August 15, 2023 • 30 mins
Welcome to a little coffee/cocktail chat with me.
I am giving you a behind the scenes look into my life and how I make big things happen by allowing myself to feel all the feelings....
If you want to change....to create an even more amazing life for yourself, you are going to HAVE to be willing to feel scared....or insecure, or doubt, and anxiety.
It is the way.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:02):
Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women
who are ready to lose weightpermanently, and love their body
love the way they feel. Andlook, I'm going to teach you how
to stop overeating and obsessingabout food and your weight. So
you can be more confident andempowered to then create an even
bigger life. I'm life and bodycoach Courtney Gray. And each
(00:25):
week, I'm going to be teachingyou how losing and maintaining
your ideal weight can be so mucheasier than it's been in the
past, in my taking care of you,and achieving your health goals,
you will live in even moreamazing life than the one you
have lived so far. Let's getstarted.
Welcome to the Podcast, episode83, creating a bigger life even
(00:49):
when you're scared. So today I'mgoing to do things a little bit
differently. I'm going topretend that you and I are
having a little coffee chat ormaybe we are having a little
cocktail chat. We are sittingaround. And you said Courtney,
like what are you up to likewhat's going on in your life? I
know you're helping women loseweight permanently. I know
you're loving coaching all yourclients, but like what else is
(01:11):
going on with you? And I wouldsay, Well, let me tell you all
the things. Why I'm laughing. SoI thought I would just share
with you. And hopefully it willinspire you to create an even
bigger life for yourself.
Because I really feel like formany people, the things they
desire in their heart, whetherit's getting in your best shape,
(01:33):
whether it's losing weight,whether it's starting a
business, whether it's leaving amarriage, whether it's you know,
moving careers, moving states,whatever it is that you want for
your life, I know that there's alot of people not taking steps
to doing those things becausethey're scared or they're
confused. And I'm sayingconfused with quotation marks. I
(01:55):
just posted a reel on Instagramtoday, this morning, where I
talked about a lot of times whenwe say we are confused when we
say we don't really know whatthat really is, at a deeper
level is we do know, but we'rejust scared. And we don't we
don't want to be scared. Wedon't it doesn't feel good to be
scared. So I wanted to do thispodcast and I wanted to talk
(02:17):
about creating a bigger lifeeven when you're scared because
I have to believe that there areso many of you that are possibly
wanting more for yourself. Butyou're get letting fear get in
the way and you don't even knowit. Let me just talk to you like
we're we're we're sippingcocktails or coffees. So right
now what's going on for me in mybusiness is I at the beginning
(02:39):
of this year went to thisamazing two day event on the
east coast where I learned howto be a better public speaker.
I've done a little bit of publicspeaking, I've dabbled more like
small groups and webinars. And Ithink I'm naturally quite good.
But of course, I have a lot tolearn. One of my BFFs is a big
time keynote speaker and she'svery good at her craft. And so I
(03:01):
was talking to her and I wastelling her I said, you know, I
someone reached out and theysaid, Hey, we are interested in
having you speak in 2024. We'relooking for speakers. Can you
send us some information? And Isaid to her, and I said to the
guy who messaged me, and I'mlike, Yes, of course I could
send you information. And then Itold my friend, I'm like, I
really don't know what to sendthem because I have I don't have
(03:21):
a video of me speaking. I mean,I do have obviously I show up on
social media and in this podcastand and I am very confident in
my messaging. And I think I'minspirational on all the things.
But I don't have a beautifulspeech recorded that I can send
them a video of me doing it. Andshe goes, Well, obviously you
(03:44):
need to rent a conference room,get a group of people do a
speech, record it and send it tothem. And I literally when she
said that felt like I was gonnathrow up. And I almost and I
think I even said God damn, Ithink I was like, How dare you
sir? How dare you. So here'swhat I know. Especially in the
last five years, here's what Iknow. When something comes into
(04:06):
my scope of knowledge whensomeone offers me an idea or I
see something in my brainpresents me an idea. And I have
that visceral This is horriblefeeling like to my nervous
system. I now know I've beendoing this long enough that I
now know that I have to do it.
(04:28):
Because that fear or anxiety orwhatever it is that I am feeling
in my stomach. I literally feellike a shot of it in my body.
That now I know is where thegrowth is. It's where the money
is. It's where the change fromnot only myself but change for
other people. It is where all ofmy desire lies. And I know
(04:53):
because I've been doing this fora while that this is the point
to my life. And I'm gonna giveyou the perfect example is I I
wanted to get a job with a bigtime coach in the coaching
industry. I messaged her abouttwo years ago and said, Hey, I
think I'd be a huge asset toyou, if you're looking for
coaches, I would love to beconsidered, she messages me back
and says, I'd love to consideryou in six months, I'm actually
(05:15):
going to be hiring coaches. Somake sure you're on my email
list. You'll hear about it.
Great. So I was thinking tomyself, How do I make it a no
brainer? I think I'm amazingnow. But how do I make it a no
brainer that in six months, I ama hell yes, we have to hire her.
And I had, I was asking myselfthis question. And I had one of
these visceral body momentswhere I thought I should start
(05:39):
doing webinars and I literally awhole like, like throwing up.
And it when i That feeling waslike, Oh my God. And it was. And
I think there's one of thereasons why I have this Oh, my
God is because I know it's done.
Because again, I know that mygrowth and what I want for my
life, if I do the thing that I'mscared to do, it's going to get
(06:02):
me where I want to go. So Istarted doing webinars. And I
remember my first webinar, Ithink I had like 75 people
signed up, which is if you don'tif you if you're not in the
world of webinars and everythingpretty damn good. And so I was
really excited about it. But Iwas more terrified about it. And
I remember standing there likeabout two minutes when I was
getting ready to hit Go Live.
And I actually said out loud,what am I doing, and I couldn't
(06:23):
cry, I wanted to cry. But Icouldn't cry, because then I'd
read my makeup. And in twominutes, I was going to go live
on this instrument on this zoomwebinar. And I was preparing
myself because I've heard manypeople say when they do
webinars, that sometimes there'sonly like one person in the
room, you know, waiting, butlike no one shows up. And so I
told my husband, you have to bethere like you have to be there
(06:45):
because I need someone to makesure my mic is working and
everything and what if no oneshows up, you have to be there.
And so when I hit think I hadmentally prepared myself, to
start and to have like oneperson, maybe just my husband
there. And so when I hit startthere were like about I think 35
(07:05):
to 40 people there. And so Iwent from being horrified like I
might not have anyone here, thento Oh my God, there's so many
people here and they're allwatching and they're all waiting
for me. And so my body was likewhat is happening. But needless
to say it was a huge success.
And I've gone on to do manywebinars. And now because I've
(07:25):
been doing them over and overand over again, I still
definitely get a little nervous.
But I am so much calmer. Mybody, my capacity for being
nervous with webinars has justgrown so much. And now the new
thing for me is so my friendsaid to me, you are going to
have you are going to want torent a space, get a group and do
a video and I thought How dareyou sir, say that to me, because
(07:48):
now I have to do it. And so Ithought to myself, I am going to
do this, it's I have to becauseI know myself I have to because
I had that horrible feeling. ButI thought you know, I instead of
just getting a conference roomand asking 20 friends to be
there, I think I'm gonna go big,like, I might as well go big or
go home. So I want to share withyou what I'm doing. And I want
(08:09):
it to hopefully inspire you inany small way to think big and
to go all in on yourself,whatever it is you want for
yourself. So I've decided in mybeautiful little town of Chico,
California that next February, Iam going to do a big time ladies
night it's going to be I believenow all these details are kind
of up in the air because Ihaven't I haven't locked down
(08:30):
the date yet. I haven't lockeddown the name of this. So this
is you and I are literallycoffee chatting all this out. So
it's going to be in February.
And I am going to do a like aladies wellness night. It's
going to be free, of course. AndI really thought I want I don't
want to do a video just of mestanding like at a conference
(08:51):
room. If I'm going to do this, Iwant it to be amazing. And if
I'm going to do this, I actuallywant it to serve all of my
girlfriends in this town. Like Iwant it to be amazing. And so
there is a beautiful, beautifulwinery that a friend of mine
owns here in town calledalmendra. And it is it's just
one of the prettiest wineriesI've ever been to. And they have
this huge room you walk in, andthere's the restaurant area
(09:14):
where you can order food andthere's a beautiful long bar.
But then if you go in Beyondthat there's this room they call
the barrel room and they doweddings there and it's a
smaller venue. But they have allthese barrels like up to the
high ceiling. And they do eventsthere. My son is a musician and
he's done many events there.
It's just an awesome venue. Andso I thought I'm gonna go big
(09:35):
and I'm going to rent thisvenue. And so I'm going to rent
the space. I'm going to book itI'm I think I can get about 100
people there. And I am going todo like a cocktail appetizer pay
for appetizers. Let people buytheir own cocktails for an hour.
give people time to come becausethere'll be getting off work
those those women that work andthen for an hour I'm going to do
(09:58):
Whew, speech and just talk aboutI haven't even nailed down what
I'm gonna talk about before, butthe gist of it is going to be
wellness and getting in shapeand losing weight. If you want
to lose weight, how to take yourlife in any way to the next
level, how to really be aware,become aware of the stories in
your head and how the storiesare affecting your life. And
(10:19):
just have it be one, I reallywant women to walk away and say,
That was amazing. Like that islike that was amazing. I'm so
glad I went. So I'm so you canprobably hear my voice. I'm so
excited about this. And mybiggest concern then and so let
me give you the details into mymind of where my mind comes up
with problems. Because here'swhat I want to tell you. When
(10:41):
you start thinking bigger foryour life, I want you to ask
yourself this question. If Icould have anything, what would
I want? So when I asked myselfthat question, if I could have
anything, what would I want? AndI like to think three to five
years out, if I could haveanything, what would I want. And
I thought you know, in three tofive years, I'm probably going
to be still coaching a littlebit one on one. But I'm probably
(11:04):
going to create like a groupprogram. And so I'm going to be
I am imagining that I have aboutlike 100 to 200 Women in this
program. And we meet withdifferent calls, we can talk
about weight loss, we can talkabout the way you talk to
yourself, we can talk aboutrelationships, we can talk about
goal setting, we can talk aboutall the different things time
management, I have so manyskills as a life coach that I
(11:26):
can help people with. But it canreally be under this umbrella of
wellness and living in a bodythat you love. And so I think
how am I going to get two tothree to 1000? Women? I have no
idea how am I going to get thesewomen. And I thought one of the
ways I can I can attract thesewomen is by doing speeches is by
doing you know, going to eventsand talking to people and then
(11:49):
saying, Hey, if you're lovingthis, join my program. And for
now if people find me at youknow, they can join my one on
one program. I love working oneon one with women. But when I
think about three to five yearsout, and I think about myself,
like if I could have anything Iwant, I would want to get paid
to speak and then on the backend have women be like, she's
amazing. I want to be in herprogram. That's what I want. So
(12:11):
then you can ask yourself, Okay,if I imagined myself there
living that life, if I can, youknow, if I can create whatever I
want, what would I be doing nowto create that? And I like to
think of like, How can I hyperlaunch myself there? What would
I do now? And this is what I didwhen I asked that woman if I
(12:32):
could if she wanted to hire me,I thought what can I do to make
that in six months a no brainer.
In six months, I thought tomyself, I bet if I in six
months, say I do live webinarsthat I have that skill. So this
is something else I can helpwith, with all the coaches that
you want me to coach. That'samazing, right? So that's what I
(12:52):
did to kind of hyper launchmyself. So right now if if I
want to get to this place whereI'm speaking and I'm a paid
speaker, I go, I'm imaginingthat like eye contact, I'm
thinking like I used to work forHewlett Packard and Roseville. I
don't know anyone there at thispoint. But I know I can like
contact youlet Packard say Iused to work there. Love the
company. I'm now a speaker,here's my I think they call it
(13:16):
like a speaker reel, I don'teven know. But here's a video of
me. And here's like a two minutevideo if you want to see what
I'm all about, here it is. Andthen because I'm going to do
this event, and I'm going tohave a videographer video it and
slice it and dice it do otherthings. I'm going to have this
beautiful video to be able tosend to people to say, Hey,
bring me into your company, letme help your employees take
ownership of their wellness, andthey'll be happier, at work
(13:39):
happier at home, be able tomanage yourself better, and
they're going to be able to workbetter and it is going to affect
your bottom line. So what wouldI be doing now to get there. And
that's where this idea camefrom. That's where this idea of
possibly instead of just rentinga space and having people it's
(13:59):
like let's do this and make itbig time. It's almost kind of
like if I'm gonna go through theeffort of asking people to come
support me and listen to aspeech that hopefully they will
love. I might as well make itamazing. So that's what we're
doing here. And so I wanted toshare my story and hope that you
think that too. Okay, what do Iwant? If I could have anything I
want? What would I want? Andthen if I really believed that
(14:22):
that was possible, what can I doto hyper launch myself there, do
that now and be willing to bescared because you will be
because here's what I think too.
If you're not scared or insecureor have a little doubt, I want
to challenge that you'repossibly not thinking big enough
for your life. Life is not easyif you are doing big things.
(14:48):
I'm taking a moment to tell youthat I work privately one on one
with women to help them loseweight permanently and create a
body they love. This is not adiet program. This is a
customized pro gram to teach youhow to eat the way you want to
eat forever. No morerestriction, no more willpower,
no more losing weight only tosabotage and then gain it back
(15:09):
again. The problem is not you,we women are so hard on
ourselves when we think if wecould just get motivated or more
determined, if we could find theright diet plan or cut out
certain foods, we will loseweight and be happy. But the
answer is changing your brainand how you think and feel,
changing your self image and howyou talk to yourself, learning
(15:31):
how to trust yourself, this ishow you lose weight permanently.
It sounds too good to be true.
But I promise you it's not. Thework I do with my clients is
powerful, exciting, and loving.
And it's hard work to but theresult is change forever. The
women I work with are smart andsuccessful in so many areas of
their life, they just haven'tbeen able to figure out their
(15:53):
body. This is where I come in,head to my website to schedule a
consultation. And we can talkabout all the details back to
the podcast.
So back to what other detailscan I give you about this event.
So another thing I did was Ithought, Okay, I'm gonna do
this, I'm gonna do it inFebruary, because that's just a
good time for me and my family.
I decided to actually go out toalmendra, I just booked an
(16:15):
appointment with their eventscoordinator there. And even
though I've been to elmandermany times, I wanted to envision
it happening, I wanted to getexcited. It's also I think, part
of a manifestation process. So Iwent out there to meet with
their lovely event eventscoordinator. And I told her my
idea, and I told her like what Iwanted to do and how I wanted it
(16:35):
to be. And she gave me a bunchof ideas. And I bounced ideas
off of her. And then she toldme, This was so fun. She says,
Okay, do you want to doappetizers I'm like, I don't
know. And I'm gonna give a totalside note here, I'm not going to
make money off of this, and thisthing is going to cost is going
to be an investment in mybusiness. So I'm not charging
for tickets. There's no reasonto charge anyone for this. It's
(16:58):
almost like a gift I'm doing andI'm really going to get an
amazing video out of it. I amaware of how much this is going
to cost me. And so she said, didyou want to do appetizers? And I
said, Do I pay for theappetizers? She goes? Well,
here's my thought, yes. Shesaid, here's my thought. And she
was we have this beautifultable, they have one of these
beautiful wood tables, wherelike there's a raw edge to it.
It's really cool. She was mythought is we could do like
(17:20):
butcher paper down the middleand like a huge charcuterie
board. And I just went Yes,please. Yes, please. I said, How
much will that cost me she goes$300. I said done. I said that
sounds amazing. And then therecan be a no host bar. And that's
when we decided to do like acocktail hour because a lot of
people get off of work rightaround five. And this is a it
(17:41):
probably takes about 15 minutesto get there. For everyone who's
living in my little town. It'sactually in the next town over.
So I thought perfect that'llgive people time to get here.
And and then she says and wecould actually set up little
round Hi tables toward the backof the room. If people come in
late. I go Yeah, I want this tobe. I want it to be really fun.
But I also want there to be alittle bit of casualness to it.
(18:05):
And I said like I want to set upchairs, but I, I want it to be
if more people come because Ihave no idea how many people
will come. If more people comeit's not a problem. I'll have my
my boys there and they can justset more chairs up. It's totally
not a problem. Even while I'mspeaking they could do this toy,
no problem. And so then I wastotally excited. And I thought
how am I going to get peoplehere? Because it is important
(18:27):
that if I'm going to spend moneyon this place, if I'm going to
hire a photographer and avideographer, how am I going to
fill this room because I want itto be amazing. And so I thought
this is a total side note, I amfor those of you who know me,
you know all this, but there'sgonna be some people maybe that
don't know me. So I have beenfor years a glass jewelry
(18:47):
artist. So that was my firstbusiness that I'm still running.
But one of the most popularpairs of earrings that I have
created that sold really welland made me a lot of money in
that business. Were these littlestud earrings. They're called
the Maria studs named after oneof my best friends. And I sold
them for years and years. Andthey were my number one selling
(19:11):
anything of all time. But theywere really, really hard on my
body. And when I had twoassistants really hard on my
assistants body, so it just gotto the point where it just
wasn't working anymore. And Idecided to give those up. And so
I don't make those anymore. Andlet me tell you, this is
literally when people would comeup to me and say, hey, I want to
(19:31):
get another pair of Maria studs.
And I would say oh you knowwhat? Those are really hard on
my body and I'm no longer makingthem literally probably 50% of
the time it was what can youmake me one more pair? Usually
that like that's how popularthis pair of earrings. There are
some people that have beensupporting my business for five
(19:52):
years. That prop might not buyanything else from me because
they just love my Maria Stutz.
That's how popular these cutelittle stuff That's where. So I
had an idea. And again, a littlebit terrified for physical and
mental reasons, I thought tomyself, what would be a no
brainer to fill this room,because here's my goals, I want
(20:13):
to get an amazing video, I wantit to be an amazing, inspiring
night for everyone who comes.
And I want it just to be anoverdeliver. And a thank you to
like the community that haslike, supported my business for
so many years allowed me tolike, go to my own next level
(20:34):
time after time after time bysupporting my jewelry business
and now supporting my coachingbusiness. So I thought I am
going to tell people, the first100 people in the door, get a
pair of Maria studs, whichagain, I'm not making any more.
So that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to, I want to be ableto message anyone and everyone
that I know loves me and sayKristen, I'm thinking of a one
(20:56):
of my friends Kristen, who Iknow loves my studs, her and her
daughter loves my sets Kristen,and sending her like a digital
flyer for the thing. For theevent. Kristen, I'm having this
event, it's going to be amazing.
I really would love for you tocome. I would love for you to
bring anyone in everyone who youthink would love to come? I'm
(21:18):
offering a free um, you're gonnaget a free pair of Maria studs
for the first 100 people in thedoor. And I think she's going to
be like, it's a yes, please. SoI'm, I feel like it's going to
be absolutely amazing. It'sgoing to be a little scary
making that many of theseearrings. And then I was
thinking, Well, how am I? Whatkind of colors do I make? What?
(21:40):
And I was getting all up in myhead about that. And then I
decided I'm going to do a customcolor that nobody has. So then
it can be because I was like, Idon't want people like well, I
have this color. And can Iexchange it and I don't want
drama. So I'm going to make acustom color, make 100 pairs,
and it's going to be amazing.
And then I thought So thenhere's one thing I want to share
with you, when you start doingthis work problems are going to
(22:02):
come up, be on the lookout thatwhen problems come up. Sometimes
they can stop you. And you getlike, oh yeah, that's not going
to work, oh man, and then youend up not doing anything. So
when the problems come up, solvefor them. So I thought to
myself, oh my god would if weget more than 100 people. And I
thought done, I will just getthose people's phone numbers. I
(22:25):
will put their names on thelist, I will make them tell them
it might take me a month. But Iwill make you a pair of earrings
and I'll shoot your text whenthey're ready. Done. Problem
solved. And then I came up withlike, that's where I came up
with the problem of what if weget more if we only put up 50
chairs, and then we get 80people done? I'll have my
children there, they will getmore chairs. And then I thought
(22:45):
oh, what if I? You know, I don'tknow what came up with all
these? Oh, do what what if mymicrophone doesn't work that I'm
going to hire a professionalvideographer done? So as you
start thinking, What can I do tohyper launch myself there? Know
that a bunch of complicationpotential complications,
potential problems are going tocome up? But of course they
(23:07):
will. Because you're doingthings you've never done before.
Expect it and expect just tosolve for them and expect to
talk to some of the people inyour life and say how do I solve
for this? One of the things Isaid to my husband, I go, I'm
worried that I'm opening myselfup a can of worms by making the
Maria studs, I'm worried thatpeople are going to say, oh, you
(23:28):
know what? I actually lost one,can you make me another and then
I'm gonna feel obligated? Myhusband goes, you just have to
be strong and be like, No, I'mnot, I'm actually not doing
that. I'm like, You're right, Ijust have to allow it to be
uncomfortable and be strong. Andthat's when he said, Well,
instead of doing a bunch ofcolors, because at first I was
imagining this like round tablewith all these different colors
(23:49):
and letting people choose. Butif you know if you know me, and
if you've been to one of myparties, or one of my farmers
markets when there's 10 peoplearound the table, that sounds
very chaotic and stressful. AndI'm just imagining people
grabbing them and saying myfriends coming. I'm gonna grab
these for her and this onesaying I want that. Oh my god.
(24:10):
So I thought so my husband said,just make one color and make 100
pairs. And I'm like, Oh my God.
Yes. So it's knowing that thoseobjections, those problems are
going to come up and you quicklysolve for them. And most of the
time, there's no right or wrongto any of this. So I had a one
day where I was like, Should Ido this on Saturday or No, I was
(24:32):
thinking Sunday afternoon orshould I do it Thursday night,
and I allowed myself one day totalk to all my BFFs to talk to
my husband. What do you thinkSaturday Sunday morning or
Thursday night and I There arepros and cons to both. I have a
guy that I know that would beamazing that could video it and
it would give him great exposurehe it might be a little cheaper
(24:53):
than someone else I'm thinkingof going with and so I could do
that if I did a Sunday morning,but then when it really came
down to it if You know what Ithink Thursday night sounds more
fun. And so that to me more fun,it Trump's saving money, I gave
myself a day to make thatdecision. So I'm gonna give you
another example of creating abigger life when you're scared.
(25:16):
A few years ago, before I reallystarted making more money as a
life coach, when I just kind ofwas dabbling in the life coach
coaching career, I was doing myjewelry business full time. And
I thought when I did this work,and I thought, if I could have
anything, what would I want, Ireally thought, I want to travel
more. And it's not that I don'twant to work. It's not that I
(25:38):
want to be retired, I just wantto be traveling more, could I
find something to do where Icould still make money and
travel. And with my jewelrybusiness, it's it wasn't
accommodating travel, you know,in order to do my jewelry
business, I had to be here athome. I thought to myself, if I
could have anything I want,maybe I need to build this
(26:02):
coaching business. Because ifI'm build this coaching
business, I really can coachfrom anywhere. And so that took
me down that path. And thenagain, I asked myself, How can I
hyper launched myself fair? Howcan I do this right? And so then
what I said to myself is, Ithink I need to just start
scheduling travel in order tofigure out because I was
nervous, like, I don't want mycoaching clients to feel at all
(26:24):
disrupted by my travel. How doesthat work? So I needed to be
willing to be uncomfortable, andbe uncomfortable with the fact
that I might pop up and I mightbe in a different place. And my
people might be like, Oh, whereare you now? And is that
uncomfortable for me? Would thatbe uncomfortable for them? I
think of like, we're going toSanta Barbara again this next
(26:46):
week. And in order for me tocoach my clients, my husband is
going to have to be out of thebedroom by 6am. That makes me
uncomfortable. I don't likebothering him. And so can I
allow the discomfort and havethe conversation with him. And
here's the thing, when I said tohim, Hey, I feel bad telling you
(27:07):
this, but we rented a small VRBOthe best place for me to be
coaching is in the bedroom. Butyou're gonna have to be out of
the bedroom by like 545 in themorning. And he's like, Hey,
you're fine. And that's thething. It's like, I'm so worried
about him being annoyed, he'snever annoyed, never want to
come to him with this is howwe're going to have to
accommodate me making a lot ofmoney. He's never annoyed. And
(27:29):
he's going to be going surfingthat early anyways. But I had to
allow that it wasn't fear, butit was discomfort with annoying
other people, I'm going to haveto allow the fact that my kids
are going to be the next room.
And they likely are going tohear me coaching early in the
morning. And then I thoughtwell, there's another good
reason for them to go surfingwith their dad, if they were
(27:50):
thinking I'd rather sleep in, Ican say heads up, you won't be
sleeping in because your mom'sgonna be on coaching calls in
the bedroom. All these thingscome up. When you start thinking
about creating the life youwant, you need to expect that
you're going to have fear,you're going to have discomfort,
you're going to have anxiety,you're going to have insecurity.
This is the path to getting whatyou want. And what I'm going to
(28:11):
be doing in the next month isgetting really good at working
away from home. What I had to doin order to hyper launch myself
to there is book the travel andin and trust myself to figure it
out, trust myself to say to mysister when I go down to visit
her, Hey, listen, I am going tobe up very early on Friday
(28:34):
mornings one of my clients, Icoach at 5am on Friday mornings,
I'm gonna have to say to her,Hey, listen, first of all, I
can't be out too late Thursdaynight. And then Friday morning,
you might hear me coaching at5am in the living room. I
apologize. And I know again,like every other person in my
life, they're gonna be like,it's totally fine. The
discomfort is with me, because Ihave this I feel bad that I'm
(28:58):
making other people accommodatemy life. But I can allow that
knowing that they love me andthey support me. So I hope this
was a fun little coffee chat foryou. I hope it inspired you to
go to your next level in anyway. Maybe that looks like for
you if you're wanting to starteating better. I know there's a
(29:19):
lot of women that they cook fortheir family, and they feel like
oh, my family is not going towant to eat the food that I want
to eat. So now I have to maketwo separate meals and I don't
want to put anyone out or oh Iwant to go out with my
girlfriends but I don't want tomake them feel uncomfortable
that I'm eating healthy. That'sa big thing I hear from some of
my clients. If I eat healthy, Imight make other people feel
insecure about what they'reeating. Can you allow that
(29:41):
discomfort knowing that if thewomen you're going out with love
you, if they're going to befine, they're going to be fine
and maybe you're going toinspire them. So when you are
going to your next level whenyou're creating a bigger life.
You are going to Be scared oruncomfortable or have doubt it
(30:01):
is the way I heard my coach onetime said, she said something to
the effect of if you're notuncomfortable, your goals are
not high enough. And I believethat I believe that. So get
uncomfortable. Create a biggerlife for yourself and being
willing to hyper launch yourselfthere by getting uncomfortable
(30:24):
and doing it scared. Have agreat Tuesday.
If you are ready to lose weightand keep it off permanently, if
you have tried diets and youknow they don't work and you're
ready for real change, I wouldlove to have a conversation with
you. I coach women privately oneon one, and I'm currently
(30:45):
offering consultations to talkabout working together. click my
link in the show notes or headto Courtney Gray coaching.com Or
you can find me on Instagram atCourtney Gray coaching
Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women
who are ready to lose weightpermanently, and love their body
love the way they feel. Andlook, I'm going to teach you how
to stop overeating and obsessingabout food and your weight. So
you can be more confident andempowered to then create an even
bigger life. I'm life and bodycoach Courtney Gray. And each
(00:25):
week, I'm going to be teachingyou how losing and maintaining
your ideal weight can be so mucheasier than it's been in the
past, in my taking care of you,and achieving your health goals,
you will live in even moreamazing life than the one you
have lived so far. Let's getstarted.
Welcome to the Podcast, episode83, creating a bigger life even
(00:49):
when you're scared. So today I'mgoing to do things a little bit
differently. I'm going topretend that you and I are
having a little coffee chat ormaybe we are having a little
cocktail chat. We are sittingaround. And you said Courtney,
like what are you up to likewhat's going on in your life? I
know you're helping women loseweight permanently. I know
you're loving coaching all yourclients, but like what else is
(01:11):
going on with you? And I wouldsay, Well, let me tell you all
the things. Why I'm laughing. SoI thought I would just share
with you. And hopefully it willinspire you to create an even
bigger life for yourself.
Because I really feel like formany people, the things they
desire in their heart, whetherit's getting in your best shape,
(01:33):
whether it's losing weight,whether it's starting a
business, whether it's leaving amarriage, whether it's you know,
moving careers, moving states,whatever it is that you want for
your life, I know that there's alot of people not taking steps
to doing those things becausethey're scared or they're
confused. And I'm sayingconfused with quotation marks. I
(01:55):
just posted a reel on Instagramtoday, this morning, where I
talked about a lot of times whenwe say we are confused when we
say we don't really know whatthat really is, at a deeper
level is we do know, but we'rejust scared. And we don't we
don't want to be scared. Wedon't it doesn't feel good to be
scared. So I wanted to do thispodcast and I wanted to talk
(02:17):
about creating a bigger lifeeven when you're scared because
I have to believe that there areso many of you that are possibly
wanting more for yourself. Butyou're get letting fear get in
the way and you don't even knowit. Let me just talk to you like
we're we're we're sippingcocktails or coffees. So right
now what's going on for me in mybusiness is I at the beginning
(02:39):
of this year went to thisamazing two day event on the
east coast where I learned howto be a better public speaker.
I've done a little bit of publicspeaking, I've dabbled more like
small groups and webinars. And Ithink I'm naturally quite good.
But of course, I have a lot tolearn. One of my BFFs is a big
time keynote speaker and she'svery good at her craft. And so I
(03:01):
was talking to her and I wastelling her I said, you know, I
someone reached out and theysaid, Hey, we are interested in
having you speak in 2024. We'relooking for speakers. Can you
send us some information? And Isaid to her, and I said to the
guy who messaged me, and I'mlike, Yes, of course I could
send you information. And then Itold my friend, I'm like, I
really don't know what to sendthem because I have I don't have
(03:21):
a video of me speaking. I mean,I do have obviously I show up on
social media and in this podcastand and I am very confident in
my messaging. And I think I'minspirational on all the things.
But I don't have a beautifulspeech recorded that I can send
them a video of me doing it. Andshe goes, Well, obviously you
(03:44):
need to rent a conference room,get a group of people do a
speech, record it and send it tothem. And I literally when she
said that felt like I was gonnathrow up. And I almost and I
think I even said God damn, Ithink I was like, How dare you
sir? How dare you. So here'swhat I know. Especially in the
last five years, here's what Iknow. When something comes into
(04:06):
my scope of knowledge whensomeone offers me an idea or I
see something in my brainpresents me an idea. And I have
that visceral This is horriblefeeling like to my nervous
system. I now know I've beendoing this long enough that I
now know that I have to do it.
(04:28):
Because that fear or anxiety orwhatever it is that I am feeling
in my stomach. I literally feellike a shot of it in my body.
That now I know is where thegrowth is. It's where the money
is. It's where the change fromnot only myself but change for
other people. It is where all ofmy desire lies. And I know
(04:53):
because I've been doing this fora while that this is the point
to my life. And I'm gonna giveyou the perfect example is I I
wanted to get a job with a bigtime coach in the coaching
industry. I messaged her abouttwo years ago and said, Hey, I
think I'd be a huge asset toyou, if you're looking for
coaches, I would love to beconsidered, she messages me back
and says, I'd love to consideryou in six months, I'm actually
(05:15):
going to be hiring coaches. Somake sure you're on my email
list. You'll hear about it.
Great. So I was thinking tomyself, How do I make it a no
brainer? I think I'm amazingnow. But how do I make it a no
brainer that in six months, I ama hell yes, we have to hire her.
And I had, I was asking myselfthis question. And I had one of
these visceral body momentswhere I thought I should start
(05:39):
doing webinars and I literally awhole like, like throwing up.
And it when i That feeling waslike, Oh my God. And it was. And
I think there's one of thereasons why I have this Oh, my
God is because I know it's done.
Because again, I know that mygrowth and what I want for my
life, if I do the thing that I'mscared to do, it's going to get
(06:02):
me where I want to go. So Istarted doing webinars. And I
remember my first webinar, Ithink I had like 75 people
signed up, which is if you don'tif you if you're not in the
world of webinars and everythingpretty damn good. And so I was
really excited about it. But Iwas more terrified about it. And
I remember standing there likeabout two minutes when I was
getting ready to hit Go Live.
And I actually said out loud,what am I doing, and I couldn't
(06:23):
cry, I wanted to cry. But Icouldn't cry, because then I'd
read my makeup. And in twominutes, I was going to go live
on this instrument on this zoomwebinar. And I was preparing
myself because I've heard manypeople say when they do
webinars, that sometimes there'sonly like one person in the
room, you know, waiting, butlike no one shows up. And so I
told my husband, you have to bethere like you have to be there
(06:45):
because I need someone to makesure my mic is working and
everything and what if no oneshows up, you have to be there.
And so when I hit think I hadmentally prepared myself, to
start and to have like oneperson, maybe just my husband
there. And so when I hit startthere were like about I think 35
(07:05):
to 40 people there. And so Iwent from being horrified like I
might not have anyone here, thento Oh my God, there's so many
people here and they're allwatching and they're all waiting
for me. And so my body was likewhat is happening. But needless
to say it was a huge success.
And I've gone on to do manywebinars. And now because I've
(07:25):
been doing them over and overand over again, I still
definitely get a little nervous.
But I am so much calmer. Mybody, my capacity for being
nervous with webinars has justgrown so much. And now the new
thing for me is so my friendsaid to me, you are going to
have you are going to want torent a space, get a group and do
a video and I thought How dareyou sir, say that to me, because
(07:48):
now I have to do it. And so Ithought to myself, I am going to
do this, it's I have to becauseI know myself I have to because
I had that horrible feeling. ButI thought you know, I instead of
just getting a conference roomand asking 20 friends to be
there, I think I'm gonna go big,like, I might as well go big or
go home. So I want to share withyou what I'm doing. And I want
(08:09):
it to hopefully inspire you inany small way to think big and
to go all in on yourself,whatever it is you want for
yourself. So I've decided in mybeautiful little town of Chico,
California that next February, Iam going to do a big time ladies
night it's going to be I believenow all these details are kind
of up in the air because Ihaven't I haven't locked down
(08:30):
the date yet. I haven't lockeddown the name of this. So this
is you and I are literallycoffee chatting all this out. So
it's going to be in February.
And I am going to do a like aladies wellness night. It's
going to be free, of course. AndI really thought I want I don't
want to do a video just of mestanding like at a conference
(08:51):
room. If I'm going to do this, Iwant it to be amazing. And if
I'm going to do this, I actuallywant it to serve all of my
girlfriends in this town. Like Iwant it to be amazing. And so
there is a beautiful, beautifulwinery that a friend of mine
owns here in town calledalmendra. And it is it's just
one of the prettiest wineriesI've ever been to. And they have
this huge room you walk in, andthere's the restaurant area
(09:14):
where you can order food andthere's a beautiful long bar.
But then if you go in Beyondthat there's this room they call
the barrel room and they doweddings there and it's a
smaller venue. But they have allthese barrels like up to the
high ceiling. And they do eventsthere. My son is a musician and
he's done many events there.
It's just an awesome venue. Andso I thought I'm gonna go big
(09:35):
and I'm going to rent thisvenue. And so I'm going to rent
the space. I'm going to book itI'm I think I can get about 100
people there. And I am going todo like a cocktail appetizer pay
for appetizers. Let people buytheir own cocktails for an hour.
give people time to come becausethere'll be getting off work
those those women that work andthen for an hour I'm going to do
(09:58):
Whew, speech and just talk aboutI haven't even nailed down what
I'm gonna talk about before, butthe gist of it is going to be
wellness and getting in shapeand losing weight. If you want
to lose weight, how to take yourlife in any way to the next
level, how to really be aware,become aware of the stories in
your head and how the storiesare affecting your life. And
(10:19):
just have it be one, I reallywant women to walk away and say,
That was amazing. Like that islike that was amazing. I'm so
glad I went. So I'm so you canprobably hear my voice. I'm so
excited about this. And mybiggest concern then and so let
me give you the details into mymind of where my mind comes up
with problems. Because here'swhat I want to tell you. When
(10:41):
you start thinking bigger foryour life, I want you to ask
yourself this question. If Icould have anything, what would
I want? So when I asked myselfthat question, if I could have
anything, what would I want? AndI like to think three to five
years out, if I could haveanything, what would I want. And
I thought you know, in three tofive years, I'm probably going
to be still coaching a littlebit one on one. But I'm probably
(11:04):
going to create like a groupprogram. And so I'm going to be
I am imagining that I have aboutlike 100 to 200 Women in this
program. And we meet withdifferent calls, we can talk
about weight loss, we can talkabout the way you talk to
yourself, we can talk aboutrelationships, we can talk about
goal setting, we can talk aboutall the different things time
management, I have so manyskills as a life coach that I
(11:26):
can help people with. But it canreally be under this umbrella of
wellness and living in a bodythat you love. And so I think
how am I going to get two tothree to 1000? Women? I have no
idea how am I going to get thesewomen. And I thought one of the
ways I can I can attract thesewomen is by doing speeches is by
doing you know, going to eventsand talking to people and then
(11:49):
saying, Hey, if you're lovingthis, join my program. And for
now if people find me at youknow, they can join my one on
one program. I love working oneon one with women. But when I
think about three to five yearsout, and I think about myself,
like if I could have anything Iwant, I would want to get paid
to speak and then on the backend have women be like, she's
amazing. I want to be in herprogram. That's what I want. So
(12:11):
then you can ask yourself, Okay,if I imagined myself there
living that life, if I can, youknow, if I can create whatever I
want, what would I be doing nowto create that? And I like to
think of like, How can I hyperlaunch myself there? What would
I do now? And this is what I didwhen I asked that woman if I
(12:32):
could if she wanted to hire me,I thought what can I do to make
that in six months a no brainer.
In six months, I thought tomyself, I bet if I in six
months, say I do live webinarsthat I have that skill. So this
is something else I can helpwith, with all the coaches that
you want me to coach. That'samazing, right? So that's what I
(12:52):
did to kind of hyper launchmyself. So right now if if I
want to get to this place whereI'm speaking and I'm a paid
speaker, I go, I'm imaginingthat like eye contact, I'm
thinking like I used to work forHewlett Packard and Roseville. I
don't know anyone there at thispoint. But I know I can like
contact youlet Packard say Iused to work there. Love the
company. I'm now a speaker,here's my I think they call it
(13:16):
like a speaker reel, I don'teven know. But here's a video of
me. And here's like a two minutevideo if you want to see what
I'm all about, here it is. Andthen because I'm going to do
this event, and I'm going tohave a videographer video it and
slice it and dice it do otherthings. I'm going to have this
beautiful video to be able tosend to people to say, Hey,
bring me into your company, letme help your employees take
ownership of their wellness, andthey'll be happier, at work
(13:39):
happier at home, be able tomanage yourself better, and
they're going to be able to workbetter and it is going to affect
your bottom line. So what wouldI be doing now to get there. And
that's where this idea camefrom. That's where this idea of
possibly instead of just rentinga space and having people it's
(13:59):
like let's do this and make itbig time. It's almost kind of
like if I'm gonna go through theeffort of asking people to come
support me and listen to aspeech that hopefully they will
love. I might as well make itamazing. So that's what we're
doing here. And so I wanted toshare my story and hope that you
think that too. Okay, what do Iwant? If I could have anything I
want? What would I want? Andthen if I really believed that
(14:22):
that was possible, what can I doto hyper launch myself there, do
that now and be willing to bescared because you will be
because here's what I think too.
If you're not scared or insecureor have a little doubt, I want
to challenge that you'repossibly not thinking big enough
for your life. Life is not easyif you are doing big things.
(14:48):
I'm taking a moment to tell youthat I work privately one on one
with women to help them loseweight permanently and create a
body they love. This is not adiet program. This is a
customized pro gram to teach youhow to eat the way you want to
eat forever. No morerestriction, no more willpower,
no more losing weight only tosabotage and then gain it back
(15:09):
again. The problem is not you,we women are so hard on
ourselves when we think if wecould just get motivated or more
determined, if we could find theright diet plan or cut out
certain foods, we will loseweight and be happy. But the
answer is changing your brainand how you think and feel,
changing your self image and howyou talk to yourself, learning
(15:31):
how to trust yourself, this ishow you lose weight permanently.
It sounds too good to be true.
But I promise you it's not. Thework I do with my clients is
powerful, exciting, and loving.
And it's hard work to but theresult is change forever. The
women I work with are smart andsuccessful in so many areas of
their life, they just haven'tbeen able to figure out their
(15:53):
body. This is where I come in,head to my website to schedule a
consultation. And we can talkabout all the details back to
the podcast.
So back to what other detailscan I give you about this event.
So another thing I did was Ithought, Okay, I'm gonna do
this, I'm gonna do it inFebruary, because that's just a
good time for me and my family.
I decided to actually go out toalmendra, I just booked an
(16:15):
appointment with their eventscoordinator there. And even
though I've been to elmandermany times, I wanted to envision
it happening, I wanted to getexcited. It's also I think, part
of a manifestation process. So Iwent out there to meet with
their lovely event eventscoordinator. And I told her my
idea, and I told her like what Iwanted to do and how I wanted it
(16:35):
to be. And she gave me a bunchof ideas. And I bounced ideas
off of her. And then she toldme, This was so fun. She says,
Okay, do you want to doappetizers I'm like, I don't
know. And I'm gonna give a totalside note here, I'm not going to
make money off of this, and thisthing is going to cost is going
to be an investment in mybusiness. So I'm not charging
for tickets. There's no reasonto charge anyone for this. It's
(16:58):
almost like a gift I'm doing andI'm really going to get an
amazing video out of it. I amaware of how much this is going
to cost me. And so she said, didyou want to do appetizers? And I
said, Do I pay for theappetizers? She goes? Well,
here's my thought, yes. Shesaid, here's my thought. And she
was we have this beautifultable, they have one of these
beautiful wood tables, wherelike there's a raw edge to it.
It's really cool. She was mythought is we could do like
(17:20):
butcher paper down the middleand like a huge charcuterie
board. And I just went Yes,please. Yes, please. I said, How
much will that cost me she goes$300. I said done. I said that
sounds amazing. And then therecan be a no host bar. And that's
when we decided to do like acocktail hour because a lot of
people get off of work rightaround five. And this is a it
(17:41):
probably takes about 15 minutesto get there. For everyone who's
living in my little town. It'sactually in the next town over.
So I thought perfect that'llgive people time to get here.
And and then she says and wecould actually set up little
round Hi tables toward the backof the room. If people come in
late. I go Yeah, I want this tobe. I want it to be really fun.
But I also want there to be alittle bit of casualness to it.
(18:05):
And I said like I want to set upchairs, but I, I want it to be
if more people come because Ihave no idea how many people
will come. If more people comeit's not a problem. I'll have my
my boys there and they can justset more chairs up. It's totally
not a problem. Even while I'mspeaking they could do this toy,
no problem. And so then I wastotally excited. And I thought
how am I going to get peoplehere? Because it is important
(18:27):
that if I'm going to spend moneyon this place, if I'm going to
hire a photographer and avideographer, how am I going to
fill this room because I want itto be amazing. And so I thought
this is a total side note, I amfor those of you who know me,
you know all this, but there'sgonna be some people maybe that
don't know me. So I have beenfor years a glass jewelry
(18:47):
artist. So that was my firstbusiness that I'm still running.
But one of the most popularpairs of earrings that I have
created that sold really welland made me a lot of money in
that business. Were these littlestud earrings. They're called
the Maria studs named after oneof my best friends. And I sold
them for years and years. Andthey were my number one selling
(19:11):
anything of all time. But theywere really, really hard on my
body. And when I had twoassistants really hard on my
assistants body, so it just gotto the point where it just
wasn't working anymore. And Idecided to give those up. And so
I don't make those anymore. Andlet me tell you, this is
literally when people would comeup to me and say, hey, I want to
(19:31):
get another pair of Maria studs.
And I would say oh you knowwhat? Those are really hard on
my body and I'm no longer makingthem literally probably 50% of
the time it was what can youmake me one more pair? Usually
that like that's how popularthis pair of earrings. There are
some people that have beensupporting my business for five
(19:52):
years. That prop might not buyanything else from me because
they just love my Maria Stutz.
That's how popular these cutelittle stuff That's where. So I
had an idea. And again, a littlebit terrified for physical and
mental reasons, I thought tomyself, what would be a no
brainer to fill this room,because here's my goals, I want
(20:13):
to get an amazing video, I wantit to be an amazing, inspiring
night for everyone who comes.
And I want it just to be anoverdeliver. And a thank you to
like the community that haslike, supported my business for
so many years allowed me tolike, go to my own next level
(20:34):
time after time after time bysupporting my jewelry business
and now supporting my coachingbusiness. So I thought I am
going to tell people, the first100 people in the door, get a
pair of Maria studs, whichagain, I'm not making any more.
So that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to, I want to be ableto message anyone and everyone
that I know loves me and sayKristen, I'm thinking of a one
(20:56):
of my friends Kristen, who Iknow loves my studs, her and her
daughter loves my sets Kristen,and sending her like a digital
flyer for the thing. For theevent. Kristen, I'm having this
event, it's going to be amazing.
I really would love for you tocome. I would love for you to
bring anyone in everyone who youthink would love to come? I'm
(21:18):
offering a free um, you're gonnaget a free pair of Maria studs
for the first 100 people in thedoor. And I think she's going to
be like, it's a yes, please. SoI'm, I feel like it's going to
be absolutely amazing. It'sgoing to be a little scary
making that many of theseearrings. And then I was
thinking, Well, how am I? Whatkind of colors do I make? What?
(21:40):
And I was getting all up in myhead about that. And then I
decided I'm going to do a customcolor that nobody has. So then
it can be because I was like, Idon't want people like well, I
have this color. And can Iexchange it and I don't want
drama. So I'm going to make acustom color, make 100 pairs,
and it's going to be amazing.
And then I thought So thenhere's one thing I want to share
with you, when you start doingthis work problems are going to
(22:02):
come up, be on the lookout thatwhen problems come up. Sometimes
they can stop you. And you getlike, oh yeah, that's not going
to work, oh man, and then youend up not doing anything. So
when the problems come up, solvefor them. So I thought to
myself, oh my god would if weget more than 100 people. And I
thought done, I will just getthose people's phone numbers. I
(22:25):
will put their names on thelist, I will make them tell them
it might take me a month. But Iwill make you a pair of earrings
and I'll shoot your text whenthey're ready. Done. Problem
solved. And then I came up withlike, that's where I came up
with the problem of what if weget more if we only put up 50
chairs, and then we get 80people done? I'll have my
children there, they will getmore chairs. And then I thought
(22:45):
oh, what if I? You know, I don'tknow what came up with all
these? Oh, do what what if mymicrophone doesn't work that I'm
going to hire a professionalvideographer done? So as you
start thinking, What can I do tohyper launch myself there? Know
that a bunch of complicationpotential complications,
potential problems are going tocome up? But of course they
(23:07):
will. Because you're doingthings you've never done before.
Expect it and expect just tosolve for them and expect to
talk to some of the people inyour life and say how do I solve
for this? One of the things Isaid to my husband, I go, I'm
worried that I'm opening myselfup a can of worms by making the
Maria studs, I'm worried thatpeople are going to say, oh, you
(23:28):
know what? I actually lost one,can you make me another and then
I'm gonna feel obligated? Myhusband goes, you just have to
be strong and be like, No, I'mnot, I'm actually not doing
that. I'm like, You're right, Ijust have to allow it to be
uncomfortable and be strong. Andthat's when he said, Well,
instead of doing a bunch ofcolors, because at first I was
imagining this like round tablewith all these different colors
(23:49):
and letting people choose. Butif you know if you know me, and
if you've been to one of myparties, or one of my farmers
markets when there's 10 peoplearound the table, that sounds
very chaotic and stressful. AndI'm just imagining people
grabbing them and saying myfriends coming. I'm gonna grab
these for her and this onesaying I want that. Oh my god.
(24:10):
So I thought so my husband said,just make one color and make 100
pairs. And I'm like, Oh my God.
Yes. So it's knowing that thoseobjections, those problems are
going to come up and you quicklysolve for them. And most of the
time, there's no right or wrongto any of this. So I had a one
day where I was like, Should Ido this on Saturday or No, I was
(24:32):
thinking Sunday afternoon orshould I do it Thursday night,
and I allowed myself one day totalk to all my BFFs to talk to
my husband. What do you thinkSaturday Sunday morning or
Thursday night and I There arepros and cons to both. I have a
guy that I know that would beamazing that could video it and
it would give him great exposurehe it might be a little cheaper
(24:53):
than someone else I'm thinkingof going with and so I could do
that if I did a Sunday morning,but then when it really came
down to it if You know what Ithink Thursday night sounds more
fun. And so that to me more fun,it Trump's saving money, I gave
myself a day to make thatdecision. So I'm gonna give you
another example of creating abigger life when you're scared.
(25:16):
A few years ago, before I reallystarted making more money as a
life coach, when I just kind ofwas dabbling in the life coach
coaching career, I was doing myjewelry business full time. And
I thought when I did this work,and I thought, if I could have
anything, what would I want, Ireally thought, I want to travel
more. And it's not that I don'twant to work. It's not that I
(25:38):
want to be retired, I just wantto be traveling more, could I
find something to do where Icould still make money and
travel. And with my jewelrybusiness, it's it wasn't
accommodating travel, you know,in order to do my jewelry
business, I had to be here athome. I thought to myself, if I
could have anything I want,maybe I need to build this
(26:02):
coaching business. Because ifI'm build this coaching
business, I really can coachfrom anywhere. And so that took
me down that path. And thenagain, I asked myself, How can I
hyper launched myself fair? Howcan I do this right? And so then
what I said to myself is, Ithink I need to just start
scheduling travel in order tofigure out because I was
nervous, like, I don't want mycoaching clients to feel at all
(26:24):
disrupted by my travel. How doesthat work? So I needed to be
willing to be uncomfortable, andbe uncomfortable with the fact
that I might pop up and I mightbe in a different place. And my
people might be like, Oh, whereare you now? And is that
uncomfortable for me? Would thatbe uncomfortable for them? I
think of like, we're going toSanta Barbara again this next
(26:46):
week. And in order for me tocoach my clients, my husband is
going to have to be out of thebedroom by 6am. That makes me
uncomfortable. I don't likebothering him. And so can I
allow the discomfort and havethe conversation with him. And
here's the thing, when I said tohim, Hey, I feel bad telling you
(27:07):
this, but we rented a small VRBOthe best place for me to be
coaching is in the bedroom. Butyou're gonna have to be out of
the bedroom by like 545 in themorning. And he's like, Hey,
you're fine. And that's thething. It's like, I'm so worried
about him being annoyed, he'snever annoyed, never want to
come to him with this is howwe're going to have to
accommodate me making a lot ofmoney. He's never annoyed. And
(27:29):
he's going to be going surfingthat early anyways. But I had to
allow that it wasn't fear, butit was discomfort with annoying
other people, I'm going to haveto allow the fact that my kids
are going to be the next room.
And they likely are going tohear me coaching early in the
morning. And then I thoughtwell, there's another good
reason for them to go surfingwith their dad, if they were
(27:50):
thinking I'd rather sleep in, Ican say heads up, you won't be
sleeping in because your mom'sgonna be on coaching calls in
the bedroom. All these thingscome up. When you start thinking
about creating the life youwant, you need to expect that
you're going to have fear,you're going to have discomfort,
you're going to have anxiety,you're going to have insecurity.
This is the path to getting whatyou want. And what I'm going to
(28:11):
be doing in the next month isgetting really good at working
away from home. What I had to doin order to hyper launch myself
to there is book the travel andin and trust myself to figure it
out, trust myself to say to mysister when I go down to visit
her, Hey, listen, I am going tobe up very early on Friday
(28:34):
mornings one of my clients, Icoach at 5am on Friday mornings,
I'm gonna have to say to her,Hey, listen, first of all, I
can't be out too late Thursdaynight. And then Friday morning,
you might hear me coaching at5am in the living room. I
apologize. And I know again,like every other person in my
life, they're gonna be like,it's totally fine. The
discomfort is with me, because Ihave this I feel bad that I'm
(28:58):
making other people accommodatemy life. But I can allow that
knowing that they love me andthey support me. So I hope this
was a fun little coffee chat foryou. I hope it inspired you to
go to your next level in anyway. Maybe that looks like for
you if you're wanting to starteating better. I know there's a
(29:19):
lot of women that they cook fortheir family, and they feel like
oh, my family is not going towant to eat the food that I want
to eat. So now I have to maketwo separate meals and I don't
want to put anyone out or oh Iwant to go out with my
girlfriends but I don't want tomake them feel uncomfortable
that I'm eating healthy. That'sa big thing I hear from some of
my clients. If I eat healthy, Imight make other people feel
insecure about what they'reeating. Can you allow that
(29:41):
discomfort knowing that if thewomen you're going out with love
you, if they're going to befine, they're going to be fine
and maybe you're going toinspire them. So when you are
going to your next level whenyou're creating a bigger life.
You are going to Be scared oruncomfortable or have doubt it
(30:01):
is the way I heard my coach onetime said, she said something to
the effect of if you're notuncomfortable, your goals are
not high enough. And I believethat I believe that. So get
uncomfortable. Create a biggerlife for yourself and being
willing to hyper launch yourselfthere by getting uncomfortable
(30:24):
and doing it scared. Have agreat Tuesday.
If you are ready to lose weightand keep it off permanently, if
you have tried diets and youknow they don't work and you're
ready for real change, I wouldlove to have a conversation with
you. I coach women privately oneon one, and I'm currently
(30:45):
offering consultations to talkabout working together. click my
link in the show notes or headto Courtney Gray coaching.com Or
you can find me on Instagram atCourtney Gray coaching
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