September 12, 2022 • 24 mins
Join learning and communication specialist Dr Diane Ravenscroft as she introduces the Coach Approach, a mindset and skill set she has developed through decades working with business leaders and professionals. In this episode, hear stories from real people that Diane has worked with, demonstrating important tenets of the Coach Approach.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
You're listening to the coach approachwith Diane Ravenscroft, whether
you're an entrepreneur, an ambitiousemployee or someone interested
in getting the most out of everyconnection, responsive communication is.
Join management andlearning specialist, Dr.
Diane Ravenscroft, as she givesyou the tools to improve any
(00:27):
relationship that matters to yourbusiness, your career and your life.
All right.
Here's Diane.
I am Diane Ravenscroft and you arelistening to the coach approach podcast.
The coach approach is a mindset and askill set with steps to achieve, avoid and
celebrate along the way towards responsiveleadership and improved relationships.
(00:50):
Today, I will share stories about realpeople who did and did not recognize
the importance of words to lead, engage,inspire, and motivate their teams.
I have attended so many meetingswith different kinds of leaders and
individuals that I can now offer the coachapproach podcasts to provide listeners
opportunities, to learn and grow throughother people's stories, other people's
(01:14):
decisions, other people's mistakes,missed opportunities and success.
These podcasts offer moments toconsider other people's perspectives
and explore our thinking aboutleadership and communication.
Working in the field of organizationalpsychology has created numerous
opportunities for me to observeresearch and see patterns in attitudes,
(01:38):
aptitudes, and behaviors, especiallycommunication and leadership styles.
After 20 years, enough time haspassed that I get to write and share
about situations and scenarios.
You can benefit from my experiences,my expertise, and the lessons learned
from numerous hardworking people wantingto contribute in their workplaces.
(02:00):
I can tell these stories so thatnobody can detect a person or place.
And in the absence of non-disclosureagreements, I am free to focus
on describing the effectivenessof the coach approach from real
situations with great people.
Of course, I'll disguise identities.
At times I may single out certainprofessions that tend to attract people
(02:22):
with fixed attitudes, like optimismand pessimism, for example, but I will
do my best not to generalize today.
I will introduce you to atechie and a few engineers.
The cybersecurity leader referredto himself as having entered his
profession as an optimistic techie.
He explained that after several years inhis new leadership role, he had developed
(02:46):
a mindset grounded in hyper vigilance.
I asked how he would define this state.
He told me to picture a boxing ringand one boxer dodging hedging and
ducking while the other boxer wasincessantly pounding away at his head.
He felt he didn't relate to some of hisemployees, the dreamers, he called them.
(03:10):
He needed dreamers to innovateand develop new products.
And it was part of his role as chieftechnology officer to inspire the team
by leading weekly meetings and hearingfrom everyone, the optimistic techie.
Remember, that's how hedescribed himself, explained his
perspective and feelings this way.
Quote.
Remember, I ask people if I can writedown what they say, when it's striking
(03:36):
quote, imagine needing to create loftygoals, to inspire collaboration around
division and strategy two hours a week.
When most of your day, every day isabout avoiding the potential next bad
virus waiting to attack your network.
He continued, I feel like asuperhero most of the time, and
(03:56):
my people are my superpowers.
We're protecting people from theharm, bad actors wanna inflict
on our systems and organization.
And we need to find new ways to keepour customers safe all the time.
I need to figure out a way tocall back the dreamer in me.
He said that was first drawn to it.
(04:17):
Then I might be able to relateto my team again, end quote,
and you know who you are.
I hope I did your statements justice,as I repeated your powerful words.
These very challenges stated succinctly bythis chief technology officer are exactly
why the coach approach is relevant.
(04:40):
The coach approach is ultimatelyabout transformational communication.
This leader had all the elementsof an inspirational speaker.
And I told him this yet, he lackedthe ability to see his talents
and natural aptitude to encouragebased on feeling pretty burned out.
A lot of the time he wasburdened, he was bogged down.
(05:03):
He felt buried under theweight of the responsibility.
The key was that he believedhis people were his superpowers.
Did you notice that with thisgenuine appreciation for his team
expressing his gratitude for theirdiligence in descriptive ways became
his weekly meeting, starting point.
(05:25):
He started to learn the shift to seekhigher ideals and fix his thinking.
Week after week, he built trustand camaraderie by going around
the table, pointing out howeach person made a difference.
He pointed out the ways they handledreal situations with finesse.
(05:49):
He also started collecting anonymouscomments left in the break room
and read emails from customers andcoworkers out loud in the meetings.
These became talking points thatwere used to troubleshoot challenges
and think of new ways to tackleincoming, known, and unknown threats.
You have to anticipate unknowns inhis and other businesses slowly.
(06:11):
It became natural to rise above thedaily grind to notice the small ways
people were making a big difference.
Someone came up with the idea ofcreating a banner, having t-shirt.
And using the phrase.
Thank you for all the ways youare making a big difference.
Initially, it was thank you forall the small ways you were making
(06:31):
a big difference, but this leaderdidn't want to sound like he was
undermining or minimizing effort.
What was crucial for morale that I took anote of was that any total money spent on
these trinkets, he called them like thet-shirts was also given as a bonus or by
choice matched as a donation to charity.
(06:53):
Whatever the employee preferred, not asingle t-shirt, but the entire spend.
So if the total of theirmotivational items was, let's say
$900 each person received or coulddonate all or some of $2,700.
How did I jump from nine to 2,700 whilethe leader wanted to convey that each
(07:15):
person's contribution was worth not oneor two, but three times the investment
not only was recognition now, a priority,but rewards, including financial rewards,
the optics of spending money on stuff.
When people could use a financial rewardwas not lost on this leader, he became
sensitive and attuned to what matteredmost to his people because he asked them.
(07:41):
Affirmation is transformationalawareness is transformational.
If using affirmation anddescriptive praise is your norm.
You know what I mean?
If people trust you and believeyou, you will have a tremendous
impact with your descriptive praise.
If you're uncertain, whetherpeople will trust and believe
(08:01):
you, the coach approaches for you.
Descriptive praise is powerful asit is an opportunity to teach what
was done well, and also create aconversation that feels affirming.
It's a learned skill, and of courseis a significant aspect of the coach
approach through praise stated sincere.
The chief technology officersteam was becoming more receptive
(08:25):
to feedback and less resistant tocorrection through affirmation.
People still needed instructed andguided of course, but with the momentum
building through loyalty and trust,people were becoming more willing to
share their biggest challenges withoutfear of repercussions or criticism,
the gotcha factor disappeared.
(08:46):
They added business continuity strategiesto their product lines and services.
And even turnover was reduced.
The business expanded its market shareand was poised to scale their services.
The leadership team adoptedthe descriptive praise
approach with their teams.
And as far as everyone is concerned, thecompany is set up for future success.
(09:08):
You can measure these thingsand I can show you how.
Remember, this individual's significantchange that he wondered if it would
be small, that felt daunting at thetime, the superhero who didn't relate
to dreamers, he wanted to find ways tounderstand and connect with his dreamers.
(09:30):
He did it, they did it findingopportunities to connect in meaningful
ways, spread thoughtfulness andinnovation through the entire company.
To me.
This is both inspirational andtransformational, attentive,
supportive leaders who affirmand cheer us on are quite rare.
If you work for somebody who looksfor opportunities to be descriptive in
(09:52):
their praise, you are very fortunate.
I hope you know that this cautiousit leader was a breath of fresh air.
He was ready to explore thetraits, steps and challenges
required of the coach approach.
One of the first lessons oftransformational communication is the
awareness that people come to workfor the most part, wired a certain
(10:17):
way as they tackle challenges andopportunities to yield results.
If you work for someone wiredto acknowledge your strengths,
you might not be able to imaginereporting to someone who views your
aspirational outlook as an impediment.
I've seen this all or nothing mindsetdiscourage the most resilient person.
(10:39):
The first time I met someone who viewedan aspirational outlook as an impediment,
I had to ask them to repeat themselves.
I literally remember losing mycomposure and saying, what did you say?
Normally, as a coach,you stay fairly composed.
There are guidelines through theinternational coaching Federation.
There are ethicalguidelines and competencies.
(11:03):
And I remember the day a leadersaid to me that these people were
toxically positive and he viewed theiraspirational outlook as an impediment.
And I said, what did you say as opposedto, could you explain that for me please?
Or something with more poise?
As I said, I've seen this allor nothing mindset discourage
(11:23):
the most resilient person.
As I introduce my coachapproach through these podcasts.
I want to emphasize that this modelof communication and leadership isn't
focused on trying to change attitudes,though, I will discuss attitude.
How could I not attitude canoften be permanent though.
And set early in life.
Attitude is often expressed as glass,half full thinking, the optimist
(11:47):
and glass half empty thinking.
The pessimist, the coach approachinstead is about improving aptitude.
Aptitude is about our capacity to learn.
Aptitude is changeable.
And as my French speaking, clientswould say, aptitude is malleable.
Love that word malleable.
When you, when you saymalleable, hold your hands.
(12:09):
As if you're sculpting withclay and you get the idea of how
aptitude can expand, one's thinkingto create endless possibilities.
A change in aptitude canproduce a change in results.
An aptitude for lifelong learningoffers potential to stay curious and
never stop learning, to challengeourselves an aptitude to resistance.
(12:33):
On the other hand, and reluctanceoffers skepticism and hesitation
hesitation to try new ways torelate or connect with people.
Aptitude, like attitude cango one way or the other.
When we tackle improving aptitudeattitude may just change.
The coach approach focuseson what's possible.
(12:54):
Excellent.
And uniquely an idea you may nothave heard before my excellence
of avoidance exception.
Yes.
Excellence of avoidance,this new kind of excellence.
I'll say it again.
Excellence through avoidance is alsoa key part of my coach approach.
(13:15):
When an exception is in place forhow to describe a typical vision.
I emphasize the importance ofachievement and aspirational statements,
these motivate and build trust.
But many years ago, I met people whosemission is to prevent and protect like
the chief technology officer we just met.
So I introduce you to a realisticengineer, his words so far,
(13:39):
you've met an optimistic techie.
Now meet a realistic engineer.
This leader's main job in a utilitycompany is not to poison people.
Remember he described himself as arealist and works basically with water.
So his main job is to notpoison people plain and simple.
(13:59):
That's what he told me.
I was invited to presentmanagement training.
So I asked for the missionstatement in advance to prepare
and customize the learning program.
Remember the days when not everybody hada website, it's really not that long.
The president of the utility companyshared the formal mission that
the public sees on their materialsthen quietly told me that the real
(14:21):
mission is not to poison people.
This is excellence throughavoidance, for sure.
A vision stated in negative termsunder any other circumstances might not
seem aspirational, but as the providerof clean water, I remain in complete
agreement that not poisoning people is awonderful vision to achieve and maintain.
(14:42):
Like other engineers who don't wantbridges to collapse or surgeons
who don't want anyone to die ontheir operating table, excellence
through avoidance is important.
So the next time you hear a visionstated in the negative, don't
write people off as negative greatpeople demonstrating resilience
like law enforcement professionalsneed to be careful out there.
(15:05):
Just like that statement onhill street, blues, that old.
TV sitcom.
We can be careful out there anddo our best by avoiding danger,
the coach approach mindset.
Doesn't judge the person for the wordsthey use to express their purpose
engineers in particular, look out forsafety and yes, that can sound negative.
(15:27):
The coach approach exists tomake sure if the way you describe
your words sounds negative.
People don't perceive you as such.
It can be subtle.
So here's some examples.
A passionate leader said, quote, I'm goingto show you how broken our system is.
End quote.
I'm going to show you howbroken our system is, depending
(15:49):
on who is in the room.
This leader committed to exactness andprecision may be appreciated for their
attention to detail and directness.
I am gonna show you howbroken our system is.
Now, put this person with individualsmore focused on harmony and wellbeing.
And listen again, I am going toshow you how broken our system is.
(16:15):
How do you perceive this person?
They came with solutions, but how do youperceive them learning to be measured
in our communication is an importantskill and ties closely to motivation
ties to stamina and overall wellbeing.
The coach approach is a meanstowards learning transformational
(16:35):
communication, and also notwriting people off for sounding
thorough or being problem solvers.
If I have a broken system, I wantsomebody to show me how broken my system
is and bring me the solutions to fix it.
As we adjust to ourlistener, we might ask.
(16:59):
In an organization that focuses,let's say on harmony and wellbeing,
we might ask, is this correct?
Instead of declaringoutright, this is a mistake.
I have been in meetings where harmonyand wellbeing is part of the culture.
Very high up on the culture.
People seek meaningful work, but thingsgo wrong in any organization in any team.
(17:26):
The person who came into themeeting declaring outright.
This is a mistake who knewthat money was being lost.
Who knew that revenue was leaving.
The organization was not wellreceived after some coaching, the
person reapproached met with peopleagain and said, I have noticed some
(17:47):
data presented the data and asked.
Is this correct by tailoring themessage to the people and the situation.
The listeners were much morereceptive, attentive, and engaged.
She got their attention by reframing.
The words seems pretty simple.
(18:10):
This is a mistake asopposed to is this correct?
One produces defensiveness, theother cooperation and engage.
As we learn to tailor our message topeople in situations, we become more
effective and responsive as leadersand as communicators because the
coach approach is about aptitude.
(18:31):
People focus on getting the most outof every relationship, particularly
through building meaningful connections.
The individual, whenasking is this correct?
As opposed to stating this is amistake built, meaningful connections.
My happy place is facilitating thesekinds of situations that have a positive
impact, a transformational impact.
(18:52):
In fact, and I have been fortunateto do this work through teaching
coaching curriculum, design andconsulting for more than two decades.
I have coached entrepreneursand sales people as well as
engineers and compliance officers.
Most often in finance, manufacturing,technology, and insurance,
what has remained consistent?
(19:14):
No matter the situation or context isthat most entrepreneurs and sales people
are wired, possibly hardwired moretowards accomplishment, achievement.
And what's possible that may notsurprise you didn't surprise me yet.
What did surprise me is this thinkingcan present a challenge for any go
(19:35):
getter who as an optimist at heartis possibly viewed as an obstacle.
To people wire differently towardscaution hesitation or hypervigilance.
Some of my cautious clients tell meoptimist sound, toxically, positive.
They sound unrealistic and full of.
Let's say hot air.
(19:55):
I can understand that.
See how easy it is to judge the personby their words, if this happens.
And I think it does, it's even moreimportant to consider the what,
when, how and why of what we say.
I know it's easier said than done.
I know that's probably a pun, but it'strue because in the high pace demanding
environments where my clients work, one ofmy roles is to remind leaders, to remember
(20:19):
the people amid the focus on productsand processes, especially in engineering
environments, manufacturing and financeprocess gets a lot of attention.
It's easy for the needs ofpeople to disappear when products
and process needs attention.
The more intense, the demands of processimprovement and product development.
(20:39):
The more likely people'sneeds become ignored.
The coach approach helps break downall or nothing thinking to expose
and explore scarcity mindset.
A scarcity mindset will discouragedemotivate or even demoralize
the people wired to hope, helpand achieve in every workplace.
We know there's a culture.
Some people set a tone of a sense ofurgency, which can create all kinds of
(21:04):
situations that inspire or inflame people.
Some people love a sense of urgency,keeps them moving, keeps them going,
gives the momentum and traction.
Other people sense of urgencycreates panic and uncertainty and
feels very demanding and oppressive.
Many workplaces are seeking to createcommunities where everyone is welcome
(21:26):
and feels a sense of belonging.
I don't know what you would describeyour workplace as, I don't know how
you would describe your culture,but every workplace has one.
As a coach, I invite peopleto ask more of themselves.
I also recognize and relate to howdifficult it may be for leaders to
shift their mindset, to relate toand connect with everyone they serve.
(21:49):
Observant leaders recognize thatmorale suffers when the pressures
of work are allowed to foster anegative culture, observant leaders
recognize that morale suffers.
When the pressures of work are allowedto foster a negative culture, feeling
overwhelmed can start to overridea person's capacity to think big.
(22:12):
I have been there.
I'm guessing you have.
The chief technology officer andengineers learned how to share concerns
and potential in a way that conveyedassurance trust and support these learned
skills, prevent a scarcity mindset.
Should a scarcity mindset.
(22:33):
Start to creep into thinking overtime, a negative outlook, blurs,
potential and possibilities.
Fade away.
I speak from experience.
Don't allow, please a scarcity mindsetto creep into thinking, because
over time, a negative outlook willblur potential and possibilities
will fade away in stark contrast.
(22:55):
Children are curious and have atremendous capacity for imagination.
You often hear visionaries speakabout the importance of innovation.
I think innovation is simplyimagination paired with new ways of
creating something out of nothing.
I want to make an impact by bringingback curiosity, imagination,
(23:19):
inspiration, and motivation to work.
Let's be HAPPI again.
Let's be happier again.
Let's enjoy our workmore to be competitive.
We must have stamina.
And if you love what you do with peoplewho share the same commitment and passion.
We will enjoy our work again.
What is that phrase?
If you love what you do, you'd doit for nothing, something like that.
(23:42):
So let's make it happen.
That's one of the goals of thecoach approach working together and
enjoying the work in each other.
It's possible.
I've seen it.
Next time we meet, I will share morestories and anecdotes based on real
people applying the coach approach.
I am Diane.
(24:03):
Ravenscroft see you next time.
Thanks for listening.
You're listening to the coach approachwith Diane Ravenscroft, whether
you're an entrepreneur, an ambitiousemployee or someone interested
in getting the most out of everyconnection, responsive communication is.
Join management andlearning specialist, Dr.
Diane Ravenscroft, as she givesyou the tools to improve any
(00:27):
relationship that matters to yourbusiness, your career and your life.
All right.
Here's Diane.
I am Diane Ravenscroft and you arelistening to the coach approach podcast.
The coach approach is a mindset and askill set with steps to achieve, avoid and
celebrate along the way towards responsiveleadership and improved relationships.
(00:50):
Today, I will share stories about realpeople who did and did not recognize
the importance of words to lead, engage,inspire, and motivate their teams.
I have attended so many meetingswith different kinds of leaders and
individuals that I can now offer the coachapproach podcasts to provide listeners
opportunities, to learn and grow throughother people's stories, other people's
(01:14):
decisions, other people's mistakes,missed opportunities and success.
These podcasts offer moments toconsider other people's perspectives
and explore our thinking aboutleadership and communication.
Working in the field of organizationalpsychology has created numerous
opportunities for me to observeresearch and see patterns in attitudes,
(01:38):
aptitudes, and behaviors, especiallycommunication and leadership styles.
After 20 years, enough time haspassed that I get to write and share
about situations and scenarios.
You can benefit from my experiences,my expertise, and the lessons learned
from numerous hardworking people wantingto contribute in their workplaces.
(02:00):
I can tell these stories so thatnobody can detect a person or place.
And in the absence of non-disclosureagreements, I am free to focus
on describing the effectivenessof the coach approach from real
situations with great people.
Of course, I'll disguise identities.
At times I may single out certainprofessions that tend to attract people
(02:22):
with fixed attitudes, like optimismand pessimism, for example, but I will
do my best not to generalize today.
I will introduce you to atechie and a few engineers.
The cybersecurity leader referredto himself as having entered his
profession as an optimistic techie.
He explained that after several years inhis new leadership role, he had developed
(02:46):
a mindset grounded in hyper vigilance.
I asked how he would define this state.
He told me to picture a boxing ringand one boxer dodging hedging and
ducking while the other boxer wasincessantly pounding away at his head.
He felt he didn't relate to some of hisemployees, the dreamers, he called them.
(03:10):
He needed dreamers to innovateand develop new products.
And it was part of his role as chieftechnology officer to inspire the team
by leading weekly meetings and hearingfrom everyone, the optimistic techie.
Remember, that's how hedescribed himself, explained his
perspective and feelings this way.
Quote.
Remember, I ask people if I can writedown what they say, when it's striking
(03:36):
quote, imagine needing to create loftygoals, to inspire collaboration around
division and strategy two hours a week.
When most of your day, every day isabout avoiding the potential next bad
virus waiting to attack your network.
He continued, I feel like asuperhero most of the time, and
(03:56):
my people are my superpowers.
We're protecting people from theharm, bad actors wanna inflict
on our systems and organization.
And we need to find new ways to keepour customers safe all the time.
I need to figure out a way tocall back the dreamer in me.
He said that was first drawn to it.
(04:17):
Then I might be able to relateto my team again, end quote,
and you know who you are.
I hope I did your statements justice,as I repeated your powerful words.
These very challenges stated succinctly bythis chief technology officer are exactly
why the coach approach is relevant.
(04:40):
The coach approach is ultimatelyabout transformational communication.
This leader had all the elementsof an inspirational speaker.
And I told him this yet, he lackedthe ability to see his talents
and natural aptitude to encouragebased on feeling pretty burned out.
A lot of the time he wasburdened, he was bogged down.
(05:03):
He felt buried under theweight of the responsibility.
The key was that he believedhis people were his superpowers.
Did you notice that with thisgenuine appreciation for his team
expressing his gratitude for theirdiligence in descriptive ways became
his weekly meeting, starting point.
(05:25):
He started to learn the shift to seekhigher ideals and fix his thinking.
Week after week, he built trustand camaraderie by going around
the table, pointing out howeach person made a difference.
He pointed out the ways they handledreal situations with finesse.
(05:49):
He also started collecting anonymouscomments left in the break room
and read emails from customers andcoworkers out loud in the meetings.
These became talking points thatwere used to troubleshoot challenges
and think of new ways to tackleincoming, known, and unknown threats.
You have to anticipate unknowns inhis and other businesses slowly.
(06:11):
It became natural to rise above thedaily grind to notice the small ways
people were making a big difference.
Someone came up with the idea ofcreating a banner, having t-shirt.
And using the phrase.
Thank you for all the ways youare making a big difference.
Initially, it was thank you forall the small ways you were making
(06:31):
a big difference, but this leaderdidn't want to sound like he was
undermining or minimizing effort.
What was crucial for morale that I took anote of was that any total money spent on
these trinkets, he called them like thet-shirts was also given as a bonus or by
choice matched as a donation to charity.
(06:53):
Whatever the employee preferred, not asingle t-shirt, but the entire spend.
So if the total of theirmotivational items was, let's say
$900 each person received or coulddonate all or some of $2,700.
How did I jump from nine to 2,700 whilethe leader wanted to convey that each
(07:15):
person's contribution was worth not oneor two, but three times the investment
not only was recognition now, a priority,but rewards, including financial rewards,
the optics of spending money on stuff.
When people could use a financial rewardwas not lost on this leader, he became
sensitive and attuned to what matteredmost to his people because he asked them.
(07:41):
Affirmation is transformationalawareness is transformational.
If using affirmation anddescriptive praise is your norm.
You know what I mean?
If people trust you and believeyou, you will have a tremendous
impact with your descriptive praise.
If you're uncertain, whetherpeople will trust and believe
(08:01):
you, the coach approaches for you.
Descriptive praise is powerful asit is an opportunity to teach what
was done well, and also create aconversation that feels affirming.
It's a learned skill, and of courseis a significant aspect of the coach
approach through praise stated sincere.
The chief technology officersteam was becoming more receptive
(08:25):
to feedback and less resistant tocorrection through affirmation.
People still needed instructed andguided of course, but with the momentum
building through loyalty and trust,people were becoming more willing to
share their biggest challenges withoutfear of repercussions or criticism,
the gotcha factor disappeared.
(08:46):
They added business continuity strategiesto their product lines and services.
And even turnover was reduced.
The business expanded its market shareand was poised to scale their services.
The leadership team adoptedthe descriptive praise
approach with their teams.
And as far as everyone is concerned, thecompany is set up for future success.
(09:08):
You can measure these thingsand I can show you how.
Remember, this individual's significantchange that he wondered if it would
be small, that felt daunting at thetime, the superhero who didn't relate
to dreamers, he wanted to find ways tounderstand and connect with his dreamers.
(09:30):
He did it, they did it findingopportunities to connect in meaningful
ways, spread thoughtfulness andinnovation through the entire company.
To me.
This is both inspirational andtransformational, attentive,
supportive leaders who affirmand cheer us on are quite rare.
If you work for somebody who looksfor opportunities to be descriptive in
(09:52):
their praise, you are very fortunate.
I hope you know that this cautiousit leader was a breath of fresh air.
He was ready to explore thetraits, steps and challenges
required of the coach approach.
One of the first lessons oftransformational communication is the
awareness that people come to workfor the most part, wired a certain
(10:17):
way as they tackle challenges andopportunities to yield results.
If you work for someone wiredto acknowledge your strengths,
you might not be able to imaginereporting to someone who views your
aspirational outlook as an impediment.
I've seen this all or nothing mindsetdiscourage the most resilient person.
(10:39):
The first time I met someone who viewedan aspirational outlook as an impediment,
I had to ask them to repeat themselves.
I literally remember losing mycomposure and saying, what did you say?
Normally, as a coach,you stay fairly composed.
There are guidelines through theinternational coaching Federation.
There are ethicalguidelines and competencies.
(11:03):
And I remember the day a leadersaid to me that these people were
toxically positive and he viewed theiraspirational outlook as an impediment.
And I said, what did you say as opposedto, could you explain that for me please?
Or something with more poise?
As I said, I've seen this allor nothing mindset discourage
(11:23):
the most resilient person.
As I introduce my coachapproach through these podcasts.
I want to emphasize that this modelof communication and leadership isn't
focused on trying to change attitudes,though, I will discuss attitude.
How could I not attitude canoften be permanent though.
And set early in life.
Attitude is often expressed as glass,half full thinking, the optimist
(11:47):
and glass half empty thinking.
The pessimist, the coach approachinstead is about improving aptitude.
Aptitude is about our capacity to learn.
Aptitude is changeable.
And as my French speaking, clientswould say, aptitude is malleable.
Love that word malleable.
When you, when you saymalleable, hold your hands.
(12:09):
As if you're sculpting withclay and you get the idea of how
aptitude can expand, one's thinkingto create endless possibilities.
A change in aptitude canproduce a change in results.
An aptitude for lifelong learningoffers potential to stay curious and
never stop learning, to challengeourselves an aptitude to resistance.
(12:33):
On the other hand, and reluctanceoffers skepticism and hesitation
hesitation to try new ways torelate or connect with people.
Aptitude, like attitude cango one way or the other.
When we tackle improving aptitudeattitude may just change.
The coach approach focuseson what's possible.
(12:54):
Excellent.
And uniquely an idea you may nothave heard before my excellence
of avoidance exception.
Yes.
Excellence of avoidance,this new kind of excellence.
I'll say it again.
Excellence through avoidance is alsoa key part of my coach approach.
(13:15):
When an exception is in place forhow to describe a typical vision.
I emphasize the importance ofachievement and aspirational statements,
these motivate and build trust.
But many years ago, I met people whosemission is to prevent and protect like
the chief technology officer we just met.
So I introduce you to a realisticengineer, his words so far,
(13:39):
you've met an optimistic techie.
Now meet a realistic engineer.
This leader's main job in a utilitycompany is not to poison people.
Remember he described himself as arealist and works basically with water.
So his main job is to notpoison people plain and simple.
(13:59):
That's what he told me.
I was invited to presentmanagement training.
So I asked for the missionstatement in advance to prepare
and customize the learning program.
Remember the days when not everybody hada website, it's really not that long.
The president of the utility companyshared the formal mission that
the public sees on their materialsthen quietly told me that the real
(14:21):
mission is not to poison people.
This is excellence throughavoidance, for sure.
A vision stated in negative termsunder any other circumstances might not
seem aspirational, but as the providerof clean water, I remain in complete
agreement that not poisoning people is awonderful vision to achieve and maintain.
(14:42):
Like other engineers who don't wantbridges to collapse or surgeons
who don't want anyone to die ontheir operating table, excellence
through avoidance is important.
So the next time you hear a visionstated in the negative, don't
write people off as negative greatpeople demonstrating resilience
like law enforcement professionalsneed to be careful out there.
(15:05):
Just like that statement onhill street, blues, that old.
TV sitcom.
We can be careful out there anddo our best by avoiding danger,
the coach approach mindset.
Doesn't judge the person for the wordsthey use to express their purpose
engineers in particular, look out forsafety and yes, that can sound negative.
(15:27):
The coach approach exists tomake sure if the way you describe
your words sounds negative.
People don't perceive you as such.
It can be subtle.
So here's some examples.
A passionate leader said, quote, I'm goingto show you how broken our system is.
End quote.
I'm going to show you howbroken our system is, depending
(15:49):
on who is in the room.
This leader committed to exactness andprecision may be appreciated for their
attention to detail and directness.
I am gonna show you howbroken our system is.
Now, put this person with individualsmore focused on harmony and wellbeing.
And listen again, I am going toshow you how broken our system is.
(16:15):
How do you perceive this person?
They came with solutions, but how do youperceive them learning to be measured
in our communication is an importantskill and ties closely to motivation
ties to stamina and overall wellbeing.
The coach approach is a meanstowards learning transformational
(16:35):
communication, and also notwriting people off for sounding
thorough or being problem solvers.
If I have a broken system, I wantsomebody to show me how broken my system
is and bring me the solutions to fix it.
As we adjust to ourlistener, we might ask.
(16:59):
In an organization that focuses,let's say on harmony and wellbeing,
we might ask, is this correct?
Instead of declaringoutright, this is a mistake.
I have been in meetings where harmonyand wellbeing is part of the culture.
Very high up on the culture.
People seek meaningful work, but thingsgo wrong in any organization in any team.
(17:26):
The person who came into themeeting declaring outright.
This is a mistake who knewthat money was being lost.
Who knew that revenue was leaving.
The organization was not wellreceived after some coaching, the
person reapproached met with peopleagain and said, I have noticed some
(17:47):
data presented the data and asked.
Is this correct by tailoring themessage to the people and the situation.
The listeners were much morereceptive, attentive, and engaged.
She got their attention by reframing.
The words seems pretty simple.
(18:10):
This is a mistake asopposed to is this correct?
One produces defensiveness, theother cooperation and engage.
As we learn to tailor our message topeople in situations, we become more
effective and responsive as leadersand as communicators because the
coach approach is about aptitude.
(18:31):
People focus on getting the most outof every relationship, particularly
through building meaningful connections.
The individual, whenasking is this correct?
As opposed to stating this is amistake built, meaningful connections.
My happy place is facilitating thesekinds of situations that have a positive
impact, a transformational impact.
(18:52):
In fact, and I have been fortunateto do this work through teaching
coaching curriculum, design andconsulting for more than two decades.
I have coached entrepreneursand sales people as well as
engineers and compliance officers.
Most often in finance, manufacturing,technology, and insurance,
what has remained consistent?
(19:14):
No matter the situation or context isthat most entrepreneurs and sales people
are wired, possibly hardwired moretowards accomplishment, achievement.
And what's possible that may notsurprise you didn't surprise me yet.
What did surprise me is this thinkingcan present a challenge for any go
(19:35):
getter who as an optimist at heartis possibly viewed as an obstacle.
To people wire differently towardscaution hesitation or hypervigilance.
Some of my cautious clients tell meoptimist sound, toxically, positive.
They sound unrealistic and full of.
Let's say hot air.
(19:55):
I can understand that.
See how easy it is to judge the personby their words, if this happens.
And I think it does, it's even moreimportant to consider the what,
when, how and why of what we say.
I know it's easier said than done.
I know that's probably a pun, but it'strue because in the high pace demanding
environments where my clients work, one ofmy roles is to remind leaders, to remember
(20:19):
the people amid the focus on productsand processes, especially in engineering
environments, manufacturing and financeprocess gets a lot of attention.
It's easy for the needs ofpeople to disappear when products
and process needs attention.
The more intense, the demands of processimprovement and product development.
(20:39):
The more likely people'sneeds become ignored.
The coach approach helps break downall or nothing thinking to expose
and explore scarcity mindset.
A scarcity mindset will discouragedemotivate or even demoralize
the people wired to hope, helpand achieve in every workplace.
We know there's a culture.
Some people set a tone of a sense ofurgency, which can create all kinds of
(21:04):
situations that inspire or inflame people.
Some people love a sense of urgency,keeps them moving, keeps them going,
gives the momentum and traction.
Other people sense of urgencycreates panic and uncertainty and
feels very demanding and oppressive.
Many workplaces are seeking to createcommunities where everyone is welcome
(21:26):
and feels a sense of belonging.
I don't know what you would describeyour workplace as, I don't know how
you would describe your culture,but every workplace has one.
As a coach, I invite peopleto ask more of themselves.
I also recognize and relate to howdifficult it may be for leaders to
shift their mindset, to relate toand connect with everyone they serve.
(21:49):
Observant leaders recognize thatmorale suffers when the pressures
of work are allowed to foster anegative culture, observant leaders
recognize that morale suffers.
When the pressures of work are allowedto foster a negative culture, feeling
overwhelmed can start to overridea person's capacity to think big.
(22:12):
I have been there.
I'm guessing you have.
The chief technology officer andengineers learned how to share concerns
and potential in a way that conveyedassurance trust and support these learned
skills, prevent a scarcity mindset.
Should a scarcity mindset.
(22:33):
Start to creep into thinking overtime, a negative outlook, blurs,
potential and possibilities.
Fade away.
I speak from experience.
Don't allow, please a scarcity mindsetto creep into thinking, because
over time, a negative outlook willblur potential and possibilities
will fade away in stark contrast.
(22:55):
Children are curious and have atremendous capacity for imagination.
You often hear visionaries speakabout the importance of innovation.
I think innovation is simplyimagination paired with new ways of
creating something out of nothing.
I want to make an impact by bringingback curiosity, imagination,
(23:19):
inspiration, and motivation to work.
Let's be HAPPI again.
Let's be happier again.
Let's enjoy our workmore to be competitive.
We must have stamina.
And if you love what you do with peoplewho share the same commitment and passion.
We will enjoy our work again.
What is that phrase?
If you love what you do, you'd doit for nothing, something like that.
(23:42):
So let's make it happen.
That's one of the goals of thecoach approach working together and
enjoying the work in each other.
It's possible.
I've seen it.
Next time we meet, I will share morestories and anecdotes based on real
people applying the coach approach.
I am Diane.
(24:03):
Ravenscroft see you next time.
Thanks for listening.
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