Embracing Discomfort: Transforming Limiting Beliefs Through Patience and Discipline

In this episode of The Circle Podcast, we explore the discomfort that comes with breaking free from limiting beliefs and stepping into a more empowered way of being. Transformation isn’t instant—it requires patience, discipline, and a willingness to sit with discomfort rather than avoid it.

Eric and Tim unpack why growth often feels unsettling and why staying committed to the process—whether in men’s work, fitness, or mindset practices—is essential for real change. They challenge the myth of instant gratification, discuss the role of embodiment in rewiring thought patterns, and share strategies for navigating resistance when shifting long-held beliefs.

Through candid conversation, they go all in on:

• Why discomfort is a necessary part of transformation
• How limiting beliefs keep us stuck in old narratives
• The connection between physical practice and mindset shifts
• Why structure, discipline, and repetition are key to lasting change

If you’ve ever felt frustrated with slow progress or struggled to trust the process, this episode will help you reframe discomfort as a sign of growth—not failure

Episode Transcript

Eric Bomyea (00:05):
Welcome back to The Circle. Today, we're getting
comfortable getting a littleuncomfortable. We're exploring
what it means to sit withdiscomfort, especially as it
relates to challenging ourlimiting beliefs with new world
views. Tim, are you ready to goall in?

Timothy Bish (00:18):
I'm ready.

Eric Bomyea (00:19):
Alright. Let's go. Tim, over the last two weeks,
we've explored limiting beliefsand the discomfort that comes
with challenging them. Whatstood out to you the most in the
circles that you led over thelast two weeks, and what were
there any moments that reallyhit home for you?

Timothy Bish (00:34):
A lot of them. The thing that stood out to me the
most was when we identified ourlimiting belief, any one of us
in the circle, and we tried tocreate the new occurring
worldview, the the positivereframe, the uplifted version of
it, like, the opposite, the mostcommon thing that I heard was,

(00:56):
well, that doesn't feel good andI don't believe it. And that was
a thing that I could relate to,but then I realized, oh, but
there's a teaching in, well,you're not probably going to
believe it right away. Now firstof all, wouldn't it be great if
we could? To be like, oh, I'vealways thought I'm not good

(01:17):
enough, and then I'm goodenough.

Eric Bomyea (01:19):
Magic wand.

Timothy Bish (01:20):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I exactly. And so it was this
idea that you're gonna have towork with it, and it's gonna be
uncomfortable.
Kind of a fake it till you makeit situation where I have to
come back over and over and overagain and see how it feels. And

(01:41):
then being open to thepossibility that it might need
to shift or morph a little bituntil it actually kinda starts
to fit. But the initial feeling,well, it's fake, not real,
uncomfortable, feels like a lie,and so I immediately want to

(02:02):
abandon it, stood out to me.Because I'm like, oh, that's
part of our messaging that thepractice is gonna be sticking
with it for a while. We won'teven know how it how it's doing
until we give it some time,which is true for so many
things.
You think about a workoutregimen. I want to lose weight.

(02:25):
I wanna get bigger biceps.Whatever the thing is, and you
you can't expect that after oneworkout, everything is what you
wanted. That's not how it works.
And this is the same idea.That's what stood out to me
because I think we need acontext for the journey, the
process, and that part of itwill feel maybe a little fake or

(02:50):
put on until it doesn't.

Eric Bomyea (02:53):
Yeah. There's a lot of discomfort in being patient
and being disciplined. So myjourney over the last three
weeks as we've been exploringthis topic pretty deeply, not
just in the men's embodimentcircles here in Provincetown,
but also in the men's workintensive that I'm a part of
right now, have been veryuncomfortable for me. And a part

(03:13):
of it has been exactly whatyou're talking about, this
almost like like, preconceivednotion that I have being a, you
know, a child of the ninetiesof, like, instant gratification.
Right?
Like, I'm playing the video gameand I want the level up. Like, I
want it to, like, happenimmediately. And I, you know, am
struggling with some of thereframed beliefs because I'm

(03:35):
like, Ah, they're not working. Itried them on. They fit really
good, but, like, why aren't theydoing their magic?
And then I have to sit and Ihave to rest with, like, Oh,
right. This requires discipline.This requires patience just like
my fitness journey. Right? Like,I didn't lose 70 pounds
overnight.

Timothy Bish (03:50):
Right.

Eric Bomyea (03:50):
I lost 70 pounds over the a year and a half.

Timothy Bish (03:53):
And you probably needed to see the first five to
then be like, oh, I did thefirst five. I can do five more.
I can so this brings me to, atopic, I think I've spoken about
it already, about The Secret. Wetalked about The Secret, the
that that movie and that bookabout the law of attraction.

(04:14):
Right?
And I can't tell you how manypeople I know that have read
that book or watched thatdocumentary or or both that
thought to themselves, oh, well,I have to visualize a check for
a million dollars, and then it'sgonna come to me. And, like, in
the in the the movie, they talkabout, I visualize this, like,

(04:35):
this feather of this bird, andthe exact feather, like,
manifested in front of me. Youknow? That's all great, and I'm
not suggesting that it didn'thappen. But I know it didn't
happen because you thought aboutit once.

Eric Bomyea (04:51):
Right.

Timothy Bish (04:51):
Full stop. Or or if you did think about it once,
it's because you've been workingwith this, practice and idea for
decades, and now you're so goodat manifesting that maybe you
thought about it once. But thetruth is, you want that check
for a million dollars? You can'task one time. You have to ask
over and over and over.

(05:12):
Through repetition, the magicarises. This is what Sharon
Gannon of Jiva Mukti Yoga, thecofounder of Jiva Mukti Yoga,
the method or the lineage inwhich I am trained, would say
that through repetition themagic arises. So you have to do
it over and over and over. Andwe live in a culture where I
want to get the prescription andtake the pill and be thin or I

(05:38):
want, you know, to immediatelybe without pain, and I get it. I
want that too.
But I think the teachings aretelling us, no. You have to come
back again and again and againover and over and over. And
making that okay and saying it'sokay to be uncomfortable right
now. This belief may not feellike it's totally right for you,

(06:00):
but the way you're gonna findout the belief that is right for
you is through the practice oftrying them on. You're never
gonna find it out by just notthinking it because

Eric Bomyea (06:12):
it's uncomfortable. Mhmm. And something that I'm
also hearing is, like, kind ofthis discernment between
recognizing what isuncomfortable and something that
I can, bring discipline andpractice to to, like, work
through and beyond while alsohaving the discernment of
figuring out, like, oh, maybethat thing needs to shift or
change a little bit. So in thethe context of new world views,

(06:36):
right, like, I've tried on acouple. So, for the folks
listening, I have a couplelimiting beliefs that I'm
working through.
The primary one is that I don'tmatter, that I'm gonna, be left
behind, that I'm gonna beforgotten, that I'm not
important. So all these thingsthat, like, the back of my hand
is just, like, just constantlyon repeat telling myself. And so
I'm reframing it.

Timothy Bish (06:57):
But the reframed the reframed version is from the
the very crisp I don't matter.

Eric Bomyea (07:02):
Yes. Okay. Right.

Timothy Bish (07:03):
So from I don't matter, you went to?

Eric Bomyea (07:06):
That I'm worth fighting for. And I tried that
on for a little bit, and I said,okay. Like, this this kinda
feels okay, but still feels alittle uncomfortable. And I had
to sit with theuncomfortableness of, like, is
it because it doesn't fit? Andthen I I have to, like, wiggle
it and, like, break it in alittle bit, or is it because
it's not the one?
And so I've also tried as simpleas I am important. I matter.

(07:29):
Right? As just trying to figureout, like, can I sharpen it up a
little bit and, like, make it alittle more specific that way?
And, you know, those those havealso been a little
uncomfortable.
And then I've also just, like,played around with the idea of,
like, moving away from, like, Iam statements and played around
with, like, you know, life ingeneral. Right? Like, I've I've
made my life so hard with theselimiting beliefs. So let me try

(07:52):
something out. Life is easy.
Let me just tell myself life iseasy. Instead of telling myself
every day that life is hardbecause I have all of these
limiting beliefs that arekeeping me down, let me try
reframing it to life is easy.

Timothy Bish (08:06):
Well, how did it feel?

Eric Bomyea (08:07):
That one is starting to feel comfortable.

Timothy Bish (08:09):
How long did it take for it to start to feel
comfortable?

Eric Bomyea (08:12):
Immediately. As soon as it happened. And that's
that's, again, the the the trickthat I'm or the discernment that
I'm talking about is, like, wasI running away from the
discomfort of these otherlimiting beliefs because they
felt like they didn't feel good?And I was, like, trying to
search for that pill, that magicpill that was gonna make me feel
good instantly.

Timothy Bish (08:32):
Mhmm.

Eric Bomyea (08:32):
Right? Like, did I lack discipline, or was I being
truthful to myself? It's like,no. There's I'm gonna listen to
this discomfort and actually tryto find something else over
here. And so that's kind of beenmy journey is, like, what what
do I want to sit with andconsciously choosing what do I
want to sit with versus whatmight I want to explore.

Timothy Bish (08:49):
Well, the I think the important thing that you
mentioned was that yourecognized there was a
discomfort in your originaloccurring new occurring
worldview, and you continue towork with it until something
else bubbled up Yes. As opposedto it doesn't feel good, so it

(09:11):
doesn't work, and I'm done withit. That, I think, whatever
whatever that is is theimportant component. Well, you
keep working until another thingpops up, another option, you
know, arises, and then you startto, like, try that one on. So
it's a continual process.

Eric Bomyea (09:28):
Right. Like, I didn't give up on the practice.
Right. Right? Yeah.
I'm I'm trying differenttechniques within the practice,
and I'm trying different thingson within the practice, but I
because I still have faith. Istill believe that what I'm
doing is for my greater good.

Timothy Bish (09:42):
Mhmm.

Eric Bomyea (09:42):
And so I still believe in the practice itself,
and I didn't give up on thepractice. I didn't say, I'm done
with these new world views. I'mgonna take down all of my index
cards. And that's part of thethe work is, like, through this
exercise, writing down these newworld views and placing them up
on mirrors and strategicallythroughout my apartment and kind
of, like, confronting myself andconfronting the discomfort, on a

(10:06):
daily basis, on a regular basis.So every time I go up and down
the stairs, I have them, like,taped up there.
And so that's kind of been like,I'm not going through the house
and, like, removing all of them,but I'm going through and I'm
adjusting them. And I'm saying,okay, that one like, I've sat
with that one for a couple days.It's still feeling a little
uncomfortable. So let me, like,tune in to myself. Why does it

(10:27):
feel uncomfortable?
Is it because I'm uncomfortablein this process, or is it
because it isn't the one rightnow?

Timothy Bish (10:34):
Well, a really big component of men's work is the
ability and the willingness tohave a relationship with the
things in your life that makeyou uncomfortable, especially if
those things matter to you andyou care about them and you you
don't necessarily want toabandon everything that

(10:54):
challenges you. And so we startto create this relationship
where can I stick with a withsomething that's uncomfortable
long enough to allow their spacefor transformation? If you think
about a relationship, forexample, every relationship I've

(11:14):
ever been in, there's alwaysbeen a moment when, oh, there's
a tough conversation, an insightthat is needed, an apology, or,
you know, even with the best ofintentions, sometimes it can go
a little awry. And imagine if wejust walked away from it because

(11:37):
it's uncomfortable. Like, no.
You don't. You need the abilityto stick with it, to speak your
truth, to hear another truth, toown what is yours and take
responsibility, and do repairwork. If we don't have the
capacity to be a littleuncomfortable, we will run from

(11:58):
one thing to the next. Andgenerally, we'll run from one
problem to the next problem tothe next problem because
eventually they will come. Anddeveloping the skill set to meet
that and to stay in it withoutcrumbling is, I think, a main
thrust of men's work and why wedo it.

Eric Bomyea (12:19):
It's it's work that I'm deeply appreciating now
because I I do have a tendencyto avoid. I do have a tendency
to run in this process alone.I've shared this with you, and
I'll share with all of you that,like, during this process, like,
I've I've felt myself startingto to to crumble in certain
parts of my life and andstarting to really, look for the

(12:39):
exit. Right? Like, burn it alldown, run away.
Right? Because I'm sitting inthe discomfort. I'm sitting in
pain and, like, I'm like, thingsare coming up, and my my default
programming has been run away.Like restart, reset. So, like,
part of it is like, I was, like,I'm in the process of closing

(13:02):
down my shop here inProvincetown, and I was getting
so overwhelmed.
And a big part of me was like,throw everything in the trash.
Destroy everything. Bring it tothe dump. Like, remove all
traces so that I don't have todeal with the pain of my

(13:25):
failure. You don't have to sitthere and go through the
memories of all the experiencesthat I've had, the good, the
bad.
Right? Like, that was a bigpart. I was like, that was my
avoidant personality comingthrough hardcore where I was
like, oh, it's uncomfortable orI'm going to experience
discomfort while doing thisprocess. Well, let me try to

(13:45):
find the easy way out. Let mefind the exit that is gonna
cause me the least amount ofharm.
But what that is gonna do isexactly what you said. It's
going to lead me to anotherproblem. I cannot keep running
away from these things. And so Isat with it, y'all. I, like, I
sat with it, and I, like,actually sat in the shop the
other day.
And I, like, categorized andinventoried and, like, like,

(14:06):
organized things nicely. And Itook photos of them, and I put
them up on the community space,up on the Facebook marketplace.
And I have some buyers or someprospective people that are
interested in, like, like,wanting these things that could,
like, help them out and help meout as well to, like, find that
closure and having thediscipline to, like, sit within
and stick to it.

Timothy Bish (14:25):
Thank you for sharing that. I would like for
us to all reflect in this momenton the majority of the people in
our lives in the world that weadmire. Often, like, my favorite
example is, of course, always anOlympian. Right? But even
successful people in businessand, you know, what these people

(14:51):
have in common is their abilityto live in and work with a
discomfort.
And now there are so many kindsof discomfort. So we're not just
talking about physicaldiscomfort, but emotional and
intellectual, financial, like,you know, circumstantial, all
kinds of discomfort, but thewillingness to work through it

(15:15):
generally in pursuit of apurpose. So when we think about
the Olympian, my favoriteexample, it's so easy for us to
idolize and admire the goldmedalist, and that that person
gets to step up onto the podium.They get the medal and the
flower. They get the flag andthe anthem.

(15:37):
They get that moment. And thatmoment, as I've observed it, you
know, lasts, you know, two orthree minutes for the the
ceremony. And let's let's saythat they get a week or two of
of, like, walking around theOlympic Village feeling amazing.
You know? But what it took, allthe times that they didn't sleep

(16:02):
in, all the times that they madedietary choices or, you know,
jumped to the pool or went tothe gym when they were tired,
all the all the parties thatthey missed, you know, and we
have to remember, oh, that ispart of what got them there.
And so when we see that, werealize if we could create a

(16:25):
relationship with our owndiscomfort and a relationship
with our own edges so that webecome clear about when we are
choosing or not choosingsomething versus running or
hiding, I think we're gonna livea more empowered life.

Eric Bomyea (16:42):
The the perseverance of an athlete like
that, of an Olympian, thatthat's the word that kept coming
up to me as I was hearing youtalk about that was perseverance
in pursuit of passion orpurpose. Right? Like, something
that, like, keeps going. So evenif the the ceremony, even if the
celebration is only two minuteslong, that impact of that moment

(17:04):
is going to compound for thenext challenge that comes up.
Like, it's still gonna be, like,in that person's, like, core.
Right? Like, oh, I did all ofthat. Right? I have proved that
I am strong, and I can do hardthings. Like, what happens when
the next thing comes up?
Right? And in in the case of anOlympian, maybe it's not
something physical. Maybe it'ssomething emotional or mental.

(17:25):
Right? That that that's the,like, the thing that, like,
could be, like, a really bigchallenge for them.
Maybe something physical is,like, an easier thing for them.
Right? Maybe something comes up,but that they can bring that
that that practice, they couldbring that experience. It's in
their body now, right, of thatperseverance. I know what it's
like to persevere throughsomething.

Timothy Bish (17:44):
I think it's likely that a person who has
persevered through discomfort inone area of their life can apply
at least part of that to adifferent area

Eric Bomyea (17:57):
of their life. Absolutely. It's it's been
coming up for me as I've, like,been working through this and,
like, working through somephysical discomfort recently.
And I'm like, you know, I I knowthat, like, I have, like, an
intellectual resiliency. Workingon my emotional resiliency and
my feelings resiliency, but myphysical resiliency, you know,

(18:18):
has been a challenge for most ofmy life.
And it has been throughrecognizing that I have
persevered through so many otherthings that I can bring that
loving attention to, like, aphysical practice that may, you
know, cause me to crumble.

Timothy Bish (18:34):
Right? And so in men's work, we very consciously
put ourselves in these momentsof challenge near our edge
physically, emotionally, withbreath and, you know, all kinds
of tools and instruments, to getgreater clarity about our
relationship with it. Now I'mcurious, there's a lot of queer

(18:56):
people who I would argue arevery familiar with discomfort,
discomfort from a lot of levelsand a lot of places. And so,
what would you say about takingthat experience, whatever it

(19:17):
might be, and, reframing it oror or turning it so that it can
become a practice and a powerand a source of and a source of
authentic expression?

Eric Bomyea (19:29):
I'll just speak from my own experience. Like, it
is me recognizing that I amstronger than I know. I am
stronger than I have givenmyself credit for. I am stronger
than other people have given mecredit for. And, like, the
moments of discomfort in thepast have I've been a runawayer.
I've been a quitter. I said thisthe other day in circle, like,

(19:51):
I'm a quitter. I am somebodythat will, like, will give up
very quickly, especiallyphysically, right? If I was
asked to do pushups and do liketwo pushups and then all of a
sudden I'd start gettinguncomfortable and I'd be like,
can't do it, done, right? Eventhough I'm sure if I had applied

(20:15):
myself a little bit more, Icould have gotten to number
three, maybe even four.
And I've proven to myself overand over and over again that I
could actually this summer, Igave myself a challenge. It was
a pull up challenge. I'd neverbeen able to do a pull up
growing up. I grew up. I was avery overweight kid, did not
enjoy physical activity at all.

(20:36):
Right? I'm definitely likeNewton's law of motion. Right?
Like an object at rest stays atrest. Right?
Like, I was that's where I was.Like, I was very comfortable
being at rest. And so I wasworking through some things this
summer, and one of my challengesto myself was like, I wanna see
if I could do a pull up. Firstone, couldn't do it. Couldn't
even, like, like, could barely,like, like, do an inch.

(20:58):
But I went back every day. I wasdoing them down at the beach at
a dock where I could, like,like, jump up and, like, grab
onto a two by four and, like,see if I could, like, pull
myself up. So me and my dogwould go on the beach, and I
would, like, challenge myself.And I did this every morning for
a month. By the end of themonth, I was doing over 10 pull
ups.
And I was so happy with myprogress and so happy with

(21:20):
myself because I was strongerthan I gave myself credit for.
And I sat with it and I tried.And, like, it was so
uncomfortable at first. And,like, I can apply that to so
many areas of my life of, like,being so uncomfortable in so
many situations and, like, justreminding myself that I'm
stronger or I have the capecapability if I apply. If I

(21:42):
truly want something, then Ihave I have the means within me
to, like, work through thediscomfort because I know that
on the other side is somethingthat I could be super proud of
and, you know, happy with.

Timothy Bish (21:55):
And it occurs to me that an understanding that
most of us experience discomfortand have this process and a
desire to run away from it and,could be comforting for people
who are in severe discomfort anddon't know what to do or maybe
don't have resource. So I'mthinking a lot of like queer

(22:17):
people who might have to leavetheir homes or change their
lives, in order to be who theyare. And just knowing that
you're not entirely alone feelslike one step. But then allowing

(22:38):
a person the space to claim anddiscuss their discomfort and
what is happening for them feelslike another important step. So
hopefully, that's part of thethe process to be like, you're
allowed to be uncomfortable, andyou're allowed to tell people
you're uncomfortable and ask forhelp.
And the more we are aware of thediscomfort that we have

(23:00):
persevered through, likely themore empathy will bring to a
person going through what weonce went through. So the kind
of bringing to our community aconversation about this,
especially in this moment whenthere might be a lot more
discomfort coming.

Eric Bomyea (23:18):
And I love that of, like, just sharing openly that,
like, it's okay to experiencediscomfort. We all experience
discomfort. And I think, youknow, the severity of situation
aside, like, I think just beingable to relate that, like, oh,
you've gone through somethingchallenging and you sat through
it. Like, that may give me alittle bit of of, like, ease to

(23:40):
understand that, like, oh, like,this person has something in
common with me. And I also thinkabout, like, even the athlete.
Like, I typically don't look atan Olympian or or somebody with
that level of of empathy that,like, oh, they've gone through a
bunch of things of uncomfort ordiscomfort, right, to make it
through that. I'm like, oh, theywere, like, naturally gifted,
and, like, they have an entireteam behind them. And I think of

(24:00):
all these negative things that Ican tell myself about it. And I
don't actually think about thetimes that they've experienced
discomfort because many times,at least for me growing up,
those superstars didn't revealthat. Right?
Right. And so I

Timothy Bish (24:14):
I We live in a culture where we want our heroes
to be Superman. We want them to,you know, be impenetrable and
just shining and and, like, youknow, unaffected by the lowly
things of pain and struggle. Butthe truth is

Eric Bomyea (24:36):
They do.

Timothy Bish (24:36):
They had to that's how they got there.

Eric Bomyea (24:40):
Yeah. And I think, like, just me now, like,
processing that, like, realizingthat, like, I start to build
that a little bit more, like,empathy and, like, appreciation
for that effort. Right? Like,just because, you know, somebody
hasn't expressed that they had abunch of moments of discomfort,
I can imagine that they probablyhave. Right?

(25:02):
And I and I hope like, it wouldbe my hope that we can all just
express when we are goingthrough a little discomfort a
little bit more frequently. AndI think because it gives
motivation. It gives like, itinspires me to be like like, oh,
like, that person didn't getthere. That person didn't just,
like, magically, like, be thebest. That person didn't
magically be the best athlete orthe most spiritual enlightened

(25:23):
person.
Right? It took time, and it tookdiscipline, and it took an
insane amount of of time sittingin discomfort.

Timothy Bish (25:29):
It also took and this is the point I like to
drill home for everyone doingembodiment practice and yoga
practice and personal growthpractice, it required those bad
days. It required the badpractices. And so we just had
someone last night talkingabout, their experience in the
circle and how transformative itwas, and I think anyone who's

(25:53):
ever meditated, has had that sitor a few sits where you're like,
woah. Like, that was amazing.The time flew by.
I was, you know, deeplyconnected or it felt good
somehow. But there are so manyother ones that are tricky or

(26:14):
challenging or you're like, Idon't wanna do it or this is
hard, or I feel that droplet ofsweat. Or but in my yoga
training, there was there wasthis ant crawling on me, and I
was gonna go crazy. I was like,oh my god. But so much value in
persevering through thosemoments.
And so I think almost every timein circle, I will say, like, I'm

(26:37):
really glad you had a great,delicious, beautiful experience.
They're so important becausethey will nourish us and
encourage us to keep going. Butyou're gonna have to remember it
in that moment when you're like,ugh, that one was rough. Yeah. I
didn't wanna do it, or I didn'tlike it, or I was tired, or, you
know, because there's value inthat too.

(26:57):
Absolutely. And when I thinkabout my training as a dancer,
all of the ballet classes I tookand all of the modern dance
classes I took and thepartnering classes, and I would
have classes where I'm like, Ifeel amazing. I feel great. I'm
gonna be a star. And then somany others where you're like, I
feel terrible.

(27:19):
I don't you know? And I think Isaw this somewhere, like, the
law of thirds, where if a thirdof the time you're feeling
great, and a third of the timeyou feel kind of middle, and a
third of the time you're feelingbad, then you're pretty much on
track because it's it isunreasonable to think that in
any process, in pursuit ofsomething we care deeply about,

(27:42):
we're gonna feel great all thetime. Mhmm. Because growth
doesn't really work like that.Something's coming up for you.
Yeah. Yeah. What's coming up?It's

Eric Bomyea (27:53):
beautifully said. I I think I'm just realizing now
in this moment that, like, I'veeither had so many expectations
to, like, want my life to to be,like, 90% good.

Timothy Bish (28:10):
Right?

Eric Bomyea (28:11):
And, like, I've pushed away and and avoided the
neutral and the uncomfortable ormy life has been full of
uncomfortable moments that Ican't see the light at the end.
And it's like, it's just the,like, the beautiful reminder
that, like, yeah, life is abalance, and it's okay to not be

(28:36):
okay. And it's okay to be okay,and it's okay to be good. And,
like, it's just like the waythat you said it just it just
hit me, and I was like, oh,yeah. You can relax there.
It's it's okay to not be okay.You know? And then if it happens
more than a third of the time,maybe then ask for a little bit
of help.

Timothy Bish (28:56):
Like Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think this is really
built into the concept ofcontentment, contentment as this
idea of, you know, a highachieved state because
contentment doesn't mean thatyou don't have challenges,
doesn't mean you don't haveresponsibility, or that you

(29:17):
don't have to wake up earlierthan you want sometimes or any
of that. But it's this sort ofoverarching sense of, like, of
awareness of what is happeningand, and why it's happening, and
there's a sweetness to it thatis grounded in reality. Oh, I

(29:39):
have to wake up at 05:30 thismorning, and I would love to
sleep until seven, but I youhave this aware you know?
So I can still have contentmenteven when I am having to work
hard or do something a littleuncomfortable. And then I can
still have moments of incrediblesweetness, and maybe even

(30:03):
sweeter because they arejuxtaposed to the moment that
was a little more challenging. Ijust keep thinking right now, my
Tuesday mornings are the morningI don't have to wake up. And
every other morning, I wake uppretty early, but sometimes,
like, earlier than others, andsometimes it's a little

(30:23):
uncomfortable. But, I don't wakeup on those mornings in a bad
mood.
I'm not angry about it. I have acontentment around it. But then
on Tuesday, there's a sweetnesswhere I I have no alarm set.
Mhmm. And I know when I wake up,I have my morning routine, but

(30:44):
there's a cold brew waiting forme, and don't have to hurry.
It's that. It's not that I don'thave stuff to do later that day
or that it won't be hard.Contentment. Yeah.

Eric Bomyea (30:59):
Really sweet, delicious. Just Cold brew? On
hurry. An on hurry cold brew.

Timothy Bish (31:06):
So yummy.

Eric Bomyea (31:07):
A just leisurely morning. Yeah. It's it's
sometimes the sweetness, and itcan be, you know, the reward.

Timothy Bish (31:15):
But I think so the whole reason I brought that up
is I think that contentmentcomes with a recognition that
there will be times when it ischallenging. There will be times
where it feels kinda neutral,and there will be times when it
feels not good. And if what Ithink is that I should only ever
exist in the third of the timewhere it feels good to great,

(31:38):
then I will be disappointed whenit doesn't feel good to great
all the time. But if Irecognize, oh, I'm existing in
the spectrum, and there will bedays where it feels better and
other days where it won't, thenI can then I can celebrate the
small victories. I can celebratethe moment that I went to the
gym and did a workout even if itwasn't the greatest workout I've

(32:00):
ever done because it was betterthan no workout.
Right? I can search it, and andI've seen this in my clients,
and I'll I'll remind them, like,I'm glad you had a great
workout, but yesterday's wasgreat too. Even though you
didn't you're not having thesame experience, and we start to
think of things in this broaderview. So this idea of being
comfortable with discomfort, butthen also celebrating it.

(32:23):
Celebrating a little bit ofdiscomfort because, oh, it's
from growth.
Like, this discomfort is pre ispropelling me towards truth and
understanding. Otherwise, Icould just maybe stay where I'm
at.

Eric Bomyea (32:38):
It was a the beautiful moment from circle
last night was that reminder of,like, we, Tim closed practice
last night with, like, thatinvitation to, like, celebrate
ourselves for making it throughfor, like, sitting through
discomfort through severalchallenging practices. And it
was a really beautiful exercise.And, you know, your Tuesday
morning routine also sounds likethat. It's a celebration. Right?

(33:01):
And, like, I am guilty of this.I do not celebrate nearly
enough. I am a go go go type ofperson, and I'm always onto the
next. And I think just takingeven if it's just that two
minutes of you know, the theOlympics celebration is only two
minutes at the podium. Right?
Just taking it, celebrating itin in whatever it is that I've

(33:23):
persevered through. Right? LikeYeah. I think we'll we'll go a
long way for for a while.

Timothy Bish (33:28):
And let's make it less grand because most of us
are not gonna get that Olympicmoment, but we can take a second
to celebrate. Oh, I went to thegym, and going to the gym is
hard for me. Or, like, for me,I'm not, like, a home, like
like, do it yourself kind ofperson.

Eric Bomyea (33:50):
No DIY from Tim here.

Timothy Bish (33:51):
I mean, I would like to get better at it, and I
you know? But I'm not great atit now. And Don't But but, like,
my life circumstance right nowis such that I have to try to
figure out solutions. And so Ifound a solution yesterday. If I
were to tell you all that'swatching or listening what the
solution is, it would feelfairly unimpressive.

(34:12):
But, oh, okay. I wanna hear it.Let's celebrate.

Eric Bomyea (34:13):
Let's celebrate it.

Timothy Bish (34:14):
There was this key and a lock, and the key broke
off of the lock. And I was like,I have to I have to get that
broken key out of the lock, andI don't know how to do that. And
so I had to try to figure outhow to do it. Mhmm. Like, I got
every tweezer in my house.
I was like, I was trying a wholebunch of stuff. I was really

(34:36):
uncomfortable because I'm like,oh, should I know how to do
this? Should I know who to call?How much does it cost to have
someone do this? But then Ifigured it out.
I did have the help of a friend,but I figured it out. And then I
I said, okay. I there was athing I didn't know how to do.

(34:57):
Mhmm. And I used my skills andfigured it out.
I can celebrate that.

Eric Bomyea (35:04):
Absolutely.

Timothy Bish (35:06):
And now maybe I'll be more prone to figuring more
things out Mhmm. Which, youknow, I'm gonna have plenty to
figure out, in the coming weeksand months. And, and reminding
myself that it is possiblehelps.

Eric Bomyea (35:25):
Mhmm.

Timothy Bish (35:26):
So it's part of the practice. And so we talk
about this in yoga. Part of theyoga practice, there's a sutra,
Stila Sukham Asana, we've talkedabout this. The connection to
the earth should be steady andjoyful, and so part of the
practice of yoga asana ispracticing steadiness and
practicing joyfulness. Peoplewill forget that.

(35:47):
We are supposed to practicejoyfulness. I believe we're
supposed to practicecontentment, and we're supposed
to practice celebration inconjunction with practicing our
relationship to discomfort sothat in real life, you know,
we're in an embodiment circleand we're all in chi generator,

(36:07):
and it's challenging. Well, thatchi generator is helping us
create a relationship withdiscomfort so that when I'm
going through a divorce andwhatever comes up there or I
have a deadline at work andwhatever comes up there or, you
know, whatever, I am withcontext on how I am in those

(36:31):
moments. Because I can't nonenone of us could ever control
how other people are in thosemoments, but there's power in
knowing how you are. Oh, so whatdo you need?
In order for me to I've beenhere before. I've been in
discomfort before and I knowwhat my triggers are or what my
habits are. So what do I need?Oh, do I need to take a five

(36:52):
minute break? Do I need to callmy friend?
Do I need a glass of water? Do Ineed to go into the bathroom and
shake? Do I need like, what whatdo I need? And so when I talk to
people about doing the practice,it's for that reason because the
alternative because the thing isembodiment circles can be
uncomfortable. They will bringus to our edge.
And so sometimes people are,like, hesitant to do it a little

(37:15):
bit like a detox where I do adetox and sometimes initially
you feel worse before you feelbetter. They're like, well, I'm
starting to feel bad. I don'twanna do this anymore. Like, but
the alternative is you areplaying craps with your life,
and every every interaction youhave is a roll of the dice. And
probably like the rule ofthirds.

(37:37):
Occasionally that dice roll willbe, you know, medium, and
occasionally it'll be amazingand congratulations, but
sometimes it's gonna be reallybad. So rather than having it,
like, up to chance, what if youhad some tools? What if you had
some practices and some thingsyou could do so that you could
be more content? That's why wedo this work.

Eric Bomyea (38:00):
And thank you, for sharing about your example with,
like, solving the key problem.

Timothy Bish (38:05):
I was so embarrassed. It's
congratulations. I mean, that'sit.

Eric Bomyea (38:08):
It's a big

Timothy Bish (38:09):
Thank you. The key is out, and the and the lock
works.

Eric Bomyea (38:12):
Alright. Wait. So, like, it actually reminds me,
like, I had an uncomfortablemoment the other day. We were
doing a yoga practice.

Timothy Bish (38:21):
You and I?

Eric Bomyea (38:22):
You and I.

Timothy Bish (38:23):
Okay.

Eric Bomyea (38:23):
And my yoga strap came, like, kinda done because I
was using it, my yoga mat strap.So, like,

Timothy Bish (38:32):
it It was not to be clear for the listeners, you
were using the strap to carryyour yoga mat, which is not a
yoga strap.

Eric Bomyea (38:39):
Yeah. Yeah. It it's a it's

Timothy Bish (38:40):
a It's like over the shoulder. It's like it's
like a carry harness.

Eric Bomyea (38:43):
It's like it's like a shoelace with plastic clips.
It's it's not glove.

Timothy Bish (38:48):
It is not a yoga strap. Yep.

Eric Bomyea (38:50):
It is something that I use to carry the yoga mat
around. And I was using it as ayoga strap, and I was using it
to stretch. And I, I love thatyou what I

Timothy Bish (38:59):
Straighten your legs right here as you yeah.

Eric Bomyea (39:01):
Yeah. What I thought was, like, as I was
doing it, I was, like, trying tobend over. And, like, it broke.
It snaps. And I was like, oh,crap.
Like, how am I gonna like, allthese things. So, like, after we
finished our practice, I, like,sat there, and I was like, I was
trying to fix it. Mhmm.

Timothy Bish (39:16):
And I

Eric Bomyea (39:16):
was giving myself because my instinct was throw it
away. Run away.

Timothy Bish (39:20):
Mhmm.

Eric Bomyea (39:20):
Abandon. Yeah. Right? Exit lever. Like, so much
so much of my history has beenlike, throw it away, start over.
Right? Oh, I'll just go findanother shoestring to, like,
use. It's fine. And so that wasmy default, but I was like, no.
Sit with it.
Try to fix it. And so I tried acouple of times and even told
you, I was like, I'm gonna givemyself two more times before I

(39:42):
hand this over to you. And Itried two more times and then I
had the humility to say, Tim, Icannot figure this out. Can you
help me? And then I handed itover to you, and you tried a
couple times, and you're like,well, okay.
Like, let me try to figure thisout. And then you grabbed a
tool, you grabbed a fork, andyou, like, poked it through and,
like, it ended up working. And,like, we saved the the yoga

(40:04):
strap that's not actually a yogastrap. Right? But it was just,
like, an example of, like,persevering through something
that was, like, causing me a lotof discomfort in a lot of ways,
layers of discomfort.
Right? The first one was like,okay. I'm just gonna throw away
my problem. Actually, not gonna,like, face this. I was like, no.
I'm gonna try to face this. Andthen it was like, okay. I'm
trying and I'm not succeeding.So now I have a choice. I can

(40:27):
either throw it away or I canask for help.
Hugely uncomfortable for me. Ihate asking for help.

Timothy Bish (40:34):
So I have a few things to say, but first thing
would be, I think we've all beenthere where I'm feeling stressed
or I have I have a I'm having asensation about a thing, and it
can impact my ability to solvethat thing. So I think the
solution I found, was notunavailable to you. It might

(40:55):
have been unavailable in thatmoment because of all the other
things sort of going in yourmind. Right? The other thing I
would like to say and the othervalue of men's work and why I
think men's work is so importantor, you know, shamanic yoga,
embodiment work for all peopleis so important and specifically
for queer men is because it'salso these moments start to hone
our ability to choose our tools.

(41:18):
So if I'm a painter and I havean easel, I have to decide what
color I want for what it is I'mtrying to create. So in the
story, the thing you didn'tmention, which we're gonna talk
about because of it, was that II asked you to hand me my yoga
bag. Do you remember that? Mhmm.And then what did I do?

Eric Bomyea (41:38):
You pulled out a a real yoga strap for me.

Timothy Bish (41:40):
I provided you with an actual yoga strap.

Eric Bomyea (41:42):
Yeah.

Timothy Bish (41:43):
Right? And so so I was happy to to offer it because
I knew it was there and, youknow, it was gonna help. But
also, the more we start to workwith our edges and the more we
start to practice with ourtools, going all the way back
now to these, like, newoccurring world views like
thinking of them as a tool andyou start to practice it with it

(42:04):
and then you're like, well, isthis the right tool? Or do I
need to switch it to make it theright tool? So we can be
compassionate as we go throughthat process because how will I
know what tool I need until Itry?
So going back to the lock, Iused tweezers. They weren't the

(42:28):
wrong tool, but they weren't theright tool. And then Gordon came
over with a very particular kindof tweezer, much thinner and
more narrow, and that was thesolution. So now moving forward,
if I ever see that problemagain, I'll be like, oh, the
tweezers that I use for myeyebrows Mhmm. Are not gonna
work.

(42:49):
Almost certainly. Unless it's agiant lock, you know. I'm not
beating myself up Yeah. Yeah.That I didn't know that or that
I didn't have those tweezers,but I can celebrate that I know
it now.
Mhmm. I should probably get apair of them. I don't yeah. I I
have a lot to learn, you guys,about, like, do it yourself
stuff. But right.

(43:10):
It's it's it's ongoing journey.So the more I'm aware of what
makes me uncomfortable, the moreI'm aware of my own capacity,
and the more that I'm willing topractice with tools, especially
in the beginning when they'reuncomfortable, the more I will
understand what works for me,where my limits are, and how to
make choices around that so thatI am crumbling less and choosing

(43:36):
more. That's really where wewant to be. I want to start to
make powerful choices, and Iwant everyone, listening and
practicing with us to be able todo that too. It isn't a light
switch.
You don't go to bed and saytomorrow I'm gonna make powerful
choices. No. You need context.What does a powerful choice mean

(43:57):
to you? And just think aboutthat in the context of your own
life.
A powerful choice in service toyour physical health and a
powerful choice in service toyour mental health, and a
powerful choice in service tothe health of all of your
individual relationships, and apowerful choice with regards to

(44:17):
your career and work, they canall be so different and your
relationship with them, we haveto have room to practice and
part of practicing is failure.The ability to try something, so
not really failure, but theability to try something and

(44:40):
allow it to maybe not be thething you ultimately decide. So
I'm gonna try this tool. Is itthe tool that I need right now?
Well I won't know until I tryit, but if in three days or five
days you realize it's not thetool, you haven't failed.
You just get to choose a newtool, and like I'm gonna invite
you if you're open to it. Youand I have talked recently about

(45:03):
you changing your morningpractice, not because your
morning practice was wrong

Eric Bomyea (45:11):
Correct.

Timothy Bish (45:12):
But because through having worked with it,
you realized in this moment youmight need something else. And
and I don't want then I'll letyou talk. It may be the case
that shortly thereafter youcould go back to it. It isn't
like an all or nothing, like,I'm done forever, necessarily.
It can be this sort of evolvingprocess.

(45:33):
Would you share a little bit?

Eric Bomyea (45:35):
Yeah. So listeners, what Tim is referencing is that,
like, you know, I've I have hada morning routine and ritual for
several months now. Andrecently, I've been feeling you
know, wanting to, like, pull thethe exit lever. Right? So I I
let in a little bit about, youknow, kind of those feelings
that have been surf surfacing.

(45:56):
And part of that the other daywas, like, wanting to throw
everything out the windowbecause I was recognizing that
something is not working in mylife. And so what I did was I
said, okay. Like, I'm gonna dropone of my practices. So I
dropped one of my practices oneday. It was morning pages
because I was developing aresentment to them because I

(46:18):
couldn't bring devotion to themanymore.
I was doing them out ofobligation. I was doing them out
of obligation to myself, and Iwas not feeling good about that.
And so I was like, okay. Like,let me just prove to myself
that, like, I have autonomyhere, that, like, I can choose
to do them or not. So I chosenot to do them.
I was like, okay. Let me gothrough my day and, like, see
how it goes. And I started tohave a little bit of a spiral

(46:40):
and it's fine, but I also hadsome really good moments. And
the next morning I was like, youknow what? I think I need to
drop all of my practices.
Not saying that I'm not gonna doa morning practice, but but I'm
not gonna do those specificpractices in that specific
order. And I gave myselfpermission to flow within a
container that I set myself foran hour. I said, I'm still

(47:02):
committed to doing morningpractice. I just don't know
exactly what they are. I'm notgonna list them out, and I'm not
gonna say I'm gonna do this,then this, then this, then this.
I'm just gonna feel into what itwas that I wanted to do. And
that was so liberating and sojuicy, and it has it really,
like, reshaped my my like,recommitted to, like, my morning

(47:27):
practice just by doing that andgiving myself that permission.
Because just like, you know,like, I'm not the same person I
was yesterday. Not gonna be thesame person tomorrow. I can
change and shift and adapt.
And I think, like, giving myselfthat permission through
something like this has been asuper beneficial realization for

(47:48):
me because I do tend to be veryrigid, very structured, very way
on the, like, the the masculineside of of polarity. And, like,
giving myself that permission tobe like, you know what? I can
rest a little bit in not havinga super tight plan. Still giving
myself a little bit ofstructure, but it doesn't have

(48:09):
to be so regimented.

Timothy Bish (48:11):
Right. Well, we've talked about, there can't it
can't be no structure. Yeah. Andit can't be, no flow. There's
always yin and yang.
There's always yang and yin. Andso for people listening, as a
reminder, the choice that Ericis discussing right now isn't
one where I don't like it, so Istopped. It was I've been doing

(48:34):
it, and now I get to engage in aexploration of if it is of
service to me in this moment. Soit could sound like quitting.

Eric Bomyea (48:44):
Mhmm. Right? I mean, that's how I interpreted
it at first.

Timothy Bish (48:47):
Right. I was

Eric Bomyea (48:48):
like, I'm quitting on this. Yeah.

Timothy Bish (48:49):
Right. And so we have to make sure that, quitting
and conscious choosing can lookthe same, but I believe that
their origin is wildly differentand understanding that origin is
part of our spiritual practicebecause if I choose to try

(49:11):
something else, if I if I chooseto reword my new occurring
worldview from my limitingbelief to see if it fits better,
I'm not saying my previous oneis a failure. In the same way
that I would say that no one noone climbing a ladder or a

(49:31):
staircase looks down and says,oh, that fucking first step.
You're such a the dumb firststep. Like, you know, you're
like, I don't need no.
You needed step one

Eric Bomyea (49:40):
You get to step two.

Timothy Bish (49:41):
For step two. For step three. We're not you don't
get to step 25.

Eric Bomyea (49:45):
I have my AA program

Timothy Bish (49:46):
right now. Fuck you, step one. Oh, am I doing
oh, shit. Like, all the steps.Right.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You

Eric Bomyea (49:52):
literally you literally need step one to get
to step two. And, like, asuncomfortable as each of the
steps are You go through themand you

Timothy Bish (49:59):
Okay. So I I did not realize I was making an AA
reference. However, however, Ithere's a lot of genius in all
of that. Yeah. So What

Eric Bomyea (50:07):
was that?

Timothy Bish (50:07):
Right. So when you're on step 10, you're not
you're not mad at step one.

Eric Bomyea (50:12):
I mean

Timothy Bish (50:13):
Well, okay. Again I'm I'm not speaking about this
from, the experience of someonewho But I

Eric Bomyea (50:19):
think you can be mad at step one. It's not that,
like I think, like, we gottagive ourselves permission to be
like, you know what? Like, stepone sucked.

Timothy Bish (50:26):
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. But are we are we mad at
step one, or are we recognizingthat step one was a challenging
step to take?
Because I think those are twodifferent things. I'm not mad at
the beginner level ballet classthat I started when I first
started. I'm not like, you're astupid beginner ballet class,
and I'd like, you know, fuck youbeginner ballet. No. I'm like, I
needed that class to get to theintermediate class, to get to

(50:50):
the advanced class, to get tothe college, to get onto
Broadway and blah blah blah.
Like, so when I look back on it,I'm like, well, was it hard and
scary and uncertain and did Idid I wanna be better than I was
right away? Yeah. All of that.But am I mad at you? No.
It's like yeah. I'm like it'slike I'd it's like being mad at,
I don't know, an like, a numberor a letter or like like, it it

(51:14):
doesn't make any sense. You'relike, you were just part of
this.

Eric Bomyea (51:18):
Part of the sequence.

Timothy Bish (51:19):
Yeah. Yeah. And you're it's okay if it was hard.
Mhmm. And I think we canrecognize that it was hard, or
unpleasant or challenging.
But am I mad at you? I don'tknow. Now, again, I'm not
speaking about this from an AAperspective. So so there might
be a teaching that I don't knowwhere you should be mad at step
one.

Eric Bomyea (51:39):
No. No.

Timothy Bish (51:39):
I don't even know what step one is. I think

Eric Bomyea (51:41):
I think it's recognizing honoring that I I
can dislike something.

Timothy Bish (51:45):
It can be uncomfortable. Right. But, like
Guess what? When people go ondiets Yeah. And then they're
like, look at all the weight Ilost.
I look incredible. Well, I Ihave to imagine there were a few
moments where you were hungry oryou wanted that fucking cookie.

Eric Bomyea (51:56):
Yeah. Day one sucked. Day two also sucked
because, you know, like

Timothy Bish (51:59):
I would actually argue day one's probably not so
bad because you're like, I'mgonna change my life. It's like
day two and day three whereyou're like, I want ice cream.
Everything. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Eric Bomyea (52:07):
That's what I'm trying to say is that, like, I
think I could like, for me, I'mjust gonna speak to me. Like, I
could be mad at something that Ididn't like to do. Right? Like,
I can be mad at step one. I canstill hold on to that.
Like, I can, like, be I couldhave been mad at ballet class
one because I don't wanna do itagain. Right? Like and I I think
it's a recognition of myemotion. Right? I'm not, like,

(52:29):
resentful against it, but I canbe I can have a little anger.
I can have a little

Timothy Bish (52:33):
Well, I

Eric Bomyea (52:34):
anger towards it that I like that that was a
really shitty experience, and Ihated going through it. And,
like like, I'm just gonna honorthat. Right?

Timothy Bish (52:41):
Okay. I I mean, but but I do think we're saying
something slightly differentbecause, I my when I think about
the first few times I tookballet, which was uncomfortable
and scary, especially as a boy,where, like, are people gonna
call me names or make fun of me,there did have to be something
about it that I loved Mhmm. Or Iwouldn't have gone back. So I

(53:05):
think we're allowed I thinkanger is really important. I
think it can be a beautifulmotivating factor.
I think we wanna be true aboutour own experience. But I think
in pursuit of purpose, it feelsrare that I would be angry at
any necessary step. Feels like Imight be angry

Eric Bomyea (53:23):
In the moment? Could Could you be angry in the
moment? Like, I've been angryYeah.

Timothy Bish (53:26):
I could I could look back so I could look back
and say I was angry at in thatclass. Mhmm. But, like, am I
angry that I had to do thebeginner ballet before I did the
intermediate ballet? No. Am Icould I be angry at a teacher
who I thought wasn't meeting mein the ways I needed?
Maybe. But, like, am I angrythat I had to learn the basics

(53:49):
of yoga asana before I startedteaching it? No. Were there
moments when that wasuncomfortable or I wanted to do
it faster or be better at italready? Yeah.
So, I think it's important tohonor our emotions, and I feel
like that's what I'm hearing yousay. And I think maybe you and I
just have different, like,phrasing around because I'm not
I'm not angry about it even ifthere were moments when I was

(54:11):
angry. And there were definitelymoments when I was angry because
we were like, turn your leg out.I'm like, I don't even know what
you mean. Yeah.
So there are moments where it'dbe like, that's frustrating to
me because, oh, you know, justquick little, but my mother
tried to teach me how to drive amanual transmission. And I love
my mom. So everyone watching, Ilove my mom. Mom, I love you. I

(54:31):
know you're definitely notwatching this episode or even
know that I have a podcast, butI love you.
But I would not recommend my mombeing the person to teach you
how to drive, a manualtransmission. And so she would
just say, like, well, you justhave to feel it. And I was like,
I was like, I can't imagine aless helpful cue. And like, I

(54:56):
don't I don't know what youcould say that would that would
help me less since what you'reasking me to feel is a thing
I've never felt. Yeah.
Yeah. So you just have to feelthat moment and then I wouldn't
do it and and then she insteadof saying it in another way,
potentially offering me another,like, way of conceptualizing
this phenomenon I'm supposed tounderstand. She would just say,

(55:17):
you just have to feel it. Mhmm.And then she'd be like, don't
get frustrated.
Okay. So for people who arelistening or watching, I cannot
drive a stick. I do not know howto drive a manual transmission
in large part because thatprocess was so frustrating that

(55:38):
I was like, I'm not gonna do it.And thank God I moved to New
York City to become aprofessional dancer because then
I didn't I've I haven't owned acar, because I had the subway
for twenty five years. So ithasn't it hasn't negatively
impacted me, but I have thoughtabout if I go on the amazing
race, I would have to learnbecause we've seen so many

(55:58):
episodes where people losebecause they don't know how to
drive a a manual transmission.
Okay.

Eric Bomyea (56:02):
So I'm about to I'm about to do a a public, offer.
K? My Jeep, miss Cynthia Mhmm.Who's sitting outside is a
manual transmission. And so I'mgonna offer to Tim Bish over
here as he is so good atoffering all of us opportunities

(56:25):
to meet our edges and to sit insome discomfort.
I'm gonna offer him anopportunity to to meet that that
challenge.

Timothy Bish (56:34):
Well, what is the greater good?

Eric Bomyea (56:35):
And I

Timothy Bish (56:36):
Like like, in in So

Eric Bomyea (56:37):
that when you're on the amazing race, you know how
to drive a stick shift.

Timothy Bish (56:40):
Okay. Listen. If I get booked on the amazing race
Yeah. Then I want I want thoselessons. No.
I should. I should. I should.

Eric Bomyea (56:48):
Can you reframe your should?

Timothy Bish (56:51):
No. I do I want to? I don't know. I

Eric Bomyea (56:56):
will you choose to?

Timothy Bish (56:57):
I would like the ability to jump into a car. I
imagine the scenario in whichI'm, like, saving the day. Mhmm.
I mean, like, my real world,like, superhero moment. Oh.
And I jump in the car, and I candrive it. So, yes, I choose to
learn, but I we need tonegotiate on the time frame.

Eric Bomyea (57:15):
Of course.

Timothy Bish (57:15):
I don't think I wanna I don't think I wanna try
this week. I don't think I wannatry right away. I wanna feel You
wanna

Eric Bomyea (57:23):
go into that?

Timothy Bish (57:24):
I wanna feel more grounded in other aspects of my
life before I start doing thatbecause my recollection is a
frustrating one with my mom. Soplease don't say things like,
just feel it and don't getfrustrated. Could you wait.
Okay. So everyone's can you justguarantee that you won't say
that?

Eric Bomyea (57:40):
I will not say don't get frustrated. I will
never invalidate your feelings.Like like, I I will try hard not
to do that. I was like, I

Timothy Bish (57:47):
So what would we say? Like, I recognize you're
feeling frustrated right now?

Eric Bomyea (57:49):
Yes. And and that it is it is a frustrating
learning experience. I will,however, have to say you're
gonna have to feel when theclutch

Timothy Bish (58:00):
Yeah. There's a there's a yeah.

Eric Bomyea (58:02):
That I will I

Timothy Bish (58:03):
Can you can I invite you to find three or four
different ways to verbalizethat?

Eric Bomyea (58:07):
I will give you as many cues as I can about what
you might feel in your left footas you're engaging and
disengaging the clutch. I willdo my best, but it is a feeling
that you do have to recognize.And we'll do that in a very
safe, controlled place where,like, you can see I mean, like,
I was driving where were wedriving? Oh, to the photo shoot

(58:27):
on on Monday night.

Timothy Bish (58:29):
Mhmm.

Eric Bomyea (58:30):
Right? And I and I I stalled the Jeep in the
parking lot.

Timothy Bish (58:33):
I remember.

Eric Bomyea (58:33):
Right? Like, it was so embarrassing.

Timothy Bish (58:35):
I've been giggling. I've been giggling
ever since. Yeah.

Eric Bomyea (58:39):
Like, I've been driving sticks since I was 15
years old, and I still stall.But, like like, we can do that
so that you can stall the Jeepin a way that, like, you
recognize where that moment is.I appreciate that. Yeah.

Timothy Bish (58:50):
Well, so I'm willing to embrace some
discomfort Yay. In service togrowth

Eric Bomyea (58:57):
Mhmm.

Timothy Bish (58:58):
And I feel like that's what we've been talking
about today. And I just wannarecap that a lot of the work we
do in men's work is specificallythat. And when I think about
men's work or when I think aboutyoga, I think about them as a
life workshop. A it's lifepractice. Right?
So we put ourselves in stressfulor challenging situations so

(59:22):
that we can practice how it iswe are, who we are in those
moments. And so in the yoga mat,if you get to a really
challenging place and you startto negative self talk or want to
give up or want to run away orwant to get angry, you we the
yogi recognizes those patterns,asks themselves if it is serving

(59:46):
them, and then tries to choosesomething that is of service if
those things are not. And sothat is what we're doing here.
And so it isn't that allspiritual or personal growth
work or men's work has to alwaysbe about discomfort, But the
truth is we live more fully whenwe can navigate the inevitable

(01:00:08):
discomforts that will comethrough life. Because if all our
life was was a series of lovely,you know, happy circumstances,
then we wouldn't need any ofthis.
And the the thing is that thatit isn't that way. So our
ability to navigate, manage,communicate with, and, you know,

(01:00:32):
recognize challenging moments isour power. And then when we have
that awareness, you know,extending it to other people is
the power of compassion andempathy. So this is why we do

Eric Bomyea (01:00:47):
it. I just wanna thank you for helping me
experience so many moments ofdiscomfort over the last year.
Like, truly, like, a heartfelt

Timothy Bish (01:00:58):
thank you. Me for helping you feel uncomfortable?
Yes.

Eric Bomyea (01:01:01):
Yeah. Okay. A heartfelt thank you because
without them without them, like,I would have given up a lot
more. I would have thrown in thetowel way more. I would have
reacted way more.
I am now bringing in consciouschoice into my life on a more
regular routine basis because ofthe discomfort that you've

(01:01:24):
offered me.

Timothy Bish (01:01:25):
So Well and I just wanna throw that back and say,
it is my intention in this lifeto help people do what you just
described, but I must offer somuch gratitude to all of the
teachers in my life who've donethe same thing for me. And the

(01:01:46):
only reason why I'm able tooffer it at all to anyone is
because it was modeled to me bypowerful teachers of all kinds.
And so I couldn't even list themall right now, but I've, like, a
a deep appreciation andgratitude to every teacher in my
life that has helped meunderstand how to persevere in

(01:02:10):
pursuit of my purpose and mydeepest, most authentic
expression in in life.

Eric Bomyea (01:02:18):
With that, I'm feeling very complete. How about
yourself?

Timothy Bish (01:02:20):
I also feel complete.

Eric Bomyea (01:02:22):
Will you take us out?

Timothy Bish (01:02:22):
I will do. Let's close our eyes and take a deep
inhale. Gentle exhale throughthe mouth. And it is with deep
appreciation and gratitude forthis conversation, this circle,
this community that we were ableto engage and hopefully find
insight, knowledge, awareness,perspective. And as we leave

(01:02:47):
this circle, I wish everyonelove, community, safety, and
with these words, our containeris open, but not broken.
Uh-huh.