September 12, 2022 • 23 mins
Join learning and communication specialist Dr Diane Ravenscroft as she introduces tenets of the Coach Approach, a mindset and skill set she has developed through decades working with business leaders and professionals. In this episode, learn about the vulnerability commitment and the Declaration of Interdependence.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:06):
You're listening to the coach approachwith Diane Ravenscroft, whether
you're an entrepreneur, an ambitiousemployee or someone interested
in getting the most out of everyconnection, responsive communication is.
Join management andlearning specialist, Dr.
Diane Ravenscroft, as she givesyou the tools to improve any
(00:27):
relationship that matters to yourbusiness, your career and your life.
All right.
Here's Diane.
I am Diane Ravenscroft and you arelistening to the coach approach podcast.
The coach approach is a mindset and askillset with steps to achieve, avoid, and
celebrate along the way towards responsiveleadership and improved relationships.
(00:51):
Today, I will share about myvulnerability commitment, declaration
of inter dependence and othersnapshots of trademark programs.
As we explore some coach approachskills time for a story stories, have
a title, and I will call this story.
Contrasting mindsets.
(01:13):
The story takes place in a smallconference room in a local hotel.
This story of contrasting mindsetsis one of my favorite encounters
with smart, dedicated people,expressing their individuality, amid
changing roles and restructuring.
I was invited to facilitate an importantmeeting with a group of financial
(01:35):
services leaders who are being askedto collaborate more fully with their
business development team leaders.
The lenders were seeking to growtheir market share by introducing new
products, I will call them bankers.
The bankers invited thebusiness development leaders.
I will call them salespeople who you guessed.
(01:55):
It were eagerly discussing whatwas possible, attainable, exciting
and aspirational while the bankerswere making sure to prepare for the
worst while planning for the bestdue diligence above all admirable.
The banker's enthusiasm was directedmore towards caution in a reserved
(02:17):
manner, which at times perplexed.
And for some demotivated after anhour of brainstorming, many of the
bankers sounded pretty negative andpessimistic to the sales people.
Sorry, bankers, regrettably.
Many of the sales people sounded toxicallypositive and unrealistic to the bankers.
(02:39):
Sorry, salespeople.
This feedback to each group member waspart of the vulnerability commitment.
Agreed upon prior to the meeting inhigh stake, potentially high risk
and even high conflict meetings.
I asked for a vulnerabilitycommitment from everyone.
(02:59):
I meet alone with each team memberprior to the retreat or group
meeting and ask about the culture.
What I'm hoping to learn is that peopletrust one another for the most part.
And so are willing to commit to honestand open dialogue, to deal with any
uncertainties with people or with process.
(03:21):
The vulnerability commitment is animportant part of the declaration
of interdependence that ends themeeting and becomes a personalized
mission of the new team.
The declaration of independenceis very familiar to Americans.
And so a declaration of interdependenceis an acknowledge that each
(03:43):
person needs the other and adecision made by one may impact.
It's basically a governance agreement forattitude, behavior and conduct a, B, C.
I have helped write numerous declarationsof interdependence with many teams,
(04:04):
and each is as unique as the peoplewho have worked on them together.
The vulnerability commitmentalso helps with how people
hear themselves and others.
People come to the meeting, readyto listen to their coworkers with a
willingness to be open to potential.
If before they limited or marginalize thepotential of a coworker by prejudging,
(04:28):
assuming, or having low expectations,the vulnerability commitment opens the
door to new ways of hearing each other.
Eventually this practice manifestsin transformational communi.
It takes practice.
It takes effort, but it's worth it.
The vulnerability commitment anddeclaration of interdependence are
(04:50):
part of the coach approach skillset.
And your first challenge,should you choose to accept?
How willing are you to bevulnerable with your coworkers?
How interdependent do youfeel as a team, a member.
Applying the coach approach helpspeople hear themselves in a new way
(05:10):
to become attuned to not only howwe think we sound to ourselves, but
how we may sound to someone else.
Someone who may not have the samemindset or wiring hearing ourselves
is a little bit like holding up thefigurative mirror or put another
way, taking an audio selfie.
(05:31):
How we sound to someone elsecan also get to perception.
I cannot control how people perceiveme, but I have a lot of control over
how I present myself, listening tomyself as a starting point, helps me
evaluate the tone of my voice, my wordchoice as relatable and hopefully warm.
(05:52):
And if I'm really self-aware and youare evaluate our motive, our intent.
If any of you out there know Robbyburns a Scottish poet, he has a poem
about seeing yourselves as others.
See you.
It's the same idea, except it's reallyfocused on our words, hearing ourself.
(06:13):
The reason this is important isbecause there's another skill I will
describe in a future podcast, hearingyourself and stopping yourself.
But for now, let's get back tothe vulnerability commitment.
To fulfill the vulnerability commitment.
Everyone must come with goodintentions and be ready to collaborate.
The customer needs are centralto the outcomes while each person
(06:37):
contributes their vision for howto work together in a new team.
Listening to ourselvescan be transformational.
It adds to our self knowledge becauseit produces awareness of our thinking
and possibly our predispositions,our, our knee jerk reactions.
What's automatic in our thinking.
Believe it or not, I'm fairlypredisposed to being cautious
(07:01):
and sometimes I'm a naysayer.
I can even be critical.
So as I describe some of mycharacteristics, please think of yourself
or someone you work with or work for.
So you can become attunedto your preferences.
When I said I was critical.
Did you think I'm not critical?
I can't stand critical people or didyou think yes, I can be pretty critical
(07:22):
myself or cautious or even a naysay.
I wanna be optimistic, but my wiring,my mindset, sometimes even my outlook
often defaults to what could go wrong.
I tend to also be a little hypervigilant.
My favorite new word, a client taught me.
My client said, and I'lltalk more about this.
(07:43):
That being hypervigilant is sort oflike ducking you're in a boxing room.
You're ducking, you'redodging you're hedging.
You're waiting for that next punch.
So hypervigilant peopletend to be very cautious.
These predispositions are why Iam effective as a coach, because I
tend to work with people who thinklike me to help them learn, to use
(08:05):
descriptive praise as an example.
Critical people, as you mightimagine, don't necessarily
praise as the first thought.
So teaching descriptive praise, teachingpeople to be encouraging and acknowledge
the great work done in affirm helpsindividuals find the good in just about
any situation and just about any personwhile at the same time, not ignoring what
(08:27):
could go wrong to be ready for anything.
My default, think about yours.
My default is to thinkabout processes and details.
First as I'm naturally an analyticalproblem solver, an idea person, a
troubleshoot I've increased my vocabularyto practice descriptive praise to
say what went well specifically.
(08:49):
So the actions can be replicated.
I'm quite serious.
There really are people who likeme needed to learn how to do this.
Find someone to affirm.
Describe what went well with somedetail being really specific and
sincere and see what happens.
What's your result.
Seriously, try it.
(09:10):
Hearing yourself.
Affirm will impact your mindset.
And if you really mean the wordsyou say, and I hope you do once
affirmation becomes a regular partof your conversations, whether in
person or in groups, affirmationcan actually impact your mindset.
I encourage this practiceas part of the coach broach.
I have literally learned to shift mythinking and teach others to do the
(09:34):
same, to take people at face value, bewilling to think the best of everyone
until they prove my best intent.
Wrong.
How about you?
What's your mindset?
What's your default setting mentally.
Do you first think about achievement ordo you first think about what to avoid?
Everyone has these predispositionsand I've observed these in
(09:56):
individuals for a long time.
And these predispositionscome out in our speech.
They come out in our tone of voice.
They certainly come out in our bodylanguage and our facial expressions.
So how does a predisposition impactwhat you or I say our choice of
words, for example, the energy andthe tone that we bring to our voice.
Let's challenge ourselves tolisten to ourselves today.
(10:19):
So let me challenge you, listen toyourself today, what you say out loud
and what you think before you speak.
Ideally, we all think before wespeak, right, this is an instructive
exercise and is the secondchallenge of the coach approach?
Remember, the first challengeis the vulnerability commit.
(10:41):
If you're really brave ask the people inyour life who know you best, if they can
define your default setting, maybe they'llshare this about themselves with you.
So are you curious what happened withthose group of bankers and sales people?
Much of the morning wasspent unpacking perceptions.
(11:03):
Unpacking prejudgments conclusions,knee jerk, reactions, and assumptions
by all parties, as part of thevulnerability commitment as a step
towards interdependence and ourdeclaration of interdependence.
Once we were able to unpack theseperceptions, these assumptions,
(11:26):
these prejudgments, then we couldget to the essence of why we're
meeting, forming the new team.
I was primed by the CEO who invitedme to facilitate the meeting, that
there would be opposites attracted.
He hoped to the same result, profit and.
And of course client satisfaction,ultimately towards client loyalty,
(11:50):
but getting everyone I was told toattentively, listen to one another,
really listen to one anotherinternalize information, understand
and act upon the strategic goals.
That's the list would takesome doing so here they are.
Again, these are importantthings to consider.
(12:12):
Getting everyone to attentively, listento one another internalize information,
take it in, absorb it, understand.
So there's no misunderstandings andthen act upon the strategic goals.
Yes, it took some doing to bealigned in decisions and priorities.
A very important process conversationsince a new team was being formed.
(12:38):
People realized theywere basically a group.
A group with limited common goalsand no real shared vision yet.
That's why they weren't a team.
Because as you know, teams have ashared vision, everybody going in
the same direction towards alignment,everyone having a line of sight
(12:58):
towards the strategic goals, thegreat news was every person was open
to the vulnerability commitment.
They.
They were willing to explorethis important collaboration.
I believed everyone was sincere.
Openness is a key trait of peoplewho demonstrate the coach approach
(13:21):
to apply the coach approach.
The first step has three opportunities.
Each of these opportunitiesstarts with the letter a if
I'm ever leading a training.
I think AAA AAA don't forget AA wordsand AR acknowledge, accept an account.
So if you wanna remember the firststep with the three opportunities
(13:42):
of the coach approach, if AAAhelps you, it helps me again.
These three opportunities are toacknowledge, accept, and account.
Let's look at the last word first account.
To embrace the coach approach.
I must be willing to accountfor the differences in people.
(14:04):
Interpersonal styles and ultimatelyin communication styles, before
I can acknowledge that I mightbe contributing to the very
challenges that drive down results.
I must be willing to accept thatI could be part of the problem.
Whether that's my communicationstyle or lack of transparency.
(14:26):
Do you see how the vulnerabilitycommitment plays into this?
There's a lot of personal responsibilityI'm taking there a lot of acknowledgement.
So therefore I must be willingto account for the differences
before I acknowledge that some ofthese issues might actually be me.
Once I accept that I couldbe part of the challenges.
(14:47):
Maybe my communication styleor my lack of transparency.
I have to be also willingto ask myself a question.
I ask in coaching on a regularbasis, especially executive coaching.
I write this on a piece ofpaper and I hand it to a leader.
Are you inadvertently contributingto the very things you were
(15:08):
trying to reduce or eliminate?
So I ask myself, you ask.
Am I inadvertently contributingto the very things I am
trying to reduce or eliminate.
If I am working towards eliminatingunproductive conflict, I must be
willing to acknowledge that I may beunknowingly contributing to the conflict
(15:30):
by my words, actions or inaction.
So you pick a goal and you plug andplay, you pick a behavioral goal
or some kind of a strategic goal.
And fill in that blank.
If I am working towards blank, I mustbe willing to acknowledge that I may
be unknowingly contributing to blankby my words, my actions or my inaction.
(15:55):
Sometimes it's just aboutperception as someone's reality.
But when you and I are ready to acceptpersonal responsibility for our impact,
we're ready for the coach approach.
You can see how opennessfits in here as a key trait.
I hope when we learn to listen toourselves and to evaluate ourselves
(16:16):
to improve, we're getting closerand closer to responsive leadership.
So once we acknowledge, we accept andwe account for individual differences,
we are ready to take the next.
To be willing to consider differences.
Is uniqueness a benefit?
I don't know about you and I'm gonna playwith my tone of voice here a little bit,
(16:38):
but the word different is often used as anegative ever heard someone use this tone.
That's different as if differentis bad or strange or negative.
What is it about the word different.
That somehow makes me anyway, thinkof something less than great, by the
(16:59):
way, when I discuss differences, Idon't just mean differences as we
were describe embracing diversity,for example, in the traditional sense,
I mean, differences or diversityof thought different work styles.
And so on the coach approach invites usto believe differences are a benefit.
(17:21):
Like-minded people who exclusively prefergroup think and enjoy an echo chamber
of agreement, agreement agreement, mayin fact be limiting potential in every
corner of the fading corner office.
So step two of the coach approachis embracing uniqueness among people
(17:41):
as a strength to leverage and scale.
Step three of the coach approach is how.
To leverage these differences forcontinuous positive improvement member
CPI, continuous positive improvement,timeless step three can get challenging.
(18:03):
Sometimes it's really difficultto leverage differences.
So we must again, challenge ourselves.
There is a mindset shift required ofleaders that takes some skill to ease out
of the daily grind, to focus on what toachieve, to remain competitive and nimble.
(18:25):
We can be weighted down by pressureand struggles and anxiety and stress.
Did you even hear my voice change?
My energy drop.
When I said those words we can be,we can be absolutely weighted down.
So there is a mind shift required ofleaders that takes skill to ease in
(18:46):
and out of the daily grind to focuson what to achieve because we have
to remain competitive and nimble.
So another challenge of thecoach approach is empathy.
Many coworkers, managers and leaders spendseveral hours a day avoiding the next bad.
And when required to encouragesupport and discuss what's possible.
(19:10):
A shift in mindset isnecessary to sound optimistic.
This is step four of the coach approach.
The shift and shift justhappens to spell a concept.
I follow to rise above the daily grind.
As I rise above, I seek higher ideals.
(19:31):
There's the first three lettersS H I seek higher ideals.
Ft can go one way or another.
You can either fix yourthinking or be flexible.
You choose, fix, or flex seekinghigher ideals, fixes thinking as
a statement for shift or seekinghigher ideals with flexible thinking.
(19:57):
It's up to you.
You choose.
For me, the biggest deal isseeking the higher ideals to
rise above the daily grind.
Then I can shift and literally shiftingmy mindset, fixes my thinking because as I
fix my thinking upon higher ideals, loftygoals, what's possible potential aspiring.
(20:19):
Then I can move outside of thehere and now what bogs me down.
And I can transcend these difficulties.
Rising above the demands of each situationthat is hard work takes practice, but
it's crucial to not feel crushed underthe weight of so many responsibilities.
(20:39):
So to move forward, we mustalways look towards what's next,
ideally, towards what's possible.
Excellent.
And finding potential.
In summary, building productiverelationships between people who
think very differently about howto produce results is certainly a
(21:01):
challenge for every worker today.
No matter your role.
And I've talked a lotabout leaders and managers.
So let me say again, the coachapproach is for everyone.
So the summary for the first traitand challenges of the coach approach
are the first trait require.
To accept.
The first challenge is openness.
(21:22):
The first challenge is a vulnerabilitycommitment to yourself and others.
So you'll become attunedto listening to yourself.
The next trait is also a challengeempathy, and by the way, have
empathy for yourself as well.
Discovering and applying empathy isimportant for everyone, but especially
for people who work with individuals,unlike ourselves, The first step in
(21:47):
applying the coach approach is toacknowledge, accept, and account for
differences and diversity in people andcommunication and leadership styles.
The second step is embracingthe uniqueness among the
different people as a strength.
If you haven't read Tom RA's bookyet about strengths, I hope you do.
(22:10):
We all have a top five andit's a pretty fantastic book.
Highly recommend.
Step three is leveraging andmaximizing these differences
towards continuous improvement.
Step four is mastering the mindsetshift as appropriate to practice
transformational communication.
As we master all of these challenges.
(22:34):
We start to understandresponsive leadership.
I'll spend more time on futurepodcasts on responsive leadership.
The coach approach is ready for you.
Are you ready for the coach approach?
I am Diane Ravenscroft and you have beenlistening to the coach approach podcast.
(22:54):
See you next time when we willdig further into this model, and
I will share about the exceptionto transformational communication.
What I call excellence through avoidance.
Thanks for listening.
Bye for now.
You're listening to the coach approachwith Diane Ravenscroft, whether
you're an entrepreneur, an ambitiousemployee or someone interested
in getting the most out of everyconnection, responsive communication is.
Join management andlearning specialist, Dr.
Diane Ravenscroft, as she givesyou the tools to improve any
(00:27):
relationship that matters to yourbusiness, your career and your life.
All right.
Here's Diane.
I am Diane Ravenscroft and you arelistening to the coach approach podcast.
The coach approach is a mindset and askillset with steps to achieve, avoid, and
celebrate along the way towards responsiveleadership and improved relationships.
(00:51):
Today, I will share about myvulnerability commitment, declaration
of inter dependence and othersnapshots of trademark programs.
As we explore some coach approachskills time for a story stories, have
a title, and I will call this story.
Contrasting mindsets.
(01:13):
The story takes place in a smallconference room in a local hotel.
This story of contrasting mindsetsis one of my favorite encounters
with smart, dedicated people,expressing their individuality, amid
changing roles and restructuring.
I was invited to facilitate an importantmeeting with a group of financial
(01:35):
services leaders who are being askedto collaborate more fully with their
business development team leaders.
The lenders were seeking to growtheir market share by introducing new
products, I will call them bankers.
The bankers invited thebusiness development leaders.
I will call them salespeople who you guessed.
(01:55):
It were eagerly discussing whatwas possible, attainable, exciting
and aspirational while the bankerswere making sure to prepare for the
worst while planning for the bestdue diligence above all admirable.
The banker's enthusiasm was directedmore towards caution in a reserved
(02:17):
manner, which at times perplexed.
And for some demotivated after anhour of brainstorming, many of the
bankers sounded pretty negative andpessimistic to the sales people.
Sorry, bankers, regrettably.
Many of the sales people sounded toxicallypositive and unrealistic to the bankers.
(02:39):
Sorry, salespeople.
This feedback to each group member waspart of the vulnerability commitment.
Agreed upon prior to the meeting inhigh stake, potentially high risk
and even high conflict meetings.
I asked for a vulnerabilitycommitment from everyone.
(02:59):
I meet alone with each team memberprior to the retreat or group
meeting and ask about the culture.
What I'm hoping to learn is that peopletrust one another for the most part.
And so are willing to commit to honestand open dialogue, to deal with any
uncertainties with people or with process.
(03:21):
The vulnerability commitment is animportant part of the declaration
of interdependence that ends themeeting and becomes a personalized
mission of the new team.
The declaration of independenceis very familiar to Americans.
And so a declaration of interdependenceis an acknowledge that each
(03:43):
person needs the other and adecision made by one may impact.
It's basically a governance agreement forattitude, behavior and conduct a, B, C.
I have helped write numerous declarationsof interdependence with many teams,
(04:04):
and each is as unique as the peoplewho have worked on them together.
The vulnerability commitmentalso helps with how people
hear themselves and others.
People come to the meeting, readyto listen to their coworkers with a
willingness to be open to potential.
If before they limited or marginalize thepotential of a coworker by prejudging,
(04:28):
assuming, or having low expectations,the vulnerability commitment opens the
door to new ways of hearing each other.
Eventually this practice manifestsin transformational communi.
It takes practice.
It takes effort, but it's worth it.
The vulnerability commitment anddeclaration of interdependence are
(04:50):
part of the coach approach skillset.
And your first challenge,should you choose to accept?
How willing are you to bevulnerable with your coworkers?
How interdependent do youfeel as a team, a member.
Applying the coach approach helpspeople hear themselves in a new way
(05:10):
to become attuned to not only howwe think we sound to ourselves, but
how we may sound to someone else.
Someone who may not have the samemindset or wiring hearing ourselves
is a little bit like holding up thefigurative mirror or put another
way, taking an audio selfie.
(05:31):
How we sound to someone elsecan also get to perception.
I cannot control how people perceiveme, but I have a lot of control over
how I present myself, listening tomyself as a starting point, helps me
evaluate the tone of my voice, my wordchoice as relatable and hopefully warm.
(05:52):
And if I'm really self-aware and youare evaluate our motive, our intent.
If any of you out there know Robbyburns a Scottish poet, he has a poem
about seeing yourselves as others.
See you.
It's the same idea, except it's reallyfocused on our words, hearing ourself.
(06:13):
The reason this is important isbecause there's another skill I will
describe in a future podcast, hearingyourself and stopping yourself.
But for now, let's get back tothe vulnerability commitment.
To fulfill the vulnerability commitment.
Everyone must come with goodintentions and be ready to collaborate.
The customer needs are centralto the outcomes while each person
(06:37):
contributes their vision for howto work together in a new team.
Listening to ourselvescan be transformational.
It adds to our self knowledge becauseit produces awareness of our thinking
and possibly our predispositions,our, our knee jerk reactions.
What's automatic in our thinking.
Believe it or not, I'm fairlypredisposed to being cautious
(07:01):
and sometimes I'm a naysayer.
I can even be critical.
So as I describe some of mycharacteristics, please think of yourself
or someone you work with or work for.
So you can become attunedto your preferences.
When I said I was critical.
Did you think I'm not critical?
I can't stand critical people or didyou think yes, I can be pretty critical
(07:22):
myself or cautious or even a naysay.
I wanna be optimistic, but my wiring,my mindset, sometimes even my outlook
often defaults to what could go wrong.
I tend to also be a little hypervigilant.
My favorite new word, a client taught me.
My client said, and I'lltalk more about this.
(07:43):
That being hypervigilant is sort oflike ducking you're in a boxing room.
You're ducking, you'redodging you're hedging.
You're waiting for that next punch.
So hypervigilant peopletend to be very cautious.
These predispositions are why Iam effective as a coach, because I
tend to work with people who thinklike me to help them learn, to use
(08:05):
descriptive praise as an example.
Critical people, as you mightimagine, don't necessarily
praise as the first thought.
So teaching descriptive praise, teachingpeople to be encouraging and acknowledge
the great work done in affirm helpsindividuals find the good in just about
any situation and just about any personwhile at the same time, not ignoring what
(08:27):
could go wrong to be ready for anything.
My default, think about yours.
My default is to thinkabout processes and details.
First as I'm naturally an analyticalproblem solver, an idea person, a
troubleshoot I've increased my vocabularyto practice descriptive praise to
say what went well specifically.
(08:49):
So the actions can be replicated.
I'm quite serious.
There really are people who likeme needed to learn how to do this.
Find someone to affirm.
Describe what went well with somedetail being really specific and
sincere and see what happens.
What's your result.
Seriously, try it.
(09:10):
Hearing yourself.
Affirm will impact your mindset.
And if you really mean the wordsyou say, and I hope you do once
affirmation becomes a regular partof your conversations, whether in
person or in groups, affirmationcan actually impact your mindset.
I encourage this practiceas part of the coach broach.
I have literally learned to shift mythinking and teach others to do the
(09:34):
same, to take people at face value, bewilling to think the best of everyone
until they prove my best intent.
Wrong.
How about you?
What's your mindset?
What's your default setting mentally.
Do you first think about achievement ordo you first think about what to avoid?
Everyone has these predispositionsand I've observed these in
(09:56):
individuals for a long time.
And these predispositionscome out in our speech.
They come out in our tone of voice.
They certainly come out in our bodylanguage and our facial expressions.
So how does a predisposition impactwhat you or I say our choice of
words, for example, the energy andthe tone that we bring to our voice.
Let's challenge ourselves tolisten to ourselves today.
(10:19):
So let me challenge you, listen toyourself today, what you say out loud
and what you think before you speak.
Ideally, we all think before wespeak, right, this is an instructive
exercise and is the secondchallenge of the coach approach?
Remember, the first challengeis the vulnerability commit.
(10:41):
If you're really brave ask the people inyour life who know you best, if they can
define your default setting, maybe they'llshare this about themselves with you.
So are you curious what happened withthose group of bankers and sales people?
Much of the morning wasspent unpacking perceptions.
(11:03):
Unpacking prejudgments conclusions,knee jerk, reactions, and assumptions
by all parties, as part of thevulnerability commitment as a step
towards interdependence and ourdeclaration of interdependence.
Once we were able to unpack theseperceptions, these assumptions,
(11:26):
these prejudgments, then we couldget to the essence of why we're
meeting, forming the new team.
I was primed by the CEO who invitedme to facilitate the meeting, that
there would be opposites attracted.
He hoped to the same result, profit and.
And of course client satisfaction,ultimately towards client loyalty,
(11:50):
but getting everyone I was told toattentively, listen to one another,
really listen to one anotherinternalize information, understand
and act upon the strategic goals.
That's the list would takesome doing so here they are.
Again, these are importantthings to consider.
(12:12):
Getting everyone to attentively, listento one another internalize information,
take it in, absorb it, understand.
So there's no misunderstandings andthen act upon the strategic goals.
Yes, it took some doing to bealigned in decisions and priorities.
A very important process conversationsince a new team was being formed.
(12:38):
People realized theywere basically a group.
A group with limited common goalsand no real shared vision yet.
That's why they weren't a team.
Because as you know, teams have ashared vision, everybody going in
the same direction towards alignment,everyone having a line of sight
(12:58):
towards the strategic goals, thegreat news was every person was open
to the vulnerability commitment.
They.
They were willing to explorethis important collaboration.
I believed everyone was sincere.
Openness is a key trait of peoplewho demonstrate the coach approach
(13:21):
to apply the coach approach.
The first step has three opportunities.
Each of these opportunitiesstarts with the letter a if
I'm ever leading a training.
I think AAA AAA don't forget AA wordsand AR acknowledge, accept an account.
So if you wanna remember the firststep with the three opportunities
(13:42):
of the coach approach, if AAAhelps you, it helps me again.
These three opportunities are toacknowledge, accept, and account.
Let's look at the last word first account.
To embrace the coach approach.
I must be willing to accountfor the differences in people.
(14:04):
Interpersonal styles and ultimatelyin communication styles, before
I can acknowledge that I mightbe contributing to the very
challenges that drive down results.
I must be willing to accept thatI could be part of the problem.
Whether that's my communicationstyle or lack of transparency.
(14:26):
Do you see how the vulnerabilitycommitment plays into this?
There's a lot of personal responsibilityI'm taking there a lot of acknowledgement.
So therefore I must be willingto account for the differences
before I acknowledge that some ofthese issues might actually be me.
Once I accept that I couldbe part of the challenges.
(14:47):
Maybe my communication styleor my lack of transparency.
I have to be also willingto ask myself a question.
I ask in coaching on a regularbasis, especially executive coaching.
I write this on a piece ofpaper and I hand it to a leader.
Are you inadvertently contributingto the very things you were
(15:08):
trying to reduce or eliminate?
So I ask myself, you ask.
Am I inadvertently contributingto the very things I am
trying to reduce or eliminate.
If I am working towards eliminatingunproductive conflict, I must be
willing to acknowledge that I may beunknowingly contributing to the conflict
(15:30):
by my words, actions or inaction.
So you pick a goal and you plug andplay, you pick a behavioral goal
or some kind of a strategic goal.
And fill in that blank.
If I am working towards blank, I mustbe willing to acknowledge that I may
be unknowingly contributing to blankby my words, my actions or my inaction.
(15:55):
Sometimes it's just aboutperception as someone's reality.
But when you and I are ready to acceptpersonal responsibility for our impact,
we're ready for the coach approach.
You can see how opennessfits in here as a key trait.
I hope when we learn to listen toourselves and to evaluate ourselves
(16:16):
to improve, we're getting closerand closer to responsive leadership.
So once we acknowledge, we accept andwe account for individual differences,
we are ready to take the next.
To be willing to consider differences.
Is uniqueness a benefit?
I don't know about you and I'm gonna playwith my tone of voice here a little bit,
(16:38):
but the word different is often used as anegative ever heard someone use this tone.
That's different as if differentis bad or strange or negative.
What is it about the word different.
That somehow makes me anyway, thinkof something less than great, by the
(16:59):
way, when I discuss differences, Idon't just mean differences as we
were describe embracing diversity,for example, in the traditional sense,
I mean, differences or diversityof thought different work styles.
And so on the coach approach invites usto believe differences are a benefit.
(17:21):
Like-minded people who exclusively prefergroup think and enjoy an echo chamber
of agreement, agreement agreement, mayin fact be limiting potential in every
corner of the fading corner office.
So step two of the coach approachis embracing uniqueness among people
(17:41):
as a strength to leverage and scale.
Step three of the coach approach is how.
To leverage these differences forcontinuous positive improvement member
CPI, continuous positive improvement,timeless step three can get challenging.
(18:03):
Sometimes it's really difficultto leverage differences.
So we must again, challenge ourselves.
There is a mindset shift required ofleaders that takes some skill to ease out
of the daily grind, to focus on what toachieve, to remain competitive and nimble.
(18:25):
We can be weighted down by pressureand struggles and anxiety and stress.
Did you even hear my voice change?
My energy drop.
When I said those words we can be,we can be absolutely weighted down.
So there is a mind shift required ofleaders that takes skill to ease in
(18:46):
and out of the daily grind to focuson what to achieve because we have
to remain competitive and nimble.
So another challenge of thecoach approach is empathy.
Many coworkers, managers and leaders spendseveral hours a day avoiding the next bad.
And when required to encouragesupport and discuss what's possible.
(19:10):
A shift in mindset isnecessary to sound optimistic.
This is step four of the coach approach.
The shift and shift justhappens to spell a concept.
I follow to rise above the daily grind.
As I rise above, I seek higher ideals.
(19:31):
There's the first three lettersS H I seek higher ideals.
Ft can go one way or another.
You can either fix yourthinking or be flexible.
You choose, fix, or flex seekinghigher ideals, fixes thinking as
a statement for shift or seekinghigher ideals with flexible thinking.
(19:57):
It's up to you.
You choose.
For me, the biggest deal isseeking the higher ideals to
rise above the daily grind.
Then I can shift and literally shiftingmy mindset, fixes my thinking because as I
fix my thinking upon higher ideals, loftygoals, what's possible potential aspiring.
(20:19):
Then I can move outside of thehere and now what bogs me down.
And I can transcend these difficulties.
Rising above the demands of each situationthat is hard work takes practice, but
it's crucial to not feel crushed underthe weight of so many responsibilities.
(20:39):
So to move forward, we mustalways look towards what's next,
ideally, towards what's possible.
Excellent.
And finding potential.
In summary, building productiverelationships between people who
think very differently about howto produce results is certainly a
(21:01):
challenge for every worker today.
No matter your role.
And I've talked a lotabout leaders and managers.
So let me say again, the coachapproach is for everyone.
So the summary for the first traitand challenges of the coach approach
are the first trait require.
To accept.
The first challenge is openness.
(21:22):
The first challenge is a vulnerabilitycommitment to yourself and others.
So you'll become attunedto listening to yourself.
The next trait is also a challengeempathy, and by the way, have
empathy for yourself as well.
Discovering and applying empathy isimportant for everyone, but especially
for people who work with individuals,unlike ourselves, The first step in
(21:47):
applying the coach approach is toacknowledge, accept, and account for
differences and diversity in people andcommunication and leadership styles.
The second step is embracingthe uniqueness among the
different people as a strength.
If you haven't read Tom RA's bookyet about strengths, I hope you do.
(22:10):
We all have a top five andit's a pretty fantastic book.
Highly recommend.
Step three is leveraging andmaximizing these differences
towards continuous improvement.
Step four is mastering the mindsetshift as appropriate to practice
transformational communication.
As we master all of these challenges.
(22:34):
We start to understandresponsive leadership.
I'll spend more time on futurepodcasts on responsive leadership.
The coach approach is ready for you.
Are you ready for the coach approach?
I am Diane Ravenscroft and you have beenlistening to the coach approach podcast.
(22:54):
See you next time when we willdig further into this model, and
I will share about the exceptionto transformational communication.
What I call excellence through avoidance.
Thanks for listening.
Bye for now.
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