June 2, 2025 • 26 mins
Fragrance expectations can be a tricky beast. What smells promising on paper doesn't always translate to skin—a lesson Myke and Ryan learned firsthand with Parfums de Marly's newest release, Castley.
The journey begins with high hopes as the duo recounts their pre-release encounter with this fragrance, where they could only sample it on a test strip within the store. Initial impressions were positive, drawing comparisons to LV's Imagination and quality Chanel offerings. But the real test came when they finally got their hands on a proper sample.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ryan (00:03):
Hello everybody, welcome to a brand new episode of the
Cologne Podcast.
Myke (00:07):
I'm Mike, I'm Ryan.
We're two best friends.
We're going on a fragrancejourney, smelling brand new
fragrances and giving youuneducated opinions.
Ryan (00:14):
Today, fresh off the press , we just got a sample not a
bottle, because we're cheap ofParfums de Marly's.
Myke (00:22):
Castley, that's right.
It's now out in stores.
You can buy it, this brand newfragrance.
But should you?
And that's the question we'regoing to answer today on this
episode of the Cologne Podcastwith Mike and Ryan?
Ryan (00:36):
But before we do, don't you have something really nice
to say about it?
Myke (00:39):
Oh well, I don't know, ryan, because I can't wait to
spray and smell it, but I havesomething that someone else
wants to say about it, okay, andthat's from Fred Grantica, a
gentleman named Mate you WantCoco, okay who says it's been
released in selected places.
Bruh, I don't know about weak,but it does not smell good.
Ryan (01:04):
First off, there's a lot of things you can tear down
about me, but I never willrespect somebody online or
offline that says bruh, yeah, Ifucking hate it.
It is criminally childish to me.
I don't know why I do a lot ofchildish things.
Myke (01:25):
Yeah, I'm not ignorant to this, but you're like, listen
here, good fellow.
Ryan (01:30):
Dude, I don't know there's something about bruh.
Yeah, I don't know, it justdrives me crazy.
Myke (01:36):
And you just feel like that's the type of thing you say
when you just woke up orfreaking hung over, or you just
hit your freaking thc pin likebruh.
Ryan (01:51):
that's already been released, bruh hey, bruh, don't
worry, it's not a cigarette.
Myke (02:02):
I can legally blow it in your goddamn face here, not
anymore, not in Texas.
On vapes, I mean, oh you'retalking about vapes.
Ryan (02:10):
Well, yeah, it's about to be.
Abbott hasn't signed it yet,has he?
Or did?
Myke (02:15):
he, I don't know.
I just see a lot of Texans onFacebook going way to go.
You loser Like they're pissed.
Ryan (02:23):
Yeah, let me tell you the state of affairs here in Texas
before we get into this dumbassperfume.
Yeah, this is why you tuned in.
Yeah, let me show you howforward-thinking we are here in
Texas.
Yeah, joe Rogan's down inAustin smoking big doinks in the
Amish.
Myke (02:38):
Big doinks in the Austin.
Ryan (02:42):
It's like I mean me and Mike are not really partakers of
Mary G Juana.
Yeah, thc gummies we had onetogether, one, yeah, and it
still frustrates me that we'retaking a step back.
Something that's made $8billion in profits that can be
taxed.
Yeah, they're just like hey, uh, sweet jesus himself wouldn't
(03:06):
pick this from the ground andsmoke it.
We gotta ban this people arethey're ravenous on it?
Yeah, look how high he is.
He's sitting on his goddamncouch watching old daughter.
He reruns.
Myke (03:18):
he looks fucking crazy look at him and he's stopping
please and eating garlic knotsyeah, fucking christ yeah,
everybody in my news feeds goingit's like it's less harmful
than a wine cooler.
That's what everybody keepssaying.
I don't know who first coinedthat, but everybody's saying
that now.
Less harmful than a wine cooler.
Look we don't really drink mucheither, but I can honestly say,
(03:42):
unless we're doing a patreonlive for the fireside chat
friends in which ryan was doublefisted.
Mike hard, mike's hard lemonade, don't make me sound too hard
up over here, okay that's funny.
We had a friend come in thestudio and they saw the empty
bottles and they said uh, youguys trying to get some
cheerleaders drunk in here.
Ryan (04:04):
Some friends brought it months ago and I'm like nobody's
drinking this shit.
I was kind of nervous.
I was like I'm going to drink acouple of these and they were
terrible, but it just drives mecrazy.
Hey to the adults in the roomgrow the fuck up and get the
fuck out of here, man.
Myke (04:21):
And let him have his gummies, y'all.
Ryan (04:23):
I don't need them, I'm just going like I know for a
fact me and you have taken ashot of whiskey or drink
something here.
I get a little bit more braveron that.
The time we took a gummy I waslike, hey, mike, shut the fuck
up, you're gonna get us kickedout of here.
Yeah, I just want to eat thisice cream.
Myke (04:39):
So paranoid.
Yeah, it's the worst to happen.
You're gonna fucking call thecops on us, man calm down scoop.
Ryan (04:46):
And here's, here's my.
I'm the king of time.
That's the worst that happened,guys.
It just drives me crazy.
I'm tired of things goingbackwards.
Look, I'm not trying to makethis the fucking liberalist
fucking state in the world.
I don't give a fuck about anyof that shit.
But come on, man, we've allfucking drank a beer or toked
one with a fucking conservativeor liberal.
(05:07):
We all fucking do it every oncein a while.
Get out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
All right, that's my rant ofsomebody that does not partake
but is equally pissed that we'remaking a step backwards and now
let's go back in time, justmuch like this bill is doing to
our one night stand.
Myke (05:25):
Review of O Splendide Chance by Janelle.
Ryan (05:30):
Hit the music, Todd yeah.
Myke (05:36):
One night stand review Before your liberal rant On
mind-altering substances.
What did you think of ChanceO'Splendite?
Ryan (05:52):
In the episode I referenced that it smells
similar to Ralph Lauren.
I was corrected on the Patreonthat it's not Ralph Lauren,
right, that I was an idiot forsaying it that way, but that
Ralph Lauren.
It's like a teal perfume bottle, yeah, and I think that does it
better, by the way, and it'scrazy cheap, but it smells
similar to that.
But then it just really got.
It just didn't get good.
(06:12):
It felt it didn't feel likeChanel.
Yeah, open to close.
It does not feel like a Chanel.
It does smell decent.
Myke (06:20):
Yeah, but it does smell on the cheaper side, absolutely,
and it does smell very youthful,yes.
One of our beloved Patreons, alady Denise, said that she did
feel like it smelled veryyouthful, yeah, and so then it
was off-putting for her becauseit smells like a teenage body
spray or something.
(06:40):
Yeah, and I think that'sbecause it has that overdose of
that raspberry in there.
Ryan (06:49):
Yeah, and which we were excited for.
Yeah, we were hoping I would.
I was hoping I was gonna havethis chanel.
I kind of compare chanel's kindof vibe to sometimes it's
stringent which I kind of like,yeah, it didn't really have that
and I was thinking it's gonnabe that with, like this tart
raspberry thing.
I was like that could be reallycool and it honestly was really
not cool so yeah, it's.
Myke (07:06):
I don't think it had any struggles with longevity or
anything like that, but it justit wasn't great, it was terrible
.
Okay, it's a skip.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to go witha skip too.
I mentioned on the episode, andI really do think that would be
something to consider.
If you're looking for a berrytype designer fragrance that you
can find at heavily discountedprices, you may consider the one
(07:29):
million lucky woman from what'sthat?
Paco ruban, yeah, paco ruban,and it has that raspberry type.
It's a sweet raspberryfragrance.
Have I smelled that?
I don't know if you have you.
You like it, though I do likeit.
It is very, very strong.
So a little dab will do you,okay, but you know a decent
alternative at a way moreaffordable price.
(07:51):
That's all we got for that one.
Let's get into it, man.
New PDM Castley, damn, spray itup y'all.
Ryan (08:02):
So a little backstory.
We've only smelled this indecant form.
We smelled it once before.
They wouldn't even let us leavethe store with it.
They could just spray it on atest strip and let us smell that
.
This is before the release ofit, like about a week or two for
the release, and the very firstthing I thought was oh, it's
kind of like imagination with alittle something else, right?
(08:22):
Do you think we're going tohave the same?
Myke (08:23):
vibe, I'm ready to find out if you'd spray the freaking
thing.
Ryan (08:33):
Isn't it so crazy we get to the studio and things smell
different.
Myke (08:36):
Yeah.
Ryan (08:36):
Does it smell different to you?
Myke (08:38):
I haven't put it up to my nose yet.
Whoa Smells way different,really different, than what I
remember.
Man, I instantly am not likingthis right now, really, yeah,
not liking it.
Wow, huh, that might just belike the first initial burst of
it.
You know how it has to like.
Ryan (08:55):
Settle five minutes, or so I'm not going to lie, I'm kind
of loving this actually.
Really, you're not liking thatman.
Myke (09:02):
The first spray out of the atomizer had this very rough,
almost clay-type smell to it.
Ryan (09:10):
Weird To me.
I was going to say it has aslight bubble gum, but there's a
classy undertone to that.
Usually when I smell fragrancesthat have the bubble gum thing,
they just smell really young.
This one does not smell youngsomehow.
Myke (09:25):
Smell my hand and tell me if it smells like clay mixed
with the opening of red tobacco.
Ryan (09:32):
First off, kind of not really.
But secondly, that smellsincredible on you by the way.
Myke (09:38):
Well, thanks, pal.
Ryan (09:39):
Does it smell the same to you like it does on me?
Myke (09:42):
No, it's a lot lighter on you.
God, it smells great on you.
What the hell We've mentionedthis a time or two before?
Guys, I have magic skin.
Ryan (09:57):
He's just putting lotion on all the time.
I'll like walk by the door andthey'll hear.
And it's just him rubbinglotion all over his body.
Myke (10:05):
There's literally two gallons of shea butter on the
oven, like the stovetop here inthe studio right now.
It's true.
Ryan (10:19):
He's a very lubed up individual.
Myke (10:22):
Okay, yeah, I like to stay moist.
Ryan (10:24):
You can't just corral him, he just slips through.
Myke (10:30):
I like to be hard to hold on, but what are you smelling?
Ryan (10:41):
Man, I really get a very.
I get this mix of bubble gumslash, sophisticated, classy,
masculine kind of vibe.
It does not smell likeimagination, like it did that
first time.
Myke (10:56):
No, I think honestly, and we had told ourselves this, I
think we were just looking forimagination out there, I am
loving this Testo strip, my skin, your skin especially.
Ryan (11:10):
This smells really good to me, but you're not vibing it.
Myke (11:13):
No, I'm not On the card.
I remember because we smelledit on the card in the store and
it does smell bright, citrusy,clean.
Yeah, it's good, it's good, itsmells good On my skin.
I'm fighting some sort of weirdsynthetic smell, really.
Yeah, it's calming down, butwhen it first hit I was like, oh
my God, this is terrible.
Ryan (11:35):
This smells so good in the best way, because it wasn't
that I thought it smelled bad, Ijust thought it smelled similar
to the imagination.
It was very mass appealing,safe, and I will still say it's
very mass appealing and safe.
But it doesn't.
It smells pretty unique, youknow.
Myke (11:50):
On the card.
It kind of gives me reallychanel vibes I can agree with
that a hundred percent.
Ryan (11:57):
But who does it better?
Myke (11:59):
Oh, Chanel, baby which, by the way, we just did a
full-length episode of the LoreHome Sport O-Extreme for the
Patreons.
That's going to be a Patreonexclusive.
If you're not a Patreon, it'ssix bucks a month.
We're doing heavy hitters overthere, baby.
Ryan (12:17):
Yeah, we have a great community there.
There's a ton of people inthere and they're such good
people.
Myke (12:21):
Yeah, You're missing out if you're not in the Patreon.
So if you want that communityaspect and you want to hear
episodes like Chanel's Allure,homme, sport O Extreme, go be a
Patreon Now that Mike's done,shilling his ass off.
It's amazing what we'll do for$6.
Ryan (12:39):
If the two-gallon drum of Sheaa butter is any indication
I'm slick and ready?
Oh god, let me hit you with theprice and popularity really
quick.
Okay, price for this bad boy islike in the 300, a little bit
(13:04):
over 300 for 100 oh 4.2 ml.
Myke (13:07):
Yeah, so 125, or they do a 75 mil, which was 270, 270,
yeah, yeah popularity.
Ryan (13:14):
This is like a 4.03, I believe, but it only has like a
small amount of votes.
Actually, I was really close4.06 out of 5, only 192 votes.
That's to be expected.
This is brand new.
Brand new, yeah.
Myke (13:29):
It hit the shelves, at least where we're at, two days
ago and you got a text from thepeople.
Yeah, as of this recording,yeah, I asked our pal Felicia
Shout out Felicia To shoot me atext whenever it's officially
available for purchase.
Ryan (13:45):
Yeah, she came through and I'm going to tell you this does
smell pretty good.
We'll have to get into thatlater.
There's a thing we're going totalk about later in our Skip it,
Sample it, Buy it part.
Myke (13:56):
Well then, why don't you talk to them about raccoons Ryan
?
Ryan (13:59):
Yeah, we mentioned this on our patreon last week, that day
when I we recorded that episode, I have been dealing with a
raccoon problem for quite aminute now, yeah, and this,
right, I'd set my ring.
I took my ring camera off thedoor and I put it in.
It's figured out a way to getinto this garage and I, like you
know, I put it there and I'veset this.
I borrowed this trap from thepeople over here.
(14:20):
I've got this laid out.
I can't tell you how manycountless nights this son of a
bitch has just daintily got intothe fucking thing.
Daughter of a bitch, yeah, yeah, it was a female.
It would just get in there andit would just delicately grab
every little thing out therewithout.
It was literally.
I've got footage.
It was investigating the trap.
I've got footage.
It was investigating the trap.
I've looked this up since.
(14:41):
Yeah, apparently raccoons arepretty tech savvy and so they're
very like, aware, like, hey,this is a trap, they're trying
to get me Right.
It's like literally pushing ondifferent levers and stuff on
this thing, trying to trigger it, oh, and then it texted its
(15:04):
friends and was like hey,there's Sam and Alfredo out here
for you guys to, and everynight I would get a notification
.
It wakes me up.
I'm like goddamn, it's fucking2 o'clock in the morning.
This thing's in there, it'strying to get in.
I'm like watch intently.
Is this the night?
It's going to get it Nothing.
And then she really pissed meoff.
I go into my garage one morningthis week and this raccoon it
took the biggest fucking shitand it smells god awful.
Myke (15:25):
I can now tell you guys insult to injury, yeah, not only
have you been feeding it likefancy feast, yeah, but now it's
gonna defecate in your spacedude, it really pissed me off
and I'm telling you guys,raccoon shit has a weird must to
it.
Ryan (15:42):
I was like fuck this fucking animal.
So your boy got hip.
I went and got a can of fancyface.
I barely cracked the tab on it.
I took an.
I went straight up macgyver.
I found an old shoe that nobodywas wearing.
It's fucking 10 years old.
I took the laces out of it.
I tied the shittiest knotaround this can, with it barely
(16:04):
open.
I put the can inside, then fedthat freaking shoestring all the
way to the lever mechanism soit could either step inside and
trigger it, but if it pulled thecan, it also triggered it.
Oh, and by golly, guys, you didit.
This morning I caught her andshe was the cutest fucking
animal I've ever seen in my life.
(16:25):
It was like, yeah, it washissing and coming at me, but
I'm gonna tell you it looks sosad.
When I opened the door I waslike, oh man, now look, just so
you know it's not being killed.
The people take it out further,like miles away from us, and
they have a little, uh,designated area where they can
safely release raccoons.
Yeah, so I mean it may find itsway back to my house, but for
(16:46):
right now she's living good.
I fed her good, she had water.
I even gave her blueberriesthis morning, so it's like she's
good.
What'd you name her?
I didn't name her, I shouldhave.
God, she's so cute looking.
Myke (17:00):
But you're like it's got thumbs so I'd be texting all my
deepest, darkest secrets.
Ryan (17:05):
Yeah, pretty much.
So, yeah, that's all there isto it.
I had to get rid of her, butshe was genuinely a pain in the
ass and sometimes you got to getrid of those pains in the ass.
Myke (17:14):
Well, if it ever comes back, I'll tell you what would
really entice them.
What's that to eat?
That would be chapushi, ryan,chapushi, chapushi, the fuck is.
It's a concoction.
Well, it's technically atechnique of how to eat chipotle
.
Oh okay, yeah, so I wasmentioning to you, I forgot.
(17:37):
A friend reminded me thatapparently I eat chipotle.
A weird way, I'm evangelizingthis way, by the way.
Ryan (17:44):
I hate that you like Chipotle, I love Chipotle.
I've told you this forever.
You like that and Pan Expressand I don't fucking get it.
Myke (17:50):
I've gotten the worst case of food poisoning ever from
Chipotle and I still love it.
Why would you go back to thatshit?
I mean because I no longer goto that specific chipotle that I
went to, but I legit it was sobad.
I wrote corporate, I'm not evenkidding you, dude, it was
(18:10):
terrible.
I had never been that sickbefore.
From the morgue I wrote yeah,literally an icu.
They're like oh my god, he,he's going to speak.
And I was like email Chipotlecorporate, please, but the
(18:31):
unique way, and hell, you guysmay do it too, but this is the
way you need to eat Chipotle.
Ryan (18:37):
His colostomy bag's full of blood.
Myke (18:40):
Yeah, that was the least of the symptoms that I was
dealing with, dude, I'm tellingyou that was intense, but I
still eat it, still love it.
Yeah, when you get one of themBig Daddy burritos, I mean you
pack it down.
Ryan (18:55):
Oh, this is what we have another beef with too.
Okay, because you love thingslike it's going to sound weird,
but might be loving thingsstuffed full Of meat.
Myke (19:04):
Yeah.
Ryan (19:05):
Yeah.
Myke (19:06):
I'm like I know we can fit one meat in there, but can we
fit two?
Ryan (19:11):
I'm like there's enough meat in between these buns, Nah.
Myke (19:14):
I'm like there's never enough meat in between my buns.
Ryan (19:20):
Talking about Jimmy John's here.
Guys, you just can't have, Idon't want to have that much
meat on my freaking bun.
Myke (19:26):
Oh dude, I'm like if I don't take a bite and there's
just meat falling out of mymouth, there's not enough meat.
Okay, you get one of these bigdaddy burritos.
By the way, I'm doing triple,double or triple meat.
I got to.
I need the protein.
Guys, I'm trying to balance outmy macros here.
Oh yeah, there's a lot of carbshere.
(19:47):
There's, there's rice, there'stortilla.
That's two carbs.
Yeah, I'm like I need at leastthree meats then to balance this
shit out Either way.
So you get your big daddyburrito and they wrap it up and
I just take a knife and I willcut that burrito in half and I
just hold it like a bowl andthen I'll eat out of the burrito
(20:07):
and then, once it kind of getsempty enough, then I'll just
kind of roll it back up and eatit as a mini burrito by itself.
And that's called gabushi,that's called chapushi, because
it's like chipotle and sushi ina way.
Chapushi, wow, yeah, and I'm Iguarantee you, any animal with
opposable thumbs would love toeat that fucking meal well,
(20:29):
considering what they alreadyleft behind for me to clean up.
Ryan (20:32):
I don't know, I want to give it, so you don't want to
hook it up with some chapushi.
Yeah, then I got me and theraccoon are writing corporate.
I'm good.
Yeah, uh, who's wearing thispiece of shit?
Because you know why I don'tlike it right now, why the other
day we walked out and I go, oh,and I said in a good way, then
(20:52):
I shouldn't call it a piece ofshit, I'm sorry, somebody worked
hard on this and yeah, theowner of pdm himself for real.
There's probably a lot of peoplethat will love this.
But we walked out and I waslike you know, this is kind of
giving me like a hair salon vibe, like the, the hair sprays and
stuff they would use, the stuffthey wash your hair with, like
all that in the air, you know,and right now it smells like
(21:15):
that, but like with your hairunderneath one of those you know
where the women have their hairand rolls, and so it's kind of
burning things.
Oh, you know, they got thechemical fucking fold all fucked
, folded up and they're sittingor anything.
That's what it's kind ofsmelling like.
Myke (21:29):
It's kind of getting a perm yeah, my dad got a perm one
time, mine did too.
Oh, that's right, and yourbrother yeah.
They look ridiculous.
Ryan (21:40):
If I find those pictures, they will definitely get put up.
Myke (21:43):
My grandma used to tell me a story.
At the time my dad got introuble because he's trying to
like acid wash his jeans orwhatever you know.
He's like bleaching them andruining his jeans.
She's like he nearly ate holesthrough those jeans?
Ryan (22:01):
Oh Lord, Did he walk around with a perm and like a
medallion in his freakinghamburger?
I'm sure yeah.
I don't know why that gotpopular Dude.
Myke (22:10):
I mean I just he would make his own V-necks.
I'm sure everybody's parentsdid this, but, like you know,
but they just cut the crew neckand make it a V-neck.
Yeah, I'm like cool.
Ryan (22:25):
Well, who would be wearing this fragrance?
I mean, it does smell good to adegree.
Myke (22:31):
Yeah, especially on the tester strip.
On the tester strip it's givingme big BDC vibes.
Ryan (22:38):
Hmm, I don't get that.
But I did initially, but I'mnot getting that right now.
Myke (22:42):
Yeah, it's not bad on the skin.
I hate to say this, but of PDMstuff, this probably smells the
most generic.
Wow, yeah, I agree, I've eversmelled from them.
I agree, and I know people willcompare other fragrances that
they make, which is so funny, bythe way, because I I've heard
(23:03):
this quite a few times that pdmis like basically a niche clone
house of designer stuff.
I won't argue that theirfragrances lean designer
wearability.
Yeah, I don't know of manyfragrances that they're copying,
other than I think percival islike leaning heavy into a few.
But other than that I will saythey do kind of have their own
(23:26):
personality, but this one justit feels really flat, it does
and kind of uninspired, honestlyhonestly, though, it's crazy.
Ryan (23:34):
My hand smells crazy, different than the tester strip.
Yeah, I'm, you smell mine.
That doesn't smell good at allright now.
What the hell I know I'm.
Myke (23:43):
I don't know what this is doing to my skin, man dude that
that's a weird one.
Ryan (23:49):
I've been asking multiple times about who would be wearing
this.
Who's your avatar for thisthing?
Myke (23:55):
I think younger dudes really young dudes high school,
early college years, I thinkthey're roping them in with the
Percivals and now the Castlesand stuff like that.
I think they're getting themthere, yeah, and then that's
their gateway drug.
That's right, yeah.
And before long then they'rewearing Habdan and stuff like
(24:16):
that.
Ryan (24:16):
Hey, I did like that.
Hey, I, I did like that.
Yeah, it smelled great, smelledincredible.
We tried that on while we weregetting this.
I was like fuck, I put on myhand worn.
I was like it smelled reallygood all day.
It was great.
Yeah, okay, are you gonna skipit, sample it or buy it?
What are you gonna do, ryan?
Look, I know the co-founderworked hard on this, so I'm not
going to really dress this down,even though I kind of did.
Myke (24:39):
But yeah, he is an avid listener.
Ryan (24:42):
But well, first off, he's avidly wealthy, so he'll be okay
, He'll survive.
Myke (24:47):
Yeah, but I will say they're going to sell plenty of
bottles of this.
Ryan (24:50):
Yeah, they're going to sell this.
Myke (24:51):
This is an easy skip for me, really easy skip the easy
skip for me, really easy skip,yeah, same, you know.
And our initial reaction to it?
We got to smell it like atester tester that they sent,
yeah, before they even had abottle of this.
Yeah, and we were impressedwith it and really hyped up
about it.
So then yesterday I didyesterday, we go in and we
(25:15):
sprayed that.
I go hey, we're about to go to ameeting, can we spray this on
the skin, go to the meeting andthen come back and we'll make
our decision.
Because the lady texted andsaid hey, let me know if you
want me to put a bottle bag foryou.
Yeah, so we spray it on, we goto the meeting.
We've run some errands In themeantime, we're smelling it and
(25:36):
kind of talking about it.
And whenever I got back, uh,just from the experience of
actually wearing it on the skinand being out of the store,
convinced me not to buy itabsolutely and I ended up buying
another fragrance that ifyou're a patreon, you know what
it is, and if you're're not aPatreon, shame on you.
(25:56):
If you're having troublesleeping and I'm wondering what
fragrance that was, well, youcan pay six bucks and find out.
Ryan (26:06):
That's it for this week's show.
We love you guys.
Wait a second.
Myke (26:10):
What Is this?
A skip for you?
I thought, yeah.
I said that Okay, skip for metoo.
It's not bad.
Now you cut off my goddamn exitSpray it up, y'all.
Hello everybody, welcome to a brand new episode of the
Cologne Podcast.
Myke (00:07):
I'm Mike, I'm Ryan.
We're two best friends.
We're going on a fragrancejourney, smelling brand new
fragrances and giving youuneducated opinions.
Ryan (00:14):
Today, fresh off the press , we just got a sample not a
bottle, because we're cheap ofParfums de Marly's.
Myke (00:22):
Castley, that's right.
It's now out in stores.
You can buy it, this brand newfragrance.
But should you?
And that's the question we'regoing to answer today on this
episode of the Cologne Podcastwith Mike and Ryan?
Ryan (00:36):
But before we do, don't you have something really nice
to say about it?
Myke (00:39):
Oh well, I don't know, ryan, because I can't wait to
spray and smell it, but I havesomething that someone else
wants to say about it, okay, andthat's from Fred Grantica, a
gentleman named Mate you WantCoco, okay who says it's been
released in selected places.
Bruh, I don't know about weak,but it does not smell good.
Ryan (01:04):
First off, there's a lot of things you can tear down
about me, but I never willrespect somebody online or
offline that says bruh, yeah, Ifucking hate it.
It is criminally childish to me.
I don't know why I do a lot ofchildish things.
Myke (01:25):
Yeah, I'm not ignorant to this, but you're like, listen
here, good fellow.
Ryan (01:30):
Dude, I don't know there's something about bruh.
Yeah, I don't know, it justdrives me crazy.
Myke (01:36):
And you just feel like that's the type of thing you say
when you just woke up orfreaking hung over, or you just
hit your freaking thc pin likebruh.
Ryan (01:51):
that's already been released, bruh hey, bruh, don't
worry, it's not a cigarette.
Myke (02:02):
I can legally blow it in your goddamn face here, not
anymore, not in Texas.
On vapes, I mean, oh you'retalking about vapes.
Ryan (02:10):
Well, yeah, it's about to be.
Abbott hasn't signed it yet,has he?
Or did?
Myke (02:15):
he, I don't know.
I just see a lot of Texans onFacebook going way to go.
You loser Like they're pissed.
Ryan (02:23):
Yeah, let me tell you the state of affairs here in Texas
before we get into this dumbassperfume.
Yeah, this is why you tuned in.
Yeah, let me show you howforward-thinking we are here in
Texas.
Yeah, joe Rogan's down inAustin smoking big doinks in the
Amish.
Myke (02:38):
Big doinks in the Austin.
Ryan (02:42):
It's like I mean me and Mike are not really partakers of
Mary G Juana.
Yeah, thc gummies we had onetogether, one, yeah, and it
still frustrates me that we'retaking a step back.
Something that's made $8billion in profits that can be
taxed.
Yeah, they're just like hey, uh, sweet jesus himself wouldn't
(03:06):
pick this from the ground andsmoke it.
We gotta ban this people arethey're ravenous on it?
Yeah, look how high he is.
He's sitting on his goddamncouch watching old daughter.
He reruns.
Myke (03:18):
he looks fucking crazy look at him and he's stopping
please and eating garlic knotsyeah, fucking christ yeah,
everybody in my news feeds goingit's like it's less harmful
than a wine cooler.
That's what everybody keepssaying.
I don't know who first coinedthat, but everybody's saying
that now.
Less harmful than a wine cooler.
Look we don't really drink mucheither, but I can honestly say,
(03:42):
unless we're doing a patreonlive for the fireside chat
friends in which ryan was doublefisted.
Mike hard, mike's hard lemonade, don't make me sound too hard
up over here, okay that's funny.
We had a friend come in thestudio and they saw the empty
bottles and they said uh, youguys trying to get some
cheerleaders drunk in here.
Ryan (04:04):
Some friends brought it months ago and I'm like nobody's
drinking this shit.
I was kind of nervous.
I was like I'm going to drink acouple of these and they were
terrible, but it just drives mecrazy.
Hey to the adults in the roomgrow the fuck up and get the
fuck out of here, man.
Myke (04:21):
And let him have his gummies, y'all.
Ryan (04:23):
I don't need them, I'm just going like I know for a
fact me and you have taken ashot of whiskey or drink
something here.
I get a little bit more braveron that.
The time we took a gummy I waslike, hey, mike, shut the fuck
up, you're gonna get us kickedout of here.
Yeah, I just want to eat thisice cream.
Myke (04:39):
So paranoid.
Yeah, it's the worst to happen.
You're gonna fucking call thecops on us, man calm down scoop.
Ryan (04:46):
And here's, here's my.
I'm the king of time.
That's the worst that happened,guys.
It just drives me crazy.
I'm tired of things goingbackwards.
Look, I'm not trying to makethis the fucking liberalist
fucking state in the world.
I don't give a fuck about anyof that shit.
But come on, man, we've allfucking drank a beer or toked
one with a fucking conservativeor liberal.
(05:07):
We all fucking do it every oncein a while.
Get out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
All right, that's my rant ofsomebody that does not partake
but is equally pissed that we'remaking a step backwards and now
let's go back in time, justmuch like this bill is doing to
our one night stand.
Myke (05:25):
Review of O Splendide Chance by Janelle.
Ryan (05:30):
Hit the music, Todd yeah.
Myke (05:36):
One night stand review Before your liberal rant On
mind-altering substances.
What did you think of ChanceO'Splendite?
Ryan (05:52):
In the episode I referenced that it smells
similar to Ralph Lauren.
I was corrected on the Patreonthat it's not Ralph Lauren,
right, that I was an idiot forsaying it that way, but that
Ralph Lauren.
It's like a teal perfume bottle, yeah, and I think that does it
better, by the way, and it'scrazy cheap, but it smells
similar to that.
But then it just really got.
It just didn't get good.
(06:12):
It felt it didn't feel likeChanel.
Yeah, open to close.
It does not feel like a Chanel.
It does smell decent.
Myke (06:20):
Yeah, but it does smell on the cheaper side, absolutely,
and it does smell very youthful,yes.
One of our beloved Patreons, alady Denise, said that she did
feel like it smelled veryyouthful, yeah, and so then it
was off-putting for her becauseit smells like a teenage body
spray or something.
(06:40):
Yeah, and I think that'sbecause it has that overdose of
that raspberry in there.
Ryan (06:49):
Yeah, and which we were excited for.
Yeah, we were hoping I would.
I was hoping I was gonna havethis chanel.
I kind of compare chanel's kindof vibe to sometimes it's
stringent which I kind of like,yeah, it didn't really have that
and I was thinking it's gonnabe that with, like this tart
raspberry thing.
I was like that could be reallycool and it honestly was really
not cool so yeah, it's.
Myke (07:06):
I don't think it had any struggles with longevity or
anything like that, but it justit wasn't great, it was terrible
.
Okay, it's a skip.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to go witha skip too.
I mentioned on the episode, andI really do think that would be
something to consider.
If you're looking for a berrytype designer fragrance that you
can find at heavily discountedprices, you may consider the one
(07:29):
million lucky woman from what'sthat?
Paco ruban, yeah, paco ruban,and it has that raspberry type.
It's a sweet raspberryfragrance.
Have I smelled that?
I don't know if you have you.
You like it, though I do likeit.
It is very, very strong.
So a little dab will do you,okay, but you know a decent
alternative at a way moreaffordable price.
(07:51):
That's all we got for that one.
Let's get into it, man.
New PDM Castley, damn, spray itup y'all.
Ryan (08:02):
So a little backstory.
We've only smelled this indecant form.
We smelled it once before.
They wouldn't even let us leavethe store with it.
They could just spray it on atest strip and let us smell that
.
This is before the release ofit, like about a week or two for
the release, and the very firstthing I thought was oh, it's
kind of like imagination with alittle something else, right?
(08:22):
Do you think we're going tohave the same?
Myke (08:23):
vibe, I'm ready to find out if you'd spray the freaking
thing.
Ryan (08:33):
Isn't it so crazy we get to the studio and things smell
different.
Myke (08:36):
Yeah.
Ryan (08:36):
Does it smell different to you?
Myke (08:38):
I haven't put it up to my nose yet.
Whoa Smells way different,really different, than what I
remember.
Man, I instantly am not likingthis right now, really, yeah,
not liking it.
Wow, huh, that might just belike the first initial burst of
it.
You know how it has to like.
Ryan (08:55):
Settle five minutes, or so I'm not going to lie, I'm kind
of loving this actually.
Really, you're not liking thatman.
Myke (09:02):
The first spray out of the atomizer had this very rough,
almost clay-type smell to it.
Ryan (09:10):
Weird To me.
I was going to say it has aslight bubble gum, but there's a
classy undertone to that.
Usually when I smell fragrancesthat have the bubble gum thing,
they just smell really young.
This one does not smell youngsomehow.
Myke (09:25):
Smell my hand and tell me if it smells like clay mixed
with the opening of red tobacco.
Ryan (09:32):
First off, kind of not really.
But secondly, that smellsincredible on you by the way.
Myke (09:38):
Well, thanks, pal.
Ryan (09:39):
Does it smell the same to you like it does on me?
Myke (09:42):
No, it's a lot lighter on you.
God, it smells great on you.
What the hell We've mentionedthis a time or two before?
Guys, I have magic skin.
Ryan (09:57):
He's just putting lotion on all the time.
I'll like walk by the door andthey'll hear.
And it's just him rubbinglotion all over his body.
Myke (10:05):
There's literally two gallons of shea butter on the
oven, like the stovetop here inthe studio right now.
It's true.
Ryan (10:19):
He's a very lubed up individual.
Myke (10:22):
Okay, yeah, I like to stay moist.
Ryan (10:24):
You can't just corral him, he just slips through.
Myke (10:30):
I like to be hard to hold on, but what are you smelling?
Ryan (10:41):
Man, I really get a very.
I get this mix of bubble gumslash, sophisticated, classy,
masculine kind of vibe.
It does not smell likeimagination, like it did that
first time.
Myke (10:56):
No, I think honestly, and we had told ourselves this, I
think we were just looking forimagination out there, I am
loving this Testo strip, my skin, your skin especially.
Ryan (11:10):
This smells really good to me, but you're not vibing it.
Myke (11:13):
No, I'm not On the card.
I remember because we smelledit on the card in the store and
it does smell bright, citrusy,clean.
Yeah, it's good, it's good, itsmells good On my skin.
I'm fighting some sort of weirdsynthetic smell, really.
Yeah, it's calming down, butwhen it first hit I was like, oh
my God, this is terrible.
Ryan (11:35):
This smells so good in the best way, because it wasn't
that I thought it smelled bad, Ijust thought it smelled similar
to the imagination.
It was very mass appealing,safe, and I will still say it's
very mass appealing and safe.
But it doesn't.
It smells pretty unique, youknow.
Myke (11:50):
On the card.
It kind of gives me reallychanel vibes I can agree with
that a hundred percent.
Ryan (11:57):
But who does it better?
Myke (11:59):
Oh, Chanel, baby which, by the way, we just did a
full-length episode of the LoreHome Sport O-Extreme for the
Patreons.
That's going to be a Patreonexclusive.
If you're not a Patreon, it'ssix bucks a month.
We're doing heavy hitters overthere, baby.
Ryan (12:17):
Yeah, we have a great community there.
There's a ton of people inthere and they're such good
people.
Myke (12:21):
Yeah, You're missing out if you're not in the Patreon.
So if you want that communityaspect and you want to hear
episodes like Chanel's Allure,homme, sport O Extreme, go be a
Patreon Now that Mike's done,shilling his ass off.
It's amazing what we'll do for$6.
Ryan (12:39):
If the two-gallon drum of Sheaa butter is any indication
I'm slick and ready?
Oh god, let me hit you with theprice and popularity really
quick.
Okay, price for this bad boy islike in the 300, a little bit
(13:04):
over 300 for 100 oh 4.2 ml.
Myke (13:07):
Yeah, so 125, or they do a 75 mil, which was 270, 270,
yeah, yeah popularity.
Ryan (13:14):
This is like a 4.03, I believe, but it only has like a
small amount of votes.
Actually, I was really close4.06 out of 5, only 192 votes.
That's to be expected.
This is brand new.
Brand new, yeah.
Myke (13:29):
It hit the shelves, at least where we're at, two days
ago and you got a text from thepeople.
Yeah, as of this recording,yeah, I asked our pal Felicia
Shout out Felicia To shoot me atext whenever it's officially
available for purchase.
Ryan (13:45):
Yeah, she came through and I'm going to tell you this does
smell pretty good.
We'll have to get into thatlater.
There's a thing we're going totalk about later in our Skip it,
Sample it, Buy it part.
Myke (13:56):
Well then, why don't you talk to them about raccoons Ryan
?
Ryan (13:59):
Yeah, we mentioned this on our patreon last week, that day
when I we recorded that episode, I have been dealing with a
raccoon problem for quite aminute now, yeah, and this,
right, I'd set my ring.
I took my ring camera off thedoor and I put it in.
It's figured out a way to getinto this garage and I, like you
know, I put it there and I'veset this.
I borrowed this trap from thepeople over here.
(14:20):
I've got this laid out.
I can't tell you how manycountless nights this son of a
bitch has just daintily got intothe fucking thing.
Daughter of a bitch, yeah, yeah, it was a female.
It would just get in there andit would just delicately grab
every little thing out therewithout.
It was literally.
I've got footage.
It was investigating the trap.
I've got footage.
It was investigating the trap.
I've looked this up since.
(14:41):
Yeah, apparently raccoons arepretty tech savvy and so they're
very like, aware, like, hey,this is a trap, they're trying
to get me Right.
It's like literally pushing ondifferent levers and stuff on
this thing, trying to trigger it, oh, and then it texted its
(15:04):
friends and was like hey,there's Sam and Alfredo out here
for you guys to, and everynight I would get a notification
.
It wakes me up.
I'm like goddamn, it's fucking2 o'clock in the morning.
This thing's in there, it'strying to get in.
I'm like watch intently.
Is this the night?
It's going to get it Nothing.
And then she really pissed meoff.
I go into my garage one morningthis week and this raccoon it
took the biggest fucking shitand it smells god awful.
Myke (15:25):
I can now tell you guys insult to injury, yeah, not only
have you been feeding it likefancy feast, yeah, but now it's
gonna defecate in your spacedude, it really pissed me off
and I'm telling you guys,raccoon shit has a weird must to
it.
Ryan (15:42):
I was like fuck this fucking animal.
So your boy got hip.
I went and got a can of fancyface.
I barely cracked the tab on it.
I took an.
I went straight up macgyver.
I found an old shoe that nobodywas wearing.
It's fucking 10 years old.
I took the laces out of it.
I tied the shittiest knotaround this can, with it barely
(16:04):
open.
I put the can inside, then fedthat freaking shoestring all the
way to the lever mechanism soit could either step inside and
trigger it, but if it pulled thecan, it also triggered it.
Oh, and by golly, guys, you didit.
This morning I caught her andshe was the cutest fucking
animal I've ever seen in my life.
(16:25):
It was like, yeah, it washissing and coming at me, but
I'm gonna tell you it looks sosad.
When I opened the door I waslike, oh man, now look, just so
you know it's not being killed.
The people take it out further,like miles away from us, and
they have a little, uh,designated area where they can
safely release raccoons.
Yeah, so I mean it may find itsway back to my house, but for
(16:46):
right now she's living good.
I fed her good, she had water.
I even gave her blueberriesthis morning, so it's like she's
good.
What'd you name her?
I didn't name her, I shouldhave.
God, she's so cute looking.
Myke (17:00):
But you're like it's got thumbs so I'd be texting all my
deepest, darkest secrets.
Ryan (17:05):
Yeah, pretty much.
So, yeah, that's all there isto it.
I had to get rid of her, butshe was genuinely a pain in the
ass and sometimes you got to getrid of those pains in the ass.
Myke (17:14):
Well, if it ever comes back, I'll tell you what would
really entice them.
What's that to eat?
That would be chapushi, ryan,chapushi, chapushi, the fuck is.
It's a concoction.
Well, it's technically atechnique of how to eat chipotle
.
Oh okay, yeah, so I wasmentioning to you, I forgot.
(17:37):
A friend reminded me thatapparently I eat chipotle.
A weird way, I'm evangelizingthis way, by the way.
Ryan (17:44):
I hate that you like Chipotle, I love Chipotle.
I've told you this forever.
You like that and Pan Expressand I don't fucking get it.
Myke (17:50):
I've gotten the worst case of food poisoning ever from
Chipotle and I still love it.
Why would you go back to thatshit?
I mean because I no longer goto that specific chipotle that I
went to, but I legit it was sobad.
I wrote corporate, I'm not evenkidding you, dude, it was
(18:10):
terrible.
I had never been that sickbefore.
From the morgue I wrote yeah,literally an icu.
They're like oh my god, he,he's going to speak.
And I was like email Chipotlecorporate, please, but the
(18:31):
unique way, and hell, you guysmay do it too, but this is the
way you need to eat Chipotle.
Ryan (18:37):
His colostomy bag's full of blood.
Myke (18:40):
Yeah, that was the least of the symptoms that I was
dealing with, dude, I'm tellingyou that was intense, but I
still eat it, still love it.
Yeah, when you get one of themBig Daddy burritos, I mean you
pack it down.
Ryan (18:55):
Oh, this is what we have another beef with too.
Okay, because you love thingslike it's going to sound weird,
but might be loving thingsstuffed full Of meat.
Myke (19:04):
Yeah.
Ryan (19:05):
Yeah.
Myke (19:06):
I'm like I know we can fit one meat in there, but can we
fit two?
Ryan (19:11):
I'm like there's enough meat in between these buns, Nah.
Myke (19:14):
I'm like there's never enough meat in between my buns.
Ryan (19:20):
Talking about Jimmy John's here.
Guys, you just can't have, Idon't want to have that much
meat on my freaking bun.
Myke (19:26):
Oh dude, I'm like if I don't take a bite and there's
just meat falling out of mymouth, there's not enough meat.
Okay, you get one of these bigdaddy burritos.
By the way, I'm doing triple,double or triple meat.
I got to.
I need the protein.
Guys, I'm trying to balance outmy macros here.
Oh yeah, there's a lot of carbshere.
(19:47):
There's, there's rice, there'stortilla.
That's two carbs.
Yeah, I'm like I need at leastthree meats then to balance this
shit out Either way.
So you get your big daddyburrito and they wrap it up and
I just take a knife and I willcut that burrito in half and I
just hold it like a bowl andthen I'll eat out of the burrito
(20:07):
and then, once it kind of getsempty enough, then I'll just
kind of roll it back up and eatit as a mini burrito by itself.
And that's called gabushi,that's called chapushi, because
it's like chipotle and sushi ina way.
Chapushi, wow, yeah, and I'm Iguarantee you, any animal with
opposable thumbs would love toeat that fucking meal well,
(20:29):
considering what they alreadyleft behind for me to clean up.
Ryan (20:32):
I don't know, I want to give it, so you don't want to
hook it up with some chapushi.
Yeah, then I got me and theraccoon are writing corporate.
I'm good.
Yeah, uh, who's wearing thispiece of shit?
Because you know why I don'tlike it right now, why the other
day we walked out and I go, oh,and I said in a good way, then
(20:52):
I shouldn't call it a piece ofshit, I'm sorry, somebody worked
hard on this and yeah, theowner of pdm himself for real.
There's probably a lot of peoplethat will love this.
But we walked out and I waslike you know, this is kind of
giving me like a hair salon vibe, like the, the hair sprays and
stuff they would use, the stuffthey wash your hair with, like
all that in the air, you know,and right now it smells like
(21:15):
that, but like with your hairunderneath one of those you know
where the women have their hairand rolls, and so it's kind of
burning things.
Oh, you know, they got thechemical fucking fold all fucked
, folded up and they're sittingor anything.
That's what it's kind ofsmelling like.
Myke (21:29):
It's kind of getting a perm yeah, my dad got a perm one
time, mine did too.
Oh, that's right, and yourbrother yeah.
They look ridiculous.
Ryan (21:40):
If I find those pictures, they will definitely get put up.
Myke (21:43):
My grandma used to tell me a story.
At the time my dad got introuble because he's trying to
like acid wash his jeans orwhatever you know.
He's like bleaching them andruining his jeans.
She's like he nearly ate holesthrough those jeans?
Ryan (22:01):
Oh Lord, Did he walk around with a perm and like a
medallion in his freakinghamburger?
I'm sure yeah.
I don't know why that gotpopular Dude.
Myke (22:10):
I mean I just he would make his own V-necks.
I'm sure everybody's parentsdid this, but, like you know,
but they just cut the crew neckand make it a V-neck.
Yeah, I'm like cool.
Ryan (22:25):
Well, who would be wearing this fragrance?
I mean, it does smell good to adegree.
Myke (22:31):
Yeah, especially on the tester strip.
On the tester strip it's givingme big BDC vibes.
Ryan (22:38):
Hmm, I don't get that.
But I did initially, but I'mnot getting that right now.
Myke (22:42):
Yeah, it's not bad on the skin.
I hate to say this, but of PDMstuff, this probably smells the
most generic.
Wow, yeah, I agree, I've eversmelled from them.
I agree, and I know people willcompare other fragrances that
they make, which is so funny, bythe way, because I I've heard
(23:03):
this quite a few times that pdmis like basically a niche clone
house of designer stuff.
I won't argue that theirfragrances lean designer
wearability.
Yeah, I don't know of manyfragrances that they're copying,
other than I think percival islike leaning heavy into a few.
But other than that I will saythey do kind of have their own
(23:26):
personality, but this one justit feels really flat, it does
and kind of uninspired, honestlyhonestly, though, it's crazy.
Ryan (23:34):
My hand smells crazy, different than the tester strip.
Yeah, I'm, you smell mine.
That doesn't smell good at allright now.
What the hell I know I'm.
Myke (23:43):
I don't know what this is doing to my skin, man dude that
that's a weird one.
Ryan (23:49):
I've been asking multiple times about who would be wearing
this.
Who's your avatar for thisthing?
Myke (23:55):
I think younger dudes really young dudes high school,
early college years, I thinkthey're roping them in with the
Percivals and now the Castlesand stuff like that.
I think they're getting themthere, yeah, and then that's
their gateway drug.
That's right, yeah.
And before long then they'rewearing Habdan and stuff like
(24:16):
that.
Ryan (24:16):
Hey, I did like that.
Hey, I, I did like that.
Yeah, it smelled great, smelledincredible.
We tried that on while we weregetting this.
I was like fuck, I put on myhand worn.
I was like it smelled reallygood all day.
It was great.
Yeah, okay, are you gonna skipit, sample it or buy it?
What are you gonna do, ryan?
Look, I know the co-founderworked hard on this, so I'm not
going to really dress this down,even though I kind of did.
Myke (24:39):
But yeah, he is an avid listener.
Ryan (24:42):
But well, first off, he's avidly wealthy, so he'll be okay
, He'll survive.
Myke (24:47):
Yeah, but I will say they're going to sell plenty of
bottles of this.
Ryan (24:50):
Yeah, they're going to sell this.
Myke (24:51):
This is an easy skip for me, really easy skip the easy
skip for me, really easy skip,yeah, same, you know.
And our initial reaction to it?
We got to smell it like atester tester that they sent,
yeah, before they even had abottle of this.
Yeah, and we were impressedwith it and really hyped up
about it.
So then yesterday I didyesterday, we go in and we
(25:15):
sprayed that.
I go hey, we're about to go to ameeting, can we spray this on
the skin, go to the meeting andthen come back and we'll make
our decision.
Because the lady texted andsaid hey, let me know if you
want me to put a bottle bag foryou.
Yeah, so we spray it on, we goto the meeting.
We've run some errands In themeantime, we're smelling it and
(25:36):
kind of talking about it.
And whenever I got back, uh,just from the experience of
actually wearing it on the skinand being out of the store,
convinced me not to buy itabsolutely and I ended up buying
another fragrance that ifyou're a patreon, you know what
it is, and if you're're not aPatreon, shame on you.
(25:56):
If you're having troublesleeping and I'm wondering what
fragrance that was, well, youcan pay six bucks and find out.
Ryan (26:06):
That's it for this week's show.
We love you guys.
Wait a second.
Myke (26:10):
What Is this?
A skip for you?
I thought, yeah.
I said that Okay, skip for metoo.
It's not bad.
Now you cut off my goddamn exitSpray it up, y'all.
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