February 10, 2025 • 35 mins
We revisit the iconic scents of yesteryears, like the unforgettable Van Cleef & Arpels Tsar from 1989. Step into the sensory-rich world of the early '90s department stores, and reminisce with us about classic fragrances such as Tommy for Men by Tommy Hilfiger. Our journey isn't just about the scents; it's about the stories and emotions they evoke, from our own personal connections to an amusing encounter with Richard, a coffee shop owner who was captivated by Percival.
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Episode Transcript
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Ryan (00:03):
hello, ladies and gentlemen.
Myke (00:05):
The time is now upon us for the cologne podcast with
mike and ryan and we're two bestfriends.
Ryan (00:12):
We're going on a fragrance journey, smelling vintage
fragrances and giving youuneducated opinions guys, I have
talked about this fragranceprobably since the dawn of this
podcast, oh God, and I alwayswould refer to you know it's one
of the two I usually do.
Tommy Boy is one of them.
(00:33):
I was like that kind of remindsme of Tommy Boy, right, tommy
Boy, I'm sorry.
Myke (00:40):
Wait, it is, isn't, it, Is it.
Is it Tommy Boy?
You'd say like Tommy sport orsomething like that, tommy for
men, tommy hill figure you knowhill tommy boy I love it.
Ryan (00:52):
Tommy hill figure sounds gonna it's hold on.
I gotta know, I gotta know holdon leave it, toddy boy, oh my
god come on.
It's not tommy boy, it's to'sTommy for men by Tommy Hilfiger
oh baby.
But today's actually is another.
Every once in a while I smell afragrance and it takes me back
(01:12):
to this.
It reminds me of very early 90s.
This came out in 1989.
Oh, taylor Swift time.
Is that a year that she has oneof her Dumbass songs?
Myke (01:22):
No, that was the year she was born and the name of an
album oh, she named one of heralbums 1989?
.
Uh-huh, okay, don't act likethat's not cool, bro.
Yeah, it's totally cool.
Ryan (01:36):
But, yeah, we would smell some fragrances and they would
remind me of this Early 90s,walking in the mall, walking
through Dillillards to get tothe main food court area, and
this was one of the fragrancesthat at the time was sold.
I remember my dad purchasing itand I would use his fragrance
bottle so reveal the fragrance.
What are we smelling today?
What's this vintage fragrancethat one of our friends of the
(01:58):
podcast, one of our patreonsyeah, jonathan bleep sent in?
Okay, what are the fans goingto listen to us smell today?
Myke (02:07):
well, if you closed your eyes and then opened up your
spotify app and for some reasonyou didn't see the title of this
episode, I forget that, sorry.
Or maybe it just came on rightafter you're listening to joe
rogan or something, because youknow we're contemporaries with
him.
Okay, we're gonna be smellingvan cleef and our pals czar yeah
(02:32):
, god, this is a long timecoming.
Man, I'm fucking yeah, baby, I'mpumped.
Let me tell you what geraniumwith a j on free grantica has to
say about it that's got to beyour new user handle on whatever
game we play online together.
Okay, you're talking aboutMarvel Rivals.
Ryan (02:52):
Oh yeah.
Myke (02:52):
You're obsessed.
Yes, he says.
This smells like a medicinecabinet from 30 years ago.
Ryan (02:59):
Okay, that's it.
Huh, that's all he says.
That's the knowledge.
Geraniums dropping huh, he'sdropping them.
Geraniums Okay, that's it.
Huh, that's all he says.
That's the knowledge.
Geraniums dropped in huh, he'sdropping them geraniums.
Okay, well, you know, we'll see.
We'll see.
I feel like that got you alittle feisty.
I just remember it being good.
I really loved it growing up.
Does that make you mad, ryan?
Myke (03:19):
Mad enough to kill?
Ryan (03:22):
No, okay Thought we had them, folks.
But before we get in today'sfragrance because I definitely
want to get into it we got togive you our one night stand
(03:45):
review of percivalyan afterlaying in bed, once again with
parfums de marley, hmm, baby,yeah and soaking up their scent,
uh-huh, and then also passingit off to another person in real
life.
That's right, richard, who losttheir ever-loving mind?
Myke (04:05):
Yes, we go in, which, by the way, hey, shout out, kojo
Roastery.
Maybe we need to connect youtwo.
We've got a local coffee shopthat we always go to.
They're always hooking us upwith the tastiest brews.
We do powwows there, we do, yeah, we're you know, business
planning and stuff for the dayjob, and we'll throw this guy
(04:28):
some fragrances because he'sinto colognes and things like
that too.
So we like to bring him adecant.
If we got a you know a bottlewith a little bit left, we'll
slide him some, and so over timewe've been giving him different
fragrances.
Yeah, and just the last time wewent in, I had my because I
talked about it on the episode Ihad the rest of my travel
atomizer of it.
(04:48):
I said I'm gonna give this torichard and he took it and he
took the cap off and smelled theatomizer and he's like, oh, hey
, so then he started showingsome of the ladies behind the
counter and they're like oh, Ireally like that, and he sprayed
it on and fast forward.
We get our drinks, we get weboth get avocado toast with, you
know, the fried egg on top andhe comes and has to see.
Ryan (05:09):
I'm laughing because I feel like we said really I don't
know booze, I don't know dude,go ahead yeah I mean, you know,
sometimes we get a breakfastburrito, but today, you know, we
had the you know avocado toast.
Myke (05:21):
Yeah, and he comes, sits down beside us and he says, guys
, this is the best one you'veever brought in I mean, he
really laminated that.
Yeah, he was like whatever youguys gotta do to slide me a full
bottle of this bad boy.
Let's just say you'll be hookedup, wink, wink, yeah, with all
the caffeine your body canhandle, and we said we'll figure
(05:42):
that out for you.
Yeah, he's a great guy.
We, we love going to the coffeeshop, so he loved it.
Best thing he's ever smelled.
That's what he said.
Yeah, what does?
Ryan (05:50):
mike.
Think though, after saying thatI think it's great.
Myke (05:55):
I think it is.
I think it should be highlyconsidered if you're a guy and
you want something that is verywearable, very mass appealing
but has more personality thanyour just stereotypical designer
fragrance out there.
Yeah, you've got to try thatone.
Okay, I like it.
I've got to wear it a few timesjust from the travel atomizer.
(06:17):
I enjoy it.
Is it me 100%?
Maybe not, but it's pretty damngood.
Ryan (06:24):
I think your summer of it is good.
I remember being like it smellsgood, but I wasn't like overtly
impressed just because it isvery safe.
It is a little notch above, uh,your typical designer by the
end of the episode.
Myke (06:39):
You were loving it though it did get pretty good.
Ryan (06:41):
And when he brought it to the table, because I hadn't
smelled in a minute and I'm justsmelling coffee aromas, it's
clearing, cleansing the palate,you know, yeah, it does get
pretty good.
And when he brought it to thetable because I hadn't smelled a
minute and I'm just smellingcoffee aromas, it's clearing,
cleansing the palate, you know,yeah, it does smell pretty good.
And I took it back from youknow me I was like snatched.
I was like, yeah, let me smellit again.
So it does smell pretty good.
Myke (06:55):
You're like, oh god, that is good.
But you know what ruined it forus though, what we said.
You know what kind of lives youknow in this same cul-de-sac?
Ryan (07:11):
yeah it's like there's dudes are two houses on the same
cul-de-sac but one's reallytaken care of I mean one's
really, really nice, and that isferris by Kajal no bullshit.
They do smell similar, butFerris is like way clackery.
Myke (07:30):
It's yeah, it's way stronger and it's just got more
going on to it.
And this is what happened.
We went into the little editingroom and we're working on some
video projects for a client andyou're smelling it and you're
saying, oh my God, I'm reallyliking this.
And I go you know what I likebetter, Ferris?
And you go, oh, let me,actually, let me go spray it.
(07:50):
You come back into the Colognepodcast studio area and you
spray two tester strips and whenyou walk back, you hand me one
and I smell it and I go that'sFerris, and that is leagues
above.
Ryan (08:02):
They do smell very similar , but that one does fucking
clown, it does it even better.
Myke (08:08):
It's sick dude.
So I feel like if you're goingniche route but you still want
that vibe and you can get yourhands on some Ferris, might be
worth doing that over Percival.
I hate to like put these headto head, yeah, but I kind of
feel like if you're gonna spendyour hard-earned money, people,
we're gonna give you the realtruth yeah, that's the short and
(08:34):
skinny of it.
Ryan (08:36):
I really do think you summarize it great.
It is really a good scent, verysafe, but I don't mean like
it's just generic, it's notgeneric generic.
No, it smells really good and Iwould say both that and even
though we didn't review it then,but both that and Ferris are
safe.
I would definitely give Parfumsde Marly the edge on being a
little bit more safer because itis a little bit more subdued
(08:56):
and not so yes, yeah, not asloud, yeah, a little bit softer,
yeah For sure, probably alittle bit closer to designer,
even absolutely.
Myke (09:08):
But ferris has something going on where it.
It meets the criteria for thatsafe office wear, but it also
has a little bit morepersonality and almost a little
bit more like um, let me thinkof the word jenny jacquard is
that the word?
Ryan (09:22):
no, keep thinking mike.
Uh, not mature todd play thejeopardy music over this why is
my mind?
Myke (09:32):
probably because I only slept two hours last night.
That's why you're coming inwith all this energy.
You're like delirium mike, yeah, and I told you I started to
drink a energy drink and then itmade my freaking lips freak out
, yeah, and I was like, am Idying anyway?
It just does something likemore classically, yeah,
masculine well, there you go.
Ryan (09:52):
It's a sample to, I guess, a buy for the right person for
sure, but today I'm ready to geton with it.
I've got to smell it.
I've been, yeah, hungering forthis fragrance for years.
Yeah, van Cleef and Arpels czar.
You do dibs man, god, jonathan,bleep you bastard.
(10:17):
I am so excited for this.
God, let's do it.
I'm kind of scared to spray.
I don't want to be let down.
Myke (10:24):
Should we do vips of the podcast, because jonathan bleep
is definitely in there?
What do you mean by vip likejust people that have, like have
really.
Ryan (10:33):
You know, they've gone above and beyond but I mean,
when you say vip, what's it meanto them?
Like they, they coming on theshow, like I don't know.
Myke (10:41):
I mean, I don't know that.
Yeah, maybe I was just sayingthey need some sort of
recognition.
For sure, we're out thereloving you guys and you're
loving us back, jesus ryan howmany was that enough for me to
wear?
Ryan (11:02):
god, she's just as beautiful as I remember.
No, this is you, this isfucking me, oh god dude, I'm
gonna smell like a 55 year oldman.
Myke (11:13):
I fucking love this shit.
I feel like I've got liverspots already popping up on my
body when does that start tohappen?
Ryan (11:23):
I'm getting worried.
I'm getting up there.
Myke (11:24):
No, we've already agreed that you look at least a few
years younger than your actualbiological age.
Ryan (11:32):
What do you smell with this?
And very briefly I will say, onmy skin I do get a little bit
of the medicine thing going onthat he was talking about.
Myke (11:42):
Geranium thing going on, that he was talking about
geranium.
To me this smells like you know, I'm six years old and I'm
tooling around in papa'sfragrances.
Ryan (11:54):
Oh yeah, maybe he's got like a little drawer, got a
shaving kit in there.
Yeah, got a little likeaftershave bomb or something in
there.
Myke (12:02):
Well, that's kind of the thing is.
I don't't know about you guys,but my grandpa never had a
fragrance with an atomizer on it.
It was always the splash on.
Yeah, he was also an asshole.
Just didn't want you guys tothink I was remembering fondly
of that Bastard of a man.
Ryan (12:42):
Oh God, you guys, to think I was remembering fondly of
that bastard of a man.
Oh shit, it does have a weirdlike vitamin smell at the base
of this on top.
It's like it's got a sting inthe air.
You know, not a stink, a sting,it has like a has a little bite
.
Yeah, yeah, it's got some teethto it.
Very, uh, old school masculine.
This is definitely somethingyou fucking just got done
shaving and you sprayed yourskin all over and it fucking set
you on fucking fire.
Dude, it's a lot, but it's alot right now.
(13:04):
It is great, but you walked outand you were a fucking man I
mean, I feel feel pretty manlyright now.
Myke (13:12):
Yeah, I feel something, I feel older, for sure god, I love
it, I fucking love it this, ohboy, this is some.
You think this isn't for themodern era.
It it depends on the person.
Really.
Ryan (13:25):
Yeah, you think, walk in me and you work at a fucking
place.
You're Xeroxing your ass,cheeks and shit.
I walk by, you smell this.
Would you be upset with it?
Myke (13:35):
If you were wearing it, yeah, I'd be like did you
inherit your granddad'saftershave?
That's all he left you?
Huh?
No, I mean, I smell it and it'slike it would have to be an
older gentleman I don't thinkthis is that.
Ryan (13:54):
Do you think it's loud?
Is this like overwhelming toyou?
Myke (13:58):
I don't know, maybe not, maybe it's not just like choking
me out, but I still feel likeit's got some clackers to it.
Ryan (14:05):
Oh it does, but it's like for me, as far as like the
loudness, like punchiness, Ifeel like it's like a three out
of ten, really yeah.
Myke (14:12):
I mean, this is definitely no like Lamar Noir.
Ryan (14:15):
No, okay, so you just mentioned Lamar Noir and we just
talked about Gajal a second agowhen we first did the episode a
while back for kajal home 2.
Yeah, and I have some at thehouse, I need to bring it here.
Home 2 is the modernizedversion of this to me.
Oh, okay, it is so fucking good.
(14:35):
Forbis loved it.
I'm sorry that I'm bringingthem up up again, but it is what
it is, but I'm telling you they.
They are similar.
So I was not.
I feel vindicated.
I guess what I'm trying to get.
I feel vindicated that I'vesaid that it smells similar
because they do.
Myke (14:51):
Oh man, that's like saying the Thing and Hateful Eight are
similar.
They are, but it's not likeeven that close to me.
Ryan (15:00):
I mean, I feel like Especially modern, I feel like
that does that way better thanthis.
Myke (15:07):
Oh yeah, om2 is sweeter.
You wore it the other day topool Smells fucking good.
And about 30 minutes in I waslike, oh my God, I forgot how
badass that fragrance was.
It smells incredible.
Should we just rename thisepisode?
Yeah, kajal Spotlight, orsomething like that, probably.
Let me tell you how much Forbusloved it.
(15:30):
He went through the bottle sofast we never even got to get
the bottle back from him.
Really, yeah, it was the firstone to go through and then
cedraboise after that.
Ryan (15:38):
Guys, god damn.
I will say there is something alittle bit more subdued of this
.
It's, but it's also somasculine.
This is how I feel like men'sfragrances should smell like to
me now, even now, dude huh,there's a certain muskiness to
it, but not over the top, likeprobably.
(15:59):
You know georgio beverly hillsfrom back in the day that one's
a fucking nuclear power plant.
Yeah, I feel like this is justlike a home generator outside,
but it's fucking reliable, youknow I don't want to give this
fragrance like the people'selbow.
Myke (16:13):
Yeah, be strong.
It smells dated.
Ryan (16:16):
To me this smells like 89 I mean, to some people that's a
good.
You know, it's a good year 89yeah, it is.
Myke (16:26):
A lot of icons showed up around them.
Some of them were just a weelittle boy in 89.
Not even a full year old Justwalking around peeing in his
pants, being neglected.
That's not funny, but you knowthat's the dark humor that we've
(16:50):
come to appreciate yeah, let megive you the price and
popularity of this fragrancereally quick.
Ryan (16:57):
Okay price you're looking at about 600 fucking dollars for
100 ml this, if you find itstill out there.
So this juice that jonathanbleep gave us, this is probably
(17:17):
50 bucks worth of juice righthere and we're gonna use every
drop.
At least I will, I know youwill.
Myke (17:22):
I'm already you're laced up.
Ryan (17:24):
You're already.
It's yours popularity.
I mean it is old, it came outin 89.
Not a lot of people are goingto go track that down and leave
a room, but I, you know,shockingly enough, about 1500
people did.
That's like a 4.15 out of5 okay, so pretty good.
Yeah, I mean I see why this isso fucking good.
Myke (17:43):
I wish I had a counter for every time you've referenced
this over the course of thecatalog of our podcast.
Ryan (17:49):
God, it probably over 50 times it has to be.
Myke (17:53):
You got so sick of me mentioning it to you, and then I
don't even think we did anepisode on it.
Ryan (17:59):
I've got about that much left in the bottle.
We need to come back and do afucking thing.
Damn, you've been wearing it.
I wear the fuck out of thatfragrance.
Really, I still think it'sgreat.
In fact, somebody in ourPatreon if you're not a Patreon,
go be one but somebody in ourPatreon actually mentioned Tommy
.
They just bought a bottle of itand they were like this
seriously smells good even fortoday, and I have to agree yeah,
very fucking good there'sanother bottle.
Myke (18:20):
that remember when you were like what have you ever
done for me, mike?
Oh yeah, that was early on too.
Ryan (18:26):
Sometimes I give you half my hamburger or something.
Myke (18:29):
Yeah, no, you don't.
When have you done that?
Closest thing is we split quesosometimes when Mexican food
Tex-Mex.
I watch you sometimes and I'mlike oh, he's just throwing that
shit in the garbage.
No, I've shared those chickenwings the last time.
Oh, that's true, you did.
Yeah, we're like an old marriedcouple.
Really.
I'm like dude, I can't eat.
(18:49):
All of you Want some of this,and that's like my favorite part
of the day.
I just wait for it.
I'm like a dog.
I just sit and I'm just perchedup on the table waiting.
I've already eaten all my foodand I just watch and pray.
Ryan (19:05):
I will say on the tester strip, this definitely does
smell dated.
Yeah, man, it's almost like youjust stumbled into an attic in
a way.
Myke (19:14):
Oh, no, it smells better than that, I don't know.
To me, though, that label couldbe Old Spice, Brute, Really
Royal Copenhagen, or whatever.
You need to do one on that too.
Really Royal Copenhagen, orwhatever.
You need to do one on that too.
I feel like you know PacoRabanne, poor home from back in
the day.
Yeah, you know 80s.
To me that was just what they.
(19:36):
They all smelled, kind ofsimilar to this.
Ryan (19:48):
You know what's sad is, all my life I thought Van Cleef
and Arpels had some type ofconnection to God.
Who's the famous spaghettiwestern actor?
Something Van Cleef?
Oh, I don't know, I don't thinkthey are, though I don't think
they are in the slightest, isn'tthat kind of wild Founder?
Was Alfred Van Cleef?
Definitely not the same fuckingguy.
By the way, I want to bringthis up.
I mean, it's small details here, but I had to because it's uh
kind of hilarious.
Perfumer how do you pronouncethat?
Felipe bostoni or whatever?
(20:09):
Yeah, sure, okay, I'm so sorry.
Felipe, uh, perfumer, felipeboston, I think, is the name.
Okay, he hasn't really made alot of, like you know, home runs
, right, he hadn't made a lot ofstuff out there.
He's made a couple things.
I don't know of him.
I don't either.
This was his most popularfragrance, by the way.
Makes sense.
Second most popular fragrance,though, is this one oriflame
(20:32):
freya.
And look at this fucking bottlefor this thing what is that
nonsense?
Myke (20:41):
right, and it's a feminine fragrance and, let me tell you
it, it looks like you'd find itin a sock drawer somewhere.
Ryan (20:48):
It looks like a fucking vibrator with a safety pin.
Yeah, like you pull that thingout first and it just starts.
Do the crank up sound?
You do.
It makes me laugh so much.
Myke (21:02):
He really just did that.
You got to do the motion, yeah,yeah, and it goes kaboom.
Ryan (21:12):
He should have went really all in.
You got to give him the fewcord pulls and then the full rev
.
Myke (21:19):
I need to work on my like, where it's like flooded and
won't turn over.
You're just over there yankingyour chain.
Ryan (21:30):
So many times.
By the way, one of the playersand uh, marvel rivals that
happened to accompany my teamlast night that was a very good
player actually and his name wasyurkin my johnson and then he
went off into the sunset.
I never saw him again.
Oh man, don't you hate whenthat happens.
Myke (21:47):
Yeah, it's kind of dumb.
Ryan (21:50):
You've kind of mentioned it.
We'll gloss over it.
You think this is for an olderperson.
You already felt like you weregetting liver spots coming up as
soon as you smelled this.
Myke (21:57):
Yes, for sure when your chest hair starts getting gray
in it.
I that like gives me someexistential sort of dread Really
.
Oh yeah, because I'm like youlook really damn old when you
got gray in like your body hair.
Ryan (22:16):
God, you know the most random thing.
I went and got a haircut theother day.
Yeah, and it's one of our localhaircut country town.
Oh, I haven't seen the.
Do I mean you're?
Myke (22:26):
seeing it kind of yeah, he's wearing a hat, if that
gives you guys any sort ofconfidence.
First of all, I was reallyhappy with the hair.
Ryan (22:32):
Oh okay, I really was shocker.
Uh, and she's a nice young lady, I go in there every once in a
while and she'll cut my hair.
She's cut pretty mucheverybody's hair my family but
uh, she hadn't seen me in awhile.
This is this same haircut.
By the way, she hadn't seen meforever.
Yeah, and she's cutting on myhair and stuff and she's just
like, oh, you know, I ain't everseen that before.
(22:54):
On you right there, thatfucking thing growing up.
I'm like, yeah, I've had thatmole there for a while there.
Oh, and it just made me reallyself-conscious.
Myke (23:01):
Really Did she say you ought to get that looked at?
No, she was like you got adermatologist you can go to.
Ryan (23:07):
she did kind of say that actually, oh, and you know, the
night, the nice southern way itwasn't she wasn't being rude by
she's like bless your heart yeah, she was.
She wasn't being rude, she wasjust like oh, you know, I've cut
your hair for fucking 20 years.
Never seen that.
Myke (23:20):
Yeah you might be dying.
She's like, yeah, we'll do anice little fade here.
That could be skin cancer, andas we gradually go up, we'll put
a two on top and we'll it'spretty much how that whole thing
yeah for sure have a great dayhon I love southern people.
Ryan (23:41):
Yeah, me too.
Myke (23:42):
Seriously they're, they're seriously you can't tell if
they love you or hate you andit's not like how the media
spends everything.
Ryan (23:48):
I promise you it's not all like this crazy shit here.
It's pretty hometown and cool,but yeah.
So you think this is olderpeople or older gentlemen?
Hold on, I got to rewind for asecond.
Myke (23:59):
I love the difference between because I lived in
Boston as well yeah, when youlive down here in Texas, you
feel like everyone loves youAbsolutely.
And I had some when I lived inin boston, had some family come
up and they visited andliterally they thought everybody
was about to get into a fightup there because you just think
(24:19):
everybody hates you, yeah, butthen they'll like, they'll hug
it out and laugh and now youknow that's just it.
There's just a different typeof, you know, like camaraderie.
That happens, yeah, when Ilived okay, so when I lived in
colorado, every time I'd likewalk, pop.
You know, here down south it'sjust a different type of
camaraderie that happens, yeah,okay.
Ryan (24:31):
So when I lived in Colorado, every time I'd walk
past here down south.
Look, it is what it is.
It's an unwritten rule.
You walk by somebody hey, how'sit going?
Yeah, you're doing all right.
Hey, how's it going today, sir,ma'am?
You open doors, yada, yada,yada.
Yeah, up there is in the kind ofgrand junction area, but it was
(24:52):
like people just did not wantto have the time of day with you
.
They just could not.
You could say something andthey would just walk right past.
They're just in their own world, yeah, and it's like they
almost felt like the best time Iever did that, though, I was in
glenwood springs, it was, itjust snowed, you know, it's
fucking cold.
And I walked by this guy aboutmy same age and I was with a
young lady at the time and we'relike just like enjoying the
making out.
Yeah, we're walking, we're notwalking and making out, but
(25:13):
we're walking together.
And I'm like, hey, how's itgoing, sir?
And he just ignored me.
And you know me, I'm verycenter cross, like fucking
asshole, you know.
Yeah, but as soon as he walkedby me and he ignored me, he
fucking bit it, dude, he hit.
He hit a patch of fucking ice.
Dude instant karma dude.
He looked like goddamn goofydude.
(25:35):
It was fucking nuts.
And then I felt kind of bad forhim because it was.
Myke (25:39):
It was pretty brutal oh man, I think it's like.
Down south everybody's likedogs.
You know, a dog's always happyto see you, no matter who you
are.
You know they're like.
And up north is kind of likethey're like cats, you know,
yeah, they'll.
They kind of do their own thing.
Occasionally they'll be liketerrible cat impression.
(26:02):
Well, I hate cats so I don'tspend a lot of time studying
them.
I avoid them at all costs.
Oh God, there was some emperorthat did some sort of decree
against cats.
They literally exported all thecats out of the country and
then plagues arose because ofall the rats.
(26:23):
Yeah, I was about to say that'sprobably what happened, and
they got their ass kicked bysome plagues.
Ryan (26:30):
Briefly, really quick.
I got to tell you this thenotes on this thing.
I don't even know if I evenwant to read it.
There's a fucking million notes, do you feel?
Myke (26:38):
it's kind of like the uh ck1?
Oh dude, yeah the ck1 like 40of them.
Ryan (26:44):
God damn, you think you're like making some type of voodoo
concoction.
Myke (26:48):
You, you got so many things in here, you got freaking
toads, blood and the hair offthe Adam's apple of a hippo and
shit.
Ryan (26:59):
I think you need to just get two hours of sleep and
you're really bringing some agame on this.
Myke (27:03):
I'm going to crash so hard in a minute.
Ryan (27:07):
Especially after we get this lunch.
We're about to eat.
What are you going to get today?
Hamburger?
I'm going to get today,hamburger.
Myke (27:12):
Huh, you're going to get the my go chicken wings.
You liking the chicken wings?
Ryan (27:17):
there, I am Okay.
Are you going to skip it,sample it or buy it?
What are you going to do?
Ryan Jonathan Bleep, thank youfor sending this in.
You, lovely man.
Yeah, thank you for sendingthis in.
You, lovely man.
Yeah, thank you for sendingthis in.
As we said, he has been afriend of the podcast for the
longest time.
He's also been a Patreon forthe longest time and he has done
(27:39):
so much for this show.
He's one of many, but he hassent in so goddamn much.
Yeah, I feel like him andCynthia compete.
Yeah, like, keep and scoreExactly.
Thank you.
Uh, keep in score Exactly.
Um, thank you for sending thisin, cause this really is
nostalgic, wise for me.
This is such a good.
It's put me in a better moodtoday.
Myke (27:59):
Yeah, you were so excited Cause we were like, yeah, what
episode are we going to do?
And I was like man, we got thatczar and you're Dude instantly
I was like we're doing it.
Ryan (28:07):
I've been wanting to smell it forever, yeah.
Myke (28:09):
So, but answer the question, ryan, what are you
going?
Ryan (28:13):
to do.
It is going to be a sample.
Okay, because I just cannotjustify spending the price tag.
Yeah, $600 on 100 ml.
Myke (28:24):
No, it's just.
I have a sneaky suspicion thatour friend Jonathan didn't drop
that.
He's a man who knows the backalleys of the fragrance
community.
He may, and he seems to find apretty good deal.
Ryan (28:38):
But I will say for sampling, especially if you're
just like in the market, justkind of remember what it smells
like.
Definitely a sample, Bring itback.
Myke (28:53):
I do think it is a little dated, but that can be good too,
you know you know, yeah, itdepends on what vibe you're
trying to put out.
There's nothing wrong withhaving like a vintage vibe,
absolutely.
There's a musician that I likenamed spencer, sutherland, yeah,
and he has this very like bellbottomy.
You know, 60s, 70s, look, youknow, his music is very like
queen meets, I don't know bonjovi or something, and, uh, you
(29:18):
know, maybe he rocks somethinglike this.
Maybe you've got that sort ofpersonality that you want the
old school vibe.
I did that in college.
I was like wearing bell bottomsand shit.
Yeah, mainly because that wasthe clothes I had, because I had
hand-me-downs, literally mygrandmother made these.
I wore, you know, the polyesterbell bottoms like nearly every
day.
I, like my grandpa's old cowboyshirts and stuff had the huge
(29:42):
collar.
Ryan (29:43):
I look like john travolta you know, I was telling somebody
just recently I just feel likeI'm everybody I know that in my
close circle have had like atough life, oh yeah, yeah.
And then I I was telling themI've told you I feel kind of, I
feel guilty because like you're,like, because you had it so
good, yeah, was I a silver spoonbaby?
Do you think I was?
Myke (30:04):
oh yeah are you serious?
Really?
Yes, are.
Oh, I've heard stories of yourchildhood.
You know your parents would buyyou some expensive-ass jacket,
oh yeah, and you'd sell it forlike 20 bucks to just have
pocket money.
You'd probably spend $100 on it.
I don't know if.
Ryan (30:23):
I did that.
That makes you sound likeyou've got a drug problem.
Myke (30:27):
What the hell?
Yeah, dude, you're freaking,huffing white out and shit.
No, yeah, I would say on thespectrum you definitely lean
more towards spoiled for sure.
Ryan (30:41):
I definitely can say.
Anytime a new console came out,that was always like guaranteed
a Christmas gift, Damn dude ForChristmas.
Myke (30:49):
I'll tell you what I got.
I got my choice.
If I needed a new pair of shoesor a new gift Damn dude For
Christmas.
I'll tell you what I got.
I got my choice.
If I needed a new pair of shoesor a new pair of pants, I could
pick one.
I would get that, and then Iwould get apples, oranges and
pecans in like a stocking.
What?
Ryan (31:01):
the hell.
Yeah, I had it okay, chris.
Myke (31:05):
I'm like delving into the details I had like a BS what
they had Kiss come out and playin our living room.
I was talking with somebody onInstagram and they were like
you've hinted on the podcastthat you had like a wild
childhood, yeah.
(31:25):
And I was like yeah, it'spretty damn wild.
And they're like how wild areyou talking Like, is it like
crazy or is it like scary?
Ryan (31:34):
I'm like it's fucking nightmare fuel for some people
yeah, you told me something likeyeah, I would fucking hate that
.
Myke (31:40):
And you go one of two ways with it.
Yeah, my sister went thecomplete opposite way and I I
feel bad for her because, look,you know, part of it is like
nature versus nurture, sort of athing.
Yeah, you can't, you know, wehad the childhood that would
make you jump into the drugs andthe wild shit and and she went
(32:04):
heavy on it and I went theopposite way let me ask you this
really quick Do you findyourself cause you know growing
up like that where you'reheading to like cheese between
you know pants and walnuts.
Yeah, do you want to eat or doyou want to be clothed?
Ryan (32:20):
Yeah, you know my dad.
You know he lived with a familyof you know.
They were a family of nine,really, including the mom and
the dad and the kids, and theywere sharecroppers.
Uh-huh, dead broke, really,including the mom and the dad
and the kids, and they weresharecroppers dead broke.
My grandfather died without youknow actual plumbing in the
house, right?
Yeah, do you?
Because for my, for my dad andthat's where I feel like I mean
(32:42):
my childhood was good.
Yeah, is he?
He honestly kind of lived abovehis means in a way, but he
would constantly get thechildren everything they ever
wanted, because he did grow upin the same thing where it's
like he never got anything.
Myke (32:56):
Do you find yourself doing that by chance sometimes, where
you sure you do too much, youfeel like you gotta oh, I had to
dial it back for sure, yeah,with my kids, because at first
my grandmother did a great jobof instilling like, don't go to
haywire with money.
Yeah, they literally everythingwas cash.
They never.
(33:16):
They wouldn't even get a creditcard, yeah, or like a debit
card.
They just didn't believe it.
They were like, I mean, I don'tknow, that's some end of days
type shit.
You know the debit card.
And so, uh, she told me all thetime, never get a credit card,
never borrow money, you knowthat sort of a thing.
So luckily I didn't go like toowild but, yeah, if I had the
(33:39):
money, I was doing everything Icould for the kids.
I just wanted to.
I know I almost was likereliving my childhood through
them and I was like trying tocreate all these different
scenarios for them to where theyhad the best, all the memories
and seeing the characters andstuff.
So we went to the Disney on Iceand the PJ Masks live events.
(34:06):
We did all that stuff Becauseit's like I wanted them to like
and I think that has been thegreatest part of my life has
been watching their like.
It's awe and wonder, yeah, ofjust these things.
You know, seeing them soexcited, like the joy of a child
(34:28):
.
To me, there's nothing betterthan seeing that.
So, yeah, I've since dialed itback, you know.
But now that they're older, too, I'm trying to teach them to
manage their own money.
So it's like they're like oh, Iwant to get the battle pass,
but I also want these skins forfortnight.
And I'm like, well, you, youknow, this is how many v bucks
you got and you got to decidewhat do you want?
(34:50):
Because you know I try not tocave because they'll come.
Be like dad, you know, is thereanything, any work I can do
around the house?
You know, like they're alwayscoming up to me, I'm just
looking for work, dad, you knowwhat it's like.
I'm sure.
I'm sure we can find $10 worthof chores for you to do oh, god
(35:14):
bless.
It's hard out there, Dad.
Ryan (35:18):
Thank you, Jonathan Bleep, for being our dad today and
giving us something really coolto freaking smell on, we'd be
smelling like some daddies.
Myke (35:27):
We're going to go to lunch smelling like some straight up
old school dads.
Ryan (35:31):
I'm going to freaking love it dude.
I'm going to spray more of thisbefore I even leave.
You're just going to lace up onit.
I'm not going to go super lacedbecause I definitely want to be
able to come back to this andjust smell it from time to time.
Yeah, I'm definitely going toput on a couple more.
hello, ladies and gentlemen.
Myke (00:05):
The time is now upon us for the cologne podcast with
mike and ryan and we're two bestfriends.
Ryan (00:12):
We're going on a fragrance journey, smelling vintage
fragrances and giving youuneducated opinions guys, I have
talked about this fragranceprobably since the dawn of this
podcast, oh God, and I alwayswould refer to you know it's one
of the two I usually do.
Tommy Boy is one of them.
(00:33):
I was like that kind of remindsme of Tommy Boy, right, tommy
Boy, I'm sorry.
Myke (00:40):
Wait, it is, isn't, it, Is it.
Is it Tommy Boy?
You'd say like Tommy sport orsomething like that, tommy for
men, tommy hill figure you knowhill tommy boy I love it.
Ryan (00:52):
Tommy hill figure sounds gonna it's hold on.
I gotta know, I gotta know holdon leave it, toddy boy, oh my
god come on.
It's not tommy boy, it's to'sTommy for men by Tommy Hilfiger
oh baby.
But today's actually is another.
Every once in a while I smell afragrance and it takes me back
(01:12):
to this.
It reminds me of very early 90s.
This came out in 1989.
Oh, taylor Swift time.
Is that a year that she has oneof her Dumbass songs?
Myke (01:22):
No, that was the year she was born and the name of an
album oh, she named one of heralbums 1989?
.
Uh-huh, okay, don't act likethat's not cool, bro.
Yeah, it's totally cool.
Ryan (01:36):
But, yeah, we would smell some fragrances and they would
remind me of this Early 90s,walking in the mall, walking
through Dillillards to get tothe main food court area, and
this was one of the fragrancesthat at the time was sold.
I remember my dad purchasing itand I would use his fragrance
bottle so reveal the fragrance.
What are we smelling today?
What's this vintage fragrancethat one of our friends of the
(01:58):
podcast, one of our patreonsyeah, jonathan bleep sent in?
Okay, what are the fans goingto listen to us smell today?
Myke (02:07):
well, if you closed your eyes and then opened up your
spotify app and for some reasonyou didn't see the title of this
episode, I forget that, sorry.
Or maybe it just came on rightafter you're listening to joe
rogan or something, because youknow we're contemporaries with
him.
Okay, we're gonna be smellingvan cleef and our pals czar yeah
(02:32):
, god, this is a long timecoming.
Man, I'm fucking yeah, baby, I'mpumped.
Let me tell you what geraniumwith a j on free grantica has to
say about it that's got to beyour new user handle on whatever
game we play online together.
Okay, you're talking aboutMarvel Rivals.
Ryan (02:52):
Oh yeah.
Myke (02:52):
You're obsessed.
Yes, he says.
This smells like a medicinecabinet from 30 years ago.
Ryan (02:59):
Okay, that's it.
Huh, that's all he says.
That's the knowledge.
Geraniums dropping huh, he'sdropping them.
Geraniums Okay, that's it.
Huh, that's all he says.
That's the knowledge.
Geraniums dropped in huh, he'sdropping them geraniums.
Okay, well, you know, we'll see.
We'll see.
I feel like that got you alittle feisty.
I just remember it being good.
I really loved it growing up.
Does that make you mad, ryan?
Myke (03:19):
Mad enough to kill?
Ryan (03:22):
No, okay Thought we had them, folks.
But before we get in today'sfragrance because I definitely
want to get into it we got togive you our one night stand
(03:45):
review of percivalyan afterlaying in bed, once again with
parfums de marley, hmm, baby,yeah and soaking up their scent,
uh-huh, and then also passingit off to another person in real
life.
That's right, richard, who losttheir ever-loving mind?
Myke (04:05):
Yes, we go in, which, by the way, hey, shout out, kojo
Roastery.
Maybe we need to connect youtwo.
We've got a local coffee shopthat we always go to.
They're always hooking us upwith the tastiest brews.
We do powwows there, we do, yeah, we're you know, business
planning and stuff for the dayjob, and we'll throw this guy
(04:28):
some fragrances because he'sinto colognes and things like
that too.
So we like to bring him adecant.
If we got a you know a bottlewith a little bit left, we'll
slide him some, and so over timewe've been giving him different
fragrances.
Yeah, and just the last time wewent in, I had my because I
talked about it on the episode Ihad the rest of my travel
atomizer of it.
(04:48):
I said I'm gonna give this torichard and he took it and he
took the cap off and smelled theatomizer and he's like, oh, hey
, so then he started showingsome of the ladies behind the
counter and they're like oh, Ireally like that, and he sprayed
it on and fast forward.
We get our drinks, we get weboth get avocado toast with, you
know, the fried egg on top andhe comes and has to see.
Ryan (05:09):
I'm laughing because I feel like we said really I don't
know booze, I don't know dude,go ahead yeah I mean, you know,
sometimes we get a breakfastburrito, but today, you know, we
had the you know avocado toast.
Myke (05:21):
Yeah, and he comes, sits down beside us and he says, guys
, this is the best one you'veever brought in I mean, he
really laminated that.
Yeah, he was like whatever youguys gotta do to slide me a full
bottle of this bad boy.
Let's just say you'll be hookedup, wink, wink, yeah, with all
the caffeine your body canhandle, and we said we'll figure
(05:42):
that out for you.
Yeah, he's a great guy.
We, we love going to the coffeeshop, so he loved it.
Best thing he's ever smelled.
That's what he said.
Yeah, what does?
Ryan (05:50):
mike.
Think though, after saying thatI think it's great.
Myke (05:55):
I think it is.
I think it should be highlyconsidered if you're a guy and
you want something that is verywearable, very mass appealing
but has more personality thanyour just stereotypical designer
fragrance out there.
Yeah, you've got to try thatone.
Okay, I like it.
I've got to wear it a few timesjust from the travel atomizer.
(06:17):
I enjoy it.
Is it me 100%?
Maybe not, but it's pretty damngood.
Ryan (06:24):
I think your summer of it is good.
I remember being like it smellsgood, but I wasn't like overtly
impressed just because it isvery safe.
It is a little notch above, uh,your typical designer by the
end of the episode.
Myke (06:39):
You were loving it though it did get pretty good.
Ryan (06:41):
And when he brought it to the table, because I hadn't
smelled in a minute and I'm justsmelling coffee aromas, it's
clearing, cleansing the palate,you know, yeah, it does get
pretty good.
And when he brought it to thetable because I hadn't smelled a
minute and I'm just smellingcoffee aromas, it's clearing,
cleansing the palate, you know,yeah, it does smell pretty good.
And I took it back from youknow me I was like snatched.
I was like, yeah, let me smellit again.
So it does smell pretty good.
Myke (06:55):
You're like, oh god, that is good.
But you know what ruined it forus though, what we said.
You know what kind of lives youknow in this same cul-de-sac?
Ryan (07:11):
yeah it's like there's dudes are two houses on the same
cul-de-sac but one's reallytaken care of I mean one's
really, really nice, and that isferris by Kajal no bullshit.
They do smell similar, butFerris is like way clackery.
Myke (07:30):
It's yeah, it's way stronger and it's just got more
going on to it.
And this is what happened.
We went into the little editingroom and we're working on some
video projects for a client andyou're smelling it and you're
saying, oh my God, I'm reallyliking this.
And I go you know what I likebetter, Ferris?
And you go, oh, let me,actually, let me go spray it.
(07:50):
You come back into the Colognepodcast studio area and you
spray two tester strips and whenyou walk back, you hand me one
and I smell it and I go that'sFerris, and that is leagues
above.
Ryan (08:02):
They do smell very similar , but that one does fucking
clown, it does it even better.
Myke (08:08):
It's sick dude.
So I feel like if you're goingniche route but you still want
that vibe and you can get yourhands on some Ferris, might be
worth doing that over Percival.
I hate to like put these headto head, yeah, but I kind of
feel like if you're gonna spendyour hard-earned money, people,
we're gonna give you the realtruth yeah, that's the short and
(08:34):
skinny of it.
Ryan (08:36):
I really do think you summarize it great.
It is really a good scent, verysafe, but I don't mean like
it's just generic, it's notgeneric generic.
No, it smells really good and Iwould say both that and even
though we didn't review it then,but both that and Ferris are
safe.
I would definitely give Parfumsde Marly the edge on being a
little bit more safer because itis a little bit more subdued
(08:56):
and not so yes, yeah, not asloud, yeah, a little bit softer,
yeah For sure, probably alittle bit closer to designer,
even absolutely.
Myke (09:08):
But ferris has something going on where it.
It meets the criteria for thatsafe office wear, but it also
has a little bit morepersonality and almost a little
bit more like um, let me thinkof the word jenny jacquard is
that the word?
Ryan (09:22):
no, keep thinking mike.
Uh, not mature todd play thejeopardy music over this why is
my mind?
Myke (09:32):
probably because I only slept two hours last night.
That's why you're coming inwith all this energy.
You're like delirium mike, yeah, and I told you I started to
drink a energy drink and then itmade my freaking lips freak out
, yeah, and I was like, am Idying anyway?
It just does something likemore classically, yeah,
masculine well, there you go.
Ryan (09:52):
It's a sample to, I guess, a buy for the right person for
sure, but today I'm ready to geton with it.
I've got to smell it.
I've been, yeah, hungering forthis fragrance for years.
Yeah, van Cleef and Arpels czar.
You do dibs man, god, jonathan,bleep you bastard.
(10:17):
I am so excited for this.
God, let's do it.
I'm kind of scared to spray.
I don't want to be let down.
Myke (10:24):
Should we do vips of the podcast, because jonathan bleep
is definitely in there?
What do you mean by vip likejust people that have, like have
really.
Ryan (10:33):
You know, they've gone above and beyond but I mean,
when you say vip, what's it meanto them?
Like they, they coming on theshow, like I don't know.
Myke (10:41):
I mean, I don't know that.
Yeah, maybe I was just sayingthey need some sort of
recognition.
For sure, we're out thereloving you guys and you're
loving us back, jesus ryan howmany was that enough for me to
wear?
Ryan (11:02):
god, she's just as beautiful as I remember.
No, this is you, this isfucking me, oh god dude, I'm
gonna smell like a 55 year oldman.
Myke (11:13):
I fucking love this shit.
I feel like I've got liverspots already popping up on my
body when does that start tohappen?
Ryan (11:23):
I'm getting worried.
I'm getting up there.
Myke (11:24):
No, we've already agreed that you look at least a few
years younger than your actualbiological age.
Ryan (11:32):
What do you smell with this?
And very briefly I will say, onmy skin I do get a little bit
of the medicine thing going onthat he was talking about.
Myke (11:42):
Geranium thing going on, that he was talking about
geranium.
To me this smells like you know, I'm six years old and I'm
tooling around in papa'sfragrances.
Ryan (11:54):
Oh yeah, maybe he's got like a little drawer, got a
shaving kit in there.
Yeah, got a little likeaftershave bomb or something in
there.
Myke (12:02):
Well, that's kind of the thing is.
I don't't know about you guys,but my grandpa never had a
fragrance with an atomizer on it.
It was always the splash on.
Yeah, he was also an asshole.
Just didn't want you guys tothink I was remembering fondly
of that Bastard of a man.
Ryan (12:42):
Oh God, you guys, to think I was remembering fondly of
that bastard of a man.
Oh shit, it does have a weirdlike vitamin smell at the base
of this on top.
It's like it's got a sting inthe air.
You know, not a stink, a sting,it has like a has a little bite
.
Yeah, yeah, it's got some teethto it.
Very, uh, old school masculine.
This is definitely somethingyou fucking just got done
shaving and you sprayed yourskin all over and it fucking set
you on fucking fire.
Dude, it's a lot, but it's alot right now.
(13:04):
It is great, but you walked outand you were a fucking man I
mean, I feel feel pretty manlyright now.
Myke (13:12):
Yeah, I feel something, I feel older, for sure god, I love
it, I fucking love it this, ohboy, this is some.
You think this isn't for themodern era.
It it depends on the person.
Really.
Ryan (13:25):
Yeah, you think, walk in me and you work at a fucking
place.
You're Xeroxing your ass,cheeks and shit.
I walk by, you smell this.
Would you be upset with it?
Myke (13:35):
If you were wearing it, yeah, I'd be like did you
inherit your granddad'saftershave?
That's all he left you?
Huh?
No, I mean, I smell it and it'slike it would have to be an
older gentleman I don't thinkthis is that.
Ryan (13:54):
Do you think it's loud?
Is this like overwhelming toyou?
Myke (13:58):
I don't know, maybe not, maybe it's not just like choking
me out, but I still feel likeit's got some clackers to it.
Ryan (14:05):
Oh it does, but it's like for me, as far as like the
loudness, like punchiness, Ifeel like it's like a three out
of ten, really yeah.
Myke (14:12):
I mean, this is definitely no like Lamar Noir.
Ryan (14:15):
No, okay, so you just mentioned Lamar Noir and we just
talked about Gajal a second agowhen we first did the episode a
while back for kajal home 2.
Yeah, and I have some at thehouse, I need to bring it here.
Home 2 is the modernizedversion of this to me.
Oh, okay, it is so fucking good.
(14:35):
Forbis loved it.
I'm sorry that I'm bringingthem up up again, but it is what
it is, but I'm telling you they.
They are similar.
So I was not.
I feel vindicated.
I guess what I'm trying to get.
I feel vindicated that I'vesaid that it smells similar
because they do.
Myke (14:51):
Oh man, that's like saying the Thing and Hateful Eight are
similar.
They are, but it's not likeeven that close to me.
Ryan (15:00):
I mean, I feel like Especially modern, I feel like
that does that way better thanthis.
Myke (15:07):
Oh yeah, om2 is sweeter.
You wore it the other day topool Smells fucking good.
And about 30 minutes in I waslike, oh my God, I forgot how
badass that fragrance was.
It smells incredible.
Should we just rename thisepisode?
Yeah, kajal Spotlight, orsomething like that, probably.
Let me tell you how much Forbusloved it.
(15:30):
He went through the bottle sofast we never even got to get
the bottle back from him.
Really, yeah, it was the firstone to go through and then
cedraboise after that.
Ryan (15:38):
Guys, god damn.
I will say there is something alittle bit more subdued of this
.
It's, but it's also somasculine.
This is how I feel like men'sfragrances should smell like to
me now, even now, dude huh,there's a certain muskiness to
it, but not over the top, likeprobably.
(15:59):
You know georgio beverly hillsfrom back in the day that one's
a fucking nuclear power plant.
Yeah, I feel like this is justlike a home generator outside,
but it's fucking reliable, youknow I don't want to give this
fragrance like the people'selbow.
Myke (16:13):
Yeah, be strong.
It smells dated.
Ryan (16:16):
To me this smells like 89 I mean, to some people that's a
good.
You know, it's a good year 89yeah, it is.
Myke (16:26):
A lot of icons showed up around them.
Some of them were just a weelittle boy in 89.
Not even a full year old Justwalking around peeing in his
pants, being neglected.
That's not funny, but you knowthat's the dark humor that we've
(16:50):
come to appreciate yeah, let megive you the price and
popularity of this fragrancereally quick.
Ryan (16:57):
Okay price you're looking at about 600 fucking dollars for
100 ml this, if you find itstill out there.
So this juice that jonathanbleep gave us, this is probably
(17:17):
50 bucks worth of juice righthere and we're gonna use every
drop.
At least I will, I know youwill.
Myke (17:22):
I'm already you're laced up.
Ryan (17:24):
You're already.
It's yours popularity.
I mean it is old, it came outin 89.
Not a lot of people are goingto go track that down and leave
a room, but I, you know,shockingly enough, about 1500
people did.
That's like a 4.15 out of5 okay, so pretty good.
Yeah, I mean I see why this isso fucking good.
Myke (17:43):
I wish I had a counter for every time you've referenced
this over the course of thecatalog of our podcast.
Ryan (17:49):
God, it probably over 50 times it has to be.
Myke (17:53):
You got so sick of me mentioning it to you, and then I
don't even think we did anepisode on it.
Ryan (17:59):
I've got about that much left in the bottle.
We need to come back and do afucking thing.
Damn, you've been wearing it.
I wear the fuck out of thatfragrance.
Really, I still think it'sgreat.
In fact, somebody in ourPatreon if you're not a Patreon,
go be one but somebody in ourPatreon actually mentioned Tommy
.
They just bought a bottle of itand they were like this
seriously smells good even fortoday, and I have to agree yeah,
very fucking good there'sanother bottle.
Myke (18:20):
that remember when you were like what have you ever
done for me, mike?
Oh yeah, that was early on too.
Ryan (18:26):
Sometimes I give you half my hamburger or something.
Myke (18:29):
Yeah, no, you don't.
When have you done that?
Closest thing is we split quesosometimes when Mexican food
Tex-Mex.
I watch you sometimes and I'mlike oh, he's just throwing that
shit in the garbage.
No, I've shared those chickenwings the last time.
Oh, that's true, you did.
Yeah, we're like an old marriedcouple.
Really.
I'm like dude, I can't eat.
(18:49):
All of you Want some of this,and that's like my favorite part
of the day.
I just wait for it.
I'm like a dog.
I just sit and I'm just perchedup on the table waiting.
I've already eaten all my foodand I just watch and pray.
Ryan (19:05):
I will say on the tester strip, this definitely does
smell dated.
Yeah, man, it's almost like youjust stumbled into an attic in
a way.
Myke (19:14):
Oh, no, it smells better than that, I don't know.
To me, though, that label couldbe Old Spice, Brute, Really
Royal Copenhagen, or whatever.
You need to do one on that too.
Really Royal Copenhagen, orwhatever.
You need to do one on that too.
I feel like you know PacoRabanne, poor home from back in
the day.
Yeah, you know 80s.
To me that was just what they.
(19:36):
They all smelled, kind ofsimilar to this.
Ryan (19:48):
You know what's sad is, all my life I thought Van Cleef
and Arpels had some type ofconnection to God.
Who's the famous spaghettiwestern actor?
Something Van Cleef?
Oh, I don't know, I don't thinkthey are, though I don't think
they are in the slightest, isn'tthat kind of wild Founder?
Was Alfred Van Cleef?
Definitely not the same fuckingguy.
By the way, I want to bringthis up.
I mean, it's small details here, but I had to because it's uh
kind of hilarious.
Perfumer how do you pronouncethat?
Felipe bostoni or whatever?
(20:09):
Yeah, sure, okay, I'm so sorry.
Felipe, uh, perfumer, felipeboston, I think, is the name.
Okay, he hasn't really made alot of, like you know, home runs
, right, he hadn't made a lot ofstuff out there.
He's made a couple things.
I don't know of him.
I don't either.
This was his most popularfragrance, by the way.
Makes sense.
Second most popular fragrance,though, is this one oriflame
(20:32):
freya.
And look at this fucking bottlefor this thing what is that
nonsense?
Myke (20:41):
right, and it's a feminine fragrance and, let me tell you
it, it looks like you'd find itin a sock drawer somewhere.
Ryan (20:48):
It looks like a fucking vibrator with a safety pin.
Yeah, like you pull that thingout first and it just starts.
Do the crank up sound?
You do.
It makes me laugh so much.
Myke (21:02):
He really just did that.
You got to do the motion, yeah,yeah, and it goes kaboom.
Ryan (21:12):
He should have went really all in.
You got to give him the fewcord pulls and then the full rev
.
Myke (21:19):
I need to work on my like, where it's like flooded and
won't turn over.
You're just over there yankingyour chain.
Ryan (21:30):
So many times.
By the way, one of the playersand uh, marvel rivals that
happened to accompany my teamlast night that was a very good
player actually and his name wasyurkin my johnson and then he
went off into the sunset.
I never saw him again.
Oh man, don't you hate whenthat happens.
Myke (21:47):
Yeah, it's kind of dumb.
Ryan (21:50):
You've kind of mentioned it.
We'll gloss over it.
You think this is for an olderperson.
You already felt like you weregetting liver spots coming up as
soon as you smelled this.
Myke (21:57):
Yes, for sure when your chest hair starts getting gray
in it.
I that like gives me someexistential sort of dread Really
.
Oh yeah, because I'm like youlook really damn old when you
got gray in like your body hair.
Ryan (22:16):
God, you know the most random thing.
I went and got a haircut theother day.
Yeah, and it's one of our localhaircut country town.
Oh, I haven't seen the.
Do I mean you're?
Myke (22:26):
seeing it kind of yeah, he's wearing a hat, if that
gives you guys any sort ofconfidence.
First of all, I was reallyhappy with the hair.
Ryan (22:32):
Oh okay, I really was shocker.
Uh, and she's a nice young lady, I go in there every once in a
while and she'll cut my hair.
She's cut pretty mucheverybody's hair my family but
uh, she hadn't seen me in awhile.
This is this same haircut.
By the way, she hadn't seen meforever.
Yeah, and she's cutting on myhair and stuff and she's just
like, oh, you know, I ain't everseen that before.
(22:54):
On you right there, thatfucking thing growing up.
I'm like, yeah, I've had thatmole there for a while there.
Oh, and it just made me reallyself-conscious.
Myke (23:01):
Really Did she say you ought to get that looked at?
No, she was like you got adermatologist you can go to.
Ryan (23:07):
she did kind of say that actually, oh, and you know, the
night, the nice southern way itwasn't she wasn't being rude by
she's like bless your heart yeah, she was.
She wasn't being rude, she wasjust like oh, you know, I've cut
your hair for fucking 20 years.
Never seen that.
Myke (23:20):
Yeah you might be dying.
She's like, yeah, we'll do anice little fade here.
That could be skin cancer, andas we gradually go up, we'll put
a two on top and we'll it'spretty much how that whole thing
yeah for sure have a great dayhon I love southern people.
Ryan (23:41):
Yeah, me too.
Myke (23:42):
Seriously they're, they're seriously you can't tell if
they love you or hate you andit's not like how the media
spends everything.
Ryan (23:48):
I promise you it's not all like this crazy shit here.
It's pretty hometown and cool,but yeah.
So you think this is olderpeople or older gentlemen?
Hold on, I got to rewind for asecond.
Myke (23:59):
I love the difference between because I lived in
Boston as well yeah, when youlive down here in Texas, you
feel like everyone loves youAbsolutely.
And I had some when I lived inin boston, had some family come
up and they visited andliterally they thought everybody
was about to get into a fightup there because you just think
(24:19):
everybody hates you, yeah, butthen they'll like, they'll hug
it out and laugh and now youknow that's just it.
There's just a different typeof, you know, like camaraderie.
That happens, yeah, when Ilived okay, so when I lived in
colorado, every time I'd likewalk, pop.
You know, here down south it'sjust a different type of
camaraderie that happens, yeah,okay.
Ryan (24:31):
So when I lived in Colorado, every time I'd walk
past here down south.
Look, it is what it is.
It's an unwritten rule.
You walk by somebody hey, how'sit going?
Yeah, you're doing all right.
Hey, how's it going today, sir,ma'am?
You open doors, yada, yada,yada.
Yeah, up there is in the kind ofgrand junction area, but it was
(24:52):
like people just did not wantto have the time of day with you
.
They just could not.
You could say something andthey would just walk right past.
They're just in their own world, yeah, and it's like they
almost felt like the best time Iever did that, though, I was in
glenwood springs, it was, itjust snowed, you know, it's
fucking cold.
And I walked by this guy aboutmy same age and I was with a
young lady at the time and we'relike just like enjoying the
making out.
Yeah, we're walking, we're notwalking and making out, but
(25:13):
we're walking together.
And I'm like, hey, how's itgoing, sir?
And he just ignored me.
And you know me, I'm verycenter cross, like fucking
asshole, you know.
Yeah, but as soon as he walkedby me and he ignored me, he
fucking bit it, dude, he hit.
He hit a patch of fucking ice.
Dude instant karma dude.
He looked like goddamn goofydude.
(25:35):
It was fucking nuts.
And then I felt kind of bad forhim because it was.
Myke (25:39):
It was pretty brutal oh man, I think it's like.
Down south everybody's likedogs.
You know, a dog's always happyto see you, no matter who you
are.
You know they're like.
And up north is kind of likethey're like cats, you know,
yeah, they'll.
They kind of do their own thing.
Occasionally they'll be liketerrible cat impression.
(26:02):
Well, I hate cats so I don'tspend a lot of time studying
them.
I avoid them at all costs.
Oh God, there was some emperorthat did some sort of decree
against cats.
They literally exported all thecats out of the country and
then plagues arose because ofall the rats.
(26:23):
Yeah, I was about to say that'sprobably what happened, and
they got their ass kicked bysome plagues.
Ryan (26:30):
Briefly, really quick.
I got to tell you this thenotes on this thing.
I don't even know if I evenwant to read it.
There's a fucking million notes, do you feel?
Myke (26:38):
it's kind of like the uh ck1?
Oh dude, yeah the ck1 like 40of them.
Ryan (26:44):
God damn, you think you're like making some type of voodoo
concoction.
Myke (26:48):
You, you got so many things in here, you got freaking
toads, blood and the hair offthe Adam's apple of a hippo and
shit.
Ryan (26:59):
I think you need to just get two hours of sleep and
you're really bringing some agame on this.
Myke (27:03):
I'm going to crash so hard in a minute.
Ryan (27:07):
Especially after we get this lunch.
We're about to eat.
What are you going to get today?
Hamburger?
I'm going to get today,hamburger.
Myke (27:12):
Huh, you're going to get the my go chicken wings.
You liking the chicken wings?
Ryan (27:17):
there, I am Okay.
Are you going to skip it,sample it or buy it?
What are you going to do?
Ryan Jonathan Bleep, thank youfor sending this in.
You, lovely man.
Yeah, thank you for sendingthis in.
You, lovely man.
Yeah, thank you for sendingthis in.
As we said, he has been afriend of the podcast for the
longest time.
He's also been a Patreon forthe longest time and he has done
(27:39):
so much for this show.
He's one of many, but he hassent in so goddamn much.
Yeah, I feel like him andCynthia compete.
Yeah, like, keep and scoreExactly.
Thank you.
Uh, keep in score Exactly.
Um, thank you for sending thisin, cause this really is
nostalgic, wise for me.
This is such a good.
It's put me in a better moodtoday.
Myke (27:59):
Yeah, you were so excited Cause we were like, yeah, what
episode are we going to do?
And I was like man, we got thatczar and you're Dude instantly
I was like we're doing it.
Ryan (28:07):
I've been wanting to smell it forever, yeah.
Myke (28:09):
So, but answer the question, ryan, what are you
going?
Ryan (28:13):
to do.
It is going to be a sample.
Okay, because I just cannotjustify spending the price tag.
Yeah, $600 on 100 ml.
Myke (28:24):
No, it's just.
I have a sneaky suspicion thatour friend Jonathan didn't drop
that.
He's a man who knows the backalleys of the fragrance
community.
He may, and he seems to find apretty good deal.
Ryan (28:38):
But I will say for sampling, especially if you're
just like in the market, justkind of remember what it smells
like.
Definitely a sample, Bring itback.
Myke (28:53):
I do think it is a little dated, but that can be good too,
you know you know, yeah, itdepends on what vibe you're
trying to put out.
There's nothing wrong withhaving like a vintage vibe,
absolutely.
There's a musician that I likenamed spencer, sutherland, yeah,
and he has this very like bellbottomy.
You know, 60s, 70s, look, youknow, his music is very like
queen meets, I don't know bonjovi or something, and, uh, you
(29:18):
know, maybe he rocks somethinglike this.
Maybe you've got that sort ofpersonality that you want the
old school vibe.
I did that in college.
I was like wearing bell bottomsand shit.
Yeah, mainly because that wasthe clothes I had, because I had
hand-me-downs, literally mygrandmother made these.
I wore, you know, the polyesterbell bottoms like nearly every
day.
I, like my grandpa's old cowboyshirts and stuff had the huge
(29:42):
collar.
Ryan (29:43):
I look like john travolta you know, I was telling somebody
just recently I just feel likeI'm everybody I know that in my
close circle have had like atough life, oh yeah, yeah.
And then I I was telling themI've told you I feel kind of, I
feel guilty because like you're,like, because you had it so
good, yeah, was I a silver spoonbaby?
Do you think I was?
Myke (30:04):
oh yeah are you serious?
Really?
Yes, are.
Oh, I've heard stories of yourchildhood.
You know your parents would buyyou some expensive-ass jacket,
oh yeah, and you'd sell it forlike 20 bucks to just have
pocket money.
You'd probably spend $100 on it.
I don't know if.
Ryan (30:23):
I did that.
That makes you sound likeyou've got a drug problem.
Myke (30:27):
What the hell?
Yeah, dude, you're freaking,huffing white out and shit.
No, yeah, I would say on thespectrum you definitely lean
more towards spoiled for sure.
Ryan (30:41):
I definitely can say.
Anytime a new console came out,that was always like guaranteed
a Christmas gift, Damn dude ForChristmas.
Myke (30:49):
I'll tell you what I got.
I got my choice.
If I needed a new pair of shoesor a new gift Damn dude For
Christmas.
I'll tell you what I got.
I got my choice.
If I needed a new pair of shoesor a new pair of pants, I could
pick one.
I would get that, and then Iwould get apples, oranges and
pecans in like a stocking.
What?
Ryan (31:01):
the hell.
Yeah, I had it okay, chris.
Myke (31:05):
I'm like delving into the details I had like a BS what
they had Kiss come out and playin our living room.
I was talking with somebody onInstagram and they were like
you've hinted on the podcastthat you had like a wild
childhood, yeah.
(31:25):
And I was like yeah, it'spretty damn wild.
And they're like how wild areyou talking Like, is it like
crazy or is it like scary?
Ryan (31:34):
I'm like it's fucking nightmare fuel for some people
yeah, you told me something likeyeah, I would fucking hate that
.
Myke (31:40):
And you go one of two ways with it.
Yeah, my sister went thecomplete opposite way and I I
feel bad for her because, look,you know, part of it is like
nature versus nurture, sort of athing.
Yeah, you can't, you know, wehad the childhood that would
make you jump into the drugs andthe wild shit and and she went
(32:04):
heavy on it and I went theopposite way let me ask you this
really quick Do you findyourself cause you know growing
up like that where you'reheading to like cheese between
you know pants and walnuts.
Yeah, do you want to eat or doyou want to be clothed?
Ryan (32:20):
Yeah, you know my dad.
You know he lived with a familyof you know.
They were a family of nine,really, including the mom and
the dad and the kids, and theywere sharecroppers.
Uh-huh, dead broke, really,including the mom and the dad
and the kids, and they weresharecroppers dead broke.
My grandfather died without youknow actual plumbing in the
house, right?
Yeah, do you?
Because for my, for my dad andthat's where I feel like I mean
(32:42):
my childhood was good.
Yeah, is he?
He honestly kind of lived abovehis means in a way, but he
would constantly get thechildren everything they ever
wanted, because he did grow upin the same thing where it's
like he never got anything.
Myke (32:56):
Do you find yourself doing that by chance sometimes, where
you sure you do too much, youfeel like you gotta oh, I had to
dial it back for sure, yeah,with my kids, because at first
my grandmother did a great jobof instilling like, don't go to
haywire with money.
Yeah, they literally everythingwas cash.
They never.
(33:16):
They wouldn't even get a creditcard, yeah, or like a debit
card.
They just didn't believe it.
They were like, I mean, I don'tknow, that's some end of days
type shit.
You know the debit card.
And so, uh, she told me all thetime, never get a credit card,
never borrow money, you knowthat sort of a thing.
So luckily I didn't go like toowild but, yeah, if I had the
(33:39):
money, I was doing everything Icould for the kids.
I just wanted to.
I know I almost was likereliving my childhood through
them and I was like trying tocreate all these different
scenarios for them to where theyhad the best, all the memories
and seeing the characters andstuff.
So we went to the Disney on Iceand the PJ Masks live events.
(34:06):
We did all that stuff Becauseit's like I wanted them to like
and I think that has been thegreatest part of my life has
been watching their like.
It's awe and wonder, yeah, ofjust these things.
You know, seeing them soexcited, like the joy of a child
(34:28):
.
To me, there's nothing betterthan seeing that.
So, yeah, I've since dialed itback, you know.
But now that they're older, too, I'm trying to teach them to
manage their own money.
So it's like they're like oh, Iwant to get the battle pass,
but I also want these skins forfortnight.
And I'm like, well, you, youknow, this is how many v bucks
you got and you got to decidewhat do you want?
(34:50):
Because you know I try not tocave because they'll come.
Be like dad, you know, is thereanything, any work I can do
around the house?
You know, like they're alwayscoming up to me, I'm just
looking for work, dad, you knowwhat it's like.
I'm sure.
I'm sure we can find $10 worthof chores for you to do oh, god
(35:14):
bless.
It's hard out there, Dad.
Ryan (35:18):
Thank you, Jonathan Bleep, for being our dad today and
giving us something really coolto freaking smell on, we'd be
smelling like some daddies.
Myke (35:27):
We're going to go to lunch smelling like some straight up
old school dads.
Ryan (35:31):
I'm going to freaking love it dude.
I'm going to spray more of thisbefore I even leave.
You're just going to lace up onit.
I'm not going to go super lacedbecause I definitely want to be
able to come back to this andjust smell it from time to time.
Yeah, I'm definitely going toput on a couple more.
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