May 6, 2025 • 22 mins
In Episode 35 of The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Cristina Gonzalez, a curvy girl dating coach, discusses the benefits and value of hiring a dating coach. She shares how a dating coach can help you gain confidence, improve self-worth, and effectively communicate to attract the right person. Cristina highlights her personal journey, the misconceptions about dating coaches, and how tailored strategies can lead to meaningful, long-term relationships. She also explains the differences between coaching and venting to friends, the importance of self-love, and how a coach can support you through emotional and mental challenges in the dating world.
00:00 Introduction to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
00:48 What is a Dating Coach?
04:52 The Value of a Dating Coach
07:19 Why Hire a Dating Coach?
11:09 Are You a Good Fit for Coaching?
18:58 Why Choose Me as Your Dating Coach?
21:08 Conclusion and Next Steps
Consultation Call: https://calendly.com/cristinacoaches/discovery-session
FREE Curvy Girl Dating Checklist: https://thecurvygirldatingcoach.myflodesk.com/datingchecklist
Website: https://www.thecurvygirldatingcoach.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecurvygirldatingcoach
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thecurvygirldatingcoach
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecurvygirldatingcoach
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thecurvygirldatingcoach
Email List: https://thecurvygirldatingcoach.myflodesk.com/emaillist
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cristina (00:00):
You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast,
Episode 35.
Do I Need A Dating Coach?
Hi, I'm Cristina.
After 10 years of dating, I wastired of attracting the wrong
type of guys and thinking I hadto lose weight to find love.
I finally figured out how todate and I found the love I
thought I would never find eachweek.
(00:23):
I'll teach you dating advice,share dating stories and help
you ditch the dating drama.
My goal is to help you have funand create the life you love.
If you're ready to take yourdating to another level, then
listen up and let's go.
Hey y'all.
Welcome to The Curvy Girl DatingPodcast.
(00:44):
I'm Cristina Gonzalez and I amThe Curvy Girl Dating Coach.
Today, I am going to talk aboutsomething that I get asked a
lot.
A lot of people will ask mewhat, even as a dating coach and
who really needs a dating coach.
Some people really need a datingcoach.
Just letting you know.
(01:05):
The first thing people will sayis,"oh, like hitch." It's not
really like hitch.
Maybe a little bit like theoverall idea of the story.
Sure.
It's like hitch, but theexamples that they have in the
movie are not exactly what adating coach does.
(01:25):
So spoil alert, it is not justabout finding a man.
It's about so much more thanthat.
So we're gonna dive into it andwe're gonna talk about what a
dating coach is, what that lookslike.
Who is it for, how does itchange your life, how it changed
(01:45):
my life, how it's different fromjust venting with your
girlfriends over brunch.
There's a difference between theadvice that you get from your
girlfriends and from a datingcoach.
Sometimes they're similar, butnot all the time.
If you are sick of dating thesame guy or being on the apps
(02:07):
and not getting anywhere, oryou're just burned out from
dating, or you just feel likelove isn't for you.
I felt like that a lot when Iwas dating, but if you feel any
of those things, seriously,listen to this episode because I
hope this is helpful for you andwill give you the green light
(02:29):
that you've been waiting for.
So let's just get into it.
What is a dating coach and whatdo they actually do?
A dating coach helps you gainconfidence, help with your
self-worth, and give you someclarity on how to attract the
right person and the rightrelationship that you're looking
(02:49):
for.
Most of my clients are lookingfor long-term relationships that
lead to marriage.
That's what I was looking for,so that's who most of my clients
are.
But I have clients that wantother types of relationships.
They're all important and youdeserve to have any kind of
(03:10):
relationship that you want.
So a dating coach helps you getthat clarity and go for what
you're actually looking for.
I don't sit around and tell youwhat to do or what to say.
I don't evaluate every singletext message that you get.
I help you get some ideas onbetter ways to communicate.
I'm not gonna tell you how topose for every single dating
(03:32):
profile picture.
That's part of it.
Of course, I give people thatadvice, but it's just scratching
the surface.
Even though I might help youwith things like posing for your
dating profile, we also talkabout so much more.
And ultimately my goal is foryou to go from, oh, I hope he
(03:53):
likes me to, I hope I like him."It's an easy mindset switch that
can make a big impact in the waythat you're dating by realigning
that mindset.
So anyways, it's like hiring apersonal trainer, but for love.
We work on your mindset, youremotional patterns, and the
(04:15):
strategies on how to get whatyou want.
Because you deserve to haveoptions.
You do have options and youdon't deserve to settle for
whoever.
So, we go through that, pickthat all apart, and show you how
to get to that mindset where youknow that you're a bad bitch and
(04:37):
you can date and have fun andenjoy it and make decisions from
love and power instead ofconfusion and uncertainty.
That's a little bit about what adating coach is and what we
really do.
So what is the value in having adating coach?
Like why would it be important?
(04:59):
A dating coach helps a lot withaccountability.
You stop spinning your wheels,overthinking and freaking out
all the freaking time and youcan start taking like real
action steps.
So it's like there's someemotional regulation that we
work on and it applies to morethan just your dating life.
(05:21):
Once you start practicing themindset skills on how to stop
spinning your wheels, you'lllearn how to apply that to your
dating life, your friendshipsyour work life, your personal
life.
You'll learn how to havehealthier emotional regularity.
So I'm your accountabilitypartner and I teach you the
(05:42):
tools to do that.
I'm also a great support system.
I talk to you with compassion,with love.
I am there to challenge yourthoughts and give you an
opportunity to think a littlebit on a different perspective
and I ask you questions tounravel that.
So I'm there to support youthrough that discomfort.
(06:04):
'cause you're gonna go through alot of self reflection and
sometimes it's uncomfortable orpainful, and I'm there to
support you.
I'm not trying to give yououtdated or unsolicited advice
that somebody's trying to offeryou, and they know nothing about
it.
I have real world experience ofbeing single for a very long
(06:26):
time and making all the mistakesand spinning all my wheels and
going through it.
So I've learned how to createstrategies and a proven plan
that's specific for you so thatyou can learn how to date
confidently.
So that's the difference andthat's what coaches offer.
They want to make sure that youhave a plan that's going to help
(06:50):
you.
It's not gonna be this cookiecutter plan that might work for
some people and might not workfor others.
We really get to know you, andwe develop a strategy that you
can work with to move forwardand be more comfortable dating.
And eventually you'll end upseeing a transformation when you
go through your coachingprogram.
(07:12):
It helps you stop dating withinsecurity and start dating from
power.
So why?
Why would a single woman want tohire a dating coach?
You would wanna hire a datingcoach if you're tired of dating
the same guy that's in adifferent body.
You're attracting the samepeople over and over again, and
(07:33):
you know they're wrong for you,but you try it.
Just in case they might bedifferent and then they're not,
and it's disappointing and youare just doing the same thing
every single time and you'resick of dating that same guy.
When a woman hires a datingcoach, they learn how to attract
different people and how to veryquickly know which person is
(07:57):
great to get to know and whichperson isn't all that great and
they should be a pass.
Single woman would want to hirea dating coach because she's
confident in all areas of herlife, but completely insecure
about herself when it comes tolove.
So for me, I was supersuccessful in all areas of my
(08:18):
life.
I had a great family, a verysupportive family.
I went to college, I had my owncar.
I started my own career after Ifinished school.
I paid my student loans.
So anyhow, I was doing reallywell in all areas of my life and
I was confident in who I waseverywhere.
(08:39):
But when it came to finding aromantic partner or finding
someone that I actually wantedto take home to meet my parents.
I was just never able to findthat, and it felt so hard and so
unattainable that I lostcomplete hope for myself and all
my confidence as a single woman.
I just never thought that I wasgonna find anybody, and I had no
(09:02):
idea what was wrong with me andwhy nobody wanted me.
And a lot of times I spent hoursbelieving that it was because of
my body shape, because of what Ilook like, because I gained so
much weight, since I wasyounger, that I was in a body I
didn't want.
I made it so much about my bodyand I am focused so much on
(09:26):
learning to not love myself.
I was doing the reverse, right?
So the further that you get awayfrom that self-love and that
self-worth, the harder it'sgonna be to find the love that
you want.
You really have to learn thoseskills and figure out how to
(09:46):
have self-worth and confidenceand know that you're the shit
before you go out and find thatperson that's gonna see that in
you.
There's a lot of work when itcomes to having a dating coach
and working with somebody.
It's really valuable to havesomebody that is there to be on
(10:07):
your side and support you.
Especially somebody who's beenin that situation and has felt
all the things.
I am sure that I've had the samethoughts that you have.
It was quite the challenge a lotof times when I was single.
If she wants to date with apurpose and not just past time,
that is a reason that somebodywould want a dating coach again,
(10:29):
just like me, I wanted to datewith a purpose.
I wanted to find a long-termrelationship.
I didn't wanna just have acasual person to spend time
with.
And sure, I always wanted tohave people to meet and spend
time with and get to know andhave friends or however, but I
also wanted to find arelationship that was purposeful
(10:51):
and meaningful and would lead tomarriage.
I had to learn how to dosomething different.
If you're doing the same shitover and you're stuck and you
don't know how to get out of it,then a dating coach is a wise
idea if that's something thatyou would like to do.
How do you know if you would bea good fit for coaching?
(11:12):
Being able to be self-aware andopen to feedback is so
important.
If you want to be a good fit forcoaching, being able to talk
about yourself and beingvulnerable to a coach and,
picking holes through your pastand mend some of those wounds
that can help you in the futurewith your confidence and your
(11:36):
self worth.
We look into that and we deepdive into a little bit of your
past to see if some of yourbeliefs that you currently have
are linked to anything fromthat.
And we break it down and learnhow to change our mindset so we
can leave that in the past andput it in the future.
So if you're ready to startmoving forward and thinking
(11:59):
about how your life can be, inthe future, then you would be a
good fit for having a datingcoach.
If you're tired of half-assingyour healing process and you're
ready for real change.
If you have bad relationshiphistory and you are struggling
(12:19):
to move forward, then a datingcoach would be very valuable.
I know for me, I had arelationship, and it just didn't
work out.
Long story short, we did nothave the same goals.
We didn't have the same visionof our future.
For me, it was together.
For him, it was not with me.
(12:39):
And that's okay.
I was in a not greatrelationship and I really
struggled on how to create a newrelationship without having the
thought in my head that it wasgonna be a waste dating them
because they weren't gonna wannabe with me in the future.
I was never gonna find somebody'cause they were all gonna end
up turning out like my lastrelationship in a breakup.
(13:02):
And it really was a challengefor me to move on from that
thought.
I was ready to heal.
When you're ready fortransformation and see your life
be something that you envisionit to be instead of what you
don't think that you can everhave, right?
So if you want to have atransformation from your
ordinary life to something youdidn't think was possible for
(13:25):
you, having a coach would be agood fit.
Why should anybody hire a datingcoach instead of figuring it out
themselves?
A lot of people think oh, it'sso stupid.
You don't need a coach to tellyou how to date," and you're
probably right.
A lot of people think, oh, it'sso easy.
You're just having aconversation with people and
that's it.
(13:45):
Do you like them or you don't?
It sounds easy, but it's notwhen it involves so many
emotions and thoughts that gothrough your mind, and if you
have a lot built up that iskeeping you from dating
successfully, then yeah.
Some people need a dating coach.
That's the people who shouldthink about it.
(14:05):
If that's not where you are inlife, then you can figure it out
by yourself and you can do it,and that's great for you.
But not every single person canfind the right relationships
they actually want and deserveand need a little bit of help
figuring that out.
You shouldn't feel bad abouthaving to figure it out with a
(14:25):
little bit of help.
Love is very important in ourlives.
And I'm not talking about justlove for someone else.
I'm talking about love ingeneral.
Love for yourself, love for thisworld, love for your life, your
gratitude for things that are inyour life that are going well.
When you live in love, insteadof fear, anger, or resentment,
(14:51):
your life is just so much betterwhen you are in that abundance
and in that feeling of love.
And you get to create all ofthat.
So love is a very importantthing that people need in their
life.
And again, not necessarily arelationship.
(15:12):
Love, I'm just talking aboutlove in freaking general.
We learn how to date we learnhow to find the love that we're
looking for.
You don't need to wait until youlose 20 pounds.
You don't need to wait until youget your dream job for you to
start dating and start lookingfor love.
(15:35):
You don't have to wait and haveit all together.
Nobody has it all together ever.
We're all a work in progress andwe all have room for growth.
Why would you wanna wait untilyou lose weight before you find
a relationship?
Just do it now.
Find somebody who loves youright now instead of the person
(15:56):
that you are not.
Because you're not the personwho's lost the weight yet.
You're not the person that hasit all together yet.
You're not the person who hasthe dream job yet, but find the
person who wants to support youand be there now for you so that
they can see your transformationand be there to support you So
(16:17):
having somebody help you out alittle bit and get you through
those steps and give you thosetools instead of having to
figure it all out by yourself.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Just like you want education foranything else in your life that
you wanna learn how to do.
If you wanna learn how to datewell and how to enjoy your
single life, your dating life,your friendship life, all the
(16:39):
other kinds of relationshipsthat you have in your life.
If you want that to improve andit's something that you're
interested in, then just hire acoach.
Somebody who's gonna assist youand your future goals, like why
would it be wrong to have someextra support?
If you are struggling in anyarea and you think you can use a
(17:01):
little help figuring things out,there's nothing wrong with
getting a coach.
If you need counseling first.
Counseling and life coaching arenot the same thing.
Okay?
So sometimes people need to workwith counselors or therapists
alongside with a life coach.
Sometimes you might need to workwith a therapist first and then
(17:24):
move on to a life coach.
I am not a certified therapist.
I'm not a certified counselor, Iam an expert in dating.
So I want that to be very clear.
Life coaching and datingcoaching is a whole different
ball game.
I respect that boundary and Iwould never try to be somebody
(17:46):
that I'm not.
So if we were to have aconsultation and I think you
might be a great fit forcoaching, but you might need
some, other type ofinterventions first, I would
also recommend that too.
I wanna make sure that you aregetting the best support in your
life.
Creating a life you love issuper important.
(18:07):
Do it now.
Don't wait for something tostart living your life.
Live the life that you freakingwant right now.
If you wanna go on vacation, goon the damn vacation.
Don't shorten what you canexperience in your life because
you don't have a partner.
Go out and go find the damnpartner while you're having an
amazing single life.
And just learning how to developfriendships and healthy
(18:29):
relationships and a healthysocial life.
I've had clients that weren'tcomfortable dating online and
they wanted to learn how to meetpeople in real life and didn't
know how to go out by themselveswithout feeling uncomfortable.
She was learning to find placeswhere people would be.
Where it wouldn't be awkward togo out by yourself.
(18:50):
So you learn how to developskills and have a healthier
social life, and that's a greatgoal to have.
another thing people ask me,like, why are you different from
any other dating coach?
I was single for 10 years.
I have a lot of practice.
I felt invisible.
I felt frustrated, angry.
(19:12):
I always felt like I was thefat, funny friend.
it's bullshit.
I was single for 10 years and Ihad all these feelings about it.
I have a lot of experiencedating, a lot of freaking
weirdos, a lot of rejection, alot of rejecting that I needed
to do.
I've been in that life I canrelate to being that plus size
(19:35):
single person and that plus sizefriend and feeling like your
body is inconvenient to peoplesucks.
That's why I'm a little bitdifferent from other dating
coaches.
Feeling like your body is anapology is really shitty, and I
(19:57):
don't know if straight sizepeople feel that.
But I definitely felt that whenI was single and trying to learn
how to date.
So I definitely know theemotions that are involved in
dating and how hard that couldbe, and frustrating it could be.
I feel like dating while fat isa whole nother way of dating.
(20:19):
We all have emotional challengesand mental challenges when we're
dating at all size of humans,but I think the thoughts that we
have as plus size women, they'redifferent and we really
understand each other when wetalk about it.
I'm here for all the things.
I wanna talk to you and getnitty gritty about all those
(20:40):
things that you might bethinking I am your hype woman.
I am not here to help you get aman.
I'm not trying to be yourmatchmaker, I'm not trying to be
your hitch.
I'm here to help you become abetter version of yourself and
the person who never settles,the person who dates to find
what they're looking for andwhat they deserve to have, and
(21:03):
not somebody who is dating justbecause.
If this episode hits home withyou and you are, considering
coaching, please, I would loveyou to schedule some time.
Let's talk about it and see ifit's something that works.
the link to the consultationcalendar is in my show notes.
(21:24):
It will be there and you canjust click on that link and
it'll go straight to my calendarAnd you can schedule an
appointment.
I don't need a credit card oranything.
There's no personal informationexcept for your email You don't
need to earn love by shrinkingyourself.
You just need the right tools,support and strategy to start
showing up As the woman whoknows she deserves it.
(21:46):
So if you're ready to do thisthing for real, click on the
link below in the show notes.
I'd love to hear your story andI love to help you make the
first step.
So just remember that datingdoes not have to be miserable.
You don't have to settle and youfor damn sure don't have to do
it alone.
You've got this and I've gotyou.
(22:08):
So let me know what you thinkand maybe I'll talk to you soon.
If not, I'll talk to you nextweek.
Bye.
You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast,
Episode 35.
Do I Need A Dating Coach?
Hi, I'm Cristina.
After 10 years of dating, I wastired of attracting the wrong
type of guys and thinking I hadto lose weight to find love.
I finally figured out how todate and I found the love I
thought I would never find eachweek.
(00:23):
I'll teach you dating advice,share dating stories and help
you ditch the dating drama.
My goal is to help you have funand create the life you love.
If you're ready to take yourdating to another level, then
listen up and let's go.
Hey y'all.
Welcome to The Curvy Girl DatingPodcast.
(00:44):
I'm Cristina Gonzalez and I amThe Curvy Girl Dating Coach.
Today, I am going to talk aboutsomething that I get asked a
lot.
A lot of people will ask mewhat, even as a dating coach and
who really needs a dating coach.
Some people really need a datingcoach.
Just letting you know.
(01:05):
The first thing people will sayis,"oh, like hitch." It's not
really like hitch.
Maybe a little bit like theoverall idea of the story.
Sure.
It's like hitch, but theexamples that they have in the
movie are not exactly what adating coach does.
(01:25):
So spoil alert, it is not justabout finding a man.
It's about so much more thanthat.
So we're gonna dive into it andwe're gonna talk about what a
dating coach is, what that lookslike.
Who is it for, how does itchange your life, how it changed
(01:45):
my life, how it's different fromjust venting with your
girlfriends over brunch.
There's a difference between theadvice that you get from your
girlfriends and from a datingcoach.
Sometimes they're similar, butnot all the time.
If you are sick of dating thesame guy or being on the apps
(02:07):
and not getting anywhere, oryou're just burned out from
dating, or you just feel likelove isn't for you.
I felt like that a lot when Iwas dating, but if you feel any
of those things, seriously,listen to this episode because I
hope this is helpful for you andwill give you the green light
(02:29):
that you've been waiting for.
So let's just get into it.
What is a dating coach and whatdo they actually do?
A dating coach helps you gainconfidence, help with your
self-worth, and give you someclarity on how to attract the
right person and the rightrelationship that you're looking
(02:49):
for.
Most of my clients are lookingfor long-term relationships that
lead to marriage.
That's what I was looking for,so that's who most of my clients
are.
But I have clients that wantother types of relationships.
They're all important and youdeserve to have any kind of
(03:10):
relationship that you want.
So a dating coach helps you getthat clarity and go for what
you're actually looking for.
I don't sit around and tell youwhat to do or what to say.
I don't evaluate every singletext message that you get.
I help you get some ideas onbetter ways to communicate.
I'm not gonna tell you how topose for every single dating
(03:32):
profile picture.
That's part of it.
Of course, I give people thatadvice, but it's just scratching
the surface.
Even though I might help youwith things like posing for your
dating profile, we also talkabout so much more.
And ultimately my goal is foryou to go from, oh, I hope he
(03:53):
likes me to, I hope I like him."It's an easy mindset switch that
can make a big impact in the waythat you're dating by realigning
that mindset.
So anyways, it's like hiring apersonal trainer, but for love.
We work on your mindset, youremotional patterns, and the
(04:15):
strategies on how to get whatyou want.
Because you deserve to haveoptions.
You do have options and youdon't deserve to settle for
whoever.
So, we go through that, pickthat all apart, and show you how
to get to that mindset where youknow that you're a bad bitch and
(04:37):
you can date and have fun andenjoy it and make decisions from
love and power instead ofconfusion and uncertainty.
That's a little bit about what adating coach is and what we
really do.
So what is the value in having adating coach?
Like why would it be important?
(04:59):
A dating coach helps a lot withaccountability.
You stop spinning your wheels,overthinking and freaking out
all the freaking time and youcan start taking like real
action steps.
So it's like there's someemotional regulation that we
work on and it applies to morethan just your dating life.
(05:21):
Once you start practicing themindset skills on how to stop
spinning your wheels, you'lllearn how to apply that to your
dating life, your friendshipsyour work life, your personal
life.
You'll learn how to havehealthier emotional regularity.
So I'm your accountabilitypartner and I teach you the
(05:42):
tools to do that.
I'm also a great support system.
I talk to you with compassion,with love.
I am there to challenge yourthoughts and give you an
opportunity to think a littlebit on a different perspective
and I ask you questions tounravel that.
So I'm there to support youthrough that discomfort.
(06:04):
'cause you're gonna go through alot of self reflection and
sometimes it's uncomfortable orpainful, and I'm there to
support you.
I'm not trying to give yououtdated or unsolicited advice
that somebody's trying to offeryou, and they know nothing about
it.
I have real world experience ofbeing single for a very long
(06:26):
time and making all the mistakesand spinning all my wheels and
going through it.
So I've learned how to createstrategies and a proven plan
that's specific for you so thatyou can learn how to date
confidently.
So that's the difference andthat's what coaches offer.
They want to make sure that youhave a plan that's going to help
(06:50):
you.
It's not gonna be this cookiecutter plan that might work for
some people and might not workfor others.
We really get to know you, andwe develop a strategy that you
can work with to move forwardand be more comfortable dating.
And eventually you'll end upseeing a transformation when you
go through your coachingprogram.
(07:12):
It helps you stop dating withinsecurity and start dating from
power.
So why?
Why would a single woman want tohire a dating coach?
You would wanna hire a datingcoach if you're tired of dating
the same guy that's in adifferent body.
You're attracting the samepeople over and over again, and
(07:33):
you know they're wrong for you,but you try it.
Just in case they might bedifferent and then they're not,
and it's disappointing and youare just doing the same thing
every single time and you'resick of dating that same guy.
When a woman hires a datingcoach, they learn how to attract
different people and how to veryquickly know which person is
(07:57):
great to get to know and whichperson isn't all that great and
they should be a pass.
Single woman would want to hirea dating coach because she's
confident in all areas of herlife, but completely insecure
about herself when it comes tolove.
So for me, I was supersuccessful in all areas of my
(08:18):
life.
I had a great family, a verysupportive family.
I went to college, I had my owncar.
I started my own career after Ifinished school.
I paid my student loans.
So anyhow, I was doing reallywell in all areas of my life and
I was confident in who I waseverywhere.
(08:39):
But when it came to finding aromantic partner or finding
someone that I actually wantedto take home to meet my parents.
I was just never able to findthat, and it felt so hard and so
unattainable that I lostcomplete hope for myself and all
my confidence as a single woman.
I just never thought that I wasgonna find anybody, and I had no
(09:02):
idea what was wrong with me andwhy nobody wanted me.
And a lot of times I spent hoursbelieving that it was because of
my body shape, because of what Ilook like, because I gained so
much weight, since I wasyounger, that I was in a body I
didn't want.
I made it so much about my bodyand I am focused so much on
(09:26):
learning to not love myself.
I was doing the reverse, right?
So the further that you get awayfrom that self-love and that
self-worth, the harder it'sgonna be to find the love that
you want.
You really have to learn thoseskills and figure out how to
(09:46):
have self-worth and confidenceand know that you're the shit
before you go out and find thatperson that's gonna see that in
you.
There's a lot of work when itcomes to having a dating coach
and working with somebody.
It's really valuable to havesomebody that is there to be on
(10:07):
your side and support you.
Especially somebody who's beenin that situation and has felt
all the things.
I am sure that I've had the samethoughts that you have.
It was quite the challenge a lotof times when I was single.
If she wants to date with apurpose and not just past time,
that is a reason that somebodywould want a dating coach again,
(10:29):
just like me, I wanted to datewith a purpose.
I wanted to find a long-termrelationship.
I didn't wanna just have acasual person to spend time
with.
And sure, I always wanted tohave people to meet and spend
time with and get to know andhave friends or however, but I
also wanted to find arelationship that was purposeful
(10:51):
and meaningful and would lead tomarriage.
I had to learn how to dosomething different.
If you're doing the same shitover and you're stuck and you
don't know how to get out of it,then a dating coach is a wise
idea if that's something thatyou would like to do.
How do you know if you would bea good fit for coaching?
(11:12):
Being able to be self-aware andopen to feedback is so
important.
If you want to be a good fit forcoaching, being able to talk
about yourself and beingvulnerable to a coach and,
picking holes through your pastand mend some of those wounds
that can help you in the futurewith your confidence and your
(11:36):
self worth.
We look into that and we deepdive into a little bit of your
past to see if some of yourbeliefs that you currently have
are linked to anything fromthat.
And we break it down and learnhow to change our mindset so we
can leave that in the past andput it in the future.
So if you're ready to startmoving forward and thinking
(11:59):
about how your life can be, inthe future, then you would be a
good fit for having a datingcoach.
If you're tired of half-assingyour healing process and you're
ready for real change.
If you have bad relationshiphistory and you are struggling
(12:19):
to move forward, then a datingcoach would be very valuable.
I know for me, I had arelationship, and it just didn't
work out.
Long story short, we did nothave the same goals.
We didn't have the same visionof our future.
For me, it was together.
For him, it was not with me.
(12:39):
And that's okay.
I was in a not greatrelationship and I really
struggled on how to create a newrelationship without having the
thought in my head that it wasgonna be a waste dating them
because they weren't gonna wannabe with me in the future.
I was never gonna find somebody'cause they were all gonna end
up turning out like my lastrelationship in a breakup.
(13:02):
And it really was a challengefor me to move on from that
thought.
I was ready to heal.
When you're ready fortransformation and see your life
be something that you envisionit to be instead of what you
don't think that you can everhave, right?
So if you want to have atransformation from your
ordinary life to something youdidn't think was possible for
(13:25):
you, having a coach would be agood fit.
Why should anybody hire a datingcoach instead of figuring it out
themselves?
A lot of people think oh, it'sso stupid.
You don't need a coach to tellyou how to date," and you're
probably right.
A lot of people think, oh, it'sso easy.
You're just having aconversation with people and
that's it.
(13:45):
Do you like them or you don't?
It sounds easy, but it's notwhen it involves so many
emotions and thoughts that gothrough your mind, and if you
have a lot built up that iskeeping you from dating
successfully, then yeah.
Some people need a dating coach.
That's the people who shouldthink about it.
(14:05):
If that's not where you are inlife, then you can figure it out
by yourself and you can do it,and that's great for you.
But not every single person canfind the right relationships
they actually want and deserveand need a little bit of help
figuring that out.
You shouldn't feel bad abouthaving to figure it out with a
(14:25):
little bit of help.
Love is very important in ourlives.
And I'm not talking about justlove for someone else.
I'm talking about love ingeneral.
Love for yourself, love for thisworld, love for your life, your
gratitude for things that are inyour life that are going well.
When you live in love, insteadof fear, anger, or resentment,
(14:51):
your life is just so much betterwhen you are in that abundance
and in that feeling of love.
And you get to create all ofthat.
So love is a very importantthing that people need in their
life.
And again, not necessarily arelationship.
(15:12):
Love, I'm just talking aboutlove in freaking general.
We learn how to date we learnhow to find the love that we're
looking for.
You don't need to wait until youlose 20 pounds.
You don't need to wait until youget your dream job for you to
start dating and start lookingfor love.
(15:35):
You don't have to wait and haveit all together.
Nobody has it all together ever.
We're all a work in progress andwe all have room for growth.
Why would you wanna wait untilyou lose weight before you find
a relationship?
Just do it now.
Find somebody who loves youright now instead of the person
(15:56):
that you are not.
Because you're not the personwho's lost the weight yet.
You're not the person that hasit all together yet.
You're not the person who hasthe dream job yet, but find the
person who wants to support youand be there now for you so that
they can see your transformationand be there to support you So
(16:17):
having somebody help you out alittle bit and get you through
those steps and give you thosetools instead of having to
figure it all out by yourself.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Just like you want education foranything else in your life that
you wanna learn how to do.
If you wanna learn how to datewell and how to enjoy your
single life, your dating life,your friendship life, all the
(16:39):
other kinds of relationshipsthat you have in your life.
If you want that to improve andit's something that you're
interested in, then just hire acoach.
Somebody who's gonna assist youand your future goals, like why
would it be wrong to have someextra support?
If you are struggling in anyarea and you think you can use a
(17:01):
little help figuring things out,there's nothing wrong with
getting a coach.
If you need counseling first.
Counseling and life coaching arenot the same thing.
Okay?
So sometimes people need to workwith counselors or therapists
alongside with a life coach.
Sometimes you might need to workwith a therapist first and then
(17:24):
move on to a life coach.
I am not a certified therapist.
I'm not a certified counselor, Iam an expert in dating.
So I want that to be very clear.
Life coaching and datingcoaching is a whole different
ball game.
I respect that boundary and Iwould never try to be somebody
(17:46):
that I'm not.
So if we were to have aconsultation and I think you
might be a great fit forcoaching, but you might need
some, other type ofinterventions first, I would
also recommend that too.
I wanna make sure that you aregetting the best support in your
life.
Creating a life you love issuper important.
(18:07):
Do it now.
Don't wait for something tostart living your life.
Live the life that you freakingwant right now.
If you wanna go on vacation, goon the damn vacation.
Don't shorten what you canexperience in your life because
you don't have a partner.
Go out and go find the damnpartner while you're having an
amazing single life.
And just learning how to developfriendships and healthy
(18:29):
relationships and a healthysocial life.
I've had clients that weren'tcomfortable dating online and
they wanted to learn how to meetpeople in real life and didn't
know how to go out by themselveswithout feeling uncomfortable.
She was learning to find placeswhere people would be.
Where it wouldn't be awkward togo out by yourself.
(18:50):
So you learn how to developskills and have a healthier
social life, and that's a greatgoal to have.
another thing people ask me,like, why are you different from
any other dating coach?
I was single for 10 years.
I have a lot of practice.
I felt invisible.
I felt frustrated, angry.
(19:12):
I always felt like I was thefat, funny friend.
it's bullshit.
I was single for 10 years and Ihad all these feelings about it.
I have a lot of experiencedating, a lot of freaking
weirdos, a lot of rejection, alot of rejecting that I needed
to do.
I've been in that life I canrelate to being that plus size
(19:35):
single person and that plus sizefriend and feeling like your
body is inconvenient to peoplesucks.
That's why I'm a little bitdifferent from other dating
coaches.
Feeling like your body is anapology is really shitty, and I
(19:57):
don't know if straight sizepeople feel that.
But I definitely felt that whenI was single and trying to learn
how to date.
So I definitely know theemotions that are involved in
dating and how hard that couldbe, and frustrating it could be.
I feel like dating while fat isa whole nother way of dating.
(20:19):
We all have emotional challengesand mental challenges when we're
dating at all size of humans,but I think the thoughts that we
have as plus size women, they'redifferent and we really
understand each other when wetalk about it.
I'm here for all the things.
I wanna talk to you and getnitty gritty about all those
(20:40):
things that you might bethinking I am your hype woman.
I am not here to help you get aman.
I'm not trying to be yourmatchmaker, I'm not trying to be
your hitch.
I'm here to help you become abetter version of yourself and
the person who never settles,the person who dates to find
what they're looking for andwhat they deserve to have, and
(21:03):
not somebody who is dating justbecause.
If this episode hits home withyou and you are, considering
coaching, please, I would loveyou to schedule some time.
Let's talk about it and see ifit's something that works.
the link to the consultationcalendar is in my show notes.
(21:24):
It will be there and you canjust click on that link and
it'll go straight to my calendarAnd you can schedule an
appointment.
I don't need a credit card oranything.
There's no personal informationexcept for your email You don't
need to earn love by shrinkingyourself.
You just need the right tools,support and strategy to start
showing up As the woman whoknows she deserves it.
(21:46):
So if you're ready to do thisthing for real, click on the
link below in the show notes.
I'd love to hear your story andI love to help you make the
first step.
So just remember that datingdoes not have to be miserable.
You don't have to settle and youfor damn sure don't have to do
it alone.
You've got this and I've gotyou.
(22:08):
So let me know what you thinkand maybe I'll talk to you soon.
If not, I'll talk to you nextweek.
Bye.
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