September 26, 2023 • 22 mins
One of the strategies I share with my clients who want to lose weight permanently and get healthy is allowing hunger.
For some people, they never feel much hunger because they eat or snack all the time.
They eat all day and associate a lot of joy with everything they eat.
Learning to use hunger as a tool to fuel our body is a great way to lose weight and feel in control around food.
I share how to do this and what to expect when you allow yourself to get hungry before eating.
Interested in talking to me about losing weight permanently? I work 1:1 with women privately to lose weight in an exciting, empowering, and sustainable way.
Book a consultation HERE
Courtney
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Courtney
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:02):
Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women
who are ready to lose weightpermanently, and love their body
love the way they feel. Andlook, I'm going to teach you how
to stop overeating and obsessingabout food and your weight. So
you can be more confident andempowered to then create an even
bigger life. I'm life and bodycoach Courtney Gray. And each
(00:25):
week, I'm going to be teachingyou how losing and maintaining
your ideal weight can be so mucheasier than it's been in the
past. And by taking care of youand achieving your health goals,
you will live in even moreamazing life than the one you
have lived so far. Let's getstarted. Welcome to the podcast
(00:45):
89 allowing hunger, I cannotbelieve it is the last week in
September next week the podcastis coming out and it's going to
be October 2, I feel like thisyear is flying by if you are
interested in working with me, Ihave space for a few more
clients, to take them throughthe end of the year into the
(01:07):
beginning of next year. Imaginewhere you will be in six months,
if you decide to invest inyourself and in your health and
in your body. And in yourfuture. Please reach out to me
if I can help you lose weightpermanently in a beautiful way
in a way that will reallytransform your whole life. It is
definitely more than a diet wework on basically everything I
(01:30):
talk to you here on the podcastabout but you and I work one on
one privately. And the firststep would be scheduling a free
consultation with me there is alink in the show notes. There's
a link everywhere. There's alink on my website. And if you
follow me on Instagram, there'salso a link there. So reach out.
I would love to meet with youover zoom and talk about how I
(01:50):
can help you and answer anyquestions you might have. So
today we're talking aboutallowing hunger. I'm laughing
already. I was out to dinnerwith a girlfriend of mine. And
she said okay, Courtney, tell mehow I can lose weight
permanently. But I want it to beeasy. And we both just heard him
laughing. I'm like, Of courseyou do. We all do. And she said
she goes okay, like if I justdid one thing, just tell me one
(02:13):
thing to do. And so she was kindof being funny. But I was like,
Okay, let's do this. And so Isaid, Do you feel hungry? And
she's like, What are you talkingabout? I go do you go through
your days? And do you feelhunger very often. And she at
first like it was like I don'treally know and had to think
about it was so I said so that'sprobably a node we were just
(02:34):
dying, laughing. And I said,Okay, don't eat until you're
hungry. And I said, in fact, youknow how hunger comes in waves.
You might not know thiswonderful listener, but like
hunger comes in waves. And Isaid, allow a few waves before
you eat. And she just looked atme. She goes, Oh, okay. And so
(02:58):
do you find yourself eatingoften. And you don't experience
hunger. A great strategy forlosing weight is getting
yourself to experience hunger,allowing yourself to experience
hunger. And you know, I'm alwaystalking about strategy and
mindset. So we're going to diveinto the mindset a little bit
later in the podcast. But beforeI did dive in, I want to be
(03:21):
clear about a few things. Idon't believe any of us should
be living in a constant state ofhunger. I don't think losing
weight and maintaining it meansyou have to be hungry all the
time. I know that there's I waseven watching one funny real on
Instagram where these moms aretalking about, you know how
skinny girls are hungry all thetime. I just I just disagree.
(03:43):
And we shouldn't, we shouldn'tbe striving for that it isn't
necessary. I don't want thispodcast to send the wrong
message to the wrong person. Butfor a lot of people, they're
kind of eating all the time.
They're not ever experiencinghunger. So this strategy I'm
talking about might not be foryou. So who is this for this
(04:03):
strategy. This podcast really isfor people who find themselves
never really experiencinghunger, because they eat very
often. Or when they do feelhunger. Oftentimes, they feel
like it's an emergency, theyfeel like they have to get out
of hunger very quickly. Thesepeople are usually always
(04:25):
popping something into theirmouth even like just a bite like
the hair a little bit here alittle bit there. I call it like
hand to mouth. This podcast foris for you. If you feel like
you're grazing most of the day,and you feel like you can't go
very long without something evena drink unless we're talking
about water. But as a society wehave normalized over eating and
(04:49):
eating constantly because foodis so accessible to us. You
know, it's the three meals a dayand now that's been the standard
For many years, and now it'sthree meals a day, with snacks
with drinks, coffee drinks, allthe drinks mixed in. And we've
been conditioned to really eatall the time for every reason,
(05:10):
grief, stress, excitement,celebration, festivity, I know,
I always get the urge to eatwhen it's something festive.
boredom, people eat their threemeals a day, and then their
snacks. And then there's anafter meal in the evening while
they're watching TV. Oh, theyeat because it's breakfast time,
(05:30):
because it's lunchtime, becauseit's dinnertime. Part of the
problem for so many people isthat their whole day revolves
around the next thing they'regoing to put in their mouth. So
if this is true for you, if youhear this and you feel like
gosh, I kind of I resonate withthat. It's okay. That's why
you're here. And I want to offerup another way for you, I
(05:53):
certainly don't want you to feellike if I have kind of described
what you're going through thatthere's any shame in that,
because that's really what oursociety caters to. It's totally
normal for a lot of people. Theother way that I want to offer
to you is getting comfortableallowing your body to get hungry
in a healthy way. So take a lookat your habits, and your daily
(06:15):
routines and be really honestwith yourself, are you allowing
hunger to cue you to eat. And sowhen we look at hunger, when we
look hunger up in thedictionary, I thought this was
interesting. The first thingwasn't interesting. It says a
compelling need or desire forfood. Like that makes sense. But
then the second thing I thoughtwas interesting. The second
(06:36):
definition of hunger is thepainful sensation caused by the
need for food. I thought thatwas so fascinating that they
called it a painful sensation, Iwould definitely call it
uncomfortable, it doesn't feelgood. Have you ever been like in
a work meeting that went longerthan you would have liked and
you're sitting there and youfeel the hunger and it doesn't
(06:57):
feel good. But I don't know thatI would call that painful.
Hunger is a sensation in yourbody. It's your body telling you
it wants fuel, your body isdesigned to get hungry. The
human body was not designed toeat constantly. This is why we
experience hunger. So our bodycan tell us, hey, I need some
(07:18):
fuel. So if you're notexperiencing hunger, you have
the opportunity to take a breakfrom eating and wait for hunger
to come. And for a lot of peoplefor my clients when they do this
one simple, not always easy, butone simple tweak to the way
they're living, they actuallystart losing weight right away,
(07:38):
because they're just used toeating so often when they take
that away. They're consumingless food. So now it's a simple
strategy. And my hope is youwill implement it today. But I
want to talk about what toexpect. So hunger, like I said
before, and you know, I'm surethat hunk, well, I think you
will know this. So like I saidbefore hunger comes in waves,
(07:59):
you'll feel the sensation inyour stomach. But did you know
if you're the kind of personthat doesn't really sit with it
very often,did you know that it will
subside. So you'll have a waveof hunger, and it will go away
after a little bit. And this iswhat you want. You want to let
it subside. And then it willcome back again. Your body's
(08:20):
like, Hey, girl, especially ifyou have not been allowing
hunger, you will start to feelhunger. It's like this is what I
consider my body going, Hey,girl, you forgot something.
Where's the food, you've beenhand to Michael at hand to
mouth, eating snacking all thetime, where's my food. But if
you just kind of say I see you,and we're going to let that roll
(08:43):
through it will subside. Andthat will come again. And you
will feel that it's almost kindof like a rising in your
stomach. The wave will come up.
Hey, girl. And so that's whatthey want you to do is if you're
going to do this, I want you tothink of it going Hey, girl, and
when I say Hey, girl, it's notan emergency. It's just a
reminder, hey, you're doingsomething different, which is a
(09:06):
good thing, right? We're tryingto do things differently. So
when your hunger says, Hey,girl, you're gonna go hey, I see
you. We're doing things a littledifferently. And we're going to
allow it and you'll find that itrolls away. And when it rolls or
waves away, just notice it gothat is fascinating. I'm not
hungry anymore. And then it'llcome up again and let it just
play out a little bit see if youcan go longer than you would
(09:29):
normally go before eating. Sofor some people, when I
explained this to my clients,you they might they sometimes
they hear it they Oh god youknow what? It sounds so stupid.
I've literally had a client saythis to me. It sounds so stupid,
but I never actually consideredstopping the snacking and
allowing myself to get hungry. Ijust I've just been in such a
(09:50):
habit for whatever reason ofeating often so often. Usually
it's because of the way we wereraised or maybe you're in an
office where there's foodconstantly. Eat, or when you're
at your house, it's just youjust have gotten in the habit of
constantly eating. So when I saythis to you, it might not have
occurred to you to allowyourself to get hungry. And so
(10:12):
maybe you're like, Oh, this iskind of an easy tweak for me
beautiful. Thanks for the tipgreat for others. When you
decide to allow yourself to feelthe hunger, it might feel like
an emergency, it might feel kindof horrible. And when I say feel
horrible, I don't mean painful,like the physical feeling of
pain or horror, it might be moreof a mental thing. The human
(10:36):
body was designed to seekpleasure and avoid pain.
Allowing yourself to get hungrygoes against this. So you might
not only feel like it's actualpain or an actual sensation, but
there might be emotions thatcome up. I had a client long ago
(10:56):
that had a fear come up.
Whenever she felt hunger, shewould, I would say to her, how's
it going, and she goes, everytime I allow myself to get
hungry, I actually feel scared.
And I'm like, like, and Iactually questioned her scared,
yes, scared. And she was overeating, she was eating all the
time, because she would getreally anxious when she got
hungry. And so we uncovered thatthis was tied to the fact that
(11:19):
she didn't always have access tofood growing up. She was hungry
very often. And as an adult,this is why she overrate, she
wanted to feel full becausefeeling for men safety to her.
I'm taking a moment to tell youthat I work privately one on one
with women to help them loseweight permanently, and create a
(11:40):
body they love. This is not adiet program. This is a
customized program to teach youhow to eat the way you want to
eat forever. No morerestriction, no more willpower,
no more losing weight only tosabotage and then gain it back
again. The problem is not you,we women are so hard on
ourselves. And we think if wecould just get motivated or more
(12:02):
determined if we could find theright diet plan or cut out
certain foods, we will loseweight and be happy. But the
answer is changing your brainand how you think and feel,
changing your self image and howyou talk to yourself. Learning
how to trust yourself. This ishow you lose weight permanently.
It sounds too good to be true.
But I promise you it's not. Thework I do with my clients is
(12:24):
powerful, exciting and loving.
And it's hard work to but theresult is change forever. The
women I work with are smart andsuccessful in so many areas of
their life, they just haven'tbeen able to figure out their
body. This is where I come in,head to my website to schedule a
consultation. And we can talkabout all the details back to
(12:46):
the podcast. And so this was areally interesting exercise. All
this came up because she wasallowing herself to feel this
hunger and then we coached onit. And so she said, Okay, now
I'm an adult, I know I'm safe. Ihave an abundance of food. But
I'm overweight. And I'm actuallythe opposite of safe because I'm
(13:07):
now pre diabetic and she wasn'tmoving as well as she wanted to
move. And she when she went andgot bloodwork done, the numbers
were not where she wanted themto be. And so she realized that
wow, in trying to keep myselfsafe, because I didn't feel safe
as a child. Now I'm actuallyputting myself in danger. So
that's why there's so much thathappens when you allow yourself
(13:31):
to get hungry and you figure outwhy you're over eating in the
first place. Why you're snackingall the time in the first place.
You might think in thebeginning, well, it's just
tastes good, maybe. But when youreally go deeper when you take
the food away, what comes up foryou. In that moment, what
happens? How do you feel and whyyou'll uncover so much about why
(13:55):
you eat more than what your bodyneeds when you take the food
away. So make sure when you dothis, you are really curious.
And you say hi, how do I feel?
God? I feel like I might have alittle fear coming up. Why is
that? Why do I feel fear? Andreally start to question what's
coming up for you. I had anotherclient who started allowing
herself to get hungry and sherealized she felt like she was
(14:16):
really missing out. And bytaking the food away even though
even though the she knew thatwas going to help her get to her
health goals and her weightgoals. She felt a little
depressed and so she came to thecoaching calls that I feel a
little bit of depression. Shehad so much joy wrapped around
food and when she took all thesnacking away, she felt empty.
Like on both levels she feltphysically empty and mentally
(14:40):
kind of void. But what sherealized was she didn't want to
give so much power and joy overto food. So much joy placed on
eating throughout her day. Shewas spending so much time
thinking about food and lovingit on food, she felt like she
even said she was I feel likeI'm in love, I have a
(15:03):
relationship with food, and itwas taking the place of other
things. And so I told her, Isaid, you're gonna have to be
willing to give up a little bitof that joy and love, on food in
order to love on other thingsand create a bigger life for
yourself. And I felt this way at1.2. I used to think about foods
so much for me, it wasn't eatingall the time, it was more of the
(15:27):
eating, and then the shaming.
And I would just think aboutwhat to eat what not to eat. It
was I was spending so muchmental space on food, I
literally right now, as I'mtalking to you, I have my hands
on my face. Because I'm like, Ohmy God, it was such a horrible
place to be in. So this strategyis allowing hunger, it's very
(15:50):
simple. You eat your meal,whatever meal you eat, and then
you might as well make it ahealthy one, right? Get your
protein, make sure it's ahealthy meal. So it's going to
really satisfy and, and loveyour body, right. But then don't
eat again until you allowyourself to get hungry. And when
I say get hungry, don't justwait for that first wave of
(16:11):
hunger. Let a few waves go by, IGoogled when I was preparing for
this podcast, I Googled like howlong a person can go for living
without eating. And it says likebefore your body really starts
breaking down. It's like 30days. Now I have no idea that
was a literal, that was a topthing that came up in Google.
But if it's 30 days, you canallow yourself to roll through
(16:34):
some hunger for an hour or two.
So remember, it comes in waves,give it a few waves, you are
going to be safe, even if inthat moment. What comes up for
you is you don't feel safe.
Remind yourself hunger is not anemergency. I'm doing something
different. Why do I feel thisway? Whether it's not safe, or
(16:57):
whether it's depressed? Like whydo I feel this way? And really,
I would suggest journaling itout and really getting curious.
I was recently at a businessmeeting, I think it was when I
was in Nashville this year. Andit was an all day meeting and
the day before. So it was likefour days, the day before they
had in the hallway. They had abunch of tea and coffee and all
(17:20):
that. And then they had applesand bananas with all the
different other snacks. And so Iplan on like, okay, good,
that's, that's what I'll eat ifI get hungry. And then on the
second day, there were there wasno bananas and apples, there
were only granola bars. And Ireally couldn't take time I was
kind of working this meeting, soI couldn't really take time to
go, you know, down to the coffeeshop and find something else.
(17:43):
And I remember being of course,bummed like where's my banana,
dammit. But I thought, Okay,let's get hungry. It's totally
not a problem. I can go forhours and drink some tea, and
allow the rolling of hunger.
And this is something that hasreally helped me in my life. I
would rather personally I wouldrather allow the rolling
(18:06):
sensation of hunger in my bodythan eat a granola bar. Not that
the granola bar is going to domuch of anything in terms of
calories, but my body is notgoing to love a granola bar
because I don't eat granolabars. So I would rather allow
the rolling waves of hunger andyou can too. So what happens
when you decide to allowyourself to get a little hungry?
(18:29):
really dive into what yourfeeling is? Do you feel panicky?
Why? Why do you feel panicky?
What comes up? Do you feelanxious? Why? Uncovering the why
from like a loving curiosity isso powerful and be willing to do
it differently for the sake ofyour health. And to be able to
(18:50):
enjoy your body more and feelsexy in your body and feel like
you move better. And you'regoing to live longer. And when
you come up with that why? Ifeel a little panicky why? Well,
I feel like I'm worried aboutwhen am I going to eat next and
then you realize, well, that's astupid thought. Of course I have
food around me. I know I'm goingto eat next. Why do you think
(19:12):
you feel that way? And then youthink, oh, maybe it has
something to do with ourchildhood, you will be amazed. I
know. It's kind of a joke. Whenit comes to therapy. It's always
like, Oh, what did your mom ordad do to you know, when you
think about going to atherapist, all the jokes they
have about going to therapy, butit is amazing. You'll be
surprised with a lot of thereasons we eat. The way we eat
(19:32):
is based on our childhood isbased on how maybe our partner
eats. It's based on how we weretaught to eat. So when you
identify how am I feeling rightnow? Okay, I'm feeling a little
bit anxious. I'm feeling alittle panicky what comes up for
you? Why do you think you feelthat way? What thought Is it and
(19:52):
it's going to be a thought like,I don't I shouldn't have to do
this or Oh, this feels like I'mspending too much time thinking
about food. It's funny, a lot oftimes people will come to me and
they'll say, I don't want tothink about food so much. And
then when I say, okay, one ofthe things I want you to do is
start allowing hunger. Andthey're like, now I'm thinking
(20:12):
about it all the time. Yeah, weneed to dive in in order to dive
out. So when you come up withyour why, why do you feel the
way you feel? And you uncoverthat? Do you want to stay in the
body you're at right now,because of that? Why is that?
Why a good enough reason for youto stay where you're at right
now? That's a great question toask yourself. And so if you're
(20:35):
saying, Hmm, I'm feeling alittle bit anxious, like, my
client did this. I'm feelinganxious. And I'm feeling I think
she actually said she felt fearbecause she had some food
insecurity growing up. She'slike, okay, it makes sense. But
now I don't have foodinsecurity, I have enough food,
I am safe, I have enough money,I feel secure. Do I want to
(20:58):
continue over eating and go downthis path of not being the
healthy person I want to be?
Because of this insecurity frommy childhood? No, her answer was
no. And she could make thatdecision from such a clean
space. That's such a powerful,aware space. And so then what
(21:22):
happens is the next time she thehunger came up again, the next
time, she went to experiencehunger, and it came up again,
and she goes, Oh, that's here itis, again, I'm feeling this way.
Because when I was a child, Ididn't always have food and that
felt very scary to me. And theonly time I really felt safe was
when I had a full belly. And soI am trying to get myself a full
(21:43):
belly right now. When you figurethis stuff out the mindset
behind why you do what you do.
It is so much easier for you tomove forward and make changes in
your life. So do you want tostay where you are right now
because of your why such a greatquestion to ask yourself. I hope
you love this podcast. I hope itwas helpful to you. I know it
(22:04):
was helpful to my friend when wewere out to dinner and we talked
about this. If you would like toschedule a consult with me the
link is in the show notes and Ican't wait to dive into all of
this with you have a greatTuesday. If you are ready to
lose weight and keep it offpermanently, if you have tried
diets and you know they don'twork and you are ready for real
change. I would love to have aconversation with you. I coach
(22:26):
women privately one on one, andI'm currently offering
consultations to talk aboutworking together. click my link
in the show notes or head toCourtney Gray coaching.com Or
you can find me on Instagram atCourtney Gray coaching
Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women
who are ready to lose weightpermanently, and love their body
love the way they feel. Andlook, I'm going to teach you how
to stop overeating and obsessingabout food and your weight. So
you can be more confident andempowered to then create an even
bigger life. I'm life and bodycoach Courtney Gray. And each
(00:25):
week, I'm going to be teachingyou how losing and maintaining
your ideal weight can be so mucheasier than it's been in the
past. And by taking care of youand achieving your health goals,
you will live in even moreamazing life than the one you
have lived so far. Let's getstarted. Welcome to the podcast
(00:45):
89 allowing hunger, I cannotbelieve it is the last week in
September next week the podcastis coming out and it's going to
be October 2, I feel like thisyear is flying by if you are
interested in working with me, Ihave space for a few more
clients, to take them throughthe end of the year into the
(01:07):
beginning of next year. Imaginewhere you will be in six months,
if you decide to invest inyourself and in your health and
in your body. And in yourfuture. Please reach out to me
if I can help you lose weightpermanently in a beautiful way
in a way that will reallytransform your whole life. It is
definitely more than a diet wework on basically everything I
(01:30):
talk to you here on the podcastabout but you and I work one on
one privately. And the firststep would be scheduling a free
consultation with me there is alink in the show notes. There's
a link everywhere. There's alink on my website. And if you
follow me on Instagram, there'salso a link there. So reach out.
I would love to meet with youover zoom and talk about how I
(01:50):
can help you and answer anyquestions you might have. So
today we're talking aboutallowing hunger. I'm laughing
already. I was out to dinnerwith a girlfriend of mine. And
she said okay, Courtney, tell mehow I can lose weight
permanently. But I want it to beeasy. And we both just heard him
laughing. I'm like, Of courseyou do. We all do. And she said
she goes okay, like if I justdid one thing, just tell me one
(02:13):
thing to do. And so she was kindof being funny. But I was like,
Okay, let's do this. And so Isaid, Do you feel hungry? And
she's like, What are you talkingabout? I go do you go through
your days? And do you feelhunger very often. And she at
first like it was like I don'treally know and had to think
about it was so I said so that'sprobably a node we were just
(02:34):
dying, laughing. And I said,Okay, don't eat until you're
hungry. And I said, in fact, youknow how hunger comes in waves.
You might not know thiswonderful listener, but like
hunger comes in waves. And Isaid, allow a few waves before
you eat. And she just looked atme. She goes, Oh, okay. And so
(02:58):
do you find yourself eatingoften. And you don't experience
hunger. A great strategy forlosing weight is getting
yourself to experience hunger,allowing yourself to experience
hunger. And you know, I'm alwaystalking about strategy and
mindset. So we're going to diveinto the mindset a little bit
later in the podcast. But beforeI did dive in, I want to be
(03:21):
clear about a few things. Idon't believe any of us should
be living in a constant state ofhunger. I don't think losing
weight and maintaining it meansyou have to be hungry all the
time. I know that there's I waseven watching one funny real on
Instagram where these moms aretalking about, you know how
skinny girls are hungry all thetime. I just I just disagree.
(03:43):
And we shouldn't, we shouldn'tbe striving for that it isn't
necessary. I don't want thispodcast to send the wrong
message to the wrong person. Butfor a lot of people, they're
kind of eating all the time.
They're not ever experiencinghunger. So this strategy I'm
talking about might not be foryou. So who is this for this
(04:03):
strategy. This podcast really isfor people who find themselves
never really experiencinghunger, because they eat very
often. Or when they do feelhunger. Oftentimes, they feel
like it's an emergency, theyfeel like they have to get out
of hunger very quickly. Thesepeople are usually always
(04:25):
popping something into theirmouth even like just a bite like
the hair a little bit here alittle bit there. I call it like
hand to mouth. This podcast foris for you. If you feel like
you're grazing most of the day,and you feel like you can't go
very long without something evena drink unless we're talking
about water. But as a society wehave normalized over eating and
(04:49):
eating constantly because foodis so accessible to us. You
know, it's the three meals a dayand now that's been the standard
For many years, and now it'sthree meals a day, with snacks
with drinks, coffee drinks, allthe drinks mixed in. And we've
been conditioned to really eatall the time for every reason,
(05:10):
grief, stress, excitement,celebration, festivity, I know,
I always get the urge to eatwhen it's something festive.
boredom, people eat their threemeals a day, and then their
snacks. And then there's anafter meal in the evening while
they're watching TV. Oh, theyeat because it's breakfast time,
(05:30):
because it's lunchtime, becauseit's dinnertime. Part of the
problem for so many people isthat their whole day revolves
around the next thing they'regoing to put in their mouth. So
if this is true for you, if youhear this and you feel like
gosh, I kind of I resonate withthat. It's okay. That's why
you're here. And I want to offerup another way for you, I
(05:53):
certainly don't want you to feellike if I have kind of described
what you're going through thatthere's any shame in that,
because that's really what oursociety caters to. It's totally
normal for a lot of people. Theother way that I want to offer
to you is getting comfortableallowing your body to get hungry
in a healthy way. So take a lookat your habits, and your daily
(06:15):
routines and be really honestwith yourself, are you allowing
hunger to cue you to eat. And sowhen we look at hunger, when we
look hunger up in thedictionary, I thought this was
interesting. The first thingwasn't interesting. It says a
compelling need or desire forfood. Like that makes sense. But
then the second thing I thoughtwas interesting. The second
(06:36):
definition of hunger is thepainful sensation caused by the
need for food. I thought thatwas so fascinating that they
called it a painful sensation, Iwould definitely call it
uncomfortable, it doesn't feelgood. Have you ever been like in
a work meeting that went longerthan you would have liked and
you're sitting there and youfeel the hunger and it doesn't
(06:57):
feel good. But I don't know thatI would call that painful.
Hunger is a sensation in yourbody. It's your body telling you
it wants fuel, your body isdesigned to get hungry. The
human body was not designed toeat constantly. This is why we
experience hunger. So our bodycan tell us, hey, I need some
(07:18):
fuel. So if you're notexperiencing hunger, you have
the opportunity to take a breakfrom eating and wait for hunger
to come. And for a lot of peoplefor my clients when they do this
one simple, not always easy, butone simple tweak to the way
they're living, they actuallystart losing weight right away,
(07:38):
because they're just used toeating so often when they take
that away. They're consumingless food. So now it's a simple
strategy. And my hope is youwill implement it today. But I
want to talk about what toexpect. So hunger, like I said
before, and you know, I'm surethat hunk, well, I think you
will know this. So like I saidbefore hunger comes in waves,
(07:59):
you'll feel the sensation inyour stomach. But did you know
if you're the kind of personthat doesn't really sit with it
very often,did you know that it will
subside. So you'll have a waveof hunger, and it will go away
after a little bit. And this iswhat you want. You want to let
it subside. And then it willcome back again. Your body's
(08:20):
like, Hey, girl, especially ifyou have not been allowing
hunger, you will start to feelhunger. It's like this is what I
consider my body going, Hey,girl, you forgot something.
Where's the food, you've beenhand to Michael at hand to
mouth, eating snacking all thetime, where's my food. But if
you just kind of say I see you,and we're going to let that roll
(08:43):
through it will subside. Andthat will come again. And you
will feel that it's almost kindof like a rising in your
stomach. The wave will come up.
Hey, girl. And so that's whatthey want you to do is if you're
going to do this, I want you tothink of it going Hey, girl, and
when I say Hey, girl, it's notan emergency. It's just a
reminder, hey, you're doingsomething different, which is a
(09:06):
good thing, right? We're tryingto do things differently. So
when your hunger says, Hey,girl, you're gonna go hey, I see
you. We're doing things a littledifferently. And we're going to
allow it and you'll find that itrolls away. And when it rolls or
waves away, just notice it gothat is fascinating. I'm not
hungry anymore. And then it'llcome up again and let it just
play out a little bit see if youcan go longer than you would
(09:29):
normally go before eating. Sofor some people, when I
explained this to my clients,you they might they sometimes
they hear it they Oh god youknow what? It sounds so stupid.
I've literally had a client saythis to me. It sounds so stupid,
but I never actually consideredstopping the snacking and
allowing myself to get hungry. Ijust I've just been in such a
(09:50):
habit for whatever reason ofeating often so often. Usually
it's because of the way we wereraised or maybe you're in an
office where there's foodconstantly. Eat, or when you're
at your house, it's just youjust have gotten in the habit of
constantly eating. So when I saythis to you, it might not have
occurred to you to allowyourself to get hungry. And so
(10:12):
maybe you're like, Oh, this iskind of an easy tweak for me
beautiful. Thanks for the tipgreat for others. When you
decide to allow yourself to feelthe hunger, it might feel like
an emergency, it might feel kindof horrible. And when I say feel
horrible, I don't mean painful,like the physical feeling of
pain or horror, it might be moreof a mental thing. The human
(10:36):
body was designed to seekpleasure and avoid pain.
Allowing yourself to get hungrygoes against this. So you might
not only feel like it's actualpain or an actual sensation, but
there might be emotions thatcome up. I had a client long ago
(10:56):
that had a fear come up.
Whenever she felt hunger, shewould, I would say to her, how's
it going, and she goes, everytime I allow myself to get
hungry, I actually feel scared.
And I'm like, like, and Iactually questioned her scared,
yes, scared. And she was overeating, she was eating all the
time, because she would getreally anxious when she got
hungry. And so we uncovered thatthis was tied to the fact that
(11:19):
she didn't always have access tofood growing up. She was hungry
very often. And as an adult,this is why she overrate, she
wanted to feel full becausefeeling for men safety to her.
I'm taking a moment to tell youthat I work privately one on one
with women to help them loseweight permanently, and create a
(11:40):
body they love. This is not adiet program. This is a
customized program to teach youhow to eat the way you want to
eat forever. No morerestriction, no more willpower,
no more losing weight only tosabotage and then gain it back
again. The problem is not you,we women are so hard on
ourselves. And we think if wecould just get motivated or more
(12:02):
determined if we could find theright diet plan or cut out
certain foods, we will loseweight and be happy. But the
answer is changing your brainand how you think and feel,
changing your self image and howyou talk to yourself. Learning
how to trust yourself. This ishow you lose weight permanently.
It sounds too good to be true.
But I promise you it's not. Thework I do with my clients is
(12:24):
powerful, exciting and loving.
And it's hard work to but theresult is change forever. The
women I work with are smart andsuccessful in so many areas of
their life, they just haven'tbeen able to figure out their
body. This is where I come in,head to my website to schedule a
consultation. And we can talkabout all the details back to
(12:46):
the podcast. And so this was areally interesting exercise. All
this came up because she wasallowing herself to feel this
hunger and then we coached onit. And so she said, Okay, now
I'm an adult, I know I'm safe. Ihave an abundance of food. But
I'm overweight. And I'm actuallythe opposite of safe because I'm
(13:07):
now pre diabetic and she wasn'tmoving as well as she wanted to
move. And she when she went andgot bloodwork done, the numbers
were not where she wanted themto be. And so she realized that
wow, in trying to keep myselfsafe, because I didn't feel safe
as a child. Now I'm actuallyputting myself in danger. So
that's why there's so much thathappens when you allow yourself
(13:31):
to get hungry and you figure outwhy you're over eating in the
first place. Why you're snackingall the time in the first place.
You might think in thebeginning, well, it's just
tastes good, maybe. But when youreally go deeper when you take
the food away, what comes up foryou. In that moment, what
happens? How do you feel and whyyou'll uncover so much about why
(13:55):
you eat more than what your bodyneeds when you take the food
away. So make sure when you dothis, you are really curious.
And you say hi, how do I feel?
God? I feel like I might have alittle fear coming up. Why is
that? Why do I feel fear? Andreally start to question what's
coming up for you. I had anotherclient who started allowing
herself to get hungry and sherealized she felt like she was
(14:16):
really missing out. And bytaking the food away even though
even though the she knew thatwas going to help her get to her
health goals and her weightgoals. She felt a little
depressed and so she came to thecoaching calls that I feel a
little bit of depression. Shehad so much joy wrapped around
food and when she took all thesnacking away, she felt empty.
Like on both levels she feltphysically empty and mentally
(14:40):
kind of void. But what sherealized was she didn't want to
give so much power and joy overto food. So much joy placed on
eating throughout her day. Shewas spending so much time
thinking about food and lovingit on food, she felt like she
even said she was I feel likeI'm in love, I have a
(15:03):
relationship with food, and itwas taking the place of other
things. And so I told her, Isaid, you're gonna have to be
willing to give up a little bitof that joy and love, on food in
order to love on other thingsand create a bigger life for
yourself. And I felt this way at1.2. I used to think about foods
so much for me, it wasn't eatingall the time, it was more of the
(15:27):
eating, and then the shaming.
And I would just think aboutwhat to eat what not to eat. It
was I was spending so muchmental space on food, I
literally right now, as I'mtalking to you, I have my hands
on my face. Because I'm like, Ohmy God, it was such a horrible
place to be in. So this strategyis allowing hunger, it's very
(15:50):
simple. You eat your meal,whatever meal you eat, and then
you might as well make it ahealthy one, right? Get your
protein, make sure it's ahealthy meal. So it's going to
really satisfy and, and loveyour body, right. But then don't
eat again until you allowyourself to get hungry. And when
I say get hungry, don't justwait for that first wave of
(16:11):
hunger. Let a few waves go by, IGoogled when I was preparing for
this podcast, I Googled like howlong a person can go for living
without eating. And it says likebefore your body really starts
breaking down. It's like 30days. Now I have no idea that
was a literal, that was a topthing that came up in Google.
But if it's 30 days, you canallow yourself to roll through
(16:34):
some hunger for an hour or two.
So remember, it comes in waves,give it a few waves, you are
going to be safe, even if inthat moment. What comes up for
you is you don't feel safe.
Remind yourself hunger is not anemergency. I'm doing something
different. Why do I feel thisway? Whether it's not safe, or
(16:57):
whether it's depressed? Like whydo I feel this way? And really,
I would suggest journaling itout and really getting curious.
I was recently at a businessmeeting, I think it was when I
was in Nashville this year. Andit was an all day meeting and
the day before. So it was likefour days, the day before they
had in the hallway. They had abunch of tea and coffee and all
(17:20):
that. And then they had applesand bananas with all the
different other snacks. And so Iplan on like, okay, good,
that's, that's what I'll eat ifI get hungry. And then on the
second day, there were there wasno bananas and apples, there
were only granola bars. And Ireally couldn't take time I was
kind of working this meeting, soI couldn't really take time to
go, you know, down to the coffeeshop and find something else.
(17:43):
And I remember being of course,bummed like where's my banana,
dammit. But I thought, Okay,let's get hungry. It's totally
not a problem. I can go forhours and drink some tea, and
allow the rolling of hunger.
And this is something that hasreally helped me in my life. I
would rather personally I wouldrather allow the rolling
(18:06):
sensation of hunger in my bodythan eat a granola bar. Not that
the granola bar is going to domuch of anything in terms of
calories, but my body is notgoing to love a granola bar
because I don't eat granolabars. So I would rather allow
the rolling waves of hunger andyou can too. So what happens
when you decide to allowyourself to get a little hungry?
(18:29):
really dive into what yourfeeling is? Do you feel panicky?
Why? Why do you feel panicky?
What comes up? Do you feelanxious? Why? Uncovering the why
from like a loving curiosity isso powerful and be willing to do
it differently for the sake ofyour health. And to be able to
(18:50):
enjoy your body more and feelsexy in your body and feel like
you move better. And you'regoing to live longer. And when
you come up with that why? Ifeel a little panicky why? Well,
I feel like I'm worried aboutwhen am I going to eat next and
then you realize, well, that's astupid thought. Of course I have
food around me. I know I'm goingto eat next. Why do you think
(19:12):
you feel that way? And then youthink, oh, maybe it has
something to do with ourchildhood, you will be amazed. I
know. It's kind of a joke. Whenit comes to therapy. It's always
like, Oh, what did your mom ordad do to you know, when you
think about going to atherapist, all the jokes they
have about going to therapy, butit is amazing. You'll be
surprised with a lot of thereasons we eat. The way we eat
(19:32):
is based on our childhood isbased on how maybe our partner
eats. It's based on how we weretaught to eat. So when you
identify how am I feeling rightnow? Okay, I'm feeling a little
bit anxious. I'm feeling alittle panicky what comes up for
you? Why do you think you feelthat way? What thought Is it and
(19:52):
it's going to be a thought like,I don't I shouldn't have to do
this or Oh, this feels like I'mspending too much time thinking
about food. It's funny, a lot oftimes people will come to me and
they'll say, I don't want tothink about food so much. And
then when I say, okay, one ofthe things I want you to do is
start allowing hunger. Andthey're like, now I'm thinking
(20:12):
about it all the time. Yeah, weneed to dive in in order to dive
out. So when you come up withyour why, why do you feel the
way you feel? And you uncoverthat? Do you want to stay in the
body you're at right now,because of that? Why is that?
Why a good enough reason for youto stay where you're at right
now? That's a great question toask yourself. And so if you're
(20:35):
saying, Hmm, I'm feeling alittle bit anxious, like, my
client did this. I'm feelinganxious. And I'm feeling I think
she actually said she felt fearbecause she had some food
insecurity growing up. She'slike, okay, it makes sense. But
now I don't have foodinsecurity, I have enough food,
I am safe, I have enough money,I feel secure. Do I want to
(20:58):
continue over eating and go downthis path of not being the
healthy person I want to be?
Because of this insecurity frommy childhood? No, her answer was
no. And she could make thatdecision from such a clean
space. That's such a powerful,aware space. And so then what
(21:22):
happens is the next time she thehunger came up again, the next
time, she went to experiencehunger, and it came up again,
and she goes, Oh, that's here itis, again, I'm feeling this way.
Because when I was a child, Ididn't always have food and that
felt very scary to me. And theonly time I really felt safe was
when I had a full belly. And soI am trying to get myself a full
(21:43):
belly right now. When you figurethis stuff out the mindset
behind why you do what you do.
It is so much easier for you tomove forward and make changes in
your life. So do you want tostay where you are right now
because of your why such a greatquestion to ask yourself. I hope
you love this podcast. I hope itwas helpful to you. I know it
(22:04):
was helpful to my friend when wewere out to dinner and we talked
about this. If you would like toschedule a consult with me the
link is in the show notes and Ican't wait to dive into all of
this with you have a greatTuesday. If you are ready to
lose weight and keep it offpermanently, if you have tried
diets and you know they don'twork and you are ready for real
change. I would love to have aconversation with you. I coach
(22:26):
women privately one on one, andI'm currently offering
consultations to talk aboutworking together. click my link
in the show notes or head toCourtney Gray coaching.com Or
you can find me on Instagram atCourtney Gray coaching
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