February 27, 2024 • 53 mins
Joining me for this episode is Lindsay Caron, founder of Theology of the Body (TOB) Parent School. We delve into Lindsay's personal journey, from her Catholic upbringing through her struggle with alcohol, to her creation of a program aimed at nurturing children's self-worth.
We discuss the importance of empowering children with knowledge and strength to face the world, rather than sheltering them.
We also explore the concept of emotional sobriety, underlining the importance of self-compassion in recovery.
Lindsay touches on the philosophy behind the Theology of the Body, providing insights for parents to impart wisdom on personal value and vocation to their children.
To learn more about Lindsay and TOB Parent School and the resources they provide. visit their website: https://www.tobparentschool.org/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Catholic Subriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives, women who are
looking to drink less or not atall for any reason.
I am your host, christy Walker.
I'm a wife, mom and a JoyfieldCatholic and I am the Catholic
(00:23):
Subriety Coach and I am so gladyou're here.
I don't know about you, but Ilook around the world today and
I just think that if people knewjust how precious they are in
the eyes of God, just how lovedthey are, and how he equips us
(00:47):
and he loves us and he poursinto us, I just really feel like
our world would be a betterplace.
And as Catholic parents, wejust want to do that for our
kids.
We want to give them thatbecause they're not going to
find that in the world.
And my guest today, lindsayKaren, is doing just that.
(01:08):
She is the founder and directorof Theology of the Body Parent
School, which is committed toeducating and empowering parents
on the purpose and gift ofpersonhood.
Welcome, lindsay, I'm so gladto have you here today.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm really excited to behere and especially to be able
to talk about just what youmentioned, like the gifts of our
children.
It's just so more important nowthan it ever has been in our
culture.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Oh amen, yes, I agree .
So to get started, Lindsay,could you please share just a
bit about your personal journey,maybe your family life, and how
it led you to establish thetheology of the body parent
school?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, well, I'm a mom of.
I have three boys who are five,seven and ten, and I grew up in
like a stable Catholic home butit was not one that really
talked about feelings very much.
We didn't talk about theologyof the body.
It was coming to exist but itwasn't known and the teachings
(02:20):
of it that you're a dignifiedand precious human being.
Those weren't really part ofthe language of my home, or many
homes I think, when I grew upand so I went off to college and
, like a lot of people, I gotlost pretty quickly and I had
not been that firmly rooted inmy identity and my and the gift
(02:40):
of myself.
So I went seeking for that inall the wrong places, looking,
and you know, sure enough, ifyou're looking it's there right,
and I just ended up fillingmyself with all the wrong things
.
I just tried to fill that voidand tell myself that message
that I was loved and I was goodenough and just turned to the
culture and turned to drinkingand hooking up and the whole
(03:04):
scene of college, california,san Francisco and then, 10 years
later, I was fully addicted toalcohol and had really just seen
my life kind of crumble aroundme and I was really, really
desperate.
So, by a miracle, I becamesober.
I had tried on my own many,many times over that decade, not
(03:27):
been able to do it, and I, justthrough prayer, I woke up one
day and was able to stay sober,which I've been for 12 years.
So that started the journey forme of healing, and there's a
homily that one of the prieststhat I know gave one time, and
he said that there's adifference between being saved
(03:49):
and he being healed.
And so he likened somebody outin the forest who had had a
terrible accident, had fallendown, was alone, had broken legs
and was thinking they weregoing to die.
And then they saw thehelicopter come and they heard
the noise of the helicopter andthey realized that they were
about to be saved.
However, for them to becomehealed was going to take a lot
(04:11):
longer, right?
So that I say that moment 12years ago was when I was saved
from the culture and from thepath that I was on, and that the
healing was going to take a lotlonger.
And so I'm still on thathealing journey probably will be
for life, but part of thatjourney led me to theology of
the body, to discover what mygift and purpose was in life.
(04:33):
And then it became reallyacutely a focus for me when I
had my kids and just recognizingwhat was going on in the
culture, all of the lies thatwere even worse now than when I
grew up, and what my kids weregoing to face and seeing their
little personalities emerge andseeing my oldest, who had a
personality much like my, very,very sensitive, and I just I
(04:55):
remember just looking at himwhen he was little, thinking, oh
, the world's going to devourhim, like what can I tell him,
what can I teach him, what can Iequip him with?
And theology, the body, becamethe answer.
So really, it started with thisdesire to be able to pass
something really solid onto mykids that I didn't have growing
(05:15):
up and then it quickly turnedinto Well, if I am going to do
this for my own kids, you knowthe whole world needs it, so I
might as well put it in a formatwhere I can then share it with
other people.
And it started small like can Ishare this with my friend group
?
Can I share this with my localcommunity, somehow?
And then the idea was just bornof this magazine format that we
(05:37):
have created and we're actuallynow able to share it with the
world, which is just trulyamazing.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah, that is amazing .
I hear so much of myself inyour story, so I just I am so
grateful to you for sharing that.
I'm a mom of three boys too,and I love that, and I identify
so strongly with that desire towant to equip them, not shield
(06:04):
them, but just to prepare themfor what they are going to face.
And I really realized thatdesire more as they've gotten
older and the more that I'velearned about you know what's
out there.
And, of course, even betweenthe time that my twins were
little to now they're almost 17,the world has changed, the
(06:28):
rhetoric has changed in such adramatic way that it's like, oh
my gosh, I have to even up mygame even more.
So it's such a blessing that,like you're doing what you're
doing, and we have others, othervoices in the Catholic Church
that are really stepping up andspeaking out on these topics
(06:48):
that are so important, and asparents, we just need to be able
to do that for our kids.
And there's something else thatyou said I loved that homily
about the difference betweenbeing saved and being healed,
cause a lot of times I say, youknow, like when we stop drinking
(07:09):
, everything doesn't magicallybecome better.
So I work with women inrecovery who they don't
necessarily need help with thenot drinking part, but it's all
the other stuff that's like leftin the wake that happened when
we were drinking and that is ahealing process and that does
take time because I think a lotof times even family members or
(07:33):
friends think well, you stopdrinking, so you should be fine
now.
But that's just the beginningof a journey, a beautiful
journey, but it is.
It's a long.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
It was the windy journey, yeah it is the one
thing, if I'm ever talking tosomeone about the whole journey,
that I try to help peoplerealize always the difference
between physical and emotionalsobriety is two different.
I mean obviously intertwined,but two totally different
journeys.
You have to make both of themand and yeah, I mean for me, I
(08:10):
was.
I didn't even know the terms ofwhat to put to this experience
until later on, because I livedmy first probably five, four or
five years of sobriety, just dryright.
So I didn't know the term drydrunk, I didn't know even the
term emotional sobriety.
I had quit drinking and youknow things were starting to
(08:33):
heal just by the nature of nothaving to drink as the bandaid.
But it wasn't until I had mysecond son and I had this severe
onset of you know people callit postpartum depression.
I think, frankly, it was justthe onset of okay, your
alcoholism is coming to a front,you now need to deal with it
(08:56):
because your circumstances aretoo stressful and you can't just
be dry anymore.
You have to actually go deep.
And you know it could have beena combination of both of those
things, but it was right afterhe was born and that allowed me
to start the healing journey.
But, yeah, definitely very,very distinct aspects.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
And I'm glad that you mentioned it, because it's like
be patient with yourself, causeI think that sometimes we can
be hard on ourselves too, likewhy am I not getting this?
Why don't I feel better or why,you know, is everything still
so hard?
And it is.
It's just like we just have tobe patient with ourselves and
just work through the processand bring God into it and it is
(09:41):
possible, but it's going to taketime.
It's kind of like grief, right,grief.
You don't just like get over it, like once the funeral is over.
It's a huge, long, lifelongprocess of learning to live
differently and without thatperson.
And so you're learning to livein a very alcohol-soaked culture
(10:03):
where it's everywhere andeverybody thinks it's funny
because, well, it's not funny,it's kind of sad.
But like yesterday my 10 yearold came home and he was like
mom, I need your coin, I need totake it to school tomorrow.
I'm like what coin?
My mom had given me a 25 yearcoin on my 25th anniversary of
(10:25):
being sober, and I was likeyou're not taking that to class.
He's like no, I need to take it.
I'm like why?
And he's like because we had asubstitute and she said that she
was asking us like what we gaveup for Lent.
And we said what did you giveup for Lent?
And she said drinking alcohol.
And I was like, oh, that's areally good thing to give up.
He's like, yeah, but I saidthat you've been doing that for
(10:49):
27 years and no one believed me.
None of the kids believed me.
So I have to bring proof, oh,my goodness.
And I was like they couldn'tbelieve you.
They're 10 years old, but andit's not even I'm not even
saying that.
That's what's always happeningin their home, but it's just
what's everywhere, right, it'sin TV, it's in movies, it's.
(11:13):
They're like, of course,grownups, every grownup drinks.
Every grownup has to.
You know.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah, I mean, it would be like if someone told me
they hadn't had a cupcake in 27years.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Right, it's like, but you're lying.
I don't know how you do that sointeresting yes.
So I've heard you say that oneof the things that you try to do
is to teach parents, to teachtheir kids, that they are
unrepeatable, and I love that.
So can you explain whatunrepeatable means in the
(11:45):
context of theology of the bodyand why it is so important for
young people to understand it?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Yeah, I think that that is.
I mean, it's just so blatantlywhat they're missing in the
messaging, first of all from theculture.
So everything from TV andsocial media and airbrushed
pictures and magazines just saysthat you know, things can be
created on a whim.
So just teaching kids that theyare so valued for being the one
(12:13):
and only them.
You know we talk about it interms of like fingerprints.
We all know nobody has yoursame set of fingerprints.
But do we talk about that interms of the soul?
Nobody will ever have the soulimprint that you have on the
world, the exact combination ofall of your gifts and talents
(12:34):
and traits and desires and hopesand quirks and your sense of
humor and how it matters.
You know they have to know thatit matters.
They have to know that theymatter.
And I think within theology ofthe body.
You know a lot of people thinkthat it is only about gender and
(12:54):
sex.
That's a huge misnomer about it.
It's actually been standardizedinto teaching standards now in
the last four years or so.
There's 12 teaching standardsand only one of those has to do
with sexuality.
The other 11 are on the like,unrepeatability and sense of
gift, of personhood, of body andsoul, and it all wraps up and
(13:18):
culminates in this teaching ofvocation.
And so, you know, in themagazines especially, we break
down that vocation in terms of,yes, there's either married life
or single life, or consecratedreligious life.
But then also within your jobtoo, you don't just do a job,
some people just do a job, andmost of us are really very
(13:40):
blessed and fortunate enoughthat, if we are reading theology
of the body and we arelistening to podcasts like this,
we have the resources and thegifts that we can train a child
to look for a vocational callingthat will give them ultimate
fulfillment and purpose, notjust for themselves, but to give
that back kind of an honor toGod.
(14:01):
So helping them identify whatare the absolute gifts that you
have that maybe your brotherdoesn't have and this is not to
shame anyone in the family, butto say you have these gifts, you
, brother, you have these gifts.
And then, third, brother, youhave these gifts, look how
they're all different and we'reall part of the body of Christ,
right, and so helping themunderstand what kind of career
(14:23):
and vocation and answer to acalling that they can live out
with the rest of their life,that's very a theology of the
body.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, I'm so glad that you mentioned that, because
a lot of times when I'vethought of theology of the body
and the things that I've boughton, it have been related to,
like purity, chastity, our body.
But it's usually like that'skind of what I'm going for.
So I and I believe so stronglythat it's so important that
(14:56):
everyone know, just like youwere saying, we're like
snowflakes, not in like a badway, but like in the unique way
of, yeah, our natural talents,our experiences and everything,
plus our spiritual gifts and ourcharisms, and how that all
works together and God hascreated it and even used right
(15:17):
our experiences of straying andchoosing not the right thing to
make something so beautiful.
Because that is what promptedyou to do what you're doing and
that's what prompted me to dowhat I'm doing.
And I think that, knowing thateverybody's going to have their
(15:38):
falls, everyone's going to havetheir temptations, everyone's
going to have these things, butif they have the tools to know
like I don't have to give in anddo what the culture is telling
me that I have to do, or be whatthe culture is telling me I
have to be, that I can actuallyturn to these tools and maybe,
(15:59):
if they do fall, they'll be ableto pick themselves up a little
bit easier, because they do knowthat they're unrepeatable, that
they have purpose, that theyare worth something, that their
body is a temple of the HolySpirit, even when they're
filling it with pizza and beerand college I don't know, right.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yeah, it's so good and I think that, as I've really
acquired this language, it wasinteresting.
Earlier you mentioned therhetoric of the culture having
changed in the last 15 years orso, even just drastically.
But rhetoric is a really,really powerful tool and a lot
of people are using it for evilright now to reframe and reword
(16:41):
the way that they want topresent an agenda.
But it can also be used in theabsolute opposite, for such good
right, and I think that thebiggest gift that learning and
kind of immersing myself in justallowing theology of the body
to seep into my soul and mybeing has done for me is given
(17:01):
me a whole language, a wholerhetoric of how to approach my
family, my kids, my life, and itall revolves around the theme
of gift, gift and love, and soreally, I think, helping
children.
This is the best way.
Of course, we can look at ourkids and be like, oh, your gifts
(17:22):
, your obvious gifts, are this,this and this.
Good job, we love you andthat's what Rupert could show
and everything.
But it's taking those reallydifficult moments and saying,
okay, your behavior justexpressed this thing, which is
maybe not the best manifestationof this spiritual charism, but
(17:44):
let's look at what it would belike if this spiritual charism
manifested in a good and holyway in you and I mean, those are
big words, obviously.
Just bring it down for littlekids of saying I'll give the
example of my oldest son,because this is where the whole
teaching has really affected mepersonally the most is in this
(18:06):
area of concern and fear thatI've had for him, as I've seen
that he's so sensitive, right,and looking back at when I was
little and everybody told meYou're so sensitive, stop being
so thin-skinned.
You know why are you sosensitive?
And it was only ever pointedout as a negative thing to me,
(18:29):
and it's like it has taken methese years of learning and
healing to realize that it's oneof my greatest gifts, and
that's really sad.
That shouldn't happen at almost40.
That should happen when they'relittle, and so we talk about it
all the time.
When he's very sensitive aboutsomething all the time, we break
it down as to.
(18:50):
This is how this kind of hurtyou in this situation.
This is why this is a gift,though.
This is how you can use yoursensitivity as a gift, just a
reminder all the time.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
You know his sensitivity can help the world.
Oh, that is so good.
That is so good because I wouldnever think of it like that,
like I've done so much study oncharisms and spiritual gifts and
I've never thought of it thatway, like this is why you're
responding this way.
But what if you use it for this?
(19:23):
That's so good.
Thank you for sharing that.
I also just want to say thankyou because you had said that
you saw this need within yourfamily.
You wanted to create thiswithin your family and then you
were like, well, I need to sharethis with the world.
So thank you for that.
(19:44):
Yes, because you could have justkept it with your family and
your you know, three boys andyour husband and maybe shared it
with some friends.
Yeah, but I just appreciateyour drive to do that because I
feel, like you know, because weboth are we like are into
spiritual gifts and charisms andknowing them and the importance
(20:05):
of that.
But one of the biggest thingswith charisms is how they're not
for us there to be shared andfor us to use them to work
together, just like we're bothdoing now.
Like you have your charisms, Ihave my charisms and you have
your mission and ministry and Ihave mine, and yet they can
(20:25):
still come together and help andreach more Christians and build
up the kingdom of God for Hisglory Right and hopefully raise
up that next generation.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, I would say to that.
You know, if anybody becauseyou nailed it when you said
thank you for your yes, itwasn't like my idea.
Yeah, it was definitely an ideafrom the Holy Spirit and it was
an opportunity to just say yesto it and to go along with it.
And so I would say two thingsto people.
(21:01):
One, if you are feeling anykind of prompting, anything that
you feel like you should sayyes or maybe yes, do it.
Whatever that is got to put onyour heart what to do next,
maybe it's just send an email toso and so, and then that'll get
the ball rolling in thedirection of the way that you're
(21:23):
being called.
And then I would say also don'tdespair and don't be
discouraged if you're notfeeling an invitation, because
now might not be your time.
So for me, I you know I gotsober and I was dry.
I was doing a lot of things totry to experiment with sharing
the faith, but my soul it wasn'tready yet and God knew that,
(21:46):
but I didn't know that.
So I would I remember being atthe time on Instagram and
looking at the kind of like thekey.
You know Catholic women,influencers of our generation
Sarah Swofford, jackie Francois,like these cute moms and they
had kids and they were out andthey were dead.
They were out and they weredoing stuff and I was like Lord,
(22:09):
what about me?
I want to, I want to and I feltso jealous and I had to.
I had to get off Instagram andyou know, it was one of those I
really had to trust and it waspainful because I wanted to be
used and and, and he wasn'tready for me because I wasn't
ready, my soul wasn't ready.
(22:30):
I just trust that.
Trust that.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, his timing is perfect.
And that's the same.
I so identified with that, likeeven all those names I've ever
just been like I wish that Icould do something like that and
make a difference.
And you know, you see theirimpact and you see how many
lives that they're able to touch, and it's like I know.
But I think that's that desirethat God places on our heart.
(22:58):
And so he's like, not now butsoon, but you have that on your
heart and who knows how longthey had it on their heart
before they got to where theyare, because you never see, like
that lead up to just see whothey are now.
And that was something I had toreally come to terms with and
understand, because, like you, Iwas like, well, I'm never going
(23:18):
to be able to do what they'redoing, I'm never going to have
that kind of an impact.
But it was realizing I'll havethe impact that God wants me to
have.
And I just have to get out ofmy head and just start doing
right, because if we don't do,and we're paralyzed by the fear
or we're paralyzed by thinkingI'm never going to be so and so
(23:43):
you're not going to be so and soYou're going to be you, but as
long as you keep giving God youryes, then He'll use you in the
way that he intends to.
That could be small, that couldjust be within your parish or
your community or your diocese.
It could be bigger, it justdepends.
(24:04):
But we just have to keep givingHim our yes.
I always think of.
There's a Mother Angelica quote.
That's like I won't even say it, right, but it's something like
I'm not afraid to die, but I'mafraid of getting to heaven and
God saying but look, what youcould have done if you had been
obedient or if you had done whatI asked.
And she's like that's what I'mafraid of is not being able to
(24:27):
do that, everything that Godintends for me to do.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Yeah, and like all good things, it can lead to this
sense of overwhelm if we don'tenter that with prayer and heal
Right.
So even that stirred in my heartall the things I want to do,
more of that.
I don't have the time to do itall, and so all of this stirring
(24:55):
the stirring, especially inthis area, to be sober for the
Lord as a woman in a Catholichome, especially in the region
where we live, the devil doesn'twant that to happen, so the
things that will be used totempt us away from that will be
(25:16):
things like hearing a quote likethat and going oh yeah, that's
right, I want to do more thanwhat I'm doing.
No, it's like a constant battle,you know, constantly being told
that we need to do more.
In fact, I take great pride inlooking at my phone frequently
and saying what can I get rid of?
That's good, that's my newestthing.
(25:38):
I was like what apps can I getrid of?
What habits can I get rid of?
What can I take off thecalendar?
What's the least we can do?
Because there is one great PopeFrancis quote that I love and
it's something I don't know ifI'll get it quite right, but he
says don't be afraid of wastingtime with your kids, never be
afraid of wasting time with yourkids.
(25:59):
Quote unquote.
Wasting yeah, just what a gift,you know if we could.
Of course, like mother Angelica, we want to answer all the
callings and do all the things,but what if the calling is to
lay around with your kid afterschool for an hour and not do
anything?
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yeah, Right, and that's the seasons, too, that
we're in, because when I washaving all those stirrings and
promptings and wanting to do allthese things, really that was
my time.
There's like those hidden years, you know, when you're with
your kids so you can only do somuch.
Now all my kids are in schooland you know I have more time,
(26:39):
but, yeah, you don't want towaste that time worried about
needing to do something great.
You're doing something greatjust by being their mom and
being present, because that'sreally our first priority before
doing the other stuff, becausethere'll always be time for that
(27:00):
later.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, there, my previous guest, paige Ryan.
She said something that I thathas stuck with me, and it
relates to drinking, scrolling,any of those things that just
take our attention and distractus.
Like you were saying, the devilwants nothing more than that to
distract us from our families,distract us from our motherhood,
(27:24):
distract us from God.
That's what she said, somethingthat she had read or seen or
heard.
That was like you, if you checkout like that, then you are
going to miss something that youare supposed to see, that you
are supposed to hear and thatyou are supposed to do.
And I think of that.
I've been thinking of that eversince she said that and so,
(27:47):
like you, it's like well, if I'mjust playing this game on my
phone or if I'm just scrollingInstagram, or you know, and my
10 year old comes up to like,say something to me and I don't
give him my full attention, Imight miss you know what, what I
really needed to hear from himat that moment what he needed to
(28:07):
tell me and the reaction heneeded from me.
So I think being just having notbeing down on ourselves about
it, but just having thatawareness like, oh yeah, maybe
I'm not gonna do that next timeor you know, yeah, you know, I'm
a big fan of one, just onething at a time.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Just take one of those distractions at a time and
cut it off right.
So because we can get a lot ofthings back right.
We live in a culture where wecan go to the store and kind of
get back if we toss something.
But I'm kind of in the stagewhere my youngest is now five
(28:49):
and I started doing sometraining again and my trainer is
very big into the mental andthe mindset, like none of it
really matters if we're notdoing it for the right reasons,
which is the first time that'sreally started to shift my brain
.
So anyway, with that I'vestarted just getting rid of
(29:12):
these distractions and thesecrutches.
So, you know, I think alcoholfor some people can become an
addiction just because of thenature of culture and society
and we drink a lot, and thenit's a problem For most people
it's because it's a crutch, it'sbecause it's a, it's a band-aid
(29:33):
and it helps us cope in a way.
You know where we wereuncomfortable before.
And so with that gone, I found,oh my gosh, I'm still.
Oh, I still have a lot ofcrutches.
I still have crutches and so I,you know, years ago I started
with Instagram so it wasn't onmy phone and then it wasn't, and
then I got rid of it completelyand then I don't miss it at all
(29:56):
.
But then I was going on theinternet to look at whatever the
news, which is awful.
I don't know why.
You know I told my sister I canbe in bed and scroll the news
for an hour at night and justread murder story after murder
story, and she's like, well,that sounds awful.
At least when I'm on theinternet for an hour I come out
(30:16):
with a great handbag.
But you know you wouldn't thinkyou could and I might have to
add it back as my kids get olderand into more things.
You know, there's still in thatsweet spot.
But I just took the internetoff my phone three months ago
and I can do pretty mucheverything.
If I get a link I'm interestedin, I look it up later that day
on my computer, but 90% of themaren't that interesting later.
(30:40):
You know what I mean and so,yeah, so I I'm a big fan of just
saying what's one thing I cantry to get rid of.
Just track yeah, and don't say,oh, I think I'm gonna go on my
Instagram less, or I think I'mgonna go on the internet less to
check that news.
Just take it off your phone.
And for me it was, you know,some sleep aids.
(31:00):
I really wanted to get goodsleep.
Alcohol used to help me sleep.
I would take benadryl.
Well, that's not great for meand so I just threw it out.
Then I would take melatoninlike I don't need that, probably
, but I'm scared to not havesomething to help me feel the
way I want to feel.
That's still there.
Mm-hmm, I threw it out.
(31:22):
You know I could go to a storeand get it.
I just think.
I think probably any womanlistening to this has 50
distractions vying for her timeand or crutches, and she has
those children around her, maybe, and or other things of value
and importance, and she has thisfeeling, maybe, of guilt.
(31:43):
And there's no room for guilt.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Right, don't have guilt, but just get rid of the
crap yeah, it's about movingforward, right, just doing
better in the next day.
You know every day is a new day, so just don't worry about what
happened yesterday, and that'ssomething I really work on with
my clients like, yeah, not notthe best choice, but you know
(32:06):
there's nothing you can do aboutit now.
So let's learn from it and moveforward and develop a plan for
moving forward.
If it's a distractionespecially when they quit
drinking, because a lot of timesthey don't want to take it out
of their house, but becausethey're like, well, what if I
want to have it later, or myhusband wants it later I'm like
that's fine, but if you canremove it for a time, then it
(32:26):
won't be that crutch like youwere saying, just to reach for
it.
It makes it a lot harder if youactually have to go to the
store to get it or you know.
So just make it a little harderon yourself.
Sometimes I'll do that withapps, like I'll take it off my
phone, or I'll have it on myphone but I'll hide it, so it's
not like on my screen when Ifirst open up my phone, so then
(32:49):
it just takes more time to getto it.
So, yeah, little tricks likethat and I love that you said
one thing at a time, like youdon't have to just do it all at
once, because that'soverwhelming and then you feel
deprived.
And then one other thing Iwould say to that is, when you
do that, really pay attention towhat you're gaining from not
(33:09):
having it there, because youknow you'll see people that do
like I don't know, dry Januaryor they decided they're not
gonna drink for lint and they'llbe like in the corner at a
party and they'll look all madand like sad and then and then
and it's like okay, all they'rethinking about is what they gave
up.
(33:30):
That's all they're thinkingabout.
They're not thinking about thefact that they're not gonna be
hung over the next morning, thatthey're not gonna over drink
and be silly, but they're not.
You know.
They're not thinking about allthe stuff they're gaining,
they're just mad.
And I was there so I knowexactly what that is, because I
would do that to my friends.
I would go to the bar and notdrink and just glare at everyone
(33:53):
.
Oh no, and it was not enjoyable.
But now I go and to things andI'm so like fine about it.
Yeah, even in early recovery Iwas fine about it because I
realized I am not having to dealwith all the stuff that I had
to deal with before from a nightof drinking.
So just keep track of it,whether you write it down or
(34:16):
just mentally think aboutrecognizing oh, I played a game
with my kids, we played twogames, or I read a book or
whatever it is, we went on awalk, just things that maybe you
wouldn't normally do because ofthe distraction, and then
(34:37):
that'll help not feel thatdeprivation.
That is natural.
We're human.
We're gonna feel that.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
I love that part of the act of contrition to avoid
what leads me to sin, and sothat's probably my favorite part
.
And I think good advice forpeople who are in that mad and
sad stage is to don't go tothings that are bothersome.
(35:04):
Your soul is so precious andit's so attacked from every
which direction.
If your spiritual growth is ina place where you know that
being in a certain environmentis going to challenge that in a
way that you may not have thestrength for, just don't go
there.
Don't go there.
Or same with the bar if that isupsetting to you.
(35:26):
Like right now, I don't wanna goto a bar because I like to go
to bed at 7.30.
Right, that's not, but for aperiod, yeah, I had the sober
experience where I could bethere and when we go to events,
I actually really like for otherpeople around me to be able to
drink because they loosen up andthey relax.
And I mean, I don't like thatfor them if I have a sense that
(35:50):
they have an addiction and thatit's feeding their problem.
But for people who are quote,you know normies, who can go out
and have a drink or two, and ithelps them relax and enjoy the
evening.
I enjoy that for them and ithelps me relax, and I'm around
people that I know are relaxed.
But you have to read the room,know the environment, know the
(36:13):
state of your soul, even knowthe time of your cycle.
It's different for me.
I will want to go out andinteract at different times of
the month, and that's theologyof the body too, you know, and I
try to teach, like my boys, mypoor boys, or I should say
they're lucky wives to be theyare learning things about the
(36:34):
female cycle and the anatomy andlike how it's not just the body
, the soul, the person goesthrough these changes and what
the purpose is.
That's just such an amazingpart of what we teach is like
the purpose and the design ofthe whole anatomy and the egg
and what happens at the start ofa life, when you see it.
(36:58):
Coming back to what we talkedabout earlier in the themes of
gift and love, it's no longer apolitical debate about.
You know the state oflegislation around life issues.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
When you say if they know theology of the body, the
teaching of theology of the bodyand everything that that
encompasses, I mean it leaveszero room for debate on any of
the other stuff, because it'sscience, it's our nature and
then also, like you said, oursouls, that are so unique and
(37:34):
beautiful and unrepeatable.
So how do you approach teachingthe parents about the person
and then how do they in turnconvey that to their children?
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Yeah, so our organization we have used the
term school really loosely, moremetaphorically, just to
represent a group of us parentswho want to help provide
education to other parents, butwe are essentially headquartered
mostly in the same place, andthen we have other national
support and we have cometogether to create materials
(38:10):
that we can sell online toparents anywhere, and we don't
have really direct interactionwith the parents unless they
reach out to us with questionsor anything.
Instead, what they would do isorder the materials that we've
created because they've beencreated and curated so carefully
with the parent in mind, andthen they are available in all
(38:35):
the different age groups.
So let's say a parent, it has a12 year old and a five year old
, and they're like I've got tostart teaching this stuff to my
kids.
All they have to do is get aset of TOB monthly middles,
which would be cover the agegroup, the middle school age
group, the 12 year old and thenTOB monthly kids technically
(38:56):
starts at about age five, andthen they just open that up with
their kids and it's really it'slike a mini magazine, so it's
technically eight pages with afront and back cover, so it's
each issue is six pages ofcontent.
So you can take one issue aweek, or one issue a month if
(39:17):
you want to do more of a deepdive and review concepts a
couple of times, and there'sthese eight issues that come.
So the eight issues reflectthose 12 standards that I told
you about earlier.
We just happened to group acouple of them together, but
they're very directly related tothese very well approved
(39:38):
Christian anthropology standardsthat are based on the theology
of the body, and each set ofstandards is a theme and each
theme has a little magazine.
And I mean six pages is not?
It's not much.
It's like a scholastic styleleaflet.
It's a really very, very simple.
(39:58):
So a parent does not need to beoverwhelmed and they can, and I
would suggest that they previewthem before they dive into it
with their kids.
But they can just also open itup and just start going, just
start going through it page bypage with the child.
And then the other thing toknow about it is that the all of
(40:19):
the themes are lined up witheach other amongst the different
age groups.
So like, let's say, you want toget the set of eight but you
want to go straight to issuenumber three, which deals with
gender, because your child has aclassmate that is bringing home
questions about gender ideology.
So you might choose to get thesets for all of the different
(40:42):
ages that your children are andopen up to issue three.
And if you open up to issuethree in kids and middles and
teens, it's all gonna be thesame content about gender.
It's just different.
It's age appropriate, so youmight choose to have your five
year old step away from thetable for some of it.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that's good to know, causeI was wondering about that
because I have teenagers and whoI would like to.
I mean, we've talked about this.
Obviously they're 16, so theyhave a pretty good understanding
, but I don't know that we'vereally talked theology of the
body, and so I was wondering ifthey would have to have the
(41:23):
middle and the high school ones.
But it sounds like it's justthe same material, just for
their age group, so like we havea 10 year old and then the 16
year old, so they would have thetwo different Versions, right?
What are the age groupingsactually?
I should ask you that.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Exactly what you said .
Yeah, and then.
So the age groupings it'slittles is from ages two to five
, and then kids six to nine,middles is ten to thirteen,
teens is fourteen to eighteenand campus is nineteen to
twenty-two.
And the way that you justsuggested it is exactly how I
(42:02):
would do it.
You can also, it's you knowsome people who are brand new to
it, or maybe they're a nativeSpanish speaker.
We do have Spanish translationscoming, but they're not
available yet.
They might choose to get ayounger version and just start
more simply.
So you can always start youngerand then build up If you, you
know, for a family that maybe isbrand new to these concepts and
(42:25):
they don't want to dive rightinto the high school.
The high school stuff is prettymature, right, and it'll cover
the topic and the concepts.
But if you want to break downto just what the concept is, if
you get littles, it's rightthere, pictures and you know ten
words on the page.
It's very easy.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Now, do you just, do you do anything like for schools
or faith formation, like things, or is it just for parents?
Speaker 2 (42:52):
So our materials are available to schools, parishes,
faith formation groups,homeschool groups.
We have a bulk rate Right now.
People just have to email toget that process going soon.
All of that information will beon our website and a number of
different people across thecountry have ordered for their
(43:14):
schools and or parishes, and I'mnot certain how they're all
choosing to use it and implementit.
My suggestion is always thatthey open it up and they
introduce it in the school orthe parish and then they send it
home with the parent and thenthey, if they care enough, they
can ask for some kind ofreinforcement that they've done
(43:35):
it at home.
There is a certain point wherewe have to say we've done what
we can and it's in the hands ofthe people that we're giving it
to.
But I do think that a lot ofthings get passed home to
parents and get thrown outbecause it is so overwhelming
the paper trail that comes homeas a parent.
So I don't think it's a badidea for a school or a parish to
(43:57):
say this is really important.
This is different than some ofthe other things that may come
home to you.
We would like you to sign thatyou've done it.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
That's good to know, because I think it would be so
nice, because it's theology ofthe body, which is just so
beautiful.
It's so beautiful when you knowit, and I don't even know it as
much as I wish that I did.
And so I am going to get someof those magazines because I
(44:26):
think it will be really reallygood, especially for the ages
that our kids are at.
And I love that you even havethat added age group of the
college kids, because collegeyoung adults, because they
really still need that too.
They need it, yes, yeah, andsometimes they get forgotten,
especially when you look aroundparishes.
(44:47):
There's just not a lot ofthings at least around here
there's not a lot of things forthat age group.
So to have something, aresource like this that's geared
towards them, I think is reallyreally good.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Yeah, and the hope there is that anybody who works
in a campus ministry or knowssomeone who does that's
listening.
I think any campus ministerwould be thrilled to know about
this resource and just buy itand have it in their lobby, in
their lounge.
And that's affordable becauseas kids come in through the
lounge area or a Newman Centerthey can reread the same set.
(45:25):
You don't have to pay thousands.
I just would love for everycampus ministry and every Newman
Center to order at least a fewsets.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Yeah, yeah, that's a great idea.
And, yeah, just leave themaround, because they'll get
curious and they'll pick them upand read them, because there's
so much of the other stuffeverywhere in their face.
They're on Instagram, youtube,anywhere.
I mean, it's just likebombarding with all these
messages.
So the more that we can putsolid resources like this in
(46:00):
front of them, all the better.
And the fact that it's like amagazine, it's actually like a
tangible thing.
I'll link, because I said mykids links and I don't ever know
if they look at them.
True.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Well, we are working on getting a digital version.
This has an option too, becauseI feel like everybody out there
is split half and half.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
They prefer digital and yeah, yeah, I'm old school,
so I'm like I love the paper andespecially as a parent like
going through it with your kid.
It's with your children.
It's really nice to have that.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
I absolutely hands down, recommend the paper
version of this.
The digital is just because forpeople, where it just really
works better for them, but upuntil well, actually even up
through the campus, there isroom for them to kind of respond
and journal and write somethings.
And that's really a bigcomponent of the kids the kids
(47:02):
especially, and then Middles andteens a little bit where they
can interact with the materialand they're prompted to draw or
color or write something tointeract.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
So then do you need a set, do you think, for each
child?
Speaker 2 (47:19):
I typically would recommend a set for each child.
It can become cost prohibitive,Prohibitive.
Every family just has to dowhat they have to do.
And if you can afford to get akid their own set and you really
think you're going to use it, Ithink that it's entirely worth
the investment.
I liken it a lot to what we arewilling to spend on sports for
(47:42):
kids, what we are willing tospend on birthday parties for
kids and what we are willing tospend on pets.
Right, yes, if you were to lookat any of those three categories
and actually look at yournumbers, then, even though it's
$28 a set for your kids and youhave five kids and that sounds
(48:02):
crazy, the other things that Ijust mentioned are crazier.
This is the state of their souland if you can make room in
your budget, look at it as aninvestment for sure.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Well, and by investing in it, not only are
you investing in your family andyour children, which is first
and foremost so important, butit's also investing in your
mission and just being part ofhelping you get this in the
hands of more people andcontinue it and grow it so that
more parents and educators canhave access to it.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
Yeah, amen.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Yes, we're still in the baby stages of marketing.
We've been so focused oncontent creation because we got
our cycle A done and out and weearned the imprimatur from
Archbishop's sample on it.
So it is solid and it's outthere and we're working on B
because we really really wantcycle B done, before I dive into
(49:05):
all the other things likemarketing, fundraising, swag
stickers, all the fun stuff,yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
That's good.
You've got to lay thefoundation and then you can
start building it with all theother stuff.
So I mean, and just being onpodcasts and getting the word
out, I heard you on local radiohere and so that was great, and
so I know that that probablyreached had to have reached a
lot of parents who needed tohear that as well.
(49:35):
So thank you for just beingwilling to share everything.
Share all your information,your education, your insights
and everything that you'veshared here today, and just your
willingness to be so open aboutyour alcohol use and your
(49:55):
recovery.
And congratulations on 12 yearsalso.
Thanks.
So now go ahead.
I'll just go ahead and give youthe floor one more time, if
there is, if you want to letpeople know where they can find
you, how they can sign up for orget these magazines, and if
anything else that you want topromote, you have the floor.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
Okay, thanks.
Our website istobparentschoolorg and you can
do everything there you canorder the magazines, you can
inquire about book orders andyou can make donations.
We are a 501c3, so we'reregistered, nonprofit tax
deductible and we're entirelyvolunteer led and really, like I
(50:39):
said, needing to grow, and so,as I look to marketing and
fundraising, it's exciting, butthere's no budget for that yet.
So any help, obviously, is muchappreciated.
And then I'd say the only otherthing that I would mention is
that one of the things that wesupport is people who want to
(51:00):
build a community of like-mindedparents around them, to study
this kind of stuff, maybe someadult theology of the body books
and help equip them and feelstrengthened in their ability to
talk to their kids.
We help people set up localcommunities.
So you know, I think you cansee on our website all the
(51:22):
locations, and they're acrossthe country.
There's about eight of themright now.
So, coast to coast Atlanta,boston, new York, california and
Portland, so just wherever thespirit is leading.
If you're hearing this andyou're like, oh, I want to do
that, you just reach out to us.
And it's always a beautifulthing because it pulls new
people into this story and it'sgreat.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
Yeah, and it's so nice to have support and, like
you said, other like-mindedindividuals and parents working
together to do that.
So that is amazing.
I didn't even know you did that.
So that's just another hugeblessing that is going to help
connect other Catholic parentsand just get them to be able to
(52:07):
help their kids and the worldright, because that's what it's
going to eventually do.
So, yeah, well, thank you somuch again, lindsay, for being
here.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
Thank you so much.
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (52:22):
Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic
sobriety podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
it with a friend who might alsoget value from it as well, and
make sure you subscribe so youdon't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic sobrietycoach, and if you would like to
(52:43):
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,thecatholicsobrietycoachcom.
Follow me on Instagram attheCatholic sobriety coach.
I look forward to speaking toyou next time and remember I am
(53:04):
here for you, I am praying foryou.
You are not alone.
Welcome to the Catholic Subriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives, women who are
looking to drink less or not atall for any reason.
I am your host, christy Walker.
I'm a wife, mom and a JoyfieldCatholic and I am the Catholic
(00:23):
Subriety Coach and I am so gladyou're here.
I don't know about you, but Ilook around the world today and
I just think that if people knewjust how precious they are in
the eyes of God, just how lovedthey are, and how he equips us
(00:47):
and he loves us and he poursinto us, I just really feel like
our world would be a betterplace.
And as Catholic parents, wejust want to do that for our
kids.
We want to give them thatbecause they're not going to
find that in the world.
And my guest today, lindsayKaren, is doing just that.
(01:08):
She is the founder and directorof Theology of the Body Parent
School, which is committed toeducating and empowering parents
on the purpose and gift ofpersonhood.
Welcome, lindsay, I'm so gladto have you here today.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm really excited to behere and especially to be able
to talk about just what youmentioned, like the gifts of our
children.
It's just so more important nowthan it ever has been in our
culture.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Oh amen, yes, I agree .
So to get started, Lindsay,could you please share just a
bit about your personal journey,maybe your family life, and how
it led you to establish thetheology of the body parent
school?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, well, I'm a mom of.
I have three boys who are five,seven and ten, and I grew up in
like a stable Catholic home butit was not one that really
talked about feelings very much.
We didn't talk about theologyof the body.
It was coming to exist but itwasn't known and the teachings
(02:20):
of it that you're a dignifiedand precious human being.
Those weren't really part ofthe language of my home, or many
homes I think, when I grew upand so I went off to college and
, like a lot of people, I gotlost pretty quickly and I had
not been that firmly rooted inmy identity and my and the gift
(02:40):
of myself.
So I went seeking for that inall the wrong places, looking,
and you know, sure enough, ifyou're looking it's there right,
and I just ended up fillingmyself with all the wrong things
.
I just tried to fill that voidand tell myself that message
that I was loved and I was goodenough and just turned to the
culture and turned to drinkingand hooking up and the whole
(03:04):
scene of college, california,san Francisco and then, 10 years
later, I was fully addicted toalcohol and had really just seen
my life kind of crumble aroundme and I was really, really
desperate.
So, by a miracle, I becamesober.
I had tried on my own many,many times over that decade, not
(03:27):
been able to do it, and I, justthrough prayer, I woke up one
day and was able to stay sober,which I've been for 12 years.
So that started the journey forme of healing, and there's a
homily that one of the prieststhat I know gave one time, and
he said that there's adifference between being saved
(03:49):
and he being healed.
And so he likened somebody outin the forest who had had a
terrible accident, had fallendown, was alone, had broken legs
and was thinking they weregoing to die.
And then they saw thehelicopter come and they heard
the noise of the helicopter andthey realized that they were
about to be saved.
However, for them to becomehealed was going to take a lot
(04:11):
longer, right?
So that I say that moment 12years ago was when I was saved
from the culture and from thepath that I was on, and that the
healing was going to take a lotlonger.
And so I'm still on thathealing journey probably will be
for life, but part of thatjourney led me to theology of
the body, to discover what mygift and purpose was in life.
(04:33):
And then it became reallyacutely a focus for me when I
had my kids and just recognizingwhat was going on in the
culture, all of the lies thatwere even worse now than when I
grew up, and what my kids weregoing to face and seeing their
little personalities emerge andseeing my oldest, who had a
personality much like my, very,very sensitive, and I just I
(04:55):
remember just looking at himwhen he was little, thinking, oh
, the world's going to devourhim, like what can I tell him,
what can I teach him, what can Iequip him with?
And theology, the body, becamethe answer.
So really, it started with thisdesire to be able to pass
something really solid onto mykids that I didn't have growing
(05:15):
up and then it quickly turnedinto Well, if I am going to do
this for my own kids, you knowthe whole world needs it, so I
might as well put it in a formatwhere I can then share it with
other people.
And it started small like can Ishare this with my friend group
?
Can I share this with my localcommunity, somehow?
And then the idea was just bornof this magazine format that we
(05:37):
have created and we're actuallynow able to share it with the
world, which is just trulyamazing.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah, that is amazing .
I hear so much of myself inyour story, so I just I am so
grateful to you for sharing that.
I'm a mom of three boys too,and I love that, and I identify
so strongly with that desire towant to equip them, not shield
(06:04):
them, but just to prepare themfor what they are going to face.
And I really realized thatdesire more as they've gotten
older and the more that I'velearned about you know what's
out there.
And, of course, even betweenthe time that my twins were
little to now they're almost 17,the world has changed, the
(06:28):
rhetoric has changed in such adramatic way that it's like, oh
my gosh, I have to even up mygame even more.
So it's such a blessing that,like you're doing what you're
doing, and we have others, othervoices in the Catholic Church
that are really stepping up andspeaking out on these topics
(06:48):
that are so important, and asparents, we just need to be able
to do that for our kids.
And there's something else thatyou said I loved that homily
about the difference betweenbeing saved and being healed,
cause a lot of times I say, youknow, like when we stop drinking
(07:09):
, everything doesn't magicallybecome better.
So I work with women inrecovery who they don't
necessarily need help with thenot drinking part, but it's all
the other stuff that's like leftin the wake that happened when
we were drinking and that is ahealing process and that does
take time because I think a lotof times even family members or
(07:33):
friends think well, you stopdrinking, so you should be fine
now.
But that's just the beginningof a journey, a beautiful
journey, but it is.
It's a long.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
It was the windy journey, yeah it is the one
thing, if I'm ever talking tosomeone about the whole journey,
that I try to help peoplerealize always the difference
between physical and emotionalsobriety is two different.
I mean obviously intertwined,but two totally different
journeys.
You have to make both of themand and yeah, I mean for me, I
(08:10):
was.
I didn't even know the terms ofwhat to put to this experience
until later on, because I livedmy first probably five, four or
five years of sobriety, just dryright.
So I didn't know the term drydrunk, I didn't know even the
term emotional sobriety.
I had quit drinking and youknow things were starting to
(08:33):
heal just by the nature of nothaving to drink as the bandaid.
But it wasn't until I had mysecond son and I had this severe
onset of you know people callit postpartum depression.
I think, frankly, it was justthe onset of okay, your
alcoholism is coming to a front,you now need to deal with it
(08:56):
because your circumstances aretoo stressful and you can't just
be dry anymore.
You have to actually go deep.
And you know it could have beena combination of both of those
things, but it was right afterhe was born and that allowed me
to start the healing journey.
But, yeah, definitely very,very distinct aspects.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
And I'm glad that you mentioned it, because it's like
be patient with yourself, causeI think that sometimes we can
be hard on ourselves too, likewhy am I not getting this?
Why don't I feel better or why,you know, is everything still
so hard?
And it is.
It's just like we just have tobe patient with ourselves and
just work through the processand bring God into it and it is
(09:41):
possible, but it's going to taketime.
It's kind of like grief, right,grief.
You don't just like get over it, like once the funeral is over.
It's a huge, long, lifelongprocess of learning to live
differently and without thatperson.
And so you're learning to livein a very alcohol-soaked culture
(10:03):
where it's everywhere andeverybody thinks it's funny
because, well, it's not funny,it's kind of sad.
But like yesterday my 10 yearold came home and he was like
mom, I need your coin, I need totake it to school tomorrow.
I'm like what coin?
My mom had given me a 25 yearcoin on my 25th anniversary of
(10:25):
being sober, and I was likeyou're not taking that to class.
He's like no, I need to take it.
I'm like why?
And he's like because we had asubstitute and she said that she
was asking us like what we gaveup for Lent.
And we said what did you giveup for Lent?
And she said drinking alcohol.
And I was like, oh, that's areally good thing to give up.
He's like, yeah, but I saidthat you've been doing that for
(10:49):
27 years and no one believed me.
None of the kids believed me.
So I have to bring proof, oh,my goodness.
And I was like they couldn'tbelieve you.
They're 10 years old, but andit's not even I'm not even
saying that.
That's what's always happeningin their home, but it's just
what's everywhere, right, it'sin TV, it's in movies, it's.
(11:13):
They're like, of course,grownups, every grownup drinks.
Every grownup has to.
You know.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah, I mean, it would be like if someone told me
they hadn't had a cupcake in 27years.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Right, it's like, but you're lying.
I don't know how you do that sointeresting yes.
So I've heard you say that oneof the things that you try to do
is to teach parents, to teachtheir kids, that they are
unrepeatable, and I love that.
So can you explain whatunrepeatable means in the
(11:45):
context of theology of the bodyand why it is so important for
young people to understand it?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Yeah, I think that that is.
I mean, it's just so blatantlywhat they're missing in the
messaging, first of all from theculture.
So everything from TV andsocial media and airbrushed
pictures and magazines just saysthat you know, things can be
created on a whim.
So just teaching kids that theyare so valued for being the one
(12:13):
and only them.
You know we talk about it interms of like fingerprints.
We all know nobody has yoursame set of fingerprints.
But do we talk about that interms of the soul?
Nobody will ever have the soulimprint that you have on the
world, the exact combination ofall of your gifts and talents
(12:34):
and traits and desires and hopesand quirks and your sense of
humor and how it matters.
You know they have to know thatit matters.
They have to know that theymatter.
And I think within theology ofthe body.
You know a lot of people thinkthat it is only about gender and
(12:54):
sex.
That's a huge misnomer about it.
It's actually been standardizedinto teaching standards now in
the last four years or so.
There's 12 teaching standardsand only one of those has to do
with sexuality.
The other 11 are on the like,unrepeatability and sense of
gift, of personhood, of body andsoul, and it all wraps up and
(13:18):
culminates in this teaching ofvocation.
And so, you know, in themagazines especially, we break
down that vocation in terms of,yes, there's either married life
or single life, or consecratedreligious life.
But then also within your jobtoo, you don't just do a job,
some people just do a job, andmost of us are really very
(13:40):
blessed and fortunate enoughthat, if we are reading theology
of the body and we arelistening to podcasts like this,
we have the resources and thegifts that we can train a child
to look for a vocational callingthat will give them ultimate
fulfillment and purpose, notjust for themselves, but to give
that back kind of an honor toGod.
(14:01):
So helping them identify whatare the absolute gifts that you
have that maybe your brotherdoesn't have and this is not to
shame anyone in the family, butto say you have these gifts, you
, brother, you have these gifts.
And then, third, brother, youhave these gifts, look how
they're all different and we'reall part of the body of Christ,
right, and so helping themunderstand what kind of career
(14:23):
and vocation and answer to acalling that they can live out
with the rest of their life,that's very a theology of the
body.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, I'm so glad that you mentioned that, because
a lot of times when I'vethought of theology of the body
and the things that I've boughton, it have been related to,
like purity, chastity, our body.
But it's usually like that'skind of what I'm going for.
So I and I believe so stronglythat it's so important that
(14:56):
everyone know, just like youwere saying, we're like
snowflakes, not in like a badway, but like in the unique way
of, yeah, our natural talents,our experiences and everything,
plus our spiritual gifts and ourcharisms, and how that all
works together and God hascreated it and even used right
(15:17):
our experiences of straying andchoosing not the right thing to
make something so beautiful.
Because that is what promptedyou to do what you're doing and
that's what prompted me to dowhat I'm doing.
And I think that, knowing thateverybody's going to have their
(15:38):
falls, everyone's going to havetheir temptations, everyone's
going to have these things, butif they have the tools to know
like I don't have to give in anddo what the culture is telling
me that I have to do, or be whatthe culture is telling me I
have to be, that I can actuallyturn to these tools and maybe,
(15:59):
if they do fall, they'll be ableto pick themselves up a little
bit easier, because they do knowthat they're unrepeatable, that
they have purpose, that theyare worth something, that their
body is a temple of the HolySpirit, even when they're
filling it with pizza and beerand college I don't know, right.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yeah, it's so good and I think that, as I've really
acquired this language, it wasinteresting.
Earlier you mentioned therhetoric of the culture having
changed in the last 15 years orso, even just drastically.
But rhetoric is a really,really powerful tool and a lot
of people are using it for evilright now to reframe and reword
(16:41):
the way that they want topresent an agenda.
But it can also be used in theabsolute opposite, for such good
right, and I think that thebiggest gift that learning and
kind of immersing myself in justallowing theology of the body
to seep into my soul and mybeing has done for me is given
(17:01):
me a whole language, a wholerhetoric of how to approach my
family, my kids, my life, and itall revolves around the theme
of gift, gift and love, and soreally, I think, helping
children.
This is the best way.
Of course, we can look at ourkids and be like, oh, your gifts
(17:22):
, your obvious gifts, are this,this and this.
Good job, we love you andthat's what Rupert could show
and everything.
But it's taking those reallydifficult moments and saying,
okay, your behavior justexpressed this thing, which is
maybe not the best manifestationof this spiritual charism, but
(17:44):
let's look at what it would belike if this spiritual charism
manifested in a good and holyway in you and I mean, those are
big words, obviously.
Just bring it down for littlekids of saying I'll give the
example of my oldest son,because this is where the whole
teaching has really affected mepersonally the most is in this
(18:06):
area of concern and fear thatI've had for him, as I've seen
that he's so sensitive, right,and looking back at when I was
little and everybody told meYou're so sensitive, stop being
so thin-skinned.
You know why are you sosensitive?
And it was only ever pointedout as a negative thing to me,
(18:29):
and it's like it has taken methese years of learning and
healing to realize that it's oneof my greatest gifts, and
that's really sad.
That shouldn't happen at almost40.
That should happen when they'relittle, and so we talk about it
all the time.
When he's very sensitive aboutsomething all the time, we break
it down as to.
(18:50):
This is how this kind of hurtyou in this situation.
This is why this is a gift,though.
This is how you can use yoursensitivity as a gift, just a
reminder all the time.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
You know his sensitivity can help the world.
Oh, that is so good.
That is so good because I wouldnever think of it like that,
like I've done so much study oncharisms and spiritual gifts and
I've never thought of it thatway, like this is why you're
responding this way.
But what if you use it for this?
(19:23):
That's so good.
Thank you for sharing that.
I also just want to say thankyou because you had said that
you saw this need within yourfamily.
You wanted to create thiswithin your family and then you
were like, well, I need to sharethis with the world.
So thank you for that.
(19:44):
Yes, because you could have justkept it with your family and
your you know, three boys andyour husband and maybe shared it
with some friends.
Yeah, but I just appreciateyour drive to do that because I
feel, like you know, because weboth are we like are into
spiritual gifts and charisms andknowing them and the importance
(20:05):
of that.
But one of the biggest thingswith charisms is how they're not
for us there to be shared andfor us to use them to work
together, just like we're bothdoing now.
Like you have your charisms, Ihave my charisms and you have
your mission and ministry and Ihave mine, and yet they can
(20:25):
still come together and help andreach more Christians and build
up the kingdom of God for Hisglory Right and hopefully raise
up that next generation.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, I would say to that.
You know, if anybody becauseyou nailed it when you said
thank you for your yes, itwasn't like my idea.
Yeah, it was definitely an ideafrom the Holy Spirit and it was
an opportunity to just say yesto it and to go along with it.
And so I would say two thingsto people.
(21:01):
One, if you are feeling anykind of prompting, anything that
you feel like you should sayyes or maybe yes, do it.
Whatever that is got to put onyour heart what to do next,
maybe it's just send an email toso and so, and then that'll get
the ball rolling in thedirection of the way that you're
(21:23):
being called.
And then I would say also don'tdespair and don't be
discouraged if you're notfeeling an invitation, because
now might not be your time.
So for me, I you know I gotsober and I was dry.
I was doing a lot of things totry to experiment with sharing
the faith, but my soul it wasn'tready yet and God knew that,
(21:46):
but I didn't know that.
So I would I remember being atthe time on Instagram and
looking at the kind of like thekey.
You know Catholic women,influencers of our generation
Sarah Swofford, jackie Francois,like these cute moms and they
had kids and they were out andthey were dead.
They were out and they weredoing stuff and I was like Lord,
(22:09):
what about me?
I want to, I want to and I feltso jealous and I had to.
I had to get off Instagram andyou know, it was one of those I
really had to trust and it waspainful because I wanted to be
used and and, and he wasn'tready for me because I wasn't
ready, my soul wasn't ready.
(22:30):
I just trust that.
Trust that.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, his timing is perfect.
And that's the same.
I so identified with that, likeeven all those names I've ever
just been like I wish that Icould do something like that and
make a difference.
And you know, you see theirimpact and you see how many
lives that they're able to touch, and it's like I know.
But I think that's that desirethat God places on our heart.
(22:58):
And so he's like, not now butsoon, but you have that on your
heart and who knows how longthey had it on their heart
before they got to where theyare, because you never see, like
that lead up to just see whothey are now.
And that was something I had toreally come to terms with and
understand, because, like you, Iwas like, well, I'm never going
(23:18):
to be able to do what they'redoing, I'm never going to have
that kind of an impact.
But it was realizing I'll havethe impact that God wants me to
have.
And I just have to get out ofmy head and just start doing
right, because if we don't do,and we're paralyzed by the fear
or we're paralyzed by thinkingI'm never going to be so and so
(23:43):
you're not going to be so and soYou're going to be you, but as
long as you keep giving God youryes, then He'll use you in the
way that he intends to.
That could be small, that couldjust be within your parish or
your community or your diocese.
It could be bigger, it justdepends.
(24:04):
But we just have to keep givingHim our yes.
I always think of.
There's a Mother Angelica quote.
That's like I won't even say it, right, but it's something like
I'm not afraid to die, but I'mafraid of getting to heaven and
God saying but look, what youcould have done if you had been
obedient or if you had done whatI asked.
And she's like that's what I'mafraid of is not being able to
(24:27):
do that, everything that Godintends for me to do.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Yeah, and like all good things, it can lead to this
sense of overwhelm if we don'tenter that with prayer and heal
Right.
So even that stirred in my heartall the things I want to do,
more of that.
I don't have the time to do itall, and so all of this stirring
(24:55):
the stirring, especially inthis area, to be sober for the
Lord as a woman in a Catholichome, especially in the region
where we live, the devil doesn'twant that to happen, so the
things that will be used totempt us away from that will be
(25:16):
things like hearing a quote likethat and going oh yeah, that's
right, I want to do more thanwhat I'm doing.
No, it's like a constant battle,you know, constantly being told
that we need to do more.
In fact, I take great pride inlooking at my phone frequently
and saying what can I get rid of?
That's good, that's my newestthing.
(25:38):
I was like what apps can I getrid of?
What habits can I get rid of?
What can I take off thecalendar?
What's the least we can do?
Because there is one great PopeFrancis quote that I love and
it's something I don't know ifI'll get it quite right, but he
says don't be afraid of wastingtime with your kids, never be
afraid of wasting time with yourkids.
(25:59):
Quote unquote.
Wasting yeah, just what a gift,you know if we could.
Of course, like mother Angelica, we want to answer all the
callings and do all the things,but what if the calling is to
lay around with your kid afterschool for an hour and not do
anything?
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yeah, Right, and that's the seasons, too, that
we're in, because when I washaving all those stirrings and
promptings and wanting to do allthese things, really that was
my time.
There's like those hidden years, you know, when you're with
your kids so you can only do somuch.
Now all my kids are in schooland you know I have more time,
(26:39):
but, yeah, you don't want towaste that time worried about
needing to do something great.
You're doing something greatjust by being their mom and
being present, because that'sreally our first priority before
doing the other stuff, becausethere'll always be time for that
(27:00):
later.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, there, my previous guest, paige Ryan.
She said something that I thathas stuck with me, and it
relates to drinking, scrolling,any of those things that just
take our attention and distractus.
Like you were saying, the devilwants nothing more than that to
distract us from our families,distract us from our motherhood,
(27:24):
distract us from God.
That's what she said, somethingthat she had read or seen or
heard.
That was like you, if you checkout like that, then you are
going to miss something that youare supposed to see, that you
are supposed to hear and thatyou are supposed to do.
And I think of that.
I've been thinking of that eversince she said that and so,
(27:47):
like you, it's like well, if I'mjust playing this game on my
phone or if I'm just scrollingInstagram, or you know, and my
10 year old comes up to like,say something to me and I don't
give him my full attention, Imight miss you know what, what I
really needed to hear from himat that moment what he needed to
(28:07):
tell me and the reaction heneeded from me.
So I think being just having notbeing down on ourselves about
it, but just having thatawareness like, oh yeah, maybe
I'm not gonna do that next timeor you know, yeah, you know, I'm
a big fan of one, just onething at a time.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Just take one of those distractions at a time and
cut it off right.
So because we can get a lot ofthings back right.
We live in a culture where wecan go to the store and kind of
get back if we toss something.
But I'm kind of in the stagewhere my youngest is now five
(28:49):
and I started doing sometraining again and my trainer is
very big into the mental andthe mindset, like none of it
really matters if we're notdoing it for the right reasons,
which is the first time that'sreally started to shift my brain
.
So anyway, with that I'vestarted just getting rid of
(29:12):
these distractions and thesecrutches.
So, you know, I think alcoholfor some people can become an
addiction just because of thenature of culture and society
and we drink a lot, and thenit's a problem For most people
it's because it's a crutch, it'sbecause it's a, it's a band-aid
(29:33):
and it helps us cope in a way.
You know where we wereuncomfortable before.
And so with that gone, I found,oh my gosh, I'm still.
Oh, I still have a lot ofcrutches.
I still have crutches and so I,you know, years ago I started
with Instagram so it wasn't onmy phone and then it wasn't, and
then I got rid of it completelyand then I don't miss it at all
(29:56):
.
But then I was going on theinternet to look at whatever the
news, which is awful.
I don't know why.
You know I told my sister I canbe in bed and scroll the news
for an hour at night and justread murder story after murder
story, and she's like, well,that sounds awful.
At least when I'm on theinternet for an hour I come out
(30:16):
with a great handbag.
But you know you wouldn't thinkyou could and I might have to
add it back as my kids get olderand into more things.
You know, there's still in thatsweet spot.
But I just took the internetoff my phone three months ago
and I can do pretty mucheverything.
If I get a link I'm interestedin, I look it up later that day
on my computer, but 90% of themaren't that interesting later.
(30:40):
You know what I mean and so,yeah, so I I'm a big fan of just
saying what's one thing I cantry to get rid of.
Just track yeah, and don't say,oh, I think I'm gonna go on my
Instagram less, or I think I'mgonna go on the internet less to
check that news.
Just take it off your phone.
And for me it was, you know,some sleep aids.
(31:00):
I really wanted to get goodsleep.
Alcohol used to help me sleep.
I would take benadryl.
Well, that's not great for meand so I just threw it out.
Then I would take melatoninlike I don't need that, probably
, but I'm scared to not havesomething to help me feel the
way I want to feel.
That's still there.
Mm-hmm, I threw it out.
(31:22):
You know I could go to a storeand get it.
I just think.
I think probably any womanlistening to this has 50
distractions vying for her timeand or crutches, and she has
those children around her, maybe, and or other things of value
and importance, and she has thisfeeling, maybe, of guilt.
(31:43):
And there's no room for guilt.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Right, don't have guilt, but just get rid of the
crap yeah, it's about movingforward, right, just doing
better in the next day.
You know every day is a new day, so just don't worry about what
happened yesterday, and that'ssomething I really work on with
my clients like, yeah, not notthe best choice, but you know
(32:06):
there's nothing you can do aboutit now.
So let's learn from it and moveforward and develop a plan for
moving forward.
If it's a distractionespecially when they quit
drinking, because a lot of timesthey don't want to take it out
of their house, but becausethey're like, well, what if I
want to have it later, or myhusband wants it later I'm like
that's fine, but if you canremove it for a time, then it
(32:26):
won't be that crutch like youwere saying, just to reach for
it.
It makes it a lot harder if youactually have to go to the
store to get it or you know.
So just make it a little harderon yourself.
Sometimes I'll do that withapps, like I'll take it off my
phone, or I'll have it on myphone but I'll hide it, so it's
not like on my screen when Ifirst open up my phone, so then
(32:49):
it just takes more time to getto it.
So, yeah, little tricks likethat and I love that you said
one thing at a time, like youdon't have to just do it all at
once, because that'soverwhelming and then you feel
deprived.
And then one other thing Iwould say to that is, when you
do that, really pay attention towhat you're gaining from not
(33:09):
having it there, because youknow you'll see people that do
like I don't know, dry Januaryor they decided they're not
gonna drink for lint and they'llbe like in the corner at a
party and they'll look all madand like sad and then and then
and it's like okay, all they'rethinking about is what they gave
up.
(33:30):
That's all they're thinkingabout.
They're not thinking about thefact that they're not gonna be
hung over the next morning, thatthey're not gonna over drink
and be silly, but they're not.
You know.
They're not thinking about allthe stuff they're gaining,
they're just mad.
And I was there so I knowexactly what that is, because I
would do that to my friends.
I would go to the bar and notdrink and just glare at everyone
(33:53):
.
Oh no, and it was not enjoyable.
But now I go and to things andI'm so like fine about it.
Yeah, even in early recovery Iwas fine about it because I
realized I am not having to dealwith all the stuff that I had
to deal with before from a nightof drinking.
So just keep track of it,whether you write it down or
(34:16):
just mentally think aboutrecognizing oh, I played a game
with my kids, we played twogames, or I read a book or
whatever it is, we went on awalk, just things that maybe you
wouldn't normally do because ofthe distraction, and then
(34:37):
that'll help not feel thatdeprivation.
That is natural.
We're human.
We're gonna feel that.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
I love that part of the act of contrition to avoid
what leads me to sin, and sothat's probably my favorite part
.
And I think good advice forpeople who are in that mad and
sad stage is to don't go tothings that are bothersome.
(35:04):
Your soul is so precious andit's so attacked from every
which direction.
If your spiritual growth is ina place where you know that
being in a certain environmentis going to challenge that in a
way that you may not have thestrength for, just don't go
there.
Don't go there.
Or same with the bar if that isupsetting to you.
(35:26):
Like right now, I don't wanna goto a bar because I like to go
to bed at 7.30.
Right, that's not, but for aperiod, yeah, I had the sober
experience where I could bethere and when we go to events,
I actually really like for otherpeople around me to be able to
drink because they loosen up andthey relax.
And I mean, I don't like thatfor them if I have a sense that
(35:50):
they have an addiction and thatit's feeding their problem.
But for people who are quote,you know normies, who can go out
and have a drink or two, and ithelps them relax and enjoy the
evening.
I enjoy that for them and ithelps me relax, and I'm around
people that I know are relaxed.
But you have to read the room,know the environment, know the
(36:13):
state of your soul, even knowthe time of your cycle.
It's different for me.
I will want to go out andinteract at different times of
the month, and that's theologyof the body too, you know, and I
try to teach, like my boys, mypoor boys, or I should say
they're lucky wives to be theyare learning things about the
(36:34):
female cycle and the anatomy andlike how it's not just the body
, the soul, the person goesthrough these changes and what
the purpose is.
That's just such an amazingpart of what we teach is like
the purpose and the design ofthe whole anatomy and the egg
and what happens at the start ofa life, when you see it.
(36:58):
Coming back to what we talkedabout earlier in the themes of
gift and love, it's no longer apolitical debate about.
You know the state oflegislation around life issues.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
When you say if they know theology of the body, the
teaching of theology of the bodyand everything that that
encompasses, I mean it leaveszero room for debate on any of
the other stuff, because it'sscience, it's our nature and
then also, like you said, oursouls, that are so unique and
(37:34):
beautiful and unrepeatable.
So how do you approach teachingthe parents about the person
and then how do they in turnconvey that to their children?
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Yeah, so our organization we have used the
term school really loosely, moremetaphorically, just to
represent a group of us parentswho want to help provide
education to other parents, butwe are essentially headquartered
mostly in the same place, andthen we have other national
support and we have cometogether to create materials
(38:10):
that we can sell online toparents anywhere, and we don't
have really direct interactionwith the parents unless they
reach out to us with questionsor anything.
Instead, what they would do isorder the materials that we've
created because they've beencreated and curated so carefully
with the parent in mind, andthen they are available in all
(38:35):
the different age groups.
So let's say a parent, it has a12 year old and a five year old
, and they're like I've got tostart teaching this stuff to my
kids.
All they have to do is get aset of TOB monthly middles,
which would be cover the agegroup, the middle school age
group, the 12 year old and thenTOB monthly kids technically
(38:56):
starts at about age five, andthen they just open that up with
their kids and it's really it'slike a mini magazine, so it's
technically eight pages with afront and back cover, so it's
each issue is six pages ofcontent.
So you can take one issue aweek, or one issue a month if
(39:17):
you want to do more of a deepdive and review concepts a
couple of times, and there'sthese eight issues that come.
So the eight issues reflectthose 12 standards that I told
you about earlier.
We just happened to group acouple of them together, but
they're very directly related tothese very well approved
(39:38):
Christian anthropology standardsthat are based on the theology
of the body, and each set ofstandards is a theme and each
theme has a little magazine.
And I mean six pages is not?
It's not much.
It's like a scholastic styleleaflet.
It's a really very, very simple.
(39:58):
So a parent does not need to beoverwhelmed and they can, and I
would suggest that they previewthem before they dive into it
with their kids.
But they can just also open itup and just start going, just
start going through it page bypage with the child.
And then the other thing toknow about it is that the all of
(40:19):
the themes are lined up witheach other amongst the different
age groups.
So like, let's say, you want toget the set of eight but you
want to go straight to issuenumber three, which deals with
gender, because your child has aclassmate that is bringing home
questions about gender ideology.
So you might choose to get thesets for all of the different
(40:42):
ages that your children are andopen up to issue three.
And if you open up to issuethree in kids and middles and
teens, it's all gonna be thesame content about gender.
It's just different.
It's age appropriate, so youmight choose to have your five
year old step away from thetable for some of it.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that's good to know, causeI was wondering about that
because I have teenagers and whoI would like to.
I mean, we've talked about this.
Obviously they're 16, so theyhave a pretty good understanding
, but I don't know that we'vereally talked theology of the
body, and so I was wondering ifthey would have to have the
(41:23):
middle and the high school ones.
But it sounds like it's justthe same material, just for
their age group, so like we havea 10 year old and then the 16
year old, so they would have thetwo different Versions, right?
What are the age groupingsactually?
I should ask you that.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Exactly what you said .
Yeah, and then.
So the age groupings it'slittles is from ages two to five
, and then kids six to nine,middles is ten to thirteen,
teens is fourteen to eighteenand campus is nineteen to
twenty-two.
And the way that you justsuggested it is exactly how I
(42:02):
would do it.
You can also, it's you knowsome people who are brand new to
it, or maybe they're a nativeSpanish speaker.
We do have Spanish translationscoming, but they're not
available yet.
They might choose to get ayounger version and just start
more simply.
So you can always start youngerand then build up If you, you
know, for a family that maybe isbrand new to these concepts and
(42:25):
they don't want to dive rightinto the high school.
The high school stuff is prettymature, right, and it'll cover
the topic and the concepts.
But if you want to break downto just what the concept is, if
you get littles, it's rightthere, pictures and you know ten
words on the page.
It's very easy.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Now, do you just, do you do anything like for schools
or faith formation, like things, or is it just for parents?
Speaker 2 (42:52):
So our materials are available to schools, parishes,
faith formation groups,homeschool groups.
We have a bulk rate Right now.
People just have to email toget that process going soon.
All of that information will beon our website and a number of
different people across thecountry have ordered for their
(43:14):
schools and or parishes, and I'mnot certain how they're all
choosing to use it and implementit.
My suggestion is always thatthey open it up and they
introduce it in the school orthe parish and then they send it
home with the parent and thenthey, if they care enough, they
can ask for some kind ofreinforcement that they've done
(43:35):
it at home.
There is a certain point wherewe have to say we've done what
we can and it's in the hands ofthe people that we're giving it
to.
But I do think that a lot ofthings get passed home to
parents and get thrown outbecause it is so overwhelming
the paper trail that comes homeas a parent.
So I don't think it's a badidea for a school or a parish to
(43:57):
say this is really important.
This is different than some ofthe other things that may come
home to you.
We would like you to sign thatyou've done it.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
That's good to know, because I think it would be so
nice, because it's theology ofthe body, which is just so
beautiful.
It's so beautiful when you knowit, and I don't even know it as
much as I wish that I did.
And so I am going to get someof those magazines because I
(44:26):
think it will be really reallygood, especially for the ages
that our kids are at.
And I love that you even havethat added age group of the
college kids, because collegeyoung adults, because they
really still need that too.
They need it, yes, yeah, andsometimes they get forgotten,
especially when you look aroundparishes.
(44:47):
There's just not a lot ofthings at least around here
there's not a lot of things forthat age group.
So to have something, aresource like this that's geared
towards them, I think is reallyreally good.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Yeah, and the hope there is that anybody who works
in a campus ministry or knowssomeone who does that's
listening.
I think any campus ministerwould be thrilled to know about
this resource and just buy itand have it in their lobby, in
their lounge.
And that's affordable becauseas kids come in through the
lounge area or a Newman Centerthey can reread the same set.
(45:25):
You don't have to pay thousands.
I just would love for everycampus ministry and every Newman
Center to order at least a fewsets.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Yeah, yeah, that's a great idea.
And, yeah, just leave themaround, because they'll get
curious and they'll pick them upand read them, because there's
so much of the other stuffeverywhere in their face.
They're on Instagram, youtube,anywhere.
I mean, it's just likebombarding with all these
messages.
So the more that we can putsolid resources like this in
(46:00):
front of them, all the better.
And the fact that it's like amagazine, it's actually like a
tangible thing.
I'll link, because I said mykids links and I don't ever know
if they look at them.
True.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Well, we are working on getting a digital version.
This has an option too, becauseI feel like everybody out there
is split half and half.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
They prefer digital and yeah, yeah, I'm old school,
so I'm like I love the paper andespecially as a parent like
going through it with your kid.
It's with your children.
It's really nice to have that.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
I absolutely hands down, recommend the paper
version of this.
The digital is just because forpeople, where it just really
works better for them, but upuntil well, actually even up
through the campus, there isroom for them to kind of respond
and journal and write somethings.
And that's really a bigcomponent of the kids the kids
(47:02):
especially, and then Middles andteens a little bit where they
can interact with the materialand they're prompted to draw or
color or write something tointeract.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
So then do you need a set, do you think, for each
child?
Speaker 2 (47:19):
I typically would recommend a set for each child.
It can become cost prohibitive,Prohibitive.
Every family just has to dowhat they have to do.
And if you can afford to get akid their own set and you really
think you're going to use it, Ithink that it's entirely worth
the investment.
I liken it a lot to what we arewilling to spend on sports for
(47:42):
kids, what we are willing tospend on birthday parties for
kids and what we are willing tospend on pets.
Right, yes, if you were to lookat any of those three categories
and actually look at yournumbers, then, even though it's
$28 a set for your kids and youhave five kids and that sounds
(48:02):
crazy, the other things that Ijust mentioned are crazier.
This is the state of their souland if you can make room in
your budget, look at it as aninvestment for sure.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Well, and by investing in it, not only are
you investing in your family andyour children, which is first
and foremost so important, butit's also investing in your
mission and just being part ofhelping you get this in the
hands of more people andcontinue it and grow it so that
more parents and educators canhave access to it.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
Yeah, amen.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Yes, we're still in the baby stages of marketing.
We've been so focused oncontent creation because we got
our cycle A done and out and weearned the imprimatur from
Archbishop's sample on it.
So it is solid and it's outthere and we're working on B
because we really really wantcycle B done, before I dive into
(49:05):
all the other things likemarketing, fundraising, swag
stickers, all the fun stuff,yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
That's good.
You've got to lay thefoundation and then you can
start building it with all theother stuff.
So I mean, and just being onpodcasts and getting the word
out, I heard you on local radiohere and so that was great, and
so I know that that probablyreached had to have reached a
lot of parents who needed tohear that as well.
(49:35):
So thank you for just beingwilling to share everything.
Share all your information,your education, your insights
and everything that you'veshared here today, and just your
willingness to be so open aboutyour alcohol use and your
(49:55):
recovery.
And congratulations on 12 yearsalso.
Thanks.
So now go ahead.
I'll just go ahead and give youthe floor one more time, if
there is, if you want to letpeople know where they can find
you, how they can sign up for orget these magazines, and if
anything else that you want topromote, you have the floor.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
Okay, thanks.
Our website istobparentschoolorg and you can
do everything there you canorder the magazines, you can
inquire about book orders andyou can make donations.
We are a 501c3, so we'reregistered, nonprofit tax
deductible and we're entirelyvolunteer led and really, like I
(50:39):
said, needing to grow, and so,as I look to marketing and
fundraising, it's exciting, butthere's no budget for that yet.
So any help, obviously, is muchappreciated.
And then I'd say the only otherthing that I would mention is
that one of the things that wesupport is people who want to
(51:00):
build a community of like-mindedparents around them, to study
this kind of stuff, maybe someadult theology of the body books
and help equip them and feelstrengthened in their ability to
talk to their kids.
We help people set up localcommunities.
So you know, I think you cansee on our website all the
(51:22):
locations, and they're acrossthe country.
There's about eight of themright now.
So, coast to coast Atlanta,boston, new York, california and
Portland, so just wherever thespirit is leading.
If you're hearing this andyou're like, oh, I want to do
that, you just reach out to us.
And it's always a beautifulthing because it pulls new
people into this story and it'sgreat.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
Yeah, and it's so nice to have support and, like
you said, other like-mindedindividuals and parents working
together to do that.
So that is amazing.
I didn't even know you did that.
So that's just another hugeblessing that is going to help
connect other Catholic parentsand just get them to be able to
(52:07):
help their kids and the worldright, because that's what it's
going to eventually do.
So, yeah, well, thank you somuch again, lindsay, for being
here.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
Thank you so much.
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (52:22):
Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic
sobriety podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
it with a friend who might alsoget value from it as well, and
make sure you subscribe so youdon't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic sobrietycoach, and if you would like to
(52:43):
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,thecatholicsobrietycoachcom.
Follow me on Instagram attheCatholic sobriety coach.
I look forward to speaking toyou next time and remember I am
(53:04):
here for you, I am praying foryou.
You are not alone.
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