March 13, 2025 • 42 mins
The journey toward alcohol freedom can feel isolating, but what if you had centuries of spiritual companions who've walked similar paths? In this profound conversation, addiction specialist and author Belinda Terro Mooney returns to share how saints can become powerful allies in untangling ourselves from alcohol.
The conversation explores a transformative concept Belinda calls "detach to attach" – letting go of substances that falsely promise comfort to create space for authentic connection with God. This spiritual principle aligns perfectly with recovery work. Many fear the void created when alcohol is removed, but be assured that: "When you open your hands and let go, God will fill it with something so much better."
Ready to discover how saints can supercharge your journey toward alcohol freedom? Belinda's book "Pray With Us: A Saint for Every Day" provides daily connections to these powerful intercessors. Visit belindaterromooney.com to learn more about incorporating saintly wisdom into your recovery path.
Join me in the FIRE50 Challenge, a FREE 50-day spiritual journey focused on deepening your connection with the Holy Spirit. You'll explore daily practices, discover our unique charisms, and grow in community with others seeking God's presence in their lives.
This is your chance to awaken new possibilities, and experience the transforming power of the Holy Spirit.
I'm here for you. I'm praying for you. You are NOT alone!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives, women who are
looking to drink less or not atall for any reason.
I am your host, christi Walker.
I'm a wife, mom and ajoy-filled Catholic, and I am
(00:22):
the Catholic Sobriety Coach, andI am so glad you're here.
I am thrilled to welcome backBelinda Mooney to the
conversation today.
Belinda is author of Pray WithUs, a Saint for Every Day, and
she is no stranger to thiscommunity.
(00:42):
You may remember her from wayback in episode 21, where she
provided invaluable insights onrecognizing signs of alcohol
addiction, understanding when toseek professional help and
prioritizing self-care in therecovery journey.
With nearly three decades ofexperience in addiction recovery
(01:05):
, belinda inspired us with herdeep knowledge and practical
advice.
This time, belinda is here toexplore a spiritual dimension of
healing and hope.
We'll be discussing how thesaints can intercede for us,
especially when we're navigatingthe challenges of reducing or
eliminating alcohol orsupporting a loved one who is
(01:27):
struggling with addiction.
Her new book invites us into adaily relationship with the
saints.
Belinda Taro Mooney is a mom ofseven grown children, whom she
homeschooled, and she is asecular Carmelite dedicating to
knowing God and making Him known.
She is an author of eight books, a licensed therapist, a
(01:50):
Catholic coach speaker and aprofessor who teaches counseling
and addiction courses anddevelops programs.
I am so happy to have you backto the program, belinda.
Welcome, thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Christy, it's so good to be back with you.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
So your book, which I absolutely love and I use every
day, introduces us to a saint,a new saint every day, and I
love it because it has some ofour beloved saints who we know
and we've heard lots of storiesabout, but it also has a lot of
saints I've never heard ofbefore.
One of the aspects I reallylove about the book is how you
(02:32):
have a prayer at the end of eachday that we can ask for that
saint's intercession.
So the reason why I wanted tohave you on the podcast is
because who else better someonewho is an addiction specialist
and knows so much about saints,could share about what, maybe
(02:53):
what particular saints we cancall upon when we need to be
supernaturally supercharged inour efforts to reduce or
eliminate alcohol charged in ourefforts to reduce or eliminate
alcohol Right.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
So in this book, pray With Us A Saint for Every Day.
I've got probably about foursaints that I would recommend to
you, and the first two youprobably know, because that's
Saint Monica and her son, saintAugustine.
They had, I think, differentchallenges with different things
.
So St Monica had a challengewith alcohol and St Augustine
(03:30):
had a challenge with a sexualaddiction.
From what I can see, I can'tdiagnose them, but it looked a
lot like it, and so they're inthe book in August.
And then there's another saint,venerable Matt Talbot, that lots
of people in recovery wouldrecognize and he would be a good
saint to go to.
And then there's a saint whodidn't really suffer from an
(03:54):
addiction.
He might just be a good saintbecause of his purity for us to
go to and ask for help.
His name is Saint Casimir.
He was a prince of Poland, oh.
And then there's a fifth saintsorry, saint Camillus Deleus,
who actually had a gamblingproblem.
So the other four besides SaintCasimir had something going on
(04:17):
that they were struggling with,and they would be very much
concerned with us getting overwhatever it is.
We're trying to get over orovercome whatever.
And so because they struggledin their lifetime, I think it's
really helpful if we ask them tohelp us in our struggles, to
(04:37):
just keep praying for us.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yes, absolutely I agree with that.
Yes, absolutely I agree withthat.
And it's such a beautifulblessing that we have as
Catholics that we have all ofthese saints that we know and
(05:01):
again, some of them that wedon't know a lot, but we can
certainly learn about them andlearn from them.
So maybe can you explain alittle bit more about how each
of those saints either struggledor could help us in working
toward a life of greaterdiscipline and virtue.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
So all of the saints really had so many virtues that
when I was writing it was hardto put like just a couple of
them in there, because they justhad so many virtues.
So these saints that we'retalking about today, that we
could ask to be our patrons andour benefactors and with their
prayers and their encouragement,in our relationship with them,
(05:36):
I think they had a lot oftenacity.
I guess it's a big one.
They had a lot of courage toface the fact that they had
something going on and theyneeded to deal with it.
That's the first virtue.
But then when they tried to doit, they kept persevering and
they kept having that tenacitythat would help them to then go
(05:59):
the distant.
You know, keep going, keeptrying and if you fall then get
back up and, like saint francisde sales said, begin again.
So he might be another sixthsaint that we might put in
because of his begin again,because he always understood
that the journey is long andstuff and the temptations are
(06:23):
great and we do fall and we haveto get back up and put our hand
back in Jesus's hand and justkeep going Right.
So there was a thing that Iread once by him.
He said it was a poet and I'mparaphrasing the quote, so
forgive me if it doesn't comeout exactly right.
Oh, my soul, you have falleninto the ditch that we have so
(06:47):
often fallen into before.
Let us take courage and beginagain.
And oh my gosh, I would readthat over and over.
I even had it marked in my bookat one point.
It's in a really wonderful bookcalled Divine Intimacy, by a
Carmelite, father Gabriel of StMary Mandela, and he used to
(07:10):
lead Carmelite retreats.
He was just a very holy personand he compiled this Divine
Intimacy as a way to followthrough the year with the
Carmelite and other huge saints,like St Francis de Sales.
And so I would just kind ofwalk that spot and go back to it
, because whenever you feeldiscouraged, or and whenever I
(07:31):
felt discouraged, that's a goodthing for us to go back to that.
We don't have to have it allfigured out right now.
If we're trying and God ismeeting us in our trying, then
if we fail, god is picking usback up and we're beginning
again.
So I think these saints, withtheir tenacity, with their
(07:53):
courage, with just the way thatthey really worked on accepting
God's will for their life andsubmitting their will to his.
You know, if you think aboutthe first three steps in the
12-step program, I've beenpowerless.
My life has become unmanageable.
I came to believe that a powergreater than myself could
(08:14):
restore me to sanity and made adecision to turn my will, our
will and our lives over to thecare of God as we understood him
.
I'm putting it in the singularbecause that's how I do it, but
it's really written in theplural.
These saints have already beenthere ahead of us.
That's what they had to do.
They had to say God, I don'tunderstand how I could do this.
(08:35):
I don't understand how to staythe course, so you're going to
just have to show me.
You're going to have to show me.
And this day that we'rerecording, we're recording on
the feast day of two martyrs, onMarch, the Sabbath.
These are saints Perpetua andFelicity, and actually several
more, and their companions, andyou know.
(08:58):
So, the martyrs, the saints whohad problems with different
things.
There's also Saint BenedictLabre, who had problems with
different things.
There's also St Benedict Labrewho had some mental health
issues going on.
St Therese's family had mentalhealth issues.
So, inside, people who havebeen there before us and
understand this, they know whatit's like to struggle with it,
(09:21):
that the struggle is very real,that if we don't be careful we
can be overcome bydiscouragement, but that God
doesn't want us to bediscouraged, that he wants us to
begin again and just keeptrying and one day, hopefully,
it will get easier and easier tonot fall as often or as much or
(09:41):
as deep when we do.
That's the main thing Not togive up on ourselves or on God's
intercession and his grace andhis provision in our life, but
just to keep starting again,begin again.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yes, I love that Begin again, that's.
You know, we're always workingtoward progress, not perfection.
There's only one perfect personand that was Jesus.
And you know, it's one of thosethings where I think we're so
hard on ourselves or we thinklike, oh, if I don't do it
perfectly, then I'm not going todo it at all.
But really we have thosesupernatural gifts of the Holy
(10:21):
Spirit, all of those thatstrengthen us, that move us
forward, and really the saintsare just like us.
They are just like you and I,and yet they really took that
time and invested in qualitytime with the Lord and being
able to detach from things thatwere holding them back which I
(10:45):
mean, we're in the season ofLent, so we talk about
detachment but they were able toslowly detach from that and
grow in holiness, and we can alldo that and it's just progress.
But to work toward our own,what that looks like for us in
our time and our world and ourcalling that God has for us, and
(11:10):
we can just look at the saintsas these role models, these
older brothers and sisters inChrist that are showing us the
way, and we have so many of themthat we can call upon and look
to as models of faith, some veryheroic and some very quiet.
(11:30):
You look at St Faustina, right?
If we would have met her in hertime, we probably wouldn't have
given her a second thought.
We would have thought, oh,she's just like this very quiet,
not very assertive, maybe justa little different than
everybody else, but yet she'sthis amazing, great saint.
(11:52):
And to read her diary, it'sjust like wow.
I think we can all have that inour own way, as, however God
wants us to have it, anddependent on our relationship
with him.
So it's hopefully for those ofyou who are listening, it can be
freeing to know you don't haveto be perfect, that these saints
(12:14):
weren't perfect from the get go, but they like you were saying,
Belinda they got back up andthey began again and they just
kept moving toward the Lord, andthat's what we have to do every
single day is just keep movingtoward Him.
So, Belinda, what are somepractical ways that people who
(12:39):
are looking to reduce oreliminate alcohol, how can we
call upon the saints?
What are some practical ways toactually not just be praying
for their intercession, but justasking them to be our friend?
Come alongside of us in ourjourney?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Right, and that color side of us is a really key
thing because, you know, some ofus have patron saints, like we
were named after saints, andthen others of us, you know, my
mom didn't know she had come outof a Protestant tradition and
she was a new Catholic.
She didn't even know to name mea saint.
(13:19):
So I've got two names that arenot of a saint, but I chose
Mother Mary as my confirmationsaint.
So, okay, I've got one patronthere.
Well then, if you know peopleyou know and you do have
namesakes, or you were born onthat person's feast day, you can
just ask them would you be mypatron?
These things that we're talkingabout, the ones that also
(13:43):
struggled with either a mentalproblem or an addiction or
moving toward an addiction youcan ask them to be your patrons
and then what you're doing isjust asking them to continuously
pray with you when you'repraying things.
And the whole reason that Iwrote the book is because then
every single day, like today, onthe day that we're recording,
we can say Saint Perpetual,saint Felicity, pray with me.
(14:06):
And then we can just say Father, I'm really struggling with how
much I'm drinking, or Father,I'm really worried because other
people are worried and I don'tknow what to do, and they're
praying with you while you'repraying.
They're praying with us if wepray together to them and with
them, with us, if we praytogether to them and with them.
(14:27):
Once you get to know the saintslike your brothers and sisters,
as you were saying, our olderbrothers and sisters they're
still alive spiritually inheaven.
We won't have our bodies backwhen we're in heaven until the
end of time, but they're alivespiritually and they want to
pray with us and they want to doeverything they possibly can.
And because they know sointimately what we have
struggled with, then they canreally go to bed.
(14:48):
And this is the way I thinkabout it.
If you ask me to pray for youand to pray with you, I'm
totally going to do it right.
That's what I do.
I do intercessory prayer, butI'm still not totally pure.
That's part of what God isstill doing with me and working
with me.
So, yes, my prayers can beefficacious to a certain extent,
(15:10):
but they are totally pure inheaven.
They've already been throughall their purification on earth
and if they needed purgatory,but they've done it and now they
are before the holy faith ofJesus and they're totally
perfectly pure and perfect inlove.
So that's something I wanted tomention earlier.
When we say we're not called tobe perfect, that means we're not
(15:33):
called to be perfect like as ina perfectionistic way.
We don't have to be perfect ineverything we do, but we all are
called to be perfect in love,because that's what's leading us
to God is love, love and morelove.
So when you were talking aboutdetachment, I also wanted to say
that St John of the Crosstalked a lot about detachment,
(15:54):
Because in order to love andcling to God, we have to unclean
to lots of other things.
To unclean to lots of otherthings and cutting stuff that we
think and that's almost leadingus into an addiction, or
perhaps it's already anaddiction that we just needed
because we couldn't survive ifwe didn't have that.
It's not the truth, but it'ssomething we're believing inside
(16:15):
ourselves.
So when we detach from thatthing and we cling to god, then
he's able to carry us, you know,in a picture of Jesus' arms,
like St Therese said.
She said I wanted to find a wayto reach the perfection of love
that I was called to, and I justcouldn't think of what else I
said.
I just was going to get intoJesus' arms.
(16:37):
Now I'm all totallyparaphrasing what she said.
I was going to get into hisarms and he was going to be like
an elevator lifting me up.
It praising what she said.
Oh, she put her hands in hisarms and he was going to be like
an elevator lifting me up.
It just is so.
It's so precious because, youknow, at her time, at the end of
the 1800s, elevators were juststored there, you know.
So to see an elevator somewhere, or a rich person might have an
(16:57):
elevator in their home orsomething, well, you know, it
brings you up where, everythinggoing up, once definite.
And so she put herself in thearms of jesus.
She put herself in the arms ofjesus and she felt like that was
where she belonged and that waswhere she was going to live and
do whatever he had called herto do.
And so you think on it, likethat, we got each other, we got
(17:20):
all these saints in heaven whoare praying with us.
We put ourselves in the arms ofJesus and we just say, lord, I
just I can't go anymore.
I've done everything I can, youknow, to try to conquer this or
do that or whatever, and I keepfalling.
Help me, lord, and get me theright people in my life who can
(17:41):
help me to do that.
So for some of us that's goingto 12-step support groups.
For other people that's goingto therapy or to treatment, like
it's all good if it helps us toovercome whatever it is we're
attached to so that we can beattached to God.
So detach from others and otherthings so that you can attach
(18:01):
to God.
That's my phrase, that's myfreedom, that's how I talk about
it, because, as a Carmelite,I'm constantly working at
detaching from things.
It's a journey.
I'm a little too attached tothis.
I didn't come back again andyou didn't even notice you were
moving in that direction.
And then here you are back inthe ditch to which you have said
(18:22):
you'd the ditch to ensure thatyou never fall.
To use St Francis de Sales'words, when I was reading about
the saints and trying to writethis little prayer with us, the
thing that I kept coming acrossover and over was just how real
they were and how hard it was tolive their life in their time.
(18:43):
So some of us may look andwe'll say, oh gosh, this is the
worst time ever on the face ofthe earth.
And I don't know, maybe fromGod's perspective and
objectively speaking, it is.
But St Augustine had a goodthing to say about that he goes,
and again I'm paraphrasing youthink's worse now, and that's
only because you didn't livethen.
(19:04):
So for all of us, life is ajourney, and sometimes that
journey goes fairly smoothly andsometimes, oh my gosh, it's
like one thing after another.
There was one Lent that I had.
Oh gosh, I had all these thingsthat I wanted to do for Lent
and then I sprained my ankle soterribly badly and I had to put
(19:26):
it in one of those bunks.
And this is the end of May inLouisiana.
That might be like Augustanywhere else.
It is so hot by the end of Maythat you think you're going to
go crazy already.
And I'm from Louisiana that'sthe accent that you hear and now
(19:47):
I live in texas, so I'm fromhawkeye space.
That was such a suffering thatI was able to offer all that up.
And and I'm thinking going backto our point about these saints
is that whatever happened intheir life that derailed us
totally, you know, put asidewherever whatever they wanted to
(20:10):
do for god.
Sometimes god took that and heused that to do something even
better.
So I really want to encouragepeople that if the things that
you set out to do, the missionsyou have for God, or the things
you want to do for him, or thepeople you want to help or serve
(20:30):
or whatever, if somethingdoesn't work out and you feel
like, oh my gosh, everything isjust going against me and
whatever, yes, you can persevereand continue to pray and begin
again and keep trying.
Just realize that God isworking.
All that stuff you're goingthrough for the good because you
can offer it up in union withJesus' suffering on the cross,
(20:51):
somebody's getting graces fromall that suffering.
You can believe that, whateverthat was, that little detour
that you felt like you neverwere supposed to have the tea,
god has something even better.
So, like for me in my life, Ithought that at this point in my
life, after I graduated all mychildren from homeschool, I
(21:11):
would just be writing if I feltlike writing.
I didn't even have coaching onmy mind.
I was just going to go andspeak and talk to people about
what addiction was, or speak onthe saints or call the piss.
I would do what I know right,and I was just going to go and
speak and talk to people aboutwhat addiction was, or speak on
the saints or codependency.
I would do what I know right,and I was just going to give it
all away.
And then now, as a widow, I haveto earn my own living and I
(21:34):
have a challenge in that.
You know, okay, now I coach, sothat way I earn a living while
I'm writing.
But God had a hand in all ofthat because he said you know
what, you probably are going tohelp a whole lot more people
this way than what you weregoing to do there.
You know, if you hadn't havehad all this happen to you and
you had to earn a living again.
(21:54):
So I'm looking at it like, okay, all these saints who had
problems and challenges in theirlife, they turn those things
over to God.
They let Him guide them to thedetachment, the practices, the
prayers, if you're Catholic, allthe sacrament, and if you
(22:15):
needed help from other people,then the support groups and the
therapist and the treatmentprograms and those things are
all there and God's going tolead you because you've turned
it over to him.
He will bring the people intoyour life that need to speak
into your life, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah, absolutely.
I loved what you were sayingabout like making sure that when
you take what did you say?
Like you detach to attach, soyou detach from things that are
yeah and so that you can attackgod.
Yes, yeah, I love that, becauseoften I'll tell people when I'm
(22:53):
coaching, when we're coachingabout, like, reducing or
eliminating alcohol, it's likewe take something away.
But if we just take somethingaway, then there's like we take
something away, but if we justtake something away, then
there's like this empty space.
We can focus on how much we'vegiven up and then it's
definitely not going to stick.
But then if we put in its placesomething better, something
(23:15):
healthier, something that isgoing to help us be
authentically who God created usto be, then it's just going to
feel so much easier becausewe're putting our yoke on Jesus,
because he says that our burdenis heavy.
So put your yoke on me.
And it just sounds probablymore simple than it is, because
(23:37):
it really is uncomfortable whenyou're first doing it, but once
you do it and you getcomfortable with that, it just
feels so much better and so muchlighter.
And then the other thing thatyou said was that we detach from
things or we give something upand then God gives us something
(23:58):
so much better than we couldhave ever imagined.
Yes, yes, because I see it andI know you see it too.
There's so much fear around,like, if I let go of this thing
that I feel like is holding metogether, or it's my best friend
, or it's helping me cope, orit's helping me numb, or
(24:20):
whatever you're using asubstance for, an alcohol for,
or something else, the fear ofletting go is real and people
are just worried, like, if I letgo, what am I going to have?
But when you open your handsand you let go of it, god will
fill it.
If you let him, like, he wantsto fill that and give you
(24:43):
something so much better.
And we see that with the saints, right, they give, some of them
give up everything.
You know they come from veryaffluent families and their
parents are mad at them.
They don't have all the thingsthat they're accustomed to
having the lifestyle thatthey've had growing up, but
they're a thousand times happierand the lord is able to work
(25:09):
through them, to touch so manysouls and bring so many souls to
him and for their benefit aswell.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Right, frankly, yes yes, you think about saint
francis, oh my gosh.
And but then, uh, just a fewdays ago march the third is her
feast day, saint catherinedrexel like she was an heiress,
and she gave it all up.
It's amazing what she did.
So, yeah, it's very freeing andit's the thing that jesus told
the young man who had all thismoney and he, he said, well,
(25:41):
you're very close, you know, togive that away Because he knew
that he was attached to it.
It wasn't like Jesus just wantsus to give all our money away
and just go following.
St Francis did that because hefelt called to that A very, very
strict and radical, radicalliving of the gospel ideal.
(26:03):
And so it's inspiring becauseit's like, well, if he gave up
everything, I could at leastgive up a little bit for peace.
Right, I could give up a littlebit.
And you're not giving up justfor the sake of giving up.
You're giving up to give toother people.
You're giving up to, like wesaid, attach to God and so like
(26:23):
giving up the life I had beforeI came out of the trawler was so
difficult, like there's no wayI would have published five
books in the last four years hadI not given up that love.
There's no way I would havegone through six coaching
courses just last year if Ihadn't given up that life.
There's no way I would havedone it.
I wouldn't be teachingaddictions to students in
(26:47):
college, like it.
Just none of this would behappening.
I wouldn't be here talking toyou and even know you.
Probably, christy, you know,like God has a plan.
We're like clinging so hard tothis thing and just grasping.
Look, that is my word formyself.
So if anybody else likes totake it on, go ahead.
(27:07):
But for me when I'm graspingsomething, it's almost never the
right thing.
If I have to grasp at it, I'mnot moving toward it in freedom.
I'm grasping.
So then there's no freedom.
I must be enslaved in some way.
Right, I'm trying to open up mymind about grasping.
That's not godly for me.
I just need to stop that andlet God show me what, if
(27:31):
anything, of what I was graspingat do I still need?
And if I don't need any of it,let it go.
Let it go, let go and let Godis a slogan in the 12-step
programs for a reason, becausewhen you let it go and you let
God deal with all that crap,then you get to just lie in his
arms and do the next right thingthat he's asking you to do.
And I wanted to address theimage of the yoke Because I
(27:56):
think that if everybody had beenwith me, with Father Brody was
doing a holiday all those yearsago on this exact topic, your
life would have been changedwith mine all those years ago.
But let me tell you that theimage that he said was that when
you look at oxen and when theyare paired under a yoke, so
(28:19):
they're beasts of burden, right,they're going to pull something
very, very heavy.
So there's this yoke that youput on their necks that keeps
them coupled and keeps themmoving forward.
But the yoke is not equallyweighted.
The stronger ox gets theheavier weight.
Well, if we look at our livesand whatever we're carrying,
(28:40):
jesus is on the other side ofthat yoke with us and he's the
stronger spider on the otherside of that yoke with us and
he's the stroker of spite on thetops.
He's carrying most of theweight we just keep clinging to,
whatever weight we think we'recarrying, which adds and adds to
what you know, what we believe,and it's all, then, about our
mind that our mind is goingcrazy with how much we're
(29:00):
dealing with and all this stuff.
But when we do that from aperspective of in reality, in
real life, if there are placesand still use oxen, and when
they did, even where we are, theheavier load goes to the
stronger ox and that's the lower.
He is carrying our burdens forus and if we just give all the
(29:24):
way to him, he will keepcarrying most of that load.
We just keep going along withhim while he carries the load
and that's what I'm trying toget to myself, trying to
understand his timing, hispacing and his rest in my life,
so that I'm not straining anddriving and pushing myself at
(29:46):
things or to do things or to tryto accomplish things for the
Lord, whatever it is that he'sgiven me to do, I'm more resting
with him and going in his timeframe.
This is a real big deal for meright now.
This is what I'm trying to workon for Lent, because I'm tired
of being that racehorse out inthe gate on a sprint.
(30:08):
I want to be very measured andsteady Instead of the tortoise
and the hare instead of beingthe hare, I want to be the
tortoise, because now that youcan't be a little faster
somewhere in between those two.
I'm all good, even that.
If we can find a differentanimal that's somewhere in
between, then we can be a littlefaster in between those two.
I'm.
I'll tell you that if we canfind a different animal, that's
somewhere in between and we canbe a little faster because I'm
(30:29):
so fast.
He went in very hard to slowdown to the, to the tortoise.
But if we could at least justfind a better pace where we are
able to then sustain what we'retrying to do in our life for god
and when we see that we'regrasping, that we're attached
that that we're attached thatwe're pushing and driving
ourselves, if we could stop allthat, because all that does is
(30:50):
lead us more into the viciouscycle of whatever addiction or
whatever coping mechanism that'sunhealthy, that we're trying to
grasp.
It's just a vicious cycle.
So I'll be so anxious that Ididn't finish this out at the
end of the day that I'll eat anextra dessert tonight.
Well, I'm already worked up myweight, right?
You hear, like all these thingsare things we think, and if we
(31:11):
could just calm down with godand just live our life one day
at a time, with him doing thenext right thing.
My mother had an expressionit's gonna get there.
I said, mama, that ought to bean al-anon is do the next right
thing.
If the man I coupled themtogether, I say do the next
right thing, and it's gonna getthere.
(31:33):
Whatever we're doing for god,whatever we're trying to do for
our family, whatever we'retrying to do, if we just keep
doing the next right thing,eventually it's going to get
there.
And it may not be the timeframe that we wanted and we may
have a lot of obstacles toovercome and a lot of things
that we need to deal with alongthe way, a lot of things we need
to shed and detach from, etcetera.
(31:53):
So it's going to take us alittle longer than we thought,
but eventually we'll get thereEventually.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Yes, yeah, I am so glad that you just said all of
that, because I am sure thatthere are people out there just
nodding their heads.
Yes, like, oh my gosh, I canrelate, I can so relate.
And, yeah, like Lent is usgoing into the desert and we're
detaching and we're shuttingthings.
(32:21):
And it's even more importantthat we slow down as well during
that time, because otherwisewe're just going to burn out or
we're not going to be able to,you know, do what we really want
to do for really good reasons.
Like, we have really goodreasons, we have the right
(32:41):
intentions.
But if we really want to do it,we do have to slow down and we
do have to fill our cups.
And that's what Lent is about.
We're like shedding these things, detaching and filling our cups
with Jesus filling, you know,sitting at his feet like Mary
and just like being, and it'shard.
(33:03):
It's hard when you're like usand you want to keep doing,
doing, doing and all of thesethings.
But you know, busyness can be avice too, and so we have to be
able to slow down, at least fora season, and I think that
that's something that the saintsmodel for us really really well
(33:24):
at least most of them, likethey've accomplished.
They accomplished such greatthings, yet they took time for,
I mean, even Mother Teresa, whowas always doing, she had her
sacred time that she just spentwith the Lord, just being in
front of him, and I think thatthat is such a beautiful example
(33:49):
that we can look to.
So, before we close, I'm justwondering do you have a favorite
saint story or example fromyour book of a saint's
intercession or an impact that asaint made on your life or on
someone else's life that youknow that you would like to
(34:09):
share?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Oh well, right now, because I've been researching
them and really getting to knowthem and asking more of them to
be my patron saints, like I said, I'm going to have probably a
million patrons Because I'm justgoing to keep asking people to
be my patrons.
I just have so many of them.
(34:32):
But I guess the best thing Icould tell you is that in some
summers ago, the first book Iwrote was praying with the
doctors of the church on theirfeast day.
I started with a smaller groupand then the next summer I did
this other book Pray With Us ASaint for Every Day in 2023.
And then it just came out in 24.
(34:52):
And I guess what I would say isthat when I was praying with the
saints, I would ask them topray with me as I sat down at my
computer getting ready to writeabout their life, research them
and write, and I meant to writeon the.
What I thought the Holy Spiritwas saying were the most
important things that the peopleat this time in the world would
(35:15):
need for me to tell.
There's so many more thingsthat could have said about each
person, but I couldn't get it in.
I have like a little paragraphfor the Bible and a little
paragraph for the prayer.
So it was Ernie asking them topray with me and I can tell you
that I could feel their prayers.
And there were some days whenthere were four or more saints
(35:37):
just for that day, because thereare many more than what you see
or what I've recorded in thisbook, and I'm doing a calendar
of saints where I've got.
I'm trying to pull as many as Ican from wherever I can find
them on each day so that youhave you know.
So today, whenever we arepodcasting, we can talk to
(35:59):
saints Perpetua and Felicity andtheir companions, but there are
other saints.
So now when I go to Mass, I sayall you holy saints whose feast
day is today, pray this wetMass with me.
And I can feel them praying.
And when I was doing the book,I could feel them praying.
So when I was going for thosefour, I would say pray with me
(36:20):
to know which of you God issaying he wants in this book.
All of these people deserved tobe in this book.
There was not a one of themthat for any reason, I wouldn't
have wanted to put in the book.
There were some that because ofthe gruesomeness of the way
that they died.
I didn't feel that would beappropriate for children.
(36:42):
I would just look up and say Icannot put you in this book
because kids might not read it.
But you know I love you and Ineed you to pray that when they
read this other saying they'llget what they need.
I would write like five hours aday.
I do a little Pomodoro methodin my writing.
When I sit down to write up, Iset a timer for 25 minutes and
(37:02):
I'll research and write whateverI can, and then I get up.
I set a timer for five minutes,I go put on a load of clothes
or some dishes or I'll go to thebathroom get some more water,
like whatever it is.
I get away and then I come backand I'll do that 10 times for
almost five hours of writing.
That's all through the summerand then into the fall and these
(37:23):
saints were praying with meevery day and I could feel them
pray.
So other people were prayingthe members of the Catholic
Writers Guild and I'm a memberof, but I could also feel the
saints.
So whenever I got to knowingsome of these people and making
them new friends, then right offthe bat they were saying hello
(37:46):
with their prayers and theirfelt press, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yes, oh, absolutely.
And I love that you're, becauseI'm not a big reader and I
don't have a lot of time in themorning, so I really do
appreciate that you were able totake these huge saint stories
and condense them into like themost you know important aspects
maybe not even the mostimportant, but whatever that
(38:10):
saint wanted to tell us, I guess, in that time and then that
prayer.
So the format is so easy tofollow and it's quick and it's
not overwhelming at all to do ityou know daily.
So I really really appreciatethat about it and it's just
beautiful.
So we I just thank you again somuch for being here.
Why don't you go ahead and justshare where people can find you
(38:33):
and find your books and all thethings?
Speaker 2 (38:37):
So my website is my full name, belindataralunicom,
and the website has a couple offree things that I've written
that you can do, and you can geton my email newsletter so that
you can keep in touch with me.
But you also can look for me onInstagram at Belinda Taraloni,
same with Facebook and LinkedIn.
(38:59):
It's always going to be in myfull name.
You can look me up that way,and my email, if you need to
contact me, is Belinda, atBelinda Terramoni.
You can reach me there.
The one thing I would say that Iwould really love is for
children, especially children inconfirmation classes, to have
access to a book like this andFirst Communicants to where they
(39:21):
grow to know the saints.
They're praying with the saints.
I really believe thatchildren's prayer is more pure
than ours as adults becausethey're more innocent, and so if
they're pure or purer than usand they're praying with the
saints, who are totally pure,wow, just imagine the earthquake
.
I mean the mountains we couldmove right.
It would be amazing.
So, yes, so please do look itup.
(39:44):
My books are all on Amazon andthey're also through the
publishers, which I think I'veput some in the notes that I'm
sending to you to put with yourshow notes.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Perfect.
Yeah, I'll have all of thatinformation in my show notes.
So thank you so much again,belinda.
It was such a blessing to haveyou back with us.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Christy, it was so, so good to be here.
God bless all of you who arelistening.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic
Sobriety Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
it with a friend, who mightalso get value from it as well,
and make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic sobrietycoach, and if you would like to
(40:31):
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,thecatholicsobrietycoachcom.
Follow me on Instagram at theCatholic sobriety coachcom.
Follow me on Instagram at theCatholic sobriety coach.
I look forward to speaking toyou next time, and remember I am
(40:52):
here for you.
I am praying for you.
Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives, women who are
looking to drink less or not atall for any reason.
I am your host, christi Walker.
I'm a wife, mom and ajoy-filled Catholic, and I am
(00:22):
the Catholic Sobriety Coach, andI am so glad you're here.
I am thrilled to welcome backBelinda Mooney to the
conversation today.
Belinda is author of Pray WithUs, a Saint for Every Day, and
she is no stranger to thiscommunity.
(00:42):
You may remember her from wayback in episode 21, where she
provided invaluable insights onrecognizing signs of alcohol
addiction, understanding when toseek professional help and
prioritizing self-care in therecovery journey.
With nearly three decades ofexperience in addiction recovery
(01:05):
, belinda inspired us with herdeep knowledge and practical
advice.
This time, belinda is here toexplore a spiritual dimension of
healing and hope.
We'll be discussing how thesaints can intercede for us,
especially when we're navigatingthe challenges of reducing or
eliminating alcohol orsupporting a loved one who is
(01:27):
struggling with addiction.
Her new book invites us into adaily relationship with the
saints.
Belinda Taro Mooney is a mom ofseven grown children, whom she
homeschooled, and she is asecular Carmelite dedicating to
knowing God and making Him known.
She is an author of eight books, a licensed therapist, a
(01:50):
Catholic coach speaker and aprofessor who teaches counseling
and addiction courses anddevelops programs.
I am so happy to have you backto the program, belinda.
Welcome, thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Christy, it's so good to be back with you.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
So your book, which I absolutely love and I use every
day, introduces us to a saint,a new saint every day, and I
love it because it has some ofour beloved saints who we know
and we've heard lots of storiesabout, but it also has a lot of
saints I've never heard ofbefore.
One of the aspects I reallylove about the book is how you
(02:32):
have a prayer at the end of eachday that we can ask for that
saint's intercession.
So the reason why I wanted tohave you on the podcast is
because who else better someonewho is an addiction specialist
and knows so much about saints,could share about what, maybe
(02:53):
what particular saints we cancall upon when we need to be
supernaturally supercharged inour efforts to reduce or
eliminate alcohol charged in ourefforts to reduce or eliminate
alcohol Right.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
So in this book, pray With Us A Saint for Every Day.
I've got probably about foursaints that I would recommend to
you, and the first two youprobably know, because that's
Saint Monica and her son, saintAugustine.
They had, I think, differentchallenges with different things
.
So St Monica had a challengewith alcohol and St Augustine
(03:30):
had a challenge with a sexualaddiction.
From what I can see, I can'tdiagnose them, but it looked a
lot like it, and so they're inthe book in August.
And then there's another saint,venerable Matt Talbot, that lots
of people in recovery wouldrecognize and he would be a good
saint to go to.
And then there's a saint whodidn't really suffer from an
(03:54):
addiction.
He might just be a good saintbecause of his purity for us to
go to and ask for help.
His name is Saint Casimir.
He was a prince of Poland, oh.
And then there's a fifth saintsorry, saint Camillus Deleus,
who actually had a gamblingproblem.
So the other four besides SaintCasimir had something going on
(04:17):
that they were struggling with,and they would be very much
concerned with us getting overwhatever it is.
We're trying to get over orovercome whatever.
And so because they struggledin their lifetime, I think it's
really helpful if we ask them tohelp us in our struggles, to
(04:37):
just keep praying for us.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yes, absolutely I agree with that.
Yes, absolutely I agree withthat.
And it's such a beautifulblessing that we have as
Catholics that we have all ofthese saints that we know and
(05:01):
again, some of them that wedon't know a lot, but we can
certainly learn about them andlearn from them.
So maybe can you explain alittle bit more about how each
of those saints either struggledor could help us in working
toward a life of greaterdiscipline and virtue.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
So all of the saints really had so many virtues that
when I was writing it was hardto put like just a couple of
them in there, because they justhad so many virtues.
So these saints that we'retalking about today, that we
could ask to be our patrons andour benefactors and with their
prayers and their encouragement,in our relationship with them,
(05:36):
I think they had a lot oftenacity.
I guess it's a big one.
They had a lot of courage toface the fact that they had
something going on and theyneeded to deal with it.
That's the first virtue.
But then when they tried to doit, they kept persevering and
they kept having that tenacitythat would help them to then go
(05:59):
the distant.
You know, keep going, keeptrying and if you fall then get
back up and, like saint francisde sales said, begin again.
So he might be another sixthsaint that we might put in
because of his begin again,because he always understood
that the journey is long andstuff and the temptations are
(06:23):
great and we do fall and we haveto get back up and put our hand
back in Jesus's hand and justkeep going Right.
So there was a thing that Iread once by him.
He said it was a poet and I'mparaphrasing the quote, so
forgive me if it doesn't comeout exactly right.
Oh, my soul, you have falleninto the ditch that we have so
(06:47):
often fallen into before.
Let us take courage and beginagain.
And oh my gosh, I would readthat over and over.
I even had it marked in my bookat one point.
It's in a really wonderful bookcalled Divine Intimacy, by a
Carmelite, father Gabriel of StMary Mandela, and he used to
(07:10):
lead Carmelite retreats.
He was just a very holy personand he compiled this Divine
Intimacy as a way to followthrough the year with the
Carmelite and other huge saints,like St Francis de Sales.
And so I would just kind ofwalk that spot and go back to it
, because whenever you feeldiscouraged, or and whenever I
(07:31):
felt discouraged, that's a goodthing for us to go back to that.
We don't have to have it allfigured out right now.
If we're trying and God ismeeting us in our trying, then
if we fail, god is picking usback up and we're beginning
again.
So I think these saints, withtheir tenacity, with their
(07:53):
courage, with just the way thatthey really worked on accepting
God's will for their life andsubmitting their will to his.
You know, if you think aboutthe first three steps in the
12-step program, I've beenpowerless.
My life has become unmanageable.
I came to believe that a powergreater than myself could
(08:14):
restore me to sanity and made adecision to turn my will, our
will and our lives over to thecare of God as we understood him
.
I'm putting it in the singularbecause that's how I do it, but
it's really written in theplural.
These saints have already beenthere ahead of us.
That's what they had to do.
They had to say God, I don'tunderstand how I could do this.
(08:35):
I don't understand how to staythe course, so you're going to
just have to show me.
You're going to have to show me.
And this day that we'rerecording, we're recording on
the feast day of two martyrs, onMarch, the Sabbath.
These are saints Perpetua andFelicity, and actually several
more, and their companions, andyou know.
(08:58):
So, the martyrs, the saints whohad problems with different
things.
There's also Saint BenedictLabre, who had problems with
different things.
There's also St Benedict Labrewho had some mental health
issues going on.
St Therese's family had mentalhealth issues.
So, inside, people who havebeen there before us and
understand this, they know whatit's like to struggle with it,
(09:21):
that the struggle is very real,that if we don't be careful we
can be overcome bydiscouragement, but that God
doesn't want us to bediscouraged, that he wants us to
begin again and just keeptrying and one day, hopefully,
it will get easier and easier tonot fall as often or as much or
(09:41):
as deep when we do.
That's the main thing Not togive up on ourselves or on God's
intercession and his grace andhis provision in our life, but
just to keep starting again,begin again.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yes, I love that Begin again, that's.
You know, we're always workingtoward progress, not perfection.
There's only one perfect personand that was Jesus.
And you know, it's one of thosethings where I think we're so
hard on ourselves or we thinklike, oh, if I don't do it
perfectly, then I'm not going todo it at all.
But really we have thosesupernatural gifts of the Holy
(10:21):
Spirit, all of those thatstrengthen us, that move us
forward, and really the saintsare just like us.
They are just like you and I,and yet they really took that
time and invested in qualitytime with the Lord and being
able to detach from things thatwere holding them back which I
(10:45):
mean, we're in the season ofLent, so we talk about
detachment but they were able toslowly detach from that and
grow in holiness, and we can alldo that and it's just progress.
But to work toward our own,what that looks like for us in
our time and our world and ourcalling that God has for us, and
(11:10):
we can just look at the saintsas these role models, these
older brothers and sisters inChrist that are showing us the
way, and we have so many of themthat we can call upon and look
to as models of faith, some veryheroic and some very quiet.
(11:30):
You look at St Faustina, right?
If we would have met her in hertime, we probably wouldn't have
given her a second thought.
We would have thought, oh,she's just like this very quiet,
not very assertive, maybe justa little different than
everybody else, but yet she'sthis amazing, great saint.
(11:52):
And to read her diary, it'sjust like wow.
I think we can all have that inour own way, as, however God
wants us to have it, anddependent on our relationship
with him.
So it's hopefully for those ofyou who are listening, it can be
freeing to know you don't haveto be perfect, that these saints
(12:14):
weren't perfect from the get go, but they like you were saying,
Belinda they got back up andthey began again and they just
kept moving toward the Lord, andthat's what we have to do every
single day is just keep movingtoward Him.
So, Belinda, what are somepractical ways that people who
(12:39):
are looking to reduce oreliminate alcohol, how can we
call upon the saints?
What are some practical ways toactually not just be praying
for their intercession, but justasking them to be our friend?
Come alongside of us in ourjourney?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Right, and that color side of us is a really key
thing because, you know, some ofus have patron saints, like we
were named after saints, andthen others of us, you know, my
mom didn't know she had come outof a Protestant tradition and
she was a new Catholic.
She didn't even know to name mea saint.
(13:19):
So I've got two names that arenot of a saint, but I chose
Mother Mary as my confirmationsaint.
So, okay, I've got one patronthere.
Well then, if you know peopleyou know and you do have
namesakes, or you were born onthat person's feast day, you can
just ask them would you be mypatron?
These things that we're talkingabout, the ones that also
(13:43):
struggled with either a mentalproblem or an addiction or
moving toward an addiction youcan ask them to be your patrons
and then what you're doing isjust asking them to continuously
pray with you when you'repraying things.
And the whole reason that Iwrote the book is because then
every single day, like today, onthe day that we're recording,
we can say Saint Perpetual,saint Felicity, pray with me.
(14:06):
And then we can just say Father, I'm really struggling with how
much I'm drinking, or Father,I'm really worried because other
people are worried and I don'tknow what to do, and they're
praying with you while you'repraying.
They're praying with us if wepray together to them and with
them, with us, if we praytogether to them and with them.
(14:27):
Once you get to know the saintslike your brothers and sisters,
as you were saying, our olderbrothers and sisters they're
still alive spiritually inheaven.
We won't have our bodies backwhen we're in heaven until the
end of time, but they're alivespiritually and they want to
pray with us and they want to doeverything they possibly can.
And because they know sointimately what we have
struggled with, then they canreally go to bed.
(14:48):
And this is the way I thinkabout it.
If you ask me to pray for youand to pray with you, I'm
totally going to do it right.
That's what I do.
I do intercessory prayer, butI'm still not totally pure.
That's part of what God isstill doing with me and working
with me.
So, yes, my prayers can beefficacious to a certain extent,
(15:10):
but they are totally pure inheaven.
They've already been throughall their purification on earth
and if they needed purgatory,but they've done it and now they
are before the holy faith ofJesus and they're totally
perfectly pure and perfect inlove.
So that's something I wanted tomention earlier.
When we say we're not called tobe perfect, that means we're not
(15:33):
called to be perfect like as ina perfectionistic way.
We don't have to be perfect ineverything we do, but we all are
called to be perfect in love,because that's what's leading us
to God is love, love and morelove.
So when you were talking aboutdetachment, I also wanted to say
that St John of the Crosstalked a lot about detachment,
(15:54):
Because in order to love andcling to God, we have to unclean
to lots of other things.
To unclean to lots of otherthings and cutting stuff that we
think and that's almost leadingus into an addiction, or
perhaps it's already anaddiction that we just needed
because we couldn't survive ifwe didn't have that.
It's not the truth, but it'ssomething we're believing inside
(16:15):
ourselves.
So when we detach from thatthing and we cling to god, then
he's able to carry us, you know,in a picture of Jesus' arms,
like St Therese said.
She said I wanted to find a wayto reach the perfection of love
that I was called to, and I justcouldn't think of what else I
said.
I just was going to get intoJesus' arms.
(16:37):
Now I'm all totallyparaphrasing what she said.
I was going to get into hisarms and he was going to be like
an elevator lifting me up.
It praising what she said.
Oh, she put her hands in hisarms and he was going to be like
an elevator lifting me up.
It just is so.
It's so precious because, youknow, at her time, at the end of
the 1800s, elevators were juststored there, you know.
So to see an elevator somewhere, or a rich person might have an
(16:57):
elevator in their home orsomething, well, you know, it
brings you up where, everythinggoing up, once definite.
And so she put herself in thearms of jesus.
She put herself in the arms ofjesus and she felt like that was
where she belonged and that waswhere she was going to live and
do whatever he had called herto do.
And so you think on it, likethat, we got each other, we got
(17:20):
all these saints in heaven whoare praying with us.
We put ourselves in the arms ofJesus and we just say, lord, I
just I can't go anymore.
I've done everything I can, youknow, to try to conquer this or
do that or whatever, and I keepfalling.
Help me, lord, and get me theright people in my life who can
(17:41):
help me to do that.
So for some of us that's goingto 12-step support groups.
For other people that's goingto therapy or to treatment, like
it's all good if it helps us toovercome whatever it is we're
attached to so that we can beattached to God.
So detach from others and otherthings so that you can attach
(18:01):
to God.
That's my phrase, that's myfreedom, that's how I talk about
it, because, as a Carmelite,I'm constantly working at
detaching from things.
It's a journey.
I'm a little too attached tothis.
I didn't come back again andyou didn't even notice you were
moving in that direction.
And then here you are back inthe ditch to which you have said
(18:22):
you'd the ditch to ensure thatyou never fall.
To use St Francis de Sales'words, when I was reading about
the saints and trying to writethis little prayer with us, the
thing that I kept coming acrossover and over was just how real
they were and how hard it was tolive their life in their time.
(18:43):
So some of us may look andwe'll say, oh gosh, this is the
worst time ever on the face ofthe earth.
And I don't know, maybe fromGod's perspective and
objectively speaking, it is.
But St Augustine had a goodthing to say about that he goes,
and again I'm paraphrasing youthink's worse now, and that's
only because you didn't livethen.
(19:04):
So for all of us, life is ajourney, and sometimes that
journey goes fairly smoothly andsometimes, oh my gosh, it's
like one thing after another.
There was one Lent that I had.
Oh gosh, I had all these thingsthat I wanted to do for Lent
and then I sprained my ankle soterribly badly and I had to put
(19:26):
it in one of those bunks.
And this is the end of May inLouisiana.
That might be like Augustanywhere else.
It is so hot by the end of Maythat you think you're going to
go crazy already.
And I'm from Louisiana that'sthe accent that you hear and now
(19:47):
I live in texas, so I'm fromhawkeye space.
That was such a suffering thatI was able to offer all that up.
And and I'm thinking going backto our point about these saints
is that whatever happened intheir life that derailed us
totally, you know, put asidewherever whatever they wanted to
(20:10):
do for god.
Sometimes god took that and heused that to do something even
better.
So I really want to encouragepeople that if the things that
you set out to do, the missionsyou have for God, or the things
you want to do for him, or thepeople you want to help or serve
(20:30):
or whatever, if somethingdoesn't work out and you feel
like, oh my gosh, everything isjust going against me and
whatever, yes, you can persevereand continue to pray and begin
again and keep trying.
Just realize that God isworking.
All that stuff you're goingthrough for the good because you
can offer it up in union withJesus' suffering on the cross,
(20:51):
somebody's getting graces fromall that suffering.
You can believe that, whateverthat was, that little detour
that you felt like you neverwere supposed to have the tea,
god has something even better.
So, like for me in my life, Ithought that at this point in my
life, after I graduated all mychildren from homeschool, I
(21:11):
would just be writing if I feltlike writing.
I didn't even have coaching onmy mind.
I was just going to go andspeak and talk to people about
what addiction was, or speak onthe saints or call the piss.
I would do what I know right,and I was just going to go and
speak and talk to people aboutwhat addiction was, or speak on
the saints or codependency.
I would do what I know right,and I was just going to give it
all away.
And then now, as a widow, I haveto earn my own living and I
(21:34):
have a challenge in that.
You know, okay, now I coach, sothat way I earn a living while
I'm writing.
But God had a hand in all ofthat because he said you know
what, you probably are going tohelp a whole lot more people
this way than what you weregoing to do there.
You know, if you hadn't havehad all this happen to you and
you had to earn a living again.
(21:54):
So I'm looking at it like, okay, all these saints who had
problems and challenges in theirlife, they turn those things
over to God.
They let Him guide them to thedetachment, the practices, the
prayers, if you're Catholic, allthe sacrament, and if you
(22:15):
needed help from other people,then the support groups and the
therapist and the treatmentprograms and those things are
all there and God's going tolead you because you've turned
it over to him.
He will bring the people intoyour life that need to speak
into your life, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah, absolutely.
I loved what you were sayingabout like making sure that when
you take what did you say?
Like you detach to attach, soyou detach from things that are
yeah and so that you can attackgod.
Yes, yeah, I love that, becauseoften I'll tell people when I'm
(22:53):
coaching, when we're coachingabout, like, reducing or
eliminating alcohol, it's likewe take something away.
But if we just take somethingaway, then there's like we take
something away, but if we justtake something away, then
there's like this empty space.
We can focus on how much we'vegiven up and then it's
definitely not going to stick.
But then if we put in its placesomething better, something
(23:15):
healthier, something that isgoing to help us be
authentically who God created usto be, then it's just going to
feel so much easier becausewe're putting our yoke on Jesus,
because he says that our burdenis heavy.
So put your yoke on me.
And it just sounds probablymore simple than it is, because
(23:37):
it really is uncomfortable whenyou're first doing it, but once
you do it and you getcomfortable with that, it just
feels so much better and so muchlighter.
And then the other thing thatyou said was that we detach from
things or we give something upand then God gives us something
(23:58):
so much better than we couldhave ever imagined.
Yes, yes, because I see it andI know you see it too.
There's so much fear around,like, if I let go of this thing
that I feel like is holding metogether, or it's my best friend
, or it's helping me cope, orit's helping me numb, or
(24:20):
whatever you're using asubstance for, an alcohol for,
or something else, the fear ofletting go is real and people
are just worried, like, if I letgo, what am I going to have?
But when you open your handsand you let go of it, god will
fill it.
If you let him, like, he wantsto fill that and give you
(24:43):
something so much better.
And we see that with the saints, right, they give, some of them
give up everything.
You know they come from veryaffluent families and their
parents are mad at them.
They don't have all the thingsthat they're accustomed to
having the lifestyle thatthey've had growing up, but
they're a thousand times happierand the lord is able to work
(25:09):
through them, to touch so manysouls and bring so many souls to
him and for their benefit aswell.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Right, frankly, yes yes, you think about saint
francis, oh my gosh.
And but then, uh, just a fewdays ago march the third is her
feast day, saint catherinedrexel like she was an heiress,
and she gave it all up.
It's amazing what she did.
So, yeah, it's very freeing andit's the thing that jesus told
the young man who had all thismoney and he, he said, well,
(25:41):
you're very close, you know, togive that away Because he knew
that he was attached to it.
It wasn't like Jesus just wantsus to give all our money away
and just go following.
St Francis did that because hefelt called to that A very, very
strict and radical, radicalliving of the gospel ideal.
(26:03):
And so it's inspiring becauseit's like, well, if he gave up
everything, I could at leastgive up a little bit for peace.
Right, I could give up a littlebit.
And you're not giving up justfor the sake of giving up.
You're giving up to give toother people.
You're giving up to, like wesaid, attach to God and so like
(26:23):
giving up the life I had beforeI came out of the trawler was so
difficult, like there's no wayI would have published five
books in the last four years hadI not given up that love.
There's no way I would havegone through six coaching
courses just last year if Ihadn't given up that life.
There's no way I would havedone it.
I wouldn't be teachingaddictions to students in
(26:47):
college, like it.
Just none of this would behappening.
I wouldn't be here talking toyou and even know you.
Probably, christy, you know,like God has a plan.
We're like clinging so hard tothis thing and just grasping.
Look, that is my word formyself.
So if anybody else likes totake it on, go ahead.
(27:07):
But for me when I'm graspingsomething, it's almost never the
right thing.
If I have to grasp at it, I'mnot moving toward it in freedom.
I'm grasping.
So then there's no freedom.
I must be enslaved in some way.
Right, I'm trying to open up mymind about grasping.
That's not godly for me.
I just need to stop that andlet God show me what, if
(27:31):
anything, of what I was graspingat do I still need?
And if I don't need any of it,let it go.
Let it go, let go and let Godis a slogan in the 12-step
programs for a reason, becausewhen you let it go and you let
God deal with all that crap,then you get to just lie in his
arms and do the next right thingthat he's asking you to do.
And I wanted to address theimage of the yoke Because I
(27:56):
think that if everybody had beenwith me, with Father Brody was
doing a holiday all those yearsago on this exact topic, your
life would have been changedwith mine all those years ago.
But let me tell you that theimage that he said was that when
you look at oxen and when theyare paired under a yoke, so
(28:19):
they're beasts of burden, right,they're going to pull something
very, very heavy.
So there's this yoke that youput on their necks that keeps
them coupled and keeps themmoving forward.
But the yoke is not equallyweighted.
The stronger ox gets theheavier weight.
Well, if we look at our livesand whatever we're carrying,
(28:40):
jesus is on the other side ofthat yoke with us and he's the
stronger spider on the otherside of that yoke with us and
he's the stroker of spite on thetops.
He's carrying most of theweight we just keep clinging to,
whatever weight we think we'recarrying, which adds and adds to
what you know, what we believe,and it's all, then, about our
mind that our mind is goingcrazy with how much we're
(29:00):
dealing with and all this stuff.
But when we do that from aperspective of in reality, in
real life, if there are placesand still use oxen, and when
they did, even where we are, theheavier load goes to the
stronger ox and that's the lower.
He is carrying our burdens forus and if we just give all the
(29:24):
way to him, he will keepcarrying most of that load.
We just keep going along withhim while he carries the load
and that's what I'm trying toget to myself, trying to
understand his timing, hispacing and his rest in my life,
so that I'm not straining anddriving and pushing myself at
(29:46):
things or to do things or to tryto accomplish things for the
Lord, whatever it is that he'sgiven me to do, I'm more resting
with him and going in his timeframe.
This is a real big deal for meright now.
This is what I'm trying to workon for Lent, because I'm tired
of being that racehorse out inthe gate on a sprint.
(30:08):
I want to be very measured andsteady Instead of the tortoise
and the hare instead of beingthe hare, I want to be the
tortoise, because now that youcan't be a little faster
somewhere in between those two.
I'm all good, even that.
If we can find a differentanimal that's somewhere in
between, then we can be a littlefaster in between those two.
I'm.
I'll tell you that if we canfind a different animal, that's
somewhere in between and we canbe a little faster because I'm
(30:29):
so fast.
He went in very hard to slowdown to the, to the tortoise.
But if we could at least justfind a better pace where we are
able to then sustain what we'retrying to do in our life for god
and when we see that we'regrasping, that we're attached
that that we're attached thatwe're pushing and driving
ourselves, if we could stop allthat, because all that does is
(30:50):
lead us more into the viciouscycle of whatever addiction or
whatever coping mechanism that'sunhealthy, that we're trying to
grasp.
It's just a vicious cycle.
So I'll be so anxious that Ididn't finish this out at the
end of the day that I'll eat anextra dessert tonight.
Well, I'm already worked up myweight, right?
You hear, like all these thingsare things we think, and if we
(31:11):
could just calm down with godand just live our life one day
at a time, with him doing thenext right thing.
My mother had an expressionit's gonna get there.
I said, mama, that ought to bean al-anon is do the next right
thing.
If the man I coupled themtogether, I say do the next
right thing, and it's gonna getthere.
(31:33):
Whatever we're doing for god,whatever we're trying to do for
our family, whatever we'retrying to do, if we just keep
doing the next right thing,eventually it's going to get
there.
And it may not be the timeframe that we wanted and we may
have a lot of obstacles toovercome and a lot of things
that we need to deal with alongthe way, a lot of things we need
to shed and detach from, etcetera.
(31:53):
So it's going to take us alittle longer than we thought,
but eventually we'll get thereEventually.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Yes, yeah, I am so glad that you just said all of
that, because I am sure thatthere are people out there just
nodding their heads.
Yes, like, oh my gosh, I canrelate, I can so relate.
And, yeah, like Lent is usgoing into the desert and we're
detaching and we're shuttingthings.
(32:21):
And it's even more importantthat we slow down as well during
that time, because otherwisewe're just going to burn out or
we're not going to be able to,you know, do what we really want
to do for really good reasons.
Like, we have really goodreasons, we have the right
(32:41):
intentions.
But if we really want to do it,we do have to slow down and we
do have to fill our cups.
And that's what Lent is about.
We're like shedding these things, detaching and filling our cups
with Jesus filling, you know,sitting at his feet like Mary
and just like being, and it'shard.
(33:03):
It's hard when you're like usand you want to keep doing,
doing, doing and all of thesethings.
But you know, busyness can be avice too, and so we have to be
able to slow down, at least fora season, and I think that
that's something that the saintsmodel for us really really well
(33:24):
at least most of them, likethey've accomplished.
They accomplished such greatthings, yet they took time for,
I mean, even Mother Teresa, whowas always doing, she had her
sacred time that she just spentwith the Lord, just being in
front of him, and I think thatthat is such a beautiful example
(33:49):
that we can look to.
So, before we close, I'm justwondering do you have a favorite
saint story or example fromyour book of a saint's
intercession or an impact that asaint made on your life or on
someone else's life that youknow that you would like to
(34:09):
share?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Oh well, right now, because I've been researching
them and really getting to knowthem and asking more of them to
be my patron saints, like I said, I'm going to have probably a
million patrons Because I'm justgoing to keep asking people to
be my patrons.
I just have so many of them.
(34:32):
But I guess the best thing Icould tell you is that in some
summers ago, the first book Iwrote was praying with the
doctors of the church on theirfeast day.
I started with a smaller groupand then the next summer I did
this other book Pray With Us ASaint for Every Day in 2023.
And then it just came out in 24.
(34:52):
And I guess what I would say isthat when I was praying with the
saints, I would ask them topray with me as I sat down at my
computer getting ready to writeabout their life, research them
and write, and I meant to writeon the.
What I thought the Holy Spiritwas saying were the most
important things that the peopleat this time in the world would
(35:15):
need for me to tell.
There's so many more thingsthat could have said about each
person, but I couldn't get it in.
I have like a little paragraphfor the Bible and a little
paragraph for the prayer.
So it was Ernie asking them topray with me and I can tell you
that I could feel their prayers.
And there were some days whenthere were four or more saints
(35:37):
just for that day, because thereare many more than what you see
or what I've recorded in thisbook, and I'm doing a calendar
of saints where I've got.
I'm trying to pull as many as Ican from wherever I can find
them on each day so that youhave you know.
So today, whenever we arepodcasting, we can talk to
(35:59):
saints Perpetua and Felicity andtheir companions, but there are
other saints.
So now when I go to Mass, I sayall you holy saints whose feast
day is today, pray this wetMass with me.
And I can feel them praying.
And when I was doing the book,I could feel them praying.
So when I was going for thosefour, I would say pray with me
(36:20):
to know which of you God issaying he wants in this book.
All of these people deserved tobe in this book.
There was not a one of themthat for any reason, I wouldn't
have wanted to put in the book.
There were some that because ofthe gruesomeness of the way
that they died.
I didn't feel that would beappropriate for children.
(36:42):
I would just look up and say Icannot put you in this book
because kids might not read it.
But you know I love you and Ineed you to pray that when they
read this other saying they'llget what they need.
I would write like five hours aday.
I do a little Pomodoro methodin my writing.
When I sit down to write up, Iset a timer for 25 minutes and
(37:02):
I'll research and write whateverI can, and then I get up.
I set a timer for five minutes,I go put on a load of clothes
or some dishes or I'll go to thebathroom get some more water,
like whatever it is.
I get away and then I come backand I'll do that 10 times for
almost five hours of writing.
That's all through the summerand then into the fall and these
(37:23):
saints were praying with meevery day and I could feel them
pray.
So other people were prayingthe members of the Catholic
Writers Guild and I'm a memberof, but I could also feel the
saints.
So whenever I got to knowingsome of these people and making
them new friends, then right offthe bat they were saying hello
(37:46):
with their prayers and theirfelt press, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yes, oh, absolutely.
And I love that you're, becauseI'm not a big reader and I
don't have a lot of time in themorning, so I really do
appreciate that you were able totake these huge saint stories
and condense them into like themost you know important aspects
maybe not even the mostimportant, but whatever that
(38:10):
saint wanted to tell us, I guess, in that time and then that
prayer.
So the format is so easy tofollow and it's quick and it's
not overwhelming at all to do ityou know daily.
So I really really appreciatethat about it and it's just
beautiful.
So we I just thank you again somuch for being here.
Why don't you go ahead and justshare where people can find you
(38:33):
and find your books and all thethings?
Speaker 2 (38:37):
So my website is my full name, belindataralunicom,
and the website has a couple offree things that I've written
that you can do, and you can geton my email newsletter so that
you can keep in touch with me.
But you also can look for me onInstagram at Belinda Taraloni,
same with Facebook and LinkedIn.
(38:59):
It's always going to be in myfull name.
You can look me up that way,and my email, if you need to
contact me, is Belinda, atBelinda Terramoni.
You can reach me there.
The one thing I would say that Iwould really love is for
children, especially children inconfirmation classes, to have
access to a book like this andFirst Communicants to where they
(39:21):
grow to know the saints.
They're praying with the saints.
I really believe thatchildren's prayer is more pure
than ours as adults becausethey're more innocent, and so if
they're pure or purer than usand they're praying with the
saints, who are totally pure,wow, just imagine the earthquake
.
I mean the mountains we couldmove right.
It would be amazing.
So, yes, so please do look itup.
(39:44):
My books are all on Amazon andthey're also through the
publishers, which I think I'veput some in the notes that I'm
sending to you to put with yourshow notes.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Perfect.
Yeah, I'll have all of thatinformation in my show notes.
So thank you so much again,belinda.
It was such a blessing to haveyou back with us.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Christy, it was so, so good to be here.
God bless all of you who arelistening.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic
Sobriety Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
it with a friend, who mightalso get value from it as well,
and make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic sobrietycoach, and if you would like to
(40:31):
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,thecatholicsobrietycoachcom.
Follow me on Instagram at theCatholic sobriety coachcom.
Follow me on Instagram at theCatholic sobriety coach.
I look forward to speaking toyou next time, and remember I am
(40:52):
here for you.
I am praying for you.
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