January 5, 2024 • 11 mins
Ever feel like your journey to sobriety is a solo trek up a mountain without a map? In our latest minisode, I'll unravel why those attempts at cutting back on alcohol might be fizzling out and offer practical, Spirit-filled strategies for a steadfast resolve. We're talking divine determination over willpower, and how a little heavenly help can lead to monumental change.
Transform your evening ritual from wine and weariness to tea and tranquility, as I discuss the vital role of redefining your routine for successful sobriety. Plus, I'll highlight the importance of having a cheerleader in your corner, someone to journey alongside you, whether that's a coach or a confidant. So fill your cup with your favorite non-alcoholic beverage and let's share this sacred space, exploring how to weave your sobriety goals into the fabric of your daily life for a more fulfilling, alcohol-free tomorrow.
I'm here for you. I'm praying for you. You are NOT alone!
Please subscribe to this podcast so you won't miss a thing!
Join the Sacred Sobriety Lab: https://sacredsobrietylab.com
Drink Less or Not at All FREE Guide: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/63a4abe81488000c28b9ba89
Follow me on Instagram @thecatholicsobrietycoach
Visit my Website: https://thecatholicsobrietycoach.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Catholic sobriety podcast
mini-soad.
These shorter episodes providequick tips and information that
you can refer back to when youneed it most so you can achieve
and maintain your desired levelof sobriety.
I am your sobriety coach andhost of this podcast, kristy
Walker.
Let's get started.
(00:23):
Why isn't your commitment todrink less or not at all
sticking for you?
Well, I don't know why it ishappening for you personally,
but I have five reasons thattypically come up with my
clients or other women that Ispeak with, and I have a feeling
(00:43):
that at least one of these,probably more, are going to
resonate with you, and I'm goingto give you some solutions on
how to fix it in today'smini-soad.
So let's dive in.
So the first reason why yourefforts to reduce or eliminate
your alcohol consumption aren'tsticking is something that I
(01:06):
discussed in episode 44.
It's a mini-soad calledWillpower is useless.
Instead, unlock the power ofdivine determination.
So you may be relying onwillpower, and when you look up
what willpower is, it has adefinition of to control or
(01:28):
restrain impulses, self-command,self-control, self mastery, and
I don't know about you, butjust reading that and thinking
about that makes my whole bodytense up.
How about you?
So let's take a deep breath andtalk about what determination
(01:50):
is.
Determination is firmness ofpurpose.
It's a process of establishingsomething by calculation and
research.
So that's part of the reasonwhy I have created my sacred
sobriety lab to be a lab, aplace of experimenting and
(02:13):
trying things out.
Not judgment, but just tryingto research and see what works
and see what doesn't, and thatjust feels so much more peaceful
to me as I'm saying that andreading it and thinking about it
.
So if that feels more peacefulto your brain too, then I want
(02:36):
you to really tap intodetermination and even beyond
determination, let's bring theHoly Spirit into the process,
asking him to convict our heartsand to strengthen our gifts,
our spiritual gifts that we aregiven by virtue of our baptism
(02:57):
as daughters of the most high,and let's have divine
determination because, quitehonestly, willpower is useless.
Another reason why it might notbe sticking or you might be
having trouble is that you aredoing exactly the same things
(03:19):
how you have always done them,in the way you have always done
them, except you do not havealcohol as part of the equation.
So I would just offer that, ifyou are trying to drink glass or
not at all and it's a veryhabitual thing for you.
You need to completely changearound your habit and change
(03:44):
around your schedule.
So first, make sure that youhave a set sleep and wake time.
Do that at the same time everyday and every, or every night
and every morning, and maybechange up what you are doing in
the evenings.
If you tend to get the kids tobed, plop yourself in front of
(04:07):
the couch after you've grabbed aglass of wine and watch you
know, I don't know Food Networkor whatever show you watch.
Maybe instead of doing that,you can make yourself a cup of
tea, go up to your bed, yourbedroom and maybe journal or
read, listen to, like, maybe,bible in a year.
(04:29):
That's a great thing to do.
Really change up your routineand that will help you change
your habit and it'll be so mucheasier.
The third reason that you may behaving a difficult time trying
to find the level of sobrietythat's right for you and stick
to it is that you don't have thesupport you need.
(04:51):
Maybe you are just keeping thisall to yourself and you haven't
really told anyone about yourgoals and your efforts.
Maybe you have told people, butthey're not that supportive.
So I would encourage you tohave that support system, have
someone who is going to hold youaccountable, who you can talk
(05:13):
to about your journey, who youcan talk to about your struggles
.
If you start to feel like youdo want to drink but you don't
and you just kind of want totalk it through with someone,
this is where having a sobrietycoach can be very helpful,
because a coach can hold youaccountable and support you.
(05:33):
But even then, I always saythat having somebody that you
can just talk to, especiallyface-to-face, go have coffee
with or do something with, andtalk about your efforts, what's
going well, what you're havingdifficulty with, is very, very
beneficial.
Now I also, with my SacredSubriety Lab, have a VIP
(05:58):
Facebook group so the women inthere can talk and support each
other, they can discuss what'sworking, what's not working, and
it is a great place for supportand accountability as well.
So there's always that option.
If you don't have someone inyour life, the worst thing you
(06:18):
can do is isolate and just keepit to yourself, because we are
not super good at holdingourselves accountable.
So being accountable to anotherperson is just going to
accelerate your efforts further.
The fourth reason that yoursobriety might not be sticking
has to do with dopaminedeficiency.
(06:41):
So dopamine, as many of youknow, is a neurotransmitter.
It's a type of chemicalmessenger that sends signals to
the brain and other areas.
It's one that plays a huge rolein pleasure and reward.
So when something good happensunexpectedly, then dopamine is
(07:01):
released and that makes us feelgreat and that leads to a
positive outcome whichreinforces that action and keeps
us going back for more, whichis what alcohol does.
So alcohol, like many otherdrugs, has a direct effect on
the dopamine system.
(07:22):
Now it artificially stimulatesthe release of large amounts of
dopamine and that creates a highor intense sense of pleasure.
Now, over time, the brainadjusts to these high levels of
dopamine and produces less ofthe neurotransmitter or reduces
(07:42):
the number of receptors that canreceive the signals.
So, as a result, when we drinkexcessively, we often end up
with a dopamine deficiency andthen we find that we can't feel
pleasure from other things, eventhings that we used to really,
really enjoy, and that the onlything that seems to trigger
(08:03):
those feelings for us is thesatisfaction of alcohol.
Even just that sensation ofopening a bottle of wine or
popping open, you know, a bottleof beer can trigger that
dopamine.
So breaking the cycle obviouslyis challenging, but it's
totally possible, and one of theways to do that is to find new
(08:30):
and healthy sources of pleasureand reward, and this can be
anything from exercise topetting your dog, hugging your
kids, finding activities thatyou love, hobbies that you love
and even just spending time withloved ones.
And the final reason that itmay be difficult to keep your
(08:54):
commitments to yourself aboutdrinking less or not at all
could be the real or perceivedthoughts of others, of what
others might think about yourdecision to drink less or not at
all.
And this is something that Idiscuss in episode 54, which is
(09:14):
called when friends and familydon't understand your decision
to reduce or eliminate youralcohol intake.
I suggest you go, or I inviteyou to go, and listen to that
episode, because I think itcould be really, really helpful.
But, in a nutshell, the socialpressure to drink it just can be
(09:36):
a very significant obstacle foryou, for most of us, but
learning to set boundaries andreally standing firm with that
divine determination in yourdecision not to drink is crucial
.
It's also important to rememberthat most people are more
concerned with their drinkingthan with what you're doing, so
(09:58):
if you are worried about whatpeople are thinking about you or
wondering about you becauseyou've decided to have a
mocktail or just enjoy somesparkling water instead of a
glass of wine.
Don't worry about it.
It doesn't really matter whatthey're thinking, and in most
(10:18):
cases they're not thinkinganything about it at all.
So I just want to set your mindat ease where that is concerned
.
So I hope that you have foundthis mini soad helpful, as
always.
If you ever have a topic thatyou would like me to tackle,
please feel free to reach out tome.
My contact information is inthe show notes, and don't forget
(10:43):
that I do have a five day freesacred sobriety kickstart, which
is just like a really miniintroduction to the sacred
sobriety lab.
But even if you just do that,you are going to gain some great
tools to help you change yourmindset around your decisions to
drink less or not at all.
(11:04):
Well, that wraps up today'sepisode of the Catholic sobriety
mini soad.
Thank you so much for joiningme and please be sure to
subscribe to this podcast so youdon't miss a thing.
And remember I am here for you,I am praying for you.
You are not alone.
Welcome to the Catholic sobriety podcast
mini-soad.
These shorter episodes providequick tips and information that
you can refer back to when youneed it most so you can achieve
and maintain your desired levelof sobriety.
I am your sobriety coach andhost of this podcast, kristy
Walker.
Let's get started.
(00:23):
Why isn't your commitment todrink less or not at all
sticking for you?
Well, I don't know why it ishappening for you personally,
but I have five reasons thattypically come up with my
clients or other women that Ispeak with, and I have a feeling
(00:43):
that at least one of these,probably more, are going to
resonate with you, and I'm goingto give you some solutions on
how to fix it in today'smini-soad.
So let's dive in.
So the first reason why yourefforts to reduce or eliminate
your alcohol consumption aren'tsticking is something that I
(01:06):
discussed in episode 44.
It's a mini-soad calledWillpower is useless.
Instead, unlock the power ofdivine determination.
So you may be relying onwillpower, and when you look up
what willpower is, it has adefinition of to control or
(01:28):
restrain impulses, self-command,self-control, self mastery, and
I don't know about you, butjust reading that and thinking
about that makes my whole bodytense up.
How about you?
So let's take a deep breath andtalk about what determination
(01:50):
is.
Determination is firmness ofpurpose.
It's a process of establishingsomething by calculation and
research.
So that's part of the reasonwhy I have created my sacred
sobriety lab to be a lab, aplace of experimenting and
(02:13):
trying things out.
Not judgment, but just tryingto research and see what works
and see what doesn't, and thatjust feels so much more peaceful
to me as I'm saying that andreading it and thinking about it
.
So if that feels more peacefulto your brain too, then I want
(02:36):
you to really tap intodetermination and even beyond
determination, let's bring theHoly Spirit into the process,
asking him to convict our heartsand to strengthen our gifts,
our spiritual gifts that we aregiven by virtue of our baptism
(02:57):
as daughters of the most high,and let's have divine
determination because, quitehonestly, willpower is useless.
Another reason why it might notbe sticking or you might be
having trouble is that you aredoing exactly the same things
(03:19):
how you have always done them,in the way you have always done
them, except you do not havealcohol as part of the equation.
So I would just offer that, ifyou are trying to drink glass or
not at all and it's a veryhabitual thing for you.
You need to completely changearound your habit and change
(03:44):
around your schedule.
So first, make sure that youhave a set sleep and wake time.
Do that at the same time everyday and every, or every night
and every morning, and maybechange up what you are doing in
the evenings.
If you tend to get the kids tobed, plop yourself in front of
(04:07):
the couch after you've grabbed aglass of wine and watch you
know, I don't know Food Networkor whatever show you watch.
Maybe instead of doing that,you can make yourself a cup of
tea, go up to your bed, yourbedroom and maybe journal or
read, listen to, like, maybe,bible in a year.
(04:29):
That's a great thing to do.
Really change up your routineand that will help you change
your habit and it'll be so mucheasier.
The third reason that you may behaving a difficult time trying
to find the level of sobrietythat's right for you and stick
to it is that you don't have thesupport you need.
(04:51):
Maybe you are just keeping thisall to yourself and you haven't
really told anyone about yourgoals and your efforts.
Maybe you have told people, butthey're not that supportive.
So I would encourage you tohave that support system, have
someone who is going to hold youaccountable, who you can talk
(05:13):
to about your journey, who youcan talk to about your struggles
.
If you start to feel like youdo want to drink but you don't
and you just kind of want totalk it through with someone,
this is where having a sobrietycoach can be very helpful,
because a coach can hold youaccountable and support you.
(05:33):
But even then, I always saythat having somebody that you
can just talk to, especiallyface-to-face, go have coffee
with or do something with, andtalk about your efforts, what's
going well, what you're havingdifficulty with, is very, very
beneficial.
Now I also, with my SacredSubriety Lab, have a VIP
(05:58):
Facebook group so the women inthere can talk and support each
other, they can discuss what'sworking, what's not working, and
it is a great place for supportand accountability as well.
So there's always that option.
If you don't have someone inyour life, the worst thing you
(06:18):
can do is isolate and just keepit to yourself, because we are
not super good at holdingourselves accountable.
So being accountable to anotherperson is just going to
accelerate your efforts further.
The fourth reason that yoursobriety might not be sticking
has to do with dopaminedeficiency.
(06:41):
So dopamine, as many of youknow, is a neurotransmitter.
It's a type of chemicalmessenger that sends signals to
the brain and other areas.
It's one that plays a huge rolein pleasure and reward.
So when something good happensunexpectedly, then dopamine is
(07:01):
released and that makes us feelgreat and that leads to a
positive outcome whichreinforces that action and keeps
us going back for more, whichis what alcohol does.
So alcohol, like many otherdrugs, has a direct effect on
the dopamine system.
(07:22):
Now it artificially stimulatesthe release of large amounts of
dopamine and that creates a highor intense sense of pleasure.
Now, over time, the brainadjusts to these high levels of
dopamine and produces less ofthe neurotransmitter or reduces
(07:42):
the number of receptors that canreceive the signals.
So, as a result, when we drinkexcessively, we often end up
with a dopamine deficiency andthen we find that we can't feel
pleasure from other things, eventhings that we used to really,
really enjoy, and that the onlything that seems to trigger
(08:03):
those feelings for us is thesatisfaction of alcohol.
Even just that sensation ofopening a bottle of wine or
popping open, you know, a bottleof beer can trigger that
dopamine.
So breaking the cycle obviouslyis challenging, but it's
totally possible, and one of theways to do that is to find new
(08:30):
and healthy sources of pleasureand reward, and this can be
anything from exercise topetting your dog, hugging your
kids, finding activities thatyou love, hobbies that you love
and even just spending time withloved ones.
And the final reason that itmay be difficult to keep your
(08:54):
commitments to yourself aboutdrinking less or not at all
could be the real or perceivedthoughts of others, of what
others might think about yourdecision to drink less or not at
all.
And this is something that Idiscuss in episode 54, which is
(09:14):
called when friends and familydon't understand your decision
to reduce or eliminate youralcohol intake.
I suggest you go, or I inviteyou to go, and listen to that
episode, because I think itcould be really, really helpful.
But, in a nutshell, the socialpressure to drink it just can be
(09:36):
a very significant obstacle foryou, for most of us, but
learning to set boundaries andreally standing firm with that
divine determination in yourdecision not to drink is crucial
.
It's also important to rememberthat most people are more
concerned with their drinkingthan with what you're doing, so
(09:58):
if you are worried about whatpeople are thinking about you or
wondering about you becauseyou've decided to have a
mocktail or just enjoy somesparkling water instead of a
glass of wine.
Don't worry about it.
It doesn't really matter whatthey're thinking, and in most
(10:18):
cases they're not thinkinganything about it at all.
So I just want to set your mindat ease where that is concerned
.
So I hope that you have foundthis mini soad helpful, as
always.
If you ever have a topic thatyou would like me to tackle,
please feel free to reach out tome.
My contact information is inthe show notes, and don't forget
(10:43):
that I do have a five day freesacred sobriety kickstart, which
is just like a really miniintroduction to the sacred
sobriety lab.
But even if you just do that,you are going to gain some great
tools to help you change yourmindset around your decisions to
drink less or not at all.
(11:04):
Well, that wraps up today'sepisode of the Catholic sobriety
mini soad.
Thank you so much for joiningme and please be sure to
subscribe to this podcast so youdon't miss a thing.
And remember I am here for you,I am praying for you.
You are not alone.
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