Ep147: When You Want That Glass of Wine at 5 P.M. — Here’s What’s Actually Happening - The Catholic Sobriety Podcast

Episode Transcript
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SPEA (00:40):
SPEAKER_00
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives.
Women who are looking to drinkless or not at all for any
reason.
I am your host, Christy Walker.
I'm a wife, mom, and ajoy-filled Catholic.

(01:01):
And I am the Catholic sobrietycoach.
And I am so glad you're here.
Okay, tell me if this soundsfamiliar.
It's 4 58 p.m.
The day is starting to come toan end, but the to-do list
isn't.
And someone just yelled from theother room asking, What's for

(01:24):
dinner?
You've been on all day, makingdecisions, solving problems,
keeping the house running,holding everyone else's
emotions.
And suddenly your body isbegging for one thing: relief.
That little voice whispers, youdeserve a glass of wine.

(01:45):
And if you've promised yourselfnot tonight, but then you found
yourself pouring just oneanyway, only to promise again
tomorrow.
I just want you to know you'renot alone.
5 p.m.
is what I call the danger zone,but not in a dramatic way or a
Kenny Loggins kind of way.

(02:06):
It's simply the hour when yourbrain and your body start
craving comfort the most.
Something real is happening withyour physiology.
And once you understand it, youcan let go of the shame and you
can stop fighting yourself andstart working with your brain

(02:27):
and with grace to rewrite thatstory.
Sugar, scrolling, snacking, samewiring, different flavor.
So today we're unpacking what'sactually happening inside your

(02:51):
brain during that temptationhour and how to rewire your
evenings without whiteknuckling, shame, or tomorrow
I'll do better pep talks.
Okay, let's get into it.
So why does 5 p.m.
feel like such a battle?
Well, the first thing you needto know is that there's nothing

(03:12):
wrong with you.
Around late afternoon, everyoneexperiences a natural dopamine
dip.
Dopamine is your motivation,your reward chemical.
It's what gives you that littleat a girl feeling when you cross
something off your to-do list orfinish a task.
By 5 p.m., you've been givingall day, making meals, making

(03:37):
money, making peace betweenchildren, and your brain's just
saying, hey, we need somethingthat feels good right now.
And because your brain is super,super smart, but a little lazy,
it doesn't brainstorm new ideas.
It just remembers what workedlast time.
And that's where habits comefrom.

(03:58):
So if wine has been your eveningreset, then your brain remembers
wine equals relief.
Now, if like me, you've beenalcohol free for a long time,
your brain still runs that oldcode sometimes.
For me, the craving shows up assugar or doom scrolling or

(04:18):
wanting coffee at four o'clockin the afternoon.
It's the same craving, justdressed in different clothes.
Now, Dr.
Andrew Huberman calls this thelimbic takeover when the
emotional reward-seeking part ofyour brain hijacks your logical
side.
You're not weak.

(04:39):
You're human.
Isn't that the best news?
Your brain is just doing exactlywhat it was wired to do to
search for comfort.
And here's some more good news.
What feels like a weakness isactually an opportunity because
you can retrain that brain.
All right, let's talk about howthe habit loop hooks you.

(05:03):
Every repetitive behavior youdo, good or bad, runs on a loop.
You'll have a cue, a craving, aresponse, and a reward.
So a cue is something thattriggers you.
Maybe the clock hits five, maybeyour spouse pours a drink, maybe

(05:23):
you feel lonely or overwhelmedor unappreciated.
And then there's the craving.
Your brain saying, Hey sis, weneed some relief.
And then your response is thatyou pour, sip, scroll, or snack.
And then there's the reward.

(05:43):
Just a dopamine surge.
The reward is dopamine.
And if you're doing somethinglike scrolling or snacking or
getting sugar, you're gonna geta little spike or surge of
dopamine.
But if you consume alcohol, youare going to get a ginormous
firework dopamine spike, whichI'm sorry to say is short-lived.

(06:09):
And that's part of the reasonthat you keep chasing that buzz
all evening long.
But with it, it does bring briefcalm.
Unfortunately, it can then bringguilt, fatigue, or anxiety.
And here's what makes it tricky.
The brain doesn't judge thereward, it just wants that quick

(06:30):
relief feeling.
But the more we follow thatloop, the deeper the grooves
become.
Thankfully, your brain isplastic.
Well, not literally plastic.
It's neuroplasticity, whichmeans your brain can change.
And every time you pause insteadof pouring or pray instead of

(06:51):
grabbing, you are literallyrewiring those neural pathways.
Romans 12, 2 wasn't just poetic,it's actually neuroscience in
action.
Be transformed by the renewal ofyour mind.
You are renewing your mind andyour wiring when you interrupt
that loop.
So the goal isn't to fight thecraving, the goal is to redirect

(07:15):
it.
Now let's talk about faithmeeting neuroscience.
This is where things get reallybeautiful because God designed
our brains to adapt and heal.
He knew we would need grace inthose gray areas, those moments
when we're just not doing great,but we're still really trying.

(07:45):
It's the moment that you get tosay, Okay, Lord, my brain wants
comfort, but my heart wantspeace.
Help me choose you.
You don't have to shame thecraving or hide from it.
You just need to retrain it.
So how do we do that?
How do we retrain the brain andrestore peace at the same time?

(08:10):
Well, just like with anything,any new habit or anything that
we take on, we have to startsmall.
We start practical and we startwith five little steps that will
help you rewire your eveningsand retrain your brain.
You're gonna name it, changeyour cue, move your body,

(08:33):
replace the reward, and laugh alittle.
Okay, let's walk through thefive tools for rewiring the 5
p.m.
spike.
First, you're gonna name it.
The second you feel the urgehit, say it out loud.
This is my 5 p.m.
spike.
Naming what's happening movesyou out of emotion and into

(08:55):
observation.
You're no longer in the craving,you're noticing it, and that's
powerful.
When you name it, you shift fromshame, from what's wrong with me
to awareness.
Ah, my dopamine dip is here.
You can even add a little humor.
Hello there, dopamine dip.
I was wondering when you wouldshow up.

(09:18):
That one small line disarms theentire moment.
You've already interrupted theloop.
Alright, let's talk aboutchanging your cue because cues
are sneaky little things.
If your kitchen has become theplace your brain associates with
pouring wine, then friend, weneed to give that space a new

(09:40):
assignment.
When you are prepping dinnerinstead of reaching for the
corkscrew, grab your prettiestglass and fill it with sparkling
water or iced tea.
Because let's be real, theglassware was never the problem.
If it's the sound that triggersyou, the pop of the cork, the

(10:02):
clink of the glass, replace thatsound cue.
Turn on worship music, put onyour favorite playlist or
podcast.
I know women who light a candlearound 5 p.m.
as a physical reminder thatpeace is entering this space
now, even inviting the HolySpirit in.

(10:23):
Maybe it's not even the kitchenthough.
Maybe it's walking in from work,seeing your spouse pour a drink,
or just that first quiet momentwhen you finally stop running.
That's when I want you to shakethings up.
Move your body, step outside onyour porch for a couple minutes,
breathe deeply, stretch, changethe environment so your body

(10:45):
realizes we're not starting winehour, we're starting peace hour.
I call this confusing thecraving.
Your craving expects one thing.
You surprise it with another.
Sometimes I'll literally say outloud, okay, Lord, new rhythm
here.
Help me find you instead of thesugar.

(11:08):
You're not running away from thecraving.
You're retraining your brain.
And every time you change thecue, you strengthen that new
peaceful pathway.
The third tool is to move yourbody.
Movement is medicine,physically, emotionally, and
spiritually.
When you move, even gently, yourbrain releases endorphins that

(11:33):
calm anxiety and lower stresshormones.
So when the 5 p.m.
spike hits, try this.
Walk outside, do 10 squats whilewaiting for the pasta to boil,
turn on a worship song and dancewith your kids like it's in
1999.
They'll totally roll their eyes,but I've convinced myself they

(11:53):
secretly love it.
The goal isn't exercise, it'senergy shift.
You're telling your brain we'renot stuck, we're moving forward,
and you'll feel the differencealmost immediately.
And then the fourth tool is toreplace the reward.
Your brain doesn't actuallycrave alcohol, it craves the

(12:15):
feeling alcohol gives yourelief, connection, and comfort.
So instead of trying to removethe reward, replace it.
Maybe that's a mock tail ritualwith fresh lime and mint.
Maybe it's sitting outside witha devotional.
Maybe it's texting a friendinstead of pouring a drink.

(12:36):
Give your brain a new story.
One of my favorite neurosciencefacts from Dr.
Anna Lemke of Dopamine Nation isthat discipline and joy are
actually linked.
Every time you delaygratification in favor of
alignment, you build a deepersense of happiness.

(12:56):
So when you say no to the drink,you're not depriving yourself.
You're training joy.
And speaking of joy, my fifthtool is to laugh a little.
Seriously, humor heals.
When you feel that tensionbuilding, find a way to lighten
it up.
Watch a funny reel, but don'tscroll too long.

(13:18):
Call a friend who makes youlaugh, or just laugh at the
absurdity of it all.
Sometimes I tell my cravings,nice try, but I've already
brushed my teeth.
And if all else fails, toastyour sparkling water and say,
cheers to adulting one more daywithout losing my peace.
Because laughter releasesdopamine too.
It's your body's God-designedguilt-free reward system.

(13:41):
If you can laugh, you canbreathe.
If you can breathe, you canchoose.
And if you can choose, you'realready winning.
Now, even after nearly 30 yearswithout alcohol, my 5 p.m.
spike still visits sometimes.
These days, it just wearsdifferent clothes.
Cookies, Instagram, just onemore thing before bed.

(14:02):
But now instead of fear, I feelawareness.
I know that craving is just mybrain's way of saying, we're
tired and we want to feel okay.
So I ask myself, what do youactually need?
Because you don't need that.
And then I smile and take abreath and remind myself, we

(14:23):
don't need to escape at thismoment.
We need to invite God into it.
That shift from avoidance toinvitation is where freedom is.
You don't have to fight yourcravings forever.
You just have to learn to seethem as signals instead of
shame.
And friend, you can do this one5 p.m.

(14:43):
at a time.
If today's episode gave you hopeor made you smile at your own 5
p.m.
madness, come and join us insidethe Sacred Sobriety Lab.
We're practicing new eveningrhythms that restore peace, joy,
and connection.
You'll find faith-basedcoaching, community, and women
who get it, because freedomreally does feel better than

(15:06):
relief.
To learn more, go to SacredSobriety Lab.com.
Keep choosing peace overpressure one evening at a time.
Well, that does it for thisepisode of the Catholic Sobriety
Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
it with a friend who might alsoget value from it as well.

(15:29):
And make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic SobrietyCoach, and if you would like to
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,the Catholic Sobriety Coach.

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Ep147: When You Want That Glass of Wine at 5 P.M. — Here’s What’s Actually Happening

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