December 17, 2024 • 16 mins
In Episode 22 of The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Cristina shares her reflections from a recent family vacation in Mexico. She discusses learning the importance of moderation with drinking, her struggles with body image and the hesitation to wear a two-piece bathing suit, and the value of embracing and cherishing moments with loved ones. Cristina highlights the significance of self-acceptance, the joy found in genuine experiences, and the need to enjoy life without letting insecurities hold you back.
00:00 Introduction to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
00:38 Vacation Recap: Fun in Mexico
01:28 Lesson 1: Enjoy Without Overdrinking
03:19 Lesson 2: Embrace Your Body
12:19 Lesson 3: Cherish the Moments
14:58 Final Thoughts and Gratitude
Consultation Call: https://calendly.com/cristinacoaches/discovery-session
FREE Curvy Girl Dating Checklist: https://thecurvygirldatingcoach.myflodesk.com/datingchecklist
Website: https://www.thecurvygirldatingcoach.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cristina (00:00):
You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast,
Episode 22 (00:03):
Lessons From Mexico.
Hi, I'm Cristina.
After 10 years of dating, I wastired of attracting the wrong
type of guys and thinking I hadto lose weight to find love.
I finally figured out how todate and I found the love I
thought I would never find eachweek.
I'll teach you dating advice,share dating stories and help
(00:25):
you ditch the dating drama.
My goal is to help you have funand create the life you love.
If you're ready to take yourdating to another level, then
listen up and let's go.
Hello everyone.
How are you today?
I just got back from vacation inMexico.
We did a family vacation at aall-inclusive resort in Playa
(00:51):
Del Carmen and we had so muchfun.
We left on Thanksgiving day.
My sister and her family, myparents and Ryan and I all went
and my aunt and we had a greattime.
So anyhow, I've been absent fortwo weeks, but I am here now and
(01:13):
we're back and ready to go.
I was going to take the Tuesdayafter Thanksgiving off and
continue into the next Tuesday,but I decided I needed a little
more time to take a break.
So now here we are.
I had some lessons while I wasin Mexico that I wanted to
(01:33):
share.
I just think they're reallyimportant for.
Anything in general, it doesn'thave to be next time you go on
vacation, just every day advicethat you can have when you're
doing your thing every day.
First of all, this is a quickone.
If you want to enjoy the most ofyour vacation or the most of
(01:54):
every day in your life.
Don't over-drink.
I used to be able to drink likea fish when I was in my twenties
and early thirties.
But now as a 41 year old woman.
I am a bit out of practice Ibasically did not do anything
for the second day of vacation,which was really our first full
(02:17):
day of vacation because I wastoo busy being sick and I did
not like that.
It was not worth it.
Drinking on the first day andoverdrinking.
Was not worth it.
It did not give me any reward.
Needless to say, I missed out onsome first day of family
(02:39):
activities, which is okay.
I had an emotional supportbucket.
Next to me.
Just in case I needed it and Idid need it quite a bit of
times.
Anyhow, that is less than numberone, have fun on your vacations.
But drinking doesn't alwaysequal fun.
Sometimes it equals beingmiserable.
(03:02):
Yeah.
There are other ways to enjoyvacation time and just your day
to day.
And really embrace the ways thatactually give you happiness
instead of a headache and ahangover.
So that's lesson number one.
Lesson number two is about mybody or your body.
(03:25):
I brought all these close toMexico and I wanted to make sure
I looked good for dinner and Ihad all these cute outfits,
different bathing suits and allthis stuff.
I contemplated bringing a twopiece because I do like to wear
two pieces.
Cause I like to tan my bellywhen I go out.
(03:46):
And, I didn't right, cause I washesitant.
I have really nice lookingbathing suits that are one
pieces.
Like,"it'll be fine." It wasn'tnecessarily I was embarrassed.
But I was, and it's hard toexplain it.
I have always been the personthat is like,"if you don't like
(04:06):
it, don't look at it." I don'tknow why this time was
different.
I don't know if it was cause Iwas with Ryan, which shouldn't
matter because he loves what Ilook like, and wearing a
two-piece bathing suit to thebeach is not something that he
would care about.
One way or the other, he wouldjust be like, okay, you're
(04:28):
wearing a bathing suit.
And it's not about my parents,it's not about my family or my
aunt, or my sister.
So I don't know what the dealwas that's okay.
I'm not going to overthink it.
The point is I had a little bitof hesitation to wear a two
piece this time when I went toMexico.
So whatever reason it may be.
(04:49):
I can figure that out anothertime, but that's not the point
of the story.
Of course not.
Wearing it there's some kind ofinsecurity, right?
Like ultimately.
There was an insecurity that Ihad that was stopping me from
wearing what I wanted to wear.
And in real life, it doesn'thave to be the bathing suit.
(05:11):
It could be the tank top thatshows your arms.
It could be the shorter shortsthat show your legs, like a
short cut shirt.
It could be anything (05:21):
leggings, a tight fitted shirt, so many
different things that peoplehave issues with their body and
clothes.
So this time it happened to be abathing suit and my body that I
wasn't feeling this time.
There was obviously aninsecurity in me and when I got
(05:43):
there.
Everybody's just doing their ownthing.
Everybody's just enjoying theirvacation.
Everyone's wearing what theywant and maybe they're not
wearing what they want, but forall I know they're wearing what
they want.
And it just made me rethinkabout it.
And think, nobody really cares,right?
So, no one cares what I'mwearing or what I'm doing.
(06:07):
Cause they're all minding theirown business and they're on
vacation.
No one gives a shit, and if theydo, who cares, they're not going
up to me and telling me,"Hey,you look fat in your bathing
suit," or"I hate your bathingsuit.
You look ugly." Like, no one'ssaying anything to me.
Why does it matter?
That I wear a bathing suitthat's a two piece or not.
(06:30):
Like ultimately, I just want tohave a nice time and I want to
be with my family and if I wantto get a tan, then I can get a
tan, and I held myself back fromit this time.
I got a great tan, but again, Iprefer my belly to be tanned and
it did not this time.
And that's okay.
I'm just going to enjoy my tanin the winter.
(06:51):
As much as I can and no one'sgoing to really know or see
that.
So it is what it is.
But, it just was interesting tome how I all of a sudden had
this hesitation.
And it is something for me tolook into because I have been
doing a lot of work on like bodyneutrality and accepting the way
(07:16):
I look.
It's a long process and there'sgood days and there's bad days.
I wouldn't exactly say that thetime I chose to not pack it was
this horrible body image day.
But it was there.
Because if it wasn't there, thenI would have brought the two
(07:38):
piece and I didn't.
So there was a thing there forme that made me not have the
best body image that day.
There were people of all sizes.
Everybody was doing their thingand the minding their own
business and having a great timeand doing the excursions and
swimming in the pool and goingto the beach and walking and
(07:59):
enjoying their dinners andhaving some cocktails at the
pool and all the things.
And nobody really gave a shit.
I saw all different kinds ofpeople and lots of women in
two-piece bathing suits ofsmaller sizes and bigger sizes.
My sister is more modest in herbathing suit choices.
(08:22):
And, she had a long sleeve topon many times or one had really
pretty ruffles on the shoulders.
They were really cute.
She wears longer bottoms like toour ankles.
And so she looks great! That'snot the typical looking bathing
suit, but she looks fabulous init.
(08:42):
And again, I wasn't necessarilyworrying about what she was
wearing.
But, I happened to notice, itwas great.
And nobody cares.
She was dressed more modestly.
Other people were not dressed somodestly and it had the cute
little French cut bottoms andthong bottoms and all the
things.
So everybody's choosing alltypes of swimwear and they all
(09:07):
had smiles on their faces.
Everyone was happy.
Just wear it.
Just wear what you want, if yousee it and you think about it.
And you're like,"I know I lookat it in this." Then where it,
don't be afraid of it.
It's just an article of clothingand you get to wear the
clothing.
And you get to create thestatement of what the clothing
(09:31):
looks like on you.
Like the clothing doesn't ownyou, it doesn't own your
feelings.
It doesn't own your thoughts.
So where would you want.
And don't be afraid to, again,this doesn't have to be
swimwear.
It could be (09:44):
tank top.
I know for the longest time Iwas very self-conscious about my
arms.
And in the middle of the summer,I wear like a little cardigan or
a little sweater.
And finally I was like,"fuck it.
It is hot as hell.
And I'm not going to suffer inthis sweater.
In the summer in Houston, Texasin a hundred degree weather, I'm
(10:06):
just not." So I just decidedthat my happiness and the fact
that I'm not sweating andmiserable out in public with my
friends was worth showing myarms.
It didn't matter if I showed myarms because I was comfortable
and I was happy and I actuallyfelt worse in what I was
(10:28):
wearing, when I was wearingsleeves.
And not feeling myself and notbeing comfortable and being even
more uncomfortable because ofthe situation of sweating, that
it wasn't just show my damnarms.
You know what I mean?
So it was something that I wasable to get over very quickly.
Because I f igured out that itwas worth my sanity to just
(10:52):
learn how to not beself-conscious of my arms.
And yeah, wear the damn thing ifit's important to you, and if
it's something that you want towear and you like don't know if
you could pull it off.
And you like bought it and maybeit's a goal outfit and you're
(11:13):
thinking about it and it fitsyou, but you're still not sure
if it's something that you wantto wear yet in front of people
just do it.
Take a deep breath.
Do it because the worst thingthat's going to happen.
Is there going to feel some typeof way, and then you're going to
go home and change.
Like nothing terrible is goingto happen except for a little
(11:36):
feeling of discomfort in yourbody.
And we've been uncomfortablemillions of times in our lives.
So you'll be okay.
It's going to be okay if youfeel a little discomfort.
But, discomfort is the price ofgrowth.
So the more you allow yourselfto be uncomfortable, the more
you have personal growth.
(11:58):
It can be scary to put somethingon that you might not sure you
can pull off, or you might thinkthat people are going to judge
you about.
But people are really just doingtheir own thing.
Nobody's looking at you.
That is my lesson number two.
Just in general.
Have a good time.
Life is too short.
(12:18):
Enjoy yourself.
One other thing that I learnedwhile I was there was to embrace
the moment.
There were times where myparents were just having a blast
with my niece and nephew at thebeach or at the pool, or at the
little splash pad that they had.
(12:39):
And just listening to them, justloving their time with their
grandparents and just crackingup and laughing and my dad doing
whatever my niece wanted andbeing goofy and just really in
love.
Loving our family and beingthere for each other was just so
(13:00):
beautiful.
And I just really enjoyedexperiencing that, like in a
deeper way instead of.
oh, everybody's having fun,"like sitting there and taking a
moment to breathe it all in andbe like,"wow, this is going to
be a memory for everybody for along time.
Like we're so blessed to be atthis hotel and altogether, and
(13:25):
everyone's healthy andeveryone's happy and we get to
spend time with each other andwe get to learn about each other
and make different memories."And be scared about things and
not be scared about things likemy nine year old niece took me
zip lining.
I never ziplined, I was scaredas hell.
And she has zip lined and sheloves it.
(13:47):
So I was like, this is going tobe a memory that we're going to
talk about how Titi was scared."Titi is what my family calls me
as like my niece and nephew callme Titi.
Yeah, like it was a really goodmemory and a really good feeling
to be able to do something thatI was scared of, that my
nine-year-old niece was totallycool with and so excited to do,
(14:09):
right?
So I know that will be a greatstory to share later in the
future, but.
The point is just enjoyyourself.
With everything like, enjoyyourself drinking just don't
over drink because you're goingto feel like crap and then
you're going to miss out on awhole day of vacation.
(14:29):
And enjoy what you're wearing.
Enjoy your life.
Life is too short to bequestioning what clothes you
want to wear.
It like is hot.
If it's hot, where was you want.
Just do it.
And it might be scary, but as apiece of cloth, and you can take
it off and change, but if youwanted to give it a try, give it
(14:51):
a try.
Because everybody's just doingtheir thing and just minding
their own business, I promiseyou.
And, embrace those moments withyour family or with your
friends, or even by yourself,just anytime you have that
moment in your life, where youjust feel a little peace, take
advantage of embracing that andtaking it in and just really
(15:16):
thinking about it deeply.
Don't let that moment pass you.
Take that time to appreciateyour life and find the
gratefulness that you have.
I guess that was veryappropriate for.
Thanksgiving, to have thanks andbe grateful.
Just continue that through theholidays.
If you can, if that is somethingthat you could do during the
(15:39):
holidays embrace every momentthat you have with people that
you love or.
even yourself then.
Take the time to do that.
Remember, great things in yourlife when things aren't feeling
so great.
Sometimes life sucks and life ishard.
and, knowing that you have allthese special moments in your
mind that you can experience andremember sometimes it can be
(16:02):
helpful.
So just take moments in your dayto do that and reflect on the
good times.
Thank you guys so much.
I will talk to you guys nextweek.
I appreciate you for listeningand have a great day.
Thanks.
You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast,
Episode 22 (00:03):
Lessons From Mexico.
Hi, I'm Cristina.
After 10 years of dating, I wastired of attracting the wrong
type of guys and thinking I hadto lose weight to find love.
I finally figured out how todate and I found the love I
thought I would never find eachweek.
I'll teach you dating advice,share dating stories and help
(00:25):
you ditch the dating drama.
My goal is to help you have funand create the life you love.
If you're ready to take yourdating to another level, then
listen up and let's go.
Hello everyone.
How are you today?
I just got back from vacation inMexico.
We did a family vacation at aall-inclusive resort in Playa
(00:51):
Del Carmen and we had so muchfun.
We left on Thanksgiving day.
My sister and her family, myparents and Ryan and I all went
and my aunt and we had a greattime.
So anyhow, I've been absent fortwo weeks, but I am here now and
(01:13):
we're back and ready to go.
I was going to take the Tuesdayafter Thanksgiving off and
continue into the next Tuesday,but I decided I needed a little
more time to take a break.
So now here we are.
I had some lessons while I wasin Mexico that I wanted to
(01:33):
share.
I just think they're reallyimportant for.
Anything in general, it doesn'thave to be next time you go on
vacation, just every day advicethat you can have when you're
doing your thing every day.
First of all, this is a quickone.
If you want to enjoy the most ofyour vacation or the most of
(01:54):
every day in your life.
Don't over-drink.
I used to be able to drink likea fish when I was in my twenties
and early thirties.
But now as a 41 year old woman.
I am a bit out of practice Ibasically did not do anything
for the second day of vacation,which was really our first full
(02:17):
day of vacation because I wastoo busy being sick and I did
not like that.
It was not worth it.
Drinking on the first day andoverdrinking.
Was not worth it.
It did not give me any reward.
Needless to say, I missed out onsome first day of family
(02:39):
activities, which is okay.
I had an emotional supportbucket.
Next to me.
Just in case I needed it and Idid need it quite a bit of
times.
Anyhow, that is less than numberone, have fun on your vacations.
But drinking doesn't alwaysequal fun.
Sometimes it equals beingmiserable.
(03:02):
Yeah.
There are other ways to enjoyvacation time and just your day
to day.
And really embrace the ways thatactually give you happiness
instead of a headache and ahangover.
So that's lesson number one.
Lesson number two is about mybody or your body.
(03:25):
I brought all these close toMexico and I wanted to make sure
I looked good for dinner and Ihad all these cute outfits,
different bathing suits and allthis stuff.
I contemplated bringing a twopiece because I do like to wear
two pieces.
Cause I like to tan my bellywhen I go out.
(03:46):
And, I didn't right, cause I washesitant.
I have really nice lookingbathing suits that are one
pieces.
Like,"it'll be fine." It wasn'tnecessarily I was embarrassed.
But I was, and it's hard toexplain it.
I have always been the personthat is like,"if you don't like
(04:06):
it, don't look at it." I don'tknow why this time was
different.
I don't know if it was cause Iwas with Ryan, which shouldn't
matter because he loves what Ilook like, and wearing a
two-piece bathing suit to thebeach is not something that he
would care about.
One way or the other, he wouldjust be like, okay, you're
(04:28):
wearing a bathing suit.
And it's not about my parents,it's not about my family or my
aunt, or my sister.
So I don't know what the dealwas that's okay.
I'm not going to overthink it.
The point is I had a little bitof hesitation to wear a two
piece this time when I went toMexico.
So whatever reason it may be.
(04:49):
I can figure that out anothertime, but that's not the point
of the story.
Of course not.
Wearing it there's some kind ofinsecurity, right?
Like ultimately.
There was an insecurity that Ihad that was stopping me from
wearing what I wanted to wear.
And in real life, it doesn'thave to be the bathing suit.
(05:11):
It could be the tank top thatshows your arms.
It could be the shorter shortsthat show your legs, like a
short cut shirt.
It could be anything (05:21):
leggings, a tight fitted shirt, so many
different things that peoplehave issues with their body and
clothes.
So this time it happened to be abathing suit and my body that I
wasn't feeling this time.
There was obviously aninsecurity in me and when I got
(05:43):
there.
Everybody's just doing their ownthing.
Everybody's just enjoying theirvacation.
Everyone's wearing what theywant and maybe they're not
wearing what they want, but forall I know they're wearing what
they want.
And it just made me rethinkabout it.
And think, nobody really cares,right?
So, no one cares what I'mwearing or what I'm doing.
(06:07):
Cause they're all minding theirown business and they're on
vacation.
No one gives a shit, and if theydo, who cares, they're not going
up to me and telling me,"Hey,you look fat in your bathing
suit," or"I hate your bathingsuit.
You look ugly." Like, no one'ssaying anything to me.
Why does it matter?
That I wear a bathing suitthat's a two piece or not.
(06:30):
Like ultimately, I just want tohave a nice time and I want to
be with my family and if I wantto get a tan, then I can get a
tan, and I held myself back fromit this time.
I got a great tan, but again, Iprefer my belly to be tanned and
it did not this time.
And that's okay.
I'm just going to enjoy my tanin the winter.
(06:51):
As much as I can and no one'sgoing to really know or see
that.
So it is what it is.
But, it just was interesting tome how I all of a sudden had
this hesitation.
And it is something for me tolook into because I have been
doing a lot of work on like bodyneutrality and accepting the way
(07:16):
I look.
It's a long process and there'sgood days and there's bad days.
I wouldn't exactly say that thetime I chose to not pack it was
this horrible body image day.
But it was there.
Because if it wasn't there, thenI would have brought the two
(07:38):
piece and I didn't.
So there was a thing there forme that made me not have the
best body image that day.
There were people of all sizes.
Everybody was doing their thingand the minding their own
business and having a great timeand doing the excursions and
swimming in the pool and goingto the beach and walking and
(07:59):
enjoying their dinners andhaving some cocktails at the
pool and all the things.
And nobody really gave a shit.
I saw all different kinds ofpeople and lots of women in
two-piece bathing suits ofsmaller sizes and bigger sizes.
My sister is more modest in herbathing suit choices.
(08:22):
And, she had a long sleeve topon many times or one had really
pretty ruffles on the shoulders.
They were really cute.
She wears longer bottoms like toour ankles.
And so she looks great! That'snot the typical looking bathing
suit, but she looks fabulous init.
(08:42):
And again, I wasn't necessarilyworrying about what she was
wearing.
But, I happened to notice, itwas great.
And nobody cares.
She was dressed more modestly.
Other people were not dressed somodestly and it had the cute
little French cut bottoms andthong bottoms and all the
things.
So everybody's choosing alltypes of swimwear and they all
(09:07):
had smiles on their faces.
Everyone was happy.
Just wear it.
Just wear what you want, if yousee it and you think about it.
And you're like,"I know I lookat it in this." Then where it,
don't be afraid of it.
It's just an article of clothingand you get to wear the
clothing.
And you get to create thestatement of what the clothing
(09:31):
looks like on you.
Like the clothing doesn't ownyou, it doesn't own your
feelings.
It doesn't own your thoughts.
So where would you want.
And don't be afraid to, again,this doesn't have to be
swimwear.
It could be (09:44):
tank top.
I know for the longest time Iwas very self-conscious about my
arms.
And in the middle of the summer,I wear like a little cardigan or
a little sweater.
And finally I was like,"fuck it.
It is hot as hell.
And I'm not going to suffer inthis sweater.
In the summer in Houston, Texasin a hundred degree weather, I'm
(10:06):
just not." So I just decidedthat my happiness and the fact
that I'm not sweating andmiserable out in public with my
friends was worth showing myarms.
It didn't matter if I showed myarms because I was comfortable
and I was happy and I actuallyfelt worse in what I was
(10:28):
wearing, when I was wearingsleeves.
And not feeling myself and notbeing comfortable and being even
more uncomfortable because ofthe situation of sweating, that
it wasn't just show my damnarms.
You know what I mean?
So it was something that I wasable to get over very quickly.
Because I f igured out that itwas worth my sanity to just
(10:52):
learn how to not beself-conscious of my arms.
And yeah, wear the damn thing ifit's important to you, and if
it's something that you want towear and you like don't know if
you could pull it off.
And you like bought it and maybeit's a goal outfit and you're
(11:13):
thinking about it and it fitsyou, but you're still not sure
if it's something that you wantto wear yet in front of people
just do it.
Take a deep breath.
Do it because the worst thingthat's going to happen.
Is there going to feel some typeof way, and then you're going to
go home and change.
Like nothing terrible is goingto happen except for a little
(11:36):
feeling of discomfort in yourbody.
And we've been uncomfortablemillions of times in our lives.
So you'll be okay.
It's going to be okay if youfeel a little discomfort.
But, discomfort is the price ofgrowth.
So the more you allow yourselfto be uncomfortable, the more
you have personal growth.
(11:58):
It can be scary to put somethingon that you might not sure you
can pull off, or you might thinkthat people are going to judge
you about.
But people are really just doingtheir own thing.
Nobody's looking at you.
That is my lesson number two.
Just in general.
Have a good time.
Life is too short.
(12:18):
Enjoy yourself.
One other thing that I learnedwhile I was there was to embrace
the moment.
There were times where myparents were just having a blast
with my niece and nephew at thebeach or at the pool, or at the
little splash pad that they had.
(12:39):
And just listening to them, justloving their time with their
grandparents and just crackingup and laughing and my dad doing
whatever my niece wanted andbeing goofy and just really in
love.
Loving our family and beingthere for each other was just so
(13:00):
beautiful.
And I just really enjoyedexperiencing that, like in a
deeper way instead of.
oh, everybody's having fun,"like sitting there and taking a
moment to breathe it all in andbe like,"wow, this is going to
be a memory for everybody for along time.
Like we're so blessed to be atthis hotel and altogether, and
(13:25):
everyone's healthy andeveryone's happy and we get to
spend time with each other andwe get to learn about each other
and make different memories."And be scared about things and
not be scared about things likemy nine year old niece took me
zip lining.
I never ziplined, I was scaredas hell.
And she has zip lined and sheloves it.
(13:47):
So I was like, this is going tobe a memory that we're going to
talk about how Titi was scared."Titi is what my family calls me
as like my niece and nephew callme Titi.
Yeah, like it was a really goodmemory and a really good feeling
to be able to do something thatI was scared of, that my
nine-year-old niece was totallycool with and so excited to do,
(14:09):
right?
So I know that will be a greatstory to share later in the
future, but.
The point is just enjoyyourself.
With everything like, enjoyyourself drinking just don't
over drink because you're goingto feel like crap and then
you're going to miss out on awhole day of vacation.
(14:29):
And enjoy what you're wearing.
Enjoy your life.
Life is too short to bequestioning what clothes you
want to wear.
It like is hot.
If it's hot, where was you want.
Just do it.
And it might be scary, but as apiece of cloth, and you can take
it off and change, but if youwanted to give it a try, give it
(14:51):
a try.
Because everybody's just doingtheir thing and just minding
their own business, I promiseyou.
And, embrace those moments withyour family or with your
friends, or even by yourself,just anytime you have that
moment in your life, where youjust feel a little peace, take
advantage of embracing that andtaking it in and just really
(15:16):
thinking about it deeply.
Don't let that moment pass you.
Take that time to appreciateyour life and find the
gratefulness that you have.
I guess that was veryappropriate for.
Thanksgiving, to have thanks andbe grateful.
Just continue that through theholidays.
If you can, if that is somethingthat you could do during the
(15:39):
holidays embrace every momentthat you have with people that
you love or.
even yourself then.
Take the time to do that.
Remember, great things in yourlife when things aren't feeling
so great.
Sometimes life sucks and life ishard.
and, knowing that you have allthese special moments in your
mind that you can experience andremember sometimes it can be
(16:02):
helpful.
So just take moments in your dayto do that and reflect on the
good times.
Thank you guys so much.
I will talk to you guys nextweek.
I appreciate you for listeningand have a great day.
Thanks.
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