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February 23, 2024 20 mins

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Join me in celebrating a significant milestone - 27 years of sobriety. In this episode, we delve into the transformative lessons that have shaped my journey to clarity and fulfillment. We'll discuss the importance of gratitude, owning our choices, and the power of discipline. We'll also explore the strength in seeking support and the continuous self-improvement that comes with sobriety.

In the second segment, we'll navigate life's many facets, emphasizing the role of spirituality and community. I'll share how my faith has anchored and harmonized all aspects of my life. Remember, you're not alone in your struggles; God's love is a constant beacon. As your Catholic sobriety coach, I invite those seeking sobriety or guidance to join me on this journey, fortified by faith, fellowship, and the courage to seek balance in all life areas. Let's embark on this path together.


I'm here for you. I'm praying for you. You are NOT alone!

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Catholic Subriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives, women who are
looking to drink less or not atall for any reason.
I am your host, kristy Walker.
I'm a wife, mom and a JoyfieldCatholic, and I am the Catholic

(00:24):
Subriety Coach, and I am so gladyou're here.
Today marks 27 years ofsobriety for me and in honor of
that, I want to share with you27 things that I have learned in
sobriety in all of these 27years that have been given to me

(00:49):
by the grace of God.
So with that, my first lessonthat I've learned, or thing that
I've learned, is that allthings are possible with God.
When I stepped into the roomsof AA, I told the people there
that I was only there by thegrace of God, that if I had to

(01:13):
get there on my own power Iwould not be there, but because
God was with me, carrying me allalong, I was in those rooms and
I meant it then and I mean itnow.
God is so good and without himI would not be here today.
I don't know what would havehappened to me had I not found

(01:35):
sobriety.
The second thing is to practicegratitude.
I realized once I got soberthat it wasn't just about
stopping drinking.
There was a whole healingjourney that I had to go on.
Quitting drinking for me wasthe thing that I had to do.
It was causing too much chaosin my life.

(01:58):
I was not able to drink likequote unquote normies.
I definitely could nevermoderate and I knew that I would
have to cut it out of my lifeforever.
That didn't mean that I wasn'tselfish.
Still, it didn't mean that Ididn't have all of these other
disordered attachments, and soit has been a long journey to

(02:21):
break free of those.
I'm still working on some,because I am human and the world
we live in is just filled withso many different trappings and
temptations.
But I find when I focus ongratitude, when I focus on the
good, no matter how small, itmultiplies the positivity in my
life, it breeds humility and itproduces such good fruit.

(02:46):
The third thing is to takeownership.
I had to stop blaming otherpeople, situations and things.
At some point I had to beaccountable for my own actions
and my own life and my ownjourney, and that was a huge
step toward freedom, when I wasable to forgive, to let go of

(03:12):
resentments.
That's where true freedom wasfound.
Number four discipline iscrucial.
So staying sober requires a lotof discipline and that's
whether you are just trying todrink less or not at all it does

(03:32):
require a certain level ofcommitment and discipline.
Fifth live in the present.
Subriety means being fullypresent in the moment.
When I was numbing myself,checking out with alcohol or
talking to myself reallynegatively, I wasn't being open

(03:55):
to all the things around me thatI was supposed to see, hear,
feel or do.
Alcohol kept me stuck and thenegativity that I had just come
to know and incorporate into mylife, the drama it was also
holding me back.
So I had to learn to live inthe present.

(04:21):
Number six is to ask for help.
I am terrible at asking forhelp because for so long I was
just so bogged down byself-reliance.
I can do it by myself.
I have to do it by myself.
It is within me to figure thisout Now, definitely there.

(04:42):
You know we have been equippedby God to do things that you
know he's asked us to do.
He empowers us with ourspiritual graces and our gifts
and our natural talents and allof those things, so it's not
like we're just helpless infantsthat can't do anything.

(05:02):
However, I know that I can't doanything without God, so I need
to ask for help, first andforemost from him, but I also
need to be willing to ask herfor help from other people, like
I don't have to do everythingby myself.
Other people have gifts andcharisms that can help me

(05:24):
because I don't have the samethings that they do In turn.
When I ask for help, I allowthem to bless me and that
blesses them.
Number seven is to set healthyboundaries.
Learning to say no withoutguilt can be really hard, but
when you set higher standardsand stand up for yourself, it is

(05:48):
so good for your discoveryprocess as you discern what the
level of sobriety is right foryou.
Remember, if someone is pushinga drink on you, they're not the
ones that are going to have todeal with the hangover the next
morning or the shame or theguilt or regret that is you.
So when you say no, you areadvocating for yourself and

(06:12):
setting a boundary.
Number eight embrace emotions.
You know a lot of us drinkbecause we don't want to feel
things, we don't want to feelstrong emotions, but it's okay,
and the thing that we can thinkabout is that feelings are just
feelings.
They're neither good nor bad.
They're just feelings and it'show we react or act upon those

(06:36):
feelings that can sometimes getus into trouble, or if we can
use that for good, or we can useit in a way that helps us or
others.
We can get curious about ouremotions, like where is that
coming from?
Maybe what is the thought thatcaused that emotion?

(06:57):
Then it can help us reframe ourthoughts so that we can then
take an action that is going togive us a better result than
maybe just reacting on the firstfeeling that comes to mind.
Number nine practice humility.
So Brydie teaches humility likeI have never been so humbled as

(07:20):
I was walking in to my first AAmeeting alone.
Humility teaches us theimportance of standing our
ground and of being outside ofourself and letting go of pride.
Number 10 stay the course andif you fall, get back up.

(07:41):
Staying sober for a long periodof time requires determination
and continuous support, and ifyou fall or you have a slip, it
doesn't mean that you can't doit.
It just means that you need tomaybe plan or have a protocol in
place that will help you nexttime that temptation or trigger

(08:03):
arises, we use it as a learningexperience and we can only move
forward from there when we dothat.
Number 11 keep exploring.
So, brydie, is a journey ofself-discovery.
It involves learning new thingsabout yourself and God and the
world, so you can use thoseinsights to grow and heal.

(08:25):
Number 12, patience is key.
Recovery does not happenovernight.
It requires patience andunderstanding and the progress
is often slow and incremental.
Now, making the decision tostop drinking yeah, that could
happen overnight, but you stillhave to plan and go through the

(08:47):
days and learn how to adjustyour life and your habits and
your mindset so that you don'tfall back into the trappings of
overuse or misuse.
Number 13, self-care isessential.
Prioritizing self-care andlearning how to make healthier

(09:08):
choices can make a significantdifference while you are trying
to find other healthier copingmechanisms to deal with the
troubles of life, the irritantsthat come up in our lives, which
they will.
But alcohol is not self-care.
That is just counterproductive.

(09:29):
It hurts our bodies and ithurts our mental health and it
really doesn't make anythingbetter when we are using it to
cope with problems or withanxiety.
Number 14, honesty is vital.
Being honest with yourself andothers about your struggles and

(09:49):
feelings and challenges iscrucial, and it will benefit you
in the future if you can justlet go and just be honest.
Number 15, forgiveness heals.
Now, forgiving doesn't meanforgetting, but learning to give
not only yourself and otherscan be transformative.

(10:12):
It can help you let go of thepast hurts and instead focus on
the future, so that you don'thave to continually be ripping a
scab off of an old wound.
You can just let it be and letit heal.
Number 16.
Life is so much more fulfillingwhen we are not tied to vice.

(10:36):
It's possible to experience joy, excitement and fulfillment.
When you stop trying to numb oravoid by using or misusing
things, you will find that lifeis just so much more fulfilling
and you feel a sense of freedomthat you probably hadn't before.

(10:58):
Number 17.
Relapses don't mean failure.
A relapse is not a failure.
It is an opportunity to learnand to adjust your plan so that
you continue moving forward.
You will always learn somethingwith every stint of sobriety

(11:20):
and then, if you have a slip ora relapse, you're going to learn
something from that as well.
That is going to help you planand prepare for the future.
Connection is crucial.
Building healthy relationshipsand finding a supportive
community can definitely aid inthe recovery process or in the

(11:41):
process of trying to find outwhat the level of sobriety is
right for you, what it's not,what type of chaos it is causing
, and then to eliminate it orreduce it to a point where you
can decide to take it or leaveit from a place of peace.
So a lot of us drink becausewe're seeking connection with

(12:02):
people.
We go out to social events, todifferent things, and we want to
be part of a crowd, we want tobe part of the vibe and
whatever's going on.
So we drink, but we don't haveto have that to have connection.
So finding other people withthe same goals can help you,

(12:26):
even when you are in situationswith people who don't share
those goals, if that makes sense.
Briety is a personal journey.
This is number 19.
So there is no one path that islinear and leads from alcohol

(12:46):
misuse to peace.
Everyone's path is differentbecause all of our lives are
different.
We have had different childhoodexperiences, different
relationships with alcohol, andit's just important to find what
works for you and stick withthat.
So what worked for me might notwork for you, but the more that

(13:11):
we share our stories and talkto each other and again have
that connection and community,the more information is going to
be out there and then peopleare going to find their own path
to sobriety.
Number 20, your mental healthmatters.
So I didn't get this for a longtime because I just kind of

(13:33):
tried to avoid.
If I was feeling like anxiety,if I was feeling sad, I just
didn't want to think about it, Ididn't want to talk about it, I
just wanted to ignore itbasically.
But sometimes there are otherunderlying mental health issues
which you need to talk to yourdoctor about.
But I promise you that reducingor eliminating your alcohol

(13:56):
consumption is only going tomake things better.
The more I learn about howalcohol affects our
neurotransmitters, the more thismakes sense to me.
So again, if you are concernedabout your mental health, you
are concerned about your mentalhealth.
Definitely seek to find outwhat the level of sobriety is

(14:16):
that is right for you.
Number 21, change is possible.
I don't know how many times Isaid I will never get this.
I told myself a snake is asnake, it can't change all of
these things.
So I was just thinking this iswho I am and I'm never going to
be changed.
But even when things seemhopeless, change is always

(14:40):
possible, and when we turn ourface to God and we ask for his
help, it just multiplies ourefforts, because not only are we
taking the steps necessary andgiving our yes to it, but we're
allowing him to pour in hisgraces to strengthen us so that
we can make that change.

(15:01):
Number 22, strength comes fromvulnerability, so one of the
best things that I ever did formyself when I got sober was to
open up about my struggles.
I told pretty much anyone whowould listen what was going on
with me, what I was doing, thatI was recovering alcoholic.

(15:25):
I went to meetings alcoholicsanonymous meetings and there, of
course, as you know, we shareour experience, strength and
hope.
And I just found so much peacein doing that because when I was
able to open up about mystruggles and fears, it really
gave me a sense of strength andI feel like I built up a

(15:50):
resilience and a steadfastnessto be able to stand against this
addiction that had threatenedto consume me.
23,.
Your past doesn't define you.
This took a long time for me,too.
I don't know how many times Iwent to confession.
I journaled, I did all thesethings and I just kept letting

(16:12):
that voice in that said, oh, butremember when you did this.
Oh, but remember when you didthat.
God can't use you because youare too broken.
Whatever those lies are, justthrow them off a cliff, they do
not matter.
You are a beloved daughter ofGod, you are equipped, you are

(16:33):
empowered.
God loves you, he is for you,he is beside you and your past
is your past, but it does notdefine you.
24, serenity can be found.
Yes, you can have peace aroundyour decisions to take it or
leave it.
It's possible to find peace byaccepting what cannot be changed

(16:59):
.
The serenity prayer is a greatprayer to say if you're having
difficulty with that.
So we accept the things wecannot change and change the
things we can, and we have thewisdom to know the difference.
That's what we're asking for inthat prayer.
24, growth is continuous.
So just because I quit drinkingdid not mean that magically,

(17:24):
all of a sudden, things gotbetter.
I had a long learning, healingand growing process that is
probably going to last the restof my life that I embarked on on
that day.
So stopping drinking is thefirst big, huge, important step.
But be patient with yourself,because growth is continuous and

(17:49):
it will be a lifelong process.
Number 26, balance is sobeneficial.
If you can balance yourphysical health, mental health,
work relationships and leisuretime, that can lead to a
healthier and more fulfillinglife.
And I find, in these 27 years,the thing that helps me balance

(18:14):
is to put God first.
So when I put God first, itjust kind of makes everything
else come into perspective andfall into place.
And lastly, most importantly,number 27, you are not alone.
Not only have many otherswalked this path before you and

(18:34):
many will walk with you in thefuture, you are not alone
because God is with you and he'salways been with you.
So even and especially in thosetimes, those really, really
tough times, even when you feltalone and like no one understood
or you had no other choices,god was with you, loving you,

(19:00):
waiting for you, begging you toturn your face to Him.
So always remember you are notalone.
Well, that does it for thisepisode of the Catholic sobriety
podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
it with a friend who might alsoget value from it as well, and

(19:21):
make sure you subscribe so youdon't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic sobrietycoach, and if you would like to
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,thecatholicsobrietycoachcom.
Follow me on Instagram at theCatholic sobriety coach.

(19:43):
I look forward to speaking toyou next time and remember I am
here for you.
I am praying for you.
You are not alone.
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