Stop Looking for External Validation...

For the past 15 years, I have carried a dream that I share whenever anyone asks what my ideal life would look like. I envision myself sitting on a front porch somewhere in East Vancouver—one of those big, old porches with lots of pedestrian foot traffic. I'm there in a rocking chair as people come at different times to visit and sit with me on the porch. They tell me about their lives and what's happening for them, and I help them hear themselves. I ask questions and help them see the beauty of who they are, sending them back into the world feeling more refreshed and with new perspective. Whenever anyone asks about my dream job, that's what I imagine.

This vision became so compelling that about five years ago, I started offering "Front Porch Sessions." I put this on my website, and people would sign up to come and sit with me so I could help them hear themselves. The tagline was "Come and hear yourself into being," and I still really like that—it still stands true for me.

And this was the commercial I had on my podcast… I still kinda like the ring to it!

What's been fascinating is how this concept has evolved. Lately, I've integrated a visioning exercise into most of my one-on-one sessions where I help people sit on the front porch with their own older, wiser version of themselves. It feels like time travel in some ways—they get to sit there with the future version of themselves who is wiser, who has seen it all, and who remains unphased by most of the things that stress us out day to day.

This experience has been so calming and nourishing for my clients. We usually explore two key questions: "What is truly important in this situation?" and "What is not important at all about this situation that I'm feeling stressed about right now?" That older, wiser self always has sage wisdom to share. It's truly beautiful.

I was reflecting on this today and realized that for so long, being the person sitting on that porch helping others hear themselves was my dream job. Now I'm doing that regularly, but in such a different way. Instead of being the sage on the porch, I'm helping people connect with their own older, wiser self—and this is so much more impactful because our own voice is our most believable voice. When people can hear that inner wisdom… directly from them, it's incredibly powerful.

I've been having so much fun with these sessions lately. One of my clients told me they love these sessions because in a single meeting, we connect with both their child self… that playful, innately wise being who knew so much before they "actually knew"…and their older, wiser self. Having both connections in one session has been remarkably powerful and really fun to facilitate.

This work has inspired me to do more of this practice myself. Tonight, I listened to a meditation I made for my kids almost five years ago. I could hear both the wisdom I had then and the pain I was experiencing during my divorce. I was able to time travel to that younger version of me and give her love.

Then, when something difficult happened today and I felt activated, I was able to time travel to sitting on the porch with my older, wiser self. I ended up leaning into her arms as she stroked my face and hair, saying, "It's okay, honey, it's okay. I've got you. None of this is important right now. All of the stuff that's frustrating you is not important in the grand scheme of things. Keep going. You've got this."

That experience was so powerful and helpful to be able to access. I wanted to share this because it's a powerful tool that you can tap into at any time. If you'd like help getting started and experiencing it with some prompts for the first time, I would be happy to share that with you. Hit reply, and let me know if you’d like some help meeting with your older, wiser self—your sage self, your essential self, whatever you want to call them…. This is powerful stuff and truly such a helpful practice for creating more peace in our lives.

Big love… from little Nanc. & Elder Wiser Nanc. and me now!

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