April 7, 2025 • 41 mins
What happens when a respected professional's 27-year career ends with a single webcam mistake? Myke and Ryan dive into this provocative question as they resurrect the fan-favorite Random Sample Bag segment after numerous community requests.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
CNN Host (00:00):
Warning this episode is for sure, 100% not for anyone
under 18.
Also, this episode wasoriginally meant as a Patreon
exclusive, but due to theopening topic the boys talk
about, they decided this shouldprobably be a main episode.
Enjoy.
Myke (00:19):
Hello fellow Patreons.
I'm Mike, I'm Ryan and we'retwo best friends going on a
fragrance journey, smellingfragrances and giving you
uneducated opinions, and todaywe're bringing back the Random
Sample Bag.
Ryan (00:36):
That's right.
We had a community chat.
You guys said, hey, bring backthe Random Sample Bag.
Hey, do this.
Hey talk about freaking vaginason that one show.
Myke (00:45):
Listen to this oh, oh, my gourd, go ahead.
No, go ahead, go ahead.
At one time you counted howmany were in here.
It was quite a bit, yeah.
Ryan (00:56):
This is still the original random sample bag, by the way
it is.
That's how lazy we are.
We have yet to fuck withanything in here.
Yeah, and we never did anythingwith it, but let it set to the
side.
Myke (01:07):
You know how we roll yeah, of course, nothing but pros
here, yeah and so we're bringingit back.
Ryan (01:13):
We're gonna reach in there here in just a second.
But you know, I wanted toreally start this off a little
bit kind of a twofer, a randomsample bag and a little side
quest here.
Okay, just a minute ago I wastalking to mike said dude, let
me show you this.
I wanted to get your reactionand so I'm going to play you a
little snippet here.
(01:33):
Okay, play away.
CNN Host (01:37):
In October, you were on a Zoom call with your
colleagues from the New Yorkermagazine.
Everyone took a break forseveral minutes, during which
time you were caughtmasturbating on camera.
You were subsequently firedfrom that job after 27 years of
working there and you, sincethen, have been on leave from
(01:58):
CNN.
Do I have all?
The Masturbater (02:00):
that right.
You got it all right, sad tosay, okay.
Ryan (02:04):
Okay, first off, yeah, yeah, this is on live tv.
This is on cnn, yeah, and Ithink this might have happened a
couple years back, by the way,but it's like I never even knew
this fucking thing happened.
I never knew.
This guy jerked it off, he wasjunking, he was definitely
junking right, he was junkingaway and apparently he was on a
(02:24):
zoom call in some meeting.
This is you know.
This might have been aroundcovet, who fucking knows early,
but it's like he worked for 27years.
He gets shit, can for jackingit, yeah, and now he's coming on
live tv after seven months ofbereavement or something about
it?
CNN Host (02:41):
yeah, I guess so so let's start there, okay.
Um to quote jay leno what thehell were you thinking?
The Masturbater (02:48):
well, obviously I wasn't thinking very well or
very much, and um it wassomething that was inexplicable
to me, I think one point Iwouldn't exactly say in my
defense, because nothing isreally in my defense.
I didn't think I was on thecall, I didn't think other
people could see me.
CNN Host (03:06):
You thought that you had turned off your camera,
correct?
The Masturbater (03:09):
I thought that I had turned off the Zoom call.
Now, that's not a defense, thiswas deeply moronic and
indefensible, but I mean, thatis part of the story.
Um, and you know, I have spentthis seven subsequent months
miserable months in my life, Ican certainly confess um, here's
(03:32):
the worst part of it, righthere.
Ryan (03:33):
To me, this is the worst part of it.
The Masturbater (03:35):
Yeah, go for it trying to be a better person.
I mean in therapy, trying to dosome public service, um,
working in a food bank, which Icertainly am going to continue
to do, working on a new bookabout the Oklahoma City bombing
but I am trying to become thekind of person that people can
trust again.
Trust again.
Ryan (03:54):
Dude, you just fucking jacked it man who cares?
Myke (03:58):
This was the conversation, Look.
Ryan (04:01):
Why is this on air?
Myke (04:03):
Well, I mean, it's an awkward situation.
I'm do you remember the personwho they had like a zoom of a
funeral?
And then they had people, theyhad huge screens.
This was like a big funeral,yeah, and they had huge screens
where people could join in onthe zoom totally makes sense.
Ryan (04:26):
Dead bodies got to see the people there right, right, yeah
, they could join in.
Myke (04:30):
And at one point a lady had um joined it.
She didn't realize that she hadkept her camera on and she was
taking a shower and like shavingher legs and stuff, damn.
And she and she was up on themain the huge screens at this
and this church was massive andshe's up on there naked during
(04:50):
this funeral.
Ryan (04:51):
Wouldn't want anybody to be manning the fucking computer.
That could be, you know, theadmin of the zoom.
Myke (04:56):
call Like pull that down.
Yeah, it's like some automatedthing.
So it's part of me is like,yeah, that does suck for
everybody.
That, you know, is like hangingout eating their sandwich or
something waiting to jump backon and some dudes you know.
Ryan (05:09):
ho-ho-ho mama ho-ho-ho mama sort of a situation.
It's like I don't know man.
I mean, it's embarrassing.
Myke (05:16):
I mean, should he get fired for it?
Yes, what yeah?
You still think he should getfired for that.
Ryan (05:22):
Yeah, If you still think he should get fired for that.
Yeah, If he's like hey guys, Ifucked up.
Guys, I've been here 27 years.
This is the first time you sawme jack off in 27 years.
Myke (05:31):
I mean, dude, I think it's .
Yeah, I don't think he's likeSignore doesn't help him at all
here he's fucked.
No, oh my God.
No, I don't think so.
I don't think he needs to be intherapy and earning back the
trust of the people and which,by the way, nobody wants your
food at the food bank.
Ryan (05:48):
We know where your hands have been Exactly dude.
Myke (05:50):
Nobody wants you to make it right, even if you touch the
gloves before you put them onyour hand, you know, yeah, but
my thing was like look anybodywho's like really taking shots
at this guy, take a long hard.
Ryan (06:04):
Look in the mirror.
I was like what man doesn'tit's like wait.
I'm just not going to vilifythis guy.
He served 27 long hard years.
Myke (06:17):
You're thinking he should have got some sort of slap on
the wrist.
Ryan (06:22):
I think him being put on leave for a while.
I don't think seven months, Ithink three, three to six months
.
I don't think you want to workthere anymore well, yeah, after
you after you've shown some.
Myke (06:32):
Well, if he's willing to, yeah, but think of how awkward
it is for janet to walk down thehall and it's like, oh, poor,
oh that.
There's that guy that I'm justsaying, look, it was.
If everyone agrees that thiswas like this, honest mistake
that happened.
Yeah, I think that's what itwas.
It was a mistake.
I think it was too.
I don't think that, like he was, did anything predatory.
(06:56):
It doesn't feel like that, atleast.
But, goddamn dude, get asticker for your camera or
something.
You know what I mean.
Like, come on, guys, like weknow technology at this point,
right, just so you guys knowwhen we do our lives.
Ryan (07:10):
Before we utter a fucking word, after we hit the in live
button, yeah, before we utter afucking word, mike gets up
calmly.
Yeah, he walks over, unplugsthe ethernet cord, unplugs the
microphone, unplugs the Ethernetcord, unplugs the microphone,
unplugs the connection to thevideo camera and then I
masturbate.
Alright, let's smell thisfragrance.
(07:36):
We got a good start here.
Myke (07:39):
Here's a bag I'm just going to reach in and I'll watch
you.
Yeah, just to make sure thatyou know the line.
He's got my back, all right, oh, okay, what is it?
Ryan (07:56):
replica at the barbers okay, this is a mason margiela.
Yes, I have a bad feeling aboutthis.
I don't know if you guysremember, but I don't have a
good running with mason margielafragrance.
Myke (08:09):
Initially I'm worried it's gonna have that hairspray smell
yeah, I guarantee you it is.
Ryan (08:14):
I'm calling it right now.
Myke (08:15):
It's going to, but by the fireplace.
Ryan (08:17):
I've enjoyed quite a bit you and everybody I fucking know
loves it it just smells liketoasted marshmallows.
Myke (08:24):
It smells so good on a woman fuck it, we're going live
hmm, you know, what?
hmm, I definitely get thatbarbershop sort of vibe.
Yeah, it nails that.
That's not bad in the air itdoes smell.
It's got that kind of cheapthing going on though?
(08:44):
Yeah, it does.
Is that just like a?
That kind of cheap thing goingon though?
Yeah, it does.
Is that just like a house thingthey do?
They're like every one of theseneeds to have a little bit of
hairspray in it, everybody loveshairspray, you know, growing up
I really did like the smell ofhairspray Certain ones, yeah, I
(09:11):
can get with you.
Ryan (09:11):
Yeah, um, your mom probably had one she used that
had a special smell to it.
My grandmother had, likeaquanet that she used for you
know a million years.
Oh yeah, fucking hate the hand.
Hmm, tester scripts are.
It's all right, it's and it'slike really quickly changing to
just being all right.
The initial verse is okay.
Myke (09:21):
I think we're gonna need to give this a minute, because
that's kind of what happens withcoming out of the atomizer that
like kind of needs a second togo away before you can kind of
get to okay the goods of it.
So why don't we do this?
I've got an ice cream over herenothing random at all about
(09:43):
that, yeah why don't we let thischill on the skin for a minute?
what kind of ice cream is hegonna tell him?
It's a halados, it's like a.
You know, we have like amexican ice cream brand and they
make is that only to here intexas area?
I don't know if it's only totexas, but they make like the
around here.
You'll get the guy who pushesthe cart oh yeah, and it's like
(10:06):
the Mexican ice cream, popsicletype things.
Okay, now you can buy them instores and I freaking love the
Mungo.
So Mungo, mungo.
So I've got that over here andwe kind of saw a couple of posts
from Snazzy we were worriedabout.
(10:26):
I think we check in with him.
Let this chill on the skin fora second.
Yeah, we need to check on ourboy.
Ryan (10:32):
All right, let's do that.
Hello, wait a minute, oh godhello.
DJ Snazzy Seth (10:45):
Hey, it's connected to the bluetooth.
Ryan (10:47):
Hello hey, hey, what's going on, buddy, hey, pal oh, is
this ryan?
And mike.
DJ Snazzy Seth (10:53):
He's here with me, yeah oh, you're on the phone
too.
That's weird.
I haven't heard from you guysin a while.
Myke (11:00):
Yeah, we were worried about you.
We saw your post.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:05):
Which one?
Myke (11:06):
The.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:07):
Arbatus mini posts.
Myke (11:09):
We saw that you're going through a little bit of
heartbreak.
Ryan (11:14):
Yeah, oh, that one.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:16):
Yeah, I mean, that was the most recent, I was
hoping you saw one of mybusiness propositions.
Yeah, we saw that too.
Most recent, I was hoping yousaw one of my business
propositions.
Myke (11:22):
but yeah, we saw that too.
We'll get to that.
Yeah, this was.
We're checking in on you first.
Ryan (11:27):
Yeah, that was the most recent post was actually over, I
guess a little bit of a breakupthat you went through recently.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:32):
Yeah, I'm a loner, now A rebel.
Myke (11:36):
You're back on the market, huh.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:38):
I guess you could say that, yeah, I'm on the
market, on the black market.
Ryan (11:43):
What led to the breakup, I mean what happened.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:46):
Yeah, I've been seeing this broad for a while.
She's Cuban In Miami.
You know I like to date outsidemy brain.
Myke (11:55):
Well, I commend you for that.
Not so narrow-sighted, I seeI'm an equal opportunity
employer.
DJ Snazzy Seth (12:01):
You know, as far as dei goes, I'm all about it
when it comes to dating myfriends.
It's good to hear uh, yeah,definitely.
Something we definitely want totalk to you about is your dei
relationship hires well, I mean,I grew up dating only white
girls and I thought that's notfair.
I've got to give the rest ofthe world a chance, some Spanish
(12:22):
love, but this bride I don'tknow.
We came to an impasse.
It kind of sucks to see it.
It was only a couple of months.
I got two moods For life, ortwo months.
That's the only way it's goingto go with me.
Myke (12:43):
So we hit the two two months mark and it was like time
to go um.
You kind of do one of those uhlike netflix.
You kind of give them, like,the free trial period, and then
they yeah, but she gave me thefree trial instead.
DJ Snazzy Seth (12:54):
Then she moved on.
I wish it was the other wayaround.
I wish it was the other wayaround.
Well, I mean, if you don't mindus.
Ryan (13:00):
Well, I mean, if you don't mind, us asking.
I mean, hopefully I'm notgetting too personal, but like
what happened, like what causedthe breakup, she was kind of
high maintenance.
DJ Snazzy Seth (13:08):
She didn't like what I would do for work and
also she found out about myOnlyFans page.
Myke (13:16):
She didn't like that you were allowing other people to
purchase visuals of you, huh.
DJ Snazzy Seth (13:23):
No, she was fine with that.
In fact, she showed all of herfriends' pictures of me naked
all the time.
Then what was the deal?
She just wanted to be on it.
She wanted to be on it, and Iwouldn't let her be in the
pictures too.
Myke (13:34):
Oh man so much for actually being an equal
opportunity.
Ryan (13:41):
Hey, wait a minute.
You said she didn't like whatyou did for a living, and that
she also didn't like that youhad only fans.
What is it?
She doesn't like that.
You're a dj either.
She didn't like that well, I dj.
DJ Snazzy Seth (13:51):
It's been slow lately so I had to pick up some
side work and it's apparentlylike going out and working with
your hands is like tooembarrassing her.
She's a little stuck up.
I tried to cook her dinner theother day and she saw the bags,
the grocery bags, and she waslike where did you get these
groceries at?
(14:12):
I was like I went to Aldi andshe went ew, that's where poor
people shop.
I was like Fucking Aldi, sorry,I like Great savings.
Ryan (14:26):
You like getting that quarterback, don't you?
Hello, must have gone Through abad spot.
Hello, huh, does it sound likeA car screeching From the open?
We didn't get this guy in awreck.
No, I didn't sound like thatyou sure we would have heard the
(14:49):
wreck.
Myke (14:51):
I think he went through a bad area.
DJ Snazzy Seth (14:53):
I'm gonna try to call him hello hello, I guess
we're into a rough spot.
I lost you guys there.
Ryan (15:03):
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah, I asked you if you likegetting the quarterback at
Aldi's.
DJ Snazzy Seth (15:07):
Oh yeah Well, I just like great savings.
I bring my own bag.
I don't even need a shoppingcart.
Apparently, that's where poorpeople shop for Miss fucking
Queen of the World over here.
Ryan (15:20):
Well, you know, obviously we hope you find something else.
And uh, you deserve happiness,you deserve love.
Myke (15:27):
Yeah, you're a good guy well, and speaking of monetary
income, you had mentionedwanting to sponsor the show.
How are you going to do that ifyou're shopping at aldi?
DJ Snazzy Seth (15:37):
oh, so now you think all these are for poor
people too.
All right, sorry, sorry.
I don't shop at Whole Foodsjust for all my fucking meal
plans, good God, anyway, Iforgot to mention I was trying
to get this snagercise thing offthe.
Myke (15:58):
What's the fucking word?
I'm looking for Jesus Christ.
Are people like swerving offthe road?
Ryan (16:00):
Are you driving people off the road, dude?
All we hear is car swervingsounds.
DJ Snazzy Seth (16:05):
It's distracting , trying to drive in a you know
room.
I gotta let you know what I'mdoing right now.
Actually, I bought a fuckingfood truck.
I'm trying to start my own tacotruck right now and I'm driving
it down the road and it's gotall this fucking equipment in
the back from the people whoowned it before me, and every
(16:25):
time I make a big turn.
Myke (16:27):
Fucking pots and pans fly all around in the backseat.
What are you going to call thefood truck?
DJ Snazzy Seth (16:29):
Yeah, I'm still working spitballing on the name,
but I think it's something todo with maybe Seth's Taco
Express Snazzy Snacks yeah, Ilike Snazzy.
Ryan (16:40):
Snacks yeah, snazzy Snacks yeah, I like Snazzy Snacks.
Snazzy Snacks has a ring yeah,that has a ring to it, right
there, snazzy.
DJ Snazzy Seth (16:44):
Snacks.
I can even mix that with myother idea for the snazercising
I was trying to talk about.
I'm looking for ways to makeextra income because it's not
really the good season Oncespring break was over.
I'm not getting as many gigsfor DJjing right now, so I
thought if you got a peloton orif you like exercising on the
internet, you can check in mylike my snazzercise channel that
(17:06):
I'm going to start out, but youguys could be sponsored on your
uh podcast from snazzy snacksonce I get this taco truck
running up hey, that'd be kindof cool man.
Ryan (17:15):
Yeah, we have a food sponsor and physical health
sponsor.
DJ Snazzy Seth (17:19):
Yeah, and you could even have an only fan
sponsor too.
Ryan (17:22):
Oh, that's true, yeah my goodness is that a thing?
Has anybody ever used theironly fans?
DJ Snazzy Seth (17:27):
and sponsored.
I mean I I have.
There's a lot of stuff going onright now.
I got guys, so yeah I can'treally afford to pay you any
money to run the ads yet.
Okay, but you know, it could belike a leap of faith, or I
could pay you in like editingjobs.
So if you need some extraediting done, I could throw on
(17:49):
some tracks on some of the stufffor you guys.
Myke (17:51):
Yeah, that was a bit new.
DJ Snazzy Seth (17:52):
And then you could run a couple of my
advertisements.
Ryan (17:54):
Hey, I do have a quick question.
Go ahead, I have a question.
DJ Snazzy Seth (18:03):
What's your most requested song when you dj?
Ryan (18:04):
at a party my most requested song.
DJ Snazzy Seth (18:05):
Yeah, I mean, usually it's an original.
People like to hear my oldstuff.
But uh, it depends.
I mean you gotta read the crowd.
My friend, I'm in miami so itgets hot at night.
So a lot of times, you know, itdepends on if I'm running like
a, what kind of club it is.
You know it could be like ifit's one of those cuban clubs
it's gonna be different than ifit's one of the gay clubs that I
like to play at.
So I like to do a remix ofdolly parton's peace train.
(18:28):
What you heard that one, youheard peace train.
Ryan (18:33):
I don't know if I've heard that or remix on the peace
train, peace train.
DJ Snazzy Seth (18:37):
Baby.
It's like a.
They can do a techno mix ofpeace train.
Myke (18:40):
It's fucking hot dude dude , it sounds like it ryan wasn't
paying attention.
In the past times we've talkedto you because snazzy doesn't
take requests.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Ryan (18:51):
You should have known that , right.
That's right.
I'm sorry, snazzy it's true.
DJ Snazzy Seth (18:55):
Yeah, I don't really take requests, but it is
a song that I play a lot,especially at the gay clubs.
I play peace train, but dollyparton if you put techno behind
dolly parton, you've got a wholenew genre right there.
Guys, I'm telling you it'sfucking slaps what dude?
Ryan (19:10):
I swear to god, go ahead.
It sounds like.
It sounds like you're drivingpeople off the road.
It sounds like you're in themiddle of twisted metal while
you're freaking driving.
What the hell is going?
DJ Snazzy Seth (19:24):
on.
I told you, man, there'sfucking equipment back here
that's fucking banging around.
Myke (19:29):
There's fucking Road Rash 3D over there.
DJ Snazzy Seth (19:32):
What the?
Myke (19:33):
hell.
DJ Snazzy Seth (19:33):
I had to go pick up the food truck in fucking
Fort Lauderdale, and so I'mdriving back to Miami from there
.
It's a fucking two-hour drivealmost.
Myke (19:42):
Well, fort Lauderdale, and so I'm driving back to Miami
from there.
It's a fucking two hour drive,almost Well, right now there's
traffic.
So, plus, you had to stop atAldi to get the Inventory to
cook with right.
DJ Snazzy Seth (19:48):
Well, I had to get some tortillas, man.
No, I'm going to make my owntortillas, because I watched a
YouTube video on that.
Oh yeah, you got to get themasa and you get the press.
I can figure it out yeah, Itrust you, man, you're pretty.
Myke (20:04):
Uh, what's gonna be your signature dish?
You got a signature taco.
DJ Snazzy Seth (20:07):
It's a good thing that I broke up too,
because she's cuban and shedoesn't make good tacos.
I need to date someone whocomes from a taco background uh,
are you?
Ryan (20:15):
I feel like you're trying to.
I feel like you're trying tothrow her under the bus now,
like.
I feel like that was a littlespiteful.
DJ Snazzy Seth (20:19):
Yeah, under the food bus.
If I could throw her in themiddle of the road and run over
her with a bus, I would.
She ripped your heart out.
It sounds like that's what shedid to my fucking heart, man.
Myke (20:30):
Oh man.
DJ Snazzy Seth (20:32):
It was the longest two months of my life,
so whatever.
Ryan (20:35):
Is it one of the longest relationships you've had?
I mean usually the only lasttwo days, so two months is
pretty long time.
Yeah, sorry I didn't mean to behitting you below the belt, dj
snazzy said there's not a kissand tell we know this uh, I mean
, I'll tell if you ask if yougot money or yeah, I can show
(20:57):
you some camera footage from mybedroom.
DJ Snazzy Seth (20:59):
you know, 49.99 a month, boys, that might be a
bit high.
I'm going to run a special soonthough, for 50% off for the
first 100 subscribers.
That way it'll be a discount.
But once you get on there, I'mselling all kinds of stuff.
I got some MeUndies that I'vebeen wearing that you can buy
off me.
You should look into gettingMeUndies as a sponsor too, man.
Myke (21:22):
That's some comfortable.
I should look into getting meundies as a sponsor too.
DJ Snazzy Seth (21:24):
Man, this is comfortable ass underwear.
Really, let's talk about that.
You want to talk about it?
They got all kinds of designs.
You got some of these.
Um, they got mass.
What are those mass lucha luchadoor masks.
Yeah, I can wear the lucha doorme undies and sell tacos in my
underwear.
Ryan (21:38):
Wait, are you going to wear lucha door mask as well?
Why you sell tacos in myunderwear.
DJ Snazzy Seth (21:43):
Wait are you gonna wear luchador mask as well
while you sell tacos out ofyour taco truck.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
I'm gonna do that's a good idea.
Myke (21:46):
I'm gonna take you up on that well, one thing we haven't
really cool for a white guy towear a luchador mask.
Ryan (21:54):
God, I don't know, dude, they don't know?
DJ Snazzy Seth (21:56):
I mean, I guess they don't know I'm white
underneath the mask I meaninsane clownpaws.
Ryan (22:00):
used to wear them all the time when they didn't have
makeup on.
Oh yeah, that's a good point.
So I would think so.
Myke (22:06):
Yeah, normally if I model my life after something, it's
typically ICP and what they do.
So you know they've always beenpretty solid examples.
DJ Snazzy Seth (22:16):
You know why even do the luchador thing?
I should just make juggalotacos.
Why even do the luchador thing?
I should just make Juggalotacos.
Myke (22:21):
Oh, there we go.
Yeah, what would be in there.
DJ Snazzy Seth (22:27):
Some Faygo, and they have Faygo here.
I could buy a fucking 12-packof Faygo at the grocery store.
They don't sell it at Aldi,unfortunately.
Myke (22:33):
Oh man.
I could get it somewhere elseYou're going to have to pay top
dollar.
Then, oh boy, well, we didn'teven get to touch on snazzercise
.
What the hell's going on withthat?
What's that story about?
DJ Snazzy Seth (22:47):
oh yeah, I forgot, I got distracted with a
food truck.
Whenever I get some time inbetween, it's doing all this
other stuff.
Uh, with the snazzercise, likeI said, I'm gonna play a dj set,
but you could like ride on yourpeloton, jump into my channel,
pay me a monthly subscriptionand I will make you lose some
fucking weight.
So, lay off the chunky shoes,boys, come play with me and I'm
(23:10):
gonna get y'all like down a fewpounds.
If you don't like to ride thePeloton or if you can't afford
one, you can always get on aYouTube channel I'm gonna start
start up or on the Instagram andthen I could DJ and you could
do like sweat into the oldies.
But it'll be stanzasize, notjazzercise and it'll be not the
oldies, it'll be the newbies.
So well, I do have the DollyParton remixes on there too dude
(23:30):
, that sounds hot, but there'llbe different themed exercises,
so you can do an exercise of DJCoward's hits if you want to do,
and then every time you finishyou could be like another one,
another, one, another one,knocking those fucking pounds
off man dude, I love it, dude.
Ryan (23:49):
I've never heard a more chaotic drive in my entire life,
and I'm being actually serioushere it sounds really peaceful
in here right now.
DJ Snazzy Seth (23:58):
Actually, I don't even know what the hell
you're hearing.
Ryan (24:00):
Dude, all I hear is tire screeches every 30 seconds.
DJ Snazzy Seth (24:06):
I don't even hear a goddamn tire.
I'm in the fucking car.
Ryan (24:09):
That's what's worrying me.
Yeah, I feel like you'rerunning everybody off the
goddamn road in this food truck.
Have you ever driven a foodtruck before?
DJ Snazzy Seth (24:15):
Negative Exactly .
Myke (24:19):
Do you need a special license?
License for that?
I don't know, do you?
DJ Snazzy Seth (24:23):
no, it's just like.
I mean, it's not like an 18wheel or anything.
I don't think you need like aclass whatever d, u, c, d, b, l,
c, d, l, I don't know.
All I know is that they told methat I'd be fine to drive it
back, so I got someone to dropme off and then I'm just driving
this son of a bitch back well,look, man, we wish you worst
(24:45):
case scenario of the business.
Ryan (24:47):
Go ahead, no, no, go ahead , go ahead.
Worst case scenario.
DJ Snazzy Seth (24:49):
What, what I was just gonna say worst case
scenario.
I can flip this truck and, uh,maybe I'll make some money off
of it if nobody wants to buy anytacos.
Myke (24:57):
So it sounds like you're about to flip it on this drive.
DJ Snazzy Seth (25:01):
Yeah, oh shit, I don't know.
I'm following all the safetyregulations that I can.
Ryan (25:08):
That you can.
Yeah, okay, great wording.
Well, look, snazzy.
Some of the ones that are meantto be followed.
Well, look, we wish you well inall your endeavors.
We do need to get you to edit apodcast here and there, and
we'll definitely look intoseeing about having you as a
sponsor.
One of our first sponsors islike a little snazzy jazz or
(25:29):
snazzer size.
DJ Snazzy Seth (25:31):
Yeah dude, we just need it.
Yeah, we need to collab on someuh commercials together yeah,
that'd be great.
Ryan (25:36):
And you know, obviously, we know we wish you the best in
your love life.
We know, know you'll find you anice Puerto Rican girl.
Yeah, I know, they're out therefor you, buddy.
DJ Snazzy Seth (25:43):
I already changed my mind.
I'm not Puerto Rican, theydon't make tacos but I think
about a Filipino girl.
Ryan (25:48):
Filipino really.
Oh, you're hunting online forthose, yeah.
DJ Snazzy Seth (25:52):
I jumped on an OKCupid and then I literally
after like two days, messagesfrom girls from the philippines
saying they're looking for ahusband so I may have to be
looking at overseas.
Ryan (26:05):
Wow, a little bit of that little 90 day fiance type of
thing you thought about being on.
That's a that's a tlc showwhere they they meet people
overseas and marry them overhere oh, yeah, yeah.
DJ Snazzy Seth (26:14):
Well, I mean, maybe I'll be on that show.
Myke (26:16):
That'd be badass yeah, right now you're giving them 60
days.
You give them one more month.
Yeah, then it could be forever.
What?
DJ Snazzy Seth (26:23):
about it.
Yeah, if I could do 90 days andthen I could try to get an
infinity date, fiance until Idie, because you'd have to get
married eventually but I'm like,hey, baby, do you want to be
engaged forever but neveractually tie the knot?
Ryan (26:39):
she would be the one with the prenup is what it sounds
like I got a prenup for thistaco truck well, look, man, uh,
puerto ricans, cubans, filipino,uh, we wish you the best.
That's offensive.
Yeah, really, how's thatoffensive?
Myke (26:57):
I'm kidding, it's not to say.
It sounds like there's a lot ofspicy senoritas down there,
yeah oh yeah, well, you know youdefinitely have a type, it
seems yeah, not white the oldreverse racism.
I told you I.
DJ Snazzy Seth (27:15):
I tried that for a while.
It didn't work out for me, sooh god, what is a while?
Ryan (27:23):
your whole life?
DJ Snazzy Seth (27:29):
too long.
Ryan (27:31):
You know that well, buddy, we wish you well get, start
focusing on the drive and startrunning people off the road.
DJ Snazzy Seth (27:38):
Yeah, I need to get off the phone before I
fucking end up in the ditch onthe interstate over here,
because this thing's like thewind started blowing from the
ocean over here.
Ryan (27:46):
It's fucking blowing the whole van around, so all right,
all right, buddy, we love you,man, be safe, and we'll talk to
you.
We'll reach out to you again,okay talk to you soon well, I
sure hope he gets home safelyright, jesus?
dude.
I don't know what was up withthat tires or something.
(28:08):
I don't know what's going on.
That fucking thing.
Yeah, shout out to snazzy.
Thank you for being a sportwith that dude.
Fucking christ, this thingstill smells it.
It smells cheap and thesearen't really cheap, are they?
No, no, they're not.
They're not cheap and it's likeI hate the bottles.
I fucking the bottles look likehairspray.
(28:28):
The nozzles on them look likehairspray.
I don't mind the bottles.
Myke (28:31):
I hate them okay.
Well, you know, dude, I'm sorry, but they're not bad.
They kind of have that same lelabo style vibe to it.
It's very, you know, like uh,industrial see, I disagree.
Ryan (28:44):
I think lay labo looks way , way tougher.
Well, yeah, I mean, it'sclassier, god, this tester, so
it just smells so cheap andawful.
Myke (28:54):
This is probably the closest thing to just pure
hairspray that I can.
I mean, at this point they'rejust like ah, fuck it, you know
what they could really do.
Ryan (29:04):
They make one called like hairspray, right?
Yeah, it'd probably be thefirst one At the salon or
something.
It'd be the first one thatdoesn't smell like fucking
hairspray.
It'd probably be amazing too.
God damn it.
I knew it was going to go thisroute.
I fucking knew it.
Myke (29:19):
Well it makes sense, though.
It's a barber shop and they fixyour hair.
They're gonna throw a littlehairspray in there, so maybe
they did hype it.
Ryan (29:25):
You know, hype that does it have a little bit of that
powder they used to slap on theback of your fucking neck?
Does it have a little bit?
Was that talc or something?
I don't know what yeah, I don't.
Yeah, I don't know it smellsclean, yeah, it's not like
offensive, but it's like so justcheap hairspray.
You just got a five dollarhaircut and it really shows yeah
(29:46):
, let's see what other peopleare saying about this dude, if
somebody doesn't say it smellslike hairspray, and we fucking
pissed dude, I'm just gonna hityou guys.
We don't need the whole thingfor but the price and popularity
.
You're looking at$160-something fucking bottle of
fragrance for this shit.
Damn Dude, get fucked.
What in the hell is that?
Myke (30:08):
shit.
So Linseed87 says smells likeshaving cream, and cheap shaving
cream at that.
No, thank you, I threw away mysample.
Ryan (30:22):
Just think, about that.
Myke (30:25):
Wow, what a sacrifice that guy made.
Just think about about what Idid.
Ryan (30:28):
I threw away the free sample I got, yeah, some old
bitch that sam's gave it to himor something all right.
Myke (30:35):
maria moccasina says jesus christ, wow, get it off me
cheap aftershave, me Cheapaftershave.
I don't think aftershave.
Ryan (30:45):
No, I don't get that either.
Well, here's the rating orpopularity 3.82 out of 5, 1,500
votes.
3.82?
Yes, damn Decent.
Myke (30:55):
Maybe this would go somewhere.
We just got to give it, I don'tknow, two days or something.
Mm-mm, that is wild.
Two days or something, that iswild, that is just terrible.
Yeah, typical barbershop thing.
You're gonna get some blackpepper, some lavender in here,
white musk, leather and tonkabean actually.
Ryan (31:13):
So I'm reading here it's been discontinued for a good few
years already.
Maybe that's why some of it's100 something bucks.
Oh okay, hmm, that was in 2024,somebody said it deserved it.
If it is discontinued, fuckingrest in piss.
This thing is terrible.
Myke (31:29):
I mean it is slowly becoming less shaving or less
hairspray and more of that kindof like this yeah, I'm with you,
dude, that is just, that's justnot my jam.
Ryan (31:50):
For that price point, dude .
Yeah, what is that brand?
I used to for a short bit.
I got into like the whole, whatis it?
The soap bar and the cup, andyou get the fucking weasel hair
or whatever the fuck it is.
Myke (32:03):
God, we need to ask doug lane for that actually really do
, but I used to use he's likethe aficionado with that thing.
Ryan (32:10):
He's resident specialist in the patreon well, doug, if
you're listening to this, one ofmy favorite scents was, I want
to say you can get them prettymuch at walmart and it's first
like p, like pareso or somethinglike that.
I don't know, he'll probably,but that was a good smell just
by itself.
I used to love lathering upwith that and I will say I used
that double-edged safety razorthing.
That's some of the best shadesI ever got.
(32:31):
I did for myself.
Myke (32:34):
Well, I don't have any sort of shaving that I'm doing
on my face.
You don't do this area righthere, well yeah, this area right
here, well yeah, but I mean Ijust dry with, uh, you know,
electric.
No, it's what, what is thebrand?
Like a little bick or something?
I mean I'm a little high dollarthan that, a little more uh
working with like an inch onboth sides.
(32:54):
Yeah, uh, it's, I don't knowwhat is the chic gillette,
whatever, okay, okay, five,blade the fusion five yeah.
Yeah, so I just go like a coupleof passes there, and I'm just
talking about right above mybeard, you know so it's not like
weirdly shaped, and then I justuse a beard trimmer on my head.
What's your neckline?
Yeah, yeah, I use beard trimmeron that.
Ryan (33:28):
I don't like to go like blade to the.
You get break out of you.
Yeah, yeah, get like what doyou call that?
Razor burn interesting.
You know what doug when youhear this.
Will you please put in acomment if you could recommend a
beard soap or whatever?
A good place to start?
Yeah, what is one of the bestsmelling overall quality that
you can just recommend?
Myke (33:37):
I think for him, though, because he does so many, that's
like saying what's the bestcologne to start off with?
You can't really go that route.
You kind of go.
Got to go entry point give us.
Yeah, you know what's thetraining wheels?
Yeah, okay, there you go,because I might get back into
that.
Ryan (33:53):
Do that.
I used to love that.
I did my neck and my cheek areatoo, but I would.
Myke (33:56):
I'd go full down with the razor I do miss the like, the
lathering up of that.
That's like, yeah, fuck dudethere's nothing like it.
That is a um satisfying thingit really is.
Ryan (34:09):
And it's like that, bro.
You know you're yeah, you'rejust getting it all in the
crevices and you're just like Idon't know.
Myke (34:17):
I see, like, what's you know fun about doing that?
Yeah, you know, and that's kindof what he gets into.
That's one of his things thathe really likes to do is, like
this is a me time sort of athing.
Yeah, some people it's in frontof a webcam during a break.
Some people just want a nice,clean shave.
That poor bastard dude Spendingme time in front of all of CNN.
Ryan (34:42):
He was like three days from retirement and he had to
fucking whack it like that dude,oh Well you're gonna skip it,
sample it or buy it.
Myke (34:52):
What are you gonna do, ryan?
Ryan (34:55):
Skip.
Yeah, it's a skip.
You know it, it's a skip yeah.
I have yet to be convinced by asingle Mason Margello fragrance
that has been like blown myfucking doors off this has got
to be the worst of them for me.
You think so, yeah yeah,because I do like, isn't jazz
club popular too?
And I don't think we've donethat, but I've smelled it and
everybody knows yeah I haven'tsmelled it but yeah, that's a
(35:19):
popular one.
Myke (35:20):
I feel like this should be a popular one.
But God, we got sent by MK, wegot sent Creed Viking, yeah, and
like, when you compare that tothis, not even the same boat.
Ryan (35:31):
It's an O dog, it's an O which we found out it's not in
stock.
No, that was another one.
Actually, we found out.
Aura, it's out of stock rightnow.
Aura, it's out of stock rightnow.
But when they carry theManhattan by Roja, 100 ml 196.
That's a good deal.
Myke (35:46):
So this is a skip for you too.
Huh Massively.
I can't stand this thing.
Yeah, I get where they're goingwith this brand, but why make
them smell so cheap?
I'm sorry there may be peoplewho are listening to this going
like what the hell are youtalking about?
These are great.
They smell cheap to me too butwe, we smell like autumn vibes
and it was like that weird sourtwinge on it that you were like
(36:09):
it's pickles, you know, and itwas, and that smelled cheap too.
Yeah, yeah, it was that wholething.
Man, I think I don't know ifmaybe I would smell this on
somebody and think it smelledgood, because that's how I smell
by the fireplace.
Yeah, there's a young gal thatI was working with and she would
wear it and I just kept goinglike you smell incredible, what
is that?
Yeah, and she was wearing bythe fireplace.
(36:30):
Really, it really worked forher.
Ryan (36:32):
Yeah, hmm, well, first random sample back in a long
time.
It's a double skip cheap pieceof shit and that's it.
Myke (36:41):
You just never know what you're going to get.
You know you said you wanted toask a certain question or
something you were going toharken back to the poor
gentleman that got caught withhis pants around his ankles.
Ryan (36:53):
No you had asked me.
You were saying like you reallythink if he's brazen enough to
keep his job and walk into town,he shouldhuh, he should have it
.
Myke (37:03):
And I'm like, yeah, I think so, man I'm like, even at
that point, even if they werelike, look, you're suspended for
a little bit without pay, takesome time off, you know, learn
how to use your computer andthen when you come back you'll
have your job I would be like,no, I'm, I'm gonna be looking
for another job.
Look in a state across thecountry where I'll never see
(37:28):
anybody that I work with you'reup for your whole life.
I mean, if I'm that guy and Idon't have some secret kink
where I, you know, likeexhibitionists or something like
that, like a legitimately gotbusted you're working for cnn,
by the way.
Yeah, it's a big time job forsure.
Yeah, I think at that point yougot to move over to fox news.
(37:48):
It seems like and I wasactually listening to a joe
rogan podcast god, I'm gonna getcrucified, um, and they were
talking about how it's funny,how people from the left can
screw up and people from theright will accept them yeah like
they're basically like hey,remember when, like um, what was
(38:10):
it like?
this is like cardi b or nickiminaj or somebody came out as
like anti-vax and and like, uh,people from the right were like,
yeah, she's my jam you know you, it's political football.
But so the people from the right, according to polls?
Okay, this is not my ownpersonal opinion, I could give
(38:31):
zero fucks.
Apparently, people from theright are far more willing to
accept somebody across the aislethat has messed up, yeah, and
then they go over and realignwith their beliefs.
They're willing to welcomethose people.
But people from the left ifyou've got marks on your
scorecard, you're not allowedAccording to this poll.
(38:52):
That was said on Joe Rogan, bythe way.
So again, I'm just stating whatI heard.
I'm not claiming it to be facts, but it does sound believable.
Ryan (39:04):
He's walking on broken glass.
Myke (39:08):
I'm just saying I bet that this guy could go to Fox News
We'll probably check it out andhe is now or some shit.
Ryan (39:16):
But for me first off, when he's talking about all the I'm
in therapy, I'm just trying toearn your trust again.
Guys, I talked to a doctor.
I'm learning how to be a humanand being again.
Myke (39:28):
I bought a chastity belt, it's like why I'm not even
allowed to touch it when I pay.
Ryan (39:34):
Well, I'm not one of those .
I'm taking some basic computercourses.
Myke (39:40):
Exactly.
Ryan (39:41):
I'm going back to PCIS and uh, dude, I mean, I don't know,
that's where I kind of get intothis like by the way, look, if
he's not keeping his job, why inthe fuck is he on cnn talking
about right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah I don't know.
Myke (39:58):
So he did get fired, legitimately got fired I don't
know.
Ryan (40:01):
I need to go back and look .
I just saw that part becausethis is under a subreddit called
Crazy Fucking Videos, I believe.
Myke (40:06):
Oh yeah, the caption was like sometimes you just got to
start over as like an Alaskanwild crab fisherman or something
like that.
That was the top comment, butstill, that should be the title
for it.
Ryan (40:17):
But yeah, I'm with you.
Myke (40:30):
Like me?
I, I mean me personally.
Yeah, I'd probably I don't know, I guess go live in the fucking
mountains or something.
Yeah, my statement off air wasthis is an incredibly vulnerable
position to be in.
Oh yeah, and if you, if yourintentions weren't to be a
fucking jackass, yeah, andsomebody just caught you, you
know?
I mean, I've had people walk inon me at inappropriate times.
Are you serious?
Absolutely what?
Ryan (40:47):
what are you clowns doing?
You're not believing?
Shutting your computer down orturn, locking your fucking door.
Myke (40:52):
They didn't walk in from my computer, they walked into my
dorm room.
Ryan (40:56):
I guess it was a room you shared and the person you shared
it with walked in.
Myke (40:59):
Well, I was dating a girl at the time, okay, and you know
I was doing a little what theycall a mercy jerk.
Ryan (41:10):
Until next time yeah.
Myke (41:14):
If you're going to spray it up, y'all just make sure your
webcam's off.
Oh God.
Warning this episode is for sure, 100% not for anyone
under 18.
Also, this episode wasoriginally meant as a Patreon
exclusive, but due to theopening topic the boys talk
about, they decided this shouldprobably be a main episode.
Enjoy.
Myke (00:19):
Hello fellow Patreons.
I'm Mike, I'm Ryan and we'retwo best friends going on a
fragrance journey, smellingfragrances and giving you
uneducated opinions, and todaywe're bringing back the Random
Sample Bag.
Ryan (00:36):
That's right.
We had a community chat.
You guys said, hey, bring backthe Random Sample Bag.
Hey, do this.
Hey talk about freaking vaginason that one show.
Myke (00:45):
Listen to this oh, oh, my gourd, go ahead.
No, go ahead, go ahead.
At one time you counted howmany were in here.
It was quite a bit, yeah.
Ryan (00:56):
This is still the original random sample bag, by the way
it is.
That's how lazy we are.
We have yet to fuck withanything in here.
Yeah, and we never did anythingwith it, but let it set to the
side.
Myke (01:07):
You know how we roll yeah, of course, nothing but pros
here, yeah and so we're bringingit back.
Ryan (01:13):
We're gonna reach in there here in just a second.
But you know, I wanted toreally start this off a little
bit kind of a twofer, a randomsample bag and a little side
quest here.
Okay, just a minute ago I wastalking to mike said dude, let
me show you this.
I wanted to get your reactionand so I'm going to play you a
little snippet here.
(01:33):
Okay, play away.
CNN Host (01:37):
In October, you were on a Zoom call with your
colleagues from the New Yorkermagazine.
Everyone took a break forseveral minutes, during which
time you were caughtmasturbating on camera.
You were subsequently firedfrom that job after 27 years of
working there and you, sincethen, have been on leave from
(01:58):
CNN.
Do I have all?
The Masturbater (02:00):
that right.
You got it all right, sad tosay, okay.
Ryan (02:04):
Okay, first off, yeah, yeah, this is on live tv.
This is on cnn, yeah, and Ithink this might have happened a
couple years back, by the way,but it's like I never even knew
this fucking thing happened.
I never knew.
This guy jerked it off, he wasjunking, he was definitely
junking right, he was junkingaway and apparently he was on a
(02:24):
zoom call in some meeting.
This is you know.
This might have been aroundcovet, who fucking knows early,
but it's like he worked for 27years.
He gets shit, can for jackingit, yeah, and now he's coming on
live tv after seven months ofbereavement or something about
it?
CNN Host (02:41):
yeah, I guess so so let's start there, okay.
Um to quote jay leno what thehell were you thinking?
The Masturbater (02:48):
well, obviously I wasn't thinking very well or
very much, and um it wassomething that was inexplicable
to me, I think one point Iwouldn't exactly say in my
defense, because nothing isreally in my defense.
I didn't think I was on thecall, I didn't think other
people could see me.
CNN Host (03:06):
You thought that you had turned off your camera,
correct?
The Masturbater (03:09):
I thought that I had turned off the Zoom call.
Now, that's not a defense, thiswas deeply moronic and
indefensible, but I mean, thatis part of the story.
Um, and you know, I have spentthis seven subsequent months
miserable months in my life, Ican certainly confess um, here's
(03:32):
the worst part of it, righthere.
Ryan (03:33):
To me, this is the worst part of it.
The Masturbater (03:35):
Yeah, go for it trying to be a better person.
I mean in therapy, trying to dosome public service, um,
working in a food bank, which Icertainly am going to continue
to do, working on a new bookabout the Oklahoma City bombing
but I am trying to become thekind of person that people can
trust again.
Trust again.
Ryan (03:54):
Dude, you just fucking jacked it man who cares?
Myke (03:58):
This was the conversation, Look.
Ryan (04:01):
Why is this on air?
Myke (04:03):
Well, I mean, it's an awkward situation.
I'm do you remember the personwho they had like a zoom of a
funeral?
And then they had people, theyhad huge screens.
This was like a big funeral,yeah, and they had huge screens
where people could join in onthe zoom totally makes sense.
Ryan (04:26):
Dead bodies got to see the people there right, right, yeah
, they could join in.
Myke (04:30):
And at one point a lady had um joined it.
She didn't realize that she hadkept her camera on and she was
taking a shower and like shavingher legs and stuff, damn.
And she and she was up on themain the huge screens at this
and this church was massive andshe's up on there naked during
(04:50):
this funeral.
Ryan (04:51):
Wouldn't want anybody to be manning the fucking computer.
That could be, you know, theadmin of the zoom.
Myke (04:56):
call Like pull that down.
Yeah, it's like some automatedthing.
So it's part of me is like,yeah, that does suck for
everybody.
That, you know, is like hangingout eating their sandwich or
something waiting to jump backon and some dudes you know.
Ryan (05:09):
ho-ho-ho mama ho-ho-ho mama sort of a situation.
It's like I don't know man.
I mean, it's embarrassing.
Myke (05:16):
I mean, should he get fired for it?
Yes, what yeah?
You still think he should getfired for that.
Ryan (05:22):
Yeah, If you still think he should get fired for that.
Yeah, If he's like hey guys, Ifucked up.
Guys, I've been here 27 years.
This is the first time you sawme jack off in 27 years.
Myke (05:31):
I mean, dude, I think it's .
Yeah, I don't think he's likeSignore doesn't help him at all
here he's fucked.
No, oh my God.
No, I don't think so.
I don't think he needs to be intherapy and earning back the
trust of the people and which,by the way, nobody wants your
food at the food bank.
Ryan (05:48):
We know where your hands have been Exactly dude.
Myke (05:50):
Nobody wants you to make it right, even if you touch the
gloves before you put them onyour hand, you know, yeah, but
my thing was like look anybodywho's like really taking shots
at this guy, take a long hard.
Ryan (06:04):
Look in the mirror.
I was like what man doesn'tit's like wait.
I'm just not going to vilifythis guy.
He served 27 long hard years.
Myke (06:17):
You're thinking he should have got some sort of slap on
the wrist.
Ryan (06:22):
I think him being put on leave for a while.
I don't think seven months, Ithink three, three to six months
.
I don't think you want to workthere anymore well, yeah, after
you after you've shown some.
Myke (06:32):
Well, if he's willing to, yeah, but think of how awkward
it is for janet to walk down thehall and it's like, oh, poor,
oh that.
There's that guy that I'm justsaying, look, it was.
If everyone agrees that thiswas like this, honest mistake
that happened.
Yeah, I think that's what itwas.
It was a mistake.
I think it was too.
I don't think that, like he was, did anything predatory.
(06:56):
It doesn't feel like that, atleast.
But, goddamn dude, get asticker for your camera or
something.
You know what I mean.
Like, come on, guys, like weknow technology at this point,
right, just so you guys knowwhen we do our lives.
Ryan (07:10):
Before we utter a fucking word, after we hit the in live
button, yeah, before we utter afucking word, mike gets up
calmly.
Yeah, he walks over, unplugsthe ethernet cord, unplugs the
microphone, unplugs the Ethernetcord, unplugs the microphone,
unplugs the connection to thevideo camera and then I
masturbate.
Alright, let's smell thisfragrance.
(07:36):
We got a good start here.
Myke (07:39):
Here's a bag I'm just going to reach in and I'll watch
you.
Yeah, just to make sure thatyou know the line.
He's got my back, all right, oh, okay, what is it?
Ryan (07:56):
replica at the barbers okay, this is a mason margiela.
Yes, I have a bad feeling aboutthis.
I don't know if you guysremember, but I don't have a
good running with mason margielafragrance.
Myke (08:09):
Initially I'm worried it's gonna have that hairspray smell
yeah, I guarantee you it is.
Ryan (08:14):
I'm calling it right now.
Myke (08:15):
It's going to, but by the fireplace.
Ryan (08:17):
I've enjoyed quite a bit you and everybody I fucking know
loves it it just smells liketoasted marshmallows.
Myke (08:24):
It smells so good on a woman fuck it, we're going live
hmm, you know, what?
hmm, I definitely get thatbarbershop sort of vibe.
Yeah, it nails that.
That's not bad in the air itdoes smell.
It's got that kind of cheapthing going on though?
(08:44):
Yeah, it does.
Is that just like a?
That kind of cheap thing goingon though?
Yeah, it does.
Is that just like a house thingthey do?
They're like every one of theseneeds to have a little bit of
hairspray in it, everybody loveshairspray, you know, growing up
I really did like the smell ofhairspray Certain ones, yeah, I
(09:11):
can get with you.
Ryan (09:11):
Yeah, um, your mom probably had one she used that
had a special smell to it.
My grandmother had, likeaquanet that she used for you
know a million years.
Oh yeah, fucking hate the hand.
Hmm, tester scripts are.
It's all right, it's and it'slike really quickly changing to
just being all right.
The initial verse is okay.
Myke (09:21):
I think we're gonna need to give this a minute, because
that's kind of what happens withcoming out of the atomizer that
like kind of needs a second togo away before you can kind of
get to okay the goods of it.
So why don't we do this?
I've got an ice cream over herenothing random at all about
(09:43):
that, yeah why don't we let thischill on the skin for a minute?
what kind of ice cream is hegonna tell him?
It's a halados, it's like a.
You know, we have like amexican ice cream brand and they
make is that only to here intexas area?
I don't know if it's only totexas, but they make like the
around here.
You'll get the guy who pushesthe cart oh yeah, and it's like
(10:06):
the Mexican ice cream, popsicletype things.
Okay, now you can buy them instores and I freaking love the
Mungo.
So Mungo, mungo.
So I've got that over here andwe kind of saw a couple of posts
from Snazzy we were worriedabout.
(10:26):
I think we check in with him.
Let this chill on the skin fora second.
Yeah, we need to check on ourboy.
Ryan (10:32):
All right, let's do that.
Hello, wait a minute, oh godhello.
DJ Snazzy Seth (10:45):
Hey, it's connected to the bluetooth.
Ryan (10:47):
Hello hey, hey, what's going on, buddy, hey, pal oh, is
this ryan?
And mike.
DJ Snazzy Seth (10:53):
He's here with me, yeah oh, you're on the phone
too.
That's weird.
I haven't heard from you guysin a while.
Myke (11:00):
Yeah, we were worried about you.
We saw your post.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:05):
Which one?
Myke (11:06):
The.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:07):
Arbatus mini posts.
Myke (11:09):
We saw that you're going through a little bit of
heartbreak.
Ryan (11:14):
Yeah, oh, that one.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:16):
Yeah, I mean, that was the most recent, I was
hoping you saw one of mybusiness propositions.
Yeah, we saw that too.
Most recent, I was hoping yousaw one of my business
propositions.
Myke (11:22):
but yeah, we saw that too.
We'll get to that.
Yeah, this was.
We're checking in on you first.
Ryan (11:27):
Yeah, that was the most recent post was actually over, I
guess a little bit of a breakupthat you went through recently.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:32):
Yeah, I'm a loner, now A rebel.
Myke (11:36):
You're back on the market, huh.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:38):
I guess you could say that, yeah, I'm on the
market, on the black market.
Ryan (11:43):
What led to the breakup, I mean what happened.
DJ Snazzy Seth (11:46):
Yeah, I've been seeing this broad for a while.
She's Cuban In Miami.
You know I like to date outsidemy brain.
Myke (11:55):
Well, I commend you for that.
Not so narrow-sighted, I seeI'm an equal opportunity
employer.
DJ Snazzy Seth (12:01):
You know, as far as dei goes, I'm all about it
when it comes to dating myfriends.
It's good to hear uh, yeah,definitely.
Something we definitely want totalk to you about is your dei
relationship hires well, I mean,I grew up dating only white
girls and I thought that's notfair.
I've got to give the rest ofthe world a chance, some Spanish
(12:22):
love, but this bride I don'tknow.
We came to an impasse.
It kind of sucks to see it.
It was only a couple of months.
I got two moods For life, ortwo months.
That's the only way it's goingto go with me.
Myke (12:43):
So we hit the two two months mark and it was like time
to go um.
You kind of do one of those uhlike netflix.
You kind of give them, like,the free trial period, and then
they yeah, but she gave me thefree trial instead.
DJ Snazzy Seth (12:54):
Then she moved on.
I wish it was the other wayaround.
I wish it was the other wayaround.
Well, I mean, if you don't mindus.
Ryan (13:00):
Well, I mean, if you don't mind, us asking.
I mean, hopefully I'm notgetting too personal, but like
what happened, like what causedthe breakup, she was kind of
high maintenance.
DJ Snazzy Seth (13:08):
She didn't like what I would do for work and
also she found out about myOnlyFans page.
Myke (13:16):
She didn't like that you were allowing other people to
purchase visuals of you, huh.
DJ Snazzy Seth (13:23):
No, she was fine with that.
In fact, she showed all of herfriends' pictures of me naked
all the time.
Then what was the deal?
She just wanted to be on it.
She wanted to be on it, and Iwouldn't let her be in the
pictures too.
Myke (13:34):
Oh man so much for actually being an equal
opportunity.
Ryan (13:41):
Hey, wait a minute.
You said she didn't like whatyou did for a living, and that
she also didn't like that youhad only fans.
What is it?
She doesn't like that.
You're a dj either.
She didn't like that well, I dj.
DJ Snazzy Seth (13:51):
It's been slow lately so I had to pick up some
side work and it's apparentlylike going out and working with
your hands is like tooembarrassing her.
She's a little stuck up.
I tried to cook her dinner theother day and she saw the bags,
the grocery bags, and she waslike where did you get these
groceries at?
(14:12):
I was like I went to Aldi andshe went ew, that's where poor
people shop.
I was like Fucking Aldi, sorry,I like Great savings.
Ryan (14:26):
You like getting that quarterback, don't you?
Hello, must have gone Through abad spot.
Hello, huh, does it sound likeA car screeching From the open?
We didn't get this guy in awreck.
No, I didn't sound like thatyou sure we would have heard the
(14:49):
wreck.
Myke (14:51):
I think he went through a bad area.
DJ Snazzy Seth (14:53):
I'm gonna try to call him hello hello, I guess
we're into a rough spot.
I lost you guys there.
Ryan (15:03):
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah, I asked you if you likegetting the quarterback at
Aldi's.
DJ Snazzy Seth (15:07):
Oh yeah Well, I just like great savings.
I bring my own bag.
I don't even need a shoppingcart.
Apparently, that's where poorpeople shop for Miss fucking
Queen of the World over here.
Ryan (15:20):
Well, you know, obviously we hope you find something else.
And uh, you deserve happiness,you deserve love.
Myke (15:27):
Yeah, you're a good guy well, and speaking of monetary
income, you had mentionedwanting to sponsor the show.
How are you going to do that ifyou're shopping at aldi?
DJ Snazzy Seth (15:37):
oh, so now you think all these are for poor
people too.
All right, sorry, sorry.
I don't shop at Whole Foodsjust for all my fucking meal
plans, good God, anyway, Iforgot to mention I was trying
to get this snagercise thing offthe.
Myke (15:58):
What's the fucking word?
I'm looking for Jesus Christ.
Are people like swerving offthe road?
Ryan (16:00):
Are you driving people off the road, dude?
All we hear is car swervingsounds.
DJ Snazzy Seth (16:05):
It's distracting , trying to drive in a you know
room.
I gotta let you know what I'mdoing right now.
Actually, I bought a fuckingfood truck.
I'm trying to start my own tacotruck right now and I'm driving
it down the road and it's gotall this fucking equipment in
the back from the people whoowned it before me, and every
(16:25):
time I make a big turn.
Myke (16:27):
Fucking pots and pans fly all around in the backseat.
What are you going to call thefood truck?
DJ Snazzy Seth (16:29):
Yeah, I'm still working spitballing on the name,
but I think it's something todo with maybe Seth's Taco
Express Snazzy Snacks yeah, Ilike Snazzy.
Ryan (16:40):
Snacks yeah, snazzy Snacks yeah, I like Snazzy Snacks.
Snazzy Snacks has a ring yeah,that has a ring to it, right
there, snazzy.
DJ Snazzy Seth (16:44):
Snacks.
I can even mix that with myother idea for the snazercising
I was trying to talk about.
I'm looking for ways to makeextra income because it's not
really the good season Oncespring break was over.
I'm not getting as many gigsfor DJjing right now, so I
thought if you got a peloton orif you like exercising on the
internet, you can check in mylike my snazzercise channel that
(17:06):
I'm going to start out, but youguys could be sponsored on your
uh podcast from snazzy snacksonce I get this taco truck
running up hey, that'd be kindof cool man.
Ryan (17:15):
Yeah, we have a food sponsor and physical health
sponsor.
DJ Snazzy Seth (17:19):
Yeah, and you could even have an only fan
sponsor too.
Ryan (17:22):
Oh, that's true, yeah my goodness is that a thing?
Has anybody ever used theironly fans?
DJ Snazzy Seth (17:27):
and sponsored.
I mean I I have.
There's a lot of stuff going onright now.
I got guys, so yeah I can'treally afford to pay you any
money to run the ads yet.
Okay, but you know, it could belike a leap of faith, or I
could pay you in like editingjobs.
So if you need some extraediting done, I could throw on
(17:49):
some tracks on some of the stufffor you guys.
Myke (17:51):
Yeah, that was a bit new.
DJ Snazzy Seth (17:52):
And then you could run a couple of my
advertisements.
Ryan (17:54):
Hey, I do have a quick question.
Go ahead, I have a question.
DJ Snazzy Seth (18:03):
What's your most requested song when you dj?
Ryan (18:04):
at a party my most requested song.
DJ Snazzy Seth (18:05):
Yeah, I mean, usually it's an original.
People like to hear my oldstuff.
But uh, it depends.
I mean you gotta read the crowd.
My friend, I'm in miami so itgets hot at night.
So a lot of times, you know, itdepends on if I'm running like
a, what kind of club it is.
You know it could be like ifit's one of those cuban clubs
it's gonna be different than ifit's one of the gay clubs that I
like to play at.
So I like to do a remix ofdolly parton's peace train.
(18:28):
What you heard that one, youheard peace train.
Ryan (18:33):
I don't know if I've heard that or remix on the peace
train, peace train.
DJ Snazzy Seth (18:37):
Baby.
It's like a.
They can do a techno mix ofpeace train.
Myke (18:40):
It's fucking hot dude dude , it sounds like it ryan wasn't
paying attention.
In the past times we've talkedto you because snazzy doesn't
take requests.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Ryan (18:51):
You should have known that , right.
That's right.
I'm sorry, snazzy it's true.
DJ Snazzy Seth (18:55):
Yeah, I don't really take requests, but it is
a song that I play a lot,especially at the gay clubs.
I play peace train, but dollyparton if you put techno behind
dolly parton, you've got a wholenew genre right there.
Guys, I'm telling you it'sfucking slaps what dude?
Ryan (19:10):
I swear to god, go ahead.
It sounds like.
It sounds like you're drivingpeople off the road.
It sounds like you're in themiddle of twisted metal while
you're freaking driving.
What the hell is going?
DJ Snazzy Seth (19:24):
on.
I told you, man, there'sfucking equipment back here
that's fucking banging around.
Myke (19:29):
There's fucking Road Rash 3D over there.
DJ Snazzy Seth (19:32):
What the?
Myke (19:33):
hell.
DJ Snazzy Seth (19:33):
I had to go pick up the food truck in fucking
Fort Lauderdale, and so I'mdriving back to Miami from there
.
It's a fucking two-hour drivealmost.
Myke (19:42):
Well, fort Lauderdale, and so I'm driving back to Miami
from there.
It's a fucking two hour drive,almost Well, right now there's
traffic.
So, plus, you had to stop atAldi to get the Inventory to
cook with right.
DJ Snazzy Seth (19:48):
Well, I had to get some tortillas, man.
No, I'm going to make my owntortillas, because I watched a
YouTube video on that.
Oh yeah, you got to get themasa and you get the press.
I can figure it out yeah, Itrust you, man, you're pretty.
Myke (20:04):
Uh, what's gonna be your signature dish?
You got a signature taco.
DJ Snazzy Seth (20:07):
It's a good thing that I broke up too,
because she's cuban and shedoesn't make good tacos.
I need to date someone whocomes from a taco background uh,
are you?
Ryan (20:15):
I feel like you're trying to.
I feel like you're trying tothrow her under the bus now,
like.
I feel like that was a littlespiteful.
DJ Snazzy Seth (20:19):
Yeah, under the food bus.
If I could throw her in themiddle of the road and run over
her with a bus, I would.
She ripped your heart out.
It sounds like that's what shedid to my fucking heart, man.
Myke (20:30):
Oh man.
DJ Snazzy Seth (20:32):
It was the longest two months of my life,
so whatever.
Ryan (20:35):
Is it one of the longest relationships you've had?
I mean usually the only lasttwo days, so two months is
pretty long time.
Yeah, sorry I didn't mean to behitting you below the belt, dj
snazzy said there's not a kissand tell we know this uh, I mean
, I'll tell if you ask if yougot money or yeah, I can show
(20:57):
you some camera footage from mybedroom.
DJ Snazzy Seth (20:59):
you know, 49.99 a month, boys, that might be a
bit high.
I'm going to run a special soonthough, for 50% off for the
first 100 subscribers.
That way it'll be a discount.
But once you get on there, I'mselling all kinds of stuff.
I got some MeUndies that I'vebeen wearing that you can buy
off me.
You should look into gettingMeUndies as a sponsor too, man.
Myke (21:22):
That's some comfortable.
I should look into getting meundies as a sponsor too.
DJ Snazzy Seth (21:24):
Man, this is comfortable ass underwear.
Really, let's talk about that.
You want to talk about it?
They got all kinds of designs.
You got some of these.
Um, they got mass.
What are those mass lucha luchadoor masks.
Yeah, I can wear the lucha doorme undies and sell tacos in my
underwear.
Ryan (21:38):
Wait, are you going to wear lucha door mask as well?
Why you sell tacos in myunderwear.
DJ Snazzy Seth (21:43):
Wait are you gonna wear luchador mask as well
while you sell tacos out ofyour taco truck.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
I'm gonna do that's a good idea.
Myke (21:46):
I'm gonna take you up on that well, one thing we haven't
really cool for a white guy towear a luchador mask.
Ryan (21:54):
God, I don't know, dude, they don't know?
DJ Snazzy Seth (21:56):
I mean, I guess they don't know I'm white
underneath the mask I meaninsane clownpaws.
Ryan (22:00):
used to wear them all the time when they didn't have
makeup on.
Oh yeah, that's a good point.
So I would think so.
Myke (22:06):
Yeah, normally if I model my life after something, it's
typically ICP and what they do.
So you know they've always beenpretty solid examples.
DJ Snazzy Seth (22:16):
You know why even do the luchador thing?
I should just make juggalotacos.
Why even do the luchador thing?
I should just make Juggalotacos.
Myke (22:21):
Oh, there we go.
Yeah, what would be in there.
DJ Snazzy Seth (22:27):
Some Faygo, and they have Faygo here.
I could buy a fucking 12-packof Faygo at the grocery store.
They don't sell it at Aldi,unfortunately.
Myke (22:33):
Oh man.
I could get it somewhere elseYou're going to have to pay top
dollar.
Then, oh boy, well, we didn'teven get to touch on snazzercise
.
What the hell's going on withthat?
What's that story about?
DJ Snazzy Seth (22:47):
oh yeah, I forgot, I got distracted with a
food truck.
Whenever I get some time inbetween, it's doing all this
other stuff.
Uh, with the snazzercise, likeI said, I'm gonna play a dj set,
but you could like ride on yourpeloton, jump into my channel,
pay me a monthly subscriptionand I will make you lose some
fucking weight.
So, lay off the chunky shoes,boys, come play with me and I'm
(23:10):
gonna get y'all like down a fewpounds.
If you don't like to ride thePeloton or if you can't afford
one, you can always get on aYouTube channel I'm gonna start
start up or on the Instagram andthen I could DJ and you could
do like sweat into the oldies.
But it'll be stanzasize, notjazzercise and it'll be not the
oldies, it'll be the newbies.
So well, I do have the DollyParton remixes on there too dude
(23:30):
, that sounds hot, but there'llbe different themed exercises,
so you can do an exercise of DJCoward's hits if you want to do,
and then every time you finishyou could be like another one,
another, one, another one,knocking those fucking pounds
off man dude, I love it, dude.
Ryan (23:49):
I've never heard a more chaotic drive in my entire life,
and I'm being actually serioushere it sounds really peaceful
in here right now.
DJ Snazzy Seth (23:58):
Actually, I don't even know what the hell
you're hearing.
Ryan (24:00):
Dude, all I hear is tire screeches every 30 seconds.
DJ Snazzy Seth (24:06):
I don't even hear a goddamn tire.
I'm in the fucking car.
Ryan (24:09):
That's what's worrying me.
Yeah, I feel like you'rerunning everybody off the
goddamn road in this food truck.
Have you ever driven a foodtruck before?
DJ Snazzy Seth (24:15):
Negative Exactly .
Myke (24:19):
Do you need a special license?
License for that?
I don't know, do you?
DJ Snazzy Seth (24:23):
no, it's just like.
I mean, it's not like an 18wheel or anything.
I don't think you need like aclass whatever d, u, c, d, b, l,
c, d, l, I don't know.
All I know is that they told methat I'd be fine to drive it
back, so I got someone to dropme off and then I'm just driving
this son of a bitch back well,look, man, we wish you worst
(24:45):
case scenario of the business.
Ryan (24:47):
Go ahead, no, no, go ahead , go ahead.
Worst case scenario.
DJ Snazzy Seth (24:49):
What, what I was just gonna say worst case
scenario.
I can flip this truck and, uh,maybe I'll make some money off
of it if nobody wants to buy anytacos.
Myke (24:57):
So it sounds like you're about to flip it on this drive.
DJ Snazzy Seth (25:01):
Yeah, oh shit, I don't know.
I'm following all the safetyregulations that I can.
Ryan (25:08):
That you can.
Yeah, okay, great wording.
Well, look, snazzy.
Some of the ones that are meantto be followed.
Well, look, we wish you well inall your endeavors.
We do need to get you to edit apodcast here and there, and
we'll definitely look intoseeing about having you as a
sponsor.
One of our first sponsors islike a little snazzy jazz or
(25:29):
snazzer size.
DJ Snazzy Seth (25:31):
Yeah dude, we just need it.
Yeah, we need to collab on someuh commercials together yeah,
that'd be great.
Ryan (25:36):
And you know, obviously, we know we wish you the best in
your love life.
We know, know you'll find you anice Puerto Rican girl.
Yeah, I know, they're out therefor you, buddy.
DJ Snazzy Seth (25:43):
I already changed my mind.
I'm not Puerto Rican, theydon't make tacos but I think
about a Filipino girl.
Ryan (25:48):
Filipino really.
Oh, you're hunting online forthose, yeah.
DJ Snazzy Seth (25:52):
I jumped on an OKCupid and then I literally
after like two days, messagesfrom girls from the philippines
saying they're looking for ahusband so I may have to be
looking at overseas.
Ryan (26:05):
Wow, a little bit of that little 90 day fiance type of
thing you thought about being on.
That's a that's a tlc showwhere they they meet people
overseas and marry them overhere oh, yeah, yeah.
DJ Snazzy Seth (26:14):
Well, I mean, maybe I'll be on that show.
Myke (26:16):
That'd be badass yeah, right now you're giving them 60
days.
You give them one more month.
Yeah, then it could be forever.
What?
DJ Snazzy Seth (26:23):
about it.
Yeah, if I could do 90 days andthen I could try to get an
infinity date, fiance until Idie, because you'd have to get
married eventually but I'm like,hey, baby, do you want to be
engaged forever but neveractually tie the knot?
Ryan (26:39):
she would be the one with the prenup is what it sounds
like I got a prenup for thistaco truck well, look, man, uh,
puerto ricans, cubans, filipino,uh, we wish you the best.
That's offensive.
Yeah, really, how's thatoffensive?
Myke (26:57):
I'm kidding, it's not to say.
It sounds like there's a lot ofspicy senoritas down there,
yeah oh yeah, well, you know youdefinitely have a type, it
seems yeah, not white the oldreverse racism.
I told you I.
DJ Snazzy Seth (27:15):
I tried that for a while.
It didn't work out for me, sooh god, what is a while?
Ryan (27:23):
your whole life?
DJ Snazzy Seth (27:29):
too long.
Ryan (27:31):
You know that well, buddy, we wish you well get, start
focusing on the drive and startrunning people off the road.
DJ Snazzy Seth (27:38):
Yeah, I need to get off the phone before I
fucking end up in the ditch onthe interstate over here,
because this thing's like thewind started blowing from the
ocean over here.
Ryan (27:46):
It's fucking blowing the whole van around, so all right,
all right, buddy, we love you,man, be safe, and we'll talk to
you.
We'll reach out to you again,okay talk to you soon well, I
sure hope he gets home safelyright, jesus?
dude.
I don't know what was up withthat tires or something.
(28:08):
I don't know what's going on.
That fucking thing.
Yeah, shout out to snazzy.
Thank you for being a sportwith that dude.
Fucking christ, this thingstill smells it.
It smells cheap and thesearen't really cheap, are they?
No, no, they're not.
They're not cheap and it's likeI hate the bottles.
I fucking the bottles look likehairspray.
(28:28):
The nozzles on them look likehairspray.
I don't mind the bottles.
Myke (28:31):
I hate them okay.
Well, you know, dude, I'm sorry, but they're not bad.
They kind of have that same lelabo style vibe to it.
It's very, you know, like uh,industrial see, I disagree.
Ryan (28:44):
I think lay labo looks way , way tougher.
Well, yeah, I mean, it'sclassier, god, this tester, so
it just smells so cheap andawful.
Myke (28:54):
This is probably the closest thing to just pure
hairspray that I can.
I mean, at this point they'rejust like ah, fuck it, you know
what they could really do.
Ryan (29:04):
They make one called like hairspray, right?
Yeah, it'd probably be thefirst one At the salon or
something.
It'd be the first one thatdoesn't smell like fucking
hairspray.
It'd probably be amazing too.
God damn it.
I knew it was going to go thisroute.
I fucking knew it.
Myke (29:19):
Well it makes sense, though.
It's a barber shop and they fixyour hair.
They're gonna throw a littlehairspray in there, so maybe
they did hype it.
Ryan (29:25):
You know, hype that does it have a little bit of that
powder they used to slap on theback of your fucking neck?
Does it have a little bit?
Was that talc or something?
I don't know what yeah, I don't.
Yeah, I don't know it smellsclean, yeah, it's not like
offensive, but it's like so justcheap hairspray.
You just got a five dollarhaircut and it really shows yeah
(29:46):
, let's see what other peopleare saying about this dude, if
somebody doesn't say it smellslike hairspray, and we fucking
pissed dude, I'm just gonna hityou guys.
We don't need the whole thingfor but the price and popularity
.
You're looking at$160-something fucking bottle of
fragrance for this shit.
Damn Dude, get fucked.
What in the hell is that?
Myke (30:08):
shit.
So Linseed87 says smells likeshaving cream, and cheap shaving
cream at that.
No, thank you, I threw away mysample.
Ryan (30:22):
Just think, about that.
Myke (30:25):
Wow, what a sacrifice that guy made.
Just think about about what Idid.
Ryan (30:28):
I threw away the free sample I got, yeah, some old
bitch that sam's gave it to himor something all right.
Myke (30:35):
maria moccasina says jesus christ, wow, get it off me
cheap aftershave, me Cheapaftershave.
I don't think aftershave.
Ryan (30:45):
No, I don't get that either.
Well, here's the rating orpopularity 3.82 out of 5, 1,500
votes.
3.82?
Yes, damn Decent.
Myke (30:55):
Maybe this would go somewhere.
We just got to give it, I don'tknow, two days or something.
Mm-mm, that is wild.
Two days or something, that iswild, that is just terrible.
Yeah, typical barbershop thing.
You're gonna get some blackpepper, some lavender in here,
white musk, leather and tonkabean actually.
Ryan (31:13):
So I'm reading here it's been discontinued for a good few
years already.
Maybe that's why some of it's100 something bucks.
Oh okay, hmm, that was in 2024,somebody said it deserved it.
If it is discontinued, fuckingrest in piss.
This thing is terrible.
Myke (31:29):
I mean it is slowly becoming less shaving or less
hairspray and more of that kindof like this yeah, I'm with you,
dude, that is just, that's justnot my jam.
Ryan (31:50):
For that price point, dude .
Yeah, what is that brand?
I used to for a short bit.
I got into like the whole, whatis it?
The soap bar and the cup, andyou get the fucking weasel hair
or whatever the fuck it is.
Myke (32:03):
God, we need to ask doug lane for that actually really do
, but I used to use he's likethe aficionado with that thing.
Ryan (32:10):
He's resident specialist in the patreon well, doug, if
you're listening to this, one ofmy favorite scents was, I want
to say you can get them prettymuch at walmart and it's first
like p, like pareso or somethinglike that.
I don't know, he'll probably,but that was a good smell just
by itself.
I used to love lathering upwith that and I will say I used
that double-edged safety razorthing.
That's some of the best shadesI ever got.
(32:31):
I did for myself.
Myke (32:34):
Well, I don't have any sort of shaving that I'm doing
on my face.
You don't do this area righthere, well yeah, this area right
here, well yeah, but I mean Ijust dry with, uh, you know,
electric.
No, it's what, what is thebrand?
Like a little bick or something?
I mean I'm a little high dollarthan that, a little more uh
working with like an inch onboth sides.
(32:54):
Yeah, uh, it's, I don't knowwhat is the chic gillette,
whatever, okay, okay, five,blade the fusion five yeah.
Yeah, so I just go like a coupleof passes there, and I'm just
talking about right above mybeard, you know so it's not like
weirdly shaped, and then I justuse a beard trimmer on my head.
What's your neckline?
Yeah, yeah, I use beard trimmeron that.
Ryan (33:28):
I don't like to go like blade to the.
You get break out of you.
Yeah, yeah, get like what doyou call that?
Razor burn interesting.
You know what doug when youhear this.
Will you please put in acomment if you could recommend a
beard soap or whatever?
A good place to start?
Yeah, what is one of the bestsmelling overall quality that
you can just recommend?
Myke (33:37):
I think for him, though, because he does so many, that's
like saying what's the bestcologne to start off with?
You can't really go that route.
You kind of go.
Got to go entry point give us.
Yeah, you know what's thetraining wheels?
Yeah, okay, there you go,because I might get back into
that.
Ryan (33:53):
Do that.
I used to love that.
I did my neck and my cheek areatoo, but I would.
Myke (33:56):
I'd go full down with the razor I do miss the like, the
lathering up of that.
That's like, yeah, fuck dudethere's nothing like it.
That is a um satisfying thingit really is.
Ryan (34:09):
And it's like that, bro.
You know you're yeah, you'rejust getting it all in the
crevices and you're just like Idon't know.
Myke (34:17):
I see, like, what's you know fun about doing that?
Yeah, you know, and that's kindof what he gets into.
That's one of his things thathe really likes to do is, like
this is a me time sort of athing.
Yeah, some people it's in frontof a webcam during a break.
Some people just want a nice,clean shave.
That poor bastard dude Spendingme time in front of all of CNN.
Ryan (34:42):
He was like three days from retirement and he had to
fucking whack it like that dude,oh Well you're gonna skip it,
sample it or buy it.
Myke (34:52):
What are you gonna do, ryan?
Ryan (34:55):
Skip.
Yeah, it's a skip.
You know it, it's a skip yeah.
I have yet to be convinced by asingle Mason Margello fragrance
that has been like blown myfucking doors off this has got
to be the worst of them for me.
You think so, yeah yeah,because I do like, isn't jazz
club popular too?
And I don't think we've donethat, but I've smelled it and
everybody knows yeah I haven'tsmelled it but yeah, that's a
(35:19):
popular one.
Myke (35:20):
I feel like this should be a popular one.
But God, we got sent by MK, wegot sent Creed Viking, yeah, and
like, when you compare that tothis, not even the same boat.
Ryan (35:31):
It's an O dog, it's an O which we found out it's not in
stock.
No, that was another one.
Actually, we found out.
Aura, it's out of stock rightnow.
Aura, it's out of stock rightnow.
But when they carry theManhattan by Roja, 100 ml 196.
That's a good deal.
Myke (35:46):
So this is a skip for you too.
Huh Massively.
I can't stand this thing.
Yeah, I get where they're goingwith this brand, but why make
them smell so cheap?
I'm sorry there may be peoplewho are listening to this going
like what the hell are youtalking about?
These are great.
They smell cheap to me too butwe, we smell like autumn vibes
and it was like that weird sourtwinge on it that you were like
(36:09):
it's pickles, you know, and itwas, and that smelled cheap too.
Yeah, yeah, it was that wholething.
Man, I think I don't know ifmaybe I would smell this on
somebody and think it smelledgood, because that's how I smell
by the fireplace.
Yeah, there's a young gal thatI was working with and she would
wear it and I just kept goinglike you smell incredible, what
is that?
Yeah, and she was wearing bythe fireplace.
(36:30):
Really, it really worked forher.
Ryan (36:32):
Yeah, hmm, well, first random sample back in a long
time.
It's a double skip cheap pieceof shit and that's it.
Myke (36:41):
You just never know what you're going to get.
You know you said you wanted toask a certain question or
something you were going toharken back to the poor
gentleman that got caught withhis pants around his ankles.
Ryan (36:53):
No you had asked me.
You were saying like you reallythink if he's brazen enough to
keep his job and walk into town,he shouldhuh, he should have it
.
Myke (37:03):
And I'm like, yeah, I think so, man I'm like, even at
that point, even if they werelike, look, you're suspended for
a little bit without pay, takesome time off, you know, learn
how to use your computer andthen when you come back you'll
have your job I would be like,no, I'm, I'm gonna be looking
for another job.
Look in a state across thecountry where I'll never see
(37:28):
anybody that I work with you'reup for your whole life.
I mean, if I'm that guy and Idon't have some secret kink
where I, you know, likeexhibitionists or something like
that, like a legitimately gotbusted you're working for cnn,
by the way.
Yeah, it's a big time job forsure.
Yeah, I think at that point yougot to move over to fox news.
(37:48):
It seems like and I wasactually listening to a joe
rogan podcast god, I'm gonna getcrucified, um, and they were
talking about how it's funny,how people from the left can
screw up and people from theright will accept them yeah like
they're basically like hey,remember when, like um, what was
(38:10):
it like?
this is like cardi b or nickiminaj or somebody came out as
like anti-vax and and like, uh,people from the right were like,
yeah, she's my jam you know you, it's political football.
But so the people from the right, according to polls?
Okay, this is not my ownpersonal opinion, I could give
(38:31):
zero fucks.
Apparently, people from theright are far more willing to
accept somebody across the aislethat has messed up, yeah, and
then they go over and realignwith their beliefs.
They're willing to welcomethose people.
But people from the left ifyou've got marks on your
scorecard, you're not allowedAccording to this poll.
(38:52):
That was said on Joe Rogan, bythe way.
So again, I'm just stating whatI heard.
I'm not claiming it to be facts, but it does sound believable.
Ryan (39:04):
He's walking on broken glass.
Myke (39:08):
I'm just saying I bet that this guy could go to Fox News
We'll probably check it out andhe is now or some shit.
Ryan (39:16):
But for me first off, when he's talking about all the I'm
in therapy, I'm just trying toearn your trust again.
Guys, I talked to a doctor.
I'm learning how to be a humanand being again.
Myke (39:28):
I bought a chastity belt, it's like why I'm not even
allowed to touch it when I pay.
Ryan (39:34):
Well, I'm not one of those .
I'm taking some basic computercourses.
Myke (39:40):
Exactly.
Ryan (39:41):
I'm going back to PCIS and uh, dude, I mean, I don't know,
that's where I kind of get intothis like by the way, look, if
he's not keeping his job, why inthe fuck is he on cnn talking
about right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah I don't know.
Myke (39:58):
So he did get fired, legitimately got fired I don't
know.
Ryan (40:01):
I need to go back and look .
I just saw that part becausethis is under a subreddit called
Crazy Fucking Videos, I believe.
Myke (40:06):
Oh yeah, the caption was like sometimes you just got to
start over as like an Alaskanwild crab fisherman or something
like that.
That was the top comment, butstill, that should be the title
for it.
Ryan (40:17):
But yeah, I'm with you.
Myke (40:30):
Like me?
I, I mean me personally.
Yeah, I'd probably I don't know, I guess go live in the fucking
mountains or something.
Yeah, my statement off air wasthis is an incredibly vulnerable
position to be in.
Oh yeah, and if you, if yourintentions weren't to be a
fucking jackass, yeah, andsomebody just caught you, you
know?
I mean, I've had people walk inon me at inappropriate times.
Are you serious?
Absolutely what?
Ryan (40:47):
what are you clowns doing?
You're not believing?
Shutting your computer down orturn, locking your fucking door.
Myke (40:52):
They didn't walk in from my computer, they walked into my
dorm room.
Ryan (40:56):
I guess it was a room you shared and the person you shared
it with walked in.
Myke (40:59):
Well, I was dating a girl at the time, okay, and you know
I was doing a little what theycall a mercy jerk.
Ryan (41:10):
Until next time yeah.
Myke (41:14):
If you're going to spray it up, y'all just make sure your
webcam's off.
Oh God.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.