October 30, 2025 • 29 mins
What if alcohol isn’t actually the issue—but a symptom of something deeper?
In this episode, we dive into the spiritual and emotional roots behind drinking through the powerful lens of inner healing, identity restoration, and freedom ministry. Drawing from Encounter School of Ministry, Be Healed (Dr. Bob Schuchts), and Unbound (Neal Lozano), we walk through a transformative healing arc:
Identity → Wounds → Lies → Renunciation → Forgiveness → Authority → Blessing → Lasting Freedom
This episode is for the woman who is tired of just trying to stop drinking and is ready to understand why she reached for it in the first place—and how to finally walk in freedom that lasts.
💛 Want to heal, not just cope?
Inside The Sacred Sobriety Lab, we unpack these healing frameworks through a faith-and-neuroscience approach, helping Catholic women reduce or eliminate alcohol from a place of peace, not pressure.
If you’re ready for deeper, personalized healing support, explore my 1:1 Catholic sobriety coaching, where we walk through identity healing, emotional regulation, and spiritual freedom step-by-step.
Not sure where to start? Book a free clarity call—no pressure, just peace and direction.
The Catholic Mom Bundle is available for one week only, and it’s packed with beautiful, faith-filled resources to help you prepare for Advent with more peace and less overwhelm.
It’s an incredible value, and my Reclaiming Peace Gentle Alcohol Reset is included as a bonus.
If this is something your heart needs right now, the link is in my show notes. It’s only here for a few days, so don’t wait!
The Sober-ish Advent & New Year Reset blends faith, neuroscience, and identity work to help Catholic women drink less, interrupt cravings, and be present through Advent, Christmas, and into the New Year. If you’re craving a season of peace and presence, join us by Nov 30th. Early Bird bonuses until Nov 21st → https://courses.drinklessornotatall.com/courses/soberish-advent-new-year-reset
👉🏻 GRAB the Catholic Mom Bundle: 33 faith-filled resources for $25, only from November 17–21 (ends 11:59 PM EST) https://catholic-mom-bundle.myshopify.com/?ref=CHRISTIEWALKER
👉🏻 JOIN THE Sober-ish Advent & New Year Reset
https://courses.drinklessornotatall.com/courses/soberish-advent-new-year-reset
👉🏻 Book a Clarity Call
https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/38683
Visit my Website: https://thecatholicsobrietycoach.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEA (00:40):
SPEAKER_00
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives.
Women who are looking to drinkless or not at all for any
reason.
I am your host, Christy Walker.
I'm a wife, mom, and ajoy-filled Catholic, and I am
(01:02):
the Catholic sobriety coach, andI'm so glad you're here.
Hey friend, take a breath forjust a second.
I don't know where you'relistening right now.
Maybe you're folding laundry,walking the dog, hiding in your
car for five quiet minutesbefore re-entering the chaos of
(01:24):
family life.
Wherever you are, consider thisyour permission to unclench your
jaw and be here for a moment.
You don't have to perform rightnow, you don't have to get it
all figured out right now.
You're here and that's whatmatters.
Today we are talking aboutsomething tender and powerful.
(01:46):
Inner healing and freedomministry.
Inner healing, freedom ministry,and how it all connects to your
relationship with alcohol.
Because alcohol is almost neverthe actual problem.
It's the fruit, not the root.
And when we try to fix alcoholuse without healing what made
(02:06):
alcohol feel necessary, here'swhat happens.
And maybe this sounds familiar.
You stop drinking, but nowyou're inhaling sugar like it's
your love language.
Or you swap Chardonnay forscrolling.
Or your evenings become afrantic cleaning spree because
if the house is spotless, thenmaybe you'll finally feel in
(02:30):
control.
Or you're technically sober, butstill restless, anxious,
irritable, or secretly thinking,something is missing.
Why don't I feel better yet?
That's because white knucklesobriety without inner healing
often leads to transferaddictions, emotional chaos, and
(02:52):
a constant sense of low gradespiritual unease.
So today isn't just aboutquitting drinking.
It's about asking, why didalcohol feel like relief in the
first place?
What wound was it soothing?
What lie was it reinforcing?
And what does true freedom looklike when healing starts from
(03:16):
the inside?
Now we're going to move througha healing arc rooted in the
frameworks of EncounterMinistries, which is identity
first healing, Be Healed by Dr.
Bob Schutz, where we'll discusswounds and lies, and Unbound by
(03:39):
Neil Lozano, where we'll talkabout renunciation, forgiveness,
authority, and blessing.
Why?
Because these frameworks don'tjust help women stop drinking,
they help women become who theyactually are without needing
something to numb or definethem.
(04:01):
In freedom ministry, identity isalways first because you cannot
heal what you believe youdeserve.
When I started at EncounterSchool of Ministries, that was
the very first thing that welearned.
There was an entire quarter juston identity.
(04:23):
Let me gently ask you, whatidentity have you accidentally
lived under?
The I'm the overwhelmed mom whoneeds wine to take the edge off.
I'm the anxious one.
I'm just not strong enough.
I'm always caving.
Even when I quit, I feel emptywithout it.
(04:46):
I'm the socially awkward one whoneeds a drink to loosen up.
Now here's the sneaky thing.
When alcohol becomes part ofyour identity narrative, even if
it's harmful, part of you willdefend it because losing it
feels like losing part ofyourself.
And when you've worn a labellong enough, even a painful one,
(05:09):
it can start to feel like home,like comfort.
Not because it's safe, butbecause it's familiar.
But here's the truth, and thismay be uncomfortable because
lies feel easier to believe thanholy identity, especially when
you're tired.
You are not the woman who cannothandle life without wine.
(05:32):
You are not weak, and you arenot permanently anxious.
You are beloved, daughter of theFather, you are seen, you are
safe, and provided for.
You are not surviving on scrapsof borrowed peace.
You were created for abundantfreedom.
Jesus didn't come to make youbetter at coping.
(05:55):
He came to set you free.
Now let me ask you a couple ofquestions, and you can just let
this sit if you're not quiteready to answer.
Who have I believed that I amwhen it comes to alcohol?
What titles or labels have Iworn that aren't from God?
(06:19):
When I imagine giving up alcoholfully, what identity feels
threatened?
If those questions hit a littledeep, that's good.
That means the Holy Spirit isalready opening a door.
Now that we've groundedourselves in identity, let's
(06:39):
gently but honestly look at thesurface.
Here's the truth.
Most women don't drink becausethey love alcohol.
They drink because somethinghurts.
And pain always looks for aplace to go.
In the book Be Healed, Dr.
Bob Schutz identifies five corewounds that many of us carry,
(07:02):
often rooted in past experiencesor ongoing emotional realities.
There's the wound of rejection,the wound of abandonment, the
wound of fear, the wound ofshame, and the wound of
powerlessness.
Now the wound of rejection says,I am unwanted, which produces an
(07:25):
emotional reaction ofloneliness.
And where alcohol steps in iswine, becomes that false sense
of belonging.
The wound of abandonment.
The thought is I'm alone.
The common emotion that comeswith that is desperation or even
fear.
(07:45):
Alcohol steps in and it becomesyour company, your best friend.
Then there's the wound of fear.
I am not safe.
The emotion that comes with thatis anxiety or hypervigilance.
(08:06):
And for that wound, alcoholfeels like relief.
The next is shame.
Something is wrong with me.
The emotion might beself-disgust.
Then alcohol steps in.
And drinking numbs that sense ofunworthiness.
(08:27):
The wound of powerlessness.
I just can't handle life rightnow.
The emotion that comes with thatis overwhelm or despair.
Where alcohol steps in is thatalcohol gives the illusion of
control.
Now you might think, but I'mfine, I'm just stressed.
(08:47):
Yes.
But stress often isn't thewound, it's the symptom, just
like alcohol is.
For example, maybe you were theoldest daughter who always had
to hold everything together.
So powerlessness is terrifying.
Maybe you were the good girl,praised for keeping the peace.
So you fear rejection andconflict.
(09:11):
Or maybe nobody taught you howto be sad without shame.
When life hits these wounds overand over, our nervous system is
screaming for relief.
And one day, a glass ofsomething becomes the quickest,
most socially acceptable form ofrelief.
It works for about 20 minutes.
(09:33):
And then the shame returns evenstronger.
And the cycle reinforces itself.
Sometimes it looks like thehouse is loud, the day was long,
someone said mom, 327 times, mynervous system is for ride.
And I'd like to temporarily exitmy body now, please.
(09:56):
If that sounds familiar, justknow you're not broken, you're
just overwhelmed and unhealed.
Now we're going to talk aboutlies, which are the agreements
that chain us.
Here's where the enemy getstactical.
Every wound opens the door to alie.
And in the book Unbound, NeilLozano teaches that when we
(10:18):
agree with these lies, evensubconsciously, we give them
spiritual and emotional power.
They can often sound like Ican't relax without a drink.
People like me more when I'vehad a drink.
I'm too emotionally weak to dothis without help.
I've always struggled and Ialways will.
(10:40):
I can't handle life.
Now notice these are not justthoughts.
They are agreements that we'vemade about how life works.
When a lie gets repeated overand over for years, it stops
sounding like a lie and itstarts sounding like
self-awareness.
But self-awareness built on liesisn't healing.
(11:03):
It's bondage, disguised ashonesty.
So let's pause right here.
And I'd like you to ask yourselfthese questions.
What do I believe alcohol givesme that I don't think I can get
anywhere else?
What fear rises in me at thethought of never using alcohol
(11:24):
again?
What do I believe I cannothandle without it?
That's not judgment, but that'sa revelation.
Now let me paint a picture thatyou might recognize.
There's a woman, let's call herMabel, and she doesn't think she
has any major wounds.
(11:44):
She just feels tired all thetime.
She loves her kids, but shefeels constantly behind.
She dreads evenings because by 6PM she's overstimulated and
emotionally depleted.
Somewhere along the way, shepicked up the belief evenings
are hard and a drink helps meunwind.
Every night, the wound ofpowerlessness whispers, You
(12:07):
can't handle this.
The lie answers alcohol makes iteasier.
She agrees and she drinks.
So now that we've uncovered thefirst half of the cycle, wound
equals pain equals lie equalsagreement equals alcohol as
coping.
(12:28):
Now what do we do with that?
We break the agreement.
We renounce the lie.
We forgive what caused thewound.
We reclaim authority.
We receive the Father's truth.
We walk in freedom with supportand grace.
That begins with the courageousact of renunciation, a
(12:48):
spiritual, emotion, andneurological shift.
Now that we've named the lies,the next step is renunciation,
and this is where women oftenfeel a shift.
But first, let's clarify somethings.
Renunciation is not wishingthings were different.
It is not hoping.
(13:10):
It is not hoping I believesomething new every day.
It is a direct rejection ofspiritual, emotional, and
neurological agreement with alie.
It's like saying, I cancel thecontract, I unknowingly signed
with this belief.
In Unbound, Neil Lozanodescribes renunciation as
(13:33):
withdrawing permission.
When you renounce a lie, you areessentially saying, you no
longer get to occupy space in myidentity, my emotions, or my
decisions.
Here are just a few examples.
In the name of Jesus, I renouncethe lie that I need alcohol to
feel peace.
(13:53):
I renounce the belief that Icannot connect with people
without a drink in my hand.
I renounce the identity of thewoman who always struggles with
this.
I renounce the fear that if Idon't drink, I won't be able to
handle my emotions.
When spoken with belief, evenshaky belief, renunciation does
(14:14):
two things.
First, it does somethingspiritually, because it breaks
the agreement with the enemy'sinfluence.
And second, it does somethingneurologically.
It signals the brain that thispathway is no longer the safest
option, making space for new andhealthier neural rewiring.
(14:37):
But what if you don't fullybelieve the truth yet?
That's totally fine.
You don't need perfect belief.
You just need willingness.
You can even say, Jesus, Irenounce this lie and I ask you
to help my unbelief.
Now we're going to move into thestage that many women try to
(15:00):
avoid, not because they'restubborn, but because they
misunderstand it.
This was a really hard one forme.
I'll just put that out there.
It's about forgiveness, arelease.
Now, before we begin, I justwant to say very clearly that
forgiveness is not excusing,it's not forgetting.
(15:22):
Forgiveness is not excusing,it's not forgetting, it is not
reconciliation, it does not meanwhat happened was okay.
Forgiveness is releasing someonefrom the debt that they owe you
so that you can stop paying theinterest.
In inner healing, unforgivenessbecomes emotional pressure, and
(15:44):
pressure often leads to numbingbehaviors, like reaching for a
drink.
That includes forgiving others,forgiving situations, and
forgiving yourself.
Sometimes the hardest words tosay are, I forgive myself for
(17:36):
the years I numbed instead ofhealed.
I forgive myself for choosingsurvival when I didn't know that
freedom was possible.
Forgiveness is an act ofobedience that leads to an
experience of healing, not theother way around.
Forgiveness is an action.
It is a choice, it is not afeeling.
(18:00):
When I found that out, oh mygoodness, it changed so much for
me and it made forgiving a loteasier.
The other thing to know aboutforgiveness is that it's an
ongoing process.
So let's say you forgive someonefor something and you meant it,
but then a little while lateryou remember something else.
(18:22):
Well, if it comes up again,forgive again.
Continually forgive.
Now, if you're open to this, I'dlike you to ask Jesus, Jesus,
who do I still feel emotionallytied to through pain or
(18:42):
disappointment?
Jesus, what memory or patternfeels heavy when it comes to my
drinking?
Jesus, is there a youngerversion of me I need to forgive
for how she coped?
You may not be ready to act yet,and that's totally okay.
(19:03):
Awareness is already movementtoward freedom.
Now let's be real.
Sometimes we can say I'm overit, but what we mean is I've
shoved it into my emotional junkdrawer under 14 target receipts
and a broken pen cap.
Forgiveness is like opening thatdrawer, holding something up,
rolling our eyes, and saying,Okay, fine, Lord, I officially
(19:26):
release this now before itmorphs into another coping
cycle.
When we renounce a lie andrelease pain through
forgiveness, somethingunexpected happens.
Space opens.
And that space must be filled,not with grit, not with control,
but with authority and blessing.
Once lies are announced andforgiveness has loosened
(19:46):
emotional chains, we enter acritical point, authority.
Let me just clarify, because theword authority can feel a bit
intimidating or even out ofreach, especially if you've
spent years feeling powerless.
If you are a daughter of God,you are not just rescued, you
are commissioned.
(20:08):
Jesus didn't just save you fromsomething, he saved you into
something, a new spiritualidentity with access to his
authority.
Authority doesn't meanpretending you're strong,
authority actually meansacknowledging that he is strong
in you.
And you are now living from hispower instead of your pain.
(20:29):
In the book Unbound, Neil Lozanocalls this step command, where
we confidently claim freedomthat Christ already won.
In simple terms, I am notbegging for freedom, I'm
stepping into freedom alreadypurchased for me.
So here are some exampledeclarations.
(20:50):
In the name of Jesus, I choosepeace instead of anxiety.
By his authority, I claimclarity instead of confusion.
Through Christ, I haveeverything I need to manage my
emotions without numbing them.
I have authority over my urges.
(21:12):
They do not rule me.
Neurologically, this reinforcesnew identity pathways.
Spiritually, it closes the doorto fear, shame, and dependency.
Now, this is one of the mostoverlooked steps, receiving
blessing.
Why does this matter?
Because healing is not justabout removing lies, it's about
(21:35):
replacing them with truth.
If you renounce withoutblessing, your heart remains
empty, and emptiness oftensearches for familiar comfort,
which can lead back to oldpatterns.
But when truth is spoken intothe newly cleared space, it
roots and strengthens yourtransformation identity.
(21:56):
Here are some examples.
I am beloved and safe in theFather's care.
I am emotionally capable throughgrace.
I was made for freedom, notfear.
I carry peace with me.
I don't have to drink to borrowit.
The Holy Spirit equips me inmoments of stress.
(22:18):
I am not overwhelmed or alone.
I walk steady even when emotionsrise, because Christ steadies
me.
Now let's put all of thattogether in a short guided
activation.
You can pause here and repeatafter me if you feel ready.
If not, you can simply listenand let these words pass through
like seeds waiting for the rightmoment to take root.
(22:41):
Okay, here we go.
In the name of Jesus, I renouncethe lie that I need alcohol to
feel peace.
I forgive myself for the ways Icoped before I knew how to heal.
Jesus, I accept your authorityin my life.
Father, speak truth into myidentity.
I receive this blessing.
(23:03):
I am beloved, capable, and held.
I can walk in peace, not escape.
I am no longer in bondage.
I am free to heal, free to grow,and free to live fully awake in
your grace.
Finally, let's talk about whathappens when healing actually
begins to take root.
(23:23):
This is so exciting becausethere's a huge difference
between sobriety fueled by fear,self-punishment, and tight
control, and freedom fueled byhealing, identity, and peace.
White knuckling sobriety soundslike I can't drink because I'll
ruin everything.
I'm not allowed to have wine orI'll lose control.
(23:44):
I must stay strong or I'lldisappoint everyone.
This is who I have to be now.
Emotionally, this kind ofsobriety still feels like
walking off the edge of a cliff,afraid of falling with every
single step.
There's constant anxiety aroundslipping, and you think about
alcohol often.
You may even feel fear orresentment, and certainly
(24:08):
deprivation when you are aroundsocial events.
That's not freedom.
That's captivity in a prettieroutfit.
Now, healed freedom sounds likethis.
I no longer need alcohol tocope.
I feel better without it than Iever did with it.
Peace is something I carry, notsomething I pour.
(24:32):
Even when I am emotionally low,I just don't feel the pull
toward escape.
When wounds are healed, alcoholloses its emotional power
because the root pain that wascalling for it has been
addressed.
Just like how a weed with rootswill keep growing back if you
keep cutting at the surface.
(24:52):
But once that root is pulledout, it's just gone and you
don't feel haunted by itanymore.
Now going back to Mabel fromearlier, the overwhelmed evening
drinker.
After walking through identity,healing, releasing old lies, and
learning to regulate heremotions through grace-based
practices, there was a nightwhen she cooked dinner, handled
(25:13):
bedtime chaos, even had a hardconversation with her husband,
and later she found herselfsitting on the couch with tea,
not wine, and realizing shewasn't biting the urge to drink.
There just wasn't an urge.
She felt peace, and in thatpeace she whispered, Oh, so this
is what people mean when theysay freedom.
(25:36):
Healing didn't make her lifeeasier, but it did make her
heart stronger.
And when your heart is strong,alcohol no longer feels like a
lifeline.
It feels like a distraction.
So the path is not try harder toquit.
The path is identity, healing,freedom, and sobriety as a
byproduct.
But most women don't know how towalk the path alone, and they
(25:59):
shouldn't have to, becausefreedom happens most fruitfully
in guided healing environmentsand a supportive community.
Maybe as you listened, yourealized I've been attacking the
fruit without tending to theroot.
I don't just want to controlalcohol.
I want to live in freedom Idon't have to fight for every
day.
(26:20):
If part of you whispered, yes,that's me, let me tell you this.
That nudge is holy.
It's not hype or pressure orspiritual FOMO, it's an
invitation.
I walk with women through thisexact journey, identity first,
deep healing second, freedom asa fruit, using faith,
neuroscience, embodiment, andactual doable rhythms.
(26:44):
Whether you're trying tomoderate, take a break, or
finally walk away from alcoholfor good, this work is not about
controlling your behavior.
It's about transforming yourheart.
Inside my sacred sobriety lab,we go deeper into healing
frameworks like the ones we'vetalked through today.
We build habits that supportyour nervous system and we
(27:04):
integrate truth into daily life,not just conceptually, but
practically.
It's where women say, for thefirst time, I feel like I'm
healing from the inside out.
If you need sisterhood andguidance without pressure, this
is the place to start.
Now, if you feel God asking youto go deeper, personally, with
(27:26):
focus, I do offer 12-sessionone-on-one coaching where we
walk this path together based onyour wounds, your triggers, your
healing timeline, and youridentity in Christ.
This isn't just about I thisisn't just accountability.
It's inner healing withstrategy, compassion, and
(27:48):
transformation.
And if you're not sure whichone's right for you, I offer
free clarity calls, zeropressure, zero weirdness, just a
safe space to discern the rightnext step.
If it's not with me, I'll stillhelp you figure out the right
direction for you.
And that's my promise.
If something stirred in youwhile you are listening today,
(28:09):
don't put it back to sleep.
Freedom is possible for you.
Not because you're strongenough, but because God is
faithful enough.
And healing isn't something youearn by getting your life
together first.
Healing is something you receivewhile still messy, still
uncertain, still in progress.
(28:29):
If today felt like a beginning,honor it.
I will talk to you again soon.
Well, that does it for thisepisode of the Catholic Sobriety
Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episode,and I would invite you to share
it with a friend who might alsoget value from it as well.
And make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
(28:52):
I am the Catholic SobrietyCoach, and if you would like to
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,the Catholic Sobriety Coach.
SPEAKER_00
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives.
Women who are looking to drinkless or not at all for any
reason.
I am your host, Christy Walker.
I'm a wife, mom, and ajoy-filled Catholic, and I am
(01:02):
the Catholic sobriety coach, andI'm so glad you're here.
Hey friend, take a breath forjust a second.
I don't know where you'relistening right now.
Maybe you're folding laundry,walking the dog, hiding in your
car for five quiet minutesbefore re-entering the chaos of
(01:24):
family life.
Wherever you are, consider thisyour permission to unclench your
jaw and be here for a moment.
You don't have to perform rightnow, you don't have to get it
all figured out right now.
You're here and that's whatmatters.
Today we are talking aboutsomething tender and powerful.
(01:46):
Inner healing and freedomministry.
Inner healing, freedom ministry,and how it all connects to your
relationship with alcohol.
Because alcohol is almost neverthe actual problem.
It's the fruit, not the root.
And when we try to fix alcoholuse without healing what made
(02:06):
alcohol feel necessary, here'swhat happens.
And maybe this sounds familiar.
You stop drinking, but nowyou're inhaling sugar like it's
your love language.
Or you swap Chardonnay forscrolling.
Or your evenings become afrantic cleaning spree because
if the house is spotless, thenmaybe you'll finally feel in
(02:30):
control.
Or you're technically sober, butstill restless, anxious,
irritable, or secretly thinking,something is missing.
Why don't I feel better yet?
That's because white knucklesobriety without inner healing
often leads to transferaddictions, emotional chaos, and
(02:52):
a constant sense of low gradespiritual unease.
So today isn't just aboutquitting drinking.
It's about asking, why didalcohol feel like relief in the
first place?
What wound was it soothing?
What lie was it reinforcing?
And what does true freedom looklike when healing starts from
(03:16):
the inside?
Now we're going to move througha healing arc rooted in the
frameworks of EncounterMinistries, which is identity
first healing, Be Healed by Dr.
Bob Schutz, where we'll discusswounds and lies, and Unbound by
(03:39):
Neil Lozano, where we'll talkabout renunciation, forgiveness,
authority, and blessing.
Why?
Because these frameworks don'tjust help women stop drinking,
they help women become who theyactually are without needing
something to numb or definethem.
(04:01):
In freedom ministry, identity isalways first because you cannot
heal what you believe youdeserve.
When I started at EncounterSchool of Ministries, that was
the very first thing that welearned.
There was an entire quarter juston identity.
(04:23):
Let me gently ask you, whatidentity have you accidentally
lived under?
The I'm the overwhelmed mom whoneeds wine to take the edge off.
I'm the anxious one.
I'm just not strong enough.
I'm always caving.
Even when I quit, I feel emptywithout it.
(04:46):
I'm the socially awkward one whoneeds a drink to loosen up.
Now here's the sneaky thing.
When alcohol becomes part ofyour identity narrative, even if
it's harmful, part of you willdefend it because losing it
feels like losing part ofyourself.
And when you've worn a labellong enough, even a painful one,
(05:09):
it can start to feel like home,like comfort.
Not because it's safe, butbecause it's familiar.
But here's the truth, and thismay be uncomfortable because
lies feel easier to believe thanholy identity, especially when
you're tired.
You are not the woman who cannothandle life without wine.
(05:32):
You are not weak, and you arenot permanently anxious.
You are beloved, daughter of theFather, you are seen, you are
safe, and provided for.
You are not surviving on scrapsof borrowed peace.
You were created for abundantfreedom.
Jesus didn't come to make youbetter at coping.
(05:55):
He came to set you free.
Now let me ask you a couple ofquestions, and you can just let
this sit if you're not quiteready to answer.
Who have I believed that I amwhen it comes to alcohol?
What titles or labels have Iworn that aren't from God?
(06:19):
When I imagine giving up alcoholfully, what identity feels
threatened?
If those questions hit a littledeep, that's good.
That means the Holy Spirit isalready opening a door.
Now that we've groundedourselves in identity, let's
(06:39):
gently but honestly look at thesurface.
Here's the truth.
Most women don't drink becausethey love alcohol.
They drink because somethinghurts.
And pain always looks for aplace to go.
In the book Be Healed, Dr.
Bob Schutz identifies five corewounds that many of us carry,
(07:02):
often rooted in past experiencesor ongoing emotional realities.
There's the wound of rejection,the wound of abandonment, the
wound of fear, the wound ofshame, and the wound of
powerlessness.
Now the wound of rejection says,I am unwanted, which produces an
(07:25):
emotional reaction ofloneliness.
And where alcohol steps in iswine, becomes that false sense
of belonging.
The wound of abandonment.
The thought is I'm alone.
The common emotion that comeswith that is desperation or even
fear.
(07:45):
Alcohol steps in and it becomesyour company, your best friend.
Then there's the wound of fear.
I am not safe.
The emotion that comes with thatis anxiety or hypervigilance.
(08:06):
And for that wound, alcoholfeels like relief.
The next is shame.
Something is wrong with me.
The emotion might beself-disgust.
Then alcohol steps in.
And drinking numbs that sense ofunworthiness.
(08:27):
The wound of powerlessness.
I just can't handle life rightnow.
The emotion that comes with thatis overwhelm or despair.
Where alcohol steps in is thatalcohol gives the illusion of
control.
Now you might think, but I'mfine, I'm just stressed.
(08:47):
Yes.
But stress often isn't thewound, it's the symptom, just
like alcohol is.
For example, maybe you were theoldest daughter who always had
to hold everything together.
So powerlessness is terrifying.
Maybe you were the good girl,praised for keeping the peace.
So you fear rejection andconflict.
(09:11):
Or maybe nobody taught you howto be sad without shame.
When life hits these wounds overand over, our nervous system is
screaming for relief.
And one day, a glass ofsomething becomes the quickest,
most socially acceptable form ofrelief.
It works for about 20 minutes.
(09:33):
And then the shame returns evenstronger.
And the cycle reinforces itself.
Sometimes it looks like thehouse is loud, the day was long,
someone said mom, 327 times, mynervous system is for ride.
And I'd like to temporarily exitmy body now, please.
(09:56):
If that sounds familiar, justknow you're not broken, you're
just overwhelmed and unhealed.
Now we're going to talk aboutlies, which are the agreements
that chain us.
Here's where the enemy getstactical.
Every wound opens the door to alie.
And in the book Unbound, NeilLozano teaches that when we
(10:18):
agree with these lies, evensubconsciously, we give them
spiritual and emotional power.
They can often sound like Ican't relax without a drink.
People like me more when I'vehad a drink.
I'm too emotionally weak to dothis without help.
I've always struggled and Ialways will.
(10:40):
I can't handle life.
Now notice these are not justthoughts.
They are agreements that we'vemade about how life works.
When a lie gets repeated overand over for years, it stops
sounding like a lie and itstarts sounding like
self-awareness.
But self-awareness built on liesisn't healing.
(11:03):
It's bondage, disguised ashonesty.
So let's pause right here.
And I'd like you to ask yourselfthese questions.
What do I believe alcohol givesme that I don't think I can get
anywhere else?
What fear rises in me at thethought of never using alcohol
(11:24):
again?
What do I believe I cannothandle without it?
That's not judgment, but that'sa revelation.
Now let me paint a picture thatyou might recognize.
There's a woman, let's call herMabel, and she doesn't think she
has any major wounds.
(11:44):
She just feels tired all thetime.
She loves her kids, but shefeels constantly behind.
She dreads evenings because by 6PM she's overstimulated and
emotionally depleted.
Somewhere along the way, shepicked up the belief evenings
are hard and a drink helps meunwind.
Every night, the wound ofpowerlessness whispers, You
(12:07):
can't handle this.
The lie answers alcohol makes iteasier.
She agrees and she drinks.
So now that we've uncovered thefirst half of the cycle, wound
equals pain equals lie equalsagreement equals alcohol as
coping.
(12:28):
Now what do we do with that?
We break the agreement.
We renounce the lie.
We forgive what caused thewound.
We reclaim authority.
We receive the Father's truth.
We walk in freedom with supportand grace.
That begins with the courageousact of renunciation, a
(12:48):
spiritual, emotion, andneurological shift.
Now that we've named the lies,the next step is renunciation,
and this is where women oftenfeel a shift.
But first, let's clarify somethings.
Renunciation is not wishingthings were different.
It is not hoping.
(13:10):
It is not hoping I believesomething new every day.
It is a direct rejection ofspiritual, emotional, and
neurological agreement with alie.
It's like saying, I cancel thecontract, I unknowingly signed
with this belief.
In Unbound, Neil Lozanodescribes renunciation as
(13:33):
withdrawing permission.
When you renounce a lie, you areessentially saying, you no
longer get to occupy space in myidentity, my emotions, or my
decisions.
Here are just a few examples.
In the name of Jesus, I renouncethe lie that I need alcohol to
feel peace.
(13:53):
I renounce the belief that Icannot connect with people
without a drink in my hand.
I renounce the identity of thewoman who always struggles with
this.
I renounce the fear that if Idon't drink, I won't be able to
handle my emotions.
When spoken with belief, evenshaky belief, renunciation does
(14:14):
two things.
First, it does somethingspiritually, because it breaks
the agreement with the enemy'sinfluence.
And second, it does somethingneurologically.
It signals the brain that thispathway is no longer the safest
option, making space for new andhealthier neural rewiring.
(14:37):
But what if you don't fullybelieve the truth yet?
That's totally fine.
You don't need perfect belief.
You just need willingness.
You can even say, Jesus, Irenounce this lie and I ask you
to help my unbelief.
Now we're going to move into thestage that many women try to
(15:00):
avoid, not because they'restubborn, but because they
misunderstand it.
This was a really hard one forme.
I'll just put that out there.
It's about forgiveness, arelease.
Now, before we begin, I justwant to say very clearly that
forgiveness is not excusing,it's not forgetting.
(15:22):
Forgiveness is not excusing,it's not forgetting, it is not
reconciliation, it does not meanwhat happened was okay.
Forgiveness is releasing someonefrom the debt that they owe you
so that you can stop paying theinterest.
In inner healing, unforgivenessbecomes emotional pressure, and
(15:44):
pressure often leads to numbingbehaviors, like reaching for a
drink.
That includes forgiving others,forgiving situations, and
forgiving yourself.
Sometimes the hardest words tosay are, I forgive myself for
(17:36):
the years I numbed instead ofhealed.
I forgive myself for choosingsurvival when I didn't know that
freedom was possible.
Forgiveness is an act ofobedience that leads to an
experience of healing, not theother way around.
Forgiveness is an action.
It is a choice, it is not afeeling.
(18:00):
When I found that out, oh mygoodness, it changed so much for
me and it made forgiving a loteasier.
The other thing to know aboutforgiveness is that it's an
ongoing process.
So let's say you forgive someonefor something and you meant it,
but then a little while lateryou remember something else.
(18:22):
Well, if it comes up again,forgive again.
Continually forgive.
Now, if you're open to this, I'dlike you to ask Jesus, Jesus,
who do I still feel emotionallytied to through pain or
(18:42):
disappointment?
Jesus, what memory or patternfeels heavy when it comes to my
drinking?
Jesus, is there a youngerversion of me I need to forgive
for how she coped?
You may not be ready to act yet,and that's totally okay.
(19:03):
Awareness is already movementtoward freedom.
Now let's be real.
Sometimes we can say I'm overit, but what we mean is I've
shoved it into my emotional junkdrawer under 14 target receipts
and a broken pen cap.
Forgiveness is like opening thatdrawer, holding something up,
rolling our eyes, and saying,Okay, fine, Lord, I officially
(19:26):
release this now before itmorphs into another coping
cycle.
When we renounce a lie andrelease pain through
forgiveness, somethingunexpected happens.
Space opens.
And that space must be filled,not with grit, not with control,
but with authority and blessing.
Once lies are announced andforgiveness has loosened
(19:46):
emotional chains, we enter acritical point, authority.
Let me just clarify, because theword authority can feel a bit
intimidating or even out ofreach, especially if you've
spent years feeling powerless.
If you are a daughter of God,you are not just rescued, you
are commissioned.
(20:08):
Jesus didn't just save you fromsomething, he saved you into
something, a new spiritualidentity with access to his
authority.
Authority doesn't meanpretending you're strong,
authority actually meansacknowledging that he is strong
in you.
And you are now living from hispower instead of your pain.
(20:29):
In the book Unbound, Neil Lozanocalls this step command, where
we confidently claim freedomthat Christ already won.
In simple terms, I am notbegging for freedom, I'm
stepping into freedom alreadypurchased for me.
So here are some exampledeclarations.
(20:50):
In the name of Jesus, I choosepeace instead of anxiety.
By his authority, I claimclarity instead of confusion.
Through Christ, I haveeverything I need to manage my
emotions without numbing them.
I have authority over my urges.
(21:12):
They do not rule me.
Neurologically, this reinforcesnew identity pathways.
Spiritually, it closes the doorto fear, shame, and dependency.
Now, this is one of the mostoverlooked steps, receiving
blessing.
Why does this matter?
Because healing is not justabout removing lies, it's about
(21:35):
replacing them with truth.
If you renounce withoutblessing, your heart remains
empty, and emptiness oftensearches for familiar comfort,
which can lead back to oldpatterns.
But when truth is spoken intothe newly cleared space, it
roots and strengthens yourtransformation identity.
(21:56):
Here are some examples.
I am beloved and safe in theFather's care.
I am emotionally capable throughgrace.
I was made for freedom, notfear.
I carry peace with me.
I don't have to drink to borrowit.
The Holy Spirit equips me inmoments of stress.
(22:18):
I am not overwhelmed or alone.
I walk steady even when emotionsrise, because Christ steadies
me.
Now let's put all of thattogether in a short guided
activation.
You can pause here and repeatafter me if you feel ready.
If not, you can simply listenand let these words pass through
like seeds waiting for the rightmoment to take root.
(22:41):
Okay, here we go.
In the name of Jesus, I renouncethe lie that I need alcohol to
feel peace.
I forgive myself for the ways Icoped before I knew how to heal.
Jesus, I accept your authorityin my life.
Father, speak truth into myidentity.
I receive this blessing.
(23:03):
I am beloved, capable, and held.
I can walk in peace, not escape.
I am no longer in bondage.
I am free to heal, free to grow,and free to live fully awake in
your grace.
Finally, let's talk about whathappens when healing actually
begins to take root.
(23:23):
This is so exciting becausethere's a huge difference
between sobriety fueled by fear,self-punishment, and tight
control, and freedom fueled byhealing, identity, and peace.
White knuckling sobriety soundslike I can't drink because I'll
ruin everything.
I'm not allowed to have wine orI'll lose control.
(23:44):
I must stay strong or I'lldisappoint everyone.
This is who I have to be now.
Emotionally, this kind ofsobriety still feels like
walking off the edge of a cliff,afraid of falling with every
single step.
There's constant anxiety aroundslipping, and you think about
alcohol often.
You may even feel fear orresentment, and certainly
(24:08):
deprivation when you are aroundsocial events.
That's not freedom.
That's captivity in a prettieroutfit.
Now, healed freedom sounds likethis.
I no longer need alcohol tocope.
I feel better without it than Iever did with it.
Peace is something I carry, notsomething I pour.
(24:32):
Even when I am emotionally low,I just don't feel the pull
toward escape.
When wounds are healed, alcoholloses its emotional power
because the root pain that wascalling for it has been
addressed.
Just like how a weed with rootswill keep growing back if you
keep cutting at the surface.
(24:52):
But once that root is pulledout, it's just gone and you
don't feel haunted by itanymore.
Now going back to Mabel fromearlier, the overwhelmed evening
drinker.
After walking through identity,healing, releasing old lies, and
learning to regulate heremotions through grace-based
practices, there was a nightwhen she cooked dinner, handled
(25:13):
bedtime chaos, even had a hardconversation with her husband,
and later she found herselfsitting on the couch with tea,
not wine, and realizing shewasn't biting the urge to drink.
There just wasn't an urge.
She felt peace, and in thatpeace she whispered, Oh, so this
is what people mean when theysay freedom.
(25:36):
Healing didn't make her lifeeasier, but it did make her
heart stronger.
And when your heart is strong,alcohol no longer feels like a
lifeline.
It feels like a distraction.
So the path is not try harder toquit.
The path is identity, healing,freedom, and sobriety as a
byproduct.
But most women don't know how towalk the path alone, and they
(25:59):
shouldn't have to, becausefreedom happens most fruitfully
in guided healing environmentsand a supportive community.
Maybe as you listened, yourealized I've been attacking the
fruit without tending to theroot.
I don't just want to controlalcohol.
I want to live in freedom Idon't have to fight for every
day.
(26:20):
If part of you whispered, yes,that's me, let me tell you this.
That nudge is holy.
It's not hype or pressure orspiritual FOMO, it's an
invitation.
I walk with women through thisexact journey, identity first,
deep healing second, freedom asa fruit, using faith,
neuroscience, embodiment, andactual doable rhythms.
(26:44):
Whether you're trying tomoderate, take a break, or
finally walk away from alcoholfor good, this work is not about
controlling your behavior.
It's about transforming yourheart.
Inside my sacred sobriety lab,we go deeper into healing
frameworks like the ones we'vetalked through today.
We build habits that supportyour nervous system and we
(27:04):
integrate truth into daily life,not just conceptually, but
practically.
It's where women say, for thefirst time, I feel like I'm
healing from the inside out.
If you need sisterhood andguidance without pressure, this
is the place to start.
Now, if you feel God asking youto go deeper, personally, with
(27:26):
focus, I do offer 12-sessionone-on-one coaching where we
walk this path together based onyour wounds, your triggers, your
healing timeline, and youridentity in Christ.
This isn't just about I thisisn't just accountability.
It's inner healing withstrategy, compassion, and
(27:48):
transformation.
And if you're not sure whichone's right for you, I offer
free clarity calls, zeropressure, zero weirdness, just a
safe space to discern the rightnext step.
If it's not with me, I'll stillhelp you figure out the right
direction for you.
And that's my promise.
If something stirred in youwhile you are listening today,
(28:09):
don't put it back to sleep.
Freedom is possible for you.
Not because you're strongenough, but because God is
faithful enough.
And healing isn't something youearn by getting your life
together first.
Healing is something you receivewhile still messy, still
uncertain, still in progress.
(28:29):
If today felt like a beginning,honor it.
I will talk to you again soon.
Well, that does it for thisepisode of the Catholic Sobriety
Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episode,and I would invite you to share
it with a friend who might alsoget value from it as well.
And make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
(28:52):
I am the Catholic SobrietyCoach, and if you would like to
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,the Catholic Sobriety Coach.
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