September 27, 2025 • 18 mins
Ever felt blindsided by an urge or craving—whether for wine, sugar, or just zoning out—and wondered if it means you’ve failed? You’re not alone. Welcome to an inside peek of the Sacred Sobriety Lab ✨ — my private group coaching community for Catholic women who want freedom from alcohol without shame or rigid rules.
In this replay, we dive into a theme every woman encounters: handling urges, cravings, and setbacks. These moments can feel overwhelming, but they don’t have to derail your journey. In fact, they can become powerful opportunities for growth and deeper reliance on God’s grace.
Inside this coaching call, you’ll discover:
✨ Why cravings aren’t failures—they’re teachers
✨ Practical “Plan B, C, and D” strategies when urges hit
✨ How to reframe setbacks as data, not defeat
This is just a glimpse of the kinds of conversations and breakthroughs we share every week inside the Sacred Sobriety Lab. 🕊️
💻 Want to join us inside the Lab? Learn more here: SacredSobrietyLab.com
🌐 More resources: TheCatholicSobrietyCoach.com
I'm here for you. I'm praying for you. You are NOT alone!
Please subscribe to this podcast so you won't miss a thing!
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives.
Women who are looking to drinkless or not at all for any
reason.
I am your host, Christy Walker.
I'm a wife, mom, and ajoy-filled Catholic, and I am
(00:22):
the Catholic sobriety coach.
And I'm so glad you're here.
Have you ever given in to acraving, whether it's wine,
sugar, or just checking out, andthought to yourself, I've
completely blown it.
I'm failing at this.
Well, in today's episode, I'mactually sharing a group
(00:45):
coaching call from inside mySacred Sobriety Lab so that you
can get a sneak peek into whatwe talk about each week.
You'll find powerful coachingquestions and I guide you
through a journal exercise thatyou can do at home to get some
quick wins and real resultstoday.
So check it out.
And if you have any questionsabout the Sacred Sobriety Lab or
(01:09):
maybe you want to join, you canclick the link in my show
description or go toSacredSobriety Lab.com.
All right, enjoy.
Hello, ladies, and welcome tothe group coaching call for
September 26th.
I am gonna go through what I putin my email that we're gonna
(01:31):
talk about, triggers, urges, andsetbacks and that kind of thing.
And let's just get into it.
I'm gonna ask you somequestions, some coaching
questions that I would ask youif you were sitting in front of
me, maybe on a one-on-onecoaching session or definitely
in a group coaching session.
You can just answer them in yourjournal.
(01:51):
And then if you want, you canshare in the comments below this
video or go into the Slack groupand maybe share some of what
came up for you there.
So as always, let's first beginwith prayer, and then we'll just
get into the questions.
(02:14):
In the name of the Father and ofthe Son and of the Holy Spirit,
amen.
Heavenly Father, we thank youfor gathering us here today.
We know that you are presenthere with us, for I guess I'm
here and you guys are watching.
So I just asked the Lord Jesusto walk with us.
(02:37):
You walked with hunger andfatigue and temptation, and yet
you overcame everything withgrace.
We just ask that you help us tosee that when we face urges and
cravings or setbacks, that weare not alone, that you are
right beside us.
We invite your most Holy Spiritinto this time.
(02:58):
Give us wisdom to respond withgentleness toward ourselves,
strength to take the right nextstep, and joy.
So much joy in knowing yourmercy never runs out.
Blessed Mother, we ask for yourpowerful intercession for us.
Wrap us in your mantle and leadus closer to your son.
(03:21):
We ask all of this in Jesus'most holy and precious name.
Amen.
The name of the Father and ofthe Son and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Okay.
Here's the thing.
I've been working on some newhabits too.
And even though I've beenalcohol free for many years, I
still notice how urges andcravings show up in other parts
(03:46):
of my life.
So just because you set onething down doesn't mean that
it's not going to creep upsomewhere else.
We are human and we're all goingto have these types of things.
We're all going to strugglewith, you know, leaning into
comfort, doing what's easy.
And, you know, it just takestime to do the hard work.
(04:08):
And eventually those habitsbecome so much easier.
So it's something I know thatyou're practicing because you're
here.
And I want you to know that I'mon the journey with you.
I'm practicing as well.
So I'm trying to change up someof my habits around exercise,
sleep, food choices, all thosethings that I like to kind of
(04:31):
take a second look at in thefall for my fall reset, which I
really feel like I'm justbeginning.
So today we're going to talkabout urges, cravings, and
setbacks and how they are anormal part of your journey.
What matters most, I just wantyou to know what matters most is
(04:52):
not going to be if they're goingto happen.
Like you might be going alongthinking, hey, this is pretty
easy.
I'm not experiencing any urgesor cravings or setbacks.
I've gotten lots and lots ofalcohol-free days.
And that's amazing.
And I hope that it continuesthat way forever and you don't
have any of those creep up.
(05:13):
But the reality is, it's not anif, but a when.
And yeah, so when that happens,we're gonna talk about how to
respond.
Because having a plan before ithappens is so much easier than
(05:34):
trying to scramble and come upwith a plan while you're in that
reaction mode.
Okay, so our brain learns thesethings through moments and our
spirit grows when we let Godinto them.
So I just want you to alwaysinvite the Lord into these
(05:54):
moments.
Invite him in when you havethose urges, when you have those
cravings, surrender those tohim.
Ask for the Holy Spirit tostrengthen your spiritual gifts
so that you can resist thosetemptations, have that
self-control, one of thosefruits of the spirit, have the
(06:17):
fortitude to be temperate andyou know, just lean in to those
gifts that you've been given andjust ask for an outpouring of
peace, of fortitude into yourlife, and God will come through.
But you do need to take the timeto pause and pray about it.
(06:38):
The first thing is I want you tolook back.
Think of the last time you had areally strong urge or craving.
And now I want you to thinkabout what led up to it, what
you felt in that moment, how youfelt afterward, whether you
(07:02):
chose to go ahead and drink, oryou were able to actually resist
that really strong urge orcraving.
Like what led up to it, what didyou do in the moment, and then
how did you feel afterward,regardless of what that action
was.
And then the last thing is Iwant you to think about what you
(07:26):
can learn from that sequence.
So we learn not just from themissteps, which we can learn a
lot from, but we also learn whatwe did when we are able to make
the choice that we want, thechoice that gives us the result
(07:47):
that we want.
Because what happens is we makean action and it we take an
action based upon our thoughtsand our emotions, and the result
we get is going to be completelydependent on the action or
inaction we take, right?
So think about what thought youhad, what emotion that thought
(08:13):
led to, what action that emotionguided you to take, and what the
result was.
Now, if you had a thought, like,I'm just gonna go ahead and
drink, and the emotion was kindof like defeat, or I don't even
(08:35):
know, kind of a like a reactionemotion, like maybe even a
second thought, like I deserveit, came in with that emotion.
And so you kind of felt entitledto it.
But instead of taking the actionof just giving in and drinking,
you were able to take the actionof changing that thought to I
(09:01):
actually don't really want itbecause I realize I'm not gonna
get the result that I want.
And so then that gives you adifferent emotion of
determination, and that's gonnagive you another result.
So just kind of think throughthose things.
All of this is in the SacredSobriety lab, taking every
(09:21):
thought captive.
So if you want more of abreakdown on this, go there and
look through my pearl techniqueand those types of things.
And I think it'll be reallyhelpful for you.
But you don't have to do that.
You can just answer thesequestions.
What led up to it?
What did you do in the moment?
How did you feel afterward?
(09:43):
And what can you learn from thatsequence?
So that's looking back.
The next thing that you're gonnawant to do is have an alternate
plan for when the urge hits.
Again, planning is so importantand it's so beneficial because
you're not just reacting in themoment.
(10:03):
You can remind your brain we hada plan and this is what it is.
So when that urge hits, thinkwhat plan, B, C, or even D,
could you reach for?
Say plan A was you weren't gonnadrink and you had some backup,
(10:23):
non-alcoholic drinks.
But that didn't really work out.
And maybe your plan B is if Ihave a real craving or urge,
then I'm going to go outside fora little bit, or I'm gonna talk
to my husband about it and lethim know that this is happening.
(10:46):
And maybe we need to leave, oryou know, maybe he could kind of
talk me through it.
Maybe I need to message in ourSlap group or something.
So just kind of having that.
So some of the actions you cantake are physical actions.
You could walk, stretch, do somedeep breathing.
Spiritual actions could bepraying.
(11:07):
So just having that.
Maybe you, maybe your plan A isI'm gonna go, I'm gonna have
these mocktails.
Plan A doesn't feel very good.
You still have an urge, so youdecide to breathe deeply and say
a prayer.
Maybe it's again, like I justsaid, having connection with
your husband, with a friend,slack check-in.
(11:29):
Maybe it's distracting yourself,distracting yourself with a
conversation, with music, withcreative activity, maybe by
serving others.
Just have those alternate plans,those A, B, C, and even D think
what is going to give me themost peace, and what is going to
(11:52):
be with me that is going to helpwith my efforts to drink less or
not at all.
Redefining setbacks.
I hear women say, I just feellike I failed.
And sister, you have not failed.
You have not failed.
Hear me.
If I was with you, I would justgrab it saying hear me out.
(12:14):
You have not failed, not failedeven in the least.
Because you are learning.
As long as you're learning, aslong as you're moving forward,
as long as you're still gainingthat awareness and looking at
it, like we said at thebeginning, taking a look back at
it, you are not not not notfailing.
(12:37):
Okay.
You're learning, you're buildingthose muscles, you're building
those new habits.
So, what you might want to thinkis how do you currently define a
setback?
What do you feel like is asetback?
For some people, it's not asetback if they had decided that
(13:01):
they were going to an event andnot have any alcohol, but they
decided in the moment, or maybeeven they planned for it, that
they would have one glass ofwine with dinner and they were
able to stick with that and havepeace about it and still wake
up, you know, feeling good, notlike beating themselves up about
(13:23):
it the next day.
Then, you know, that isn'treally a setback, I don't think,
because that's evidence andthat's something that's gonna
help you learn along the way.
So again, reframe it, thinkabout how do you currently
(13:44):
define a setback and then takethat and reframe it as data or
data, or see it as anopportunity to learn to grow.
Now you might think about howthat is going to help you return
(14:06):
with more gentleness andboldness instead of shame in the
future.
Like how can you talk toyourself in the future, being
more gentle and more bold inyour determination, in your
decisions, in your planning forthe future?
(14:29):
So again, the key themes here inthis are we're looking back,
what led up to it, take thinkingabout the last time you had a
really strong urge or craving,what led up to it, what action
did you take, how did you feelafterward, and what can you
learn from that sequence ofevents?
(14:50):
What whether it went you stuckwith your plan or you didn't.
The next thing is to createalternate plans.
You can create these alternateplans using your look back notes
as evident as that data that yougathered.
And you make those plans, B, C,your D.
(15:13):
You make your A plan, your Bplan, your C plan, or E D plan,
and making sure to incorporatephysical action, spiritual
action, connection, anddistraction.
And then redefine thosesetbacks.
Don't look at it as, oh gosh, Ijust messed up again.
(15:33):
I'm never gonna get this.
Like all those mean things thatwe say to ourselves.
That is not what it is.
It's data, it's an opportunityto learn.
It's an opportunity to showyourself some kindness and allow
the Lord just to love on you andshine his light on you and just
(15:55):
offer you his mercy.
Again, urges and cravings, not afailure.
They are part of the process,part of the journey and part of
your healing.
So I encourage you this weekend,this coming week, pray with
these questions.
Jot down notes in your journal,bring any reflections to our
(16:16):
Slack group, to the next call,or just email me and we can kind
of chat through them as well ifyou like.
Okay.
I'm gonna go ahead and closewith prayer in the name of the
Father and of the Son and of theHoly Spirit.
Thank you for reminding us,Lord, that our setbacks don't
define us.
Your love does.
(16:37):
Give us strength to face urgeswith faith and to remember that
every craving is an invitationto turn toward you.
Keep us close this week, and mayour lives reflect your freedom
and peace.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
In the name of the Father andthe Son and the Holy Spirit.
(16:57):
Amen.
I hope you enjoyed this sneakpeek into the Sacred Sobriety
Lab.
If you want to learn more, justgo to Sacred Sobriety Lab.com or
click the link in thedescription.
Well, that does it for thisepisode of the Catholic Sobriety
Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
(17:18):
it with a friend who might alsoget value from it as well.
And make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic SobrietyCoach, and if you would like to
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the cooking
that I offer, visit my website,the Catholic Sobriety Coach dot
(17:39):
com.
Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives.
Women who are looking to drinkless or not at all for any
reason.
I am your host, Christy Walker.
I'm a wife, mom, and ajoy-filled Catholic, and I am
(00:22):
the Catholic sobriety coach.
And I'm so glad you're here.
Have you ever given in to acraving, whether it's wine,
sugar, or just checking out, andthought to yourself, I've
completely blown it.
I'm failing at this.
Well, in today's episode, I'mactually sharing a group
(00:45):
coaching call from inside mySacred Sobriety Lab so that you
can get a sneak peek into whatwe talk about each week.
You'll find powerful coachingquestions and I guide you
through a journal exercise thatyou can do at home to get some
quick wins and real resultstoday.
So check it out.
And if you have any questionsabout the Sacred Sobriety Lab or
(01:09):
maybe you want to join, you canclick the link in my show
description or go toSacredSobriety Lab.com.
All right, enjoy.
Hello, ladies, and welcome tothe group coaching call for
September 26th.
I am gonna go through what I putin my email that we're gonna
(01:31):
talk about, triggers, urges, andsetbacks and that kind of thing.
And let's just get into it.
I'm gonna ask you somequestions, some coaching
questions that I would ask youif you were sitting in front of
me, maybe on a one-on-onecoaching session or definitely
in a group coaching session.
You can just answer them in yourjournal.
(01:51):
And then if you want, you canshare in the comments below this
video or go into the Slack groupand maybe share some of what
came up for you there.
So as always, let's first beginwith prayer, and then we'll just
get into the questions.
(02:14):
In the name of the Father and ofthe Son and of the Holy Spirit,
amen.
Heavenly Father, we thank youfor gathering us here today.
We know that you are presenthere with us, for I guess I'm
here and you guys are watching.
So I just asked the Lord Jesusto walk with us.
(02:37):
You walked with hunger andfatigue and temptation, and yet
you overcame everything withgrace.
We just ask that you help us tosee that when we face urges and
cravings or setbacks, that weare not alone, that you are
right beside us.
We invite your most Holy Spiritinto this time.
(02:58):
Give us wisdom to respond withgentleness toward ourselves,
strength to take the right nextstep, and joy.
So much joy in knowing yourmercy never runs out.
Blessed Mother, we ask for yourpowerful intercession for us.
Wrap us in your mantle and leadus closer to your son.
(03:21):
We ask all of this in Jesus'most holy and precious name.
Amen.
The name of the Father and ofthe Son and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Okay.
Here's the thing.
I've been working on some newhabits too.
And even though I've beenalcohol free for many years, I
still notice how urges andcravings show up in other parts
(03:46):
of my life.
So just because you set onething down doesn't mean that
it's not going to creep upsomewhere else.
We are human and we're all goingto have these types of things.
We're all going to strugglewith, you know, leaning into
comfort, doing what's easy.
And, you know, it just takestime to do the hard work.
(04:08):
And eventually those habitsbecome so much easier.
So it's something I know thatyou're practicing because you're
here.
And I want you to know that I'mon the journey with you.
I'm practicing as well.
So I'm trying to change up someof my habits around exercise,
sleep, food choices, all thosethings that I like to kind of
(04:31):
take a second look at in thefall for my fall reset, which I
really feel like I'm justbeginning.
So today we're going to talkabout urges, cravings, and
setbacks and how they are anormal part of your journey.
What matters most, I just wantyou to know what matters most is
(04:52):
not going to be if they're goingto happen.
Like you might be going alongthinking, hey, this is pretty
easy.
I'm not experiencing any urgesor cravings or setbacks.
I've gotten lots and lots ofalcohol-free days.
And that's amazing.
And I hope that it continuesthat way forever and you don't
have any of those creep up.
(05:13):
But the reality is, it's not anif, but a when.
And yeah, so when that happens,we're gonna talk about how to
respond.
Because having a plan before ithappens is so much easier than
(05:34):
trying to scramble and come upwith a plan while you're in that
reaction mode.
Okay, so our brain learns thesethings through moments and our
spirit grows when we let Godinto them.
So I just want you to alwaysinvite the Lord into these
(05:54):
moments.
Invite him in when you havethose urges, when you have those
cravings, surrender those tohim.
Ask for the Holy Spirit tostrengthen your spiritual gifts
so that you can resist thosetemptations, have that
self-control, one of thosefruits of the spirit, have the
(06:17):
fortitude to be temperate andyou know, just lean in to those
gifts that you've been given andjust ask for an outpouring of
peace, of fortitude into yourlife, and God will come through.
But you do need to take the timeto pause and pray about it.
(06:38):
The first thing is I want you tolook back.
Think of the last time you had areally strong urge or craving.
And now I want you to thinkabout what led up to it, what
you felt in that moment, how youfelt afterward, whether you
(07:02):
chose to go ahead and drink, oryou were able to actually resist
that really strong urge orcraving.
Like what led up to it, what didyou do in the moment, and then
how did you feel afterward,regardless of what that action
was.
And then the last thing is Iwant you to think about what you
(07:26):
can learn from that sequence.
So we learn not just from themissteps, which we can learn a
lot from, but we also learn whatwe did when we are able to make
the choice that we want, thechoice that gives us the result
(07:47):
that we want.
Because what happens is we makean action and it we take an
action based upon our thoughtsand our emotions, and the result
we get is going to be completelydependent on the action or
inaction we take, right?
So think about what thought youhad, what emotion that thought
(08:13):
led to, what action that emotionguided you to take, and what the
result was.
Now, if you had a thought, like,I'm just gonna go ahead and
drink, and the emotion was kindof like defeat, or I don't even
(08:35):
know, kind of a like a reactionemotion, like maybe even a
second thought, like I deserveit, came in with that emotion.
And so you kind of felt entitledto it.
But instead of taking the actionof just giving in and drinking,
you were able to take the actionof changing that thought to I
(09:01):
actually don't really want itbecause I realize I'm not gonna
get the result that I want.
And so then that gives you adifferent emotion of
determination, and that's gonnagive you another result.
So just kind of think throughthose things.
All of this is in the SacredSobriety lab, taking every
(09:21):
thought captive.
So if you want more of abreakdown on this, go there and
look through my pearl techniqueand those types of things.
And I think it'll be reallyhelpful for you.
But you don't have to do that.
You can just answer thesequestions.
What led up to it?
What did you do in the moment?
How did you feel afterward?
(09:43):
And what can you learn from thatsequence?
So that's looking back.
The next thing that you're gonnawant to do is have an alternate
plan for when the urge hits.
Again, planning is so importantand it's so beneficial because
you're not just reacting in themoment.
(10:03):
You can remind your brain we hada plan and this is what it is.
So when that urge hits, thinkwhat plan, B, C, or even D,
could you reach for?
Say plan A was you weren't gonnadrink and you had some backup,
(10:23):
non-alcoholic drinks.
But that didn't really work out.
And maybe your plan B is if Ihave a real craving or urge,
then I'm going to go outside fora little bit, or I'm gonna talk
to my husband about it and lethim know that this is happening.
(10:46):
And maybe we need to leave, oryou know, maybe he could kind of
talk me through it.
Maybe I need to message in ourSlap group or something.
So just kind of having that.
So some of the actions you cantake are physical actions.
You could walk, stretch, do somedeep breathing.
Spiritual actions could bepraying.
(11:07):
So just having that.
Maybe you, maybe your plan A isI'm gonna go, I'm gonna have
these mocktails.
Plan A doesn't feel very good.
You still have an urge, so youdecide to breathe deeply and say
a prayer.
Maybe it's again, like I justsaid, having connection with
your husband, with a friend,slack check-in.
(11:29):
Maybe it's distracting yourself,distracting yourself with a
conversation, with music, withcreative activity, maybe by
serving others.
Just have those alternate plans,those A, B, C, and even D think
what is going to give me themost peace, and what is going to
(11:52):
be with me that is going to helpwith my efforts to drink less or
not at all.
Redefining setbacks.
I hear women say, I just feellike I failed.
And sister, you have not failed.
You have not failed.
Hear me.
If I was with you, I would justgrab it saying hear me out.
(12:14):
You have not failed, not failedeven in the least.
Because you are learning.
As long as you're learning, aslong as you're moving forward,
as long as you're still gainingthat awareness and looking at
it, like we said at thebeginning, taking a look back at
it, you are not not not notfailing.
(12:37):
Okay.
You're learning, you're buildingthose muscles, you're building
those new habits.
So, what you might want to thinkis how do you currently define a
setback?
What do you feel like is asetback?
For some people, it's not asetback if they had decided that
(13:01):
they were going to an event andnot have any alcohol, but they
decided in the moment, or maybeeven they planned for it, that
they would have one glass ofwine with dinner and they were
able to stick with that and havepeace about it and still wake
up, you know, feeling good, notlike beating themselves up about
(13:23):
it the next day.
Then, you know, that isn'treally a setback, I don't think,
because that's evidence andthat's something that's gonna
help you learn along the way.
So again, reframe it, thinkabout how do you currently
(13:44):
define a setback and then takethat and reframe it as data or
data, or see it as anopportunity to learn to grow.
Now you might think about howthat is going to help you return
(14:06):
with more gentleness andboldness instead of shame in the
future.
Like how can you talk toyourself in the future, being
more gentle and more bold inyour determination, in your
decisions, in your planning forthe future?
(14:29):
So again, the key themes here inthis are we're looking back,
what led up to it, take thinkingabout the last time you had a
really strong urge or craving,what led up to it, what action
did you take, how did you feelafterward, and what can you
learn from that sequence ofevents?
(14:50):
What whether it went you stuckwith your plan or you didn't.
The next thing is to createalternate plans.
You can create these alternateplans using your look back notes
as evident as that data that yougathered.
And you make those plans, B, C,your D.
(15:13):
You make your A plan, your Bplan, your C plan, or E D plan,
and making sure to incorporatephysical action, spiritual
action, connection, anddistraction.
And then redefine thosesetbacks.
Don't look at it as, oh gosh, Ijust messed up again.
(15:33):
I'm never gonna get this.
Like all those mean things thatwe say to ourselves.
That is not what it is.
It's data, it's an opportunityto learn.
It's an opportunity to showyourself some kindness and allow
the Lord just to love on you andshine his light on you and just
(15:55):
offer you his mercy.
Again, urges and cravings, not afailure.
They are part of the process,part of the journey and part of
your healing.
So I encourage you this weekend,this coming week, pray with
these questions.
Jot down notes in your journal,bring any reflections to our
(16:16):
Slack group, to the next call,or just email me and we can kind
of chat through them as well ifyou like.
Okay.
I'm gonna go ahead and closewith prayer in the name of the
Father and of the Son and of theHoly Spirit.
Thank you for reminding us,Lord, that our setbacks don't
define us.
Your love does.
(16:37):
Give us strength to face urgeswith faith and to remember that
every craving is an invitationto turn toward you.
Keep us close this week, and mayour lives reflect your freedom
and peace.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
In the name of the Father andthe Son and the Holy Spirit.
(16:57):
Amen.
I hope you enjoyed this sneakpeek into the Sacred Sobriety
Lab.
If you want to learn more, justgo to Sacred Sobriety Lab.com or
click the link in thedescription.
Well, that does it for thisepisode of the Catholic Sobriety
Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
(17:18):
it with a friend who might alsoget value from it as well.
And make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic SobrietyCoach, and if you would like to
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the cooking
that I offer, visit my website,the Catholic Sobriety Coach dot
(17:39):
com.
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