had been a verylong time before we had
surveyed both our email list andthe members in our membership,
and that's such a very basicthing to do in business, and we
just hadn't done it because ithas no due date, right?
There's no due date for marketresearch, so it's so easy not to
do it, and so we put that onthe schedule and that's actually
(28:22):
happening this week, and so itkind of took us.
Well, we have a lot of emaillists, so it just took us a
while to put all those surveystogether and tag them in the
system correctly.
But I think that's just such agreat example of a very boring,
like non-sexy thing that youwould do, though, if you were
honorably doing business, thenin this challenge, I basically
have created a seven-weekchallenge where I'm going to
(28:44):
take a whole bunch of womenthrough it to do the same thing.
Where what kind of businessmodel do you have?
How do we grow that kind ofbusiness?
And then how do we integratethat into your work week?
Because it's so easy to getdistracted or to play with
spreadsheets or whatever it isthat we do that sometimes we're
just not even doing thefoundational things, but it has
(29:05):
also just made me a lot calmer.
And listen, like Jessica said,we will never be a straight line
.
We are never going to dobusiness like a straight line.
We're always going to be up anddown.
But my hope is that we canshorten those cycles and
minimize them, so make them lesshigh and low and also shorter,
so that we're spending more timein that deep, deep surrender.
We're like, yeah, I'm justgoing to show up and do my job
(29:27):
today and then I'm going to signoff and leave and not think
about it and go be with myfamily.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
That's so good.
When does this challenge start?
The Loaves and Fishes Challengethe challenge starts next week.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
It starts on this Sunday, so the 20.
Never.
What is this Sunday, the 23rd,the 23rd.
So I'm currently going to dothis in my two programs, my
Merry Mastermind and the Society.
So Society is for women whohaven't hit 100K yet, and then
Mary Mastermind is for the oneswho have hit 100K in their
business, and so we're going todo that there, but I will be
(30:01):
releasing it publicly, for free,and I really want to just
encourage people to do that witheach other, because not
everybody's going to come do myprograms.
Not everyone's a mom.
My programs are for moms, but Iwant to release it publicly so
that anyone can do it with theirfriends.
And that's one of my biggestpieces of advice for women doing
business.
It's unlikely that in yourmom's group someone else is
(30:21):
doing business, and so please,please, please, go find one
business friend so you don'tfeel crazy and you don't feel
alone and you can talk aboutbusiness.
And this is a great way to holdeach other accountable for
doing the work but also reallywalking with the Lord.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah, and that's so important and not a skill.
I think that just comesnaturally.
I think we have to work at thatskill, we have to grow.
So where can people find outhow to join this challenge?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Yeah, so if you just go to sterlingjakewithcom, first
of all you should do thatopt-in there, which is how to
let God be the CEO of yourbusiness and knowing how to pray
about your business, and thenyou'd be on my email list and
then when it comes out, it'll bea couple of weeks, so it won't
be very long.
I'm not gonna wait till we'redone with the challenge, so it
might even be a week and FishesChallenge and it's going to be
(31:09):
called the Loaves and FishesCatholic Business Challenge.
So if you totally forget all ofthis or how to spell my name,
because it's weird you couldprobably just Google Loaves and
Fishes Catholic BusinessChallenge and find it.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yeah, and I will put all the links to Sterling's
website in the show notes forthis episode.
I will be doing the Loaves andFishes Challenge as part of
Sterling's Made for BusinessSociety, so if you happen to be
in there, I'll be doing thechallenge with you.
So this has been so much fun.
Sterling, I really appreciateyou sharing all of this with my
audience.
Like you said, not everyone iscalled to be a mom and in
(31:43):
business, but for those who are,these are the foundational
skills of learning how to listento the Lord, let Him guide you,
and to just show up and do thework.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah, and I really appreciate what you do.
I think we need to hold a highbar for each other, and it just
feels better when we do that.
It feels better when we workhard, like it's very satisfying.
God made us for work.
We will have jobs in heaven.
We will work in heaven.
That's how much God made us forwork, and so it's true that,
even though we think thatfeeling comfortable is better,
(32:15):
when we hang out there for toolong, we always feel sad.
We always feel sad, you guys,and so it doesn't mean we have
to be crazy pants, okay, but weprobably could raise the bar a
little bit and it will feelsatisfying.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
That's 100% true.
It absolutely does feel good tostretch and to grow and to work
, so I love it.
And even if you're listening tothis podcast episode and you're
not in business and you don'tthink the Lord's calling you to
the business, just think aboutwhat does it mean to show up and
do the work that you have beengiven to do with honor and to
the best of your ability,because everybody's working,
(32:51):
we're all working, so might aswell be good at it.
Right, that's the NorthCarolina in me coming out.
People Might as well be good atit.
So thank you so much, sterling.
I just really appreciate yourtime today.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Thank you so much for having me.
What are you truly capable of?
Have you ever felt like maybeyou were holding back from
really becoming the best versionof yourself, from becoming the
person God made you to be?
If so, you're in the rightplace.
You're listening to theCatholic Pursuit of Excellence,
(00:22):
the show that helps youaccomplish more, stress less and
become the saint God createdyou to be.
I'm your host life and healthcoach, jessica Castillo, and
this is episode nine.
Today, we're going to beexploring what it means to play
all out for the Lord.
I'm joined today by a veryspecial guest.
(00:44):
I'm here with Sterling Jaquith.
She is a Catholic life andbusiness coach and if you are
familiar in the Catholic onlinespace, you probably already know
a little bit about Sterling andher work, but she's awesome.
So excited to have her on theshow today.
So, sterling, welcome.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Thank you for having me.
I love talking about businesswith other women.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
It's so good.
And what was the inspirationfor this podcast interview is
last week, sterling sent anemail about playing all out for
the Lord, about doing all thatyou're truly capable of, and,
honestly, as I was reading youremail, sterling, I was like yes,
yes, yes.
And then I was like Sterlingwant to be on my show, because
(01:27):
this is amazing, all of this isso good.
So I would love if you can kindof just share for my audience a
little bit about what you doand who you serve, and then
maybe we can talk a little bitmore about what you actually
said in that email.
That was so good.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah, so I always knew that I wanted to be in
business.
I wrote my first business planwhen I was 11.
I started competing withbusiness plans in high school
and through college and wonmoney, and then I started my
first business.
I did web design in high school, which counts but I took the
money that I won in college andstarted my first like grownup
(02:06):
business after I graduated fromcollege and I've been doing
forms of business ever since andI've done a lot of different
kinds of businesses, and so Godplanted those seeds in my heart
really early on, and I grew upwithout a lot of money.
We were pretty poor, and so Iremember reading once that nine
out of 10 businesses fail, andthe thought I had at a young age
(02:29):
and I look back and think thisis so incredible was great I
only have to start 10.
Like, even from that moment, Ijust knew like I was going to do
this.
I was going to try, and even ifI fell flat on my face over and
over again, I was going to pickmyself up again and try again.
And that's really what I'vedone.
And I was not raised Catholic.
I didn't become Catholic untilI was 25, right before I got
(02:51):
married.
And then I got married and Igot pregnant on our honeymoon.
So that was quite surprisingand it was really hard, because
I had gone from working andloving work to staring at a baby
in the living room and thinkingthis is so boring, what am I
going to do?
I can't do this.
But I wanted to be home withher, and so that's when I really
(03:12):
started exploring online thingsand dabbling in things, and
dabble is the word I would use.
I really dabbled for a lot ofyears because I ended up having
six kids in eight years.
So every time I wanted to dobusiness, god was like nope,
here's a baby.
And so I learned a lot aboutonline technology in that time,
but I wasn't even really tryingto get a business off the ground
(03:34):
, I was mostly just having thesekids.
And then the Lord just moved myheart in a very obvious way
when it was time.
I really felt like he justtapped me on the shoulder and
said hey, it's time we're goingto go all in on business, and my
husband and I sold a businessthat we had.
We moved to a place with no jobs, so Jessica can appreciate what
(03:55):
it's like to just work onlineanywhere in the world, and we
were like we have to make it.
We have to make it because wemoved to this place, where there
really are no jobs, and so Istarted a coaching business, and
that was a little over threeyears ago, and I have a couple
coaching businesses now, but oneof them is a business coaching
(04:15):
business where I really helpCatholic moms navigate.
Are they being called tobusiness and, if so, how can we
do that in a way that reallyintegrates into our family life?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I love it so much.
And you know, sterling, I didnot realize before we have so
much in common.
So I also grew up extremelypoor.
I also converted to Catholicism.
I think I was just shy of 25the month before I got married.
So I went through RCA, cameinto the Catholic church, then
got married the next month.
(04:48):
So yeah, and I think it's in asimilar way too, I kind of
struggled with that transitionof going from being a working
professional or having a careerand then I knew I wanted to be
home with my kids.
I knew I wanted to be a presentmom, but I also kind of
struggled in that.
Oh okay, so now I'm this momperson.
(05:09):
Is this the death of all myhopes and dreams, which I
thought a lot of women don't?
Because at the time I didn'tknow entrepreneurship was a
thing, I didn't know that onlinebusiness was even a viable
career field.
So I think that for a lot ofwomen, at that juncture in their
lives they know they want to dosomething, they know that the
(05:29):
Lord is calling them to usetheir gifts and talents.
And I think it's reallychallenging because we have this
natural desire we want to pourourselves into our families and
into our children, into ourbabies.
But at the same time there'sthat tug, and I think that what
you do so well is you help womennavigate that.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, and I want to make the distinction for women,
because we're going to talkabout playing all out for the
Lord today.
But I want to make thedistinction between I need to
make a little bit of money, Iwant to do something to like
kind of play with my brain alittle bit, and God is asking me
to start a business.
Those are very different thingsand that's one of the things
that I consider my job is tojust help them navigate that,
(06:11):
because I don't think any one ofthem is better than the other.
But sometimes women, especiallythese days, just want to make
an extra $500 a month to closethe gap of whatever that is,
because life is gettingexpensive and there are a lot of
ways to make $500 that do notnecessarily mean, you know,
getting a business license andstarting a business.
And then there's, I think, somehobbies that are kind of in the
(06:36):
hobby space where we're makinga little bit of money, but it's
really intellectuallystimulating and that's what
women want.
And those two things are greatand they're fine and you can do
that during nap time, right.
But if God is calling you to doa business, he's calling you to
create something that'sprofitable, right, if he wanted
you to not make money, he wouldcall you to a ministry or a
hobby.
But if he calls you to start abusiness, then it is your job,
(07:01):
honorably, to go figure out howto do that.
And one of the things that Italked about in that email was
how I think Mary would dobusiness.
And it's hard to stretch ourbrain around that because he
obviously did not ask her to dothat.
But if he did, okay, this ishow it would go right.
If the Lord said, mary, I wantyou to create a basket weaving
business, she would have justreceived that mission, so
(07:25):
graciously.
Okay, yes, lord.
And then, if she knew nothingabout it, she would have gone
and asked some people, how doyou make baskets?
And then she would have sourcedthe reeds.
Maybe she would have had acouple women help her.
They would have made designsright, baskets had designs.
Back then they would have madesome designs and then she would
have sold them at themarketplace or wherever they
(07:46):
sell baskets.
And then she would have gottencustomer feedback Do you like
them, do you like the size, doyou like the style?
And then she would have, withcomplete detachment, changed it
based on what the marketplacewanted right, and she just
wouldn't have been obsessed withmoney and she wouldn't have
been obsessed with herself.
She wouldn't have woken upevery day thinking I don't know
(08:08):
what I'm doing, I'm not goodenough to do this, it's all
going to fall apart.
We're doing that all the time,and I think that's one of the
reasons why we're not moresuccessful in business.
So the way I think about it is,I think Mary would have done
business as a straight line,right.
She just would have said way Ithink about it is, I think Mary
would have done business as astraight line, right.
She just would have saidreceived whatever showed up
every day and left the resultsto the Lord.
(08:28):
And I think that's how we, deepdown in our hearts, really want
to be doing business.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, it's so good.
I know, the first time I heardyou say that about doing
business in a straight line,like Mary, I think, at first I
resisted it because I am totallylike a choleric, sanguine
person and so I get reallyexcited about stuff and I'm like
, why can't we be way up here?
And then I was like, oh yeah,because then we end up way down
here, you know.
And so it was just like thishuge, like oscillating sine
(08:59):
curve of you know, emotionalhighs and lows, and I'm like,
but I want all these highs.
And then finally, you know,with some experience, you start
to realize, oh, if I could staycloser to that center line, if I
could be just not so crazy high, not so crazy low, but more
center, how could I be morepeaceful in what I'm doing?
(09:20):
And one of the things that Ithink it's really interesting
you're talking about, because Ithink sometimes we as Catholics
think about Mary and we thinkabout her being almost like
flaccid.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Maybe.
I think she was definitely apeaceful.
But I think sometimes when wethink about Mary, the image that
we have of someone playing allout might not be what we think
of.
When we think Mary, we mightthink someone who's maybe a
little bit more intense.
So I think it's reallyinteresting to talk about what
(09:59):
does it look like to be strivingto be the absolute best you can
be, but to be doing it in apeaceful way?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I totally think she played all out.
I think she took care of herhome.
I think she took care ofJoseph's business, right.
I mean, women have always beenbehind men in their businesses
and, you know, in those culturesthey didn't always get a lot of
credit for it, but they were,you know, often behind the
scenes managing money andmanaging relationships.
And, oh honey, you should meetthis person and, and so I think
(10:29):
that she probably you know,here's what playing all out
means to me, like you put yourhead on the pillow at the end of
the day and you're like Ireally did everything that I
could.
I just I did it.
And and that doesn't mean andhere's such an important
distinction is it doesn't meanstress and it doesn't mean
overextending yourself.
The Jewish culture knew so wellhow to rest.
(10:51):
They knew so well how to rest,and so they played hard and they
still do.
They still are.
I think Jewish people are moresuccessful in business, I think,
than any other culture, andthey know how to wake up and
just really pound the pavement,lay the foundation, put in the
reps, and then they know when togo.
It's done, and I'm going to gobe with my family, and they just
(11:14):
do that so well, and so I don'twant us to be confused that
playing all out means burningthe candle at both ends and
drowning, right, but it is.
It's just a quiet like could Ijust do a little bit more before
I clock out, could I just?
And in my home it's the samething.
It's like you know, when younotice that something could be
swept and you have this momentwhere you're like I could sweep
(11:36):
that or I could not sweep thator you're walking from one room
to the next and you could stepover something, or you could
pick it up and it doesn't makeyou a horrible person not to do
it.
But when you do a few more ofthose little things, those are
the days where you just you feelbetter about yourself.
You get to the end of the dayand you feel good.
(11:59):
And so this really came out ofmy prayer time.
A couple weeks ago, my businessactually you guys was just
feeling really easy, which waslovely.
We all went to get to the placewhere we have systems in place
and a team and launches just goand it was starting to feel
really comfortable.
And I feel like the Lord gave methis vision of standing in
(12:20):
front of Him, giving anaccounting to Him of my week
where I really like, if I had tostand in front of the Lord, I
was at the place where Irealized I was just being
comfortable.
I was kind of hanging out andthat's just not really what he
asked me to do.
He said you know, I want you todo this business.
(12:40):
We'll talk about businessmodels in a second but I want
you to do this business and Iagree, I want you to do it.
Well, I want you to show uphonorably, you know, and if you
think about a silly job, likelike even in Guadalupe,
saint-andiego, and they justasked him.
She said hey, take this to theguy, take the tilma to the guy.
(13:03):
And it was such an importantjob and he ran right, because
when somebody who's royal asksyou to do something, you drop
everything and you do it and youdo it well.
And I was doing okay in mybusiness but I wasn't doing that
.
I wasn't like taking it soseriously, like it was this
(13:27):
really precious mission from theLord and wanting to do the best
that I could, and so I can'treally take credit for it.
But I feel like he told me thisand then I was like, yes, that
makes a ton of sense that that'show we would do business.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think so much of the timepeople kind of shy away from
the what might come off soundingreally harsh to say to someone
hey, the reason why you'refeeling that nagging voice
saying that you could do betteris because you could do better
than this and you're capable ofmore than this.
(14:03):
And I think that there'ssomething in our kind of modern
culture and society that kind ofrecoils against that thought,
because we're like, oh no, butlife is so hard already,
everything's hard.
We should be really soft, weshould be really gentle.
And it's like I kind of feellike, yes, we should be soft and
(14:25):
gentle and loving toward theperson, but it's not necessarily
the most loving thing to letpeople perform at a level that's
so much below what they couldbe at.
And I feel like the Lord is likethat with us, because he sees
us where we are, loves us wherewe're at, accepts us where we're
at and says you know what?
You could be up here, you couldbe just a little bit better,
(14:48):
and so he doesn't leave us wherewe are.
And I love how you talk aboutthat kind of feeling, that
nagging voice that's telling youyou could do better than this.
It's not meant to make you feeldown on yourself.
It's not meant to make you feellike, oh, but I'm already so
overwhelmed, I'm already sostretched thin, I'm so stretched
out.
It's really meant to inspireyou, because the Lord's actually
(15:12):
not asking us to do more thanhe's going to give us the grace
to help us do.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah, and it comes down to discernment, because for
those you know, I would sayseven years, there were seven
years where my heart longed forbusiness.
So I still felt this callingand I was very capable.
I knew that I could have donebusiness in that time, but the
Lord was just staying there withhis hand going, hey, not yet,
not yet.
So you got to discern it.
Well, you cannot discern fromfear or scarcity, or even
(15:44):
boredom or dissatisfaction withmom life, like you have got to
discern from him what he wantsfrom you.
And so that's step one.
And I agree, I think, when hesays now is the time to jump,
just really trusting that thatwill happen.
But I work with tons of womennow and I just see over and over
and over again the amount ofenergy that they expend worrying
(16:07):
about money and being hard onthemselves, being really
negative and having thatimposter syndrome.
I shouldn't be doing this.
This is terrible.
Nobody likes my face, just allthat stuff that our brain says.
And I just want to offer thatwhen we quiet that down, you
actually might just end upworking exactly the same amount
(16:28):
of time that you're working now.
We might not be asking you formore time, but if we just
redirect that emotional energyinto foundational skills for the
business that you're building,it probably will fit very well
into your life and not createmore hardship.
Because, it's true, I have sixkids.
(16:48):
That's hard, you guys.
It's hard, it's loud, it's alot, and we homeschool them.
And so I still though I stillcan do more in my business and
fit it into my life the way thatI want, and I see that God has
created a life for me that'sreally perfect, like a puzzle
piece, like a Rubik's Cube,where it just clicks in and I
(17:11):
can do all the things.
I'm not doing everything, well,right, but I'm doing the things
that I hear in my prayer lifewell, and I think that that is
an important distinction.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, I know I was talking withsomeone once about what does it
mean to pursue excellence as aCatholic?
And this person I was talkingto was like well, I'm really
comfortable being mediocre inparts of my life, and I'm like
you know what.
So am I in parts of my life?
Right?
I mean, I'm not super like.
(17:42):
I know you've talked about thisbefore.
I'm not crazy about foldinglaundry, you know.
So I don't keep up with that.
Very well, I don't keep up.
I don't match socks.
That's something I stoppeddoing many years ago, you know.
So there are areas of my lifethat I'm completely comfortable
with that being good enough, butthen there are other areas of
my life where I feel like goodenough is just not even an
option, like good enough is notwhat I've been called to do or
(18:02):
to be.
But and I think that too, whatpeople start to recognize when
they embrace this as a missionfrom God, like if the Lord has
called you to this business,this is your mission, this is
what the Lord has given you andcreated you for, really, like
you are created to do this jobfor the Lord, then, in doing it,
(18:23):
that's how we become that saintversion of ourselves.
And I know I've had aconversation with my husband
before where we're talking aboutbusiness, and I was telling him
how hard it was and how I hadto manage my time so much better
and how I had to be so muchmore on top of my thoughts, and
I'm having to deal with peoplerejecting me and all of these
(18:43):
things that come with being inbusiness.
And as I was talking to him,though, I heard myself saying to
him this is really hard.
I have to learn all theseskills in order to do it.
All of these skills that I'mlearning are forcing me to be a
better person.
Does God really want me to dothis?
And then I thought, wait, Ijust had to listen to what I was
(19:05):
saying there.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, I love that, and it's just not everyone.
I mean, I love business, but Ijust don't think everyone is
called to business, or called tobusiness in every season.
But even in my motherhood.
You'd think that we're all youknow.
If you have kids, that you'vebeen called to motherhood, that
then you would be required tothink about that with excellence
, even within motherhood.
(19:27):
God puts things on my heart andhe'll just move my heart and be
like you know what.
I need you to focus a littlebit more here and I need you to
focus a little bit more there.
He's not asking me to beexcellent across the board, and
so don't use this excellencething against yourself Again.
He will only call us to thingsthat make sense for what we're
(19:48):
doing right now, and he willgive you everything that you
need.
But he did not call us to livecomfortable lives.
I really, I really agree withthat, and that doesn't mean that
we don't rest right, so we haveto balance that.
I think rest is important, butwe know what it's like to just
have one of those days where youjust really play all out for
(20:08):
the day at home and in yourbusiness and you put your head
on the pillow and you just feellike well done, like that was a
well done day.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah, absolutely, and it doesn't have to be a perfect
day.
Everything doesn't go perfectly.
It's really just that attitudewith which you're approaching
the tasks you're doing.
You're approaching it with anattitude of I'm going to do my
best, I'm going to bring all ofmy natural talents and abilities
to bear here, and I'm alsogoing to do it in union with the
(20:37):
Lord.
I'm not going to do it in thisspirit of fear or uncertainty or
worry.
It's just trust.
I'm going to be in this placeof trust where I don't
necessarily see how this is allgoing to work out, but I also
don't really need to.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah, yeah.
And I think this is where itkind of comes back to whatever
business model that God hascalled you to and he might call
you to help a certain group ofpeople.
So he might call you to helpwomen who are struggling
postpartum.
Okay, like, let's say, that'sthe target market and you may
not know yet.
Am I creating digital productsfor them?
Am I running a group programfor them?
(21:16):
Am I doing one-on-one coaching?
Should I write a book?
Like there are a couple ofthings there, but then I would
pray about that.
I would pray about Lord how doyou want me to help this group
of people?
But then once you hear and Ipromise you guys, you will hear
what he wants you to do, yourbrain is going to act confused.
Your brain's going to be like Ijust don't know how to do that.
I don't know anything aboutthat.
I'm telling you, none of us Ihave yet to encounter a woman
(21:39):
who has told me that she'screating a business that is
confusing.
All of them are verystraightforward, right?
None of us are like the ElonMusk of the internet right now.
We are really creating digitalproducts or services, or a brick
and mortar store with products,or a restaurant or a thrifted
clothing store, right, thesebusinesses are very
straightforward, and so if he'scalling you to a particular type
(22:00):
of business, just go learnabout it.
Just go learn.
I promise you it is notmysterious, it is not a secret
Like.
How you build these businesses,how you get clients and sell
them and then serve them, isknown.
It really is known.
And so when your brain throws upI don't have experience, I
don't know what I'm doing, justquiet those voices and go ask
(22:22):
someone, because it reallyyou're not the first person to
do this and you don't need toreinvent the wheel.
And that's why I think, whenwomen are in the thick of it and
they think, how could I make itharder than this?
Because it's so hard to them inthe moment, like well, you've
made it much harder than itneeds to be.
Let's quiet some of thesenegative thoughts and ideas down
(22:47):
and let's just go talk to somepeople and make some offers.
Business really can be verysimple, and then that's how it
fits well into your life.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah, I love everything that you talk about
too, about just bringing downthat stress response, coming
back to this calm place whereyou actually can quiet down and
hear what the Lord is saying toyou, because I know so many
women are probably listening andthey're like Lord doesn't talk
to me like that or I don't hearthat voice.
So could you tell a little bitabout what you tell women, about
(23:15):
how they can discern that voiceof the Lord?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Yeah, first of all, just Google it right.
Google how to hear the voice ofthe Lord.
That voice of the Lord, yeah,first of all, just Google it
right.
Google how to hear the voice ofthe Lord.
And I think on my website rightnow, the opt-in on the homepage
is about discernment and it'sabout how to hear the voice of
the Lord.
But I'll tell you.
The other thing you can Googleis how God's voice sounds, and
you'll see these two lists ofwords, and one list of words is
how God's voice sounds.
And then in the internet, theylabel the other words the
(23:40):
devil's voice or the enemy'svoice.
I don't care about that.
It might be the devil's voice,it might be your voice, it might
be the culture's voice, itmight be a movie that you saw.
To me it doesn't really matter.
It's just, is it God's voice?
And God's voice is verysoothing and God's voice is an
invitation you said that earlierlike he's just inviting us to
(24:00):
more.
He's not yelling at us, he'snot like you're pathetic and
you're blowing it.
He's like I love you whereyou're at and I'm just inviting
you to come with me to thislevel.
So his voice will always feelgood, even when he's rebuking us
about our sinfulness.
Right, there's a rightness toit.
We're like, yeah, okay, lord, Itotally see that I am doing
(24:21):
that, but it feels good.
And so the way that I reallylearned how to hear God's voice
is I read the Bible a lot and Iread the words in red.
Get a Bible where Jesus's wordsare written in red and you'll
just begin to know how his voicesounds.
And the other thing that I didwas I read the diary of St
Faustina, because God talks toher a ton like so much, just
(24:45):
paragraphs.
He talks to her and you willalso get a sense of how his
voice sounds.
And then I do it throughwriting actually.
So I have a notebook and I'llsay, lord, what are we doing
today?
And then I will just wait and Iindent the paper and I write
what I hear.
And if I'm struggling to hearhim, usually I know it's because
maybe I need to go toconfession, maybe I'm angry.
(25:06):
There's some anger, some lackof forgiveness going on, maybe
I'm scared of the answer.
You know we've all done thatwhere we ask God like, hey,
should I do A or B, becausethat's what we want, and he's
over here like, hey, it's C, butI can't tell you that because
you only gave me these options,right, and particularly like
(25:27):
around a move.
Let's say somebody was like,hey, maybe you should move to
Germany, and you're like I donot want to move to Germany,
like you would be praying,discerning that, but with your
fingers in your ears, and sowhen I find that people aren't
hearing the Lord, that's kind ofwhere I start, like are you
scared of what he's going to say?
Are you angry or have some sortof lack of forgiveness?
Are you putting him in a boxand only giving him a couple
(25:50):
choices, or are you not givinghim the time?
I was just talking to one of myclients who was like I pray all
the time, but so I said, okay,slow it down, tell me what it is
, and but she was doing ropeprayers like the Angelus and the
Rosary, and I'm like, well, yes, you are praying, but you're
not giving him any space to talkto you.
We have to stop talking and wehave to listen, and so it is a
(26:12):
skill, but I promise you it is askill anyone can learn.
The Bible tells us that Godwill talk to us, and it's worth
practicing, because when youhave conviction, that is the
best feeling that there is todrive what you're doing.
When you really honestly feellike God is calling you to do
something, it makes it very easyto say yes and to get up in the
(26:34):
morning and do it.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah, and to just find a way.
You'll find a way, you'llfigure it out, it'll work.
I'm really curious to hear,since you've had this experience
with your prayer and this kindof a revelation of you're too
comfortable in your business, doit this way instead?
What does that look like foryou now?
Like, what does that actuallylook like in your business?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Yeah, well, the first thing that I did was I created
this new seven-week challengethat I'm doing and I'm calling
it the Loaves and FishesChallenge, where we just bring
our meager offerings.
You guys, like, we are sopathetic, if you could see, like
, if you could understand howmuch like ants we are.
We're just, we're so patheticlike ants.
We have tiny, tiny brains, likethe Lord and the angels and
(27:16):
everyone.
They're just watching us like,oh, those cute humans, oh, look
at them, try to figure this out.
And so, just, that's where wewant to come with humility,
where we can't do anythingwithout God.
All your ideas come from God.
Like, I'm not so clever, right?
God just gives me every ideathat I've ever had.
And so we just come with ourmeager like loaves and fishes,
(27:37):
and then we trust him tomultiply them and we show up,
and we show up and we do thework.
And so, for me, what I did wasI looked at our businesses and
for each one I went what kind ofbusiness is this?
Right?
And then, how do you build abusiness like this?
I just wrote down thefoundational things and then I
talked to my team and I said,hey, we're going to tighten up
(27:59):
these things or start doing somethings that we hadn't done.
For example, it had been a verylong time before we had
surveyed both our email list andthe members in our membership,
and that's such a very basicthing to do in business, and we
just hadn't done it because ithas no due date, right?
There's no due date for marketresearch, so it's so easy not to
do it, and so we put that onthe schedule and that's actually
(28:22):
happening this week, and so itkind of took us.
Well, we have a lot of emaillists, so it just took us a
while to put all those surveystogether and tag them in the
system correctly.
But I think that's just such agreat example of a very boring,
like non-sexy thing that youwould do, though, if you were
honorably doing business, thenin this challenge, I basically
have created a seven-weekchallenge where I'm going to
(28:44):
take a whole bunch of womenthrough it to do the same thing.
Where what kind of businessmodel do you have?
How do we grow that kind ofbusiness?
And then how do we integratethat into your work week?
Because it's so easy to getdistracted or to play with
spreadsheets or whatever it isthat we do that sometimes we're
just not even doing thefoundational things, but it has
(29:05):
also just made me a lot calmer.
And listen, like Jessica said,we will never be a straight line
.
We are never going to dobusiness like a straight line.
We're always going to be up anddown.
But my hope is that we canshorten those cycles and
minimize them, so make them lesshigh and low and also shorter,
so that we're spending more timein that deep, deep surrender.
We're like, yeah, I'm justgoing to show up and do my job
(29:27):
today and then I'm going to signoff and leave and not think
about it and go be with myfamily.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
That's so good.
When does this challenge start?
The Loaves and Fishes Challengethe challenge starts next week.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
It starts on this Sunday, so the 20.
Never.
What is this Sunday, the 23rd,the 23rd.
So I'm currently going to dothis in my two programs, my
Merry Mastermind and the Society.
So Society is for women whohaven't hit 100K yet, and then
Mary Mastermind is for the oneswho have hit 100K in their
business, and so we're going todo that there, but I will be
(30:01):
releasing it publicly, for free,and I really want to just
encourage people to do that witheach other, because not
everybody's going to come do myprograms.
Not everyone's a mom.
My programs are for moms, but Iwant to release it publicly so
that anyone can do it with theirfriends.
And that's one of my biggestpieces of advice for women doing
business.
It's unlikely that in yourmom's group someone else is
(30:21):
doing business, and so please,please, please, go find one
business friend so you don'tfeel crazy and you don't feel
alone and you can talk aboutbusiness.
And this is a great way to holdeach other accountable for
doing the work but also reallywalking with the Lord.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah, and that's so important and not a skill.
I think that just comesnaturally.
I think we have to work at thatskill, we have to grow.
So where can people find outhow to join this challenge?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Yeah, so if you just go to sterlingjakewithcom, first
of all you should do thatopt-in there, which is how to
let God be the CEO of yourbusiness and knowing how to pray
about your business, and thenyou'd be on my email list and
then when it comes out, it'll bea couple of weeks, so it won't
be very long.
I'm not gonna wait till we'redone with the challenge, so it
might even be a week and FishesChallenge and it's going to be
(31:09):
called the Loaves and FishesCatholic Business Challenge.
So if you totally forget all ofthis or how to spell my name,
because it's weird you couldprobably just Google Loaves and
Fishes Catholic BusinessChallenge and find it.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yeah, and I will put all the links to Sterling's
website in the show notes forthis episode.
I will be doing the Loaves andFishes Challenge as part of
Sterling's Made for BusinessSociety, so if you happen to be
in there, I'll be doing thechallenge with you.
So this has been so much fun.
Sterling, I really appreciateyou sharing all of this with my
audience.
Like you said, not everyone iscalled to be a mom and in
(31:43):
business, but for those who are,these are the foundational
skills of learning how to listento the Lord, let Him guide you,
and to just show up and do thework.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah, and I really appreciate what you do.
I think we need to hold a highbar for each other, and it just
feels better when we do that.
It feels better when we workhard, like it's very satisfying.
God made us for work.
We will have jobs in heaven.
We will work in heaven.
That's how much God made us forwork, and so it's true that,
even though we think thatfeeling comfortable is better,
(32:15):
when we hang out there for toolong, we always feel sad.
We always feel sad, you guys,and so it doesn't mean we have
to be crazy pants, okay, but weprobably could raise the bar a
little bit and it will feelsatisfying.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
That's 100% true.
It absolutely does feel good tostretch and to grow and to work
, so I love it.
And even if you're listening tothis podcast episode and you're
not in business and you don'tthink the Lord's calling you to
the business, just think aboutwhat does it mean to show up and
do the work that you have beengiven to do with honor and to
the best of your ability,because everybody's working,
(32:51):
we're all working, so might aswell be good at it.
Right, that's the NorthCarolina in me coming out.
People Might as well be good atit.
So thank you so much, sterling.
I just really appreciate yourtime today.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Thank you so much for having me.
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