November 17, 2025 • 13 mins
We pull back the curtain on the hidden driver of burnout: unexpressed ideas and unspoken boundaries. We map the four fears that keep professionals quiet and share a simple, repeatable path to make your voice a tool for self-care and career growth.
• The danger of silence for influence and well-being
• Four fears that mute contribution and fuel resentment
• Practical mindset shifts to normalize nerves
• Focus on the problem, not the people
• Contribute with strategic questions to guide decisions
• A four-level roadmap from discovering to sustaining your voice
• Everyday leadership across teams and channels
• Communication habits that improve life beyond work
Pre-order your copy of Amplifying Your Leadership Voice From Silent To Speaking Up now. The book ships December 2. I’ll release special episodes that dig into key frameworks—pre-order today so you can follow along.
I've poured all my best work into my newest book, Amplifying Your Leadership Voice: From Silent to Speaking Up. If today's episode resonated with you, I know the book will be a powerful tool. You can preorder it now to be one of the first to get your copy when it is out in December!
Thanks for listening and for being a part of The Communicative Leader community. To get even more exclusive tips—like the ones we talked about today—join us at TheCommunicativeLeader.com.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the Communicative Leader.
Today we're tackling a massive,silent problem that is actively
fueling your professionalburnout.
It's not just your workload, myfriends.
It's unexpressed ideas andunspoken boundaries.
It's that feeling of beingunseen and unheard, and that can
often be a deep source ofprofessional exhaustion.
(00:23):
And if we let it go on, itbecomes our personal exhaustion
as well.
In this episode, The SilentToll, How Not Speaking Up Is
Burning You Out, we're pullingkey insights from my new book,
Amplifying Your Leadership Voicefrom Silent to Speaking Up.
We're going to reveal the fourfears that keep you quiet and
discuss three high-impactstrategies to start using your
(00:47):
voice for professionalself-care.
Let's dive in and have somefun.
Dr. Leah OH (00:54):
Hello and welcome to the Communicative Leader,
hosted by me, Dr.
Leo Emilian Hodges.
My friends call me Dr.
Oak.
I'm a professor ofcommunication and a leadership
communication expert.
On The Communicative Leader,we're working to make your work
life what you want it to be.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Have you walked into a meeting and you have this
great idea, but you find thewords just kind of got stuck in
your throat?
That feeling of being unseenand unheard is a silent struggle
for so many professionals.
We often think stress andburnout are just about workload,
but I found that for many, thisdeepest source of professional
(01:46):
exhaustion is unexpressed ideasand those unspoken boundaries
that you're not sharing.
You're doing the work of twopeople because maybe you haven't
learned how to say no, or youhaven't learned how to respond
when someone pushes back on youridea.
So you kind of carry this theweight of those ideas that are
(02:09):
unheard and unrealized.
And that, again, is the weightof resentment, my friends,
because you're not able to voiceyour true perspective.
This is a foundational issuethat I addressed in my new book,
Amplifying Your LeadershipVoice from Silent to Speaking
Up.
It is now available forpre-order, which is exciting
(02:30):
because it is a project thatI've worked really hard on.
And what we're doing today inthis episode is kind of pulling
the curtain back, introductionin chapter one, where we look at
this difficult truth.
Your silence is costing youmore than you realize.
When employees feel heard andvalue, they're more motivated,
(02:51):
engaged, and committed to theirwork.
But if you can't find yourvoice or you don't know how to
address that peer that seeminglyalways speaks over you in every
meeting, or how to navigatethat conflict that continues to
emerge, it seems, every timeyour team has to make a
decision.
If we can't navigate thosethings, then we can't unlock our
(03:11):
sense of value or jobsatisfaction.
So, my friends, it is time tostop letting fear govern your
contributions.
And instead, I want you tofocus on making your unique
voice as impactful and aspersuasive as possible.
So before we dive into thoseactionable tips, let's look at
(03:31):
the danger of silence.
And I want us to be honest,because most of us are members
from one time to another of whatresearch calls the silent
majority.
We hold back because we simplyweren't taught critical
communication skills we neededto succeed in the workplace.
And again, this doesn't meanthat we're always silent.
(03:52):
We might have seasons of it.
It might be in certain groupsor teams or meetings, not all of
them.
But it is important that welook at the danger of silence.
And this is chapter one in mybook, Amplifying Your Leadership
Voice.
It is chapter one for a reason.
Silence has a profound impacton your influence.
But more importantly, fortoday's topic, it has
(04:14):
devastating impact on yourwell-being as well.
So why do we stay silent?
So, my friends, we can oftenboil this down to four fears,
and all of these contribute toan unhealthy work life.
First fear, that fear ofrejection or criticism.
Right?
We worry this idea might bedismissed.
(04:35):
It might be ridiculed.
But if communication is thisprimary yardstick by which
others assess our leadershipability, staying silent is not
doing us any favors.
We are stunning ourprofessional growth and we're
losing opportunities to refineour ideas and become even more
strategic thinkers and impactplayers in our workplaces.
(04:59):
Second fear, the fear of beingseen as confrontational.
No one wants to be labeled asaggressive.
No one wants to be labeled asargumentative.
But silence often breedsresentment and disconnect.
When we stay quiet, we oftenfind ourselves stewing in
frustration.
(05:19):
And that emotional labor ofcarrying that around, that is
exhausting.
That is tying up our cognitiveresources that we could be used
for much, much better things.
Okay, our third fear, the fearof causing conflict.
Where many of us, again, we'reafraid of rocking the boat.
Yet when we stay quiet, thismeans missing chances to find
(05:43):
real solutions.
If we avoid the conversationneeded to set a boundary, that
boundary just disappears, myfriends.
It just simply dissolves.
And that what does that mean?
It means our work life suffers.
And the final fear I want toraise up, and again, they're
they're more addressed in muchgreater detail in the book, but
(06:03):
we're just looking at ahigh-level preview.
It's that fear of impostersyndrome.
We hold back because we doubtour own ideas and we worry that
others might judge us or that wesimply don't actually belong at
the table, even though we'veearned that position fair and
square.
If we allow this self-doubt todominate our professional life,
(06:24):
it can lead to feelings of beingundervalued and ultimately
we're missing opportunities andwe're stalling our own career
growth.
This silent tax is real.
It is paid in stress, inresentment, and a fundamental
feeling of being ineffective,which is unfortunately that is a
(06:45):
perfect recipe for professionalburnout.
So then let's look at yourvoice as self-care.
I want you to look at threeways that we can tame this
apprehension.
So the good news is thatspeaking up is not about your
personality.
It's not even necessarily aboutyour talent or skill level.
(07:05):
When we speak up, it is acommunication skill that can be
cultivated and strengthened.
The initial transformationrequires a mindset shift too,
moving from seeing your voice asa weapon that we only deploy in
conflict, right?
When we feel like someone iscoming at us or ideas, and all
of a sudden we have to speak upand bolster this defense.
(07:27):
Instead of that, let's look atour voice as this tool for
self-care and for professionalhealth and success.
So here are three actionablehigh-impact strategies from
chapter one to start taming thatcommunication apprehension and
creating healthier workinteractions.
One, practice self-compassion.
(07:48):
Be kind to yourself.
Nerves are completely normal.
They're actually a good sign.
They're a sign that you care,that you're invested.
So instead of beating yourselfup for feeling nervous, we got
to learn to channel thatadrenaline to sharpen our focus
and to strengthen the connectionwe have with our audience.
So we're we're taking time,we're thinking about how to move
(08:11):
from that scared, maybe thatterrified place to an authentic
place.
And again, throughout thisbook, we're gonna talk about
those strategies.
We're gonna provide thatroadmap for you.
I also want you to think aboutfocusing on the problem, not the
people.
Silence often stems fromfeeling intimidated by others'
(08:32):
titles or their authority.
Maybe they're a couple levelshigher than you.
The solution, my friends, shiftthat frame.
Instead of focusing on who isin the room, I want you to focus
on the problem itself.
Right?
Why are you all together?
What is the objective of thismeeting or of this project, of
(08:52):
this team?
This can instantly change theinteraction from this daunting
power struggle to acollaborative effort to solve
that shared challenge.
The third thing that I wouldlike you to think about, and
again, this is a really greatway to engage, and to do so, I
kind of think about it asdipping a toe.
(09:14):
You're engaged, you're usingyour voice, you're you're really
starting to fine-tune thisinstrument.
Again, contribute withquestions.
This is a low-risk, high rewardgateway to finding your voice.
Asking the right strategicquestions, like what challenges
white meet white we face, or howare we going to measure
(09:34):
success?
This is a great way to assertyour leadership voice and guide
meaningful conversations.
It allows you to contribute andbuild confidence without
feeling like your expertise isbeing critiqued.
And so, my final thing for you,my call to action, I'm gonna
give you this roadmap tosustained health.
(09:55):
And again, we've only justbarely scratched the surface of
level one, discovering yourleadership voice.
In this book, I'm gonna walkyou through four different
levels from discovering yourvoice, refining it, amplifying
it, and sustaining it.
So, in this short conversation,we've identified the problem,
(10:15):
right?
The danger of silence, andwe've started that path towards
self-awareness, which is whereevery great leader starts.
And my friends, when I sayleader, I just don't mean
managers and directors, I meaneveryone.
We are all everyday leaders.
So if you are ready to build awork life where you feel valued,
engaged, and genuinely lessstressed, I want you to start
(10:40):
thinking about working on yourvoice as a step-by-step roadmap.
As I mentioned before, we'rejust kind of touched the scratch
the surface on level one,discovering your leadership
voice.
Level two, you go in and refineyour leadership voice.
It's where you're masteringthose verbals, the nonverbals,
the written communication skillsto overcome the barriers that
(11:03):
hold you back.
And then when we are looking atlevel three, amplifying your
leadership voice, that's wherewe're thinking about
communicating across boundaries.
We're thinking about ourpresence and our impact and
face-to-face interactions.
We're thinking about how we canengage technology in order to
be a thought leader acrossoutside of our organization,
(11:26):
across our industry.
And level four, that's when Ireally want you to think about
sustaining your leadershipvoice.
It's where we're thinking aboutlongevity, right?
We're we're dedicating thisfinal chapter in level four:
leadership resilience, the powerof self-care and reflection.
It's where we're learning howto make that amplified voice
(11:46):
sustainable.
This is again the ultimate keyto a healthy and successful
professional life.
As we've said many times onthis show, when we are focusing
on our communication, when weare being intentional, then that
bleeds over in really amazingways to benefit our other
relationships, right?
Those at home, those withfriends, those with family,
(12:09):
those with community members.
This journey, it is direct andit is tailored from tailored to
where you're starting from,whether you are brand new or a
seasoned leader and executive.
This full system is laid out inmy new book, Amplifying Your
Leadership Voice from Silent toSpeaking Up.
I said it is available forpre-order now, and the book will
(12:32):
start shipping on December 2nd.
So again, I have some solutionsready for you, and I'll
continue recording a few specialepisodes of the communicative
leader this month, next month,and the next, where I'm going to
be diving deep into some ofthese key takeaways and
frameworks found inside thebook.
So pre-order your copy today soyou can follow along.
(12:54):
Thank you for tuning in to TheCommunicative Leader.
We'll talk soon.
Dr. Leah OH (13:00):
Alright, my friends, that wraps up our
conversation today.
Until next time, communicatewith intention and lead with
purpose.
Looking forward to chattingwith you again soon on the
communicative leader.
Welcome back to the Communicative Leader.
Today we're tackling a massive,silent problem that is actively
fueling your professionalburnout.
It's not just your workload, myfriends.
It's unexpressed ideas andunspoken boundaries.
It's that feeling of beingunseen and unheard, and that can
often be a deep source ofprofessional exhaustion.
(00:23):
And if we let it go on, itbecomes our personal exhaustion
as well.
In this episode, The SilentToll, How Not Speaking Up Is
Burning You Out, we're pullingkey insights from my new book,
Amplifying Your Leadership Voicefrom Silent to Speaking Up.
We're going to reveal the fourfears that keep you quiet and
discuss three high-impactstrategies to start using your
(00:47):
voice for professionalself-care.
Let's dive in and have somefun.
Dr. Leah OH (00:54):
Hello and welcome to the Communicative Leader,
hosted by me, Dr.
Leo Emilian Hodges.
My friends call me Dr.
Oak.
I'm a professor ofcommunication and a leadership
communication expert.
On The Communicative Leader,we're working to make your work
life what you want it to be.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Have you walked into a meeting and you have this
great idea, but you find thewords just kind of got stuck in
your throat?
That feeling of being unseenand unheard is a silent struggle
for so many professionals.
We often think stress andburnout are just about workload,
but I found that for many, thisdeepest source of professional
(01:46):
exhaustion is unexpressed ideasand those unspoken boundaries
that you're not sharing.
You're doing the work of twopeople because maybe you haven't
learned how to say no, or youhaven't learned how to respond
when someone pushes back on youridea.
So you kind of carry this theweight of those ideas that are
(02:09):
unheard and unrealized.
And that, again, is the weightof resentment, my friends,
because you're not able to voiceyour true perspective.
This is a foundational issuethat I addressed in my new book,
Amplifying Your LeadershipVoice from Silent to Speaking
Up.
It is now available forpre-order, which is exciting
(02:30):
because it is a project thatI've worked really hard on.
And what we're doing today inthis episode is kind of pulling
the curtain back, introductionin chapter one, where we look at
this difficult truth.
Your silence is costing youmore than you realize.
When employees feel heard andvalue, they're more motivated,
(02:51):
engaged, and committed to theirwork.
But if you can't find yourvoice or you don't know how to
address that peer that seeminglyalways speaks over you in every
meeting, or how to navigatethat conflict that continues to
emerge, it seems, every timeyour team has to make a
decision.
If we can't navigate thosethings, then we can't unlock our
(03:11):
sense of value or jobsatisfaction.
So, my friends, it is time tostop letting fear govern your
contributions.
And instead, I want you tofocus on making your unique
voice as impactful and aspersuasive as possible.
So before we dive into thoseactionable tips, let's look at
(03:31):
the danger of silence.
And I want us to be honest,because most of us are members
from one time to another of whatresearch calls the silent
majority.
We hold back because we simplyweren't taught critical
communication skills we neededto succeed in the workplace.
And again, this doesn't meanthat we're always silent.
(03:52):
We might have seasons of it.
It might be in certain groupsor teams or meetings, not all of
them.
But it is important that welook at the danger of silence.
And this is chapter one in mybook, Amplifying Your Leadership
Voice.
It is chapter one for a reason.
Silence has a profound impacton your influence.
But more importantly, fortoday's topic, it has
(04:14):
devastating impact on yourwell-being as well.
So why do we stay silent?
So, my friends, we can oftenboil this down to four fears,
and all of these contribute toan unhealthy work life.
First fear, that fear ofrejection or criticism.
Right?
We worry this idea might bedismissed.
(04:35):
It might be ridiculed.
But if communication is thisprimary yardstick by which
others assess our leadershipability, staying silent is not
doing us any favors.
We are stunning ourprofessional growth and we're
losing opportunities to refineour ideas and become even more
strategic thinkers and impactplayers in our workplaces.
(04:59):
Second fear, the fear of beingseen as confrontational.
No one wants to be labeled asaggressive.
No one wants to be labeled asargumentative.
But silence often breedsresentment and disconnect.
When we stay quiet, we oftenfind ourselves stewing in
frustration.
(05:19):
And that emotional labor ofcarrying that around, that is
exhausting.
That is tying up our cognitiveresources that we could be used
for much, much better things.
Okay, our third fear, the fearof causing conflict.
Where many of us, again, we'reafraid of rocking the boat.
Yet when we stay quiet, thismeans missing chances to find
(05:43):
real solutions.
If we avoid the conversationneeded to set a boundary, that
boundary just disappears, myfriends.
It just simply dissolves.
And that what does that mean?
It means our work life suffers.
And the final fear I want toraise up, and again, they're
they're more addressed in muchgreater detail in the book, but
(06:03):
we're just looking at ahigh-level preview.
It's that fear of impostersyndrome.
We hold back because we doubtour own ideas and we worry that
others might judge us or that wesimply don't actually belong at
the table, even though we'veearned that position fair and
square.
If we allow this self-doubt todominate our professional life,
(06:24):
it can lead to feelings of beingundervalued and ultimately
we're missing opportunities andwe're stalling our own career
growth.
This silent tax is real.
It is paid in stress, inresentment, and a fundamental
feeling of being ineffective,which is unfortunately that is a
(06:45):
perfect recipe for professionalburnout.
So then let's look at yourvoice as self-care.
I want you to look at threeways that we can tame this
apprehension.
So the good news is thatspeaking up is not about your
personality.
It's not even necessarily aboutyour talent or skill level.
(07:05):
When we speak up, it is acommunication skill that can be
cultivated and strengthened.
The initial transformationrequires a mindset shift too,
moving from seeing your voice asa weapon that we only deploy in
conflict, right?
When we feel like someone iscoming at us or ideas, and all
of a sudden we have to speak upand bolster this defense.
(07:27):
Instead of that, let's look atour voice as this tool for
self-care and for professionalhealth and success.
So here are three actionablehigh-impact strategies from
chapter one to start taming thatcommunication apprehension and
creating healthier workinteractions.
One, practice self-compassion.
(07:48):
Be kind to yourself.
Nerves are completely normal.
They're actually a good sign.
They're a sign that you care,that you're invested.
So instead of beating yourselfup for feeling nervous, we got
to learn to channel thatadrenaline to sharpen our focus
and to strengthen the connectionwe have with our audience.
So we're we're taking time,we're thinking about how to move
(08:11):
from that scared, maybe thatterrified place to an authentic
place.
And again, throughout thisbook, we're gonna talk about
those strategies.
We're gonna provide thatroadmap for you.
I also want you to think aboutfocusing on the problem, not the
people.
Silence often stems fromfeeling intimidated by others'
(08:32):
titles or their authority.
Maybe they're a couple levelshigher than you.
The solution, my friends, shiftthat frame.
Instead of focusing on who isin the room, I want you to focus
on the problem itself.
Right?
Why are you all together?
What is the objective of thismeeting or of this project, of
(08:52):
this team?
This can instantly change theinteraction from this daunting
power struggle to acollaborative effort to solve
that shared challenge.
The third thing that I wouldlike you to think about, and
again, this is a really greatway to engage, and to do so, I
kind of think about it asdipping a toe.
(09:14):
You're engaged, you're usingyour voice, you're you're really
starting to fine-tune thisinstrument.
Again, contribute withquestions.
This is a low-risk, high rewardgateway to finding your voice.
Asking the right strategicquestions, like what challenges
white meet white we face, or howare we going to measure
(09:34):
success?
This is a great way to assertyour leadership voice and guide
meaningful conversations.
It allows you to contribute andbuild confidence without
feeling like your expertise isbeing critiqued.
And so, my final thing for you,my call to action, I'm gonna
give you this roadmap tosustained health.
(09:55):
And again, we've only justbarely scratched the surface of
level one, discovering yourleadership voice.
In this book, I'm gonna walkyou through four different
levels from discovering yourvoice, refining it, amplifying
it, and sustaining it.
So, in this short conversation,we've identified the problem,
(10:15):
right?
The danger of silence, andwe've started that path towards
self-awareness, which is whereevery great leader starts.
And my friends, when I sayleader, I just don't mean
managers and directors, I meaneveryone.
We are all everyday leaders.
So if you are ready to build awork life where you feel valued,
engaged, and genuinely lessstressed, I want you to start
(10:40):
thinking about working on yourvoice as a step-by-step roadmap.
As I mentioned before, we'rejust kind of touched the scratch
the surface on level one,discovering your leadership
voice.
Level two, you go in and refineyour leadership voice.
It's where you're masteringthose verbals, the nonverbals,
the written communication skillsto overcome the barriers that
(11:03):
hold you back.
And then when we are looking atlevel three, amplifying your
leadership voice, that's wherewe're thinking about
communicating across boundaries.
We're thinking about ourpresence and our impact and
face-to-face interactions.
We're thinking about how we canengage technology in order to
be a thought leader acrossoutside of our organization,
(11:26):
across our industry.
And level four, that's when Ireally want you to think about
sustaining your leadershipvoice.
It's where we're thinking aboutlongevity, right?
We're we're dedicating thisfinal chapter in level four:
leadership resilience, the powerof self-care and reflection.
It's where we're learning howto make that amplified voice
(11:46):
sustainable.
This is again the ultimate keyto a healthy and successful
professional life.
As we've said many times onthis show, when we are focusing
on our communication, when weare being intentional, then that
bleeds over in really amazingways to benefit our other
relationships, right?
Those at home, those withfriends, those with family,
(12:09):
those with community members.
This journey, it is direct andit is tailored from tailored to
where you're starting from,whether you are brand new or a
seasoned leader and executive.
This full system is laid out inmy new book, Amplifying Your
Leadership Voice from Silent toSpeaking Up.
I said it is available forpre-order now, and the book will
(12:32):
start shipping on December 2nd.
So again, I have some solutionsready for you, and I'll
continue recording a few specialepisodes of the communicative
leader this month, next month,and the next, where I'm going to
be diving deep into some ofthese key takeaways and
frameworks found inside thebook.
So pre-order your copy today soyou can follow along.
(12:54):
Thank you for tuning in to TheCommunicative Leader.
We'll talk soon.
Dr. Leah OH (13:00):
Alright, my friends, that wraps up our
conversation today.
Until next time, communicatewith intention and lead with
purpose.
Looking forward to chattingwith you again soon on the
communicative leader.
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