April 8, 2025 • 15 mins
In Episode 33 of The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Cristina Gonzalez, the Curvy Girl Dating Coach, draws inspiration from the TV show Ted Lasso to explore the importance of belief in oneself when it comes to dating. Cristina shares her personal journey of overcoming self-doubt related to societal pressures about weight and finding love. She emphasizes that self-belief is crucial for cultivating healthy, lasting relationships. Throughout the episode, she discusses practical ways to maintain self-belief, handle rejection positively, and celebrate small victories. Cristina encourages listeners to foster a mindset of confidence and surround themselves with supportive, positive influences, much like Ted Lasso's iconic 'Believe' sign in the locker room.
00:00 Introduction to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
00:13 Cristina's Personal Dating Journey
00:56 Lessons from Ted Lasso
02:18 The Power of Belief in Dating
03:57 Building Self-Confidence and Overcoming Rejection
10:41 Celebrating Small Victories
12:50 Surrounding Yourself with Believers
14:51 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Consultation Call: https://calendly.com/cristinacoaches/discovery-session
FREE Curvy Girl Dating Checklist: https://thecurvygirldatingcoach.myflodesk.com/datingchecklist
Website: https://www.thecurvygirldatingcoach.com
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Email List: https://thecurvygirldatingcoach.myflodesk.com/emaillist
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cristina (00:01):
You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast,
Episode 33 (00:04):
Lessons from Ted Lasso"Believe." Hi, I'm
Cristina.
After 10 years of dating, I wastired of attracting the wrong
type of guys and thinking I hadto lose weight to find love.
I finally figured out how todate and I found the love I
thought I would never find eachweek.
(00:25):
I'll teach you dating advice,share dating stories and help
you ditch the diet drama andhelp you ditch the dating drama.
My goal is to help you have funand create the life you love.
If you're ready to take yourdating to another level, then
listen up and let's go.
(00:47):
Hello everyone.
Welcome back to the Curvy GirlDating Podcast.
I am Cristina Gonzalez and I amthe Curvy Girl Dating Coach.
So I've been watching Ted Lassoa lot lately.
I was, binge watching it becauseI heard that they're gonna have
a fourth season so I wanted towatch the first three seasons so
(01:11):
I can get excited about thepotential fourth season that's
hopefully coming up.
There's so many lessons in theshow that are relatable to
dating and I just kept thinkingabout it.
The one that I really wanna talkabout today is about belief.
He has that yellow sign hangingin the locker room.
(01:35):
Right above his office door.
It's the big yellow sign andit's got the"believe" in big
blue letters.
It means so much.
That word believe it means somuch and it's such an impact
being in that locker room.
And so he did thatstrategically, right?
It's something he believes in.
(01:56):
He is surrounding himself withthat kind of energy and he wants
other people to believe so hejust throws it out there in a
nice little sign above his doorand I think it's a really good
representation of who Ted Lassois in the first place.
He's a believer.
He is a strong, coach, greatattitude, whatever.
(02:18):
What does it really mean tobelieve in yourself?
That's something that we'regonna talk about today,
especially after dating feelslike rejection after rejection
and things that society tells usthat keeps us believing that
we're not wanted because of oursize.
Totally untrue, but it's justsomething that's in our mind
(02:41):
because we are surrounded by itin society, so it's easy to fall
into that thinking of,"if Ilooked different, maybe it'd
already be in a relationship.
If I lost weight, nobody's gonnafall in love with me at this
weight.
I'm just too fat for anyone tolove me." All of these are
thoughts that have been in mymind, all of them, and I'm sure
(03:04):
that there's a million more, butI just want this episode to
remind you that if you want thekind of love that's real and
healthy and long lasting,believing in yourself isn't
optional.
(03:24):
You need to believe in who youare.
That is what's going to get youthe love that you want, that you
deserve, that you're lookingfor, because you're creating
that inner belief and that innerlove for yourself, so that's
what you need to have as yourown core before you can receive
(03:46):
that love that's real andhealthy and lasting.
So we're gonna talk about belieftoday.
Let's just get into it and let'stalk about it.
It's believing in yourself, evenwhen it's hard, what does belief
actually mean and what does itactually mean when it comes to
(04:07):
dating?
It to me, believing in myself isthis like unshakeable knowing
that I'm worthy, I'm capable,I'm enough that I'm just this
bad bitch and I know who I amand I'm confident in myself and
I believe that I can be anexample of what's possible,
right?
Because that's always what Iwanna try to do is be an example
(04:31):
and show that people can dothings that are hard, right?
Believing is hard.
Dating is hard.
So many things are hard for youto do, but having that thought
in your mind that you know thatthe world doesn't need to
validate you and even whenthings don't go your way and
(04:52):
when you are in a season ofuncertainty, you're still enough
and you can still believe.
And it's not about beingperfect.
It's not about having 24/7confidence or never feeling
doubtful.
We're allowed to have negativefeelings or disbelief in
(05:13):
ourself.
It's just choosing how to showup for yourself anyways when
those times do get hard.
And when it comes to dating,it's relatable because it's
trusting your value beforesomeone else affirms it.
Like you don't need to havesomebody else confirm that
(05:34):
you're valuable.
You are already the shit and youwant somebody to join you.
You don't need them tocompliment you.
Rejection doesn't define you andit doesn't mean that someone
doesn't invite you to a seconddate that you are not good
enough.
(05:54):
It just means that you are notfor them.
You're not broken.
You're still a whole capableperson that is worthy of love.
Worthy of belief.
Because again, belief isn'toptional, but it's choosing how
to show up for yourself.
So to me, belief is that abilityto keep going.
(06:17):
And don't confuse it with toxicpositivity or pretending all the
time that you feel like you'reamazing.
If you have seen Ted Lasso, youwould know that he is this happy
go lucky, great guy.
He's always trying to pumppeople up.
He just has that coach mentalityand mindset like within him and
(06:39):
his soul.
But he has his own shit going ontoo.
He's not always happy 100%.
He is surrounded by people whohe wants to pep up, and that's
gonna pep him up as well,because he's being surrounded by
that positivity and the abilityto believe so you don't have to
pretend to be positive andamazing and always feel good.
(07:03):
Feelings are feelings and you'revalid to have any feeling you
want.
Good or bad.
Just remind yourself that eventhough you believe, sometimes it
feels shitty and you just gottaget through it, it's just part
of the work that you have to doto figure things out.
Holding onto the truth thatyou're enough, no matter what,
(07:25):
before you find a partner.
You are still already enough.
You have to believe that beforeyou go out.
If you only believe that you'reonly good enough when you have a
partner, it's gonna be evenharder to find a partner because
you don't know what's goodenough.
There's a lot of settling thatcould be involved in that.
(07:48):
You already have to know thatyou're enough and you're 100%.
So that Ted Lasso vibe is evenwhen they're losing, he still
shows up with heart andleadership and optimism, and he
is there no matter what.
No matter how hard it sucks tolose.
(08:09):
When you lose 5-0 against ManCity, you could still come out
of that with the belief that itwas just one game that was a
hard game.
That the next game can be evenbetter.
It can be a win.
So even when you're losing,still showing up with a belief
you can keep moving forward andtry no matter what, is an
(08:32):
example of believing inyourself, even when it's hard.
So in relation to dating.
If you go on a date.
You don't get a second date orthey ghost you, or it's just not
a good match.
Keep believing that it's not areflection of you.
(08:53):
It's a reflection of who theyare and they just don't deserve
the love that you have to offer.
Even when you're tired andyou're burned out, or you're
just feeling undateable.
If they don't deserve the lovethat you have to offer, that's a
belief that keeps you from theburnout.
So how are you talking toyourself?
(09:15):
I have a million thoughts a day,and to me, it's my self-talk.
So how are you hyping yourselfup before you leave the house?
Are you hyping yourself up orare you tearing yourself down?
Like before you go on a date,are you creating the belief or
are you feeling tired and burnedout?
(09:36):
How are you showing up.
Again, belief is how you show upfor things.
So how are you talking toyourself whenever you walk out
the house and you're on a way toa date?
Are you hyping yourself up orare you tearing yourself down?
What is putting you in thebelief that you're worthy and
that you're capable of love andthat you're capable of healthy
(09:59):
relationships?
How are you keeping away fromthe burnout or feeling
undateable.
You don't wanna show up to adate feeling undateable.
Like that doesn't make sense,right?
We wanna show up to a date beingdateable.
We don't wanna feel tired, wedon't wanna feel burned out.
We want to be ready for the bestpossible outcome.
(10:22):
It's that confidence that you'recreating.
Confidence doesn't come beforeyou put yourself out there.
It's built by showing up evenwhen you're scared.
Even when times are hard, beliefis always there for you.
How can belief be there for you?
What does that look like or whatdoes that mean?
To me, it's celebrating likesmall victories.
(10:45):
I am always trying to find waysto celebrate myself.
In just in real life, not evenwhen it comes to dating, but in
real life.
It just celebrating these littlesmall victories.
I went on a walk, I took my dogsout on a walk.
It might sound like a minimalthing.
It might not sound like anythingthat's important, but for me
(11:09):
it's a big celebration to get mydogs ready, go for a walk, and
not see it as a chore.
It's not a chore.
It's an enjoyable time.
I get to spend time with mydogs.
They get to exercise, I get toexercise, I get to see my
neighborhood.
There's a lot of little winsthat you can create for yourself
(11:31):
that build belief.
So what does that look like fordating?
Small wins is that you went onthe date and you came home and
even though you were nervous, oreven though the date didn't go
well and you're embarrassed orwhatever, you still showed up
and that's a win in itself,right?
So another victory would be.
(11:53):
Being able to tell them that youare not interested.
Not having to feel like you aredesperate or you need to just
date anybody who's talking toyou.
Being able to have that smallvictory and celebrating that you
have options and that you don'tneed to settle for anybody.
That's another win.
(12:15):
That's a huge win.
That's not even a small victory.
So track the wins and createevidence that you have more and
more belief in yourself everysingle day.
Catch those times when you'reself-talk is negative.
Again, it's okay to not alwaysbe in this positive mood and
(12:37):
positive belief, but catchingit, figuring out why, and then
just realizing, I'm choosing tofeel like crap when I can choose
to have belief." You're just onethought away from believing, and
again, surround yourself withother believers.
(12:58):
Ted didn't build a team byhimself, he's not the only one
who has belief.
He showed up to coach this team.
He puts that yellow"believe"sign up there.
He started showing up to be anexample of what's possible.
So him showing up and modelinghis ability to believe in his
(13:21):
team.
Even when he is not even afootball coach, he's an American
football coach, but he is not asoccer coach, or a European
football coach.
It's not about what you'recoaching, it's about the coach.
So keeping your circle ofbelievers around is so
(13:42):
important.
And the negative vibes, we don'twant that here.
It is not gonna keep your beliefconsistent and it will derail
you when they're not supportingyou and they're not supporting
your beliefs and what you want.
It's good to be around thatenergy and you also have to
trust that the right person'sgonna match your energy.
(14:04):
If you're a believer inyourself, and you're a believer
in that the right person isgonna match that same energy.
They're gonna be the right matchbecause there's belief between
you two.
And believing in yourself weedsout the people that are
intimidated by you.
It weeds out the people who arenot in your energy.
(14:25):
So get that belief energy andsurround yourself in there
because you're gonna find peoplethat believe with you as well.
So Ted Lasso's"believe" sign ismore than a decoration.
It's a mindset.
It's a promise to yourself thateven when things are hard and
when you're tired, You stillkeep showing up for yourself
(14:48):
every single day no matter what.
So this week I want you to findone way to believe in yourself.
Maybe it's updating your datingprofile with a little bit of
confidence or having a boldmessage.
Just one thing that you can doto begin being in belief that
you're amazing and that you'rethe prize.
(15:09):
I hope this episode spoke toyou, and if a friend needs to
hear it, please share it.
So go out there and be like TedLasso and believe.
I'll see y'all next time.
You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast,
Episode 33 (00:04):
Lessons from Ted Lasso"Believe." Hi, I'm
Cristina.
After 10 years of dating, I wastired of attracting the wrong
type of guys and thinking I hadto lose weight to find love.
I finally figured out how todate and I found the love I
thought I would never find eachweek.
(00:25):
I'll teach you dating advice,share dating stories and help
you ditch the diet drama andhelp you ditch the dating drama.
My goal is to help you have funand create the life you love.
If you're ready to take yourdating to another level, then
listen up and let's go.
(00:47):
Hello everyone.
Welcome back to the Curvy GirlDating Podcast.
I am Cristina Gonzalez and I amthe Curvy Girl Dating Coach.
So I've been watching Ted Lassoa lot lately.
I was, binge watching it becauseI heard that they're gonna have
a fourth season so I wanted towatch the first three seasons so
(01:11):
I can get excited about thepotential fourth season that's
hopefully coming up.
There's so many lessons in theshow that are relatable to
dating and I just kept thinkingabout it.
The one that I really wanna talkabout today is about belief.
He has that yellow sign hangingin the locker room.
(01:35):
Right above his office door.
It's the big yellow sign andit's got the"believe" in big
blue letters.
It means so much.
That word believe it means somuch and it's such an impact
being in that locker room.
And so he did thatstrategically, right?
It's something he believes in.
(01:56):
He is surrounding himself withthat kind of energy and he wants
other people to believe so hejust throws it out there in a
nice little sign above his doorand I think it's a really good
representation of who Ted Lassois in the first place.
He's a believer.
He is a strong, coach, greatattitude, whatever.
(02:18):
What does it really mean tobelieve in yourself?
That's something that we'regonna talk about today,
especially after dating feelslike rejection after rejection
and things that society tells usthat keeps us believing that
we're not wanted because of oursize.
Totally untrue, but it's justsomething that's in our mind
(02:41):
because we are surrounded by itin society, so it's easy to fall
into that thinking of,"if Ilooked different, maybe it'd
already be in a relationship.
If I lost weight, nobody's gonnafall in love with me at this
weight.
I'm just too fat for anyone tolove me." All of these are
thoughts that have been in mymind, all of them, and I'm sure
(03:04):
that there's a million more, butI just want this episode to
remind you that if you want thekind of love that's real and
healthy and long lasting,believing in yourself isn't
optional.
(03:24):
You need to believe in who youare.
That is what's going to get youthe love that you want, that you
deserve, that you're lookingfor, because you're creating
that inner belief and that innerlove for yourself, so that's
what you need to have as yourown core before you can receive
(03:46):
that love that's real andhealthy and lasting.
So we're gonna talk about belieftoday.
Let's just get into it and let'stalk about it.
It's believing in yourself, evenwhen it's hard, what does belief
actually mean and what does itactually mean when it comes to
(04:07):
dating?
It to me, believing in myself isthis like unshakeable knowing
that I'm worthy, I'm capable,I'm enough that I'm just this
bad bitch and I know who I amand I'm confident in myself and
I believe that I can be anexample of what's possible,
right?
Because that's always what Iwanna try to do is be an example
(04:31):
and show that people can dothings that are hard, right?
Believing is hard.
Dating is hard.
So many things are hard for youto do, but having that thought
in your mind that you know thatthe world doesn't need to
validate you and even whenthings don't go your way and
(04:52):
when you are in a season ofuncertainty, you're still enough
and you can still believe.
And it's not about beingperfect.
It's not about having 24/7confidence or never feeling
doubtful.
We're allowed to have negativefeelings or disbelief in
(05:13):
ourself.
It's just choosing how to showup for yourself anyways when
those times do get hard.
And when it comes to dating,it's relatable because it's
trusting your value beforesomeone else affirms it.
Like you don't need to havesomebody else confirm that
(05:34):
you're valuable.
You are already the shit and youwant somebody to join you.
You don't need them tocompliment you.
Rejection doesn't define you andit doesn't mean that someone
doesn't invite you to a seconddate that you are not good
enough.
(05:54):
It just means that you are notfor them.
You're not broken.
You're still a whole capableperson that is worthy of love.
Worthy of belief.
Because again, belief isn'toptional, but it's choosing how
to show up for yourself.
So to me, belief is that abilityto keep going.
(06:17):
And don't confuse it with toxicpositivity or pretending all the
time that you feel like you'reamazing.
If you have seen Ted Lasso, youwould know that he is this happy
go lucky, great guy.
He's always trying to pumppeople up.
He just has that coach mentalityand mindset like within him and
(06:39):
his soul.
But he has his own shit going ontoo.
He's not always happy 100%.
He is surrounded by people whohe wants to pep up, and that's
gonna pep him up as well,because he's being surrounded by
that positivity and the abilityto believe so you don't have to
pretend to be positive andamazing and always feel good.
(07:03):
Feelings are feelings and you'revalid to have any feeling you
want.
Good or bad.
Just remind yourself that eventhough you believe, sometimes it
feels shitty and you just gottaget through it, it's just part
of the work that you have to doto figure things out.
Holding onto the truth thatyou're enough, no matter what,
(07:25):
before you find a partner.
You are still already enough.
You have to believe that beforeyou go out.
If you only believe that you'reonly good enough when you have a
partner, it's gonna be evenharder to find a partner because
you don't know what's goodenough.
There's a lot of settling thatcould be involved in that.
(07:48):
You already have to know thatyou're enough and you're 100%.
So that Ted Lasso vibe is evenwhen they're losing, he still
shows up with heart andleadership and optimism, and he
is there no matter what.
No matter how hard it sucks tolose.
(08:09):
When you lose 5-0 against ManCity, you could still come out
of that with the belief that itwas just one game that was a
hard game.
That the next game can be evenbetter.
It can be a win.
So even when you're losing,still showing up with a belief
you can keep moving forward andtry no matter what, is an
(08:32):
example of believing inyourself, even when it's hard.
So in relation to dating.
If you go on a date.
You don't get a second date orthey ghost you, or it's just not
a good match.
Keep believing that it's not areflection of you.
(08:53):
It's a reflection of who theyare and they just don't deserve
the love that you have to offer.
Even when you're tired andyou're burned out, or you're
just feeling undateable.
If they don't deserve the lovethat you have to offer, that's a
belief that keeps you from theburnout.
So how are you talking toyourself?
(09:15):
I have a million thoughts a day,and to me, it's my self-talk.
So how are you hyping yourselfup before you leave the house?
Are you hyping yourself up orare you tearing yourself down?
Like before you go on a date,are you creating the belief or
are you feeling tired and burnedout?
(09:36):
How are you showing up.
Again, belief is how you show upfor things.
So how are you talking toyourself whenever you walk out
the house and you're on a way toa date?
Are you hyping yourself up orare you tearing yourself down?
What is putting you in thebelief that you're worthy and
that you're capable of love andthat you're capable of healthy
(09:59):
relationships?
How are you keeping away fromthe burnout or feeling
undateable.
You don't wanna show up to adate feeling undateable.
Like that doesn't make sense,right?
We wanna show up to a date beingdateable.
We don't wanna feel tired, wedon't wanna feel burned out.
We want to be ready for the bestpossible outcome.
(10:22):
It's that confidence that you'recreating.
Confidence doesn't come beforeyou put yourself out there.
It's built by showing up evenwhen you're scared.
Even when times are hard, beliefis always there for you.
How can belief be there for you?
What does that look like or whatdoes that mean?
To me, it's celebrating likesmall victories.
(10:45):
I am always trying to find waysto celebrate myself.
In just in real life, not evenwhen it comes to dating, but in
real life.
It just celebrating these littlesmall victories.
I went on a walk, I took my dogsout on a walk.
It might sound like a minimalthing.
It might not sound like anythingthat's important, but for me
(11:09):
it's a big celebration to get mydogs ready, go for a walk, and
not see it as a chore.
It's not a chore.
It's an enjoyable time.
I get to spend time with mydogs.
They get to exercise, I get toexercise, I get to see my
neighborhood.
There's a lot of little winsthat you can create for yourself
(11:31):
that build belief.
So what does that look like fordating?
Small wins is that you went onthe date and you came home and
even though you were nervous, oreven though the date didn't go
well and you're embarrassed orwhatever, you still showed up
and that's a win in itself,right?
So another victory would be.
(11:53):
Being able to tell them that youare not interested.
Not having to feel like you aredesperate or you need to just
date anybody who's talking toyou.
Being able to have that smallvictory and celebrating that you
have options and that you don'tneed to settle for anybody.
That's another win.
(12:15):
That's a huge win.
That's not even a small victory.
So track the wins and createevidence that you have more and
more belief in yourself everysingle day.
Catch those times when you'reself-talk is negative.
Again, it's okay to not alwaysbe in this positive mood and
(12:37):
positive belief, but catchingit, figuring out why, and then
just realizing, I'm choosing tofeel like crap when I can choose
to have belief." You're just onethought away from believing, and
again, surround yourself withother believers.
(12:58):
Ted didn't build a team byhimself, he's not the only one
who has belief.
He showed up to coach this team.
He puts that yellow"believe"sign up there.
He started showing up to be anexample of what's possible.
So him showing up and modelinghis ability to believe in his
(13:21):
team.
Even when he is not even afootball coach, he's an American
football coach, but he is not asoccer coach, or a European
football coach.
It's not about what you'recoaching, it's about the coach.
So keeping your circle ofbelievers around is so
(13:42):
important.
And the negative vibes, we don'twant that here.
It is not gonna keep your beliefconsistent and it will derail
you when they're not supportingyou and they're not supporting
your beliefs and what you want.
It's good to be around thatenergy and you also have to
trust that the right person'sgonna match your energy.
(14:04):
If you're a believer inyourself, and you're a believer
in that the right person isgonna match that same energy.
They're gonna be the right matchbecause there's belief between
you two.
And believing in yourself weedsout the people that are
intimidated by you.
It weeds out the people who arenot in your energy.
(14:25):
So get that belief energy andsurround yourself in there
because you're gonna find peoplethat believe with you as well.
So Ted Lasso's"believe" sign ismore than a decoration.
It's a mindset.
It's a promise to yourself thateven when things are hard and
when you're tired, You stillkeep showing up for yourself
(14:48):
every single day no matter what.
So this week I want you to findone way to believe in yourself.
Maybe it's updating your datingprofile with a little bit of
confidence or having a boldmessage.
Just one thing that you can doto begin being in belief that
you're amazing and that you'rethe prize.
(15:09):
I hope this episode spoke toyou, and if a friend needs to
hear it, please share it.
So go out there and be like TedLasso and believe.
I'll see y'all next time.
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