#116 - Samua Azevedo Kormanik - Model/Actress/Life Coach

Hello Friends

In this engaging conversation, Samua Kormanik shares her multifaceted life journey, from her musical roots in the 90s to her experiences as a parent of a child with autism. The discussion delves into cultural insights, the impact of technology on communication, and the challenges of navigating employment for special needs individuals. Samua also reflects on her modeling career and the immigrant experience, emphasizing the importance of support systems and holistic approaches to health and wellness.

In this conversation, the speakers explore various themes including the evolution of news and entertainment, personal stories of overcoming childhood trauma, the journey of self-discovery, and the pressures of parenting. They discuss the myth of the midlife crisis, the importance of trying and learning from experiences, and the reality of rejection in pursuing dreams. The conversation also touches on the role of trauma in shaping lives and the significance of embracing change and growth. Finally, they share insights into upcoming projects and aspirations.

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Episode Transcript

(00:04):
They won't hear us talking. Together.
Well, when I put it back in, Oh yeah, hello.
I always bring the volume down 50%.
OK, it always kind of skips right there.
It was a demo, buddy. It was a demo, everybody.

(00:28):
This is actually us playing. Is it really?
That's awesome. I was about to ask if this was
like, you know, actual like original music.
This is ours. Nice.
If you came to see us play live in the 90s, that would have been
the first song you would have heard every night.
So you guys used to have a band in the 90s?
We did first with the same way I'm playing guitar on that.

(00:49):
Oh, I love it. Good boys and girls go with
Chris and Mike show. I'm Chris, he's Mike, and you
can find this on Instagram or Facebook, YouTube, and actually
we're on live YouTube right now working on the Chris and
mikeshow.com website. And with us today we have some
WAH. One person one time said this to
me and it stuck with me. She's like, oh, it sounds like a

(01:10):
kiss. That's my thought too.
That's my thought too. You know some wah, you have to
exaggerate it too, right? Some wah.
You can't, you know. Now I noticed, I know I did a
little Facebook stock and you speak Portuguese.
Yes, I'm originally from Brazil,was born, was born there, raised
there at the beginning of my life.
The majority of my family is still there.

(01:31):
So yeah, I'm fluent in Portuguese.
And then I can also speak Spanish just because it's wow,
close enough to Portuguese, although it's interesting.
So Brazilian Portuguese speakers, like if we listen to
Telemundo or something and Spanish people are speaking slow
enough, like we can pick up about 90% of what they're
saying. It doesn't work the other way.

(01:51):
Hispanics, Spanish speaking people could not understand
Portuguese. So it's kind of an interesting
dynamic. Really.
Here's a question. I don't know why that is.
OK, so I work with a lady. Go ahead.
I work with a lady whose family is from Mexico every day.
So I'll be curious to see what her take on that is, because
we've talked a little bit about that subject, but I can't

(02:12):
remember what. I have never come across like a
Hispanic person who hasn't studied Portuguese.
Obviously it's different if theystudy Portuguese but just like
cold Turkey, Brazilians can understand like I said 7580% of
Spanish if they speak slow enough, but it it never works
the other way. That's.
Fascinating. So my question here is, Mike,

(02:34):
are we in? Are we in?
Where's Portuguese? No, where Brazil?
Are we in Brazil? No, I'm in Ohio.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Meaning our show, we're in 20 countries.
I'm asking Mike, are we? In Brazil.
I don't think Portugal or Brazilis on the list.
Oh, we got to make that happen. Well, because now that's why I
was leading it, see, because you're up here on the screen.
So I'm I'm telling you now, you have to make sure your family

(02:55):
tunes in when we put your episode.
Yeah, I'll plug, I'll plug the show away.
And I also have a brother in Luxembourg, so we'll get you
guys in, you know, all over the.Place.
That's awesome. We're in 20 countries.
We would like to be in 200 so. That would be fun.
That would be fun. Yeah, we're trying to get
everybody from the countries that are are listening to us to
join us, but it's harder than you would think.
Yeah, you know, the nice thing now is like with cap cut, you

(03:17):
can just do the auto translate at the bottom.
So even though we're speaking inPortuguese, you can have cap cut
auto translate into, I mean, we're speaking in English, you
can have auto cap cut translate into Portuguese and it's like
90% OK. Like you know, it might miss a
few like in between the lines orlike slang type of stuff but

(03:38):
does a pretty good job. Cool, yeah, we use this is all
through an app called Riverside FM.
So they do everything the. Artificial.
Intelligence breaks it all down and has all the captions.
Everything. I use captions for my own
business stuff. I have cap cut but I find
captions is a little bit more user friendly for me anyway.
I don't know. That's good to know, but.
Captions. Captions does the same thing.
It can do different languages. I'm gonna.

(03:59):
Have to keep that in mind though, that I could bring it
down to my desktop and actually put the translation on there.
That's really cool. Yeah, cuz then people can hear
it in the if you have guests from different countries, even
if the obviously the podcast is in English, you should just
translate it to their natural language.
That would be awesome. I'm going to have to look into
how to do that. That could be cool doing doing
some shorts put up. Take one short, take the zombie

(04:20):
short Mike. We we could put all the
different languages for all the different countries and we can
we can tag. Them we're going to make that.
Happen. I like it.
Thank you for the suggestion, I like it.
Nice. Yeah, No problem.
I don't know where we're going. My job here is done.
We're done with the cats now. Leave it on high note.
While I'm on top. George casting You ever watched

(04:40):
Seinfeld? He's going.
To leave him on a high note, leave him hanging.
So we we have a listener that tuned in right at the beginning.
His name's Michael, he said. Hey guys, looking forward to
this show, so. Hey, Michael.
Michael. Other than me?
Did you just plug in onto your other device, Mike?
No, I wish I could take credit for that.

(05:01):
We also stream on on a on a thing called Twitch.
So it's on Twitch and YouTube every time we go live.
And because we have, we've increased our following since
March from about 23,000 all the way up.
We're close in 120 a 120. Five years.
That's awesome. Our.
Subscribers have jumped from. About 6000% in the last 10 days
for some weird reason. But the benefit of that is

(05:24):
because we have shorts, I have shorts scheduled twice a day and
I'm actually moving them to three times a day because we
have so many shorts that that italerts.
Like we had a musician on Joseph, originally from Canada,
now he's in Oklahoma, that he'd been following us from the
beginning and we didn't know that.
We had no idea till he was on the show.
And then he was like I. Love your show, I've been
listening to it for a long time now.

(05:45):
Which? It's so awesome.
It is. It's very cool.
Yeah, so that was fun. So I was, I was like in Facebook
stalking a little bit. You're married.
You got kids. Five kids.
Five kids. Five kids, yeah, so.
That keeps you busy. It does.
So I have four teenagers and then a toddler.
Yeah, let me tell you, having teenagers and a toddler at the

(06:06):
same time, Not for the week apart, like definitely not, no.
I mean, you have you have a benefit of four teenagers
helping look out for the toddler.
You think in theory, right? Are you saying that doesn't work
out that way? It depends on which teenager
we're talking about. OK, OK.
What are the What are the ages of the kids?

(06:27):
So the baby is 3 1/2 and then mythis is my second marriage.
So she's my and my husband's kid.
She's his only child. And then the older 4, they're
almost 161718 and 20. And the 18 year old is she's
kind of severely autistic. You wouldn't when she was

(06:48):
diagnosed back in 2010, the way that the diagnosis worked, and I
haven't dived into the details of that anymore.
It used to be that like where you fell in the spectrum
depended on how big of a gap it was between what you could do
and what a typical person at that same age as you could do.
And so. So it could be it was a
progressive diagnosis. You could start as mild if you

(07:09):
were diagnosed at 2 1/2 because obviously what a typical 2 1/2
year old can do is a lot less than what you expect a 10 year
old to do. So she's considered so really
autistic. That's been quite the journey
with her. She has we both her and I, it
was, it's been, you know, a parttime job for me and she works
really hard and we have a phenomenal team around her.

(07:30):
I fought really hard to kind of fight through treatment options
and, and we've kept everything holistic mostly with her, as
well as just great therapist andsuch, you know, team A-Team that
really believes in seeing where she can go versus being stuck
where she is. And so she's come such a long
way from she progressed into autism.
And so she's come such a long way from being the kid who was

(07:51):
like smearing shit all over. A quick question.
Yeah, not to interrupt you, but without I know you could do a
whole show on just that. Alone.
Yeah, I could. And that's a beautiful story.
What kind of holistic medicine worked best for her that they
would prescribe pharmaceuticals for?
In lieu of yeah yeah. Oh, in lieu of yeah, so I guess

(08:14):
the one thing that I would say, cuz we've, I've gone through
windows with her where like puberty and a couple other like
life situations where her behavior did escalate that time.
So she's actually broken my nosebefore.
Oh, wow. You know, other issues like that
and, and her therapist at the time started to be like, maybe
want to look at medications, medications.
The thing is there is no medications for autism and you

(08:37):
can kind of play Russian roulette and get a child on.
They tend to put kids a lot on amedication that's for adults
with schizophrenia. There's no long term studies on
how safe that is for children. And most adults who are on that
medication, their life expectancy is about 50 to 60
years old. So it's just like, yeah, no
thank you. You know, they sometimes put

(08:58):
them in ADHD, anxiety, depression, medications, things
like that. But again, nothing is studied or
long term. It's not specific for autism.
And a lot of them have severe side effects.
I have a couple of friends whosekids have had to do that route
and they've developed seizures, they've put on more weight, they
developed other neuroses becauseof the medication and things
like that. So for her, I happened to I was

(09:22):
she was diagnosed by a typical doctor at University Hospitals,
which is a great system right here by us.
And she gave me this reading list and one of and I left there
and went right to the library and checked out several of those
books. And one of them was called
Facing Autism. And this mom talked a lot about
how she, you know, cleaned up her son's diet.

(09:43):
So they went gluten free, dairy free.
And then she did a lot of research and she spent, I don't
know if he was her only child, which that was difficult.
By the time Naomi was born or Naomi was diagnosed and
regressed, I already had four kids, you know, so that's and
very close in age. And I was in an unhealthy,
unhelpful relationship. So there was just a lot and but

(10:03):
with a little bit of energy and mind space, I had thankfully,
this book really guided me a lot.
And then from there I came across an organization called
National Autism Association and they had a conference coming up.
So I attended that and the conference was really what we
would call now like it was called biomedical, but now it's
really what we would call like functional medicine.

(10:25):
It's really under that umbrella nowadays in my in my opinion.
And so I originally was a pre Med person, so science,
medicine, all that stuff I was really familiar with.
And a lot of these doctors were,there wasn't no research for a
lot of this autism, you know, the, the increase in numbers
were still recent, you know, 10 years, 15 years ago when she was

(10:45):
first diagnosed. And so a lot of these doctors
were in the trenches doing the research as things were going
on. But I what really impressed me
too was that the doctors that were there presenting, they were
all all sorts of doctors. There was doctors that had been
filming practitioners for 20 years.
Some were, you know, GI specifics, some were just

(11:06):
everywhere in the medical field,but every one of them had a
direct link to autism, was frustrated with the lack of
knowledge and options out there for treatment, and then decided
for the sake of helping their nephew, their own child,
whatever the situation was, to then like dig into things.
So the main thing for sure was going gluten free for her.

(11:28):
She is she was really dairy freefor a long time.
Now she's like mostly dairy free, but gluten till this day
cleaning up her environment. So like right away I went to
using just plant based cleaners and like my laundry no longer
smells like anything, which is like I kind of miss the downy
smell but you know it. But it just cleaning a lot of
that stuff up. And then after about a year or

(11:51):
so and even that just showed improvement.
Some supplements like we did my MB12 shots like on her bum for
about a year and a half. That helped her a lot trying to
get her a lot of fish oils. It was hard at first, but now,
like once she got to be about 6-7 and she learned how to
swallow capsules, that changed the game a lot, too.

(12:11):
So just vitamin D, magnesium, a lot of that stuff.
And then the hyperbaric oxygen chamber that.
Yeah. So for about a year, I did about
20 to 25 hours a week of her therapy and that, and that
really spiked up her speech and calmed her down.
It's known for increasing oxygenlevels to the brain and a bunch

(12:34):
of other things, yeah, like reducing inflammation.
But a lot of kids with autism have really, really screwed up
guts. And so the other thing that
hyperbaric does, it tends to kill off candida, which is a
really strong yeast type of a thing in the stomach that can be
hard to get rid of and that irritates them a lot.
So that really boosted her a lotas well.

(12:55):
And then? So she had no issues getting
into the hyperbaric chamber. It's huge this, you know, even
the home unit is pretty big. And what I ended up doing cuz
you know, it was a little skittish at first.
She used to go with either me orher older brother for the
majority of the time. And at this time she was in a
mode where it's like you couldn't keep your eye off of
her. So it became like a reprieve for

(13:15):
me cuz it was like, oh great. For an hour and a half she's
actually just sit still. But what I used at the time was
I began to limit her iPad use except for in the oxygen tank.
So then it was like, OK, I I want to go in there because then
I get the iPad. Exactly.
Reward time for sure. Yeah, so I used that to to kind
of get her on board with it. And then as she's gotten older,

(13:38):
we reduce sugar a lot. So she almost never has
artificial sugars and food dyes.Food dyes is huge.
Yeah, my, we had, we had a, a guy in the show, a couple guys
on the show. 1 was Nate Palmer, then was Peter Ho.
They're both health Wellness type things and my wife and I
cut out bad starches, breads, crackers, things like that.
I used to do roots crackers, like that was my thing, but we

(13:58):
cut that out. We're, we've, we've had a fewer,
you know, 3 or 4, five times where we've kind of stepped away
from that, you know, having tacos and things, but I didn't
do tortillas anymore. And just a difference in that.
We're going on maybe two months now.
It's mind boggling. Mike doesn't do dairy because
he's allergic to dairy. I went, I went a year because I
had hyperpyrothyroidism. I went a year plus being

(14:18):
straight up vegan, which eliminated all of that stuff.
So it's, it's, it's interesting that that has a, has a a
healthier path with autism because I worked in the field
with, with autistic and, and Down syndrome mild Mr. Massive,
you know, just I worked at a, a place called the Marks Center in
the East Valley here in, in Arizona that we had 32 group

(14:40):
homes, all adults mentally seven, yeah, 7-8 years old.
And it ranged the dynamic rangedfrom everything.
You know, we had an autistic guythat would flap his arms, you
know, right. We had Down syndrome would just
sit there and self stem, you know, in the in the break of
just nothing but just this right.
We had some that actually, you mentioned smearing shit.

(15:01):
We had a guy that actually wouldgo in the bathroom and if he was
in there too long, it's like, what are you doing?
You open up like oh God, really dude?
Really. No, I used to have the the girls
used to share a room and it was huge and and I bought pajamas
that zippered up the back and had specific, it has specific
like fabric around the neck thatsupposedly wasn't stretchable
and all. I mean, I did everything and

(15:22):
this girl was Houdini. I bought like special for the
seat car seat. I had bought like special seat
belt to go above the seat belt and I would in like 2 minutes, I
would look in the back of my carand she'd be, you know, complete
run around. So she really was Houdini.
And I mean, you literally, I would open the door some
mornings and you couldn't tiptoeacross to get to the bathroom

(15:44):
and start to clean things up because it was just, yeah, isn't
that. A joy and I did I lived that
because I worked in that environment for 13 years and
then I ended up running the group homes but I still was
there yeah. So so I feel you been.
There. Yeah.
Well, now she's 18. For her 18th birthday, we went
to Punta Cana and she and I wentpartying at Coco Bongo.

(16:04):
We actually were just in Vegas and she went to the Shakira
concert. She works at Outback.
She does CrossFit and dance competitions so we've come and
it but it is still a roller coaster.
Even the morning that we were going to Vegas she was like
maybe I can't go to Vegas, I need to stay home cuz she's just

(16:25):
as nervous about the unknown. Even though we have been talking
about it for 2-3 months. Her teachers at school are
trying to help her work through it.
In the fall, she had a spike in behavior and she like, she bit
my husband and he had a bruise in his arm.
So it's not like, oh, she's cured, right?
But 90% of the time, you know, she's come such a long way.
She's doing great. And I'm so proud of her.

(16:46):
And, and I wouldn't have met like, you know, even two years
ago, I wouldn't have thought she'd been able to keep a job.
And, and, and for her to keep a job, it took about 3 months of
that being like my part time jobwith meetings and following up
with people and staying on top of people to make sure that
they're applying the right things.
But with the right tools in place and a lot of tenacity, you

(17:08):
can get it done. So she works it out.
That's awesome. Yeah.
What does she do there? So she's called Fun of the House
support and she mostly rolls their silverware.
So when they sit you down and they give you the silverware's
roll, mostly that's what she's doing.
Sometimes she has to shine the silverware because they'll come
out of the dishwasher clean, butit has like the water spots on
it. So she does that as well,
folding the kids menus. And then every once in a while

(17:32):
they'll have her sweep or bus tables, you know, stack up The
Dirty dishes, things like that. So the cool reason why I asked
that question was you mentioned that for three months that was
kind of you helped her transition into that with a
folks at Outback. That's pretty cool that they
were willing to take on because,I mean.
Well, here in Ohio, there's an organization, a government
organization called Ohioans withDevelopmental Disabilities, or

(17:57):
I'm sorry, it's called Opportunities for Ohioans with
Disabilities, OOD. And so they paid for three
months for her to have a job coach.
So the majority of the work was actually done by the job coach
that would be there with her. And then they started to slowly
fade out. And what kept happening was as
they faded out, hiccups would come up, you know, and then just
kind of staying on top of everybody, making sure we're on

(18:18):
the same page. But Outback has been the manager
there is great. And even if, you know, she's had
two or three times where she's gone in for shifts and wasn't
able to stay and you know, and they work through that and then
she comes next time and she's good though.
Yeah, Marks. Marks had the same kind of thing
with a local grocery chain that was born and bred in Arizona
called Bashes, where we'd have day programs and we called them

(18:41):
clients. So the higher functioning ones
would go to Bashes and basicallyrestock the shelves and refresh
everything and dust and things like that, you know, not
anything extremely physical and but but yeah, so that's that's
cool. That's really cool that that
Outback does that. So right on.
I also noticed was that right that you are your actress,

(19:06):
model, fitness instructor, Zumbainstructor, ambassador to the
USA football are one of those things.
So, you know, you just got to expand.
I like life resumes. Life resumes is what I thought,
because you don't just you just don't wake up, go to work, come
home, go to sleep like you. You've done things in your life
like Mike and I've accomplished,you know, things in our lives

(19:27):
that you know other people. Like having an awesome band in
the 90s. I think you guys should bring
that back. We're working on it.
It's kind of why this is here, right here, because I started
poking and I'm like, dude, we need to write some more music
because I still write songs. That's awesome.
And that's how this evolved. But so I want to know more about
the, the the the actress model part.
And then I want to go down the path of, of the fitness

(19:49):
instruction and what is what there was something else that
you had I lead. Is that what it was called?
Oh, that's super old. My husband owns Ohio Sports
Chiropractic and so I work a lotwith that as well.
That's it's become. It was my full time job for
quite a few years and then in the last year and a half as I
have ventured into my own endeavors.

(20:10):
I've been more part time assisting him, but that is still
one of the things that I do. But I'm no longer with I lead.
So you really went deep into my Facebook thing, He.
Does his research. That's impressive.
So with Ohio sports chiropractorrehab, anybody, anybody that you
can name drop just out of curiosity because we're not
we're not. No, because of HIPAA.
OK, but he does work. You can go on the website or on

(20:35):
the Ohio Sports Chiropractic hasa Facebook page, so every once
in a while you might see some people tagged on there because
they're willing to tag themselves.
But I can't actually just close it.
But he does. The Queen of Flops not going
there. We'll support him completely.
Yes, he works a lot. He was a runner himself, my
husband, he's one of those insane people that can run a
full marathon in 217 he qualified for Olympic trials and

(20:58):
so that that you know, 75% of his clientele or other runners.
So he actually works with USATFAlot and travels with them like
to World Championships and things like that.
So stateside he's done all of the Olympic trials and things
for about 10 years. So he's gotten to treat a lot of
big like the people who have made Olympic podios for the
track and field. He's gotten to treat a lot of

(21:18):
those people that you would knowthe name names of.
And then here at the clinic, surprisingly, Ohio is, yeah,
that was impressive, although, yeah, that was a hard feat for
sure. But he stayed.
Ohio has a lot of good runners and athletes.
So, yeah, he actually treated a big WWE name that was in town

(21:40):
and they were, they were in towndoing one of their smash downs
or whatever it was called. And he, yeah.
And he, he was injured and his agent found our clinic and there
was a couple of techniques that my husband does that isn't
common. And so and he but he, but he
knew about it. And so during lunch when we were
closed, they pulled in with their limo and he got to treat

(22:02):
him and right on. So that was probably, and that
was probably one of his favoritebecause it was one of like the
Ogs. So he remembers seeing him as
like a middle schooler. And so he really enjoyed getting
to treat him and, and you know, and chat with him.
Very cool. Death to Rose.
I would probably know who it is because that's when I watched
wrestling was, you know, back when it was cool.

(22:25):
According to I didn't, I didn't like wrestling, But according to
my husband, he was a big time, you know, person.
So yeah, I bet you would know. I really think that, and I've
always said, you know, when you get to be past 13, if you're
still into wrestling, good for you.
I mean, if that's your thing, but people are going to make fun
of you. You just got to know.
That you know. If you're an adult.

(22:47):
My 20 year old's BFF wrestles incollege so I think.
He would have real, that's real wrestling.
No. Oh, you mean?
Like. WWE.
Yeah, yeah, like the WWE staff where fake, fake chair
smackdowns are happening and what?
For sure, college wrestling is. It's like still believing in
Santa, right? You can't believe in Santa after
like 10 or 11. It's like you can't believe in

(23:07):
WWE and keep watching it. Unless you're 6 foot 2 elf from,
you know, the North Pole that iscoming to New York to find his
father. Right, which is probably the
type of people that still watch wrestling.
Right, exactly. True story.
Exactly. True story.
Yeah, But yeah, so I have modeled my whole life almost

(23:31):
since I can remember. So back in Brazil and one of my
uncles got into photography and he was just getting started with
his career. And one day was like, hey, let's
come do this photo shoot with me.
And I was 4 1/2 five, right? Didn't know any better.
Sure. You gonna get me chocolate?
I'll go with you. And he ended up winning like
national prizes with this one picture of mine and did all this

(23:54):
stuff and so on and off. I, you know, like I said,
dabbled in modeling and some commercial work.
Was never able to really lean into it.
Had a pretty traumatic childhoodand for different reasons, just
didn't have the support and, andthings like that.
And, and then even as a teenager, kind of got back into
it for a little bit, but same thing, like I had to really
provide for myself and had no safety net, you know, starting

(24:16):
at like 1415. And so just wasn't something I
could really dedicate time to back in the day.
It was, it was, it's a lot of harder than people think and
being in the industry. So back in the day, you know,
you had to go in person for an audition.
And often these auditions are like your agent is calling you
up. Like, hey, there's an audition

(24:36):
like tomorrow, you know, or you might have a 48 hour turn
around, especially back in the day when it was all in person.
And then if you got a call back,usually those were 24 to 48
hours notice. And then, and you still don't
know if you're going to have thepart right because you're going
to even a call back. You're probably down to like 5
to 7 people and you don't know you're going to get the part

(24:56):
and, and make the, the money. And so for me, it was really
hard even as a teenager trying to kind of stay in the industry
because I, like I said, I had toprovide for myself and I just
couldn't keep missing shifts to then be like, oh, I didn't even
get the job. So now you know, I didn't work
2-3 shifts. I didn't get that income and I'm
also not getting this income. So it was just hard for me to
lean into it. And then I trabbled a little bit

(25:18):
when my, when my first was born,he actually was on the cover on
the package of the Pampers inaugural swim diapers.
And yeah, cuz I just got him in with my agent at the time.
And he, you know, he got the job, his first, his first job.
He was one for one like a guy cuz usually you're like one for
100. So yeah, so he got that.

(25:42):
But and I dabbled a little bit once I kind of moved to Ohio and
try to do a little bit still andthen ended up quickly getting
pregnant and having babies once I think probably maybe a couple
years after Naomi was diagnosed.I tried one more time but again,
just didn't have the support. My ex-husband just wasn't that
type of a person and was very controlling and jealous and

(26:02):
possessive. So that wasn't a thing he really
wanted me to be successful at. And then my kiddos got into it.
My daughter was a phenomenal dancer and decided to quit,
which still breaks my heart. But it's her life to live
because she really was so talented and knows people like
her original dance teachers. Currently touring the world with
Nicky Jam as a backup dancer. And a lot of it is knowing

(26:26):
somebody in the industry that kind of pulls you in, but and.
She was gorgeous. I admire your attitude because a
lot of mothers are the dance momkind of moms.
That's why there was a show called Dance Moms, right?
And those people drive me crazy when they're vicariously living
through their kids. So the thing that caught my ear
was it's her life to live, right, Right.

(26:46):
So as long as she's not hurting herself, I admire your attitude.
That's. Yeah, because it's like, you
know, I, I was, I remember distinctly there was a day that
I was on the step machine at a newer gym.
I we had just moved to Ohio. I was in the step machine.
Not really know anybody reading a book about parenting something
or other. And it was a Christian mindset,
like background type of a book. And I just remember, hit it like

(27:08):
there was something that I read and I don't remember the book,
but I distinctly remember this moment where it just hit me like
my kids aren't my possession. You know, it's not, it's not
like grow up to live this life that I think you should have.
And that was so common when I was growing up.
I mean my parents. It still.
Is thankfully I don't think it'sas prevalent.

(27:29):
I know it still is and I agree with you 1,000,000%.
But like, if you think back to my parents and my grandparents
generation or our parents and grandparents generation, that
was so expected. You were to either grow up and
work on the farm. If you go way back or you were
expected to grow up and go to college and be some or go to
work in the factory or whatever,you had two choices.

(27:50):
Join the military, go to work inthe factory.
Go work in the farm. Work on the farm or go to
college. You know if you.
Were or be a serial killer. That's always an option, you
know. Because, you know, there's that.
Yeah, I think for me, even though I had kiddos young, I
think for me, like I moved here when I was 6 from Brazil.

(28:10):
My grandma had been here already.
And then my mom came and it was just me, my mom and an aunt of
mine and then that aunt kids, and that was it.
The rest of my family was. In Brazil and original and you
moved to Ohio? No, I moved to Boston, so I grew
up in the Boston area, South of Boston, but South side.
Southeast. I think nowadays I'm allowed to

(28:32):
come out and say this because there's a little bit more
understanding and empathy towards it.
But we were here illegally, you know, we came legally and then
overstayed the visa. So I grew up with like in that
culture of the illegal immigrants where, you know, you
got whatever job you got and you're just thankful that you're
able to work, which is also a side note.
Like it kind of cracks me up seeing all my like non educated

(28:57):
immigrant friends on Facebook beso passionate about like these
ICE raids going on because I'm sitting here like these have
been going on since like in 1995.
Like, thank you they're. Just now taking credit.
For him, right? It's like, you know, I was just
cuz my daughter and I were just having this conversation cuz I
guess one of her friends was really passionate in a

(29:17):
particular way that she's like, what do you think about the ICE
raids? I'm like, here's the deal,
anybody who's ever been here illegally going back to the 80s
when you know, I came over in 1988, it's like every single day
you woke up and you went to workknowing that you had the
potential of getting sent back. Either your job could get
raided, you could get pulled over for running a red light or,

(29:38):
or stop, you know, whatever. And you always would hold your
breath like that was it's, that's been the thing since 1988
across the entire legal, at least Brazilian community.
So anyways, go ahead. No, I'm no, I'm agreeing with
you. I think it's, it's people don't,
it's, we've talked about this before on the show.
It's clickbait. People will read the headline,
not the story. And that's how most.

(29:58):
People get their news. Because and so many.
In America is a goldfish length like 6 seconds.
I agree with you SO, and that isa great point too.
So many people are quick to judge without investigating the
whole story. Like, if you think back to the
way the news was in the 1970s, Ithink it ended with Reagan,

(30:18):
where they didn't have to do this anymore.
But they used to have to give you the opinion editorial,
right? So if the Republicans made a
point, the Democrat had the right to rebuttal on the news,
that was a law. They had to do it.
And Reagan ended that. And, you know, basically said
the news is entertainment. Which is sad.

(30:39):
Right. Because yeah, yeah.
I was just telling my daughter the story, you know.
So I remember my mom had a friend and again, this is 1989.
OK, So my mother had a friend who had been here illegally for
about two years. She never had a bank account on
her name, never had like. She had no like.
And again, this is 1989 when theInternet isn't what it is today,
right? So she had no links to anything.

(31:01):
Like she never had a bank account.
She never like had any. She always rented a room.
So like, no utilities under her name, no rent, like she didn't
own a car, like she had nothing,no paper trail, right?
So she goes to Brazil because there's always a little
something happened. She risked it to try to go to
Brazil and come back, even though she was here illegally
and there was somebody was gonnado something with her passport

(31:21):
to make it seem like she had an overstate her visa, blah, blah,
blah. She comes back and gets stopped
by immigration on her way back in right.
They put her in a room and they come back two hours later and
they had a list of the four different places she had lived,
even though none of them were under her name.
There was no utilities, no phones, no cell phone bill.
Like that's how it exists. They knew every place she had

(31:42):
worked. They knew every place that she
had lived. They knew a couple of people
that she had been associated with, like friend, like really
close friends and the guy she dated.
Like they had all this information on her.
That's and she wasn't nobody like she wasn't like.
Basically living off the grid. Right.
And she like, you know, she didn't commit any crimes.
She'd never gotten in trouble. Like she was really a nobody

(32:03):
know her bank account never had more than I mean, she didn't
have a bank account, but like she never had more money, you
know, like she wasn't doing anything that would have caused
attention, right? And they were able to pull all
of that from her in 1989. Well that's Big Brother, because
the Internet, I don't think the Internet started till like 93.
Right. I told you I got on Amazon for
the first time in 1993. Yeah, yeah.

(32:24):
You should have got stuff on Amazon in 1993.
They. Didn't do that too.
No, I take that back. It was either 91 or 92 because I
graduated College in 92. Yeah, I was in, I was in
college, the time when we were at a friend's house.
Glenn, his name is Glenn. We were kind of, this is a bunch
of theaters because I got out ofjournalism by then.
But so we were hanging out, doing something, probably
partying, whatever. But his parents had AOL and

(32:46):
like. I remember that, yeah.
And it. Was did you peep my AOL address?
I get so much. Shape for it.
Literally is my first ever e-mail address and I never got
rid of it. He might have mentioned that
while we were sitting there talking.
Trying to figure out how we won't because he's like, did you
go to like, I was like, yeah, I said, but it's AOL.

(33:07):
He will. Who knows?
If it went through. He went.
It's aol.com. I've got mail.
I get, I get stuff like that allthe time.
Every once in a while I'll have a patient because I'll work the
front desk at my husband's clinic and I'll have a patient,
you know, over the phone like aol.com.
Like, yes, I'm so happy. Like, I'm so proud of you.
The reason I can make fun of youis because I still have a

(33:29):
Hotmail account. That I oh, that's almost as bad.
Almost, almost. But going back to the kiddo
stuff. So coming here illegally, having
all that happen, like I said, I had a really traumatic
childhood, a lot of issues with my mom and find, you know, just
poor life choices, finance stuff, like all kinds, you name
it should, but you know, gone through it.
So I quickly realized like I need to pull myself up by my own

(33:52):
bootstraps here. Like I'm responsible for myself.
I was actually responsible for and my siblings and my mom a
lot. So busted my butt in school.
Thankfully for my 6th grade teacher totally kind of changed
my mindset about things. And then I had an eighth grade
teacher couldn't realize I was smart at this point.
And I had an eighth grade teacher that was like, let me

(34:12):
see what classes you picked for freshman year because my parents
weren't my mom, my dad. I didn't meet my dad until I was
19. And so my mom like 1, she's
barely speaks English. She's an immigrant here.
She doesn't realize how the school system works and she
herself wasn't a good or anything like that, even in
Brazil. So she wasn't like she didn't
know how anything worked, right.And so they had this feel about

(34:33):
what classes to pick and there was 3 levels at our school.
There was like standard college and honors and blah, blah, blah.
So I had picked all middle levelclasses, college and thinking
like, oh, that sounded so hard and all this stuff.
And then one of my teachers was like, let me see what you picked
for freshman year. So I showed him.
He's like, yeah, no, like this is dumb.
Like you're way more smarter than this.
Like what are you doing? And then it really wasn't until

(34:55):
I got into like freshman year, like I changed all my classes
into honors because of this teacher.
I skipped a year in science and all this other stuff.
And then I basically had this teacher of mine pick my schedule
freshman year. And then from that point on,
it's when I was like, oh, OK, I guess I am smart because I'm
getting A's and all of this. And this is when I realized some
of that stuff. So then decided that I was going
to go pre Med. And then I decided that I wanted

(35:17):
to go into BU's accelerated medical program, which was
actually harder to get into thaneven Harvard, correct?
Because I just wanted to be donequicker because it's like, I
need to make money quick. I need to get on with my life,
my independence kind of thing. And I got in to the program and
then couldn't go because I was here illegally and I didn't have

(35:38):
a Social Security number. And I got.
No. And I got a lot of financial
grants to be able to attend, so I was going to pay like less
than 10 grand to attend this program.
And then they really worked. I actually kind of just like
ghosted them and I don't know what I was thinking at the time
cuz I knew I wouldn't be able tofollow through and I don't know
if I just thought a miracle willhappen.
And my grandma has actually beenAUS citizen since I was 8-9, but

(36:03):
my mom just didn't follow through with getting our
paperwork done. And so I could have been legal
all that time. And then so I don't know.
I don't even know why because I went, that hit me hard when I
couldn't go there. But so I just ghosted them
because I was scared to tell them why I couldn't accept my
position and all the money, you know, and coming out like, well,
I'm illegal and what would happen?

(36:25):
And then they they kept following up with me, following
up with me because they really wanted me to commit to going.
And then finally I told the advisor in person because I
didn't want to have a phone call.
And I'm like, I don't know if these people are recording this
call. And so I went in person and I
was just like, I'm like, yeah, Ican't, like, I don't have
documentation. She was like, oh, wait, like we
can help you with that. You can just join the program as
an international student. So then for about two weeks, I

(36:48):
was kind of excited. She was like, that'll actually
help you out because you can getyour visa done and all this
stuff and it'll help you get, you know, get legal.
But it's like, yeah, but then you have to pay international
student prices. And I don't know if you know
anything about that, but it's about double.
So I went from having to pay maybe 10 grand or less to more
like 7580. I was like, yeah, I can't do
that. So going back to the kids, it's

(37:10):
like I've had these different situations in my life where the,
the rug got pulled from underneath me.
And, and you know, and, and now at 43, I'm still trying to piece
together what, who exactly am I?What, what do I want to do?
You know, what, what makes me tick?
What, what makes me passionate about things.
And, and, and I'm struggling because I feel there's like 12
directions I could go in and I'mtrying to hone in.

(37:30):
I'm like, OK, which two or threedo I lean into right now?
To make you feel better. That's about the same age that I
kind of started to think about Iwas in my life if I was right
where you're at right now. I was sober for about 5 years at
that point. But you're still kind of getting
here. Thank you.
Now it's more like 18, but it it's still fantastic, right?

(37:52):
I enjoy life, but I remember that feeling of who am I now?
You know. I was a musician.
I was a successful musician. That that was my identity from 9
years old until I became a horrible addict, right?
I kind of lost my way there. And I wasn't even a musician at
that point. I was just existing and

(38:12):
surviving. But kudos to you for, you know,
having the guts to start over again and looking at it as an
opportunity. I can hear the excitement in
your voice. You're not sad about that, you
know. Yeah.
I mean, I think you know what one of the reasons when you guys
mentioned about like talking about trauma and overcoming it,
I think, and I'm actually starting my own podcast with a

(38:35):
girlfriend of mine. It's gonna be called the Brian
Samoa Show. And that's kind of the platform
we want to go off of that life is just always hard.
Yeah. And I think even before social
media, cuz somewhere along the line from my family, from
culture, there's this sense of like there's an end point in

(38:56):
life and when you, and it's not death, like there's an end point
that when you reach that, oh, from that point on, life is just
like rainbows and, and butterflies, you know, Right,
right. And the reality is like, no,
like you can get the job, you can make the money, you can get
the wedding, like the marriage, you know, everything you want.
And but there is no end point, you know, and there's always
gonna be like if, if these two 3or 4 areas are clicking really

(39:20):
well and bringing you all this fulfillment and joy and all of
that, it's like, great. But there's gonna be an area or
two that's gonna really suck andbe challenging.
Well, and that can turn around and they can interchange and
move. Which one does what when.
Right. Like we were saying earlier,
there's always that opportunity to start over.

(39:41):
There's no targets. You know, it's not when you're
18, you should do this. When you're 25, you should do
this. You should have kids by the time
you're 30. You, you know, that's such BS.
Your life is your life. You have one life.
It's your life. And so many people spend their
entire life letting other peopletell them what to do and who
they should be. You know, it just drags me

(40:01):
insane, so much so that I spend a lot of time by myself.
Yeah, and that's where I was at,you know, because like I the the
way that my childhood was structured due to my mom's own
issues and stuff. Like I spent my life trying to
please her and being whatever version of myself that she
needed or that I thought she wanted so that I could earn her

(40:23):
love kind of thing. And then I rolled that over
right into a marriage to a narcissist who was pretty much
the same exact way and, and everything with like, who does
he want me to be and how do I act?
And not in like a phony way, youknow, that I think might come
across. It's just like I, I, you know,
like I, I thought I love this person.
It was more of like an attachment psychological kind of

(40:45):
thing as well, because I had allthis unhealed trauma that I
didn't even baggage. But then you know the flip side
of that is when you start to notcare what other people think.
Then you're an asshole then. They're.
Right, you know, Oh, are you living your life for yourself?
How dare you? You know, right.
Yeah, yeah, that's but usually the people.
But usually the people who thinkthat though, are the people who

(41:08):
benefited from you being in the dark.
Right. But that's why they're they're.
Yeah, well, that's not what I wanted for you.
That's not. What's best for you, right?
To do what I think is best for you because I know you don't
know. You're just a child.
You're 19 years old, I'm 40. I lived life.
You need to follow my guidance because I know what's right for
you and they don't. They don't like you do like you

(41:29):
said earlier with your with your.
With. Your daughter and the dancing
thing, I, I championed that as well.
I thought that was brilliant that you made that statement and
might just beat me to the punch,but that was fantastic.
That was a great way to approachthat because your relationship
stays strong because she doesn'tresent you.
You didn't force her to do something she didn't want to do.
Where, like Mike said, Dance Moms, most mothers and fathers,

(41:51):
mind you, because boys, sports, things like that, they're so
ingrained with you have to, you have to, you have to that.
It just doesn't work. And then it creates that
resentment and then the fraction.
Yeah, but then you get all thesekids that are just miserable,
and not only that, but then the whole midlife crisis, it's like,
it's not really a midlife crisis.
I think it's just people finallybeing like, well, wait a minute,
like I'm looking back and everything I've done was for

(42:13):
somebody else. And now I'm in this job that I
don't even like or, you know, know, like what I'm not
passionate about. And so like you start to kind of
realize like it is my life. You know, it might happen when
you're 3545, but it's like, you realize that and you're like,
you know what, I'm going to change jobs.
I'm going to do this. And and some people go in on
healthy route because they haven't dealt with the baggage

(42:34):
and the trauma. So then they try to do like a
180, which isn't necessarily theanswer.
That's a good point and go really dramatic with rebelling
against who they've been. That's not them.
And then they go into other things that maybe isn't them
either. But I think midlife crisis is
just more people getting to the point where they run out of
fucks to give. Am I allowed to say that?

(42:55):
Absolutely you are. And then they're like, let me
see who I am and what I actuallyeven like.
And and so with my kids. I never really thought about
that, that that's brilliant point.
Yeah. You gave me a new way to look at
that. It is.
It is not a midlife crisis. It's that person woke up you.
Know yeah, that's kind of reallywhat I think.
And so with my kids I'm like like, I don't want them to have

(43:17):
that moment. And I, and I was just having a
conversation with my, my 20 yearold yesterday about this because
he, he, he's 6 foot 7 wow, and didn't touch a basketball until
he was almost basically 8th grade, but he didn't really play
until freshman year. Wow.
His first ever basketball game, he got fouled and went to the

(43:38):
foul line and did a jump shot because he didn't know that
that's what you do. And so, but he like decided that
he didn't make the front the 8thgrade team, decided he was going
to play the freshman team. Thankfully my husband, his step
dad is super supportive. So was like, yeah, do whatever
he needs to do. So he and I used to spend hours
in the car driving to all different kinds of private

(44:00):
coaches and, and getting him wherever.
And he, cuz he was like, well, now I want to play basketball
and I want to play in college and I want to be able to play
post college. It's like, really, can we just
make the freshman team first? Right.
But that's where he was at. And it was just like, OK, like,
let's go. And he did he got he got into AD
3 and did phenomenally well played from the first game on
was starting by his freshman year by about halfway point was

(44:24):
Co cap like captain in training kind of a thing Sophomore year
ended up being top scorer several games even though wasn't
necessarily his role like he didgreat entered the portal.
Now he's going to AD 2 and he puts a lot of pressure on
himself. And I try to balance the holding
him accountable to what he is proclaiming he wants, sure, you

(44:47):
know, but also, like, giving himspace because it's like, it's
not about me living vicariously through him and wanting him.
Like, I don't want him to succeed more than he wants to
succeed. But as his mom, I'm like, I
don't want you to look in the mirror like 10 years from now
and be frustrated with yourself,you know, because because yeah,
like, you just didn't stay as committed or as on track.
So I would just tell him like, you know, like I'm just your

(45:08):
bumpers, you know, like in a in a bowling alley and I'm just
trying to put my bumpers up and make sure that you make it to
the end and you knock down some pins or you knock down the pins
that you want kind of thing. I always.
Like that's what my parents did for me.
They set me up for success, right?
They didn't intervene in my life.
They didn't say you're going to do this, you're going to be
this. It was all suggestions, right?

(45:30):
You want to go be a professionalmusician, I would really suggest
that you have a degree in something right That wasn't.
They didn't force me to go there.
It was solid advice. And I'd have a hard time arguing
with what I call common sense logic, right?
When someone tells you if you move 2000 miles away and you
don't have a job to fall back on, you know for at least the

(45:52):
first six months, right, you're going to be right back here
where you started. See, I have a different mindset
with that and that could be the that could be the immigrant in
me that, you know, just kind of makes a way because like my
daughter when she wanted to dance and she wanted to dance
through freshman year and then she quit going into her freshman
year and she wanted to dance professionally.

(46:13):
And I used to tell her the opposite.
I'm like, listen, when you turn 18, like just go try dance, move
to New York, move to LA. And this was pre COVID because
now post COVID, which is the benefit of going into modeling
and acting now is that everything is basically online
now, you know, So I self so it'snot the same risk of tying up
all this time and potential losing money working other

(46:35):
shifts. Cuz you can just do it at 2:00
AM at home, submit yourself tapeand see what happens kind of
thing. And by the time that you have to
call off work and go somewhere, you know, you've got the job.
But I cuz I used to tell her like you one, like the lessons
that you'll learn trying to makeit.
And this was before her teacher made it because a choreographer

(46:56):
that we're, that worked really closely with our studio.
And then her dance teacher became the choreographer for
pretty much the entire Latin world, reggaeton, like music
videos, artists, you know, toursand all that.
And then her teachers, she's on her third tour now with a third
different artist. So like I said, a lot of it is
kind of who you know, So she would have had that going for
her. But I used to tell all the time,

(47:18):
it's like the lessons that you'll learn trying and working
hard. And the reality is you can go
back to college at any point. So it's like I always said, I'm
like, I don't wanna be my kids crutch, but I'm always willing
to be their safety net. And so it's like go try and if
it doesn't work, like you can come back to home base, reset

(47:38):
and try the next thing you know.So I feel like.
If you move somewhere like 2000 miles away without a job, it's
like go bartend, go waitress, go, you know, cut cut lawns.
Like you figure something out. If you really want a thing bad
enough, you figure it out. We did for.
Sure. No question.
The one thing that we had in common with you in the modeling

(48:00):
world was, and Chris and Scott and Rick never saw the side of
it because I booked all the gigs.
We got rejected 50 times for every one time that somebody
would let us in until we developsome kind of legitimacy, right?
Right. And you built the name, Yeah.
You played a lot of Monday nights at midnight for two
people. At.
The time. You know, we so now with the

(48:22):
modeling stuff, you know, they Iwas just talking to a few people
who are doing really well right now.
One, it takes about two to threeyears to start to kind of book
consistently because, like you said, you have to build your
resume, the legitimacy a little bit.
And then two, you know, because of self tape.
So people can be any like I submit to jobs and I've gone

(48:42):
gotten booked in jobs in New York, in Nashville and I'm in
Ohio. And so it's like 1 if you book
one in 100 jobs that you submit for like that's a good result.
That's kind of where we started at.
It was, you know, I was a lot like your son.
It wasn't good enough to just know how to play a guitar.
I didn't want to play other people's music.

(49:03):
I want to play my own music, youknow, And that's pretty
arrogant. Well, it's even more arrogant
when you walk in somebody's clubthat is world famous and
established and say my. Band I want.
To play for you. And they're like, no, you're
not. You have to have that kind of
confidence, you know, like nowadays.
Is going back. I was so stubborn back then.
I just kept I wouldn't do that. Now I'm a different person.

(49:25):
I really am. I, Chris, will tell me things
that I did back in the day and I'm like, that's, I can't
believe it. But you can't lose that
completely. There's a little bit of that,
like manifesting, believing, projecting it out.
There, you know, it's still there for sure.
I'm just a different person thanthat person was, You know, I, I
had that fire and that hunger atthat time for.

(49:46):
For that particular thing, you probably.
Have it for something. Else now.
Yeah, it was so new back then. Music will always be my first
passion. I mean, that's what keeps me
grounded. I just have a different approach
to it than than I did back then,for sure.
That's the only thing I cared about.
I was, you know, to use your French word fuck that job is.
What I always said, you know. I'll find another job.

(50:07):
I'm with the band, you know? Yeah, but that goes back to like
whatever you're big passionate at that moment, you know, you'll
find a way to make that work. So right now, a couple years
ago, like I said, I went through, you know,
disappointment in my teens. Like I really, I went through a
really hard about year and a half of being pretty depressed
right after I graduated high school because it's like

(50:28):
everything I had commonly that was supposed to be my saving
grace and I done everything right.
You know, I didn't go to the thekeggers in high school and I was
studying hard, you know, doing all these things to to make it
into what I wanted to. But then the rug I still, it
wasn't good enough because therewas circumstances beyond my
control that I could do nothing about.
And then I started at the local Community College and my plan

(50:50):
was like I mentioned my grandma was AUS citizen.
And then at the time there was some, there was some like SNAFU
law thing that I think it was Bush that did that made it a
little easier to try to get legal like through your job than
it used to be for a couple years.
So then I was like looking into that because where I worked was
willing to do that. So I started going to Community

(51:11):
College and I was just going to like do that for a couple years.
Hopefully my papers will come inin time.
And I was going to reapply to BU.
And then in that in that processend up meeting my ex-husband
who, you know, promised up and down that he couldn't have kids
because he and his and he was older than me and his ex-wife
and him did have a child. But he was saying how they had
to go through this whole hoopla and it was him and blah blah

(51:33):
blah. And it was like 1 damn fucking
time and I got pregnant, which is good because I love my son.
And you know, one of you guys made the comment about like not
being bitter and it's just like the ebbs and flows in the roller
coasters. Not to sound cliche, but it does
make you who you are. It does.
And other parts of me that I wish weren't there just because

(51:55):
it's trauma responses and and neural loops that are created.
Like even I had a really hard about four like two weeks ago
maybe I had a really hard one week where it was just like.
It must have been something in the air because I was right
there with you. Well, you know what it was that
strawberry full moon and like something else like.

(52:15):
That was a gorgeous. Movie like my husband was like,
this is my husband was like thisis what these are the three
things you know, and he's like just hang tight for like 3 or 4
days. So real quick where Chris and I
part ways is I am an empath. Like the poster definition of an
empath, which is how I write music and I, it comes to me
through the universe. I'm the vehicle, right?

(52:36):
I don't take any credit for it. He'll tell you I don't
understand that. That's not how I'm built, right?
So that's where we part ways. And sometimes he has to say,
here's how life is and this is reality and.
So I'm a little bit. Have to say to him, you know,
here's my I am too, but I'm always going to be way more the
give people the benefit of the doubt or the situation the
benefit of the doubt a little bit more than most people for a

(52:59):
second. So I might be a little bit more
cynical than empath then, if that's.
Yeah, but but yeah, so like, not.
And again, this is really what Iwant to explore with our
podcast, where it's like, whatever you see, especially in
this age with social media, you know, it's like I if if you look
at my social media, which I knowChris dug deep there, I do.
I have a wonderful life and it'sbeautiful now.

(53:22):
You know, I'm so thankful for myhusband and the relationship we
have and, and the things that weget to do and, and the kids.
But even in the middle of all this wonderful thing and beauty,
there is still hard. Unfortunately, my ex-husband
still stays intertwined. And so sometimes that comes into
play and you know, like court stuff and things are still going
on that can get overwhelming. But but yeah, like, I just had

(53:44):
this like week where it was justreally hard.
And I think part of it is just that neural loop from.
And it's so important that people recognize that that you
can have everything go the way that you want.
And whether it be that one or two areas just is going to be a
struggle or some of it is your baggage.
And you have to be willing to look yourself in the mirror and

(54:04):
unpack that closet and be like, oh, like this here, whether it's
your fault or not that somethinghappened.
Like you have to sift through it, be willing to let it go.
You have to do the work, as I always say to myself in my head,
right, We're going to have to dosome work now.
Right, you know, I as a child, Iwas actually molested several
times. You know, like these, all these
different crazy things have happened.

(54:26):
Like, like I said, I, you know, I had a great, I had a, you
know, hard marriage, hard divorce, like.
And you know what? Those make the most interesting
people. Well, it always does feel like
if you have to go through. Yeah, I mean, if they let let it
grow them, right? Because unfortunately a lot of
people go through things like that.

(54:47):
And my husband's parents was waspeople like that.
Like my husband's another personwhose story is insane.
Like I'm going to plug him that you guys should have him on the
show because he has a crazy, crazy story of like where did
you come from based on your ranking?
And just to be such a giving, loving man that he is with like

(55:08):
he's 0 bitterness. Like I struggle with some
bitterness and unforgiveness towards certain things.
We like. He doesn't even have that and
just he's, I mean, he's by far the.
Strongest person I've ever met at that myself.
I used to be a very hateful person, like everything was
negative. It's my way or the highway.
Pretty much the antithesis of that.

(55:29):
Now. I did in that I did a 180 but it
took about well till right now talking to you I'm still
working. I think too, the other thing is,
like, you can get there like even my daughter with autism,
right? Like we've gotten so far and 90%
of the time she's phenomenal. Yeah.
But every once in a while, like whether it's a full moon thing,

(55:49):
whether it's something she ate, whether it's sometimes we don't
know what it is, Like she just kind of reverts to some of the
initial days with the tantrums and the aggressions and, and
things like that. And I think it's like that for
all of us. I think some of us carry more,
but more baggage or have more trauma than others and have to
be willing to and, and, and you have to be willing to look at
the science of it too, you know,because I think there's a lot

(56:12):
more information on that nowadays than there used to be.
And so you don't have to sit there and be like, this is just
how I am or this just happened to me.
You don't understand. It's like, no, like, yes, like
this happened to you. Yes, it'd be so much harder for
you than maybe the person who's like trauma is just like your
average trauma of life because everybody has challenges.
But it's like there is science behind it, you know, like the

(56:33):
grooves and the neural loops of your brain.
And it is learning how to like interject those and and cut them
short. But that's one thing I'll give
Chris credit for. He grew up.
He hasn't talked about it because, you know, we've been
sharing your story. But he grew up in a horrible
environment and he's one of the most positive people I've ever
known. And I've known him for 30 some

(56:55):
years. I mean, he's the same person
mentally, spiritually, physically that he was when I
met him. I mean, he's just always upbeat
and especially when things get bad, you know, like when we had
challenges in the beginning withthis show, he would always be
the person that would be like, it's going to be fine, you know?
It's going to stick it through. Yeah, I'm losing my mind.

(57:16):
I'm cussing. I'm saying words you don't even
know exist and he's over there going, dude, it's me, mellow up
we're going to get. Through it, right?
Yeah, 'cause I'm a big. Believer.
I love that about him. Thank you.
I'm I'm a big believer in in in who you are in your life right
now. Who I am right now in my life is
is defined by how I was brought up.
Everything happens for a reason.I don't I've never played the

(57:37):
blame game. My brother plays the blame game
all the time. I never have because what's the
point? What's it just all all it's
it's, it goes nowhere. So it's just you have to accept
the fact, OK, you know, I went through these things in life,
but those things in life, I had two directions to go and I went
this way instead of that way. And because I went this way,
then those are just stepping stones that make you the

(57:59):
character, make you the man thatyou are.
Even at 55, you still grow, you still learn, you still evolve.
I'm more patient now than I was when I was raising my kids.
And now it's because we have whyyou have my 2 grandsons.
And it's just, it's different. My wife tells me all the time
there's Anthony's rule, but it'sit's.
You don't. You don't, you don't see it when
you're when you're when you're raising your own kids, you know,

(58:21):
because you just you don't. We didn't have examples.
So we were kind of like pulling out things out of the air.
And I even told my son in the older he remembers the
conversation. We was at a baseball game and I
was trying to get him to choke up on his bat and step into the
pitch when he swung and I was sitting behind home plate and
and he wasn't listening. So I literally got up behind
home plate with all the parents like, dude, pick up your leg,
pick up your leg and then step this wing, step this wing.

(58:43):
He was so pissed on the way home.
And then he finally told me why.And I was like, oh, I was like,
OK, you got to give me some grace, dude.
I'm a first time dad. Like I had no example.
I said, so I'm going to make mistakes, but I will never do
that to you again. I will never call you out again
in any way, shape and form like that.
Because I didn't realize what I was doing was embarrassing.
I thought I was being a helpful father, trying to remind my son
step into the pitch. So you're going to drive her

(59:04):
further? See that's so cool.
Just like she did though to takehis side and understand where he
was coming from is so advanced in parents.
You know, forward thinking. The parents didn't think like
that. No, I think it's so important.
That's so cool man, that's a great story.
Yeah, I think it's so important,like what you mentioned, Chris,
you know, about evolving and growing and like how you're
different at 55 than you were when you were raising your kids.

(59:27):
It's like some people just don'thave a growth mindset, right?
And it's, and that's what that is like it's just so important
that you know, you are like, it sounds like that's what you do.
You know, it's like you're willing to always say like I
haven't peaked, right, Like I haven't, there's no target.
Like I'm still learning and growing and involving in in the
different aspects. A lot, a lot of it's because of
my wife. My wife puts me in check all the

(59:48):
time and she's been together 30 years.
So it's, you know, she'll, she'll reel me in when I need to
be reeled in and she's really good.
At SO that's awesome. We got about 5 minutes left.
So where, what else you want to share and where to talk about
what you have upcoming so we candrive people to you and all that
kind? Of yeah, so originally I got
back into modeling thinking thatI was gonna do that as a side

(01:00:08):
thing because I really wanted toget into my podcast and as well
as some life coaching. And the premise behind that is,
like I mentioned and we touched upon in different ways, I am,
I've gone through just about everything you can possibly go
through, you know, from being animmigrant, sexual abuse stuff,
traumatic childhood, you know, narcissistic divorce, things

(01:00:29):
like that. And so I just want to be able to
share from that platform and be able to whoever I'm trying to
help, whether it be through our podcast episode or coaching.
I can look them in the face and say, I know what it's like to be
in your shoes, but here's how wecan move past that and, and get
you into where you want to be. And but then eventually, totally
by happenstance, the modeling thing became kind of a bigger

(01:00:50):
thing. And I ended up being booked as a
core extra for Superman. Cool.
Who comes out on the 11th? So I've got to be on set.
Yeah, thanks. I got to be on set for seven
days. I got to be a police.
Police officer. There's going to be a scene
where he's like walking through a crowd and he goes into a
building and there's a police officer by the door.
So one of the days I was that police officer.

(01:01:11):
So sometimes it might be me, sometimes it might be not.
When does that come out? It comes out July 11.
Awesome. But I don't really know like if
and when I'll make I know that my back, you know my me walking
towards Superman. So my back and my hair made the
previews. So we'll see what we know where
I end up there. But I also got to work on Happy

(01:01:31):
Gilmore too. So that comes out and I again
have no idea how the final editswill work.
Couple of the TV shows, Friends and Neighbors, which is a big
show that everybody's been talking about.
So the did you end it We. Did we watched the?
OK, so the episode at the end where they have the body dead in
the in the house, the big, the big fat guy is like dead on the
ground of the house. If you watch that again, the

(01:01:52):
medical examiner in the back behind the detective talking,
that's me. So you get to see me on that.
So, yeah, so I have some of those fun products coming out.
But the biggest thing is definitely the podcast coming
out, The Brian Samois show, BRY is my girlfriend's name.
And then and Samois show, we're gonna have a website, Brian
Samois, where we're gonna launchinitially more of the podcast

(01:02:13):
stuff, but then eventually some blogs and the coaching, the life
coaching stuff that I'm excited about.
Cool. That's honestly.
So how do people find you onlineright now?
Just. So you can find me on Instagram,
Samaua Kormanik S AM UAKORMANIKMICKEY.
No, I'm just kidding. That's me OU A/C.

(01:02:35):
So Samaua Kormanik on Instagram that's probably and then the
same thing for Facebook. So that's mainly the two places
right now. And then I am on a couple
episodes of my husband's podcast, which is called Mind
Body Marathon and The Runner. The runner tie there.
Yep, Yep. So there's an episode called I
Hate Running. OK, which is me.

(01:02:55):
I'll check it out. Everybody hates running.
Everybody hates running for the first.
Month. No.
I've been running for like 12 years.
I still hate it. But I did run 12 miles today.
I have a full marathon coming out because my brother, who I
love dearly and love to have himvisit, who usually comes from
Luxembourg only for like a handful of days, he's like, hey,
I'll come for 10 days if you andI do this full marathon and it's
a trail marathon, which I've never done, no.

(01:03:18):
The trails are simple because we're running Nick and I
runners. We've probably done marathons,
but the trail ones are so much more fun because you're up and
down as terrain. It's not.
Yeah, I don't. I mean, I think our definitions
are fun and different. My definition of fun is dancing
and Zumba and it's. Going to go by quicker because
you have so many different things to look at.
Why? I hope so.

(01:03:39):
Run with music it'll. Help.
Yeah. But yeah, so check out, if you
guys are runners, check out MindBody Marathon.
It's on Spotify and all that. But the episode I hate Running,
I'm on that one. And then there is an episode
where my daughter is on, We did one on autism and Naomi pops in
at the end so you get to see heras well, OK.
Real quick. Yep.
Everybody give a shout out to Michael because he watched the
whole episode and he's. Michael.

(01:04:00):
Great show tonight guys, so thank you very much.
Michael, thank you. That's awesome.
So we wrap everything up with don't let the bad days when
somebody will miss you, SomebodyLoves You.
Don't leave a home in somebody else's heart because.
You're feeling bad. Today, go talk to somebody, go
to bed tomorrow, it's going to be a better.
Day. Tomorrow's always a new day, and
that's what I always try to remind myself.

(01:04:21):
Always a better day for my ChrisDunham and Sumoa Kormanic.
This is the Chris and Mike show and take next time see you, love
you please. Love you too man Aw.
So there you go. We don't want to fly in this
door to you. Look the table, go inside, feel

(01:04:48):
the teeth for your life long, your journey.
This is the place where you willgo.
Feel the trail behind your eyes.Feel the sound and need.
Take a moment, look at you and see it.

(01:05:08):
Fight the battle. That's you Mark Wheel.
Fight the battle, but you Mark Wheel.
Who is this baby to your feet? The.

(01:06:39):
Come down here. You haven't found something.
You see your sands from fighting.
Wait for the dead. Wait.
It's. Closer out here.
But in the wind you ain't no creature.
We're playing found and you tookyour grits on the almighty day.

(01:07:02):
You got a dream. Who in your life to keep our
soul in every man. Take your turn behind your eyes.
Feel the soul revolution now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

(01:07:25):
yeah, yeah. Take a moment.
We will see you see him quite the better with you.
More clear You gotta, you gotta you gotta you gotta

(01:08:04):
you gotta.