Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:02):
Welcome to the Courtney
Gray podcast the show for women
who are ready to lose weightpermanently, and love their body
love the way they feel. Andlook, I'm going to teach you how
to stop overeating and obsessingabout food and your weight. So
you can be more confident andempowered to then create an even
bigger life. I'm life and bodycoach Courtney Gray. And each
(00:25):
week, I'm going to be teachingyou how losing and maintaining
your ideal weight can be so mucheasier than it's been in the
past. And by taking care of youand achieving your health goals,
you will live in even moreamazing life than the one you
have lived so far. Let's getstarted.
Welcome to the podcast number82. Three Steps to losing weight
(00:47):
on the weekends. Doesn't thatsound fun? Aren't you like? Yes,
please tell me all the things Iwill tell you all the things.
First of all, let me tell you,I'm quite the traveller. When
this podcast comes out, I amgoing to be in Santa Barbara,
California with my family. Yes,it's my second time going this
year. And yes, that wasintentional. And I am so excited
about it. And I'm so excitedabout it. Because I'm going to
(01:10):
be down there for about fivedays, maybe six days, I can't
remember five or six days. AndI'm going to be working at the
same time. So I'm still going tobe able to see all of my
clients. And I'm going to inbetween clients be able to enjoy
Santa Barbara with my wholefamily, my boys and my husband.
So I'm really excited about it.
So wanted to talk about losingweight on the weekends. Because
(01:32):
I know there's it's just one ofthose things that I think a lot
of people struggle with, theystruggle with. I know I've had
clients before where they feellike they're doing well all
week. And then all of a suddenthe weekend comes and they kind
of say, Oh, I'm gonna givemyself a cheat day. And then the
cheat day turns into a cheatweekend. And then they start
Monday morning. And they feellike they lost all progress they
made. So that's why I wanted totalk about this. Because it
(01:52):
doesn't have to be that way,you're making it too hard. So
strap in. So I know weekends canbe hard. I know that I think
that's why we have this termthat we say this thought like,
I'll start on Monday, because wefeel like oh, it's the weekend,
I want to be able to stopworking for so many of us we
work during the week, we takeweekends off. So it's the
(02:14):
thought of I don't want to Idon't want to do anything I
don't want to do on theweekends, I certainly don't want
to have to restrict and deprivemyself. So this whole thought of
I'm going to start on Monday, Ithink that's why it was created.
Because it's like Saturdayafternoon and you were planning
on doing maybe you're planningon going for a run, maybe you
were planning on eating acertain way. And then your
(02:35):
friend calls you and say let'smake let's make a cocktail run
at two o'clock or whatever. Idon't know, whatever happens.
But then you say, oh, you knowwhat, let's just wait for
Monday, let's just, let's justall start on Monday, we want to
enjoy the weekend, we want tonot worry about food at all, we
don't really want to think aboutbeing healthy. And we get some
(02:55):
relief by committing to Monday.
Even though in the back of ourmind, we know, we know that I
will start on Monday, it'stotally not going to happen,
because we've said that toourselves, like 500 times. So
first, before I dive into thethree steps to losing weight on
weekends, I want to talk aboutassociations. We associate
(03:19):
certain activities with food andcertain types of food. So for
example, like we associate goingto the movies, or even now doing
a movie at home with popcorn andcandy. And now it's actually
become for a lot of peoplewatching TV in general is
associated with eatingsomething. We associate girls
(03:40):
nights with cocktails, there'sthere were times in the past
where I would go to a girlsnight. And I would feel this
pressure to get a cocktail, evenif I didn't want to get a
cocktail. And even if I thoughtI'm just going to do a club
soda, what's the big deal? It'salmost kind of like I I would
get anxious because I felt likethere was an expectation that I
would be drinking a cocktail. Sothat's an association. I don't
(04:02):
know if anyone else does Buncoanymore, or if that's like
something of the past. But Iremember with Bunco the
association was like littlebowls of candy on the table and
it made it it was so hard for mesometimes I would not want to go
to Bunco because I wouldn't wantto sit there with that candy on
the table. That's thedissociation holidays like
Christmas and Thanksgiving isassociated with a lot of food
(04:23):
and drink and almost like it'san expected that you're going to
over consume. Right. We talkedabout how full we are at the end
of those holidays. I also thinkof like camping and smores. I
also think of food and work,especially if you're in any kind
of office cubicle type ofsituation. You know, I used to
(04:43):
work at Hewlett Packard. And Iremember when I got it I got a
job at Hewlett Packard right outof college. And it was a whole
team of I think they were about15 of us. We were all customer
service. And we came in as aclass quote unquote class and
they trained us together and weall became friends and it was so
fun and then they kind of didFirst as to our groups after we
were out of training, but theytalked about like the freshman
(05:04):
10, or the freshman 15. And Iremember being like, that's not
going to happen to me. But itdid. I don't know, remember how
much weight I gained, but itdefinitely was like, an
environment where everyone wasalways bringing in food, donuts
and candy and cupcakes and and Iswear to God, the birthdays is
like, every day, when you havehundreds and hundreds and
hundreds of people working in abuilding, there's always
(05:26):
birthdays. So that's anassociation like food and work,
or what about like buffets andfull plates? And I think of this
specifically, because there'sbeen probably a handful of two
or three times where I've beenin a buffet, and I have people
saying to me, why aren't youlike eating more? Oh, why aren't
you getting the bread? Whyaren't you eating the meat? Why
(05:47):
aren't you depending on whateverin that moment I'm eating? I've
had people almost look at melike you're doing it wrong. It's
a buffet. Hey, girl, you'redoing it wrong. So we kind of
associate buffets with fillingour plates with as much as
possible. Even when if you thinkabout it, it's not like you're
going to when you go to like oneof those homes. I've never been
to a hometown buffet. But I knowmy husband takes his basketball
(06:08):
team, they're on the road. ButBut I know when you go to a
hometown buffet, you pay like$17, or whatever it is. And so I
can see, I can see it's logicalthat you'd want to fill your
plate up. But if I'm at awedding, and I'm going to a
buffet or I'm at a banquet, andI'm going to a buffet, the
buffet is not going anywhere.
Why are we like you got to fillthe plate. But yeah, so that's
(06:29):
an association buffet andfilling your plates. But I think
there's also an association withweekends. I think we associate
freedom from work. And often wewrap this freedom to include
work on ourselves like eatingwell, it's almost like we're
like, I'm done doing what Idon't want to do. And I and I
also don't want to have to worryabout food, I don't wanna have
(06:51):
to worry about anything. Andit's ironic, because that's what
I teach my clients when they'reworking with me to have all of
that not be a worry, right. Butright now, for a lot of you who
I haven't had the chance to workwith, it's like, I don't want to
have to even think about this.
So I also know, for example,some people like to talk about
like taking a cheat day, whichsometimes a cheat day on the
(07:13):
weekend. Sometimes some peopleeven take like a cheat meal. But
then sometimes it turns into acheat day because you're like,
Oh, I already ate that. I mightas well eat all the things. And
then sometimes a cheat day turnsinto a cheat weekend, to whole
day of cheating. So again, I'vebeen talking about this a lot
lately. If we think of eatingsomething that tastes delicious
as cheating. It's almost likewe're saying to ourselves, we're
(07:35):
doing something wrong. But thereis no right or wrong. It's just
a choice of what you want whatyou want for your life. So
there's also some socialpressure with these activities,
kind of like what I talked aboutwith a buffet, but we get
comments sometimes. And we'dlike to think that it doesn't
matter. We'd like to think thatwe don't get comments, but I
think all of us can think aboutin any of those scenarios of
(07:58):
associations I described. Ithink you can probably think of
I can think of one with almostevery single situation. Even as
something as simple as my kidsgoing, you're not having a smore
why wouldn't you have us more?
There's a little bit of socialpressure with these activities.
So like, you'll get things likewell, why aren't you having
another drink? Oh, come on. Havea drink with me? Or why aren't
you eating the bread? Are you ona diet or like Oh, live a little
(08:20):
Are you you know, you lookgreat. Don't even worry about
this. Oh, now you're making mefeel bad. Like you think about
these. And I don't think anyonethat is saying these is trying
to be a mean person. But I thinkit adds to the social pressure.
It makes it that much harder.
(08:40):
You're already sitting therethinking oh my gosh, I would
love to have a smaller oh mygod, I would love to have
another Margarita. You'realready sitting there trying to
stay true to yourself. And thenyou have Sally over here on the
right telling you You lookamazing. You don't need it. And
you've got Jan on the left itmaking you feel bad because now
she feels bad for not havinganother Margarita. And I don't
even have Sally and Jan like inmy friend group those names, but
(09:02):
they just came to me. You'rewelcome. So there's no right or
wrong. It's just a choice ofwhat you want for your life. But
this thinking this association,it's not serving you thinking
that you need a break from quoteunquote trying to lose weight
over the weekends is not helpingyou. And it reconfirms to
yourself that losing weight ishard, right. Well, that's what
(09:25):
it says is, it's hard and Idon't want to do it. It's hard,
and it's too hard. It's hard andI can't enjoy my life and lose
weight at the same time. It'salmost like you're telling
yourself, you need a break. NowI'm not saying oh my god, losing
weight is so easy. Let me showyou how it's not easy. Doing
things that we want for our bestself is not always easy. It can
(09:47):
be simple, but not easy. But ifthe story you're telling
yourself is that you need abreak from eating well, and
eating in a way that is helpingyou reach your health goals. I
think you need an Story. Now, Iknow in the past, it has been
hard, especially when you didthe hard work, lost the weight
(10:08):
only to regain. But if what ifit didn't have to be so hard.
That's the whole idea for thispodcast, let's make the weekends
easier. Let's continue to loseweight or maintain whatever you
are trying to do right now andstill have an amazing weekend.
So here's the story, I want youto consider because you have
another story in your head rightnow that's like weekends are
(10:30):
hard, or I want weekend to beweekends to be fun. And so I
can't still be losing weight. Sohere's a different story, I want
you to consider something thatgoes like this. I'm committed,
this is what you would say toyourself, This is the kind of
way I talk to myself, I'mcommitted to losing weight and
getting healthy. It is hardwork, and I am totally in for
it. But this time, I'm doing itin a way that feels good in my
(10:54):
body, I'm choosing to eat betterforever. I'm going to enjoy the
purchase process. I'm going toallow frustrations, I'm going to
celebrate myself when I do well.
And I know I'm really becoming adifferent woman in this area of
my life. I would say this toyourself every day, or whatever
iteration you have for yourself.
(11:19):
Maybe you want to say toyourself, you know what, I can
have an amazing weekend. And Ican have this treat. If you feel
like you want to treat. Maybeyou don't need to have a treat
all day. Maybe you say toyourself, I can go away on a
girls weekend. And I can eat alittle bit less than I normally
would to maintain my weight,whatever. What story do you want
to tell yourself? And if youtruly believe this? Would you
(11:42):
need a break from it over theweekend? When I laid out that
story? I don't need a break fromthat story. It's an amazing
story. It all starts with yourmind. Is it possible to have an
amazing weekend and lose weight?
Yes, you totally better believeit is. Is it possible to go on
vacation and lose weight? Yes,100%. It is. In fact, sometimes
people think, oh, I want to goon vacation. Therefore I have to
(12:05):
be able to eat all the things. Ithink vacation a little bit
differently. To me, I think likeI just I just went on a business
trip. It wasn't a vacation forsure I worked the whole time.
But I thought to myself, I'mgoing to easily maintain my
weight and I didn't want and Iknew I wasn't gonna be able to
work out I wouldn't have time Idid a little bit of yoga in my
room every day. But I'm like,I'm going to easily this is
going to be no problem for me.
(12:28):
Because I know I'm going to behaving so much fun when I am
there talking with my colleaguesand coaching and doing all the
things and getting a break frombeing at my own home and being
in charge of my family and knowthat's going to be so fun. I'm
not going to need to find foodas fun. I've got the fun, the
fun is going to be in Nashville.
So it all starts with your mind.
(12:49):
Is it possible to have anamazing weekend and lose weight?
Yes. So the first step I've toldyou is gonna give you three
steps. The first step is askyourself some good questions.
How can I have a really funweekend and lose weight? Can you
come up with 10? answers to thatquestion, because I think the
answer in the past possibly hasbeen no.
(13:12):
So can you come up with 10answers? Right? And your answers
might look like a bunch ofdifferent things. Can I stop
snacking? A lot of you aresnackers a lot of you are eating
all the time. A lot of youhardly ever feel hunger because
you're eating all the time I seeyou it's okay, I still love you.
But maybe you could stopsnacking. Can you try
intermittent fasting? Can youcut something out that you've
(13:34):
been telling yourself you wantedto cut out? And then celebrate
the shit out of yourself thisweekend? Can you take one
weekend and cut out soda? Or cutout creamer in your coffee or
less creamer? In your coffee? Idon't know whatever. Can you cut
out something? Can you get yourpartner on board? Or a friend on
board? Like can you text them tocelebrate even if they don't
(13:55):
even live around you? Can yousay hey, this weekend, I'm going
to really try to up my game interms of my health, I'm going to
really stay true to what I wantfor myself. And I'm going to
text you every time I do well.
I'm going to text you and I wantyou to tell me I'm a badass. I
love that. Can you add inmovement? Meaning like can you
take an extra walk in themorning? Can you take an extra
(14:16):
walk at night? While you'rewalking? If you're if you're
pretty athletic and you've beengetting movement in? Can you
throw in some runs in the middleof that walk? Can you add 20
Push Ups three times a day? Idon't know. Can you add in
movement? Can you do a two daychallenge for yourself and
actually go all in on theweekend? What would that look
like? So instead of just like,Oh, let's see how this goes. Can
(14:40):
you actually go all in balls tothe wall this weekend? I'm gonna
actually see if I can loseweight and do a little two day
challenge. How fired up wouldyou be Sunday night or Monday
morning if you actually did achallenge over the weekend. The
way you think about yourweekends will determine the way
you feel If you've beenfollowing along, you know, the
(15:00):
way you feel is directly goingto affect the action you take.
And also, the action you take inreverse is going to make you
feel amazing. So the second stepis take Extreme Ownership of
your life and your body. Wedictate what goes in our mouth,
to other people, othersituations outside of ourselves.
(15:21):
But you are a grown ass woman.
I'm cussing a lot in this one.
I'm fired up. I'm fired up. I'mexcited for this. So what do I
mean by that? It means if you'regoing out to dinner, you don't
have to say to yourself, I don'tknow what they have on the menu.
Hey, listen, I want to give youpermission to never say that,
again. It's called Google.
(15:44):
Google the restaurant, get themenu and look and see what's on
the menu. So you can go thereand prepare yourself to make a
good choice. prepare ahead oftime. And then all you have to
do is follow through. Tell yourpartner Hey, listen, I'm gonna
get the chicken fajitas tonight,if that's what you want to get,
if you feel like that would be agood healthy choice. You're
right, I'm gonna get the chickenfajitas don't let me get that
(16:05):
pulled pork sandwich. Right? Howlike, elicit some help from the
people that love you. I'm takinga moment to tell you that I work
privately one on one with womento help them lose weight
permanently, and create a bodythey love. This is not a diet
program. This is a customizedprogram to teach you how to eat
the way you want to eat forever.
No more restriction, no morewillpower, no more losing weight
(16:28):
only to sabotage and then gainit back again. The problem is
not you, we women are so hard onourselves. And we think if we
could just get motivated or moredetermined if we could find the
right diet plan or cut outcertain foods, we will lose
weight and be happy. But theanswer is changing your brain
and how you think and feel,changing your self image and how
(16:51):
you talk to yourself. Learninghow to trust yourself. This is
how you lose weight permanently.
It sounds too good to be true.
ButI promise you it's not. The work
I do with my clients ispowerful, exciting, and loving.
And it's hard work to but theresult is change forever. The
women I work with are smart andsuccessful in so many areas of
(17:12):
their life, they just haven'tbeen able to figure out their
body. This is where I come in,head to my website to schedule a
consultation. And we can talkabout all the details back to
the podcast. So don't tellyourself, I'm going to have to
see I don't know what's on themenu. So let's say you're going
on a trip Do you find yourselfthinking? Well, I'm going to be
traveling all day, we'll we'llsee what would happen. If you
(17:35):
didn't say we'll see. And yousaid I'm going to be traveling
all day. And it does not matterwhat situation I run into, I'm
going to be able to be able tomake a healthy choice. And so
let me give you an example. Iagain, just went to Nashville
and I was at the airport reallyearly in the morning. I don't
like to get on a plane withouteating like early in the
(17:57):
morning. Normally, I'm anintermittent faster, I don't eat
till around 10 o'clock mostdays. But when I am flying out
really early for some reason, Ithink I always get a little bit
nervous with flying. And I justI'm up early, I usually like I
drove to the airport at 3am. SoI'm already a little bit tired.
I feel a little bit nauseous.
I'm a little hypoglycemic. Sothe last thing I want to do is
(18:19):
get on that plane with no foodin my system, especially since
with the time change. And I'malways like, how long is this
flight, I'm always a little bitlike I don't know what's going
on. So I know for myself, I amgoing to not intermittent fast.
And I'm going to make sure thatI have food. And I also know
that when I'm driving at 3am tothe airport, Starbucks is an
(18:39):
open and when I'm on the road,Starbucks is my favorite place
to go to because I know there'shealthy things there for me. And
so I know that I am going to theday before my trip, I bought
like 10 beef sticks, and I putthem in my luggage for when I
was at the conference. And thenI also put one in my travel in
my purse, so I would have it atthe if there was nothing open in
(19:00):
the airport, I would have a beefstick. And then that morning, I
also grabbed a banana and so tospeak to me. I'm not like let's
see what the airport has tooffer. No. I'm like, I've got
this. I have extreme ownershipover my body and my food and
what I put in it. Maybe youthink okay, I'm going to my
(19:22):
friend's house. So I don't know.
You know, I don't know we'regoing to be having for dinner.
What will she will she expect meto drink with her? Like, I don't
want to be rude? What would itlook like if you had extreme
ownership over yourself and whatyou put in your mouth? What How
could you navigate that? Couldyou talk to her beforehand?
Could you bring I know formyself sometimes when I go to a
friend's house, I will actuallybring a Lacroix and a lime or
(19:44):
I'll bring a lot of times whatI'll do is I'll bring a whole
case because they think wellthis is what I want to drink and
I'll bring it for everyone incase anyone else wants to it'll
be like me contributing to themeal. Maybe you say to yourself,
hey, listen, we're so excited.
Let me know what can I bring? Iwould love to bring a side dish
and then you make a side dishthat you know you can eat in
case, all the other food is notreally what you want, you do
(20:06):
know that at least you can fallback on that. So my last example
of how sometimes we dictate whatgoes in our mouth to other
people, other situations outsideof ourselves, as you might say
to yourself, I don't know whatI'm going to feel like eating.
And I'm gonna, I'm gonna giveyou some hard coaching on this
one, what the what you decidewhat you feel like, none of us
(20:30):
knows what we're gonna feel likeeating, but you get to decide in
advance. And in any moment, youget to decide what you feel
like. And you sometimes candecide that it's okay, if it's
not a party in your mouth, thatyou in the moment have complete
power to decide what you'regoing to eat, and maybe you're
going to decide it, it doesn'tmatter what it tastes like, what
I feel like eating isirrelevant. If you find yourself
(20:53):
saying, I don't know what I amgoing to feel like eating. I
would say, You know what, I ifyou say that to yourself, I
would talk back and say you knowwhat, I trust myself to figure
it out. I trust myself to findsomething that in that moment
tastes good, that's healthy, orfind something that maybe it's
not going to taste that great,but it's going to help me get to
my goal is nonetheless it'sgoing to be fine. I'm not
(21:14):
waiting for it to feel good. I'mgoing to take Extreme Ownership
of what I put in my mouth eitherway. The third step, can you
prepare some alternative optionsfor yourself. So I like to think
of people who are trying to quitsmoking. Often people go for a
substitute when they're tryingto get quit smoking, they don't
(21:35):
necessarily go cold turkey, sothey'll do like gum like you've
heard of Nicorette or something.
This is because smoking is notjust about the addiction of the
nicotine, it's also about thehabits surrounding it the
addiction of the wholeexperience. It's about the
dopamine hit a person gets whenthey move towards like the pack
of cigarettes. And so that's howquickly you can get the dopamine
(21:56):
hit. It doesn't come right fromwhen you take that first drag.
It comes from when you make thatdecision to go to your purse or
go to your wallet or whateverand grab those cigarettes. So if
you have some deep habits withfood, I think it's safe to say
there's possibly some addictionthere, especially with all the
crazy stuff that that we now putin our food that actually
creates addiction. We can saythis with no shame. You might
(22:20):
have some food addictions. Iknow I have in the past as well.
But if going cold turkey soundshorrible. What if you chose a
substitution. Years ago when Iwas in the phase with my kids
where they all drove? And theyall lived at home? What started
happening is I kind of lostcontrol over the food that came
into my home. And the boys wouldbring in their biggest thing was
(22:43):
we have a very Papa Murphy'sreally close to us. And I'm
telling you at least five timesa week they would bring in Papa
Murphy's cookie dough and PapaMurphy's pizza and my boys are
healthy eaters, but they alsoeat all that stuff to their
teenagers, right? They'renormal. And so they were
bringing all that stuff into thehouse. And so here I was trying
to maintain my weight andmaintain not eating after
(23:04):
dinner, right, because I dointermittent fasting. So I try
to finish eating around six, andthen I don't eat till 10. But
after six, I mean it's nineo'clock at night, and they're
like making pizza and makingcookies and making sundaes and,
and I'm telling you it was hard.
I mean, I'm smelling thesecookies, it was hard. And so I
decided in in order to kind ofhelp myself in order to feel
(23:28):
festive. While I was sitting onthe couch with my kids watching
a movie and they were allshoving cookies in their face. I
decided to make myself someherbal tea. Now, some of you are
gonna want to punch me in theface right now you're like, No,
that doesn't sound good. HerbalTea doesn't sound good to me
either. But I needed I felt likeI needed something. I felt I
acknowledged the fact that therewas a little bit of a dopamine I
(23:51):
needed. I didn't want to beturning to my phone. I didn't
want to be doing other things. Iwas feeling the feelings of
wanting and I thought okay, inorder to support myself right
now, I think that if I had asmall cup of herbal tea, like a
small cup, I think this would beeasier for me. And it was and I
didn't do it every night. But ifI had an especially hard night
(24:12):
where I felt the urge andcraving for something, I would
like literally leave the roomtake a moment and acknowledge I
completely want these cookies.
But there's another part of methat doesn't. So I am going to
make myself some tea just so Ican give myself something and
take care of myself. That'ssupporting yourself in this
journey. So some otheralternative options for yourself
(24:32):
is popcorn with no butter. Ifyou're making popcorn At Home,
it's like maybe you go popcorn.
Maybe instead of saying okay,I'm not doing popcorn anymore.
Maybe you go popcorn or nobutter. Maybe you really watch
your portion sizes. Maybe youhave something but you just have
a little bit. Maybe you chooseone meal that sounds delicious
(24:52):
this weekend, and then the restyou just get pleasure from other
things. What else can you dothis weekend? That sounds So fun
connecting with your family,maybe creating a vision board,
maybe going and touring awinery, maybe going to see the
Barbie movie, I don't know,maybe there's all these
different things you could do,and have fun, that has nothing
(25:15):
to do with food. And so I'mgoing to end with giving you a
little piece of extra advice.
I'm gonna give you one morebecause I love you. And I want
you to be willing to wantsomething. Can you say that
you're not going to eat dessertand be okay? That you're going
to want to? Can you allow thefeeling of desire and urge to
(25:35):
eat something that you havedecided not to eat? This can be
hard at first, but I promiseyou, it actually gets easier. If
you get to the point where yousay you're not going to have
something and allow the desireand the craving and all that to
go through you. It will geteasier after a while you've
(25:56):
possibly never done this before.
And so on the fifth and sixthand seventh time you have done
this. First of all, you buildevidence that you can do it. But
you also like it's a skill. It'slike riding a bike playing
soccer or driving a car. It'ssomething you've possibly never
done that you can actually getbetter at. If you want to go
(26:17):
deeper and you want to get thisdone. These are the skills I'm
teaching my clients. So messageme if you want to talk about
possibly working together, andwe can schedule a consultation,
it's a good time. I've got youhave a great Tuesday. If you are
ready to lose weight and keep itoff permanently, if you have
tried diets and you know theydon't work and you're ready for
(26:38):
real change. I would love tohave a conversation with you. I
coach women privately one onone, and I'm currently offering
consultations to talk aboutworking together. click my link
in the show notes or head toCourtney Gray coaching.com Or
you can find me on Instagram atCourtney Gray coaching