Steady Leadership: Julian Cyr on Calmness as a Form of Resistance

In a world that rewards quick reactions, what happens when we choose calmness as a form of resistance? In this episode of The Circle Podcast, we sit down with Massachusetts State Senator Julian Cyr to explore how steadiness, patience, and emotional regulation shape leadership, activism, and personal growth.

Senator Cyr shares his journey from growing up in a small town on Cape Cod to becoming a leading advocate for public health, LGBTQ+ rights, and economic development. He reflects on the importance of being a mooring in turbulent waters—a steady presence that holds firm as the tides of politics, culture, and personal challenges shift around us. Instead of being pulled into reactionary cycles, how can we stay anchored in our values and purpose?

Together, we go all in on:

• How calmness creates more effective leadership and advocacy
• The importance of emotional regulation in personal and public life
• Why reactionary culture fuels division—and how to counter it
• The role of community, connection, and resilience in long-term change

If you’ve ever struggled with staying grounded under pressure or felt the urge to react instead of respond, this episode explores how steadiness—like a well-anchored mooring—can be a powerful tool for transformation.

Episode Transcript

Eric Bomyea (00:05):
Welcome back to The Circle where we go all in on
men's work, embodimentpractices, and personal growth
from our queer perspective. Ifyou haven't already, please be
sure to like, subscribe, andleave us a review. Today, we're
joined by Massachusetts statesenator Julian Cyr, who
represents Cape Cod, Martha'sVineyard, and Nantucket.
Dedicated advocate for publichealth, LGBTQ plus rights, and
economic development, Julianbrings a thoughtful and measured

(00:28):
approach to leadership.Together, we're exploring how
calmness can be a form ofresistance in a world that
thrives on urgency andreactivity.
And we contemplate the question,how does staying steady shape
leadership, activism, andpersonal growth? Tim, Julian,
are you ready to go all in? I'mready. Ready. Alright.
Let's go. So, Julian, for thosewho may not be familiar with

(00:48):
your work, can you share a bitabout your role as a state
senator and what brought youinto public service?

Julian Cyr (00:53):
Well, first of all, thank you for having me, Eric
and Tim. We're neighbors andfriends, and it's been exciting
to watch, you know, this this,podcast project as an extension
of a host of good things you'redoing here, in Provincetown. So
I'm I'm someone who, I grew uphere, on the Outer Cape in
Truro. I'm a lifelong CapeCodder. Spent more years of my

(01:14):
life, waiting on tables andworking behind the line.
My family at a a long timeseasonal restaurant here, in
North Truro. It's calledAdrian's. And, you know, was
really someone who you know,when you grow up in, a tight
knit community, like, quiteliterally at Lands' End, you
know, you kinda have thisappreciation for, like, an in it

(01:34):
togetherness and and, you know,that that much of our you know,
when when when when you'remaking a life out here, right,
you know, there's very much ofthat strong, you know,
community, and I think thatcertainly, was something I grew
up with. And, you know, wasalways someone who appreciated
how special this place was, thatI was really lucky and fortunate

(01:58):
to, you know, to to to be borninto this place, in a way and
then to have a foothold here,And, you know, with someone who
also early on got really intopublic service, I had an
experience when I was, in highschool. We had pretty big budget
cuts to the regional high schoolbudget in Allstate, which is
regional school, a little up cutup cape from here.

(02:20):
And if we didn't close thebudget gap at town meeting at
four town meetings in theregional schools, we're gonna
have to lay off 40 teachingpositions and staff across the
district, probably includingmany of the the music teachers.
I was a a big choir, choir nerd.Mhmm. Also was in the orchestra
and, you know, just couldn't letthat happen. And, had never done

(02:41):
anything really political.
My parents aren't, you know, areare sort of good progressive
people, but not not reallypolitical people, and helped
instigate a student ledinitiative to convince the
voters to, pass an override, tosupport the school funding. And
we won. And so the first time inmy life, you know, I was, like,

(03:01):
17 years old where I said, hey.Wait a minute. Like, I'm you
know, I kinda understood that Icould step out into my community
and how I could go aboutinstigating change, And I've
been riffing on that ever since.
Mhmm. You know, certainly atthat time, I probably would have
been horrified to, think ofmyself, you know, about twelve,
thirteen years later, runningfor state senate, which I did

(03:22):
when I was 29 years old. Youknow, but but really studied a
lot of public policy, got reallyinto, public health policy in
particular. I was in New York,was in DC briefly, landed back
home in Massachusetts, got towork,

Eric Bomyea (03:37):
on a gubernatorial election, got to go work the
Department

Julian Cyr (03:40):
of Public Health in Massachusetts for six years, did
a tour of duty in the Obamacampaign as well, and then in
2016, ran for state senate. Iwas a first time candidate, 29
year old queer kid from thesmall town in Cape Cod. Someone
like me is probably not supposedto have this job. Right? I know
here in Provincetown, we thinkthis is sort of the center of

(04:00):
Cape Cod.
It very much is not. Right? Thisis a town of, 3,000 people.
Barnstable, the largest town inthe Senate District is, 45,000.
Right?
But, got really lucky. We workedhard, knocked over 20,000 doors,
won a competitive primary, won acompetitive general, and I was
elected, to public office, tothe state senate in 2016. And so

(04:22):
I've been working, working torepresent about the 80,000 Cape
Codters and Islanders, in theCape Cod And Islands District
since, this is most of Cape Cod.This is in the district. So
Barnstable to Provincetown andthen Nantucket and Martha's
Vineyard.
So it is a beautiful place. It'salso a place that faces really

(04:42):
persistent challenges withaffordability. We have a housing
crisis that's the worst in thestate. Big challenges related to
a wastewater. How do we stewardour economy, access to health
care in a geographic place,addiction and an opioid
epidemic, which has affected usreally severely.
So lots of big challenges thatI've gotten to sink my teeth

(05:03):
into, over these last eightyears.

Timothy Bish (05:06):
Well, thank you so much for being here, and it
sounds like you're exactly theperson who should be in your
position. Right? Like, you'vegrown up here. You understand
it, and then you can bring thatlove and the appreciation for
this place and try to make itthe best it can be. And I know
I'm grateful for having you.
You know, some of the work thatyou've done and the impact that
it's had. So we're very gladthat you are here doing what

(05:27):
you're doing and then also herewith us on this podcast. So

Eric Bomyea (05:31):
I loved hearing about your first, like, foray
into public service with thathigh school example. And so I'm
curious, as I'm sitting herewitnessing you talk, like, you
do you exude a calm energy and,like, a stableness. So I want to
know, like, can you recall backto that that time in high
school? Like, what was yourmindset like? Were you this,
like, stable ground Oh,

Julian Cyr (05:51):
hell no. And and and and maybe the stable ground and
force is, I I do a lot of theseinterviews, and, you know, as
part of this work. So you getgood at it. But as as I was,
like, thinking about thatmoment, it was actually a very
anxious time for me. You know,as someone who was coming out at
the time, I had the a remarkableprivilege of growing up at a

(06:14):
place where I I knew who queerpeople were when I was, like,
two, three, four years old.
Right? Had so many, role modelsand examples of, happy,
successful, you know, LGBTQpeople live, yeah, in my
backyard. Right? And and yetstill coming out was, you know,
even difficult for me as a kid,who grew up here. And, I really

(06:37):
think back on that time where, Iwas really struggling with I was
really struggling to sort offigure myself out.
I think I had a lot of as oftenmany, you know, younger folks
do. This is not sort of a uniquestory. You know, but really I
think for me as someone who hadreally thrown themselves into

(06:57):
academia and academics sort ofas a a salve for my, limp wrist
and queerness and, you know,kind of had had gone away from
doing, you know, theater inmiddle school and in high
school, right, because I didn'twanna be kind of painted as a
kid. I I then had thisopportunity, this experience,
was invited to, audition for, anhonors chorus, in the school,

(07:19):
which is just a remarkableprogram. Of course, all the
young women, there'd be, like,200 auditioning, not 200, like,
a hundred young womenauditioning for this, like, very
select choir.
And there are so few boys that,like, I was recruited. Right?
Like, the choir teacher, who Istill know, is a dear friend
Allison Bevan. She's, she's the,director of the Outer Cape
Chorale now.

Eric Bomyea (07:38):
You know,

Julian Cyr (07:38):
she was like, hey. You have a resonant voice. Like,
can you sing? You know? And andso I really kinda fell into it
haphazardly.
And this was between mysophomore and junior year. And
the experience of being with, agroup of people, you know, there
was 14 or maybe 16 of us, youknow, strong musicians. Right?
But that collective experience,you know, there is something

(08:01):
actually quite, it's a quitequite powerful moment to make
music with other people,especially with your own, you
know, using your your yourvoices. And and, you know, that
experience for me more thananything else in, in high school
helped helped, I think, bring meback to myself, to, like, a a
younger version of myself.
I think really helped me havecommunity and and figure out who

(08:25):
I was, and helped me come out.Yeah. And so when, you know, the
prospect of that being justtaken away because of budget
cuts, I couldn't let thathappen. Right? Almost in, you
know, a bit of a a a a selfishresponse in in a way.
So, no, that was not a reallycalm time for me. And and I

(08:45):
think over many of the years,you know, I'm someone who, when
I'm anxious or when I'm in sortof a public space, I have a
tendency to be, you know, kindof performative. And I think
I've learned, you know, thecombination between, you know,
waiting on tables, which I didfor fourteen seasons, and, you

(09:06):
know, being an extrovertedperson at least, you know, kind
of in in in a public space,figuring out that I could be
funny, make people laugh, and besort of performative in that
way, I think, was was all themask in in in some respects for
my social anxiety. And I'vebeen, you know, working to
figure that out, over the years.Well, one

Timothy Bish (09:27):
of the things I feel like I'm hearing you say
with regards to the choir andthe initiative that you took on
in high school is this, I mean,you jokingly referred to it as
selfish because it was servingyou so deeply, but it actually
sounds like it was mutuallybeneficial, which is the highest
sort of relationship that we canattain, according to the yoga

(09:47):
practice. So, you know, itdidn't just benefit you, but it
benefited every other person whoalso needed that outlet, that
safe space, that practice ofexpression. You know, there's
obviously so many benefits tomusic and studying that and and
performing it and whatnot. So,thank you for doing that. I
also, as you know, havebenefited from, being in

(10:09):
theater.
I was a professional dancer and,studied singing and acting and
dance and all that. What wasinteresting to me was in some of
my studies, there are a lot ofbooks about trauma and the body.
And one of the books inparticular, at the end of the
book, they start talking aboutways in which we can start to
work with our trauma. And a lotof theater and the exercises

(10:31):
that are built into theater arealso very good for trauma. So
when I think about myself as ayoung queer person struggling to
come out, I am older than you,so it was a different time.
Just a

Julian Cyr (10:40):
little bit. Just a just a We we almost overlapped.

Timothy Bish (10:43):
Oh, yeah. That's right. That's right. But you I
realized, oh, a lot of thethings I was doing in dance and
choir and acting class andmusical and all that were
treating these things byallowing me to discharge them
from my nervous system and andexpress them in certain ways.
That doesn't mean that I stillwasn't riddled with anxiety
because I absolutely was.

(11:04):
But so if those programs hadgone away, I can only imagine
what my experience might havebeen. And so thank you for doing
it where you were doing it. Theworld needs more of it. And,
healing and the conversationaround healing in whatever form
we can get it, I think, is very,very important. So thank you for
bringing it.

Eric Bomyea (11:22):
Yeah. I also think that during that example that I
I heard, like, though there werea lot of things that were
happening in your life that thatwere anxiety inducing, it did
sound like there was an outletthere that helped to start to
ground you and connect you orreconnect you back to your
authenticity. Because I heardyou say, like, it helps you
reconnect to that young boy.Right? And that, like,
authenticity that was within youthat may have gotten squashed at

(11:45):
some point and, like, just,like, being able to, like, tap
into that.
So, to me, that starts to show,like, that connection, a tie
into your leadership and thesteadiness that you bring to
your leadership.

Julian Cyr (11:57):
Like, almost all of us have this experience in some
way or another where, you know,there's a masking of yourself
and there's a shame, and there'sa there's a fear about being
sort of, called out or seen. Youknow, we're all kind of we're
all the generation where, youknow, I really think was really
tough in a number of waysbecause, you know, there was

(12:20):
public consciousness of LGBTQpeople, right, when we were in
middle school and in highschool, you know, when in in a
way that kind of there wasn'tsort of before. Right? This is,
you know, kind of, like, don'task, don't tell, debates and,
you know, the advent ofmarriage. And and and so, you
know, this is a time where Ijust, you know, think bullying
and, you know, gay as a rememberwhen gay was a a slur?

(12:43):
Mhmm. Right? And, you know, I I,again, grew up in Troy, you
know, grew up in Troy. I went tothis, like, beautiful little
elementary school, where I couldnot have been more sort of,
affirmed, you know, this amazingsixth grade teacher, John Van
Cott, who, you know, I'm stillstill friends with. You know,
him and his his partner wouldcome into the school and do

(13:04):
theater classes, and he took usto New York.
And, I mean, it could not havebeen a more, more wonderful kind
of, special place. But, youknow, going just down the street
in the Orleans to middle schoolwas a very homophobic
experience. Right? And so youreally kind of wanted to get
away from the sort of telltalesigns or things that sort of,

(13:28):
you know, gave away, you know,who you may be, or even having
the experience or being toldyou're you you know, told you're
gay, told you're queer beforeyou even have a consciousness of
it. So, you know, I I reallythink that, you know, this is
part of how I think a lot of usbring our anxiety.
A lot of us bring just, youknow, our fears and and also

(13:50):
sort of the orientation of howwe, how we sort of move in the
world and interact with otherpeople. And and and, you know, I
certainly have been someone whohas relied on and once I sort of
figured out I could be a littlefunny, or once I figured out I
could be, you know, smart andwitty and performative. Right? I
really relied on that and have,you know, certainly certainly

(14:11):
probably done a bit bit too muchof it in my day. And and now as
a, you know, I guess someoneapproaching middle age, I guess
is is although, hey, inProvincetown, like, you know,
you're young.
Yeah. On Cape Cod, it's theoldest county in New England.
Like, you're young until you're55. That's great. I mean, I you
know, I got sixteen, seventeenyears.
No. I I I think that that thatthis this you know, those

(14:32):
experiences still kinda carrywith you even though you learn
you know, in in the I think inmy case, right, I've I've
learned to be able to have, youknow, what you folks perceive as
a pretty, like, calm, chillconversation. You know, and we
get and that's and that's partof, like, practice. Right? Just
got dance practice or sitting ontables or practice talking all
the time and giving speeches andlistening to people, which is

(14:53):
what we do, often in publicservice.
And then how do you you know?But still your older self is is
there, and you sometimes needsome outlets to to to figure
that out.

Eric Bomyea (15:04):
Awesome. And, like, these some of these things,
like, you're talking about,like, you know, comedy and other
such outlets, like, can help youmaintain your composure in a
situation that may start to geta little heated or maybe even a
little, like, threatening.Right? Like, it's a way to kind
of, like like, keep thetemperature down a little bit.

Julian Cyr (15:21):
Yes. So you can also rely on it too much. Right? So I
think there's a, you know, thethe the all of our sort of, you
know I tend to like to tellmyself or maybe my therapist
helps me tell myself, you know,that that many of the tools and
strategies that that, you know,I've used and we've all used,

(15:41):
you know, at other points in ourlife were really useful Mhmm. At
one point.
Right? And then, you know, yougotta ask sort of what's what's
their use now? Is it no longeruseful to me? And and how do you
how do you change some of thoseanxious habits, you know, when
they're no longer serving you?

Eric Bomyea (15:56):
They were there as a protection, right, to yourself
at one point. And, like,honoring that protector is one
of the greatest things that wecan do in our healing. I've had
to do it as I've I've journeyedout of my head and into my body.
Like, years of of trauma andtraumatic experiences kept me
disconnected from my body. Andso I lived here.
And so part of my work issaying, like, if there is a

(16:18):
gatekeeper that exists here thatprevents my consciousness from
actually going into my body and,because my body was not a safe
space. Like, it's not saying,hey, gatekeeper. You're you're,
like, your your job is done. Youneed to leave. It's thank you.
Thank you for doing that.

Timothy Bish (16:34):
So, Julian, you and I were talking, in the gym
about, our current moment.Right? And so right now in this
moment, there's a lot of stuffhappening for our LGBTQIA plus
community. And, so I think queerpeople of all kinds in all
places are facing a challenge ofhow to navigate this moment. And

(16:58):
you said something so beautifulto me about calm as a form of
resistance.
And then we started talking alittle bit about how embodiment
might be one, avenue towardscultivating that. So let's talk
a little bit about what we'regoing through now and how we can
empower queer people all over inall stages of life to navigate
what is likely gonna bechallenging and, at times,

(17:20):
probably a little uncomfortable.

Julian Cyr (17:22):
So I think this is a difficult time for a lot of
folks, you know, LGBTQ, and andand otherwise. Right? You know,
this is this is a really, youknow, trying, terrible moment,
in in this nation's history. Youknow, we're when we're recording
this podcast, this is a month,into the Trump presidency. And
what we have seen has been,overwhelming, has been a bevy

(17:45):
of, executive actions, many ofwhich, you know, I I think and
and a number of lawyers andothers would agree with me are
illegal or really pushing thebounds of the constitution.
But but at this moment and, youknow, this last month, right,
this is what I first try toremind myself is that this has
been designed this is apolitical strategy to overwhelm,

(18:09):
to distort, to unmoor peoplefrom, from themselves, from a
sense of, you know, safety, andand and and and and that's the
strategy. Steve Bannon uses thisterm called muzzle velocity.
Describe, what is effectively apolitical and media strategy

(18:31):
where you overwhelm and you'veseen this happen. Right? You you
overwhelm both our media and thepublic with just a litany of all
sorts of things.
Right? And that is designed tounmoor us from ourselves, to
distort, to make us feel,hopeless, despondent, you know,

(18:58):
wanting to, you know, throw thecut the the covers over your
head and stay in bed. Right?This is a very a very, specific
strategy, and I think thatreminding myself of that is is
is first been sort of most is ishow I start to sort of ground
myself.

Timothy Bish (19:16):
I'm really glad I'm really glad you brought that
up because I feel like there's alot of men now that are
experiencing the overwhelm. Andwhen they ask me about the
benefit of embodiment work andand why we do that, it is if we
do not have a relationship withour own body and our own
emotions, then oftentimes wewon't really notice them until
they are already overwhelming.Right? We come into an awareness

(19:37):
of this experience because it isso big that I can no longer
ignore it. And so one of thethings when I when I tell people
about these practices or, youknow, this process is to create
that awareness of your own selfso you can become aware of,
like, oh, I can see thatstarting.
I can see that frustration orthat sadness or that loneliness
or that fatigue or whatever thething might be. I can see it

(19:58):
beginning, and I can start totake conscious action in that
moment. And so that to me feelslike one path of navigating some
overwhelm, which I have actuallyused, to to minimize my media
intake, which I've been doingrecently because I realized, oh,
if I wake up every day and watchthis morning show that I like, I

(20:21):
feel overwhelmed because itfeels like everything is
crumbling. So I start makingsome choices about how I'm gonna
do that. So when we think aboutways to mitigate this overwhelm,
like, what other what othersuggestions do you have for
people who are trying to notfall victim to that strategy
that is clearly trying to dothat to them.

Julian Cyr (20:39):
So I I think first, noticing it. I think then
second, as you said, you know,how we consume information. I
mean, I I've had to sort ofchange that. Right? Look, I'm
someone who who consumes a lotof news and information.
That's part of my job, you know,quite literally to do that. And
I've had to be like, okay. Waita minute. You know what? Like,
toggling between, social mediaand The New York Times and

(21:01):
Politico before I'm going to bedis, like, not a calming
activity.
And and and I'll admit, I it itused to be kind of a calming
activity, at least the news kindof part. I I can still get away
with it with, like, the statenews. I can read, like, I can
read, like, State House news,which is all about, like,
Massachusetts and statepolitics. I can still read that
and it has sort of a calmingeffect for me. But, you know, so

(21:22):
I've had to sort of change andsay, alright.
I'm not gonna I'm not gonnaconsume this at night because
it's just gonna, I don't know,really really really screw with
some good, health you know,sleep hygiene. And I've also
realized too that, like, so muchof our social media is, you
know, just it has become so sortof, like, political, both in

(21:43):
things I wanna see and notwanting to see. So I think just
being a little strategic about,you know, when you sort of
consume or how you consume. Andthen I've also just been trying
to ground myself, in a bit ofhistory, in some reading, you
know, dusted off my copy of,Howard Zinn's People's History,
which is, you know, one of manygreat sort of resources around

(22:04):
how do we, you know, how do wethink about, you know, not only
the moment we're in, but, howthat relates to other points in
American history. You know, thisreally reminds me of in some
ways, in many ways, actually,where we were in the nineteen
teens and and early nineteentwenties, where we're coming out
of the last major, pandemic,Spanish influenza.

(22:28):
What happened to this country?There was a a nativist panic.
And, you know, the immigrationpolicies that had enabled
millions and millions andmillions of immigrants, mostly
European immigrants, but fromelsewhere. Many of whom are
families, you know, mineincluded, you know, came to this
country in that, you know, wavewhat you know, there was a major
backlash, a nativist backlash,you know, with very strict,

(22:51):
quota laws put into place in1921 and '23. So knowing that
history a bit is also kind ofgrounding in some way.
Right? Mhmm. That it doesn'tfeel they're like, okay. We've
been here before. This has beenawful.
Like, awful things havehappened. Awful things are
happening happening now. I havea good friend, a good friend of
all of ours, you know, who saysthat, you know, look. The

(23:14):
world's always been burning. Wejust didn't know it.
We have an unprecedented amountof access to information, how
we're consuming thatinformation. We have, you know,
these doubles of ourselves thatexist on social media. And so I
think I think holding fast tothat is is crucial. And then the
commas of resistance, this isnot my idea. This is actually

(23:37):
something I I I picked up and Iread, in a book by Naomi Klein,
who is a, real sort of critic ofneoliberalism and and sort of
this late stage capitalism thatwe've had over years.
She's a a journalist andthinker. She's written books
like No Logo, talking aboutmarketing and branding, shock

(23:59):
doctrine, kind of in the post09/11 era, right, how shocks are
used to, you know, for politicaland corporate benefit. But her
latest book is calledDoppelganger, and it's, it's a
fascinating piece about a wholehost of, really, actually, she
comes to the work because she'sconfused, on Twitter and online,

(24:19):
with another Naomi. So there'sNaomi Klein, and then there's
Naomi Wolf who who is a, afeminist thinker and journalist
who, in recent years, has reallykind of been enmeshed within the
Maca world. And, this sort ofalmost comical confusion online,
leads to this whole explorationshe has around bubbles.

(24:40):
And there's lots of differenttidbits in the book, but there's
this one moment where, she talksabout calm as a form of
resistance. Mhmm. And I so I I,I had this book with me. I I was
lucky enough to, be somewherewarm, in the second, in the last
week in January. And I was bythe pool, and I just started

(25:01):
reading this book that a afriend had given me a while ago.
And I started just devouring itbecause it felt like it there
was just so many parallels towhat's going on in our moment.
It was helping me understand,just so many things that I was
seeing and living and doing. Andthen this calm as a form of
resistance, I was like, woah. Itwas really cool. So do I mean, I
I brought the book to you.

Timothy Bish (25:21):
Do you

Julian Cyr (25:21):
wanna, like, read this so we can, you know

Timothy Bish (25:22):
Please do.

Julian Cyr (25:23):
But this is not my idea. This is this is me

Eric Bomyea (25:25):
I'll reading from a

Julian Cyr (25:27):
brilliant woman's idea. So calm as shock
resistance. Pattern recognition,by now, this is this is Naomi
Klein's Stop logo gamer. It's onit's it's on page two twenty
six. Pattern recognition isoften how I describe the work of
my life.
I remember the moment of trueclick when there was a
connection between theincreasing precarity of work,

(25:47):
the consolidation of ownershipin key industries, and the
exponential increases inmarketing budgets that
characterize the hollowcorporate structures of the
first lifestyle brand. I wroteshock doctrine in the hopes of
providing a similar feeling oforientation. These were the
years after September 11 hadscrambled political signals and
shaken the confidence of manyfriends and colleagues. I

(26:10):
pursued a story once again ofconnections, this time between
our post our moment of postterror shock and the way other
shocks have been used over thelast century to push policies
that stripped other nations andpeoples of rights rights,
privacies, and wealth held incommon. In the torrent of
disconnected facts that make upour feeds, the role of the

(26:31):
researcher analyst is playing totry to create some sense, some
ordering events, maps of power.
The most meaningful response inmy writing life came from the
loveliest of literary map makemakers, John Berger, when I sent
him the shock doctrine ingalleys. Many people have found
said they found the bookenraging, but his response was

(26:53):
different. He wrote that forhim, the book, quote, provokes
and instills a calm. When peopleand societies enter into a state
of shock, they lose theiridentities and their footing, he
observed. Quote, hence, calm isa form of resistance.
I think about those words often.Calm is not a replacement for

(27:15):
righteous rage or fury atinjustice, both of which are
powerful drivers for necessarychange. But calm is the
precondition for focus or thecapacity to prioritize. If shock
induced a loss of identity, thencalm is the condition under
which we return to ourselves.Berger helped me see that the

(27:36):
search for calm is why I write,attain the chaos in my
surroundings, my own mind, and Ihope the mind of my readers.
The information is almost alwaysdistressing and to many
shocking. But in my view, thegoal is never to put readers
into a state of shock. It shouldpull them out of it.

Timothy Bish (27:55):
Thank you for that.

Julian Cyr (27:57):
Not cool. It's really I was just like, what and
it's this little tiny, like Imean, it's just on, like, two
little pages. It's this littlenugget. It's you know, the
book's about so many otherthings. I love that.
Yeah. Just think about

Timothy Bish (28:07):
this as, like, if if calm is a form of resistance,
and I I can see that, then howmight we utilize that in this
moment? And when I think aboutthe work that we're doing in
embodiment practice, one of theways that we do that is we start
to understand our edges. Westart to understand our
boundaries, our capacities. Westart to have a clearer idea of

(28:28):
what I can hold and what I can'thold and what starts to happen
when I'm asked to hold more thanI'm capable. Right?
And so I think with continuedpractice, and you can tell me if
you agree, we can start tobecome more and more calm when
you're like, oh, I've alreadyheld this much before. I know
what this is gonna feel like asopposed to, well, I've never
explored this. And so at anymoment, it could become

(28:50):
completely overwhelming. And sowe do that in embodiment
practice. And, you know, you'vebeen to the circle many times.
We do this with movement andwith breath and with
visualization and attention andintention, so many tools that we
use. But I'm curious now, howelse might we if you were gonna
recommend, how else might mightwe practice really conscious

(29:10):
calmness? Calmness that isn'tapathetic, but rather is
grounded and present, therefore,is the is the the starting block
for powerful, impactful action.

Julian Cyr (29:23):
I would refer to you too on on on on the actual
calmness strategies. Right? Butbut that calm being a
precondition for focus, right,and that calm being the way that
we return to ourselves. And andI think some of you know, a lot
of the work that I think you do,and many, many others, right, is
is how do you how do you get tothat sense of calm, right, when
you're not,

Eric Bomyea (29:45):
When the world is coming at you Yeah. From all
sorts of directions.

Julian Cyr (29:49):
And you're not a seasoned research analyst who's
like, you know, alright. I'mgonna analyze this in this way.
Right? How do you come back tothat?

Eric Bomyea (29:54):
Right. If you turn on the news and it's all about
urgency and reactivity and justintensity, like, it's very easy
to get swept up into that and tothen start to get into that
shocked mentality. And sothinking about calmness as a way
to be resistant is reallyfascinating where if like the if
the intention of all this, thisshock and urgency and velocity

(30:16):
of of information is to,immobilize people, is to create
such an overwhelm, then theresistance to that is saying,
sorry. It's not gonna it's notgonna impact me. I'm calm.
I'm calm right now. So thatstrategy isn't gonna work on me
today. Right? You tried, but nottoday.

Julian Cyr (30:37):
Yeah. I mean, I I I think in many respects, what
what they're doing, to be clear,is gonna very much impact you
and me and and and all of us.Right? But that that the, that
that that calmness is a way toactually see and name what's
going on and to kind of get ourand and to understand that the

(30:57):
feeling of panic that we haveall felt in the last month

Timothy Bish (31:04):
Mhmm.

Julian Cyr (31:05):
And that scores of people have felt and many people
who are much more vulnerable,than than the three of us. That
is by design. Mhmm. And thenyou've gotta figure out,
alright, how how then how how doI get to that place of calm?
Right?
And and and and client you know,I I mean, client says very
clearly. Right? This is thisisn't about, moving away from

(31:29):
the shock or ignoring it or orsort of, you know you know,
being in this Zen ed out worldwhere, you're not grounded with
what's going on in in the restof the world.

Eric Bomyea (31:39):
Recognizing it and naming it just like Tim was
mentioning with meeting ouredges. Right? It's like it's
starting to understand and buildthat relationship with that
reaction.

Timothy Bish (31:49):
Well, Well, I think we need to remember when
we're talking about calm, thatwe're not suggesting that this
is like a choice that you canjust make. It's a it's not a
light switch that you can walkover and be like, I choose
calmness flip. Because when weare when we are reacting to
these things, whether we'relooking at media, social media,
like, you know, whatever'shappening, there is an impact in

(32:12):
our nervous system and in ourendocrine system. And we have to
recognize, okay. I can beimpacted by a thing that I've
seen, heard, or or think I'veunderstood, and now my endocrine
system is putting into mybloodstream different hormones
and biomarkers that are going toimpact me.
So later when I walk around andI feel really agitated, it isn't

(32:34):
a lack of mental disciplinesometimes. It's a physiological
response to a perceived threat.So we have to give ourselves,
oh, you might be really workedup. You might hear a story about
an executive order or, you know,a congressional whatever and
have that feeling, now what? Andso this is why so many of these

(32:56):
embodiment practices and yogapractices and, you know, why do
you feel better when you go dothe gym and do a workout?
Because we get to metabolizethat part of it. So, I think
that's an important part of thisidea. You can't just decide to
be calm. You can decide to takeaction in pursuit of calmness
depending on where you're at.And so that's why having tools

(33:18):
to do that, I think, are reallyimportant.
Can you breathe? Can you call afriend? Can you feel your feet
on the ground? Can you closeyour eyes? Can you go into the
bathroom?
Can you, like well, can you takecan you splash cold water on
your face? Any number of thingsthat are gonna start to create a
change that is not gonnanecessarily be instant. And we
and the more I think we areaware that it isn't an instant
fix, the more we can thenconsciously engage with whatever

(33:40):
is happening in that moment.

Julian Cyr (33:42):
Yeah. And and how does that, that that ability to
come back to a sense of calm,right, which I think has a bit
of a, you know, it's a practiceor like a muscle memory or or
and part of that's the work ofthe circle, and part of that is
is a number of other things thatpeople do. Right? That that the
ability to learning how you'reable to do that is how you come

(34:02):
back to yourself. Right?
That the shock, that the angsttakes you out of yourself and
and unmoors you, which is theirpoint politically in addition to
being, like, you know, apainful, not great place to be,
and probably not too healthyeither. Right? But I I I always
tend to think of, alright. Whatare the what what's, like, the

(34:25):
muscle memory or the thepractices that I can come back
to? And, admittedly, I'm I'm,you know, this this this occurs
for me sort of in fits andstarts.
Right? What's your practice thatyou're able to not become
unmoored from yourself? Mhmm.Because, you know, over these

(34:46):
last four weeks and over thenext four years, that is their
strategy and that is theirpoint.

Timothy Bish (34:51):
Well, because we're we're so easily
manipulated when we're in thatplace. Right? I'm really afraid.
I just heard a story. I'm nowI'm now feeling a threat that
may be months away, years away,but but I'm feeling it now.
And so I need to have some toolsthat are gonna help bring me
back in this moment. Turn thevolume down on that just enough

(35:12):
so that I can start to make moreconscious choices. Because I
think really their power is, canI get people to start making
some choices, some reactions infrom that state? And from that
state, I might panic. I might,like, look for safety in in
groups.
I might, you know, buy somesupplements or whatever the
thing is. Like, we're we'reeasily manipulated and
controlled in that state.

Julian Cyr (35:33):
Yeah. Would you say pizza? Supplements. It's some
solution. I love what you saidabout turning down the volume
because that's really been myexperience with, anxiety.
That's been my experience withbody dysmorphia. That's been my
experience in a number ofthings. Right? Is that when you
have a bit of a practice oryou've done, you know, whether
it's therapeutic work or or ormore physical embodiment work,

(35:56):
you know, being able to turndown the volume, the anxiety the
anxiety doesn't isn't vanished.Mhmm.
Totally. But the volume getsturned down to the point where,
like, it's really in thebackground and it's not getting
in the way. You know, my bodydysmorphia isn't banished, but
I've been able to turn down thevolume pretty pretty heavily.
And and there's a way it's like,alright. It's just like in the

(36:16):
it's just in the background ofBoy Beach.
Like, I'm cool in the Speedo.And and I I love I love that as
a framework. Yeah. I love thatyou said that.

Timothy Bish (36:22):
Well, when I thank you. When I when I was working
with cancer patients and theywere going through their
treatments and and and not evenjust cancer patients, other
other patients at my acupuncturepractice, I would tell people,
especially when they had chronicpain, these practices are not a
magic wand. They don't theydon't just take it entirely
away, but they do this turningdown the volume. Right? And then

(36:44):
one of the things I would say ispractice it every time you need
it.
So, typically, when I'm veryanxious or when I'm having a lot
of pain, but also practice it inmoments when you don't, when
you're already feeling good tostrengthen that. So so can we
start to practice calmness whenwe don't when we're not in the
fit of that news headline thatjust you know? So that when the

(37:06):
news headline does come, well,I've already practiced this. So
this isn't the first time or thesecond time. I'm starting to
create this neural pathwaytowards a grounded presence, and
then I can start to rely on itmore and more and more.
So one takeaway, I would say, inthe the application and practice
of calmness in our lives, Don'twait until you're in a
hysterical fit Mhmm. To do it.Now if you find yourself in that

(37:28):
place, try some stuff. Breathe.Feel your feet.
Look around the room. What doyou see? What do you hear? What
do you feel like? Any of thosethings are gonna help.
Then also do that when you'renot in that place to strengthen
it and strengthen it. And onefinal thing I would say is,
journaling. If you haven't youknow, if you're a man listening
to this podcast and you're notjournaling, journal. And
sometimes that journal can beit's a safe space. No one reads

(37:50):
it but you.
Three pages of just, fuck. Like,you know, like, oh, like, get it
out. Get it out of your head andthen be like every time I'm done
journaling so I journal threepages every morning, stream of
consciousness, so, like, themorning pages from, The Artist's
Way. And then I do a a gratitudelist and some other things. And
every time I'm done with that, Ialways feel more grounded.

(38:11):
Mhmm. It does not mean that Idon't have problems in my life
or I don't have concerns. Idon't have worry. I still do the
have those things. I Iabsolutely have those things.
But it turns the volume downenough to be like, okay. Now
what how do I wanna be aroundthat? What do I wanna do with
that? So those are somesuggestions. Journal, breathe,
feel your body, move, laugh.

Eric Bomyea (38:34):
And there's a and, I heard you guys talking.
There's, being onboard fromyourself. Right? So, like, if
something comes along, that newsheadline or that relationship
thing comes up and it can, like,onboard, you can take you away.
We've talked a little bit about,like, how do you, like, bring
yourself back to yourself?
And then, Tim, you were justtalking about, like, practices
that that can help keep us,like, from becoming onboard,

(38:58):
right, or, like, groundingourselves a little bit more,
deepening our roots so that whenthose big breezes come by, we
don't break. We sway with it andwe are able to, like, work with
it a little bit, but we don'tget fully onboard. Eventually,
though, sometimes we do getonboard, and then we also have
practices that can bring usback.

Timothy Bish (39:17):
And part of the practice, that you both have
probably experienced in thecircle is getting being pushed
beyond your your edge, yourlimit, and feeling that moment
of, like, I feel overwhelmed.This is more than I can handle.
But when you are familiar withthat, like, oh, I've been pushed
beyond my edge. I know what thatfeels like. Then it's less
panicky to come back into whatyou can control.

(39:39):
But when you've never done that,you're like, I'm just been
pushed into uncharteredterritory. It can be a complete
freak out. So just even becomingaware of, like, I've I've had
this discomfort before, and Iknow what to do. I know how it
looks. I know how it feels.

Eric Bomyea (39:52):
Yeah.

Timothy Bish (39:52):
It's a very empowering thing.

Julian Cyr (39:54):
I'm laughing because I've I've had that experience
when I've been to the embodimentcircle.

Timothy Bish (39:57):
Oh, you have?

Julian Cyr (39:58):
Do you wanna do

Timothy Bish (39:59):
you wanna

Julian Cyr (39:59):
share with us? I don't remember the you know, but
you're just I don't know. You'reyou're you're, You

Timothy Bish (40:02):
were having a terrific time.

Julian Cyr (40:03):
I was on a good break. No. You know, you have
that moment where you're like,why did I come here? I hate
this. This is really painful.
If I have to do, like, you know,whatever. They want me to do,
like, 10 more of these things,and you're just, like and then
and then, you know, thephysiology, I think, takes over.
Right? And the endorphins takeover and all that. And and and
also I think there's I'msomeone, like, who who often,

(40:23):
especially in a physical sense,will tell myself that I can't do
it.
You know? Mhmm. And so, really,that's, you know, part of my,
like, older self kind of, youknow, in addition to, like, my,
like, muscles or breathscreaming, you know, there's
that that voice voice in yourhead too. I also think the
unmore the, you know, mooringourselves and being unmoored,
you know, what a fittingmetaphor that we're here in

(40:44):
Provincetown. Right?
We have we've got a score ofmoorings, right, in our harbor
for for non coastal listeners.Right? A mooring is is is where
you attach a boat to when it's,you know, at rest. And, you
know, it's really meant to tohelp you ride out waves and and
some minor storms. Sometimes thestorms get really bad and you
gotta actually, like, pull theboat out of the harbor because
we got a hurricane.

Eric Bomyea (41:05):
Sometimes the storms get really bad and the
chain breaks. Yeah. Right? Andthen is the motor powerful
enough to get you oar? Is theoar strong enough or the rower
strong enough to get it back tothat more?

Julian Cyr (41:16):
Yeah. I mean, in in a real Provincetown storm,
probably not. Like, youshouldn't be on the water.

Eric Bomyea (41:21):
Probably so. And a

Julian Cyr (41:21):
rooster pull the boat out. Like, let's you know?

Eric Bomyea (41:24):
Which also is another strategy. Yeah. Like,
sometimes you just have to pullthe

Julian Cyr (41:27):
boat out. You gotta pull that boat. You gotta call
flyers, get the boat out of thewater.

Timothy Bish (41:30):
But that, that's a great example of, having an
awareness of what yourlimitations are. So we talk
about, like, these capacities orthe edges that knowing, like so
in this town, oh, this level ofstorm is coming, and we are
empowered when we know it's toomuch. The boats have to come in.
That is a conscious, powerfulchoice that we can make so that

(41:50):
we avoid this other thing later.

Eric Bomyea (41:52):
Right. Sometimes it's you have to turn off the
television. You have to muteyour phone. You have to do
whatever it is that is bringingyour your ship to to land for a
little bit so that you don't getuntethered.

Julian Cyr (42:01):
And the tricky part now is we just have really bad
forecasting when it comes tothis current administration,
right, who who, you know, Ithought

Timothy Bish (42:08):
you were about to make a weather joke.

Julian Cyr (42:10):
So okay. No. You're joking. Well, that's true. To
make a weather.
No. Let me know. You know. Butbut with this administration,
right, you you you know, you cannever tell, like, what tsunami
or hurricane or nor'easter or,you know, you know, forecast of
six inches of snow that turnsinto be a dusting. Right?
And and and and again but that'sthe their point. That's, like,

(42:30):
their strategy to unmoor us, toto have us, you know, go away
from ourselves, to essentiallyfeel just totally overwhelmed
and defeated.

Timothy Bish (42:40):
Well, and the the the the art of distraction. You
know, like, I'm gonna I'm gonnasay this big sort of flashy
thing over here, and you're allgonna pay attention to it. And
then this other thing can behappening over here. And it
feels like one of the thingswe're kind of talking about
today is this, returning toourselves, as you mentioned
earlier, and this groundedpresence because it feels there

(43:01):
have been moments, where I feellike, oh, the only way I can
have a real impact in the worldis if I were to become a senator
and, like, cast a deciding vote.And that can feel really,
disempowering and overwhelmingbecause you're like, well, I'm
probably not gonna be that.
And, you know, and then yourealize, but what if I show up
in a grounded present way in mycommunity and try to make

(43:23):
change, I can still have animpact. It isn't it isn't
kicking Donald Trump out of theWhite House, but it's still
something. And then if we allwere able to tap into that, how
powerful might we be? And, Imean, you must have had that
experience a little bit. Right?

Julian Cyr (43:41):
First of all, I'm I'm a state senator. State if
anyone's seen, The Office,right, there's a there's a great
joke that I love, right, whensomeone's going on. You need

Timothy Bish (43:49):
a date with

Julian Cyr (43:51):
a state senator. I have a date with the senator
tonight. And it's like, statesenator. I am not Elizabeth
Warren's colleague. But, no.
I mean, I I I in my experienceand and I represent you know,
I've had the fortune of gettingto know so many of these people
in this work, right, and gettingto represent 19 communities
across, you know, The Cape andThe Islands and getting to work

(44:12):
with scores of people inMassachusetts and the whole
network of, people you meet, youknow, nationally in this work
too. Some of those, like,consequential movers and shakers
that you encounter in acommunity, they ain't the
electeds. They're not thepoliticians. You know? And we
certainly have our role in in inplace and an important
leadership role.
But, you know, I I I reallythink it's important to, you

(44:37):
know, remind, you know,ourselves that, engagement, that
stepping out in your communityto instigate change, however
that looks like, is reallyimportant. And and if we just if
we just allow ourselves to beoverwhelmed by this moment and
say, you know, alright. Youknow, the world's a pretty did I
say fucked up? Mhmm. You

Timothy Bish (44:56):
can say that. I can

Julian Cyr (44:57):
say that in the bucket. Yeah. You know, look,
the world's like a pretty fuckedup place, and, like, I just
wanna, like, you know, turn myback to the world as as Thoreau
said you can do here on CapeCod. Right? Well, we're not you
know, that's that's not gonna begood for you, and that's gonna
be good for all of us.
Right? We we need we need tostay engaged. And we gotta

(45:17):
figure out how how that is, andwe gotta figure out how to do it
in a way that, you know, we wewe don't become unmoored for
ourselves, that we can, youknow, we conform ourselves, that
we can stay have some sense ofsort of our calm through that.
Yeah. But figuring out, like,where that is and what that is,
and part of the magic, Iactually think, of of these
smaller communities.
Right? Is you're in a placewhere people, you know, where

(45:38):
you know your neighbors, where,like, we in we we, you know, we
are in it together. But figuringthat out, I think, is, like,
really crucial, and it's a real,I think, mistake, and and and
will be a real lost opportunity,if people feel like, well, you
know, I'm not not a senator or astate senator. Yeah. You know, I
what can I do?
You know? Yeah.

Timothy Bish (45:57):
I mean, because there are definitely times where
I would I would be sitting in myliving room, like, very
overwhelmed and, like, angry atMitch McConnell. And, and then
you think like, well, that isn'tthat isn't really helping
anything. I I one thing I wouldsay, we talk about this a lot in
the men's workspace is, youknow, bringing our own magic,
trying to find our own magic andbring our own magic. So it does
feel to me, and I'd love to hearyour thoughts on this, this idea

(46:19):
of, you know, we don'tnecessarily have to make the
change. It doesn't have to bepolitical.
It doesn't you don't have to ifyou want to run for local office
or or try to, you know, passlegislation, but you can do
something else too. You can doany number of things, and I
suspect that it's always gonnabe more powerful if you feel
connected to it through yourheart, you know, which is why
I'm clearly passionate abouthealth and wellness. I'm

(46:40):
passionate about men's work andmen's embodiment and and our
queer community, and so that'sthe stuff I'm doing. But I think
if each of us really dives intothe things that we care deeply
about and want to bring to theworld, that feels like some of
the deepest, most authenticpower we can tap into. What what
do you think about that?

Julian Cyr (46:58):
Yeah. Like, a %. Right? And that, I I often see
this with with people who areyounger folks who are kind of,
like, interested in politics.Right?
There's a certain person whokinda really, you know, wants to
be in the game and wants to bein the arena and such. And and
that there's this folks willoften look for opportunities

(47:20):
where, you know, it might be themost, like, prestigious
opportunity. And I've reallyfound even my own experience,
actually, like well, the workthat has been most valuable to
me professionally and, like, formyself, for my soul, for my
purpose in this world, has beenthe work that I've been, like,

(47:42):
connected to and has also beenworking with really good people.
Right? Has been in incollaboration with others.
Right? Anytime I've beeninvolved in in instigating
change, you know, from from ahigh school budget to, you you
know, important laws that wepassed in Massachusetts, you
know, shield you know, theshield law, right, protecting
access to gender affirming careand abortion care, you know,

(48:05):
saying that those health careservices are a right protecting
the constitution. Right? Thatwas done That wasn't just me.
That was something like a teamof people.
Right? That was, like, biggerthan you. And so, you know, I I
I think that, it's easy to getreally wrapped up in, thinking
we can sort of, it's all on me.I have to sort of control this,

(48:26):
and and not really and and or,like, or, like, I need to do the
most, like, prestigious thing Ican. You know, I was someone
who, you know, was fortunateenough to to have a White House
internship, and it lookedphenomenal on my resume.
But I will tell you, I learnedso much more than I skills that
I use on a daily basis, waitingon tables. When I took sort of

(48:51):
the job at the Department ofPublic Health in Massachusetts
around a topic I was, like,passionate about and wanted to
work on and working with, youknow, some brilliant people I
want to work with, you know,that wasn't as sort of sexy as
Shoe is getting, you know, astaffer position in the
governor's office, you know,which I probably could have
lobbied for at the time. Butthat more you know, that that
position where I was grounded inthe work, I was connected to it.

(49:12):
I was working with people who I,admired and emulated and wanted,
you know, wanted to learn from.That was, like, so much more
valuable, and helpful both froma career perspective and and
just a life perspective.
And I think I think we forgetthat. And it's easy to forget
that in a world where thingsfeel so tenuous, where there's

(49:35):
such, like, there's rabidcompetition for everything. And,
you know, I just try to remindmyself of that, you know, even
now in the position I have.Beautiful.

Timothy Bish (49:47):
Thank you for sharing that.

Eric Bomyea (49:49):
Yeah. There's there's definitely something
about, like, when we do thingsin service of others or with the
intention of, like, impressingothers. For example, I'm just
gonna use your your White Houseexample. Right? Like, you know,
it does look impressive onpaper, but like you just said,
it's not something that you gainthe most value from.
Right? The most valuable thingsare sometimes the not the most

(50:09):
sexiest things. Right? But ifyou're deeply connected to them,
the value that they have istremendous. And I've I've hired
many people in in my corporatejobs.
And I can see I can look at tworesumes and I can say, like, oh
my gosh. This person came fromGoogle. This person came from
Microsoft. Like, they must beamazing. But then you meet them
in the interview and you'relike, oh, like, you're you're

(50:32):
just, like, throwing this in myface as a way to kind of, like,
try to impress me, but there'snot a lot of, like, connection
there.
You're not actually, like,trying to connect. Interview
doesn't really go anywhereversus, like, some of the best
interviews I've had and some ofthe best people that I've hired
have been, like, hater waiterswho have learned graphic design
or copywriting skills on theside and then have come in
through that way.

Julian Cyr (50:52):
Yeah. Honey, you can bartend. You can wait on tables,
especially here in August. Yeah.Yeah.
You can do anything. Also, to beclear, this is the Obama
administration, to be clear.Listen, there's a lot of snow.
And it was, you know, it it wasa fascinating and and and
amazing, you know, sort ofopportunity. But I I found the
exact same thing, with peoplewho now work on my team, And and

(51:14):
I think we just need a littlemore of that.

Eric Bomyea (51:15):
Yeah. Do things for yourself that bring you that
spark, that bring you thatfulfillment. And in doing so,
you'll learn you'll develop moreof that self groundedness, that
bringing yourself back toyourself that helps you to
weather the storm. And, youknow, also it's about having,
like, rewarding, fulfillingwork. And this this is sort of
turned into, like, a a careercoaching thing,

Julian Cyr (51:37):
but, you know what I mean? Like, I I think having,
like, you know, havingrewarding, fulfilling purpose,
in your life. Right? And thatcan be through a practice. That
can be certainly through, youknow, like, our friendships and
our relationships with people inour lives.
That can be service in ourcommunity. You know, that can be
in your job as well. Findingthat, I think, is a real I I

(51:58):
feel it's a real gift to have,you know, to have this job that
I have. And, like, look, there'sthere are some headaches and
there's some challenges. It'snot not easy, every day, but
there's a tremendous, I have atremendous amount of gratitude
for, the purpose that I get tohave, the people that I get to
work with, and that, you know,I'm reminded, you know, almost

(52:21):
every day in this job, right,and how essential the the people
part of it is, and how, youknow, the longer I've been doing
this, the more stuff you wannaget done, not about you.
Mhmm. You know, it's about noone gets anything done on their
own. And, actually, the morepowerful you get and the more,
like, ability you have to getthings done, the more actually

(52:42):
dependent you become on someother people to get things done.
Yeah. Because they figure outwhat you want, and then they
want the exchange.
Obviously, these themes are notbeing even considered, at the
national level in our politics,but I think we we need a lot
more of this in our politics,right, of this, one
acknowledgment, I think, thatpeople are pissed, that people
feel really disenfranchised,that people feel that the, you

(53:02):
know, the system the game'srigged. And I think I think
they're right in feeling thatway. Mhmm. I think, though,
that, you know, we've gotta do abetter job sort of pointing out,
you know, what's sort of goingon here. Right?
And it's not, you know, it isnot, you know, a d n DEI
initiative or, you know, asLaverne Cox said, right, trans

(53:23):
folks that are, you know,raising the price of eggs or
taking your jobs. Right? I mean,this is this is really, you
know, we've seen a a anunprecedented accumulation of
wealth, you know, occurring atthe very top of our society,
making it harder and harder, forso many of us to get by. Right?
And I think we've gotta focus onhow do we have those
conversations with people.
Yeah. You know, how do we bothacknowledge, right, that things

(53:44):
aren't working, and also getkinda really, you know, Well,
you

Timothy Bish (53:48):
you did mention something that I wanna bring up.
You were you were talking just asecond ago about, the value of
purpose. And I do believe thathaving purpose is, an ingredient
in the formula towards thiscalmness that we can then use as
a form of resistance. And inmen's workspaces, it is said
that, I think David Data was theone who wrote it about purpose

(54:09):
being the most important thingin a man's life, and and a full
commitment to that purposebenefits him and everyone in his
life and with whom he shares it.And I do think that's right.
When you start to think about,well, what am I here to do? What
do I really care about? What doI wanna create or birth into
existence in this lifetime? Andif I know I want to bring health
and wellness, I'm speaking formyself now, health and wellness

(54:31):
and, you know, an embodiedexperience in in these sorts of
things, then I feel more capableof weathering these things in my
in my external environmentbecause I'm still committed to
this. So the pursuit of purpose,I think, is a huge, ingredient
in calm, conscious action.

(54:54):
And I feel like that's what Iheard you saying. And then we
talked, if you're unclear, well,how do I know what my purpose
is? We just talked about this onone of our episodes recently.
One way that you can start toidentify your purpose and your
passion in this life is to startto become aware of your
experience of joy. So what doesjoy feel like in your body?
How do how do you experience it?And then just like the bread

(55:17):
crumbs and I think it's Hanseland Gretel. Right? The more
you're aware of joy, the moreyou can notice the bread crumbs.
If you're on a path with a lotof bread crumbs, keep walking.
It is telling you something. Ifyou're on a path with very few
or no bread crumbs so if you'relistening now and you're like,
well, yeah, I wanna be calm as aform of resistance, and I'm
gonna do that by pursuit of mypurpose, but I don't know what
my purpose is. Pay attention toyour joy. Start to look for your

(55:41):
joy. And if you don't know howto do that, just start by what
does it feel like to be joyful.
That's where I would that'swhere I would start.

Eric Bomyea (55:49):
One of the reoccurring themes that I've
heard in this episode is comingback to self between Julian, you
rediscovering music in your highschool and that really leading
you down a path of tapping intoyour public service. Right?
There was an opportunity therethat through reconnecting with

(56:11):
yourself ignited something inyou that has now directed you
down your path. Right? And, Tim,you were just talking about
these breadcrumbs of of findingthat joy and, like, bringing in
that authentic expression as away to really, like, root
ourselves in our our presentgroundedness.
And so I think that this hasbeen a really engaging episode

(56:32):
to, like, explore this topic as,like, calmness isn't a passive
act. It's actually a very activething that we work on, and it's
not about being subdued. It'sabout being, you know, ourselves
and and sure in ourselves.

Julian Cyr (56:47):
So and then when you have that, you when you
understand what brings you joyand gives you purpose and
understand what your purpose isand ties that to identity, you
can then you know, calmnessenables you to come back to that
purpose, that identity, right,and to know yourself. Mhmm. I
think that's a real key, youknow, key lesson and the thing

(57:07):
that I haven't really thinkingabout in these last kind of very
difficult four weeks and andwhat we know is gonna be, a
really challenging period forsome time to come. So thank you
so much for having me.

Timothy Bish (57:19):
Thank you for coming.

Julian Cyr (57:20):
It's been really cool to see, this project launch
and all you all have beenputting into it, and just thank
you for being just vibrant,wonderful, joyful people, in our
community here in Provincetownand in my life.

Eric Bomyea (57:32):
Thank you very much, and it's been a very,
pleasurable experience to haveyou here as well. Tim, Julian,
do you feel complete?

Julian Cyr (57:40):
I'm complete.

Timothy Bish (57:41):
I feel complete. Alright. Will you take us out,
please? I will. Let's, close oureyes and just connect to our
breath.
And it is with deep appreciationand gratitude for the shared
space, the sacred circle, thisconversation, and all the
insights and understandings thatmay have come that we now
release the four masculinearchetypes and the spirits that

(58:03):
we called in. And as we leavethe circle, I wish everyone
safety, community, love. Andwith these words, our container
is open, but not broken. Uh-huh.Uh-huh.