Chanie Wilschanski is known as the "school culture doctor" because she can diagnose the root cause of the struggle in a child care center in less that 10 minutes.
She's an early childhood leadership coach and the CEO of Schools of Excellence, and in this podcast she discusses what she sees in those 10 minutes and much more.
" You need to understand where you're spending your time," Chanie says. "And then you can hit your goals."
She talks about making sure you're setting appropriate expectations for your staff while maintaining high standards and staying true to your values.
Chanie also describes how to connect with your teachers, which is so vital as early childhood education leaders struggle to find and retain staff, as well as the importance of taking care of yourself.
Her goals are:
- Not to teach you what to think, but how to think
- Not to show you what you’re lacking, but remind you that everything you need is inside you
- Instead of showing you 50 steps, the next one step that gives you a win
Learn more about Chanie's work at her Schools of Excellence website and you can find her own podcast series here!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the childcare business podcast
brought to you by ProCaresolutions.
This podcast is all about givingchildcare, preschool daycare
after school and other earlyeducation professionals, a fun
and upbeat way to learn aboutstrategies and inspiration you
can use to thrive.
You'll hear from a variety ofchildcare thought leaders,
(00:30):
including educators, owners, andindustry experts on ways to
innovate, to meet the needs ofthe children you serve from
practical tips for managingoperations, to uplifting stories
of transformation and triumph.
This podcast will be chalk fullof insights.
You can use to fully realize thepotential of your childcare
business.
(00:50):
Let's jump in
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Today.
I'm really excited to have ourguest, um, and I'm gonna have
her you'll know why in a second,when I try to pronounce her
name, gonna have her talk alittle bit about the origins of
her name, and maybe give us alittle lesson on how to
pronounce it.
But honey Wilky of schools ofexcellence, and she'll tell me
how close I was to getting thatright.
Um, is with us today, she'sgonna be giving us some tips on
(01:14):
how to create culture andcommunity, uh, in your child,
early childhood educationcenters, and specifically how to
make your employees happy intheir careers.
I think this is a super relevanttopic based on what we all know
is happening in the industryright now with staffing and, um,
retention and, and evenrecruiting challenges for a lot
of, uh, childcare professionals.
(01:34):
So excited to have her here.
Um, just by way of introduction,Shawn Todd toddlers at the
acclaimed preschool of the artsin New York city for eight
years, she went on to earn hermaster's degree.
She can tell that story, but Iread a little bit about it on
her bio that, uh, I think shedid that while pregnant with her
third child.
So, um, adding a little degreeof difficulty.
Uh, and then she went on, uh,after that, after getting her
(01:58):
master's, uh, in 2015, she beganworking with teachers and school
leaders on how to createexcellence in their schools.
And, uh, I mentioned she, uh,was pregnant with her third job.
I believe she's a mom of four.
And, uh, you know, like I saidtoday, she's gonna be talking
about, uh, how to build cultureand how to promote a career
Latice in your school and how tocreate opportunities for
(02:19):
everyone on the team so thateverybody on your team can bring
their best foot forward.
So, um, with that being said,welcome to the show, Shawn,
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Thanks for having me, Ryan.
All right.
I'm gonna take you with mewherever I go to have intros
um, so thank you.
I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yeah, yeah.
I was, you know, we were talkinga little bit before we started
recording and, um, you know, Iknow this is something that you
do.
And so we'll talk a little bitthroughout the show and at the
end to make sure our audiencecan find you and, um, tap into
some of the things that you'redoing.
Uh, you are a podcaster, you area media, you know, expert.
So I was telling you before westart recording that, uh, this
(02:56):
will be a lot of fun for me.
I did wanna ask you if you couldgive a little bit of like
instruction on your name,pronunciation, and you even
mentioned that maybe giving alittle background at the origins
of your name might be kind offun.
So can I ask like a, how do youpronounce it correctly and then
talk a little bit about, youknow, the, um, the origins.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Yeah.
So you gotta kind of clear yourthroat when you're about to say
my name.
So I always, uh, tell peoplethat that's kind of the way to
do it.
So it's ha um, it's actually, uh, H is actually the nickname of
my original, like the, theorigin of my name is actually
HANA.
Um, and I was named after.
Um, great, great, great, greatgrandma.
(03:41):
Um, I come from a very longlineage of Hasidic rabbis and
leaders, and so it's actuallythe first one in my family to
graduate, um, from college firstone to start a business.
Um, so this is just a very kindof new trajectory in my family.
Um, faith and family are my topvalues.
And so, um, even though I'm kindof like on a little bit of a
(04:03):
different course, um, my faithin my family still are very much
anchored in every decision thatI make, both in the business per
personally, professionally.
Um, faith is a company value.
We make sure to honor anyperson's faith.
We have a huge collective groupof people and clients that we
work with from all differentfaith, all different backgrounds
, um, every race it's just, it'sbeen a wild ride to be able to
(04:26):
serve such a diverse, uh, groupof leaders who are really binded
together by their pursuit ofexcellence, more than anything
else.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah, that's amazing.
So when you, when you weregrowing up then just, I, you
obviously wanna spend most ofour time talking about the work
that you're doing now, butgrowing up when you're saying
first one from your family tograduate from college and to
maybe take a, a non-traditionalroute, like what, like, as an
expectation growing up in itwith faith being such a big part
(04:56):
of your upbringing and yourfamily, like what would
generally be the expectationsfor a female growing up in your
home to continue in, in the, um,yeah, maybe that's just a, a
question.
Like what would, when growingup, what was the expectation of
what your adult life would looklike?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
So I think a lot of the expectation was around, um,
the, I guess, stereotypical momrole where she's home she's with
the family.
Maybe she has a part-time gig asa teacher, um, you know,
community service work workingalongside the rabbi in the
community, um, which is sobeautiful.
Like I'm so grateful for all thepeople that do this important
(05:34):
work, um, of service, of takingcare of their community, of
their tribe.
Um, and so I, I've done so manydifferent episodes on so many
different podcasts where peoplehave interviewed, um, me on just
what role reversal looks like.
Um, when you're looking at atraditional, you know,
faith-based family where there'srole reversal, right on the
(05:55):
breadwinner in the family, andjust how, how just all the
dynamics are associated withthat.
So if you're interested in thatside of my story, there's a lot
of different episodes that I'vedone.
Um, and other people shows, andmaybe I should do one on my show
, um, on just on everything thatcomes along with that, because
it's, it's, it's a big part ofmy story.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Interesting.
And so growing up was this, didyou know, like when you were
younger that getting intoeducation and having a, a love
for teaching and education wassomething that definitely you
were passionate about.
So what was your path then outof like maybe school to start
pursuing what you're doing now?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Yeah, so I always knew that education was gonna be
a big part of my upbringing, um,because it's so much part of the
legacy.
You know, I, I often talk aboutlegacy is understanding our
history so we could create ourfuture, right?
It's understanding where do youcome from?
What's your origin thenunderstanding what is, you know,
your own legacy that you wannacreate.
And so much of my history andour family story is about the
(06:53):
pursuit of religious freedom andeducation of, of having the
opportunity to be able to choosewhat makes sense for you.
What are your values?
Where do you wanna show up?
Right.
So we work exclusively withprivate schools, um, all types
of private schools, butexclusively with private schools
, um, who just have a little bitmore freedom and Liberty around
what they get to do and how theystructure their, their
(07:14):
education, their curriculum.
So I also grew up in a largefamily.
I'm one of eight children.
Um, I have hundreds of firstcousins and that's not an
exaggeration actually hundredsof first cousins.
Um, and it's, it's when you growup in such a large family,
family, and education, andchildren become a huge part of
just so much of your filter ofthe world, right?
(07:34):
And so, you know, so many timesI have a lot of employees in my
own company and, um, friends ofmine, they've had so many
different career tracks in theirlife.
I've always been in the field ofeducation.
And sometimes I look at it aslike, oh, you know, I've never
explored other other areas, butthis is my story.
Like I've always been in thefield of education.
I've never stepped out of it.
Um, from when I got out of highschool, I've always had jobs in
(07:57):
the field of early childhood.
So this is, this has really beenmy path,
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Always your one colleague.
So going back to like early daysfor you, what were there, people
in your life that likeidentified that in you and, and
called that out of you?
Like, oh, oh, wow.
You know, honey, you really havethis gift.
And you remember people likespeaking that into your life, or
was this just you recognizing inyourself, this is what makes me
feel alive.
(08:22):
This is what I'm passionateabout.
This is where I'm heading.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
There wasn't anyone like specifically that was like,
oh, you should go for this.
Or, or anything like that.
There was, I feel like so muchof what I've created, what I've
been blessed to create hasreally come from a combination
of like, you know, pushingmyself for what I want.
And, and, you know, I'm, again,I'm a person of faith.
And so God's blessings cominginside of me and just helping
me, you know, take that stepforward.
(08:49):
Um, I worked alongside teachers,always.
So even as I, you know, workedthrough my career from a teacher
to, you know, lead teacher,executive director manager and
operating the center, um, I wasalways looking for, how do I
make this better?
How do I make this moreseamless?
How do I help this person feelhappier with herself?
How do I help this parentunderstand that I really care
(09:11):
about their child?
Um, and I documented so much ofthose experiences.
Um, and that's so much of whatwe teach now, right.
Is so much of the trial anderror that I did in my early
career.
Um, but we're constantlyevolving and creating new ideas
and new content and newstrategy, but I'm always looking
for the root of it, right?
I am, I always say, I'm not atactics person.
Um, my husband and I justfinished a parenting course that
(09:32):
we took together and it's thefirst actual parenting course
that we've ever taken.
And the reason for that is, isbecause I have never seen a
course where it was never abouttactics, right?
This course that we justfinished was all about
understanding the why,understanding what's really
going on, understanding theroot, understanding your
motives.
Why are you showing up how to bean intentional parent?
(09:52):
Like, that's what I want.
Um, I believe every person issmart enough to figure out all
the tactics on their own.
Um, we need to understand ourown internal motivations and why
we're doing what we're doing andthen everything else falls into
place.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Yeah.
I saw, I saw on, you know, someof the, the information I was,
you know, studying up,researching a little bit about
this conversation and, and, youknow, I think one of the things
that I saw that stood out to methat you talk about is like, you
know, going into a school forthe first time, you know, you go
in and, and, and schools talkabout like, Hey, we have a good
sense of what we think ourproblems are or where our
(10:28):
challenges are.
I know you talk about,oftentimes that's not, doesn't
turn out to be what peoplethink, but you, you talk about,
which is a really boldstatement.
Hey, within 10 minutes ofmeeting with you, I can identify
your school's underlying issue.
Ha I'm curious, how do you dothat?
Like, what is that first 10minute conversation or intro or
analysis look like when you'reworking with the new school?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah.
So I, it, it, it's interesting.
I'm gonna course correct that,that statement cuz it's twofold.
Right?
So when I come into a centerwithin the first 10 minutes, I
can tell you which teachers cameon time and which ones didn't.
Um, so that's what I could do ina couple of seconds, right?
Like this one came in late, thisone's still figuring themselves
out this one's on their phone.
This one's distracted.
This one forgot to eatbreakfast.
(11:11):
This one really needs a bathroombreak.
Um, because we don't realize ourbodies are constantly
communicating what is actuallygoing on inside of us.
Right.
You know, like with the littlekid they're dancing and they're
like, okay, go to the bathroom.
Right.
So teachers communicate throughtheir body language.
Like I need a break.
I'm overwhelmed.
This is too much.
This is right.
Their faces.
(11:31):
Tell the story, their bodiestell their story.
Um, so that's what I mean whenlike I come in and I can kind of
really quickly see what's goingon.
When I get on the phone with aclient, um, what I'm looking for
is their level of selfleadership.
First, I'm looking to understandtheir level of self-awareness
their level of self leadership.
So I'm, I'm determining thequality of their question.
(11:52):
So if they're asking meconstantly, how do I get this
person to do this?
How do I get them to do this?
How do I do this?
How, and everything's about theother person, this person is
struggling with identifying thatthey stand at the root of what
goes on in their center, right?
Their self leadership is whatmatters.
Um, whereas when I have someonewho's like, Hey, you know, I
(12:13):
wanna know how I could be abetter leader.
How can I show up better?
What can I do better?
Now we're talking right now.
I can have a conversation withyou.
Um, because I have zero controlover you.
And especially I have zerocontrol over your staff.
Um, you are the only personwho's in charge of yourself.
So if you believe that all theproblems live outside of you,
you can't make progress.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
That's amazing.
So, so let, let me unpack that alittle bit and maybe walk
through in terms of your roleand your work with school.
So I, you know, I, I think forour audience, what would be
really helpful is to, is to takethe model that you follow and,
and how you work with schools toimprove operations and, and to
support them.
So as a coach and for your, your, you know, schools of
(12:58):
excellence, walk me through,like, if I'm a childcare owner
or I'm an administrator, itsounds like you work with a lot
of private schools as well.
So does that go into like Kthrough 12?
Is it strictly,
Speaker 3 (13:08):
We do have some clients who are owners of K12.
OK.
Um, it's, it's less like our,the, the vast majority of our
clients are childcare or havelike a kindergarten, first
grade, maybe.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
And so, so talk about like, ifI'm, if I'm the owner of, you
know, a preschool and so somehowI hear about you I've been
referred to you, or I find somecontent, but like walk me
through what that firstconversation is and how you
would talk with me as apotential customer about the
value that you provide or theservices you provide.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
So the first thing I always look at is your calendar,
because your calendar tells thestory of all the priorities that
you have in your life, right?
Always tell people, you know,you wanna know what your values
are, look at your bank accountand your calendar, um, because
where you spend your time andmoney, which are two time is
your only non-renewableresource, but then also money
because, you know, just the waythe world operates is, is, does
(14:02):
revolve around money.
When I understand how you spendyour money and how you spend
your time.
Now, I understand what yourvalues are and what your
priorities are.
Hmm.
So I don't look at people's bankaccounts.
When they work with me first, Ilook at their calendars.
So the first thing we look at iswe need to understand where are
you committed right now?
What did you say yes to already?
(14:24):
Because for 99.9% of the clientswho come to me, they are over
committed.
They are committed to too manyprojects, too many things, uh,
too many responsibilities,there's just too much going on.
And they have this belief thatthey're using their time really
well.
There just isn't enough time inthe day, which when you have
(14:45):
that belief, what that tells meis you don't know how to
prioritize, right?
You're not because you don'thave infinite time.
Right.
Um, so that's the first thing wedo is we understand, okay, where
are you spending your time?
And then we look at, well, whatare your goals?
Right?
So if your goals are to, youknow, acquire this next
location, or your goals are togo through an acquisition or
your goals are to exit, or yourgoals is to expand and build new
(15:08):
property, or your goals is tomaintain the number of students.
You have, whatever your goal is,no judgment on your goal.
Your goal is your goal.
Some my goal I'm the coach.
My job is to help provide acontainer and an, uh, a, um, a
space for you to recognize whatis your next step?
What do you actually need to do?
And help you remove the mindsetblocks that are stopping you
from getting there.
(15:28):
So once you've identified thegoal, now we look at, okay, does
your calendar align with yourgoal?
100% of the time?
It doesn't right.
So these are your goals, butyour calendar, isn't going to
get you to where you want to go.
So now we need to go ahead.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt you,but it, is there anything that
comes to mind, like as anexample of that, when you, when
you have a customer that says,Hey, look, this is my goal.
And you reviewing the calendarwith them.
Can you give an example of likesure, something on your calendar
that doesn't align with yourgoal?
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Yeah.
So I, I had a client in 2018 whojoined us and, uh, she, you
know, told me that her goal wasto build, she had one location
at the time and she wanted tohave three locations.
So I said, great, great goal.
Right?
So we look at her calendar andher calendar is 50% of her time.
She was still teaching in theclassroom mm-hmm.
So she was the owner and she wasalso in the classroom.
(16:17):
And I said, my love, if youwanna build three locations, you
gotta get yourself out of theclassroom.
Within the next 60 days, youhave to replace yourself.
You have to hire a teacher andyou have to get out of that
classroom.
So that's one example, right?
Another example is, you know,and she owns four locations by
the way.
Now, um, another example is, youknow, someone said that they
want to, um, they wanted toenroll 30 more children.
(16:39):
So they had, I don't know, 90kids or whatever it is.
They wanted like 120 kids.
Um, but what she was doing inher activity every day was she
was going into the classroomsand she was spending time with
teachers and schmoozing andtalking, and then, you know,
spending two hours at thecarpool line in the morning or
whatever it is.
And I'm like, Hey, if this isyour goal, guess what you have
(17:01):
to do.
Your ear has to be glued to aphone.
And you've got to be doing callswith parents and tours.
Um, and within 30 days sheenroll 30 kids.
Literally it was 30 days.
Right?
So, so many times when you lookat our goal and we're like, oh,
I can never achieve that.
And it's like, no, no, no.
You need to understand whereyou're spending your time.
And then you can hit your goals.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah.
That's amazing.
And so then you go through,you're looking at calendars,
you're talking about what theirgoals, it sounds like that's one
of the mm-hmm, thestarting points for all of the
customers you work.
Yeah.
Cause am, am I right to like,this is a generalization, but if
I'm a childcare owner, I'mcoming to you.
Cuz I say, I, I just wanna keeppronouncing your name too, by
the way, honey.
Yeah.
Um, I, I hope I'm getting alittle closer.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
You are, you are, you're getting better.
You're getting better, Ryan.
You're
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Good guys.
I'm gonna keep practicing.
Um, so I would come to you and Iwould say, you know, I, I, I,
I've got your name from acolleague or a peer who, you
know, said that you did amazingthings for their school.
And, and here's what I'mstruggling with.
I'm trying to do these thingsand I keep hitting, uh, uh, a
wall or there's too manyhurdles.
And so they come to you justsaying, Hey, can you support me
and assist me with, with tryingto resolve this?
(18:08):
Is that, is that a fair, likeanalysis of how that starts?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
We have two types of people that come to us.
We have some people that arecoming.
Cause they're really strugglingwith retention with staff, with,
with, um, culture, with just,there's just so much going on.
Right?
And then we have another groupof people who they've achieved a
certain level of success.
They're doing well.
They know, you know how tomarket, they know how to enroll.
They know how to get people inthe door.
(18:32):
They're good.
Um, but they're looking for ahigher level conversation.
They're looking for a betterpeer group.
They're looking for how to makethings a little bit easier, more
streamlined, um, have moresystems and operations.
And they're looking for anetwork, right?
They feel lonely.
They feel like they're isolated.
And so they're looking for anetwork.
So those are really the twotypes of people that will come
to us.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
I always tell people, I don't help people with
marketing.
So, you know, if you'restruggling with, uh, filling
your spots, I'm not that person.
Right.
Um, cuz I don't teach marketing.
I will teach you how to organizeyour calendar, um, which will
help with your marketing.
Um, but we don't teach marketingstrategy.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Got it.
Yeah.
Not the specific tactical pieceof SEO and you know, all the
market.
Got it.
And then, so let's talkspecifically about, and, and I,
I say this on so many of ourepisodes, I, it feels like
around staffing and, andchallenges that schools and
providers are having in thecurrent, you know, environment
we're in, uh, how, talk to me alittle bit about your role, your
(19:33):
focus on career pathing and howyou've seen that influence staff
retention, those types ofthings.
I think that's a, a topic youspend a lot of time, you know,
discussing.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Yeah.
Before I go into a career path,I wanna talk about something
else.
Um, about staffing, there aretwo, there there's a lot, but I
would say there's two mindsetshifts that leaders need to make
that dramatically impact yourstaffing crisis.
One is a reset of expectation.
The expectation that we have ofstaff coming in, or staff
(20:06):
performing or staff doing, whatthey're supposed to do is not
only ridiculously high.
It's not, it's not humanlynormal.
It's just not your ex.
Like I talk to directors and,and she's like, this teacher's
struggling.
I'm like how many days has shebeen on the job?
So she's like, she's been herefor a month.
I'm like, okay.
So, but there was alsoThanksgiving and this, so she's
(20:27):
worked for like seven days totalin the last month.
Okay, great.
The last time I checked when Idid something for seven days, I
wasn't an expert yet.
um, I was barelymediocre.
Right?
So there's, there's a lack of anawareness of the learning curve
of the journey.
Right?
Um, Malcolm GA um, Gladwell hasa great quote.
(20:48):
He says, mastery is 10,000hours.
Mm-hmm developmastery in something takes
10,000 hours.
If you take an average,teacher's Workday.
If she's working 40 hours a weekor 35 hours a week, that is six
years, six years of working todevelop mastery.
So yeah, the person who'slistening to this episode has
(21:10):
more than six years after aboutmultiple decades.
Right?
And then you have a new teacherwho's coming in.
Who's 21 years old.
She has no experience, noexposure to children, no
understanding of developmentallyappropriate practice.
She has a passion.
She has a love, she wants to bewith kids.
Do you understand her learningcurve?
Like sh her nervous system, likeshe hears three kids crying and
(21:33):
she's like, oh my God, what do Ido next?
Like she doesn't, she's not evenfamiliar with the sound of
children crying or the fact thatit's normal for kids to cry when
they separate from their parentsor it's normal for kids to not
walk in a straight line all thetime.
You know?
And it's normal for kids to missthe garbage can or miss the
toilet bowl.
Like they, there's all of theselittle things that teachers are
(21:56):
completely unaware of.
And they get super frustratedthemselves where they're like,
oh my God, there's toilet paperon the floor.
Yeah.
You teach two year olds.
There's gonna be toilet paper onthe floor.
You know?
And then the owner gets upset.
She's like the classrooms arerep.
I'm like, yeah, there's 18 twoyear olds in that classroom.
It is not a museum it's livedin.
Like we have to redo ourexpectations because when I hear
(22:20):
leaders tell me things like,well, I just high the
expectation.
I'm like, no, you don't, you'rea perfectionist.
You don't have highexpectations.
You're a perfectionist.
And you are putting yourperfectionism on the people.
So stop don't do that.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Don't do that.
That's number one.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yeah.
Check yourself and ask yourselfis what I'm asking appropriate
for this person.
Cuz here's the other thing thatowners and directors get stuck
on?
Well, everything has to be fair.
Everything has to be equal.
Every needs to be treated thesame.
No they don't.
The veteran teacher knows how todo this.
So then you don't give her asmuch grace when she makes a
(22:55):
mistake.
Right?
Because no, no, no.
You, you know this versus thenew teacher.
Right?
I don't treat all my kids thesame.
My 10 year old knows it's notokay to do certain things.
My four year old is stilllearning.
Right.
Could you imagine if I respondedthe same way to each of them,
that's not parenting.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
So do you start, you know, um, when you meet with a
new owner all the time, thosetwo things that you just
mentioned, like you've gottalower your expectations and you
have
Speaker 3 (23:23):
To, and they're not lower.
You need to make yourexpectations developmentally
appropriate.
I don't wanna, I don't wanna saylower because I want you to have
high standards.
I want you to have high values.
I want you to believe in thepursuit of excellence and I want
you to do it without chaos andcrisis and stress.
And the way to do that is justconstantly manage expectation.
(23:45):
Right?
So that's the first thing
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I like that clarification.
Yeah.
We're not lowering expectations.
We're setting a really highstandard, but we're using the
right progression to get thereand then measuring our staff
based on where they are in thatjourney.
And, and to your point, thesecond thing.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry, sorry.
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
No, that's what I was gonna say.
And the second thing is, iswhat,
Speaker 3 (24:05):
The second thing is the hardest, because no one
wants to do this.
And, and, and what no one wantsto do is take care of
themselves.
They want to constantly takecare of other people, right?
Let me give you what you need.
Let me take care of you.
Let me jump in and you know, runthat shift for you.
Let me give by you lunch.
Let me give you the day off.
(24:26):
And what they don't understandis when you learn how to take
care of yourself and understandthat the only person you're in
control of is you.
The only person you're incontrol of is you, you cannot
manipulate exploit, control,exploit any of your staff.
I mean you could, but theythey'll leave.
Um, you can only controlyourself.
(24:47):
And so you need to understandwhat are the activities that
center you, that ground you,that take care of you.
So when you come into thebuilding, you are centered, you
have confidence, you haveprecision of decision making.
You're clear on what you need tofocus on today.
You know, when to tell ateacher, I'm gonna get back to
(25:09):
you.
I wanna think about that for 24hours versus another teacher.
You know what?
Come into my office right now,let's work through that.
You have what it takes topractice discernment.
And the way to do that is youhave to be aware of what grounds
you and so many leaders don't dothe little things that ground
them every day, cuz they're likeI'm in survival mode.
I can't do it.
(25:30):
No, no, no.
The way you get into survivalmode is by forgetting what
grounds you, you have to do that
Speaker 2 (25:36):
In your experience as you talk, cuz I listened to you
kind of share that second pointand it you're obviously
passionate about it.
So am I right to assume?
Is that a pretty common yes.
Issue.
If that's the right term thatyou see when you first talk with
owners is that's alwayssomething that's on the table.
You're not prioritizing takingcare of yourself.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
It's always on the table because the owner starts,
you know, with hustle and gritand all those things and
actually build a center.
But if you wanna sustain thecenter, you have to be able to
ground yourself.
Because when you hit a higherlevel, you, the quality of your
decision making is going todetermine the quality of success
in your center.
The qu the, your, your center'ssuccess is not determined if you
(26:19):
plunge that toilet that day, orif you gave little Sammy a kiss,
it doesn't, the quality of yourcenter is determined by your
decision making.
And you cannot make cleardiscerning decisions.
If you did not take care ofyourself.
Um, and we don't take care ofourselves, cuz we feel guilty
and, and, and all the stuff thatI coach on, right?
But I had a conversation thismorning with a client and she's
(26:41):
like, well, I didn't do allthese things.
And then I said, but why she'slike, cuz there are
enhancements.
Like I don't, I don't feel likeI have to do them.
I'm like, no, no, no.
There's enhancements likegetting a monthly massage as
part of your wellness routine,having someone cook your dinner,
getting a cleaning lady, youknow, a few times a week, those
are enhancements.
And then there's grounded.
(27:01):
Centerness meditation, yoga,prayer.
If you know, if, if, if that'spart of it, exercise, eating,
healthy, drinking, water,sleeping.
If you are not doing thosethings, those are not
enhancements.
Those are regular centeredactivities.
You must do every day.
If you're gonna play at thislevel
Speaker 2 (27:22):
As a BA as a baseline.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
But if you wanna play at this level, you gotta operate
at this level.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
And this level, just for those who don't see this,
that's a high level.
She's, it's
Speaker 3 (27:32):
A high level,
Speaker 2 (27:33):
A high level.
So thanks.
Here's a question for you whenyou're talking with, with
somebody and you say, Hey, look,you've gotta find the things in
your life.
That ground you, that centeryou, that bring life out of you.
Yeah.
You know, when I hear somebodysay that, I, I think like how
does somebody find that?
Like, is, are there sometechniques that you found, like
if somebody were to say like,Hey, that sounds awesome.
(27:54):
I would love to find the thingsthat really are my, my center,
my grounding.
How did somebody identify that?
Like what should they look for?
Is there an exercise that theycould do to identify those
things?
Speaker 3 (28:06):
So I'm gonna tell you a story.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Love it.
I love stories.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
I just put on my big event in, um, March, so about,
you know, almost three monthsago.
And um, so our annual event forowners and directors and one of
the ways that I prepare when Itake the stage for big events is
I work a lot on my breathingtechnique.
Why?
Because when you're standing onstage for those who are
listening, that have been onstages, the sensory stimuli of
(28:32):
the lights of the cameras, ofthe AV of just all of the
sensory stimuli that's coming onto you really impairs your
functioning in your brain, cuzit's a constant stimuli.
And then if you also have toentertain, your brain is
constantly fighting againstwhat's going on.
Like you have to member,remember what you wanna say, but
you have these bright lightscoming at you, you have people
looking at you.
(28:53):
And so the way to constantlykeep your brain at peak
performance is to make sureyou're pausing and taking a
breath, literally taking abreath and it brings oxygen back
to your brain.
Okay.
So I was talking to a client ofmine who was at the event and
she said, I noticed that everyonce in a while you would take
this big breath and then youwould like continue speaking.
(29:15):
But there was always like, youalways make sure to take this
breath.
And she's like, I, I really lovethat.
And I started incorporating thatinto my day and whenever I feel
overwhelmed, I would take thisbreath.
And then after the pause, Iwould have this clarity of like,
okay, now I need to do this andI don't need to do this.
And she was talking about justhow it impacted her life.
(29:36):
Like she started working fromhome now twice a week, instead
of coming into the center, sheworks from home now twice a week
from the breath, the pause.
Okay.
So for those of you that arelistening and I'm like, how do I
find out what grounds me?
You find it in the space, in thequiet, you need to turn off
notifications.
(29:56):
You need to sit quietly withyourself.
You need space.
And that is where it comes toyou.
It's inside of you.
We are so busy running aroundchasing our own tails.
We don't even have space tolisten when our body says, sit,
drink, rest, go outside.
(30:17):
Right.
Our body is telling us, but wedon't hear it.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah.
I, I like that.
And, and what, what you'resaying from a coaching
standpoint, find that it startswith you.
You have to be, you know,however you define that the best
version of yourself and findwhat brings life out of you so
that you can then lead yourteam.
Transition that for me.
(30:41):
So once you've kind of laid thatfoundation with an owner or all
right, it starts with you only,you can only control the things
that you can control and you getthat baseline.
Then as you transition intolike, all right, let's tackle
this challenge of staffing.
Mm-hmm, like talkabout some practical things that
you're doing with your customersright now around that topic, if
(31:04):
you could.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Yeah, absolutely.
So again, it depends on whereyou are in the journey, but
let's, let's say you're in thebeginning of the journey.
Um, the first things that we'reworking on when it comes to
staffing is something that Icall the gratitude beat tricks.
So I have a whole episode onthis, on our podcast as well.
It's episode three on theschools of excellence podcast.
And gratitude is the foundationof building great cultures
(31:24):
because fundamentally we havehuman needs, right?
We want to be, feel seen, heardDes um, um, noticed we wanna be
missed.
We like when I wasn't here, didanyone notice that I wasn't here
even, you know?
Um, and so how do we build thatinto our teams?
The first step is teachers needto know that you care about
(31:45):
them, that you see their hardwork.
And so the gratitude matrix isabout understanding that every
teacher needs one touchpoint ofgratitude per month and that's
at the bare minimum.
Um, and by gratitude, I do notmean buying them book classes
and gift cards.
I mean actually telling themwhether that's a handwritten
card or a voice message, and wehave a whole system of how to do
(32:07):
this.
We have someone who has 50teachers that does this.
So anyone who's listening to uslike, oh, that that would be
great if you have, you know, asmall school.
No, no, no, no.
She has 50 teachers and she doesthis every month with all her
staff.
Why?
Because it's a priority of howshe uses her time.
She understands that when I dothis, all of these other things
(32:28):
fall into place.
Right.
Um, so that's the first thingwhen it comes to staffing is, is
gratitude.
Because when staff feel seen andheard, they will step, they will
step up in a way that you neverthought possible.
Right?
So that's the first thing, butlet's say you're doing
gratitude, right?
Cause we have a lot of clientswho've been with us for four or
five years at this point.
(32:48):
Right.
And they're doing itconsistently.
The next thing that we'relooking at is one-on-one
meetings consistently runningone-on-ones and one-on-s are not
performance reviews.
They're not curriculum meetings.
They are not check-ins.
One on ones are connecting withyour teacher and asking her,
what did you do for self-care inthe last 24 hours?
(33:11):
Where are you going for theholiday break?
Tell me how your mom is doing.
I know the last time we spoke,she wasn't, well, your brother's
wedding's coming up.
What are you wearing?
Can you tell me about that?
Right?
How's your son doing?
Right.
I know you moved recently.
How is that settling in?
Right.
You're talking to them nowpeople are listening.
(33:32):
I'm like, oh, I do this all thetime.
I'm like, no, no, no, no.
This is not a hallwayconversation of like, Hey, so
you're wearing that black gown.
Great, gorgeous.
No, no, no.
This is not a fly byconversation.
This is not a conversation thatwe do in the ladies' room.
When we're washing our handsafter the bathroom, this is not
a conversation that we do at thecoffee.
You know, at the coffee bar, in,in the teacher's lounge, this is
a conversation that's eye to eye, toes to toes in the office,
(33:55):
just you and her, all browsersclosed door is closed.
Notifications are off, you get20 minutes of me that builds
intimacy connection.
And that is where you build theemotional bank account where
when you need to hold peopleaccountable and you need to tell
'em things like, Hey, I need youto work on your circle time,
(34:17):
right?
Or the way that you spoke tothat parent was not aligned with
our values.
I'd love to role play with you.
Another way to approach thatconversation.
Right now you've built emotionalcurrency where she's like, yeah,
Ryan really does like me.
He really does care about me.
I really do wanna do this forhim.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
And then you can hold to that level of standard that
you're talking about earlier.
Exactly.
But it starts with, if I replaywhat you said, it can't go in
reverse.
You, you can't set everything uparound, uh, this is what you
gotta do.
And this is what, how you needto perform.
And then as a byproduct, I'mgonna try to get to know you
because that people see throughthat, you gotta carry well,
Speaker 3 (34:57):
It's manipulation, that's manipulation.
That's, that's the definition ofmanipulation.
And, and here's the thing alsois that people are listening to
this saying they're like, but Idon't have time to do all of
that cuz I still need them toperform.
And when, when people say thatto me, I'm always like, I
understand it means you'reovercommitted.
If you don't have the time topause and slow down and have
these conversations, you'redoing too much, you have to
(35:21):
stop.
You need to slow down.
Um, and people are terrifiedabout I'm gonna lose money.
I'm gonna lose a run thenumbers.
You're not gonna lose money.
You're not gonna make as muchprofit or as much whatever.
Okay.
At what cost, right.
You're gonna continue to runthis thing until when.
Right?
Like we have to understand, youhave to pause.
(35:43):
You have to say no to thetemptation of whatever else is
out there for six months, 12months, and then go out there.
You'll come back for it.
But you have to have thediscipline to say, not now, now
I need to do this.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Yeah.
And, and then from yourexperience, that component that
you're talking about in termsof, you know, building culture
and recruiting other teammembers and retaining your
talent, uh, all of those thingsbecome a byproduct like that.
That success story happens fromprioritizing connection with
your staff.
(36:18):
Like, I mean, I, I know I'moversimplifying it, but no,
Speaker 3 (36:21):
You're, it's not, it's not an oversimplification.
It's more about most peopledon't have the patience to see
it all the way through.
And so they do it for threemonths and that they're not
getting results.
So they stop.
And if you think aboutgenerational wealth, financial
freedom, real fitness wellness,any like really hard goal to
(36:43):
achieve it, doesn't get achievedin three months, six months, 12
months, a person who really losta significant amount of weight
and kept it off.
That was years of work ofmindset, work of deep work of,
of discipline, of changing, whothey are as a person, right?
Someone who builds generationalwealth that no longer is in debt
(37:04):
ever again is fundamentally adifferent human being.
And so we don't have thepatience.
We don't have the discipline tostick with it.
We want the result faster.
And, and this is one of mythings.
When I tell people on the phonebefore they work with me, I'm
like, I will not give youinstant results.
You're gonna see quick wins whenyou work with me in the
(37:25):
beginning, because I'm gonnahelp you organize your calendar.
And you're, you're gonnaautomatically see a ripple
effect.
But the real work takes months.
This is, this is a processbecause the person who enters my
program is not the person wholeaves the program.
It's a completely differenthuman being.
They make decisions differently.
They think about differentthings.
(37:46):
They have different values.
They show up to conversationsdifferently.
They make different decisions.
Their marriages are different atthe end.
Their relationship with theirchildren are different.
They are a different person.
If you wanna be a differentperson, a better version of
yourself, then this is amazing.
But if you're looking fortactics, they're free, you don't
have to pay for it.
Tactics are free becoming a newperson.
(38:09):
You have to do the work
Speaker 2 (38:11):
And the tactics will follow in.
In, in your relationship withyour clients, it starts there.
How, how do you set that up withyour clients outta curiosity?
We we've talked with differentcoaches and consultants and
experts around, you know, theirbusiness model and their
approach.
But I'm curious for you.
Yeah.
When you start working with aclient, do you actually lay out
like, Hey, a, a timeline andwhat benchmarks we're looking
(38:33):
for?
How do we measure sure.
The success of thisrelationship.
And then you mentioned when theyfinish your course, it, but it
also sounds like you haveongoing relationship as well.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
Yeah.
People since 2017, who's, who'vebeen working with us.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Got it.
And so it's both.
So it's both like, Hey, I, I,you know, you really help me
out.
And I feel like there was a lotof value and I'm gonna now take
that and go kind of, you know,carry on.
And then there's what does thatlook like?
How do you know when the work isdone?
Or is that just something youwork on with your clients
together?
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Yeah, that's such a great question.
So we have benchmarks, meaningwe say the first 60 days, your
goal is to get your calendar inorder and to understand how to
start prioritizing within yourfirst 90 days, your goal is to
start creating your gratitudematrix and get consistent about
it.
So that you've laid thefoundation for gratitude.
Within the first four months, wewant you to build a better
communication system with youradministrative team.
So we have multiple differentframeworks that we help them
(39:26):
work through how to actuallybuild better communication
between the administrative teamto just loose ends, follow
through task completion.
All of those little things weteach you how to follow through
with that by the six month mark,we want you to understand how to
do performance reviews, one onones, classroom observations,
just the infrastructure to raisethe quality of care.
(39:47):
Um, then we start working onparent relationships.
So we have like a whole, um,roadmap, if you will, of what we
take clients through through thefirst 12 months.
Um, but the way that we reallydetermine like, you know, who is
ready to move on, who's not,it's a really very much client
base.
So the client decides, you know,I have decided I've gone as far
as I wanna go with you.
(40:07):
And then, you know, we partways, whereas other people are
like, I wanna go deeper.
I wanna go a lever, you know, alayer deeper.
I wanna go further.
The other reason why people stayin just the way that we've built
our infrastructure is we'rebuilt around community.
So people we're training,coaching, and community.
So we have training, we docoaching and then we have
communities.
So we partner people togetherwith people in similar seasons
(40:30):
of life, similar stages ofbusiness, um, similar goals.
And we do multiple differentexercises and challenges to help
people find community.
Um, we know that it's lone onlyat the top.
You know, we understand theworst punishment is solitary
confinement.
And yet every school leadervoluntarily says, I'm gonna sign
up for some solitary confinementfor the rest of my life, right?
(40:52):
Like I'm gonna do this allalone.
And the antithesis to beinglonely is being in community is
finding belonging.
And so that's a big part of whatwe've created in our, in schools
of excellence.
If you ask anyone, like, they'lltell you the people, the
community, like I've madefriends there, lifelong friends.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Yeah.
That's amazing.
I actually was listening to, Idon't know how recent it was,
but it was some content that youput out talking about loneliness
and, and how you were sayinglike the medical community has
actually identified thatloneliness as is as detrimental
to your health as like smoking15 cigarettes a day, I think was
(41:31):
the statistic you said, so it's,it's not just like, Hey, it
doesn't feel good.
It, it actually has a physical,emotional, psychological toll on
an individual.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
Yeah.
We, I mean, I see it in amembership.
I see the people who stayisolated, right.
Even though they come in, theychoose to stay isolated.
They, we, we encourage it somuch to get connected, but some
people just don't do it.
They do not get results.
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Interesting.
They,
Speaker 3 (41:58):
They make some incremental progress, but the
quantum leaps, like the, thepeople that just like completely
transform are the people whomake relationships and it's not
by accident.
Right.
Because when you're in communityand you don't feel alone, your
confidence in yourselfskyrockets, so you tackle risks
(42:20):
in a totally different way.
You believe in yourself in adifferent way.
So when opportunity comes thatyou're like, I got this as
opposed to when you're allalone, you're like, I don't know
.
Can I do it?
Can I not?
Can I do it?
Can I not?
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Yeah.
And I
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Do realize the impact of that realize how that impacts
us.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
Yeah.
That's really that resonateswith me because I also, you
know, I know you're a bigadvocate of like doing hard
things.
Like, you know, something thatfeels hard to you or difficult.
I talk with my team about thisall the time as well.
I think the difference betweenbeing good and great in a role
oftentimes is individuals whoidentify what those hard things
are and learn how to lean intoit.
(42:57):
I think human nature is you shyaway and you try to find reasons
not to do them or ways aroundthem.
But when you find somebody who'slike, Hey, that's actually a
really difficult part of the jobor a really difficult thing for
me to do for my personality.
But I also know that that's whatI have to do to get to the next
level or to grow like when, sofor those individuals that
(43:18):
struggle with connection andcommunity, it might be like,
Hey, that's hard for you.
But if you lean into it, thefruit of that is gonna be, you
know, so huge and profound.
So that's a really good segue.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
I'll just add one more thing there.
It's not, you know, the personwho's listening, like, okay, so
I'll lean into it.
Here's, here's what it is.
If you can expand your capacityto tolerate discomfort at the
root of that, right?
Like at the root of all, thereasons why we don't do hard
(43:49):
things, right?
Why don't I call the friend?
Why don't I reach out to theperson?
Why don't I go to the gym?
Why don't I not eat thecheesecake or whatever?
I don't wanna tolerate thediscomfort.
The pain is too great.
Right?
I'm very, I'm gonna be ashamed.
I'm gonna be whatever it is.
Right.
All the emotions.
If you can learn to trainyourself, to tolerate discomfort
for longer periods of time, thisis like this golden key that
(44:15):
unlocks where it's like, okay,I'm gonna be a little bit
uncomfortable, but I'm gonnahave made the call.
Right.
I'm gonna be a little bituncomfortable, but I may, I, you
know, I did the outreach I did.
And, and we, we don't know howto tolerate that discomfort.
We immediately numb it.
Take cigarette, take the wine,take the phone, take whatever.
Right.
All the vices, right?
(44:35):
No, no, numb it right away.
I don't wanna feel discomfort.
I don't wanna feel pain if youcan tolerate it for longer.
Gosh, like you just opened upthe gates of freedom for
yourself because you are goingto pursue things that people
will never touch.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
Yeah.
Don't just go up to the line andretrieve when it's
uncomfortable.
Yeah.
But yeah.
And, and I think that's actuallywhat you said is really
interesting.
It's not like you have to go runa marathon the day you start
running.
It's like little by little, justgo a little further and tolerate
a little bit more.
And if I heard you right.
That mindset and thatwillingness to endure just a
(45:14):
little bit more unlocks, so muchpotential that people have.
So that that's a really goodsegue.
Cause I also wanna be reallyrespectful of your time.
You've given us, you know, 50minutes of your time.
And I know you mentioned you hada hard stop, but I would like to
give our audience, um, you know,an opportunity to, to, to find
you, if people wanted to reachout or tap into what you guys do
(45:35):
, uh, at, at your organizationat your company.
So can you share a little bitabout if somebody listening to
this episode wanted to reach outor learn more about the work you
do?
How, how can our audience findyou?
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Sure.
Thanks so much, Ryan.
Yeah.
So there's a number of differentways, depending on what you
know, you're, you'reconsidering.
So if you're look, if you listento that episode and you're like,
I want more content like this, Iwanna hear more of what Connie
has to say on, on these topics.
We have our podcast, the schoolsof excellence podcasts, um,
where I do basically all of theepisodes.
We've had very few guests.
(46:08):
I do mostly the content on myown.
Um, right now we are doing, um,an entire series on you're not
the only one.
And so we have a special serieswhere we've interviewed, um,
multiple owners and leaderssharing their personal stories
so that when you listen, youunderstand, you're not the only
one.
Um, so that's a super excitingseries that we are excited to
(46:29):
launch.
We have some other series thereon ordinary moments.
Um, so just really great contentwhere you can learn and
understand you're not the onlyone and you will figure this out
and you're gonna be okay.
So that's the first thing from acontent perspective.
If you're looking for you wannaget connected with schools of
excellence, you wanna work withour organization.
Um, you could go to h.me/jointhe DIC.
(46:51):
We'll give that, that linkinside the show notes.
And that gives you all theinformation on our schools of
excellence coaching program, ourdirectors in our circle, our
owner HQ program, where we workwith directors and owners.
Um, and this is for the personwho's like, yes, I need
training.
I want coaching.
I want community.
I really, really want to beconnected.
(47:12):
Um, and I want someone to helpguide me to shorten my learning
curve so that I can enjoy theprocess.
So I can be part of this and notfeel like every day is like, oh
my gosh, like, can I make itthrough today?
Yes, you, can you have thatinside of you?
So I would say those are the twoplaces that I would send, uh,
your listeners.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Excellent.
And, and look, this has been forme a lot of fun because the
first time we've met was like 30seconds before we started
recording and really enjoyedlearning more about you.
And, um, so honey was, was Kywas Chansky
Speaker 3 (47:45):
Ky.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Yeah.
And she'll, um, you know, Iwould encourage the audience,
like people who heard anythingon the show, even if it's giving
feedback or, or relayingsomething that was helpful.
Like it's always nice when wehave a guest that can receive,
you know, commentary or feedbackabout how their content was
helpful, but reach out to, to,uh, you know, honey as well, if
(48:06):
you are interested in what theydo.
And then maybe at some point inthe future, we'll get a, a round
two with you, cuz it's been alot of fun.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
I would absolutely love to do that.
I've been on a lot of podcast,Ron, you're a brilliant
interviewer.
I really enjoyed thisconversation.
Um, so I would absolutely loveto do a part two at some point
and we could dig more into someother, um, topics and we spent a
lot of time on the history andthings like that, but um, happy
to come back to chat aboutanything.
So thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
Absolutely.
I will look forward to it andeverybody have a wonderful day.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
Thank you for listening to this episode of the
childcare business podcast, toget more insights on ways to
succeed in your childcarebusiness, make sure to hit
subscribe in your podcast app.
So you never miss an episode.
And if you want even morechildcare business tips, tricks
and strategies, head over to ourresource
center@procaresoftware.com untilnext time.
Welcome to the childcare business podcast
brought to you by ProCaresolutions.
This podcast is all about givingchildcare, preschool daycare
after school and other earlyeducation professionals, a fun
and upbeat way to learn aboutstrategies and inspiration you
can use to thrive.
You'll hear from a variety ofchildcare thought leaders,
(00:30):
including educators, owners, andindustry experts on ways to
innovate, to meet the needs ofthe children you serve from
practical tips for managingoperations, to uplifting stories
of transformation and triumph.
This podcast will be chalk fullof insights.
You can use to fully realize thepotential of your childcare
business.
(00:50):
Let's jump in
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Today.
I'm really excited to have ourguest, um, and I'm gonna have
her you'll know why in a second,when I try to pronounce her
name, gonna have her talk alittle bit about the origins of
her name, and maybe give us alittle lesson on how to
pronounce it.
But honey Wilky of schools ofexcellence, and she'll tell me
how close I was to getting thatright.
Um, is with us today, she'sgonna be giving us some tips on
(01:14):
how to create culture andcommunity, uh, in your child,
early childhood educationcenters, and specifically how to
make your employees happy intheir careers.
I think this is a super relevanttopic based on what we all know
is happening in the industryright now with staffing and, um,
retention and, and evenrecruiting challenges for a lot
of, uh, childcare professionals.
(01:34):
So excited to have her here.
Um, just by way of introduction,Shawn Todd toddlers at the
acclaimed preschool of the artsin New York city for eight
years, she went on to earn hermaster's degree.
She can tell that story, but Iread a little bit about it on
her bio that, uh, I think shedid that while pregnant with her
third child.
So, um, adding a little degreeof difficulty.
Uh, and then she went on, uh,after that, after getting her
(01:58):
master's, uh, in 2015, she beganworking with teachers and school
leaders on how to createexcellence in their schools.
And, uh, I mentioned she, uh,was pregnant with her third job.
I believe she's a mom of four.
And, uh, you know, like I saidtoday, she's gonna be talking
about, uh, how to build cultureand how to promote a career
Latice in your school and how tocreate opportunities for
(02:19):
everyone on the team so thateverybody on your team can bring
their best foot forward.
So, um, with that being said,welcome to the show, Shawn,
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Thanks for having me, Ryan.
All right.
I'm gonna take you with mewherever I go to have intros
I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yeah, yeah.
I was, you know, we were talkinga little bit before we started
recording and, um, you know, Iknow this is something that you
do.
And so we'll talk a little bitthroughout the show and at the
end to make sure our audiencecan find you and, um, tap into
some of the things that you'redoing.
Uh, you are a podcaster, you area media, you know, expert.
So I was telling you before westart recording that, uh, this
(02:56):
will be a lot of fun for me.
I did wanna ask you if you couldgive a little bit of like
instruction on your name,pronunciation, and you even
mentioned that maybe giving alittle background at the origins
of your name might be kind offun.
So can I ask like a, how do youpronounce it correctly and then
talk a little bit about, youknow, the, um, the origins.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Yeah.
So you gotta kind of clear yourthroat when you're about to say
my name.
So I always, uh, tell peoplethat that's kind of the way to
do it.
So it's ha um, it's actually, uh, H is actually the nickname of
my original, like the, theorigin of my name is actually
HANA.
Um, and I was named after.
Um, great, great, great, greatgrandma.
(03:41):
Um, I come from a very longlineage of Hasidic rabbis and
leaders, and so it's actuallythe first one in my family to
graduate, um, from college firstone to start a business.
Um, so this is just a very kindof new trajectory in my family.
Um, faith and family are my topvalues.
And so, um, even though I'm kindof like on a little bit of a
(04:03):
different course, um, my faithin my family still are very much
anchored in every decision thatI make, both in the business per
personally, professionally.
Um, faith is a company value.
We make sure to honor anyperson's faith.
We have a huge collective groupof people and clients that we
work with from all differentfaith, all different backgrounds
, um, every race it's just, it'sbeen a wild ride to be able to
(04:26):
serve such a diverse, uh, groupof leaders who are really binded
together by their pursuit ofexcellence, more than anything
else.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah, that's amazing.
So when you, when you weregrowing up then just, I, you
obviously wanna spend most ofour time talking about the work
that you're doing now, butgrowing up when you're saying
first one from your family tograduate from college and to
maybe take a, a non-traditionalroute, like what, like, as an
expectation growing up in itwith faith being such a big part
(04:56):
of your upbringing and yourfamily, like what would
generally be the expectationsfor a female growing up in your
home to continue in, in the, um,yeah, maybe that's just a, a
question.
Like what would, when growingup, what was the expectation of
what your adult life would looklike?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
So I think a lot of the expectation was around, um,
the, I guess, stereotypical momrole where she's home she's with
the family.
Maybe she has a part-time gig asa teacher, um, you know,
community service work workingalongside the rabbi in the
community, um, which is sobeautiful.
Like I'm so grateful for all thepeople that do this important
(05:34):
work, um, of service, of takingcare of their community, of
their tribe.
Um, and so I, I've done so manydifferent episodes on so many
different podcasts where peoplehave interviewed, um, me on just
what role reversal looks like.
Um, when you're looking at atraditional, you know,
faith-based family where there'srole reversal, right on the
(05:55):
breadwinner in the family, andjust how, how just all the
dynamics are associated withthat.
So if you're interested in thatside of my story, there's a lot
of different episodes that I'vedone.
Um, and other people shows, andmaybe I should do one on my show
, um, on just on everything thatcomes along with that, because
it's, it's, it's a big part ofmy story.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Interesting.
And so growing up was this, didyou know, like when you were
younger that getting intoeducation and having a, a love
for teaching and education wassomething that definitely you
were passionate about.
So what was your path then outof like maybe school to start
pursuing what you're doing now?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Yeah, so I always knew that education was gonna be
a big part of my upbringing, um,because it's so much part of the
legacy.
You know, I, I often talk aboutlegacy is understanding our
history so we could create ourfuture, right?
It's understanding where do youcome from?
What's your origin thenunderstanding what is, you know,
your own legacy that you wannacreate.
And so much of my history andour family story is about the
(06:53):
pursuit of religious freedom andeducation of, of having the
opportunity to be able to choosewhat makes sense for you.
What are your values?
Where do you wanna show up?
Right.
So we work exclusively withprivate schools, um, all types
of private schools, butexclusively with private schools
, um, who just have a little bitmore freedom and Liberty around
what they get to do and how theystructure their, their
(07:14):
education, their curriculum.
So I also grew up in a largefamily.
I'm one of eight children.
Um, I have hundreds of firstcousins and that's not an
exaggeration actually hundredsof first cousins.
Um, and it's, it's when you growup in such a large family,
family, and education, andchildren become a huge part of
just so much of your filter ofthe world, right?
(07:34):
And so, you know, so many timesI have a lot of employees in my
own company and, um, friends ofmine, they've had so many
different career tracks in theirlife.
I've always been in the field ofeducation.
And sometimes I look at it aslike, oh, you know, I've never
explored other other areas, butthis is my story.
Like I've always been in thefield of education.
I've never stepped out of it.
Um, from when I got out of highschool, I've always had jobs in
(07:57):
the field of early childhood.
So this is, this has really beenmy path,
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Always your one colleague.
So going back to like early daysfor you, what were there, people
in your life that likeidentified that in you and, and
called that out of you?
Like, oh, oh, wow.
You know, honey, you really havethis gift.
And you remember people likespeaking that into your life, or
was this just you recognizing inyourself, this is what makes me
feel alive.
(08:22):
This is what I'm passionateabout.
This is where I'm heading.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
There wasn't anyone like specifically that was like,
oh, you should go for this.
Or, or anything like that.
There was, I feel like so muchof what I've created, what I've
been blessed to create hasreally come from a combination
of like, you know, pushingmyself for what I want.
And, and, you know, I'm, again,I'm a person of faith.
And so God's blessings cominginside of me and just helping
me, you know, take that stepforward.
(08:49):
Um, I worked alongside teachers,always.
So even as I, you know, workedthrough my career from a teacher
to, you know, lead teacher,executive director manager and
operating the center, um, I wasalways looking for, how do I
make this better?
How do I make this moreseamless?
How do I help this person feelhappier with herself?
How do I help this parentunderstand that I really care
(09:11):
about their child?
Um, and I documented so much ofthose experiences.
Um, and that's so much of whatwe teach now, right.
Is so much of the trial anderror that I did in my early
career.
Um, but we're constantlyevolving and creating new ideas
and new content and newstrategy, but I'm always looking
for the root of it, right?
I am, I always say, I'm not atactics person.
Um, my husband and I justfinished a parenting course that
(09:32):
we took together and it's thefirst actual parenting course
that we've ever taken.
And the reason for that is, isbecause I have never seen a
course where it was never abouttactics, right?
This course that we justfinished was all about
understanding the why,understanding what's really
going on, understanding theroot, understanding your
motives.
Why are you showing up how to bean intentional parent?
(09:52):
Like, that's what I want.
Um, I believe every person issmart enough to figure out all
the tactics on their own.
Um, we need to understand ourown internal motivations and why
we're doing what we're doing andthen everything else falls into
place.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Yeah.
I saw, I saw on, you know, someof the, the information I was,
you know, studying up,researching a little bit about
this conversation and, and, youknow, I think one of the things
that I saw that stood out to methat you talk about is like, you
know, going into a school forthe first time, you know, you go
in and, and, and schools talkabout like, Hey, we have a good
sense of what we think ourproblems are or where our
(10:28):
challenges are.
I know you talk about,oftentimes that's not, doesn't
turn out to be what peoplethink, but you, you talk about,
which is a really boldstatement.
Hey, within 10 minutes ofmeeting with you, I can identify
your school's underlying issue.
Ha I'm curious, how do you dothat?
Like, what is that first 10minute conversation or intro or
analysis look like when you'reworking with the new school?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah.
So I, it, it, it's interesting.
I'm gonna course correct that,that statement cuz it's twofold.
Right?
So when I come into a centerwithin the first 10 minutes, I
can tell you which teachers cameon time and which ones didn't.
Um, so that's what I could do ina couple of seconds, right?
Like this one came in late, thisone's still figuring themselves
out this one's on their phone.
This one's distracted.
This one forgot to eatbreakfast.
(11:11):
This one really needs a bathroombreak.
Um, because we don't realize ourbodies are constantly
communicating what is actuallygoing on inside of us.
Right.
You know, like with the littlekid they're dancing and they're
like, okay, go to the bathroom.
Right.
So teachers communicate throughtheir body language.
Like I need a break.
I'm overwhelmed.
This is too much.
This is right.
Their faces.
(11:31):
Tell the story, their bodiestell their story.
Um, so that's what I mean whenlike I come in and I can kind of
really quickly see what's goingon.
When I get on the phone with aclient, um, what I'm looking for
is their level of selfleadership.
First, I'm looking to understandtheir level of self-awareness
their level of self leadership.
So I'm, I'm determining thequality of their question.
(11:52):
So if they're asking meconstantly, how do I get this
person to do this?
How do I get them to do this?
How do I do this?
How, and everything's about theother person, this person is
struggling with identifying thatthey stand at the root of what
goes on in their center, right?
Their self leadership is whatmatters.
Um, whereas when I have someonewho's like, Hey, you know, I
(12:13):
wanna know how I could be abetter leader.
How can I show up better?
What can I do better?
Now we're talking right now.
I can have a conversation withyou.
Um, because I have zero controlover you.
And especially I have zerocontrol over your staff.
Um, you are the only personwho's in charge of yourself.
So if you believe that all theproblems live outside of you,
you can't make progress.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
That's amazing.
So, so let, let me unpack that alittle bit and maybe walk
through in terms of your roleand your work with school.
So I, you know, I, I think forour audience, what would be
really helpful is to, is to takethe model that you follow and,
and how you work with schools toimprove operations and, and to
support them.
So as a coach and for your, your, you know, schools of
(12:58):
excellence, walk me through,like, if I'm a childcare owner
or I'm an administrator, itsounds like you work with a lot
of private schools as well.
So does that go into like Kthrough 12?
Is it strictly,
Speaker 3 (13:08):
We do have some clients who are owners of K12.
OK.
Um, it's, it's less like our,the, the vast majority of our
clients are childcare or havelike a kindergarten, first
grade, maybe.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Okay.
Mm-hmm
And so, so talk about like, ifI'm, if I'm the owner of, you
know, a preschool and so somehowI hear about you I've been
referred to you, or I find somecontent, but like walk me
through what that firstconversation is and how you
would talk with me as apotential customer about the
value that you provide or theservices you provide.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
So the first thing I always look at is your calendar,
because your calendar tells thestory of all the priorities that
you have in your life, right?
Always tell people, you know,you wanna know what your values
are, look at your bank accountand your calendar, um, because
where you spend your time andmoney, which are two time is
your only non-renewableresource, but then also money
because, you know, just the waythe world operates is, is, does
(14:02):
revolve around money.
When I understand how you spendyour money and how you spend
your time.
Now, I understand what yourvalues are and what your
priorities are.
Hmm.
So I don't look at people's bankaccounts.
When they work with me first, Ilook at their calendars.
So the first thing we look at iswe need to understand where are
you committed right now?
What did you say yes to already?
(14:24):
Because for 99.9% of the clientswho come to me, they are over
committed.
They are committed to too manyprojects, too many things, uh,
too many responsibilities,there's just too much going on.
And they have this belief thatthey're using their time really
well.
There just isn't enough time inthe day, which when you have
(14:45):
that belief, what that tells meis you don't know how to
prioritize, right?
You're not because you don'thave infinite time.
Right.
Um, so that's the first thing wedo is we understand, okay, where
are you spending your time?
And then we look at, well, whatare your goals?
Right?
So if your goals are to, youknow, acquire this next
location, or your goals are togo through an acquisition or
your goals are to exit, or yourgoals is to expand and build new
(15:08):
property, or your goals is tomaintain the number of students.
You have, whatever your goal is,no judgment on your goal.
Your goal is your goal.
Some my goal I'm the coach.
My job is to help provide acontainer and an, uh, a, um, a
space for you to recognize whatis your next step?
What do you actually need to do?
And help you remove the mindsetblocks that are stopping you
from getting there.
(15:28):
So once you've identified thegoal, now we look at, okay, does
your calendar align with yourgoal?
100% of the time?
It doesn't right.
So these are your goals, butyour calendar, isn't going to
get you to where you want to go.
So now we need to go ahead.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt you,but it, is there anything that
comes to mind, like as anexample of that, when you, when
you have a customer that says,Hey, look, this is my goal.
And you reviewing the calendarwith them.
Can you give an example of likesure, something on your calendar
that doesn't align with yourgoal?
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Yeah.
So I, I had a client in 2018 whojoined us and, uh, she, you
know, told me that her goal wasto build, she had one location
at the time and she wanted tohave three locations.
So I said, great, great goal.
Right?
So we look at her calendar andher calendar is 50% of her time.
She was still teaching in theclassroom mm-hmm
So she was the owner and she wasalso in the classroom.
(16:17):
And I said, my love, if youwanna build three locations, you
gotta get yourself out of theclassroom.
Within the next 60 days, youhave to replace yourself.
You have to hire a teacher andyou have to get out of that
classroom.
So that's one example, right?
Another example is, you know,and she owns four locations by
the way.
Now, um, another example is, youknow, someone said that they
want to, um, they wanted toenroll 30 more children.
(16:39):
So they had, I don't know, 90kids or whatever it is.
They wanted like 120 kids.
Um, but what she was doing inher activity every day was she
was going into the classroomsand she was spending time with
teachers and schmoozing andtalking, and then, you know,
spending two hours at thecarpool line in the morning or
whatever it is.
And I'm like, Hey, if this isyour goal, guess what you have
(17:01):
to do.
Your ear has to be glued to aphone.
And you've got to be doing callswith parents and tours.
Um, and within 30 days sheenroll 30 kids.
Literally it was 30 days.
Right?
So, so many times when you lookat our goal and we're like, oh,
I can never achieve that.
And it's like, no, no, no.
You need to understand whereyou're spending your time.
And then you can hit your goals.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah.
That's amazing.
And so then you go through,you're looking at calendars,
you're talking about what theirgoals, it sounds like that's one
of the mm-hmm,
customers you work.
Yeah.
Cause am, am I right to like,this is a generalization, but if
I'm a childcare owner, I'mcoming to you.
Cuz I say, I, I just wanna keeppronouncing your name too, by
the way, honey.
Yeah.
Um, I, I hope I'm getting alittle closer.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
You are, you are, you're getting better.
You're getting better, Ryan.
You're
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Good guys.
I'm gonna keep practicing.
Um, so I would come to you and Iwould say, you know, I, I, I,
I've got your name from acolleague or a peer who, you
know, said that you did amazingthings for their school.
And, and here's what I'mstruggling with.
I'm trying to do these thingsand I keep hitting, uh, uh, a
wall or there's too manyhurdles.
And so they come to you justsaying, Hey, can you support me
and assist me with, with tryingto resolve this?
(18:08):
Is that, is that a fair, likeanalysis of how that starts?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
We have two types of people that come to us.
We have some people that arecoming.
Cause they're really strugglingwith retention with staff, with,
with, um, culture, with just,there's just so much going on.
Right?
And then we have another groupof people who they've achieved a
certain level of success.
They're doing well.
They know, you know how tomarket, they know how to enroll.
They know how to get people inthe door.
(18:32):
They're good.
Um, but they're looking for ahigher level conversation.
They're looking for a betterpeer group.
They're looking for how to makethings a little bit easier, more
streamlined, um, have moresystems and operations.
And they're looking for anetwork, right?
They feel lonely.
They feel like they're isolated.
And so they're looking for anetwork.
So those are really the twotypes of people that will come
to us.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
I always tell people, I don't help people with
marketing.
So, you know, if you'restruggling with, uh, filling
your spots, I'm not that person.
Right.
Um, cuz I don't teach marketing.
I will teach you how to organizeyour calendar, um, which will
help with your marketing.
Um, but we don't teach marketingstrategy.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Got it.
Yeah.
Not the specific tactical pieceof SEO and you know, all the
market.
Got it.
And then, so let's talkspecifically about, and, and I,
I say this on so many of ourepisodes, I, it feels like
around staffing and, andchallenges that schools and
providers are having in thecurrent, you know, environment
we're in, uh, how, talk to me alittle bit about your role, your
(19:33):
focus on career pathing and howyou've seen that influence staff
retention, those types ofthings.
I think that's a, a topic youspend a lot of time, you know,
discussing.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Yeah.
Before I go into a career path,I wanna talk about something
else.
Um, about staffing, there aretwo, there there's a lot, but I
would say there's two mindsetshifts that leaders need to make
that dramatically impact yourstaffing crisis.
One is a reset of expectation.
The expectation that we have ofstaff coming in, or staff
(20:06):
performing or staff doing, whatthey're supposed to do is not
only ridiculously high.
It's not, it's not humanlynormal.
It's just not your ex.
Like I talk to directors and,and she's like, this teacher's
struggling.
I'm like how many days has shebeen on the job?
So she's like, she's been herefor a month.
I'm like, okay.
So, but there was alsoThanksgiving and this, so she's
(20:27):
worked for like seven days totalin the last month.
Okay, great.
The last time I checked when Idid something for seven days, I
wasn't an expert yet.
Right?
So there's, there's a lack of anawareness of the learning curve
of the journey.
Right?
Um, Malcolm GA um, Gladwell hasa great quote.
(20:48):
He says, mastery is 10,000hours.
Mm-hmm
10,000 hours.
If you take an average,teacher's Workday.
If she's working 40 hours a weekor 35 hours a week, that is six
years, six years of working todevelop mastery.
So yeah, the person who'slistening to this episode has
(21:10):
more than six years after aboutmultiple decades.
Right?
And then you have a new teacherwho's coming in.
Who's 21 years old.
She has no experience, noexposure to children, no
understanding of developmentallyappropriate practice.
She has a passion.
She has a love, she wants to bewith kids.
Do you understand her learningcurve?
Like sh her nervous system, likeshe hears three kids crying and
(21:33):
she's like, oh my God, what do Ido next?
Like she doesn't, she's not evenfamiliar with the sound of
children crying or the fact thatit's normal for kids to cry when
they separate from their parentsor it's normal for kids to not
walk in a straight line all thetime.
You know?
And it's normal for kids to missthe garbage can or miss the
toilet bowl.
Like they, there's all of theselittle things that teachers are
(21:56):
completely unaware of.
And they get super frustratedthemselves where they're like,
oh my God, there's toilet paperon the floor.
Yeah.
You teach two year olds.
There's gonna be toilet paper onthe floor.
You know?
And then the owner gets upset.
She's like the classrooms arerep.
I'm like, yeah, there's 18 twoyear olds in that classroom.
It is not a museum it's livedin.
Like we have to redo ourexpectations because when I hear
(22:20):
leaders tell me things like,well, I just high the
expectation.
I'm like, no, you don't, you'rea perfectionist.
You don't have highexpectations.
You're a perfectionist.
And you are putting yourperfectionism on the people.
So stop don't do that.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Don't do that.
That's number one.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yeah.
Check yourself and ask yourselfis what I'm asking appropriate
for this person.
Cuz here's the other thing thatowners and directors get stuck
on?
Well, everything has to be fair.
Everything has to be equal.
Every needs to be treated thesame.
No they don't.
The veteran teacher knows how todo this.
So then you don't give her asmuch grace when she makes a
(22:55):
mistake.
Right?
Because no, no, no.
You, you know this versus thenew teacher.
Right?
I don't treat all my kids thesame.
My 10 year old knows it's notokay to do certain things.
My four year old is stilllearning.
Right.
Could you imagine if I respondedthe same way to each of them,
that's not parenting.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
So do you start, you know, um, when you meet with a
new owner all the time, thosetwo things that you just
mentioned, like you've gottalower your expectations and you
have
Speaker 3 (23:23):
To, and they're not lower.
You need to make yourexpectations developmentally
appropriate.
I don't wanna, I don't wanna saylower because I want you to have
high standards.
I want you to have high values.
I want you to believe in thepursuit of excellence and I want
you to do it without chaos andcrisis and stress.
And the way to do that is justconstantly manage expectation.
(23:45):
Right?
So that's the first thing
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I like that clarification.
Yeah.
We're not lowering expectations.
We're setting a really highstandard, but we're using the
right progression to get thereand then measuring our staff
based on where they are in thatjourney.
And, and to your point, thesecond thing.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry, sorry.
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
No, that's what I was gonna say.
And the second thing is, iswhat,
Speaker 3 (24:05):
The second thing is the hardest, because no one
wants to do this.
And, and, and what no one wantsto do is take care of
themselves.
They want to constantly takecare of other people, right?
Let me give you what you need.
Let me take care of you.
Let me jump in and you know, runthat shift for you.
Let me give by you lunch.
Let me give you the day off.
(24:26):
And what they don't understandis when you learn how to take
care of yourself and understandthat the only person you're in
control of is you.
The only person you're incontrol of is you, you cannot
manipulate exploit, control,exploit any of your staff.
I mean you could, but theythey'll leave.
Um, you can only controlyourself.
(24:47):
And so you need to understandwhat are the activities that
center you, that ground you,that take care of you.
So when you come into thebuilding, you are centered, you
have confidence, you haveprecision of decision making.
You're clear on what you need tofocus on today.
You know, when to tell ateacher, I'm gonna get back to
(25:09):
you.
I wanna think about that for 24hours versus another teacher.
You know what?
Come into my office right now,let's work through that.
You have what it takes topractice discernment.
And the way to do that is youhave to be aware of what grounds
you and so many leaders don't dothe little things that ground
them every day, cuz they're likeI'm in survival mode.
I can't do it.
(25:30):
No, no, no.
The way you get into survivalmode is by forgetting what
grounds you, you have to do that
Speaker 2 (25:36):
In your experience as you talk, cuz I listened to you
kind of share that second pointand it you're obviously
passionate about it.
So am I right to assume?
Is that a pretty common yes.
Issue.
If that's the right term thatyou see when you first talk with
owners is that's alwayssomething that's on the table.
You're not prioritizing takingcare of yourself.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
It's always on the table because the owner starts,
you know, with hustle and gritand all those things and
actually build a center.
But if you wanna sustain thecenter, you have to be able to
ground yourself.
Because when you hit a higherlevel, you, the quality of your
decision making is going todetermine the quality of success
in your center.
The qu the, your, your center'ssuccess is not determined if you
(26:19):
plunge that toilet that day, orif you gave little Sammy a kiss,
it doesn't, the quality of yourcenter is determined by your
decision making.
And you cannot make cleardiscerning decisions.
If you did not take care ofyourself.
Um, and we don't take care ofourselves, cuz we feel guilty
and, and, and all the stuff thatI coach on, right?
But I had a conversation thismorning with a client and she's
(26:41):
like, well, I didn't do allthese things.
And then I said, but why she'slike, cuz there are
enhancements.
Like I don't, I don't feel likeI have to do them.
I'm like, no, no, no.
There's enhancements likegetting a monthly massage as
part of your wellness routine,having someone cook your dinner,
getting a cleaning lady, youknow, a few times a week, those
are enhancements.
And then there's grounded.
(27:01):
Centerness meditation, yoga,prayer.
If you know, if, if, if that'spart of it, exercise, eating,
healthy, drinking, water,sleeping.
If you are not doing thosethings, those are not
enhancements.
Those are regular centeredactivities.
You must do every day.
If you're gonna play at thislevel
Speaker 2 (27:22):
As a BA as a baseline.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
But if you wanna play at this level, you gotta operate
at this level.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
And this level, just for those who don't see this,
that's a high level.
She's, it's
Speaker 3 (27:32):
A high level,
Speaker 2 (27:33):
A high level.
So thanks.
Here's a question for you whenyou're talking with, with
somebody and you say, Hey, look,you've gotta find the things in
your life.
That ground you, that centeryou, that bring life out of you.
Yeah.
You know, when I hear somebodysay that, I, I think like how
does somebody find that?
Like, is, are there sometechniques that you found, like
if somebody were to say like,Hey, that sounds awesome.
(27:54):
I would love to find the thingsthat really are my, my center,
my grounding.
How did somebody identify that?
Like what should they look for?
Is there an exercise that theycould do to identify those
things?
Speaker 3 (28:06):
So I'm gonna tell you a story.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Love it.
I love stories.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
I just put on my big event in, um, March, so about,
you know, almost three monthsago.
And um, so our annual event forowners and directors and one of
the ways that I prepare when Itake the stage for big events is
I work a lot on my breathingtechnique.
Why?
Because when you're standing onstage for those who are
listening, that have been onstages, the sensory stimuli of
(28:32):
the lights of the cameras, ofthe AV of just all of the
sensory stimuli that's coming onto you really impairs your
functioning in your brain, cuzit's a constant stimuli.
And then if you also have toentertain, your brain is
constantly fighting againstwhat's going on.
Like you have to member,remember what you wanna say, but
you have these bright lightscoming at you, you have people
looking at you.
(28:53):
And so the way to constantlykeep your brain at peak
performance is to make sureyou're pausing and taking a
breath, literally taking abreath and it brings oxygen back
to your brain.
Okay.
So I was talking to a client ofmine who was at the event and
she said, I noticed that everyonce in a while you would take
this big breath and then youwould like continue speaking.
(29:15):
But there was always like, youalways make sure to take this
breath.
And she's like, I, I really lovethat.
And I started incorporating thatinto my day and whenever I feel
overwhelmed, I would take thisbreath.
And then after the pause, Iwould have this clarity of like,
okay, now I need to do this andI don't need to do this.
And she was talking about justhow it impacted her life.
(29:36):
Like she started working fromhome now twice a week, instead
of coming into the center, sheworks from home now twice a week
from the breath, the pause.
Okay.
So for those of you that arelistening and I'm like, how do I
find out what grounds me?
You find it in the space, in thequiet, you need to turn off
notifications.
(29:56):
You need to sit quietly withyourself.
You need space.
And that is where it comes toyou.
It's inside of you.
We are so busy running aroundchasing our own tails.
We don't even have space tolisten when our body says, sit,
drink, rest, go outside.
(30:17):
Right.
Our body is telling us, but wedon't hear it.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah.
I, I like that.
And, and what, what you'resaying from a coaching
standpoint, find that it startswith you.
You have to be, you know,however you define that the best
version of yourself and findwhat brings life out of you so
that you can then lead yourteam.
Transition that for me.
(30:41):
So once you've kind of laid thatfoundation with an owner or all
right, it starts with you only,you can only control the things
that you can control and you getthat baseline.
Then as you transition intolike, all right, let's tackle
this challenge of staffing.
Mm-hmm,
you're doing with your customersright now around that topic, if
(31:04):
you could.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Yeah, absolutely.
So again, it depends on whereyou are in the journey, but
let's, let's say you're in thebeginning of the journey.
Um, the first things that we'reworking on when it comes to
staffing is something that Icall the gratitude beat tricks.
So I have a whole episode onthis, on our podcast as well.
It's episode three on theschools of excellence podcast.
And gratitude is the foundationof building great cultures
(31:24):
because fundamentally we havehuman needs, right?
We want to be, feel seen, heardDes um, um, noticed we wanna be
missed.
We like when I wasn't here, didanyone notice that I wasn't here
even, you know?
Um, and so how do we build thatinto our teams?
The first step is teachers needto know that you care about
(31:45):
them, that you see their hardwork.
And so the gratitude matrix isabout understanding that every
teacher needs one touchpoint ofgratitude per month and that's
at the bare minimum.
Um, and by gratitude, I do notmean buying them book classes
and gift cards.
I mean actually telling themwhether that's a handwritten
card or a voice message, and wehave a whole system of how to do
(32:07):
this.
We have someone who has 50teachers that does this.
So anyone who's listening to uslike, oh, that that would be
great if you have, you know, asmall school.
No, no, no, no.
She has 50 teachers and she doesthis every month with all her
staff.
Why?
Because it's a priority of howshe uses her time.
She understands that when I dothis, all of these other things
(32:28):
fall into place.
Right.
Um, so that's the first thingwhen it comes to staffing is, is
gratitude.
Because when staff feel seen andheard, they will step, they will
step up in a way that you neverthought possible.
Right?
So that's the first thing, butlet's say you're doing
gratitude, right?
Cause we have a lot of clientswho've been with us for four or
five years at this point.
(32:48):
Right.
And they're doing itconsistently.
The next thing that we'relooking at is one-on-one
meetings consistently runningone-on-ones and one-on-s are not
performance reviews.
They're not curriculum meetings.
They are not check-ins.
One on ones are connecting withyour teacher and asking her,
what did you do for self-care inthe last 24 hours?
(33:11):
Where are you going for theholiday break?
Tell me how your mom is doing.
I know the last time we spoke,she wasn't, well, your brother's
wedding's coming up.
What are you wearing?
Can you tell me about that?
Right?
How's your son doing?
Right.
I know you moved recently.
How is that settling in?
Right.
You're talking to them nowpeople are listening.
(33:32):
I'm like, oh, I do this all thetime.
I'm like, no, no, no, no.
This is not a hallwayconversation of like, Hey, so
you're wearing that black gown.
Great, gorgeous.
No, no, no.
This is not a fly byconversation.
This is not a conversation thatwe do in the ladies' room.
When we're washing our handsafter the bathroom, this is not
a conversation that we do at thecoffee.
You know, at the coffee bar, in,in the teacher's lounge, this is
a conversation that's eye to eye, toes to toes in the office,
(33:55):
just you and her, all browsersclosed door is closed.
Notifications are off, you get20 minutes of me that builds
intimacy connection.
And that is where you build theemotional bank account where
when you need to hold peopleaccountable and you need to tell
'em things like, Hey, I need youto work on your circle time,
(34:17):
right?
Or the way that you spoke tothat parent was not aligned with
our values.
I'd love to role play with you.
Another way to approach thatconversation.
Right now you've built emotionalcurrency where she's like, yeah,
Ryan really does like me.
He really does care about me.
I really do wanna do this forhim.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
And then you can hold to that level of standard that
you're talking about earlier.
Exactly.
But it starts with, if I replaywhat you said, it can't go in
reverse.
You, you can't set everything uparound, uh, this is what you
gotta do.
And this is what, how you needto perform.
And then as a byproduct, I'mgonna try to get to know you
because that people see throughthat, you gotta carry well,
Speaker 3 (34:57):
It's manipulation, that's manipulation.
That's, that's the definition ofmanipulation.
And, and here's the thing alsois that people are listening to
this saying they're like, but Idon't have time to do all of
that cuz I still need them toperform.
And when, when people say thatto me, I'm always like, I
understand it means you'reovercommitted.
If you don't have the time topause and slow down and have
these conversations, you'redoing too much, you have to
(35:21):
stop.
You need to slow down.
Um, and people are terrifiedabout I'm gonna lose money.
I'm gonna lose a run thenumbers.
You're not gonna lose money.
You're not gonna make as muchprofit or as much whatever.
Okay.
At what cost, right.
You're gonna continue to runthis thing until when.
Right?
Like we have to understand, youhave to pause.
(35:43):
You have to say no to thetemptation of whatever else is
out there for six months, 12months, and then go out there.
You'll come back for it.
But you have to have thediscipline to say, not now, now
I need to do this.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Yeah.
And, and then from yourexperience, that component that
you're talking about in termsof, you know, building culture
and recruiting other teammembers and retaining your
talent, uh, all of those thingsbecome a byproduct like that.
That success story happens fromprioritizing connection with
your staff.
(36:18):
Like, I mean, I, I know I'moversimplifying it, but no,
Speaker 3 (36:21):
You're, it's not, it's not an oversimplification.
It's more about most peopledon't have the patience to see
it all the way through.
And so they do it for threemonths and that they're not
getting results.
So they stop.
And if you think aboutgenerational wealth, financial
freedom, real fitness wellness,any like really hard goal to
(36:43):
achieve it, doesn't get achievedin three months, six months, 12
months, a person who really losta significant amount of weight
and kept it off.
That was years of work ofmindset, work of deep work of,
of discipline, of changing, whothey are as a person, right?
Someone who builds generationalwealth that no longer is in debt
(37:04):
ever again is fundamentally adifferent human being.
And so we don't have thepatience.
We don't have the discipline tostick with it.
We want the result faster.
And, and this is one of mythings.
When I tell people on the phonebefore they work with me, I'm
like, I will not give youinstant results.
You're gonna see quick wins whenyou work with me in the
(37:25):
beginning, because I'm gonnahelp you organize your calendar.
And you're, you're gonnaautomatically see a ripple
effect.
But the real work takes months.
This is, this is a processbecause the person who enters my
program is not the person wholeaves the program.
It's a completely differenthuman being.
They make decisions differently.
They think about differentthings.
(37:46):
They have different values.
They show up to conversationsdifferently.
They make different decisions.
Their marriages are different atthe end.
Their relationship with theirchildren are different.
They are a different person.
If you wanna be a differentperson, a better version of
yourself, then this is amazing.
But if you're looking fortactics, they're free, you don't
have to pay for it.
Tactics are free becoming a newperson.
(38:09):
You have to do the work
Speaker 2 (38:11):
And the tactics will follow in.
In, in your relationship withyour clients, it starts there.
How, how do you set that up withyour clients outta curiosity?
We we've talked with differentcoaches and consultants and
experts around, you know, theirbusiness model and their
approach.
But I'm curious for you.
Yeah.
When you start working with aclient, do you actually lay out
like, Hey, a, a timeline andwhat benchmarks we're looking
(38:33):
for?
How do we measure sure.
The success of thisrelationship.
And then you mentioned when theyfinish your course, it, but it
also sounds like you haveongoing relationship as well.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
Yeah.
People since 2017, who's, who'vebeen working with us.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Got it.
And so it's both.
So it's both like, Hey, I, I,you know, you really help me
out.
And I feel like there was a lotof value and I'm gonna now take
that and go kind of, you know,carry on.
And then there's what does thatlook like?
How do you know when the work isdone?
Or is that just something youwork on with your clients
together?
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Yeah, that's such a great question.
So we have benchmarks, meaningwe say the first 60 days, your
goal is to get your calendar inorder and to understand how to
start prioritizing within yourfirst 90 days, your goal is to
start creating your gratitudematrix and get consistent about
it.
So that you've laid thefoundation for gratitude.
Within the first four months, wewant you to build a better
communication system with youradministrative team.
So we have multiple differentframeworks that we help them
(39:26):
work through how to actuallybuild better communication
between the administrative teamto just loose ends, follow
through task completion.
All of those little things weteach you how to follow through
with that by the six month mark,we want you to understand how to
do performance reviews, one onones, classroom observations,
just the infrastructure to raisethe quality of care.
(39:47):
Um, then we start working onparent relationships.
So we have like a whole, um,roadmap, if you will, of what we
take clients through through thefirst 12 months.
Um, but the way that we reallydetermine like, you know, who is
ready to move on, who's not,it's a really very much client
base.
So the client decides, you know,I have decided I've gone as far
as I wanna go with you.
(40:07):
And then, you know, we partways, whereas other people are
like, I wanna go deeper.
I wanna go a lever, you know, alayer deeper.
I wanna go further.
The other reason why people stayin just the way that we've built
our infrastructure is we'rebuilt around community.
So people we're training,coaching, and community.
So we have training, we docoaching and then we have
communities.
So we partner people togetherwith people in similar seasons
(40:30):
of life, similar stages ofbusiness, um, similar goals.
And we do multiple differentexercises and challenges to help
people find community.
Um, we know that it's lone onlyat the top.
You know, we understand theworst punishment is solitary
confinement.
And yet every school leadervoluntarily says, I'm gonna sign
up for some solitary confinementfor the rest of my life, right?
(40:52):
Like I'm gonna do this allalone.
And the antithesis to beinglonely is being in community is
finding belonging.
And so that's a big part of whatwe've created in our, in schools
of excellence.
If you ask anyone, like, they'lltell you the people, the
community, like I've madefriends there, lifelong friends.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Yeah.
That's amazing.
I actually was listening to, Idon't know how recent it was,
but it was some content that youput out talking about loneliness
and, and how you were sayinglike the medical community has
actually identified thatloneliness as is as detrimental
to your health as like smoking15 cigarettes a day, I think was
(41:31):
the statistic you said, so it's,it's not just like, Hey, it
doesn't feel good.
It, it actually has a physical,emotional, psychological toll on
an individual.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
Yeah.
We, I mean, I see it in amembership.
I see the people who stayisolated, right.
Even though they come in, theychoose to stay isolated.
They, we, we encourage it somuch to get connected, but some
people just don't do it.
They do not get results.
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Interesting.
They,
Speaker 3 (41:58):
They make some incremental progress, but the
quantum leaps, like the, thepeople that just like completely
transform are the people whomake relationships and it's not
by accident.
Right.
Because when you're in communityand you don't feel alone, your
confidence in yourselfskyrockets, so you tackle risks
(42:20):
in a totally different way.
You believe in yourself in adifferent way.
So when opportunity comes thatyou're like, I got this as
opposed to when you're allalone, you're like, I don't know
.
Can I do it?
Can I not?
Can I do it?
Can I not?
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Yeah.
And I
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Do realize the impact of that realize how that impacts
us.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
Yeah.
That's really that resonateswith me because I also, you
know, I know you're a bigadvocate of like doing hard
things.
Like, you know, something thatfeels hard to you or difficult.
I talk with my team about thisall the time as well.
I think the difference betweenbeing good and great in a role
oftentimes is individuals whoidentify what those hard things
are and learn how to lean intoit.
(42:57):
I think human nature is you shyaway and you try to find reasons
not to do them or ways aroundthem.
But when you find somebody who'slike, Hey, that's actually a
really difficult part of the jobor a really difficult thing for
me to do for my personality.
But I also know that that's whatI have to do to get to the next
level or to grow like when, sofor those individuals that
(43:18):
struggle with connection andcommunity, it might be like,
Hey, that's hard for you.
But if you lean into it, thefruit of that is gonna be, you
know, so huge and profound.
So that's a really good segue.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
I'll just add one more thing there.
It's not, you know, the personwho's listening, like, okay, so
I'll lean into it.
Here's, here's what it is.
If you can expand your capacityto tolerate discomfort at the
root of that, right?
Like at the root of all, thereasons why we don't do hard
(43:49):
things, right?
Why don't I call the friend?
Why don't I reach out to theperson?
Why don't I go to the gym?
Why don't I not eat thecheesecake or whatever?
I don't wanna tolerate thediscomfort.
The pain is too great.
Right?
I'm very, I'm gonna be ashamed.
I'm gonna be whatever it is.
Right.
All the emotions.
If you can learn to trainyourself, to tolerate discomfort
for longer periods of time, thisis like this golden key that
(44:15):
unlocks where it's like, okay,I'm gonna be a little bit
uncomfortable, but I'm gonnahave made the call.
Right.
I'm gonna be a little bituncomfortable, but I may, I, you
know, I did the outreach I did.
And, and we, we don't know howto tolerate that discomfort.
We immediately numb it.
Take cigarette, take the wine,take the phone, take whatever.
Right.
All the vices, right?
(44:35):
No, no, numb it right away.
I don't wanna feel discomfort.
I don't wanna feel pain if youcan tolerate it for longer.
Gosh, like you just opened upthe gates of freedom for
yourself because you are goingto pursue things that people
will never touch.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
Yeah.
Don't just go up to the line andretrieve when it's
uncomfortable.
Yeah.
But yeah.
And, and I think that's actuallywhat you said is really
interesting.
It's not like you have to go runa marathon the day you start
running.
It's like little by little, justgo a little further and tolerate
a little bit more.
And if I heard you right.
That mindset and thatwillingness to endure just a
(45:14):
little bit more unlocks, so muchpotential that people have.
So that that's a really goodsegue.
Cause I also wanna be reallyrespectful of your time.
You've given us, you know, 50minutes of your time.
And I know you mentioned you hada hard stop, but I would like to
give our audience, um, you know,an opportunity to, to, to find
you, if people wanted to reachout or tap into what you guys do
(45:35):
, uh, at, at your organizationat your company.
So can you share a little bitabout if somebody listening to
this episode wanted to reach outor learn more about the work you
do?
How, how can our audience findyou?
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Sure.
Thanks so much, Ryan.
Yeah.
So there's a number of differentways, depending on what you
know, you're, you'reconsidering.
So if you're look, if you listento that episode and you're like,
I want more content like this, Iwanna hear more of what Connie
has to say on, on these topics.
We have our podcast, the schoolsof excellence podcasts, um,
where I do basically all of theepisodes.
We've had very few guests.
(46:08):
I do mostly the content on myown.
Um, right now we are doing, um,an entire series on you're not
the only one.
And so we have a special serieswhere we've interviewed, um,
multiple owners and leaderssharing their personal stories
so that when you listen, youunderstand, you're not the only
one.
Um, so that's a super excitingseries that we are excited to
(46:29):
launch.
We have some other series thereon ordinary moments.
Um, so just really great contentwhere you can learn and
understand you're not the onlyone and you will figure this out
and you're gonna be okay.
So that's the first thing from acontent perspective.
If you're looking for you wannaget connected with schools of
excellence, you wanna work withour organization.
Um, you could go to h.me/jointhe DIC.
(46:51):
We'll give that, that linkinside the show notes.
And that gives you all theinformation on our schools of
excellence coaching program, ourdirectors in our circle, our
owner HQ program, where we workwith directors and owners.
Um, and this is for the personwho's like, yes, I need
training.
I want coaching.
I want community.
I really, really want to beconnected.
(47:12):
Um, and I want someone to helpguide me to shorten my learning
curve so that I can enjoy theprocess.
So I can be part of this and notfeel like every day is like, oh
my gosh, like, can I make itthrough today?
Yes, you, can you have thatinside of you?
So I would say those are the twoplaces that I would send, uh,
your listeners.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Excellent.
And, and look, this has been forme a lot of fun because the
first time we've met was like 30seconds before we started
recording and really enjoyedlearning more about you.
And, um, so honey was, was Kywas Chansky
Speaker 3 (47:45):
Ky.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Yeah.
And she'll, um, you know, Iwould encourage the audience,
like people who heard anythingon the show, even if it's giving
feedback or, or relayingsomething that was helpful.
Like it's always nice when wehave a guest that can receive,
you know, commentary or feedbackabout how their content was
helpful, but reach out to, to,uh, you know, honey as well, if
(48:06):
you are interested in what theydo.
And then maybe at some point inthe future, we'll get a, a round
two with you, cuz it's been alot of fun.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
I would absolutely love to do that.
I've been on a lot of podcast,Ron, you're a brilliant
interviewer.
I really enjoyed thisconversation.
Um, so I would absolutely loveto do a part two at some point
and we could dig more into someother, um, topics and we spent a
lot of time on the history andthings like that, but um, happy
to come back to chat aboutanything.
So thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
Absolutely.
I will look forward to it andeverybody have a wonderful day.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
Thank you for listening to this episode of the
childcare business podcast, toget more insights on ways to
succeed in your childcarebusiness, make sure to hit
subscribe in your podcast app.
So you never miss an episode.
And if you want even morechildcare business tips, tricks
and strategies, head over to ourresource
center@procaresoftware.com untilnext time.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.